Challenge: Florida counts, and Clinton's the nominee now? What the Hell?

I'm not necessarily complaining, I just have absolutely no idea how this happened. Have I been living in a cave for the last seven months, you ask? Close, actually. On Jan 25 of this year, just before the South Carolina primary, a deal fell into my lap that would require me to immediately board a plane for China and work 16 hours a day, 7 days a week, for an indeterminate amount of time. In my field, this is the sort of move that makes your career, so I was off. Short version: I got it done, they loved it, I'm just back in the US for a few days to wrap up my affairs and move permanently to Shanghai and my ducky corner office and seven-figure salary. Yay me.

So: what I knew before I left: the Florida Democrats broke party rules and moved their convention to an early date, and the party punished them by revoking their delagates' right to vote for the nominee. Clinton was the only Democratic nominee of note on the ballot there- Obama and Edwards didn't campaign in Florida. In the race overall, Edwards was a distant third and sort of a non-factor. Also, the Clinton/ Obama rhetoric was getting a bit nasty.

(POD) What I've learned since I got back, mostly from overheard conversations at LAX: Clinton and Obama have "...savage, just VICIOUS..." things to say about each other. An African-American gentleman laments his support of Bill Clinton: "I swear, I used to LOVE that man. Not no more- Massa's moving back into the White House." contra the white lady in the "World's Best Grandma" sweatshirt: "It's probably for the best. You just can't be a serious candidate for President of the United States of America and say those sorts of things about Iran, Venezuela, and New Zealand :confused:. Hillary isn't that naive."

Also, John Edwards "...wants to be kingmaker," or perhaps to "... lock up the Vice-Presidency." Either way, "...he has the wins, so they can't just ignore him." I have no idea what a "Super-Delegate" is, but one fellow is willing to wager "a million dollars" that "...you won't see THEM in 2012- the Democratic Party will TOTALLY overhaul the system." And of course, CNN is reporting that in Denver, the Democratic National Committee has elected to count Florida's delegates after all, and thus Clinton will be the nominee. So fill me in: what the Hell happened between late January and late August 2008 that's led to this state of affairs?

Failing that, what did Obama say about New Zealand?
 
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