Canadian Defense Scheme No.1 implemented... on a mistake

From wiki, though brought up in a recent thread.

Defence Scheme No. 1 was created in 1921 and details a surprise attack on the northern U.S. as soon as possible after evidence was received of an American invasion of Canada. According to the plan, Canadian troops would immediately be sent to seize Seattle, Washington; Great Falls, Montana; Minneapolis, Minnesota; and Albany, New York in a surprise attack. In case of heavy resistance, the Canadians would retreat to their own borders, destroying bridges and railways to hinder any retaliation by the Americans. The purpose of the invasion would be to allow time for Canada to prepare its war effort and to receive aid from Britain, or to limit the American invasion before the US government opted to discontinue the incursions. Defence Scheme No. 1 serves as a counterpart to the Americans' War Plan Red, a plan to invade Canada, drafted in 1930.

So let's let a cosmic joke take place. After a series of comedic errors, hidden misunderstandings, and perhaps the Canadian discovery a copy of an America-invades-Canada book that is sent to someone in the highestlevels of the American government, Canada implements Defense Scheme No. 1.

Ignorring all those irrelevant details like "reality", what can we get from this? Serious answers and reverse situations of Canadian Bacon alike are accepted: all hail the end to prohibition in Canadian's occupied areas!
 
We get this:

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Markus

Banned
as soon as possible after evidence was received of an American invasion of Canada.

Hmm, IMO they refer to real evidence, not something Mr. Bush would act on. so we are talking about high tension, reservists being called up, troops moved to the Canadian border.

I don´t think we can have an accidental invasion, at least not from the North. I´m not so sure about the other direction. :D
 

boredatwork

Banned
Assuming this happens in 1921 - based on the original posting. Anything after from 1911-1917 won't happen due to English desire to maintain US as possible/actual ally vs Germany. Anything from 1939 - 1945 won't happen due to WW2 concerns, and after 1945 is impossible, between US nukes, NORAD agreements, etc.

Humor
- price surge in cost of maple syrup (due to New England boycotts) bankrupts Canada. Offended English - upset that Canada just attacked their new (post WW1 remember) ally and creditor expel Canucks from commonwealth. Canada responds by applying for and recieving admission to Kingdom of Denmark.

The war continues in spurts of random idiocy on both sides, finally ending in the Reykjavic (sic?) accords mediated by the Inuit-Nunavut Republic of Greater Alaska.

The Danish-American Wars (aka - the Maple Syrup War, the Bacon War, the Aboot War, The Barrel War, The Havarti Raids, and the dreaded Breweries Massacres of '38) end up being memorialized (after some awkwardness around the razing of Ottawa, Montreal, Detroit, and Niagara Falls) in the Mermaid Cup - annualized hockey competition in Iceland - winner takes home the Mermaid (formerly of Copenhagen).

Due to the repeated inane destruction of each sides sports stadiums, beer and liquir brewing capacity, harbors, bridges, dams, marching bands, and memorial architecture, during the final victory ceremony (in which King Rolf Rolfsen McMurray of Lower Eastern Greater Outer Left at the light and two doors down from Tastee Freeze Sasketchawan (grammar teachers also suffered horribly) surrendered his ceremonial hockey stick and cricket bat to General John MadMoose Belushi) the following exchange was overheard - "Looks like the crazy vandals won" "so, they also lost" "too true"

This first (or final - whatever) indiginity marked the fall of Canada, and the USA, and the innauguration of Kickass Vandalia.

Serious
- bad, bad, bad idea. US population and industrial base vastly overmatch that of Canada. In addition, the border, while not heavily patroled was more closely watched than folks assume based on relations today.

The US first reactions will be to mobilize forces, and tell the UK to either reign in their idiot subjects or pay the full face value of their debt in bullion. Throw in an already heavily armed and nationalistic populace, and the likelihood that the UK wasn't interested in another war (WW1 was more than enough) with a (more or less) ally, and Canada will be informed that they have bitten off far more than they can chew.

Assuming someone has the common sense to order immediate withdrawls, Canada might get off with just losing (no longer British) Columbia and some of the Maritimes. The folks who ordered the invasion will be hounded from public office (at the least) and may end up prosecuted on some pretext. Canada in this case may lose Dominion status and return to direct rule by London.

If it comes to US mobilization and pushing Canadian forces out, Canada is done for as an independent entity. This is about the only scenario (short of Quebec secession in the 70's/80's) that could result in Canada being annexed by the US that doesn't require Nazi/Soviet/Crazy/ASB America.
 
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Assuming this happens in 1921 - based on the original posting. Anything after from 1911-1917 won't happen due to English desire to maintain US as possible/actual ally vs Germany. Anything from 1939 - 1945 won't happen due to WW2 concerns, and after 1945 is impossible, between US nukes, NORAD agreements, etc.

Humor
- price surge in cost of maple syrup (due to New England boycotts) bankrupts Canada. Offended English - upset that Canada just attacked their new (post WW1 remember) ally and creditor expel Canucks from commonwealth. Canada responds by applying for and recieving admission to Kingdom of Denmark.

I think this is highly unlikely. I am sure the Canadians have their own Strategic Reserves of Maple syrup. There is with a Maple Leaf on their flag so those trees must be found in abundance up there.

However, I would be concerned about a nation with a marijuana leaf on their flag.
 
the troops sent to seize Great Falls MT wander around in bewilderment, thinking "hey, the place is supposed to be one of MT's largest cities, this little village can't possibly be it." They think the US has rearranged all the road signs to confuse them, and they run back across the border in a funk....
 
If there are terrorist attacks on US soil by disgruntled Canadian Muslims, and the Bush Administration cracks down on the border, placing large amounts of troops there, you might have something...
 
So if Quebec broke away from the rest of Canada, the US might annex the rest? Why? I think Canada sans Quebec would be a perfectly viable nation. And wouldnt parts of a Quebec probably break off anyhow and rejoin Canada?
 

boredatwork

Banned
well, to be snarky, Canada has always struck me as minnesota/wisconsin writ large. The only thing that gave it any distinctiveness was Quebec. Once Quebec leaves, I have a hard time seeing the point in a separate Canada. Of course, a lot of that is down to my not being Canadian, and the only Canadians I've known in real life to be a few ditzy sorority girls I dated in undergrad.

On a less snarky note - Canada post 1880 or so is always going to be in danger of being absorbed defacto into the US )in cultural and economic terms at least). The socialized medicine and the Commonwealth are pretty weak strands to hang a country from. Without Quebec and it's enforced distinctiveness, that process is only going to strengthen over time. There's no need for the process to be hostile, or even entirely one way - though sheer numbers indicate that it will be largely one way.

In any case - I thought this was supposed to be primarily a humorous thread - so I'll knock of the WSJ-speak.
 
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