Challenge: Ultimate Non-ASB Tondo-Centered Malayo-Wank

CMBA

Banned
Basically what it says in the title.

It seems that the forums is somewhat short on scenarios regarding South East Asia, which is why I bring you this challenge...

What is the greatest possible Malayo-wank without invoking ASB intervention?

Bonus points if it's centered around the Kingdom of Tondo.
 
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