(GRAPHICS: Fox News SPIN CYCLE)
The video screen has a host – some Fox News trophy blonde in a pantsuit in the middle of the set. The words “BREXIT” appear on the upper right, with a map of Great Britain in black with the EU nations in red.
HOST: “In just three weeks, residents of the United Kingdom will make a decision of a lifetime. They will decide whether they want to stay as part of the European Union or if they want to leave, a move now known as “Brexit.” We have with us today Matthew Ryan Scott, the co-host of National Public Radio’s morning show ‘On The Spot’ and a frequent contributor to The Atlantic and The Guardian who has written at-length about why England should stay in the EU. And joining us from overseas is Lord Michael Howard, the former leader of England’s Conservative Party and an outspoken supporter of the “leave” movement. Thanks for joining us!”
(Both men grin and say thanks.)
HOST: “Well, Matthew, we’ll start with you. You recently wrote a piece for The Atlantic dubbed ‘England’s Folly” where you said that this could be a life-altering mistake for not just Brits, but the entire world. Why is that?”
MATTHEW: “Well, on top of the economic reasons, I just think it’s a bad idea. I lived in the UK for several years after college. I love the English and the Brits. My entire den is decorated with Arsenal flags. But I think my favorite thing about being in the UK was that it is the center of the world. It is a place where people from everywhere want to go to and live in. And so much of this ‘Leave’ movement is based on nothing more than xenophobic hysteria. We should be so lucky to live in a place that could be a true example of a multicultural experience.”
HOST: “Your thoughts, Lord Howard?”
MICHAEL: “Well, that sounds a bit naïve, doesn’t it?”
(Matthew chuckles at the insult.)
MICHAEL: “The reason why I and so many Britons are voting leave is because we simply despise being part of a system that we have no say in. We are now tied politically to nations like Greece that lag far behind us in being a responsible economy. We must take orders and have laws aligned with professional politicians in Brussels who have no regard for anything related to the UK –“
MATTHEW: “Like their policies related to immigration that you and your Tories would like to stuff.”
(Michael laughs.)
MICHAEL: “Yes. Immigration is a factor. But xenophobic? The UK and London will remain home to all people and creeds. However, the EU’s stamping of the passport of anyone who wants to move here has its effect on those of us who have been here. Why, when I talk with many of my constituents, they’re worried that there won’t be an England they recognize anymore in several years. We need to balance multi-culturalism with the fact that this is indeed a nation first and member of some bogus, failing union second.”
MATTHEW: “And that’s an example of Anglo-philia at its worst, right there. You, Mr. Howard –“
MICHAEL: “That’s Lord Howard –“
MATTHEW: “You want the Old England to remain. Your traditions and your past won’t die just because of an influx of foreigners. Your traditions and your past will only die because of dinosaurs such as yourself who refuse to evolve and embrace the totality of the world.”
(Michael snidely laughs.)
MICHAEL: “I assume you know all about English ways from the few months you spent here as a student. After all, I assume that’s the only time in your life you had anything resembling a proper education, my dear boy.”
MATTHEW: “Well, MISTER Howard, I am proud to say I have been educated in America. I am proud to say that my son is a student in a diverse public school filled with students. And I am also proud to know that true Brits – truly educated scholars of the world, and not elitists catering to bigots such as yourself – will stay in the EU. ”
MICHAEL: “It’s a shame that your son won’t have the opportunity to come study in one of our schools, Matthew. I would bet that despite his father’s smug grin that he has plenty of potential. Just the potential England has once we end this EU charade and get on with things. Which I will guarantee will be the result of the referendum in a few short weeks, despite Matthew’s thoughts to the otherwise.”
(Matthew rolls his eyes.)
MATTHEW: “I will place a wager on stay. In fact, Mr. Howard… as you insulted me before… I will send my son to an English school of your choosing for the next year of his life if this vote does indeed pass for the ‘proper education’ you feel he lacks if indeed this passes. Because a vote in favor of leaving means this is a world he does not know as this intolerance is not something I have taught him.’
(Michael smiles devilishly.)
MICHAEL: “Well, I will start to have a room prepared for the young man. I’ll have him sipping tea and speaking in the Queen’s tongue in no time.”
The video screen has a host – some Fox News trophy blonde in a pantsuit in the middle of the set. The words “BREXIT” appear on the upper right, with a map of Great Britain in black with the EU nations in red.
HOST: “In just three weeks, residents of the United Kingdom will make a decision of a lifetime. They will decide whether they want to stay as part of the European Union or if they want to leave, a move now known as “Brexit.” We have with us today Matthew Ryan Scott, the co-host of National Public Radio’s morning show ‘On The Spot’ and a frequent contributor to The Atlantic and The Guardian who has written at-length about why England should stay in the EU. And joining us from overseas is Lord Michael Howard, the former leader of England’s Conservative Party and an outspoken supporter of the “leave” movement. Thanks for joining us!”
(Both men grin and say thanks.)
HOST: “Well, Matthew, we’ll start with you. You recently wrote a piece for The Atlantic dubbed ‘England’s Folly” where you said that this could be a life-altering mistake for not just Brits, but the entire world. Why is that?”
MATTHEW: “Well, on top of the economic reasons, I just think it’s a bad idea. I lived in the UK for several years after college. I love the English and the Brits. My entire den is decorated with Arsenal flags. But I think my favorite thing about being in the UK was that it is the center of the world. It is a place where people from everywhere want to go to and live in. And so much of this ‘Leave’ movement is based on nothing more than xenophobic hysteria. We should be so lucky to live in a place that could be a true example of a multicultural experience.”
HOST: “Your thoughts, Lord Howard?”
MICHAEL: “Well, that sounds a bit naïve, doesn’t it?”
(Matthew chuckles at the insult.)
MICHAEL: “The reason why I and so many Britons are voting leave is because we simply despise being part of a system that we have no say in. We are now tied politically to nations like Greece that lag far behind us in being a responsible economy. We must take orders and have laws aligned with professional politicians in Brussels who have no regard for anything related to the UK –“
MATTHEW: “Like their policies related to immigration that you and your Tories would like to stuff.”
(Michael laughs.)
MICHAEL: “Yes. Immigration is a factor. But xenophobic? The UK and London will remain home to all people and creeds. However, the EU’s stamping of the passport of anyone who wants to move here has its effect on those of us who have been here. Why, when I talk with many of my constituents, they’re worried that there won’t be an England they recognize anymore in several years. We need to balance multi-culturalism with the fact that this is indeed a nation first and member of some bogus, failing union second.”
MATTHEW: “And that’s an example of Anglo-philia at its worst, right there. You, Mr. Howard –“
MICHAEL: “That’s Lord Howard –“
MATTHEW: “You want the Old England to remain. Your traditions and your past won’t die just because of an influx of foreigners. Your traditions and your past will only die because of dinosaurs such as yourself who refuse to evolve and embrace the totality of the world.”
(Michael snidely laughs.)
MICHAEL: “I assume you know all about English ways from the few months you spent here as a student. After all, I assume that’s the only time in your life you had anything resembling a proper education, my dear boy.”
MATTHEW: “Well, MISTER Howard, I am proud to say I have been educated in America. I am proud to say that my son is a student in a diverse public school filled with students. And I am also proud to know that true Brits – truly educated scholars of the world, and not elitists catering to bigots such as yourself – will stay in the EU. ”
MICHAEL: “It’s a shame that your son won’t have the opportunity to come study in one of our schools, Matthew. I would bet that despite his father’s smug grin that he has plenty of potential. Just the potential England has once we end this EU charade and get on with things. Which I will guarantee will be the result of the referendum in a few short weeks, despite Matthew’s thoughts to the otherwise.”
(Matthew rolls his eyes.)
MATTHEW: “I will place a wager on stay. In fact, Mr. Howard… as you insulted me before… I will send my son to an English school of your choosing for the next year of his life if this vote does indeed pass for the ‘proper education’ you feel he lacks if indeed this passes. Because a vote in favor of leaving means this is a world he does not know as this intolerance is not something I have taught him.’
(Michael smiles devilishly.)
MICHAEL: “Well, I will start to have a room prepared for the young man. I’ll have him sipping tea and speaking in the Queen’s tongue in no time.”