Challenge: Make this come true!

When asked by the teacher to summarize WW1, one of my college history classmates, with a completely straight face, told the class that WW1 was the war during which the US gained it's independence from France. The teacher cut her off before she could go any further, but later I asked her for more details about her version of WW1. She then elaborated that "in the late 1800s, I think" the Americans declared independence from France. (Although after the teacher had stopped her so abruptly she was begining to question whether she was right about that "It could have been from Mexico, I always get those two mixed up.") The American cause was aided by Nazi Germany (she said she wasn't quite sure if Hitler was in charge yet, but she knew the Nazi party definitely was). Of course, after helping them gain their independence, the Nazis turned on their former allies and sunk the USS Maine off the coast of Texas, thus starting WW2.

That is, create a timeline containing the following:

-World War I is fought between France and Germany in the late nineteenth century.

-As part of the war, the "United States of America" gain independence from France.

-World War II is fought between America and Germany.

-The casus belli for the war is the sinking of an American ship, the Maine, by Germany in the Gulf of Mexico.

-During both wars, the ruling party in Germany is called the National Socialists.

Alternative challenge: replace France with Mexico above.
 
French win French and Indian War, allowing France to control the Thirteen Colonies and butterflies away the Revolution
That's all I got for this.
 
I got nuthin' but gut-busting laughter here. :p

I keep remembering Bluto from Animal House: "Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?"
 
That is, create a timeline containing the following:

-World War I is fought between France and Germany in the late nineteenth century.

-As part of the war, the "United States of America" gain independence from France.

-World War II is fought between America and Germany.

-The casus belli for the war is the sinking of an American ship, the Maine, by Germany in the Gulf of Mexico.

-During both wars, the ruling party in Germany is called the National Socialists.

Alternative challenge: replace France with Mexico above.

Did she actually say that!?!?!?:eek::eek: WTF what a stupid woman! i would have laughed in her face!!! Thats hilarious!!!
 
Did she actually say that!?!?!?:eek::eek: WTF what a stupid woman! i would have laughed in her face!!! Thats hilarious!!!

Yes this is actually a real story. Other than what I specifically put in quotes is paraphrased though. She actually went on for quite a long time as I tried to keep my composure. She dropped the class before the end of the second week though. I really wish she'd have stayed to hear about real history. It probably would have blown her mind.
 

Penelope

Banned
Yes this is actually a real story. Other than what I specifically put in quotes is paraphrased though. She actually went on for quite a long time as I tried to keep my composure. She dropped the class before the end of the second week though. I really wish she'd have stayed to hear about real history. It probably would have blown her mind.

I'll bet! Bwahahahahahahaha! What a stupid woman, this is sadly where us Americans get our stereotypes. :eek:
 
Realistically, this should probably be in the ASB forum. Any TL with "US gains it's independence from France" would need a POD so early that it would probably butterfly away the Nazi movement. Not to mention how weird a POD this would probably require in the first place.
 
Realistically, this should probably be in the ASB forum. Any TL with "US gains it's independence from France" would need a POD so early that it would probably butterfly away the Nazi movement. Not to mention how weird a POD this would probably require in the first place.
I think it is theorethically possible as you don't need the Nazi's for this challenge, but a party named national socialists. Both natinal and socialist are broad enough terms that it could happen, in theory unlikely as it is.

What we need is a French America that becomes independent. I think that the seven year war is far too late, there were too few French in northern America for that too work and the British already were far too strong. As with all more succesful France in America timelines you need the French to accept more colonists, so lets assume that happens. For fun we use a Netherlands that is more interested in northern America. The Dutch colonies and the British colonies go to war during the Anglo-Dutch wars, but the Dutch colonies are to strong for the English to conquer, but because of the wars they do weaken themselves. Next the French go to war against the English and later the Dutch and manage to conquer New England and the New Netherlands.

Time goes on. France becomes an absolute monarchy and is the strongest country in Europe. They have defeated the Netherlands in America, so lets say they also have conquered the Netherlands in Europe and have their precious Rhineborder. Because of the absolute monarchy the Americans aren't very happy. Because the Netherlands is conquered by France many Dutch decided to go to the America's and so dida lot of Germans from the Rhineland. Across the Rhine Germany has united, mainly to stop the French. A nationalist party arose in Germany with socialist tendencies calling themselves national socialists. One of the most important points of that party is to regain the Rhinelands (and the netherlands).

The colonists in america decide they want to get rid of the absolute French monarch and revolt against the French. The Germans seeing what happened decide to support them, seeing them as their German brothers. The result is a big war between Germany and the American rebels on one side and the French on the other. Throw in a couple of other countries and you have a world war. The German/American side wins. The Germans hoped to incorporate the American colonies into their own country, but the Americans refused, leading to tensions between the two nations. The tensions erupt when the Germans sink an American ship: the USS Maine, which they though was a French ship and another world war starts.
 
Anybody else remember that SNL sketch "People Who Never Graduated High School Talk About the Civil War."

Turns out the ACW had Nazis and Ninjas.
 
I'm f'ing speechless...

What's the challenge...nope, I can't get past the idea of someone that stupid actually getting admitted to any sort of accredited institute of higher learning.

I'd love to hear her describe the Teapot-Dome Scandal, though.

That'd be an interesting conversation to say the least.
 
What exactly did France get out of helping the rebels in the ARW?

Maybe they could have driven a harder bargain and persuaded the CC to agree to the nascent USA becoming a semi-autonomous French dominion
 
What exactly did France get out of helping the rebels in the ARW?

Maybe they could have driven a harder bargain and persuaded the CC to agree to the nascent USA becoming a semi-autonomous French dominion

That would make for quite an interesting TL, but I do not see trading George for Louis as being a viable option for the Founding Fathers. Maybe if the French Revolution comes fifteen years earlier, and is not nearly as chaotic and savage, you might have something. If they win, America probably gets at least part of the Canadian Maritimes out of this, while France gets Quebec back as well as points west in OTL Canada. The British perhaps reduced in the Western Hemisphere only to Newfoundland and some Caribean islands.
 
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