Alternate Wikipedia Infoboxes V (Do Not Post Current Politics Here)

Just Some Futurama Write-Ups

Enjoy!

Robot Santa


Robot Santa Claus is a dangerous rogue robot. Based on the mythical Santa Claus found in the once-beloved Yuletide Mythos surrounding the annual holiday of X-Mas, the robot was manufactured by Mom’s Friendly Robot Company in 2801 to determine which Earthican children had been naughty and which had been nice that year, partially to boost Earthican morale after an unsuccessful war campaign earlier in the year, and also to increase the company’s sales during the X-mas Season. The robot was developed with paradox-proof software, the ability to perform over 50 mega-checks of his naughty-and-nice list per second, and a highly durable body to whether the conditions of high-speed travel across the planet Earth over the course of one single night.

At its unveiling at X-mas 2801, Robot Santa Claus became unstable “due to a programming error” that left the robot’s standards for being nice “too high, invariably judging everyone to be naughty;” as such, he viewed all Earthicans as being naughty, and began “punishing” them via killing them on sight [1]. A deadly attack on the planet ensued, leading hundreds dead, wounded and/or traumatized. Attempts by armed forces to stop the robot failed, but were intimidating enough for Robot Santa Claus to flee to the planet Neptune, as its native people closely resembled elves, the mythical Santa Claus’ helpers mentioned in the Yuletide Mythos. Since then, Robot Santa Claus has lived near Neptune’s North Pole at a Death Fortress overlooking the impoverished Neptunian village of Jolly Junction. While originally intended to be the primary location of toy production for Robot Santa Claus, the village has been in a state of total decay for over 200 years, the inhabitants struggling in squalor rule the robot’s ruthless wrath [2]. The D.O.O.P. has blamed the Neptunian planetary government, located at the planet’s South Pole, for these conditions.

After the robot’s first attack, Mom’s Friendly Robot Company placed all of the blame on the robot’s principle programmers. Federal Court later found most of the programmers guilty of Involuntary Terrorism. Sentenced to “life in community service” in 2802, they were all forced to become lifelong members of congress in order to properly serve the community. Since then, Mom’s Friendly Robot Company has successfully distanced themselves from any association with the jolly mechanical menace. However, conspiracy theorists still claim that the company can remotely turn off the robot, but will not do so, as his X-mas rampages benefit the company’s yearly sales of anti-Robot Santa Claus weapons and protection systems.

Every year since 2802, Earth citizens essentially enter a period of Total Lockdown to protect their loved ones from Robot Santa Claus’ annual attempt to “punish the naughty.” Hundreds of attempts to bring the robot to justice have been made over the years, and all have failed. Despite being a yearly threat to the well-being of Earth’s citizens, Robot Santa Claus assisted the planet’s population in its successful fight to reclaim Earth from The Scammers in the 3007 Battle for Earth [3]. After this action, however, Robot Santa Claus returned to his annual activities.

Robot Santa Clause is considered armed and dangerous. As such, if any group or individuals wish to attempt to destroy him, authorities advise that said attempters make funeral preparations for themselves beforehand.

Sources:
[1] Season 2, Episode 4: Xmas Story (1999) – Robot Santa Claus’ backstory is told from 9:14 to 9:42, and at 14:15 says “I perform over 50 mega-checks per second.”
[2] Season 3, Episode 3: A Tale of Two Santas (2001) – Robot Santa Claus’ Neptune fortress and Jolly Junction are shown in Act 1.
[3] Bender’s Big Score (2007) – part of the film’s climax.

Suicide Booths



Sources:
Season 1, Episode 1: Space Pilot 3000 (1999) – in Act 1, the booth states “Thank you for using Stop-N-Drop, America’s favorite suicide booth since 2008,” and there are only two Modes of Death visible, other possibly more are added later as suggested by a scene in The Beast With a Billion Backs.

Blernsball



Blernsball is an Earthican sport played between two opposing teams whom take turns blernsing and fielding. A successor to the archaic and rather backwards sport known as baseball, blernsball developed as a serious sport during the later half of the 28th century. It is currently incredibly popular on the North American continent of Earth.

The rules of blernsball are simple enough for idiot children and even Decapodians to understand and follow. First, the blernser (also known as a pitcher), standing at the home blern (or home base), sails the ball tethered to the field (next to the blernser) and with a traditional aluminum blernsball bat [1] the batter tries to hit the blern (alternatively called a base). If the batter then strikes (another word for hits) the ball and subsequently sails the ball into the blernshole in the center of the field’s main billboard, it triggers an automatic win, also known as a “grand slam blern” and is often followed by fireworks and Celebration Rodents [2]. If the batter sails the ball with enough force to break the tether, the batter’s team’s points are doubled. Unless the batter breaks the tether and sends the ball into space or orbit [2] – in that case, the batter’s team’s points are tripled. If the pitcher knocks out the batter with said pitcher’s pitch, the ball is called a “bean ball,” the action is called a “bean” or “beaning,” and the pitcher is called a “beaner” [6]. Anyway, the batter must at least hit the ball in order to get the chance to try to get a Home Run, which is when the batter becomes a runner (or a cycler, pending on the use of mutliball or not), and runs to the three bases surrounding the blernser mount pending on if he can use timing skills to determine if he has enough time to get run to each base (which are considered “safe zones” for the runner) before the ball is caught by a member of the opposing team. By the way, the blernser mount is in near the middle of the field. Right next to the blernser mount is another bernshole [1], not to be confused with the blernshole from before, which is in the field’s main billboard, not in the field itself like this hole. This hole, the blernshole of the field, unlocks “Multiball” [1] if the regular tethered ball goes into it. Multiball is when 24 balls are ejected at high sailing speed from pitching machines hidden under the fields (in less expensive games, benches players are forced to throw the multiballs regardless of the reason or reasons for why they are benched). The blernser, whom, again, is whichever player is at the home blerns, must try to sail as many of these multiballs as possible [1] for points. The batter during this part of the game then becomes a cycler, and rides a hovercycle over the blerns, causing them to explode [1]; in archaic times, this portion of the game was referred to as a “home run,” which is why the hovercycle is sometimtes called a homeruncycle. Then the relief blernsers ride a bullspider [1] from the bullpen to the blernser’s mount to showcase durability and bravery – twenty are given to his team if the blernser makes it to the blernser’s mount without harm. If multiball does not occur by the sixth inning (by the way, inning exist in this game, but since we all know what those are there is no need to describe them here), the game proceeds onward to the seventh inning grope [1], in which all players must finish the game while fending of several forms of harassment in order to promote control over one’s own body. Whichever has the highest number of points and the lowest number of casualties and injuries after this wins the game. If one team has more points but also more casualties and injuries, the game goes into Death Match overtime, where the last uninjured player is declared the victory. It is a very simple game to comprehend.

The history of blernsball is closely tied to America’s more traditional pastimes. Blernsball was created in the late 27th century as a “jazzed up” [3] version of baseball by R&D executives for ESPN107 in an effort to obtain more viewers and better ratings. Steroids became a mandatory part of professional blernsball playing [1] in 2965, because boosting the players boosted ratings. Integration was of serious concern during the early decades of the 28th century; gradually the green, orange, purple and Cheronite color barriers were broken [4]; the sport’s current species integration reached Level β in 2990. Its exclusion of robot players keeps the sport from reaching the maximum level Ǣ. Attempts have been made in the past and the current present to integrate robot players, such as Pitch-o-mat 5000, a modified howitzer for the New New York Mets in 2991, but all without any lasting headway. As such, the blernsball Robot Leagues (founded in 2837) remain; Wireless Joe Jackson is arguably the league’s most famous player [1]. Gender integration took longer to start; the first female players of “major league”-level blernsball did not arrive until 3002 via Taranga Leela of the New New York Mets and Jackie Anderson of the Boston Poindexters [5]. In 3011, however, the sport obtain the the maximum level Ǣ in gender integration thanks to the success of early female blernser Jackie Anderson during the 3000s decade.

Sources:
[1] Season 1, Episode 5: Fear of a Bot Planet (1999) – these blernsball game elements are seen/mentioned from 0:46 to 3:50.
[2] Season 3, Episode 16: A Leela of Her Own (2002) – these blernsball game elements are seen at the 19:12 to 19:22 mark. Also, the “first ball hit into orbit” is seen on display at the Blernsball Hall of Fame at 13:07 mark.
[3] Ibid. – Leela states that “baseball was…boring…so they jazzed it up” from 1:01 to 1:10.
[4] Ibid. – Figures of the “players that broke the various color barriers” are on display at the 13:17 mark; they are a green alien, an orange alien, a green alien, and a black-and-white Cheron alien from Star Trek.
[5] Ibid. – this is the episode’s A-plot; Leela becomes “the first woman to ever play major-league blernsball” at the 6:32 mark.
[6] Ibid. – the term “bean” is repeatedly used throughout the episode to refer to hitting a blernsball into a player at bat.

Mars University



Mars University is a private Ivy League research university on the Milky Way planet of Mars. Established in 2636 by a horse-riding alien from Dallas, Texas, Earth, and named after fictional character Veronica Mars, the institution is one of the most prestigious universities in Solar System 329 (the human one).

The history of Mars University runs parallel, then perpendicular, then parallel again, to the history of the human colonization of the planet. It was founded in 2636 by an Earth-raised alien to educate the older offspring of the planet’s terraformation workers. The workers “planted traditional college foliage – ivy, trees, hemp – [and] soon the whole planet was terraformed,” which is why the campus is surrounded by jungles full of lush wildlife; also nearby the campus is a river with a steep waterfall. During the early 2700s, while the Mars people went through a period of voluntary isolationism, the university expanded its fields of study and reformed its scholarships system, along with promoting a social policy meant to be more accepting of non-Marsican applicants and enrollers. Over the course of this time, high-profile scientists (and the heads of high-profile scientists) whom had worked on planet Mars’ terraformation process became professors at Mars U, growing the university’s reputation. After Mars’ independence in the 2800s, many universities were opened on other parts of the planet as alternatives to Mars U, which by then had become too expensive for the average Marsican high school student. Currently, Mars U is working alongside the Mars government and the prestigious Wong family to learn how to maximize the usage of Mars’ natural resources.

Mars University is fully integrated, accepting human, alien and robot students, and sustains a large staff of accomplished professors and experienced deans. Campus grounds include fraternities, sororities, dorms, administration buildings, study halls, lecture halls, auditoriums, a Versatility Stadium, and eatery establishments. While the university offers a wide variety of topics of study in respective academic units, such as history, robotics, medicine, business and sports, the main focus for the university is science. Many of the universe’s greatest scientific minds have been staff members and/or former students of this institution, including Ogden Wernstrom, Hubert J. Farnsworth, and Stephen Hawking’s Head.

The prestigious Wong family have much influence over the university due to the funds the Wongs give them. For instance, Wong Library (the library boasting the largest collection of literature in the Western Universe – two full CDs (compact drives), one for fiction and one for nonfiction) is named after the Wong family. Furthermore, the cost of attendance can depend on the generosity of financial backers such as the Wong family, making acceptance into this institution be more depending on timing than for other universities in the Earthican-dominant parts of the Universe. This also limits the reserves of the universities financial aid programs, as evidenced by its poor-quality housing for low-income students.

Despite its financial spontaneity, Mars U has made numerous contributions to science. Furthermore, many academic journals have consistently ranked Mars U as among the best universities in the Earthican-dominated Solar System, and among the top 100 in the entire Milky Way for the past 150 years.

Sources:
Season 1, Episode 11: Mars University (1999) – information from the series mainly comes from this episode. The motto “knowledge brings fear” appears at the 1:11 mark, and Leela describes how the university was established during the terraforming period soon afterwards.
Season 7, Episode 21: Assie Come Home (2013) – the motto “a giant pulsating mind is a terrible thing to waste” in noticed halfway through the episode.

Richard Nixon



Richard Nixon(’s Head) is an Earthican politician and the current President of Earth. Nixon is the third head-in-a-jar President of Earth since the position was established in 2576, and is the Earth’s longest-reigning President. His rule has seen the expulsion invading alien forces from Earth in 3003, 3007 and 3010. Nixon(’s Head) is currently (2013) pushing an anti-alien immigrants agenda, the effects of which are still to be determined.

Life Before Being a Head In A Jar
Nixon was born in 1913 on Earth in the United States, now part of the North American District but in 1913 in independent nation. Nixon entered politics and served as Vice President of the US from 1953 to 1961 before election to the Presidency in 1968. According to Nixon, “a Communist frame-job conspiracy” known simply as “Watergate” lead to him resigning from that office in 1974 under the threat of impeachment; the heads of US Presidents Carter and Ford, though, offer contrasting descriptions. Nixon was then apparently interviewed by the mythical winter being Jack Frost, and then lived a quiet retirement until his death in 1994.

Head Resurrection
After decades of contemplation, Earthican scientists decided to resurrected Nixon’s head in 2294, a little over 300 years after his death. Nixon DNA (from the year 1974), a necessary part of the Human Head Resurrection Process (for Nixon’s head, of course), was incomplete, and had to be spliced with wolf DNA during said process, resulting in Nixon’s Head making occasional howling noises. Upon his head’s resurrection, Nixon(’s Head) sought to “set the record straight” concerning his legacy, only to find most Earthicans had long forgotten about him. Instead, Nixon spent the next 500 years at the National Head Museum, discussing politics and other topics with famous historical figures, from which he allegedly learned much about “life in our past and in this future”.

First Time as President of Earth
Nixon(’s Head) was restless being cooped up in the National Head Museum, and soon began weighing in on modern political issues during the 2400s. Noticing a social undercurrent of anti-robot resentment in light of President John Quincy Adding Machine’s eight years of intermittent killing sprees [1], Nixon(’s Head) ran for President of Earth on a pro-human platform in 2468. He was elected twice (the second time, winning over fellow head-in-a-jar Rob Reiner [2]), and served from 2469-2477. During this time, the former 20th-century politician struggled to adapt to 25th-century politics; he failed to abolish presidential term limits, and left office with poor approval ratings. Some historian believe that Nixon is to blame from the rise of Fxjkhr [3], whom was elected Earth President in 2876 served for eight highly controversial years. After leaving office, Nixon(’s Head) travelled the galaxy until economic disasters in the 26th century caused him to lose much of the wealth he had accumulated after the Presidency, and he again retired to the National Head Museum.

Second/Current Time as President of Earth
Nixon lamented being just a head in a jar, stating that it is “a sad and lonely life” [4]. In November 2999, Earth President William McNeal was assassinated by Omicron Persei 8 ruler Lrrr during a misunderstanding, and the bland Vice President Jack Johnson of the Tastycratic party succeeded him into office [5]. In the Earth Presidential election of 3000, Johnson was challenged by his identical clone, John Jackson of the Fingerlican party. Nixon(’s Head) disapproved of both candidates; just 12 days before the Earth Presidential Election of 3000 [7], Nixon announced he would attempt a political comeback. After a discussion with an unidentified robot and former Earth President (2841-2849) Jesse “The Head” Ventura [6], Nixon announced “I’m throwing my head into the ring. I’m announcing my candidacy for the Presidency of Earth.” While the Earth Constitution of 2575 states that “no body can be elected President more than twice,” Nixon(’s Head) found a loophole for eligibility by running with a new body, a recently-purchased headless robot Bending Unit [8]. During the campaign, Nixon renounced his previous anti-robot Presidency, saying he had “evolved” on the issue, which really boosted his approval numbers among Mid-Evolution Alien voters. Nixon’s pledge to save the robots stuck in a recently-collapsed titanium mine also helped him win over robot voters [9]. For running mate, Nixon chose the headless-but-living resuscitated body Spiro Agnew, whom served as Richard Nixon’s Vice-President all the way back in the 20th century. In the final debate (several had already occurred by the time Nixon entered the race), which was held one week before the election, Nixon proclaimed that “Nixon is pro war and pro family,” but did a relatively poor job answering questions despite the moderator controversially being a “personal friend” of Richard Nixon(’s Head) [10]. Nixon also tried to appeal to the liberal voters, stating on live TV, “I’m meeting you halfway, you stupid hippies” by playing an electric guitar [6].

The day before the election, pinning his election hopes on appealing the robot voters that cared more about his “robot charisma,” Nixon obtained a much larger robot body. It was assumed that Nixon would lose the race going into election night in light of the historically high voter turnout of 6% [11]. However, in an upset, the robot vote carried him to victory over the Jackson and Johnson campaigns, winning 33.33%+1 of the vote (entirely from the robot voting bloc) against Johnson’s 33.33% of the vote and Jackson’s 33.22% of the vote, with all remaining candidates (mainly the respective nominees of the Organismistic “One Cell, One Vote” Party, the Green party, the Brain Slug Party, the Hemp Party, the Bull Space Moose Party, the Voter Apathy Party) making up the remaining 0.11% of the vote [12]. Nixon’s victory by one vote is tied with John Quincy Adding Machine’s 2460 victory as the narrowest in Earth Presidential history [11].

Nixon(’s Head) began his third term in 3001; immediately, he declared war on Spheron One [13]. Nixon accompanied the troops to the planet alongside his Secretary of State (from 3001 to 3009), the Head of Henry Kissinger, whom lead the peace talks that lead to the planet becoming a territory of Earth. Throughout 3002, Nixon dealt with supporting Earth’s D.O.O.P. allies in wars overgalaxies, along with droughts and three attempts by liberal politicians to impeach Nixon for numerous scandals that were largely ignored by the Earthican people, even a substantiated claim that Nixon suffered from numerous mental health issues [14][15]. An incident during the December 3002 Freedom Day festivities lead to a Earth Supreme Court ruling that eating the Earthican flag was not an expression of freedom; this in turn sparked an interplanetary incident culminating in the Decapodian Invasion of 3003. The Decapodians successfully took control of the Earth capital of Washington DC in April 2003, and Nixon served as the head of Earth’s government while it was in exile until the Decapodians were finally vanquished one week later. One week after this, the Supreme Court reversed their prior ruling [16]. Capitalizing on the defeat of Spheron 1 and the Decapodians, Nixon(’s Head) approved the invasion of the planet Tarantulon VI in June 2003. The military endeavor produced “one trillion dollars in silk and treasure” from the defeated Spiderian natives. In an uncharacteristically generous move possibly meant to boost morale for his re-election bid, Nixon spent the surplus on dispensing a government refund of ED$300 to every adult Earthican citizen [17]. Despite the Spiderian spoils being destroyed in a fire shortly after the rebates were dispensed, the massive monetary move was popular enough to carry Nixon’s head to victory in his 3004 re-election bid.

At the beginning of his second term, Nixon again pushed to abolish Presidential term limits. Being more politically experienced this time around, though, Nixon saw the term limit law abolished in 3006, allowing him to legally announce a run for an unprecedented third consecutive term in the 3008 election in early 3007. In November 3007, the Earthican government was scammed out of ownership of the planet, leading to said government relocating to the politically unorganized planet Neptune. Nixon(’s Head) stayed on as head of state, and played a “crucial” role in the 3007 Battle for Earth, in which a ragtag assembly of Earthican loyalist ships defeated the Scammers and regained control of Earth [18]. Nixon was president during the Yivo Anomaly Interuniversal Incident of June 3008 [19].

Apart from various discussions concerning Yivo, whom became less and less relevant surprisingly quickly as time wore on and people returned to their daily lives, the 3008 election was very uneventful. On the campaign trail, Nixon(’s Head) met with lobbyists from the National Ray-Gun Association, but notably denounced the People For The Ethical Treatment of Humans as “a Communist front” [20]. Despite this, the apathetic Tastycratic candidate lost to Nixon in a near-landslide. In 3009, tragedy struck the administration when Earth’s Vice-President, the Headless Body of Agnew, was killed in a freak golf cart incident [21]. He was replaced by Secretary of Defense Dick Cheney(’s Head) until the Headless Clone of Agnew was approved for the position by Earth Congress [22][23]. In 3010, the Earth Army surrendered to the ruler of planet Omicron Persei 8 after mistakingly believing that he had successfully conquered the planet Earth. Nixon, also misunderstood the complicated situation, and resigned from office along with the rest of his administration, placing Lrrr in charge of Earth government. Lrrr ultimately signed a Retroactive Unfiring Decree alongside his letter of Resignation, returning Nixon to the Earth Presidency [24]. In 3011, Nixon “passed a law that says ex-cons can vote again, as long as they vote for Nixon,” which was highly controversial; congress failed to prevent its passing due to political infighting [28].

Last year (3012), Nixon won re-election unopposed, after his main opponent, the Thundercratic nominee Mr. Greenland, dropped out of the race over a scandal [25]. A few months ago, Earth’s Vice-President, the Headless Clone of Agnew, was assassinated by an alien from Omicron Persei 8; since the assassin was under adult age on both Earth and his home planet, though, no charges were pressed [26]. The current Vice-President of Earth, the Last Clone of Agnew, was since assumed the office [27]. Earth President Richard Nixon(’s Head) is now in the early steps of building a massive fence on the southern side of the Earthican-dominant Solar System in an effort to keep out unwanted illegal space aliens [28]. Opponents of this development believe it will lead to dire consequences, but so far, there seems to be no way to impede Nixon’s plans.

Sources:
[1] Season 2, Episode 3: A Head in the Polls (12 December 1999) – Bender and Farnsworth explain that John Quincy Adding Machine “promised not to go on a killing spree [but it was] more than he could deliver” at the 2:50 mark.
[2] Ibid. – Rob Reiner is visible is a closet for unsuccessful Presidential candidates near the 11-minute mark, suggest he once unsuccessfully mounted a Presidential bid.
[3] Ibid. – A statue labeled “FXJKHR: 60th President” is briefly seen at the 16:11 mark.
[4] Ibid. – Nixon remarks that being just a head is “a sad and lonely life” at the 11:23 mark.
[5] Season 1, Episode 12: When Aliens Attack (7 November 1999) – President McNeal is killed in this episode.
[6] Season 2, Episode 3: A Head in the Polls (12 December 1999) – Jesse “The Head” Ventura is seen in the Hall of Presidents at the 9:46 mark, implying that at some point in the future, his head serves as President of Earth. Nixon plays the guitar at the 13:24 mark.
[7] Ibid. – there being “two weeks left in the campaign” is mentioned at the beginning of the episode.
[8] Ibid. – Nixon announces “I’m throwing my head into the ring. I’m announcing my candidacy for the Presidency of Earth” beginning at the 12:46 mark, and a reporter replies “the constitution clearly states that no body can be elected President more than twice;” and so, it is not explicitly the United States Constitution, meaning that Nixon must have been twice-elected President of Earth at previous time. The suspicion that the reporter’s comment does not refer to the US Constitution is later confirmed in Season 4, Episode 5: A Taste of Freedom (22 December 2002), when Leela mentions “the Earth constitution” at the 7:24 mark.
[9] Ibid. – Beginning at the 5:16 mark, Linda the news reporter states that “disaster struck on Saturn’s moon of Titan today when a titanium mine collapsed, trapping 1,000 robot workers. …Unless something is done quickly, the trapped robots will be dead within 300 years.”
[10] Ibid. – Morbo calls Nixon a “personal friend” near the 14:14 mark. At the 14:24 mark, Nixon remarks that “Nixon is pro war and pro family.” Starting at the 15:18 mark, Nixon’s performance was seemingly abysmal as he comments “they ate me alive out there,” but his charismatic robot body lead to support from robot voters.
[11] Ibid. – Linda comments at the 19:34 mark that “the sheer drama of this election has driven voter turnout to its highest level in centuries – six percent,” and Farnsworth comments that Nixon “won by a single vote” at the 20:16 mark.
[12] Ibid. – All of these political parties are seen during the first five minutes of the episode.
[13] Season 2, Episode 17: War is the H-Word (26 November 2000) – Nixon begins a war with Planet Spheron 1 near the two-minute mark, and the planet is described as “a desolate, ugly little planet with absolutely no natural resources or strategic value…we know nothing about [the enemy’s] language, their history or what they look like” at the 3:38 mark. Additionally, beginning at the 2:23 mark, Zap comments that “the Army has instituted a men-only policy…after a series of deadly blunders caused by distracting low-cut [uniforms] and lots of harmless pinching, the Army decided women weren’t fit for service.”
[14] Season 4, Episode 5: A Taste of Freedom (22 December 2002) – Nixon says “our planet has been through so much this past year. Wars, droughts, impeachments” at the 4:25 mark.
[15] Season 2, Episode 3: A Head in the Polls (12 December 1999) – From 18:24 to 18:38, Nixon admits that “I’ve become bitter, and let’s face it, crazy over the years, and once I’m swept into office, I’ll sell our children’s organs to zoos for meat, and I’ll go into people’s houses at night and wreck up the place!” Suggesting that his mental health issues (paranoia, etc.) from OTL have only worsened in the future.
[16] Season 4, Episode 5: A Taste of Freedom (22 December 2002) – the plot of this episode.
[17] Season 4, Episode 16: Three Hundred Big Boys (15 June 2003) – described at the very beginning of the episode.
[18] Bender’s Big Score (27 November 2007) – part of climactic part of the film.
[19] The Beast with a Billion Backs (24 June 2008) – part of the main plotline features Nixon.
[20] Season 2, Episode 3: A Head in the Polls (12 December 1999) – both of these organizations are seen around the 4-minute mark.
[21] Into the Wild Green Yonder (24 February 2009) – Agnew gets killed at around the 25-minute mark; VP Agnew’s first appearance in the series in Season 4, Episode 8: Crimes of the Hot (10 November 2002).
[22] Season 6, Episode 13: The Futurama Holiday Spectacular (21 November 2010) – Dick Cheney’s Head is briefly seen in the position of V.P. in Act 1.
[23] Season 7, Episode 2: A Farewell to Arms (20 June 2012) – first appearance of Vice-President Headless Clone of Agnew
[24] Season 6, Episode 11: Lrrreconcilable Ndndifferences (26 August 2010) – Lrrr inadvertently taking over Earth the main part of Act Three of this episode.
[25] Season 7, Episode 3: Decision 3012 (27 June 2012) – At the 6:44 mark, the name “Thundercrat” can be seen at the political convention held at Madison Cuba Garden in New New York City.
[26] Season 7, Episode 16: T.: The Terrestrial (26 June 2013) – The Headless Clone of Agnew is killed by Jrrr near the beginning of this episode, and nothing happens as a result of this; however, it also could be possible that killing a clone is not a crime if they are considered to be “real” people.
[27] Season 7, Episode 19: Saturday Morning Fun Pit (17 July 2013) – The Last Clone of Agnew is first seen and named in this episode
[28] Season 7, Episode 3: Decision 3012 (27 June 2012) – At Nixon’s re-election announcement, he complains of “illegal space aliens taking our good Earth jobs…if I’m re-elected, I promise to build a really big…fence across the southern border of our solar system. And furthermore…I promise to cut taxes for the rich, and use the poor as a cheap source of teeth for aquarium gravel.” Bender mentions at the 2:48 mark that “Nixon passed a law that says ex-cons can vote again, as long as they vote for Nixon.”

This AH.com Post is Brought to You by...Hypnotoad!

... Like this. Like this. Like this. Like this. ...
 
Last edited:
Since I have timeline ADD, here're a couple from another "Broken or shrunken America" scenario, in which the Articles of Confederation are never replaced by the constitution and ultimately lead to a U.S. that is unable to stay together. I swear I'll stick to this one.

The New York legislative election, 2008, was held on March 14, 2008 to elect 257 members of the New York House of Representatives. Of the 257, 217 were elected directly on a seat-by-seat basis, while 40 seats were assigned as list seats, with the electorate of each of the country's four states voting for 10 members to represent each state as a whole. The election yielded a victory for the Progressive Party and its associated Alliance Party, with the cooperative gaining nearly 14 whole points in the popular vote. The Progressives picked up 68 seats, while the Liberals lost 63, marking the largest swing in seats for any party since Compromise's pickup of 113 seats in 1960. Additionally, this election was marked by high turnout, with 76 percent of the electorate voting; the highest since 1988.

Fueled by a near collapse of the Progressive Party in 2004, when all major parties except the Progressives gained in seats and votes, and when the party was unable to put up a meaningful showing for the presidential race, Bob Casey Jr., the party's new leader, organized all major party funds towards campaigning. The Progressives' effort to rebuild an image was extremely successful, relying mainly on the dissatisfaction towards then president George Pataki's lackluster second term, along with the division of the Liberal party and its legislative failures under the McCaughey ministry.

The McCaughey campaign made efforts to undermine the Progressives by making attacks on perceived flaws in Casey's character, whereas Casey focused on the state of the economy and the recent recession that had started in 2007. Additionally, media coverage of trips made by various Pataki cabinet members to New England, a theocratic dictatorship, for "religious reasons," served to severely hurt the image of the incumbent government.

The two minor parties with representation in the house,
Action! and the Whigs, suffered minor setbacks due to the Progressive landslide. Action!'s lack of a single leader is believed to have had a negative impact on their chances, and the party returned to individual-leadership in 2014 with the ascension of David Hacker to the post. Hacker would go on to be Action!'s presidential nominee in 2016, marking the first time the party ran a candidate for the office.




The Progressive Party of New York, sometime abbreviated as NYPP, is a social-democratic and progressive political party in New York, and is the largest political association of the New York centre-left. It is one of the country's two largest parties, along with the Liberals, and currently controls the national assembly and the presidency. The party was founded in 1900 as a merger of the New York Liberal Labor Party (PLPNY), Union for Northeastern Labor (UNEL), and the Socialist Group for Labor (SGL). The party came into being under its current name under the leadership of Theodore Roosevelt, a member of the PLPNY's moderate wing, and Thomas E. Watson, an activist who fled to New York due to violence in his home country of Georgia (now the USAS).

The party won its first presidential election in 1908, followed by victory in the House of Representatives in 1912. As of 2018, nine presidents and 13 prime ministers have come from the Progressive Party. The Progressives are currently led by representative Luke Bronin in the House, with Bob Casey Jr., a member of the party, serving as president of New York since 2016.

The party's program is one of social liberalism and economic interventionism, with a focus on maintaining a welfare state and promoting egalitarianism in all governmental and societal functions. While the Progressives operate on a strictly secular basis, a large number of Catholics identify with the party; this mainly stems from persecution of non-protestants in New England beginning in 1938, which prompted the majority of the county's Catholics to flee to either New York or Midatlantica. The Catholics who identify as socially liberal throughout the northeast of North America tend to be known as "New York Catholics" because of this.

The NYPP is a member of the centre-left American Socialist and Democratic League (ASDL) group in the American Parliament, and its members make up 22 of New York's 68 American Parliament seats.

 
Last edited:
I said I had a TL coming about mid-century American politics, but as it turns out, this is more fun.

Americanism - East African Union.png
Americanism - Joseph Mosi.png


While the quality of life across Sub-Saharan Africa has improved considerably in the past half-century, no place has changed so much as the East African Union. What was once a collection of five developing countries situated along the Swahili Coast and around Lake Victoria is now a wealthy and prosperous federation sporting a GDP of over $9 trillion and vibrant bioengineering and aerospace industries.

This growth has largely been built on the back of the aerospace industry. As the costs of shipping people and materials into orbit plummeted, the value of cheap, easy-to-produce rockets rose. As it turned out, East Africa was a prime place to manufacture those rockets, as not only were labor and capital relatively cheap in the country, it was also a prime place for spaceflight launches due to its position along the Equator. Chinese, American and European money flooded into the EAU, which was then reinvested into improving domestic infrastructure and expanding into new industries. The EAU became a pioneer in the rapidly-growing bioengineering field, as new methods were developed that made genome editing safer, easier and cheaper. Dubil, a multinational corporation that specializes in genome editing services, is East African in origin and is headquartered in Dar es Salaam.

Much of the credit for this wise use of investment funds goes to the government of then-Prime Minister Joseph Mosi. Mosi, the son of a taxicab driver in Kampala, entered politics at a young age when he served in Parliament in his native Uganda. Shortly after the formation of the EAU, he helped found the Citizen’s Alliance, a social democratic political party that advocated for the formation of homegrown industries that extended beyond mere resource extraction. Mosi was elected to Congress and worked his way up to the office of prime minister, where he oversaw much of the country’s economic boom. His premiership also saw an expansion of social services, more stringent labor protections and wealth redistribution measures that attempted to create more opportunities for the country’s poor. While wealth inequality and corruption remained a serious problem, the efforts of the Mosi government averted the worst and allowed the EAU to become a developed country.

Today, East Africa largely owns its own aerospace infrastructure, having been acquired by local companies subsidized by the government. These companies now provide valuable services to offworld colonies, most especially supplying food, water and other essentials to the burgeoning mining colonies on Mars and beyond. Diplomatically, the traditionally China-leaning East African government now looks more toward the United States as a security and trade partner, especially recently under the premiership of Nia Hassan Shauri. Problems with wealth inequality, poverty, political radicalization and corruption persist, but nonetheless the future seems bright for the federation.

Of course, nothing is guaranteed in this uncertain world.

A Strange, as-of-yet Unnamed Vision of the Future
 
@GBehm New York controls the populous half of New England, but does not use the latter name?
The majority of the country’s population lives in New York. On top of this, one explanation could be that TTL’s New England seceded from the United States first, and rather than having two NEs, New York was named as such?
 
I'm redoing this for what feels like the millionth time but I really want this to be a thing in the real world cmon dudes



Octopus Pie is an American adult animated sitcom created by Meredith Gran. The series, based on the webcomic of the same name, follows two 20-something burnouts living in New York City; embittered grocery store clerk Eve Ning (voiced by Aparna Nancherla) and Hannah Thompson (voiced by Ilana Glazer), her free-spirited stoner roommate. The supporting cast includes Arj Barker (as Will), Leigh Daniel Avidan (as Marek) and Amy Schumer (as Marigold), and has hosted a varied selection of guest stars, including Steve Agee (as Puget Sean), Cameron Esposito (as Jane), Sakina Jaffrey (as Mrs. Ning), Marina Franklin (as America Jones) and Kumail Nanjiani (as Mor Ning). The series' first season premiered on August 22, 2014, on Netflix. Despite giving mixed reviews upon its debut, with some confused why the series was not broadcast on a platform more suitable (such as Adult Swim), critics were notably more positive towards the second half of the first season, before acclaiming the subsequent seasons. The series is noted for its character-based narrative, mixing drama and light humour that sometimes borders on the surreal.
 
The majority of the country’s population lives in New York. On top of this, one explanation could be that TTL’s New England seceded from the United States first, and rather than having two NEs, New York was named as such?
I don't think you could build a viable New England political entity out of Maine, Vermont, and New Hampshire without the involvement of Massachusetts and/or New York, which, admittedly, is not frequently regarded as part of New England.
 
Since I have timeline ADD, here're a couple from another "Broken or shrunken America" scenario, in which the Articles of Confederation are never replaced by the constitution and ultimately lead to a U.S. that is unable to stay together. I swear I'll stick to this one.
Why isn't Vermont part of NY?
 
I don't think you could build a viable New England political entity out of Maine, Vermont, and New Hampshire without the involvement of Massachusetts and/or New York, which, admittedly, is not frequently regarded as part of New England.
Upper New England was, at this time, so culturally different from New York and Massachusetts that having them be part of New England would kind of defeat the purpose of the timeline, which is to divide the US into reasonably sized cultural regions.
 
Upper New England was, at this time, so culturally different from New York and Massachusetts that having them be part of New England would kind of defeat the purpose of the timeline, which is to divide the US into reasonably sized cultural regions.
But there are enough internal differences in northern New England as to render them unlikely to be united without the rest of the region.
 
*Something I plan to make into a multi-part wiki-box series.

Federal States of America Political Partys

In The Great American Divide


The Social Labor Party is one of the major political parties of the Federal States of America and forms a modern staple of leadership, splitting the divide mainly with its rival, the Popular Front. Formed in 1919, it was in response to the increasing anti-socialist paranoia participated by the majority of Americans in the Red Scare, itself in response to the post-Great War recession experienced by most major world powers. Formed by the likes of former Left Wing Intellectual leaders including Eugene Debs, Victor Berger, and Bill Haywood, on June 15, 1919, they were joined in a common cause of Socialism and Anti-Reactionarism which they viewed as the antidote to the common 'right-wing wave' resulted from the recession. The new 'Socialist Labor Party' would come to absorb both the Socialist and now rump Populist parties and became the main left-wing force following the defection of key progressive party era politicians to the new coalition going into the 1920s, which coincidently moderated it more to social justice rather than true socialism. And with key Republican figures like La Follette and Johnson joining the rank and file of the new party; the Republican party itself suffered and the split resulted in the continued democratic party dominance in 1924 under John Davis. Yet the Social Laborists made a surprisingly third party finish winning California, Wisconsin, Montana, Washington, North Dakota, and Michigan under Senator La Follette himself. Davis policies, however, were disastrous to the economy and the appointment of Andrew Mellon to the Treasury Secretary ended whatever boom the early 1920s brought to US financial health. 1927 brought a huge crash to the economy in what would later be called 'Black Thursday'.

The Republicans were viewed as the main benefactors of this democratic collapse, but instead, their nomination of Hebert Hoover, who was himself a laissez-faire minded 'administrational' progressive, brought concerns that he was to close to the policies of Davis. The 1928 Election instead was a major landslide for SL nominee George W. Norris of Nebraska who pushed the Republicans to electoral oblivion in third place. Interestingly, Norris would become the oldest president up to that day entering his 70s during his presidency. The party would collapse within 5 years and split between SL and the Democrats mainly. Norris would go on to usher in great progressive reform in his 2 terms in a package known as the 'Fair Deal' and bring great regulation to the banking industry and create a commonplace welfare system to which his opponents cried socialism. All, of course, under the work of SL supermajorities in both the House and Senate. He was begged to run for a fourth term in 1944 but he was entering his 80s. He would retire peacefully and die at age 81. His successor was his vice president Burton Wheeler who faced some stiff competition in Wendell Wilkie during the 1944 contest but won out in the end. Though with narrowed congressional control, Wheeler continued on with the reforms, most notably continuing the policy of American isolation towards the Wars in Europe and the Pacific. Wheeler also expanded upon many major social programs expanding the system of Social Security set up by Norris and helping set up a Federally Insured Healthcare service (predecessor to Americare). He would only, however, become a one-term president, being ousted by the more moderate Alf Landon who himself would preserve and 'cut the fat' from the Norris-Wheeler welfare state.

A two-party system would occur between Social Labor and the Popular Front under relatively obscure presidents including John Kennedy of Social Labor and George Wallace of the Democrats. Yet the 1960s brought a renewed worsening of economic news with a rapid rise in inflation. Meanwhile racial riots and the so-called 'culture war' hit a peak. In 1965, the Second Great Depression hit, resulting in a complete collapse in the Stock Market, and whose causes are still debated to this day. This was combined with a radical takeover of the Social Labor party, sometimes by force, resulting in a coup of power shifting to true Socialists, the first time since the party's founding. Bill Epton led this insurgency and surprisingly won due to the depression. Becoming the first Black President, though the last president of the United States. Meanwhile, fears of a Communist coup came to the truth when he supplanted top military officials with those of his own ideology, announcing on the ill-fated television screen that he was 'restoring real democracy' to the American government, reducing America to little more than a Socialist-led state. News of the Army removing Epton meanwhile came ill-fated as well by promises of mass benefits to both army officers and the regular citizens, and a 'true utopia', along with the top branches of the military following Eptons orders broke the military apart. The average citizen, however, didn't take this news lightly. State government after State government refused to accept this, the average citizen rising up in what would become the Second American Revolution. The Jim Crow South was the first to do so and established a confederation ranging from Texas to North Carolina under the banner of the 'Democratic Union of States'.

They were followed by a breakoff in the west and one in the north. 7 years of bloodshed would result, including a massive black uprising in the southern states leading to massacres still being discussed to this day. Eventually, the Epton Government was able to find a place in the Northern 'Yankee' states and established the Peoples Republic of America in September 1977. His government would last for 10 more years, himself establishing a style of dictatorial rule, beginning a silencing of political opposition, and establishing an 'Anti Racist, Pro-Worker' republic. The only in the world he said. Epton would be gunned down in 1987 and would be replaced by a provisional government, the Federal States of America being formed in its places after talks of unification of the American states failing entering the 1980s. The current political system was thus opted, still used to this day, the Social Labor Party returning to Social Justice Progressivism and its revolutionary leaders being either killed or imprisoned. The current head-premier is a testament to that fact, Richard Cordray.

The Popular Front, short for the Popular Front for a Fair America, is a major political party within the Federal States of America and forms the main opposition compared to Social Labor. It was formed on March 1st, 1932 from members of disillusioned Republican party members who refused to join either SL or Democratic parties. Such originators including Robert Taft, Vandenberg, and even showed coalition with Southern Conservatives by Carter Glass being there. They pronounced the formation of the Popular Conservatives. Yet they were stuck in the South and Mountainous West, unable to gain power. Thus they remained a third party with the Democrats and Social Laborists holding power from 1932 to 1968. During the Revolution, they were formed as the main political party that supported the overthrow of Epton, and thus would find a following, and later base of supporters in the Democratic Union of States and Western Union.

However, when the Federal States were formed, the Popular Front was banned, as with all political parties. They, however, remained at the forefront of resistance against the Socialist Government and were key in the 1987 transfer of power following his death. In 1988 they were officially branched as the Popular Front, positioning themselves as both business-friendly, supporters of the Welfare State and AmeriCare, while also portraying themselves as the main harboring of traditionalism and conservatives. They thus held power in the new country against the discredited Social Labor up until Senator Richard Cordray was finally able to break the deadlock.

The Coalition for Greater Freedom is a newcomer to Federal politics having been formed in 1975 as an underground organization mainly controlled by Anti-Epton New Leftists and former New Democracy-Progressive Party members. Following the legalization of the other political parties, they grew in popularity as the main opposition to the new, as well, Popular Front, this time from its left, is the only major party to host a significant social liberal focus. Ralph Nader thus became the first and only CGF Head-Premier. During his tenure in which he helped establish much of the 21st-century welfare programs, we know today. But with the rise of Social Labor again, it has suffered, even under charismatic Barack Obama of Wisconsin. Today, they are mainly a rump party yet they still have a significant showing in many of the Federal State territories, on the back of their anti-colonialist attitudes.











The Great American Divide
-
The Major Political Parties of the Federal States of America
 
Top