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"The Marines, they're pulling up in black Ford Raptor Trucks, got the helicopters landing and everything! Ram Ranch is under siege, under lockdown...."
- Final radio transmission from Ram Ranch, December 25, 2017
On November 25, 2017, a state visit to New York by the Duke of Sussex went horribly wrong. As the motorcade made a tight turn, eighteen naked cowboys appeared out of nowhere and rushed the limousine, killing three of the escorts, wounding five and abducting Prince Harry. A national manhunt began, with FBI agents swarming across the Big Apple in a frantic attempt to locate the missing duke and the blue horse trailer that he had pulled into. After nearly forty hours of nothing, an anonymous person tipped off the federal agents, informing them of their suspicions that Grant MacDonald, the leader of a gay sex cult, was responsible for the abduction. Following this lead, the FBI discovered that MacDonald had published a series of manifestos expressing his desire to sodomize the Duke of Sussex. This, combined with a traffic camera sighting of the blue horse trailer in Sussex, Wyoming, on the road to MacDonald's Ram Ranch, was all that was needed for a search warrant to be issued.
FBI agents arrived at Ram Ranch at 1500 hours, November 28, 2017. Attempting to serve their warrant, the agents drove up the road to the complex's front gate. As they paused outside of the gate, a cultist appeared on the wall above them and fired an RPG at the lead vehicle. The resulting explosion killed three agents (Rob Hansen, Aaron Washington and Rachel Donovan) and injured five, sending the survivors fleeing back down the road. The FBI established a perimeter around the complex, sending several snipers to watch the entrances and exits of the compound. At 0300 on December 1, the FBI assaulted the complex. They scaled the outer wall, but were unable to reach the inner wall without alerting a sentry. The cultists opened fire, forcing the FBI to retreat with one dead (William Patel) and four wounded while killing five cultists and injuring a dozen. Two agents were unable to escape and were captured and disarmed by the cultists. Macdonald threatened to execute these agents, Carlos Silva and Anna Wiltshire, if the FBI did not withdraw.
Over the following week, the FBI and the cultists negotiated. One of the chief FBI conditions was the release of Silva and Wiltshire, as well as the Duke of the Sussex. MacDonald demanded national radio broadcast privileges, as he believed that all men in the United States would worship him if they heard his message, as well as the destruction of the London Bridge and an array of other bizarre demands. On 9 December, MacDonald ended negotiations, as he believed that the FBI was wasting his time. Over the next three days, FBI snipers killed four cultists and severely injured several others. Cultist counter-snipers then killed an FBI sniper (Bradford Pewell), which prompted the return the negotiating table. Sniping and counter-sniping continued, killing seven cultists.
The FBI and the cultists then entered into negotiations once again. On 22 December, MacDonald was allowed to broadcast from KDIC, with copies of his manifesto being run on national television. This was seen as a humiliation by the Kasich Administration, who were already dealing with the geopolitical ramifications of Sussex's abduction. On 25 December, a force of United States Marines arrived outside the complex. After a day of preparations, the final assault began at 0600 on 27 December. Five Black Hawk helicopters descended on the compound, landing in the courtyard and on the roof of the main building while dozens of FBI agents assaulted the walls from all directions. MacDonald and his followers fought on, being driven down into the tunnels beneath the building. Two marines, one federal agent and eighteen naked cowboys were killed. At 1026, Marines breached a chamber in an isolated section of the tunnel network, capturing MacDonald and two followers and freeing the hostages. However, four of the cultists were holed up in the lowest rank of the tunnels with several tons of tannerite, threatening to blow themselves up if MacDonald was not free. Government forces evacuated the complex, and after another half-day of negotiations via cell phone the cultists detonated their bombs. Ram Ranch exploded into a massive fireball, with shrapnel wounding several federal agents.
On 1 January 2018, the Duke of Sussex finally returned to the United Kingdom after a harrowing 32-day captivity.