Best Books Never Written

[CountDVB]

Paradise Lost: A tragic coming-of-age story of a group of kids growing up and dealing with the loss of their "paradise"... their childhood as maturity makes them see the writing on the walls and the problems they were not aware of as kids.

Dante's Inferno: The story of an arsonist named Dante as he punishes people for sins while being pursued by Virgil, a police officer and long-lost older brother.

 

[Hulkster'01]

Lord of the flies: A book mocking J R R. Tolkien and fans of Lord of the rings.

Suspicious Minds: an autobiography by Priscilla Presley discussing her marriage To Elvis Presley during the late 60’s and earlier 70’s.

 

[Ogrebear]

Prime Minister Theresa May and other things that did not happen (2016, Small Press)

 

[Seandineen]

In darkest europe. A detailed thrilling account of how Belgian chocolate makers, defined the European union to produce a milk chocolate bar for the Canadian market.

 

[Ogrebear]

Following on from the Success of Cyborg Commando and Unhallowed New Infinities Productions announce Gary Gayax's new fantasy rpg: Dangerous Journeys: Mythus - set in a new world of Adventure and Magic, this new rpg is unlike anything you have played before. Coming in Q4 1992!

 

[unclepatrick]

Death be not Proud by Robert Moore
The story of the dramatic rescue of the 9 survivors from the sunken Russian submarine Kursk by a British rescue submarine.
(Alternate version of the book "Time to Die" by Robert Moore.)

 

[Ogrebear]

The Art of the Fantastic Four!

A look into the concept art, special effects, and Marvel origins of the this year's Smash hit Roger Corman movie - with Forward by Stan Lee himself.

 

[UCB79]

A HUNDRED YEARS OF SOLITUDE by Donald
Trump. Best-selling prison memoir. Trump
was a rising star in NY state Democratic
party circles(his father- a noted real estate developer in NYC BTW- was a staunch Democrat & a noted friend of the Kennedys)- until he was convicted of embezzlement of campaign funds & extortion. Critics were of two minds about this book. Many praised its detailed account of prison life & felt it was
surprisingly well-written(especially coming in
for praise was Chapter VII, “The Art of the
Deal” in which Trump wrote about how to get
along with the prison guards). OTH, few
believed AHYOS’ constant assertions of the
author’s innocence(the reviewer for THE NEW YORKER went so far as to assert that
Trump got exactly what he deserved). Re-
gardless, AHYOS was also made into a
smash movie starring Tom Cruise. Whether
or not book & movie will succeed in launch-
ing a political comeback for Donald Trump
remains to be seen.

 

[tus3]

War of the Worlds:
A fantastical story written by the pro-abolitionist writter Abraham Lincoln detailing a Martian invasion of America wherein the Martians try to enslave the white American population and send them back to plantations on Mars, the remainder being forced into human reservates. (In a clear parody of the treatment of the Indian and Black population of America.)
The novel ends when all the invading Martians die of diseases.

It is generally regarded as one of the first examples of science-fiction.

 

[Alien and Sedition Bat]

My Brilliant Career: This sarcastically titled memoir by Kellyanne Conway of her years in the Trump White House was written while she was serving a brief sentence in federal prison for involvement in Trump's obstruction of justice conspiracy.

 

[UCB79]

My Brilliant Career: This sarcastically titled memoir by Kellyanne Conway of her years in the Trump White House was written while she was serving a brief sentence in federal prison for involvement in Trump's obstruction of justice conspiracy.

I wish I had thought of this Alien!

 

[Ogrebear]

How about this classic?

 

[Ogrebear]

A Dance with Dragons - Who knew Dragons could Tango? An exploration of the many dances Dragons, and their riders can partake in. Fully illustrated in coffee table format.

Fantastic Four- Superhero graphic novel series by Stan Lee exploring the rich world of the brutish Fantastic Thing, winged Dragonman, nature powered Ms Elemental, and teenager Invisi-guy. In the first book their Nemesis the diabolical Wizard Namor tries to turn New York into a smoking crater in the ground. Can Ms Elemental convince his put-upon apprentice Victor to help save the day?

101 Uses for a Dead Donkey- the news crew at Globelink News gives readers advice on news publishing and reacting to rapially changing events.

On the Beach - historical account of First Contact with the Skrulls on that sunny 1995 day on Blackpool Beach. Forward by Commander Talos himself.

Near Miss - a paper by Dr Ballard in 1985 re-examining the circumstances leading to RMS Titanic's near miss with an iceberg in 1912 and how the world might have changed if later-President Beesley had died on that cold April night.

 

[Alien and Sedition Bat]

Near Miss - a paper by Dr Ballard in 1985 re-examining the circumstances leading to RMS Titanic's near miss with an iceberg in 1912 and how the world might have changed if later-President Beesley had died on that cold April night.

And how the Golden Age of the science fiction genre might have been delayed until the 1940s (at least) if the four science fiction writers on the Titanic had died, including John Jacob Astor IV, who in our world went on to launch Jupiter, the first science-fiction publishing house. Would we ever have had Dorothy and Scott Fitzgerald's Galactic Empire trilogy, which won the first "Bellamy" (1929) and is now acclaimed as one of the greatest masterpieces of science fiction, and their deliciously witty "Pat Hobby, Galactic Effectuator," which was made into one of Broadway's all-time favorite musicals. It was the "Colonel" (Astor) who published them and then bankrolled the Pat Hobby musical.

 

[Driftless]

Grant by Ron Chernow. A meta-story about how historians and other academics work the grant process to fund their research and writings.

The 39 Steps. John Buchan's self-help best seller for the Obsessive Compulsive among us.

 

[Ogrebear]

The New Shadow by J.R.R Tolkien

Set 100 years after the fall of Sauron, The New Shadow is a thriller concerning Cults of Sauron developing in Gondor with youths playing at ‘Orcs’ with random acts of violence and destruction, and others digging into Mordor to find artifacts from the past. The central character Borlas finds himself drawn into this cult and rises through the ranks thanks to an ancient map of Mordor his family holds that leads to treasures of Mordor and risks awakening an ancient evil balrog.

Borlas however finds an ally in opposing the cult- an ancient Orc called Grun Freed who guides him away from the cult’s destructive ways and helps him oppose them, leading to destruction at their own hands as they try to awaken the balrog.

A strong change of tone from Lord of the Rings, many consider The New Shadow a sign of Tolkien’s range as a writer- in part depressing, dark, gloomy, and paced very differently, ‘almost too fast for Middle Earth’ as one critic put it. Christopher Tolkien called it his favourite book, as did Stephen Fry who would play Grun in the audio book version, with Derek Jacobi as Borlas.

 

[Colonel Zoidberg]

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - a young Vietnam draftee is stationed in a remote outpost known locally as the Chocolate Factory that is constantly under siege by the Viet Cong

 

[Time Enough]

Dreams of Fire, (1987):

Written by famed fiction and non fiction author Anne Frank, Dreams of Fire is a fictionalised version of her life in the Netherlands and then Britain in the aftermath of World War 2 to the 1957 General Election.

Starting in the aftermath of her release from Bergen-Belsen it follows teenage called "Kitty" heading back to the Netherlands and dealing with the horror she endured with her father, especially after her diary is rejected by the Dutch government.

As the world recovers from the war Kitty tries to find her place in the world as she becomes involved with left wing politics and fully realises her sexuality, starting a relationship with a young Communist called Mia. As the world looks like it's going to war again over the Berlin Blockade Kitty and Mia head to Britain where they soon become distant as Kitty tries to get her autobiographical work about the Holocaust published whilst Mia is arrested for "subversive activities" and is deported back to the Netherlands.

Kitty manages to get her work published but after spending time with the publishers and having to deal with deadlines she suffers an emotional breakdown as she becomes obsessed with the world ending and is sent to a retreat to recover. Whilst there she decides to write her first Fiction novel and enters into a romance with a doctor called Jeremy. After being released from the retreat she becomes involved in politics again as the Suez Crisis occurs, writing a scathing article about Israel's part in the Crisis and becoming part of the movement against Eden's Government leading to it's collapse. The book ends as she celebrates the election of Hugh Gaitskell as Prime Minister with Jeremy whilst looking towards the future.

Inspired by her friend J.G. Ballard's Empire of the Sun (1984) and her first work Diary of a Young Girl (1952) Anne Frank decided to fictionalise her experiences after the War, combining autobiographical elements with surreal and fictionalised elements to help tell her story.

Although popular and well reviewed the book did cause controversy. Many conservative readers who had read the abridged versions of her autobiographical work were shocked by the disturbing imagery present throughout the book, the sexuality of Kitty and several sexual scenes present in the book (despite the fact that since the late 60s Anne had been rather open about her bisexuality and this wasn't her first book to include sex scenes) and the section on the Suez Crisis due to the depiction of several leaders as animals with Egyptians complaining about the depiction of Gamel Abdel Nasser as a pig and the Israelis complaining about the depiction of David Ben Gurion as a Fox.

Despite it all the work would win the Man Booker Prize as well as being adapted into a graphic novel by Art Spegielman in 1995 which would become the basis for the 2016 animated film adaptation by Ari Folman.

 

[Tales Weaver]

Written in 1950, George Orwell's novel, Secret Annex is considered a masrerpiece It was inspired by letters exchanged between him and Otto Frank. After Otto Frank's Opekta Jam Company was given positive reviews by Eric Blair in 1930s, He and Otto became great friends. After returning, Otto Frank and Orwell exchanged letters, which stopped in 1940s. Along Anne Frank, Otto Frank wrote diary, in a form of letter to Eric Blair. As Otto Frank was only survivor of prinsengracht 253, as his family all were murdered by Nazis, he managed to send 'the letter' to Eric Blair, which inspired 1984, a dystopian classic. The Secret Annexe was a prequel to the story, set right during ingsoc's takeover dealing with a family who tried to hide in a room over his factory. He tries to contact outside world through letter with a man living in France.

 

[Zheng He]

Star Wars, Heir to the Empire by Timothy Zahn (1991) - Sequel to the Star Wars trilogy approved by George Lucas. The central character in the story is Darth Spectros, the apprentice Darth Vader was training in secret. After learning of the deaths of Darth Vader and the Emperor, Darth Spectros takes command of the remnants of the Imperial Fleet from Darth Vader's stronghold on Mustafar, and proclaims himself Heir to the Empire.