Best Books NEVER Written...?

The best books from the Chaos TL:

- Not exactly among the best books ever: "Das Paradies der Goldis" by Katherine Geller. The title has two double-entendres: First, "Paradise" can refer to the paradise, but also the city with the same name, ITTL the center of the movie industry; second, "Goldi" is the brand name of a doll ITTL (like Barbie), but also refers to "golden pills" in the book. Was forbidden by the Technocracy for violating censorship paragraphs no. 17, 18 and 49 - depiction of mental diseases (17), drug addiction (18) and lesbian love (49) respectively. (Seems to be the equivalent of "Valley of the dolls".)

Even less exactly among the best books ever: "Sumpfauen" by Karolin Roscher
The literal "meadows of swampland" describe any woman's land of vertical smile. After a shaving accident, 18-year-old Mazarine, child of divorced parents, lands at the proctological department of the UKW (Uni-Klinikum Wildenhartburg) and tries to reunite her separated parents, desperately elongating her stay for that. During this odyssey, Mazarine describes her achieved sexual experiences and her attitude to several kinds of corporal fluids. Major nausea fuel, especially as an audio book.

The Sorcerer's Stone Trilogy:
The definitive, must-read account of the 10 years investigation, conducted by the journalist JK Rowling, for which she won numerous Pulitzer Prizes, of one of the most chilling and charismatic figures in history, Harrison "Harry" Potter, the notorious cult leader and terrorist who terrorized Britain for close to 7 years before his death in Northern England. Includes newspaper articles, diaries and journals, letters, memorandum, and most famously the transcripts of Rowling's 4 interviews with Potter himself, including his attempted assassination and Rowling's recovery.

The trilogy consists of:

The Half-Blood Prince:
Potter's early life as an orphan in London. Details are sketchy, but Rowling does an excellent job of assembling a coherent picture of a gifted, troubled young man. After being transfered to a school for the gifted at 11, Potter would depart London at 17, and vanish for three years. This journey was conducted to find the Sorcerer's Stone, which Potter believed would grant him immortality and unlimited wealth. When he reemerged 3 years later, Potter had begun to believe that he was the scion of a union between an unnamed royal family member and a Angel from heaven, and began using the title "The Half-Blood Prince."

The Order of the Phoenix:
Potter's rise to power begins here, with the recruitment of his followers and beginning of campaign of terror. Potter believed that certain 'special' individuals, which he called "wizards" and "witches" were meant to rule the world, and had divine powers. Potter also believed that with the Sorcerer's Stone, his own growing abilities and the divine capabilities of his followers, they could not die. Thus, Potter coined the name of the Order of Phoenix, referencing both immortality and the fact that he would build his empire from the ashes of the old world. Potter soon assembled a following of 30-40 devoted individuals, and began carrying out his campaign of terror and chaos, which he believed would bring about the end of the world and the beginning of his new empire. This included the Dublin Fires, the Manchester Venom poisonings, and most famously, the Wednesday Nightmare suicide bombings in London, where 400 were killed in coordinated attacks on Buckingham Palace, Westminster during PMQ's and the headquarters of MI5, killing a dozen of Potter's followers. While both the Queen and Prime Minister survived, the damage was done, and Potter soon became the most wanted man in the world.
Rowling's writing here is extensively well-detailed, and her work in tracking and speaking with not only the people in power, but the men and women who encountered Potter were excellent. Her initial interview with Potter, who at the time had not yet been charged with any crimes, is extremely dar

The Deathly Hallows:
The final three years of the Order of the Phoenix, which is now collectively referred to as the Terror Years. This included the prisoner breaks, organized by Potter, at Wandsworth, the Edinburgh murders of prominent police, politicians and doctors, and the Black July, in which an attack of some kind was conducted every single day of July. Throughout the years, Potter was nearly caught, and most of his followers killed. Eventually a British task force, with US and EU assistance, located Potter, residing in a castle in the north of England which he called the Hallows.
After a week of siege, British Special Forces broke in, but the Hallows were destroyed from within, as Potter had rigged the castle to blow. There were no survivors, and Potter was confirmed dead. The famous image of his trademark glasses, broken and twisted on the ground, won a Pulitzer and is one of the most recognizable images of all time.
Rowling's writing reaches its' vivid peak here, as she accurately recaptures the terror and chaos of those dark days, as well as documenting her own capture at Potter's hand, and the forced interviews. Though Potter would let her go, saying that "she needed to tell his story to the world," he would try to have Rowling killed a month later in a bombing, though the attack was foiled by police and Rowling would fully recover from all of her injuries.
Ultimately, the books are a look into the twisted mind of one of history's greatest villains, and a fascinating view at a world of darkness.

Oh my god!

"Give Peace a Chance" by famed pacifist Osama bin Laden

"Everyone Has A Right To Live" by Adolf Hitler

"Extraordinary Sexual Practices" by Karol Woytyla

"Investment Banking 101" by Lindsay Lohan
 
Of the British Tyranny-By Laurence Kilkenny, the first American revolutionary in 300 years. This book sparked the Independence Wars.

Crafting a Superpower-By Laurence Kilkenny as he is placed in the argumentive Congress after the Independence Wars as the first President of the American Confederation.

Through Virginian Fields...-By Laurence Kilkenny after he retired from the office of President of the American Confederation. This is more relaxed compared to the previous books.
 
Heaven is For Real, by Todd Burpo

Denounced by Christians as a blasphemous, amoral screed, this book, written by infamous Christian apostate Todd Burpo, presents a seemingly simple premise: a young boy is taken in the prime of his youth by an easily preventable illness, and is taken on a journey through Hell, Purgatory and Heaven by Dante, Nietzsche and Mark Twain respectively. However, the book is filled with a complex deconstruction of traditional beliefs in the afterlife. The author has been especially criticized for "misinterpreting" Christian theology by putting non-believer Holocaust victims in Hell, and bible-believing Nazis in heaven.
 
La Divina Commedia, by Dante Alighieri

The most known (and probably the funniest) comical theatre play by the famous italian playwriter, a libertine bawdy tale of love, wit and practical jokes in the Middle Age Florence.
Nothwistanding its intricate and almost incomprensible plot, the play is amazingly funny, relying heavily on word-plays, puns and witticisms, often explicitly allusive to sexual activities.
The play's title is often translated as "the Divine Comedy", and the adjective "divine" is considered to be a flamboyant boasting of the author regarding its work's quality.
In fact, this is a common misconception, and the first word should be read as "Di Vina" instead, which is an archaic italian term referring to wine, thus making "the Comedy of Wine" a more correct translation of the play's title.
Alighieri himself, in one letter written to one of his many lovers, suggests so, stating that he wrote the play in an inn, while being drunk.
On the other hand, knowing the little modesty of the man and his aptitude toward puns, it is not unlikely that he willingly gave it a double meaning.
 
Found this: [post=4580530]Some books from Thande's LTTW[/post]

Also see these old threads (but no necromancy, please):
[thread=55322]The Greatest Books Never Written[/thread]
[thread=15708]Books in an ATL[/thread]
[thread=2809]Library with Alternate books[/thread]
 
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