The Times, 22nd August, 1949.
Jew Attempts To Assassinate German Fuhrer!
Today, in a rare instance for our recent memory, Fuhrer Adolf Hitler appeared in a parade within Berlin. Hitler, who has seemed to avoid public appearance recently, reportedly expressed a belief that it would be important to the moral of the Aryan people for him to appear before the crowds. However, as his motorcade made it's way down the Berliner streets, shots were heard from above (reportedly three to four in total). The Fuhrer was struck in his arm and shoulder, but avoided more serious injury. He is currently recovering and expected to heal soon and without complication.
Arrested for this crime was David Zimmermann, who was discovered to be a Jew and is suspected to have been working for the treasonous "European Liberation Front". It is predicted he will be punished swiftly for his crime with death...