Blood Stained Carpet and the Pretzel of Death: A Post 9/11 Timeline

I've had this timeline idea in my head for a while. I basically wanted an America without the Iraq war, so I looked up near death experiences for president Bush before 2003, and I found this on a site with a bunch of medical records from presidents

"On January 13, 2002, Bush lost consciousness while sitting on a couch in the White House, watching a football game. His head hit the floor, resulting in an abrasion on his left cheekbone and a small bruise on his lower lip. The incident was blamed on a combination of Bush not feeling well in previous days, and an improperly eaten pretzel. Their combined effect was to slow the President's heart. The period of unconsciousness was brief."

I wanted a title that would be memorable, and Pretzel of Death came to mind. I will have the first part of this timeline posted in the next couple days. So before I begin, is there anyone with interest in this idea, or should I stop here?
 
Yes, please do! I remember when that happened -- an awfully bizzare incident, but everybody had a bit of fun with it for a while as yet another "dumb Bush" moment. And yeah, I still can't help but smile thinking back on it.

And good job on coming up with a good title; it certainly caught my eye right away.
 
I basically wanted an America without the Iraq war,


don't forget Cheney.

maaaybe he isn't clear of the president when the folks with the defibrillator yell "clear!" and attempt to zap Bush back to life?
 

Sir Chaos

Banned
Absolutely, then moving on to England since they have the wrong kind of Football, and Bush died during watching a football game.

Bavaria wouldn´t be a loss, but I´d hate to see Massachusetts be invaded by accident because someone thought "Old England, New England, who cares, they´re both in Africa for all I know".
 
Bavaria wouldn´t be a loss, but I´d hate to see Massachusetts be invaded by accident because someone thought "Old England, New England, who cares, they´re both in Africa for all I know".


Dukakis, sharing a cell at Guantanamo with a prominent Persian cat breeder
 
first post

I ask that before you start reading this I want you to put yourself in the state of mind of the period in which this timeline takes place. This is before Bush was synonomous with idiocy and before Cheney was synonomous with Darth Vader. At the point in which this timeline takes place, they still have extremely high approval ratings. So please leave your political bias at the door. We don't need to hear a bunch of Cheney was a monster and Bush was an idiot jokes here. You can watch the Daily Show everyday if you still want to hear someone make fun of Bush. Now, without furthur ado

Blood Stained Carpet and the Pretzel of Death: A Post 9/11 Timeline

January 13, 2002

5:35 Pm: President George W. Bush looses consciousness while sitting on a couch watching football. He falls forward, hitting his head on the corner of a coffee table in front of him.

6:07 Pm: President Bush is found on the floor by his wife, with his body lying in a pool of blood.

6:11 Pm: The White House medical staff is alerted of the President’s injury and sends an emergency stretcher to the location.

6:14 Pm: The Stretcher arrives in the private quarters of the White House and lifts President Bush onto the stretcher.

6:19 Pm: White House Counsel, Alberto Gonzales, calls Vice President Dick Cheney and informs him of the situation with the President. Cheney agrees to temporarily to take the powers and responsibilities of the President until President Bush is deemed well enough to lead.

6:22 Pm: Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert and President pro tempore of the Senate Robert Byrd, are faxed the text of the phone call to vice president Cheney and informed of the situation.

6:25-35 Pm: Alberto Gonzales calls Dennis Hastert and Robert Byrd to confirm that they received the fax.

6:30 Pm: An ambulance arrives at George Washington Hospital with the President.

6:37 Pm: The President is rushed into the Emergency Room and surgery begins immediately.

7:09 Pm: After attempts to stop the bleeding and revive the president to consciousness, he pronounced dead.

7:14 Pm: The White House is alerted of the death of President George W. Bush.

7:20 Pm: The White House faxes and calls the Director of Central Intelligence, George Tenet, and Robert Mueller, Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

7:23 Pm: Vice President Cheney is informed of the President’s death.

7:27- 8:30 Pm: All the members of the House of Representatives and the Senate are informed of the event by fax and call.

7:40 Pm: An emergency press conference is held, alerting the media of the President’s Passing.

7:50 Pm: The death of President Bush is the top story of every 24 hour news channel in America, and the top story of most news channels around the world.

8:35 Pm: Air Force One is sent to pick up Dick Cheney at an undisclosed airport.

10:50 Pm: Cheney is picked up by Air Force One and flies back to Washington D.C.


January 14, 2002

1:50 Am: Dick Cheney is sworn in as President of the United States by Chief Justice William Rehnquist.
 
 
 
 
 
Last edited:
I always wanted to do a Pretzel death TL lol, I wonder who Cheney's going to select as his vp in the weeks ahead...Keep it comming:D
 
I always wanted to do a Pretzel death TL lol, I wonder who Cheney's going to select as his vp in the weeks ahead...Keep it comming:D

hmmm....interesting.

who were the second choices in 2000 ? who were leading Republicans in 2002 ?

Powell ? Mccain ? JAck Kemp ?, Phil Gramm ? Jeb Bush ?
 
hmmm....interesting.

who were the second choices in 2000 ? who were leading Republicans in 2002 ?

Powell ? Mccain ? JAck Kemp ?, Phil Gramm ? Jeb Bush ?
Powell strikes me as likely to be approached; at this time he's still very popular with the Republicans, and in the immediate post 9/11 world his military credentials make him even more appealing than normal. However, it's a reasonably open question whether or not he would accept; under the circumstances of January 2002, I think it's a reasonable possibility.
 
Powell would be good to hold Cheney back in some regards (Iraq), and would look very good considering the time period as a military man for the US citizenry and the rest of the world's outlook.

Expect some sort of dark-tinged but humorist reaction against pretzels/snack foods though.
 
Interesting idea that I look forward to reading. A couple of nitpicks, though. Cheney could become Acting President only by a vote of the Cabinet with him concurring (25th Amendment, Section 4). A letter from Laura does nothing. By the time the Cabinet was able to pull together a conference call, Bush would already be dead. However, there is probably some continuity of government plan that allows Cheney some authority to act.

Second, he would not be taken to St. Elizabeth's. It would be the ER at George Washington Hospital, the closest to the White House and the same place Reagan was taken.

I'm also a bit baffled as to why Cheney would be at some undisclosed airport. If they evacuated him for some reason, it likely be to the Mt. Weather facility in Virginia or to the DoD's Site R facility in Raven Rock, PA or to Camp David (which is near Site R), all of which are likely to be some of the undisclosed locations he used in reality and which are highly secure. All of these sites are perhaps a 20 to 30 minute helicopter ride from DC. I would think it more likely, however, that he would stay in DC, either at the VP's residence at the Naval Observatory or at the White House.
 
Interesting idea that I look forward to reading. A couple of nitpicks, though. Cheney could become Acting President only by a vote of the Cabinet with him concurring (25th Amendment, Section 4). A letter from Laura does nothing. By the time the Cabinet was able to pull together a conference call, Bush would already be dead. However, there is probably some continuity of government plan that allows Cheney some authority to act.

Second, he would not be taken to St. Elizabeth's. It would be the ER at George Washington Hospital, the closest to the White House and the same place Reagan was taken.

I'm also a bit baffled as to why Cheney would be at some undisclosed airport. If they evacuated him for some reason, it likely be to the Mt. Weather facility in Virginia or to the DoD's Site R facility in Raven Rock, PA or to Camp David (which is near Site R), all of which are likely to be some of the undisclosed locations he used in reality and which are highly secure. All of these sites are perhaps a 20 to 30 minute helicopter ride from DC. I would think it more likely, however, that he would stay in DC, either at the VP's residence at the Naval Observatory or at the White House.

Thanks for the interest and the nit picks. The Hospital will be changed, and the letter from laura can be taken out without it effecting the tl much. I said that he was picked up at an undisclosed airport because I could not find out where the hell Cheney was when Bush choked on the pretzal. So I chose an arbitrary amount of time to pick him up, and I assumed he would try to get to the white house as soon as he could in order to affirm his power.
 
second post

I didn't think this would be done so quickly, but I got some free time today waiting for a class that I am waitlisted on. So, for your entertainment, here continues

Blood Stained Carpet and the Pretzel of Death: A Post 9/11 Timeline

January- February, 2002
January 14th: Dick Cheney is sworn in as the 44th President of the United States

January 16th: The UN Security council unanimously establishes an arms embargo and freezes the assets of Osama Bin Laden, Al-Qaeda, and the Taliban.

January 18th: Plans are finalized for the funeral of recently deceased President George W. Bush.

January 21st: President Cheney announces that he will make public his choice for Vice President on February 5th.

January 23rd: Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl is kidnapped in Pakistan, accused of being a CIA agent by his captors.

January 27th: U.S. Special forces backed a local Afghan militia attack which killed 6 Al-Qaeda personnel held up in a hospital in Kandahar

January 29th: President Dick Cheney gives his first State of the Union Address.

February 1st: Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl is rescued in secret by U.S. Special Operations Forces.

February 2nd: Afghan interim leader Hamid Karzai established a special committee to investigate factional violence threatening the stability of Afghanistan. The nine-member commission, headed by Border Affairs Minister Amanullah Zadran, flew by helicopter immediately to the eastern city of Gardez where violence had erupted days before.

February 3rd: In Gardez, Afghanistan, Afghan and United Nations mediators, joined by U.S. officials, extracted a conditional cease-fire agreement from Bacha Khan and Padshah Khan.

February 5th: Cheney announces that his Vice President will be Donald Rumsfeld, the current Secretary of Defense.

February 8th: Winter Olympics begin in Salt Lake City, Utah.

February 10th: Donald Rumsfeld is approved by congress for the office of the Vice Presidency.

February 12th: Donald Rumsfeld is sworn in as Vice President.

February 14th:Afghanistan's aviation and tourism minister, Abdul Rahman, survived a mob attack at the airport in Kabul.

February 19: The Pentagon ordered two U.S. bombing raids against Afghan militias opposed to the new administration led by Hamid Karzai

February 20th: President Cheney announces his pick of Robert Gates to succeed Donald Rumsfeld as Secretary of Defense.

February 28:Gujarat communal riots begin
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Last edited:
Just a little nitpick, but doesn't the 25th Amendment specify that the Vice Presidential nomination if the post becomes vacant requires congressional approval? I have no doubt that Rumsfeld would be confirmed, but you should probably mentioning Cheney nominating Rumsfeld, and Rumsfeld being approved before he's sworn in as the new Vice President.
 
Top