(Another) Alternate Headlines Thread

OOC: Treat it like a DBWI, but use headlines and article summaries instead of posts. Titles should be 6 font, subtitles 4, and elaborative text 2.

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War?
President Roosevelt warns against German "meddling" in Columbian Canal Zone, declares American solidarity
Latest exchange between Munich, Richmond, sees war scares hit markets


 
Jerusalem Post

ARAFAT OUT!
Outspoken Ramallah MK abandons Israeli government coalition.
Labor stalwart George Habash dismisses protest as effort to reawaken confessional divisions. Shas/Hamas/UTJ alliance hoping to gain majority.
 
IT IS THE VOLK'S RIGHT!
Chancellor-Comrade Schicklgruber denounces Roosevelt's warnings, derides his claims of 'American solidarity'
Several high-profile Kriegsmarine warships spotted near Cuba, German Embassy reportedly burning documents
 
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Dow Jones passes 20,000, sets record high.
Economists ponder the strength and length of economic prosperity.
Just two years ago, that the stock market had managed to climb to 15,000. Indeed, it appears that the strong US dollar, combined with the elimination of the national debt, has created a powerful "adjustment" to the US economy. Indeed, this appears to be a vindication of President Bush's "Debt First" economic policy. Eight years ago, Bush explained to the United States that he would pay off the national debt. That day happened last year, a day when the NYSE stock exchange soared 5% in a single day. With a solid economic base and a government initiative to begin investing to increase revenues, the Bush Government was managed to do what few countries can ever claim--increase revenues without increasing taxes or increasing borrowing. We can only hope that the next US president is capable of such financial acumen.
 
From The Times, 23rd September 1957
HMSS VICTORIA LANDS: MAN ON THE MOON
"
I claim this territory for her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second, and for the British Empire. This is not the end of our mission. It's the beginning." - MoS Chief Pilot David Johnson
Such were the words of the first man to set foot on another world. Congratulations came from almost all nations, including the United States - President Eisenhower called this "An historic day for all mankind." - and from the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics - Premier Khruschev offered his personal thoughts on the mission, calling it "A most impressive achievement indeed." He appeared to joke, also - "We shall have to see what our own people can do!"
As the pilots and scientists of the Victoria make their initial exploration of the lunar surface, the reader will surely need little reminding
of the great strides the Ministry has made in a few short years. As recently as 1950, we witnessed an awful sight, as the first man in space, Sir John Dashwood, suffered the dreadful accident which cost him the use of his legs. At the time, this newspaper congratulated Sir John on his courage in doing everything possible to ensure that the Britannia did not hit a populated area upon re-entry, as well as his steadfast refusal to let his own unfortunate accident halt the programme.
Just seven years later, as the Union Jack flies on the surface of the Moon, we have Sir John to thank. Not only Sir John, of course - the scientists and technicians of the MoS deserve their mention, as do the brave pilots who have risked their lives to achieve such wonders as the Orbital Station. Lastly, we must not forget the role of the MoS's Chief Designer, Werner von Braun. However, Sir John has always been the driving force behind the Ministry, and...[etc]
 
October 1st, 1938

Czechs Attacked!!
Paris, Warsaw to support Prague against "Nazi Menace".
Correspondents in Prague, corroborated by the Czechoslovak embassy in London, report that a massive bombing attack began at dawn this morning. Despite the intensity of the air attack, the well defended Czech border easily stopped the German attack to a complete halt.
Prime Minister Chamberlain, who only days ago had attempted to reason with Chancellor Hitler, admitted that a terrible tragedy had unfolded, but has so far refused to fully announce his support for the Czechs.
Already, Prime Minister Eduard Daldalier of France and Polish President Ignancy Mosciki have given the Wehrmacht 24 hours to cease combat operations or they will enter the war at Czechloslovakia's side. We can hope that our Prime Minister, despite having tried so hard for peace on a personal effort, can join our allies in a show of collective security.
 
NEW YORK IN FLAMES!
NAZI BOMBERS RAIN DEATH ON THE CITY!! FDR PROMISES WAR!!
At approximatly 10:45AM, December 7th, Nazi bombers launched from the Aircraft Carrier Graf Zeppelin somehwere in the North Atlantic bombed New York City. The Brooklyn Bridge colapsed and the Empire State Building was severely damagred. Death tolls are allready in the hundereds, and expected to climb. President Roosevelt called this a "Day which will live in Infamy", and asked Congeres for a declaration of war on Hitlers Nazi Empire; bringing America out of its 4-year neutrality.
 
From uttp://gin.BBC.co.uk, April 14, 2074, 1:50 PM GMT

GLOBAL ATTACKS
Unknown terrorist forces unleash a storm of attacks across the planet
Cities from Lima, Peru, to Beiging, China have reported large explosions. As of now no one has any solid details. Governments across the country have been decapitated, deaths reported are Prime Minister Godwin, French President Mounier, German President Dühring, and Chinese Premier Buhai. American President Chalmers, on a diplomatic trip in Africa, has yet to be contacted, and is suspected to be dead. Panic has gripped the world. No one has claimed responsibility as of yet, but military analysts cannot fathom the coordination of the attacks.
 
WAR HAS COME TO BRITAIN! USSR LANDS!
Soviet Union's unprovoked attack on East Anglia brings Great Britain to war, Soviets wish to use island as a nuclear platform, driven back.
 

Sachyriel

Banned
ASB Guano Lands on Newspaers Nationwide! Yesterdays Papers Should Have Read 'Plucking American Chickens'!
Statements on American Neutrality on supplying food and ammo to Great Britain, France, and USSR burned in protest by American Embassy!
 
PASSENGER JET LANDS SAFELY

A Boeing 747 with 100 passengers landed safely at Cape Canaveral Florida today.

NASA spokesman Bill Readding hailed this as a brilliant example of American ingenuity and craftsmanship which the National Air Safety Administration has long supported. "All of our Boeing jets have a perfect safety record. This jet will be given a thorough inspection by our engineers, and it should be ready for another flight within the year."
 
Sept 10, 2001

Jihadist Plan Against America Foiled by FBI
Extremist Muslims targeted World Trade Center; Pentagon; Congress.
FBI Director Mueller today revealed the object of yesterdays sweeping raids to incarcerate some 30 radical terrorists, with a fully developed plan within days of execution. While the FBI has kept the names of the terrorists secret, it is now believed that these hijackers would have attempted to hijack passenger aircraft and use them to deliberately destroy these targets, killing perhaps ten thousand Americans in the Process.
President Bush has begun to call for an international manhunt against the believed mastermind, Osama Bin Laden, and plans to spend tomorrow giving a speech from the World Trade Center in the full view of many of the people who might have died in the act. Already, the FBI's bounty on Osama Bin Laden has been increased to $10,000,000.
 
Czechoslovakia declares independence from Warsaw Pact.
Coup in Czechoslovakia against communists successful, Czechoslovakia now joins NATO.
 
Germany surrenders
No country seems to be able to stop Belgium's conquest of Europe
Page 1: Germany surrenders after lightning raid towards Berlin
Page 2: Luxemburg forms alliance with France to prevent invasion
Page 3: Already annexed 'Northern Belgium' supports conquest of 'Eastern Belgium'; Dutch government in exile protests
 
FBI DECLARES WAR ON CIA

The government of the Federated Bordelais Isocracy has broken off negotiations with the Cabernet-Izarra Alliance

Disputes over the Salmiakki region of Koskenkorva remain unresolved.
 
HITLER CONDEMNS PEARL HARBOR ATTACK
FDR: "No Comment" To Nazi Aid Offer

WASHINGTON, Dec 10 (AP) - Reich Chancellor Adolph Hitler today issued a statement condemning the Dec. 7 Japanese air raid on US forces at Pearl Harbor, calling the attack an "example of the treachery of the yellow-skinned inferior races."

Chancellor Hitler also denied allegations that Germany would declare war on the United States, saying, "Our treaty obligations only require Germany to come to the aid of Japan if Japan is attacked," adding, "Clearly, this is not the case in this instance."

Hitler condemned the attack as "madness" and predicted that "Japan has awakened a sleeping giant", adding that "declaring war on the United States is madness."

"We continue to respect the neutrality of the United States," Hitler said, and offered to "provide any humanitarian assistance needed by our American friends."

When asked if the US would accept Germany's offer, President Roosevelt only offered an abrupt "No comment".
 
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