We interrupt the regular broadcast to bring you this breaking news. Secret militias are launching attacks against army bases all through the Southern United States. From phone calls and telegraphs this station has received, their goals are the capture of armaments and the liberation of the state capitals. Their goal, the restoration of the Confederacy. Yes America, it seems we are gripped by a 2nd Civil War. We will stay with this story all night.
Breaking news! Breaking news! Ships at Norfolk have begun firing on each other. It isn't clear what's going on, but we can only assume this new civil war is breaking out among our naval forces. Several ships have been sunk, and almost all have taken damage. It appears from reports that some ships have even been scuttle be their crews.
This just in! Oh my god! (dramatic pause)I'm not sure how to say this folks, so I'll just come out with it. The White House is reporting that President Roosevelt was visiting his winter home in the state of Georgia. It is being reported by the White House that President Roosevelt has been captured by these new Southern rebels. The White House apparently is already in contact and negotiations with the men holding the President. I believe this means that Vice President Garner must now be acting President. We will try to learn Vice President Garner's location. Does anyone know the Vice President's current whereabouts? What? (low mumbling)This report has just been told that Vice President Garner is believed to be visiting Texas. I'm sure ever effort is being made to contact him, and get him out of the state. We are going to take a short break. Please stay with us for this on going story.