Alternate Wikipedia Infoboxes IV (Do not post Current Politics Here)
- Thread starter Glide08
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This is what basically all legislatures were like at the time, to be clear (aside from the liberum veto part) - it's why, for instance, a term of the Westminster Parliament is referred to as "a parliament".
WARNING: This entire infobox is a reference to Redwall.
The Portuguese killer rat is a black rat strain (Rattus rattus) originally created by Portuguese scientists in order to study animal intelligence and hostility in animals. Over time, the rat became a very popular breed for finding drugs in airports, disarming bombs during terrorist hostage situations and executing political dissidents, and so has spread out to cities of Western Europe and the East Coast of North America, becoming a notorious pest thanks to the characteristics of this breed. Breeders and zoologists have noted the Portuguese killer rat's prospensity for creating pseudo-organized groups (that often become multi-species) in order to attack larger animals, their long tails (usually 30–32 cm in length) and great developmental potential, as well as its high intelligence and violence.
The Portuguese killer rat is a black rat strain (Rattus rattus) originally created by Portuguese scientists in order to study animal intelligence and hostility in animals. Over time, the rat became a very popular breed for finding drugs in airports, disarming bombs during terrorist hostage situations and executing political dissidents, and so has spread out to cities of Western Europe and the East Coast of North America, becoming a notorious pest thanks to the characteristics of this breed. Breeders and zoologists have noted the Portuguese killer rat's prospensity for creating pseudo-organized groups (that often become multi-species) in order to attack larger animals, their long tails (usually 30–32 cm in length) and great developmental potential, as well as its high intelligence and violence.
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You should probably put something in about their having unusually long tails.WARNING: This entire infobox is a reference to Redwall.
The Portuguese killer rat is a black rat strain (Rattus rattus) originally created by Portuguese scientists in order to study animal intelligence and hostility in animals. Over time, the rat became a very popular breed for finding drugs in airports, disarming bombs during terrorist hostage situations and executing political dissidents, and so has spread out to cities of Western Europe and the East Coast of North America, becoming a notorious pest thanks to the characteristics of this breed. Breeders and zoologists have noted the Portuguese killer rat's prospensity for creating pseudo-organized groups (that often become multi-species) in order to attack larger animals and great developmental potential, as well as its high intelligence and violence.
Partially inspired by an FH thread and by the many similar boxes already posted in this thread:
The Hyper-Intelligence Jump, more commonly known as simply “The Jump,” was a large evolutionary shift of undetermined causes. This “jump” in evolution – mainly, an increase in brain complexity and verbal/physical communication skills – occurred among a wide variety of fauna worldwide between 2020 and 2040. Due to the slowness of its detection, there are many theories as to its cause, ranging from diet, biological/habitat-related chemical imbalances, and undocumented animal testing gone awry, to the widely accepted theory of it simply being a natural progression occurring so suddenly due to the endangerment of these particular species due to mankind’s negative impact on the planet. Many others, though, point to the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Disaster of 2011, the Trump-Kim Nuclear Exchange of 2017, or the Marble Hill Nuclear Disaster of 2018 as the possible catalyst for non-humans developing advanced skills (sentience, abstract/critical thinking, complex verbal/physical communication) across the globe via positive contamination and positive nuclear mutation of the developing brains and throats of animal fetuses, though this theory is still unproven. The first report of a “jumped” communicative animal came in late 2020 from China, where a pet canine born in late 2019 shouted “Watch out!” upon seeing a distracted pedestrian almost walk into a busy street…
– Intro to Wikipedia article on “The Jump,” c. 2050
Repubertarican candidate: “The question still remains whether or not the mysterious wave of hyper-intelligence in animals can even qualify Governor Peterson for the Presidency in the first place.”
Demogreenic candidate: “Now Senator, the courts already settled on this last year in Freckles-v-USA. If someone – anyone – can communicate independently, and is thirty-five years old by their own biological clock, they can serve as President. As Governor, I have led a very successful administration in Massachusetts, and I will take those leadership skills to Washington as America’s first Canine-American President.”
Repubertarican candidate: “But Governor, how can the American people trust you with the nuclear launch codes when you don’t even have opposable thumbs?”
Independent candidate: “Listen, everyone, I know debating an intelligent talking dog is a pretty big deal, but can we at least focus on a few of the issues? Like reinstating the Electoral College so the disastrous events of the 2052 election can never happen again!”
– Quotes from the First Presidential Debate, September 2060
PETERSON ASCENDS TO RUNOFF!
Breakdown:
DEMOG candidate: 36%
INDEP candidate: 31%
GOLP candidate: 29%
All Other candidates: 4%
– AMSNBCUSA News.com, November 2060
DOG WINS PRESIDENCY!
Breakdown:
DEMOG candidate: 59%
INDEP candidate: 41%
– AMSNBCUSA News.com, December 2060
Doggo Peterson was the 53rd President of the United States and, as a Canine-American, was the 1st non-human President in American history. A second-generation hyper-canine (also known as brain-animals, smart-pets, smart-walkers, hijjers, and talkies), he was born to a first-generation Hyper-Jumped canine being studied in a lab, but the scientists placed him in a shelter for non-hyper animals after failing to show verbal communication skills when typical. Shortly afterwards, Peterson was given the birth name “Doggo” by the four-year-girl that purchased him, as she thought it was “a funny name.” Peterson lived as a pet in a Boston suburb home owned by the Peterson family until he was 14 (age 2 in human years), at which point the family moved, abandoning him, albeit reluctantly, due to financial constraints. He soon ran away from the empty home to MIT to pursue conversation and intellectual stimulation other than perpetually pondering “when are they coming back?” day in and day out. He adopted the given name “David” to honor noted animal scientist David Attenborough, but this never caught on. Peterson slowly developed the ability to communicate verbally, managing to form full sentences by the dog-age of 23. Peterson impressed scientists and geneticists with his understanding of biology and received two Master’s degrees, one in Biology and one in Political Science. Peterson soon became a major Boston-based activist in support of expanding rights to animals, though admitted early on that non-hyper animals “often lack the ability to know it’s themselves they see in a mirror, let alone figure out how to vote or manage a business.”
Being one of the few canines in the greater Boston area with near-human-level intelligence made Peterson quite the celebrity. Ultimately, he put Animal Rights support to the test by running for Governor. Despite being a non-invitee to the sole gubernatorial debate, his huge presence online helped him win by a narrow plurality over two unpopular major party candidates, largely due to ballots cast entirely online, which by 2054 was how a majority of people voted. Peterson privately feared, though, that many of his more low-brow supporters voted for him only because they though he was “cute.” Regardless, Peterson assembled the smartest minds in Massachusetts to assist him in running the state and performing minor tasks such as opening doors and food cans. Life-extension drugs for humans (and for dogs) were legalized under the previous administration, and Peterson took no reservations when it came to using them. In 2057, Peterson was reunited with the Peterson family on a TV show, boosting ratings and Peterson’s popularity. In December 2058, one month after winning re-election with 65% of the vote, Peterson announced his run for the US Presidency despite the many cultural and legal challenges such a campaign would have to overcome. However, after six years of being governor, and dozens of statewide and federal court cases later, Peterson walked on all fours up the steps of the Capitol Building. At the age of 10 (almost 70 in dog years, which by the time he left office made him both the oldest and youngest President ever at the same time), Petersen then stood on his hind legs, put his one paw on a bible and the other paw in the air, and gruffly barked out the oath of office.
As President, Doggo Peterson oversaw a restructuring of the tax system and the lowering of taxes on the bottom 95%. His environmentalist policies included planting two new trees for every one tree that the dwindling lumber industry cut down, building a sea wall off the coast of Louisiana to curb the effects of Global Warming, massively increasing agricultural research funding to combat worsening drought conditions in the Great Plains, and sending aid to Bangladesh after the Great Dhaka Floods of 2061-2062 submerged nearly 80% of the country. His public housing initiatives of 2061 and 2063 ensured decent living conditions overall, and his increase of the minimum wage was complimented with a relief package for struggling small businesses. Despite a major international incident earlier in the year (he was caught dragging his backside on a carpet in the Qasr al Hukm Palace of Saudi Arabia, an incident he apologized for, stating “I am so ashamed of myself, please forgive me.”), Peterson easily won re-election in 2064 over a controversial human Republibertarican nominee, and major third-party candidate businessman and fellow canine Anthony Maymo. By 2065, Peterson’s vision was suffering and he was equipped with special glasses that he could easily put on and take off despite having no thumbs. Doggo Peterson left office with high approval ratings, but by then his health had continued to decline from past incidents in 2063, 2064, 2065, 2067 and 2068. Peterson died in his sleep in early 2070, age 19 (almost 132 in human years, but due to the results of the life extension drugs, his true biological age was closer to 90-95). Regardless, Petersen is thought back on as a popular and affective leader, and his administration paved the way for future non-human US Presidents down the line.
– Wikipedia: The Oldest Website In Existence – Over 110 Years of Ad-Free Information!, c. 2120
President: Doggo “David” Peterson (2061-2069)
Vice-President: Scarlett Smith Kennedy (2061-2069)
Secretary of State: Carmen Mia Costello (2061-2065), Benjamin Sanders (2065-2069)
Secretary of the Treasury: Scott Leddreddy II (2061-2067), Craig Socart Henderson-Klamath (2067-2069)
Secretary of Defense: Calean Fabaegeran (2061-2065), Peter Bulldoggus (2065-2069)
Attorney General: Graham M. Pug (2061-2062), Rover Cleveland (2062-2068), Valerie Nguyen (2068-2069)
Secretary of the Interior: Abdul M. Said (2061-2064), John Turin Hickott (2064-2067), Doggie Howser (2067-2069)
Secretary of Agriculture: Johnny Ray Turner (2061-2069)
Secretary of Commerce: Aaron S. Thompson Jr. (2061-2069)
Secretary of Labor: Namri Pradashar (2061-2063), James Samwell “Sam” Durn (2063-2069)
Secretary of Health: Gerlad Fornind (2061), Mark Prince (2061-2066), Dr. Tesbin P. Said-Optds PhD (2066-2069)
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Rev. Delaman L. Coates (2061-2069)
Secretary of Terrestrial Transportation: Jeannie Haddaway-Vance (2061-2069)
Secretary of Energy: Rover Cleveland (2061-2062), Matthew Del Gottes (2062-2069)
Secretary of Education: Jonathan S. Kreiss-Tomkins (2061-2069)
Secretary of Veteran Affairs: Peter Bulldoggus (2061-2065), Daniel Say (2065-2069)
Secretary of Homeland Security: Gen. Philips Norelco Razor (2061-2068), Cider Hatchethouse (2068-2069)
Secretary of Trade: Pomegranate “Pomee” Sandanter (2061-2069)
Secretary of Peace and Negotiations: Herry Talrehm (2061-2069)
Secretary of Environmental Protection: Dug E. Dug (2061-2063), Frederick M. “Froggie” Jones (2063-2069)
Secretary of National Resources: Hooza Goodboy (2061-2062), Heather R. Mizeur (2062-2069)
Secretary of Management and Budget: Junifer Montgrove (2061-2069)
Secretary of Human and Non-Human Services: Pluto Xavier-Smith (2061-2066), Jane Rixton (2066-2069)
Secretary of Lunar, Solar, Cosmic and Galactic Transportation and Communication: Bertrand Elivras Stivers II (2061-2069)
Secretary of the Internet: Timothy Ricks (2061-2069)
Secretary of Small Businesses: Criag Henderson-Klamath (2061-2067), Morgan McGarvey (2067-2069)
Secretary of White House Affairs: SaraBeth McGregor (2061-2069)
– The US Cabinet, 2061-2069
4/28/2017 Edit: Added @Glide08's suggested revisions
“Who’s a Good President? You are! Yes, you are!”
The Hyper-Intelligence Jump, more commonly known as simply “The Jump,” was a large evolutionary shift of undetermined causes. This “jump” in evolution – mainly, an increase in brain complexity and verbal/physical communication skills – occurred among a wide variety of fauna worldwide between 2020 and 2040. Due to the slowness of its detection, there are many theories as to its cause, ranging from diet, biological/habitat-related chemical imbalances, and undocumented animal testing gone awry, to the widely accepted theory of it simply being a natural progression occurring so suddenly due to the endangerment of these particular species due to mankind’s negative impact on the planet. Many others, though, point to the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Disaster of 2011, the Trump-Kim Nuclear Exchange of 2017, or the Marble Hill Nuclear Disaster of 2018 as the possible catalyst for non-humans developing advanced skills (sentience, abstract/critical thinking, complex verbal/physical communication) across the globe via positive contamination and positive nuclear mutation of the developing brains and throats of animal fetuses, though this theory is still unproven. The first report of a “jumped” communicative animal came in late 2020 from China, where a pet canine born in late 2019 shouted “Watch out!” upon seeing a distracted pedestrian almost walk into a busy street…
– Intro to Wikipedia article on “The Jump,” c. 2050
Repubertarican candidate: “The question still remains whether or not the mysterious wave of hyper-intelligence in animals can even qualify Governor Peterson for the Presidency in the first place.”
Demogreenic candidate: “Now Senator, the courts already settled on this last year in Freckles-v-USA. If someone – anyone – can communicate independently, and is thirty-five years old by their own biological clock, they can serve as President. As Governor, I have led a very successful administration in Massachusetts, and I will take those leadership skills to Washington as America’s first Canine-American President.”
Repubertarican candidate: “But Governor, how can the American people trust you with the nuclear launch codes when you don’t even have opposable thumbs?”
Independent candidate: “Listen, everyone, I know debating an intelligent talking dog is a pretty big deal, but can we at least focus on a few of the issues? Like reinstating the Electoral College so the disastrous events of the 2052 election can never happen again!”
– Quotes from the First Presidential Debate, September 2060
PETERSON ASCENDS TO RUNOFF!
Breakdown:
DEMOG candidate: 36%
INDEP candidate: 31%
GOLP candidate: 29%
All Other candidates: 4%
– AMSNBCUSA News.com, November 2060
DOG WINS PRESIDENCY!
Breakdown:
DEMOG candidate: 59%
INDEP candidate: 41%
– AMSNBCUSA News.com, December 2060
Doggo Peterson was the 53rd President of the United States and, as a Canine-American, was the 1st non-human President in American history. A second-generation hyper-canine (also known as brain-animals, smart-pets, smart-walkers, hijjers, and talkies), he was born to a first-generation Hyper-Jumped canine being studied in a lab, but the scientists placed him in a shelter for non-hyper animals after failing to show verbal communication skills when typical. Shortly afterwards, Peterson was given the birth name “Doggo” by the four-year-girl that purchased him, as she thought it was “a funny name.” Peterson lived as a pet in a Boston suburb home owned by the Peterson family until he was 14 (age 2 in human years), at which point the family moved, abandoning him, albeit reluctantly, due to financial constraints. He soon ran away from the empty home to MIT to pursue conversation and intellectual stimulation other than perpetually pondering “when are they coming back?” day in and day out. He adopted the given name “David” to honor noted animal scientist David Attenborough, but this never caught on. Peterson slowly developed the ability to communicate verbally, managing to form full sentences by the dog-age of 23. Peterson impressed scientists and geneticists with his understanding of biology and received two Master’s degrees, one in Biology and one in Political Science. Peterson soon became a major Boston-based activist in support of expanding rights to animals, though admitted early on that non-hyper animals “often lack the ability to know it’s themselves they see in a mirror, let alone figure out how to vote or manage a business.”
Being one of the few canines in the greater Boston area with near-human-level intelligence made Peterson quite the celebrity. Ultimately, he put Animal Rights support to the test by running for Governor. Despite being a non-invitee to the sole gubernatorial debate, his huge presence online helped him win by a narrow plurality over two unpopular major party candidates, largely due to ballots cast entirely online, which by 2054 was how a majority of people voted. Peterson privately feared, though, that many of his more low-brow supporters voted for him only because they though he was “cute.” Regardless, Peterson assembled the smartest minds in Massachusetts to assist him in running the state and performing minor tasks such as opening doors and food cans. Life-extension drugs for humans (and for dogs) were legalized under the previous administration, and Peterson took no reservations when it came to using them. In 2057, Peterson was reunited with the Peterson family on a TV show, boosting ratings and Peterson’s popularity. In December 2058, one month after winning re-election with 65% of the vote, Peterson announced his run for the US Presidency despite the many cultural and legal challenges such a campaign would have to overcome. However, after six years of being governor, and dozens of statewide and federal court cases later, Peterson walked on all fours up the steps of the Capitol Building. At the age of 10 (almost 70 in dog years, which by the time he left office made him both the oldest and youngest President ever at the same time), Petersen then stood on his hind legs, put his one paw on a bible and the other paw in the air, and gruffly barked out the oath of office.
As President, Doggo Peterson oversaw a restructuring of the tax system and the lowering of taxes on the bottom 95%. His environmentalist policies included planting two new trees for every one tree that the dwindling lumber industry cut down, building a sea wall off the coast of Louisiana to curb the effects of Global Warming, massively increasing agricultural research funding to combat worsening drought conditions in the Great Plains, and sending aid to Bangladesh after the Great Dhaka Floods of 2061-2062 submerged nearly 80% of the country. His public housing initiatives of 2061 and 2063 ensured decent living conditions overall, and his increase of the minimum wage was complimented with a relief package for struggling small businesses. Despite a major international incident earlier in the year (he was caught dragging his backside on a carpet in the Qasr al Hukm Palace of Saudi Arabia, an incident he apologized for, stating “I am so ashamed of myself, please forgive me.”), Peterson easily won re-election in 2064 over a controversial human Republibertarican nominee, and major third-party candidate businessman and fellow canine Anthony Maymo. By 2065, Peterson’s vision was suffering and he was equipped with special glasses that he could easily put on and take off despite having no thumbs. Doggo Peterson left office with high approval ratings, but by then his health had continued to decline from past incidents in 2063, 2064, 2065, 2067 and 2068. Peterson died in his sleep in early 2070, age 19 (almost 132 in human years, but due to the results of the life extension drugs, his true biological age was closer to 90-95). Regardless, Petersen is thought back on as a popular and affective leader, and his administration paved the way for future non-human US Presidents down the line.
– Wikipedia: The Oldest Website In Existence – Over 110 Years of Ad-Free Information!, c. 2120
President: Doggo “David” Peterson (2061-2069)
Vice-President: Scarlett Smith Kennedy (2061-2069)
Secretary of State: Carmen Mia Costello (2061-2065), Benjamin Sanders (2065-2069)
Secretary of the Treasury: Scott Leddreddy II (2061-2067), Craig Socart Henderson-Klamath (2067-2069)
Secretary of Defense: Calean Fabaegeran (2061-2065), Peter Bulldoggus (2065-2069)
Attorney General: Graham M. Pug (2061-2062), Rover Cleveland (2062-2068), Valerie Nguyen (2068-2069)
Secretary of the Interior: Abdul M. Said (2061-2064), John Turin Hickott (2064-2067), Doggie Howser (2067-2069)
Secretary of Agriculture: Johnny Ray Turner (2061-2069)
Secretary of Commerce: Aaron S. Thompson Jr. (2061-2069)
Secretary of Labor: Namri Pradashar (2061-2063), James Samwell “Sam” Durn (2063-2069)
Secretary of Health: Gerlad Fornind (2061), Mark Prince (2061-2066), Dr. Tesbin P. Said-Optds PhD (2066-2069)
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Rev. Delaman L. Coates (2061-2069)
Secretary of Terrestrial Transportation: Jeannie Haddaway-Vance (2061-2069)
Secretary of Energy: Rover Cleveland (2061-2062), Matthew Del Gottes (2062-2069)
Secretary of Education: Jonathan S. Kreiss-Tomkins (2061-2069)
Secretary of Veteran Affairs: Peter Bulldoggus (2061-2065), Daniel Say (2065-2069)
Secretary of Homeland Security: Gen. Philips Norelco Razor (2061-2068), Cider Hatchethouse (2068-2069)
Secretary of Trade: Pomegranate “Pomee” Sandanter (2061-2069)
Secretary of Peace and Negotiations: Herry Talrehm (2061-2069)
Secretary of Environmental Protection: Dug E. Dug (2061-2063), Frederick M. “Froggie” Jones (2063-2069)
Secretary of National Resources: Hooza Goodboy (2061-2062), Heather R. Mizeur (2062-2069)
Secretary of Management and Budget: Junifer Montgrove (2061-2069)
Secretary of Human and Non-Human Services: Pluto Xavier-Smith (2061-2066), Jane Rixton (2066-2069)
Secretary of Lunar, Solar, Cosmic and Galactic Transportation and Communication: Bertrand Elivras Stivers II (2061-2069)
Secretary of the Internet: Timothy Ricks (2061-2069)
Secretary of Small Businesses: Criag Henderson-Klamath (2061-2067), Morgan McGarvey (2067-2069)
Secretary of White House Affairs: SaraBeth McGregor (2061-2069)
– The US Cabinet, 2061-2069
4/28/2017 Edit: Added @Glide08's suggested revisions
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It's Cluny, but I suspect that he did have a Clint in his family tree. Perhaps just a thousand years after the Apocalypse?
Partially inspired by an FH thread and by the many similar boxes already posted in this thread:
“Who’s a Good President? You are! Yes, you are!”
The Hyper-Intelligence Jump, more commonly known as simply “The Jump,” was a large evolutionary shift of undetermined causes. This “jump” in evolution – mainly, an increase in brain complexity and verbal/physical communication skills – occurred among a wide variety of fauna worldwide between 2020 and 2040. Due to the slowness of its detection, there are many theories as to its cause, ranging from diet, biological/habitat-related chemical imbalances, and undocumented animal testing gone awry, to the widely accepted theory of it simply being a natural progression occurring so suddenly due to the endangerment of these particular species due to mankind’s negative impact on the planet. Many others, though, point to the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Disaster of 2011, the Trump-Kim Nuclear Exchange of 2017, or the Marble Hill Nuclear Disaster of 2018 as the possible catalyst for non-humans developing advanced skills (sentience, abstract/critical thinking, complex verbal/physical communication) across the globe via positive contamination and positive nuclear mutation of the developing brains and throats of animal fetuses, though this theory is still unproven. The first report of a “jumped” communicative animal came in late 2020 from China, where a pet canine born in late 2019 shouted “Watch out!” upon seeing a distracted pedestrian almost walk into a busy street…
– Intro to Wikipedia article on “The Jump,” c. 2050
Repubertarican candidate: “The question still remains whether or not the mysterious wave of hyper-intelligence in animals can even qualify Governor Peterson for the Presidency in the first place.”
Demogreenic candidate: “Now Senator, the courts already settled on this last year in Freckles-v-USA. If someone – anyone – can communicate independently, and is thirty-five years old by their own biological clock, they can serve as President. As Governor, I have led a very successful administration in Massachusetts, and I will take those leadership skills to Washington as America’s first Canine-American President.”
Repubertarican candidate: “But Governor, how can the American people trust you with the nuclear launch codes when you don’t even have opposable thumbs?”
Independent candidate: “Listen, everyone, I know debating an intelligent talking dog is a pretty big deal, but can we at least focus on a few of the issues? Like reinstating the Electoral College so the disastrous events of the 2052 election can never happen again!”
– Quotes from the First Presidential Debate, September 2060
DOG WINS PRESIDENCY!
Breakdown:
DEMOG candidate: 39%
GOLP candidate: 37%
INDEP candidate: 21%
Other candidates: 3%
– AMSNBCUSA News.com, November 2060
Doggo Peterson was the 53rd President of the United States and, as a Canine-American, was the 1st non-human President in American history. A second-generation hyper-canine (also known as brain-animals, smart-pets, smart-walkers, hijjers, and talkies), he was born to a first-generation Hyper-Jumped canine being studied in a lab, but the scientists placed him in a shelter for non-hyper animals after failing to show verbal communication skills when typical. Shortly afterwards, Peterson was given the birth name “Doggo” by the four-year-girl that purchased him, as she thought it was “a funny name.” Peterson lived as a pet in a Boston suburb home owned by the Peterson family until he was 14 (age 2 in human years), at which point the family moved, abandoning him, albeit reluctantly, due to financial constraints. He soon ran away from the empty home to MIT to pursue conversation and intellectual stimulation other than perpetually pondering “when are they coming back?” day in and day out. He adopted the given name “David” to honor noted animal scientist David Attenborough, but this never caught on. Peterson slowly developed the ability to communicate verbally, managing to form full sentences by the dog-age of 23. Peterson impressed scientists and geneticists with his understanding of biology and received two Master’s degrees, one in Biology and one in Political Science. Peterson soon became a major Boston-based activist in support of expanding rights to animals, though admitted early on that non-hyper animals “often lack the ability to know it’s themselves they see in a mirror, let alone figure out how to vote or manage a business.”
Being one of the few canines in the greater Boston area with near-human-level intelligence made Peterson quite the celebrity. Ultimately, he put Animal Rights support to the test by running for Governor. Despite being a non-invitee to the sole gubernatorial debate, his huge presence online helped him win by a narrow plurality over two unpopular major party candidates, largely due to ballots cast entirely online, which by 2054 was how a majority of people voted. Peterson privately feared, though, that many of his more low-brow supporters voted for him only because they though he was “cute.” Regardless, Peterson assembled the smartest minds in Massachusetts to assist him in running the state and performing minor tasks such as opening doors and food cans. Life-extension drugs for humans (and for dogs) were legalized under the previous administration, and Peterson took no reservations when it came to using them. In 2057, Peterson was reunited with the Peterson family on a TV show, boosting ratings and Peterson’s popularity. In December 2058, one month after winning re-election with 65% of the vote, Peterson announced his run for the US Presidency despite the many cultural and legal challenges such a campaign would have to overcome. However, after six years of being governor, and dozens of statewide and federal court cases later, Peterson walked on all fours up the steps of the Capitol Building. At the age of 10 (almost 70 in dog years, which by the time he left office made him both the oldest and youngest President ever at the same time), Petersen then stood on his hind legs, put his one paw on a bible and the other paw in the air, and gruffly barked out the oath of office.
As President, Doggo Peterson oversaw a restructuring of the tax system and the lowering of taxes on the bottom 95%. His environmentalist policies included planting two new trees for every one tree that the dwindling lumber industry cut down, building a sea wall off the coast of Louisiana to curb the effects of Global Warming, massively increasing agricultural research funding to combat worsening drought conditions in the Great Plains, and sending aid to Bangladesh after the Great Dhaka Floods of 2061-2062 submerged nearly 80% of the country. His public housing initiatives of 2061 and 2063 ensured decent living conditions overall, and his increase of the minimum wage was complimented with a relief package for struggling small businesses. Despite a major international incident earlier in the year (he was caught dragging his backside on a carpet in the Qasr al Hukm Palace of Saudi Arabia, an incident he apologized for, stating “I am so ashamed of myself, please forgive me.”), Peterson easily won re-election in 2064 over a controversial human Republibertarican nominee, and major third-party candidate businessman and fellow canine Anthony Maymo. By 2065, Peterson’s vision was suffering and he was equipped with special glasses that he could easily put on and take off despite having no thumbs. Doggo Peterson left office with high approval ratings, but by then his health had continued to decline from past incidents in 2063, 2064, 2065, 2067 and 2068. Peterson died in his sleep in early 2070, age 19 (almost 132 in human years, but due to the results of the life extension drugs, his true biological age was closer to 90-95). Regardless, Petersen is thought back on as a popular and affective leader, and his administration paved the way for future non-human US Presidents down the line.
– Wikipedia: The Oldest Website In Existence – Over 110 Years of Ad-Free Information!, c. 2120
President: Doggo “David” Peterson (2061-2069)
Vice-President: Scarlett Smith Kennedy (2061-2069)
Secretary of State: Carmen Mia Costello (2061-2065), Benjamin Sanders (2065-2069)
Secretary of the Treasury: Scott Leddreddy II (2061-2067), Craig Socart Henderson-Klamath (2067-2069)
Secretary of Defense: Calean Fabaegeran (2061-2065), Peter Bulldoggus (2065-2069)
Attorney General: Graham M. Pug (2061-2062), Rover Cleveland (2062-2068), Valerie Nguyen (2068-2069)
Secretary of the Interior: Abdul M. Said (2061-2064), John Turin Hickott (2064-2067), Doggie Howser (2067-2069)
Secretary of Agriculture: Johnny Ray Turner (2061-2069)
Secretary of Commerce: Aaron S. Thompson Jr. (2061-2069)
Secretary of Labor: Namri Pradashar (2061-2063), James Samwell “Sam” Durn (2063-2069)
Secretary of Health: Gerlad Fornind (2061), Mark Prince (2061-2066), Dr. Tesbin P. Said-Optds PhD (2066-2069)
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Rev. Delaman L. Coates (2061-2069)
Secretary of Terrestrial Transportation: Jeannie Haddaway-Vance (2061-2069)
Secretary of Energy: Rover Cleveland (2061-2062), Matthew Del Gottes (2062-2069)
Secretary of Education: Jonathan S. Kreiss-Tomkins (2061-2069)
Secretary of Veteran Affairs: Peter Bulldoggus (2061-2065), Daniel Say (2065-2069)
Secretary of Homeland Security: Gen. Philips Norelco Razor (2061-2068), Cider Hatchethouse (2068-2069)
Secretary of Trade: Pomegranate “Pomee” Sandanter (2061-2069)
Secretary of Peace and Negotiations: Herry Talrehm (2061-2069)
Secretary of Environmental Protection: Dug E. Dug (2061-2063), Frederick M. “Froggie” Jones (2063-2069)
Secretary of National Resources: Hooza Goodboy (2061-2062), Heather R. Mizeur (2062-2069)
Secretary of Management and Budget: Junifer Montgrove (2061-2069)
Secretary of Human and Non-Human Services: Pluto Xavier-Smith (2061-2066), Jane Rixton (2066-2069)
Secretary of Lunar, Solar, Cosmic and Galactic Transportation and Communication: Bertrand Elivras Stivers II (2061-2069)
Secretary of the Internet: Timothy Ricks (2061-2069)
Secretary of Small Businesses: Criag Henderson-Klamath (2061-2067), Morgan McGarvey (2067-2069)
Secretary of White House Affairs: SaraBeth McGregor (2061-2069)
– The US Cabinet, 2061-2069
That's amazing, man. What are Jumped animal terrorists like?
!Depends on the regime. Though I wouldn't mind doing a Winston Smith in this instance.
Battle of Rosales
Unfortunately for Napoleon III's schemes his first choice, Maximilian, was non-commited to imposing himself as Emperor of Mexico. But his younger brother Karl Ludwig was not and was in fact eager to defend the Mexican establishment against what he saw as "dangerous secular radicals". Karl Ludwig was a...poor choice...he insisted on keeping his German name, not even accepting the name "Carlos" or any other Spanish names. He disrupted any attempt at peace and ruing Napoleon III's careful planning for a puppet state. And he bungled diplomatically, not at all helping France's desperate efforts to convince the USA that no, there was never any support for the Confederacy at all, no siree bob. When the war turned against him and the French started to lose he fled to Veracruz, then left the country completely, ending the Imperial cause for good. All in all his actions were rather disgraceful for a Hapsburg and likely took at least a decade off his life. Though his son Franz found support from good old Uncle Maximilian, future Emperor.
Unfortunately for Napoleon III's schemes his first choice, Maximilian, was non-commited to imposing himself as Emperor of Mexico. But his younger brother Karl Ludwig was not and was in fact eager to defend the Mexican establishment against what he saw as "dangerous secular radicals". Karl Ludwig was a...poor choice...he insisted on keeping his German name, not even accepting the name "Carlos" or any other Spanish names. He disrupted any attempt at peace and ruing Napoleon III's careful planning for a puppet state. And he bungled diplomatically, not at all helping France's desperate efforts to convince the USA that no, there was never any support for the Confederacy at all, no siree bob. When the war turned against him and the French started to lose he fled to Veracruz, then left the country completely, ending the Imperial cause for good. All in all his actions were rather disgraceful for a Hapsburg and likely took at least a decade off his life. Though his son Franz found support from good old Uncle Maximilian, future Emperor.
Wait, what disastrous events? Did no Canddiate score the 50%+1 in at least 26 states threshold and both Candidates nominated for the Secound Round/Run-off died before it happened?
I've been planning to make some for the U.S. presidential elections in that story. I might have to start moving before someone beats me to the punch...
- Status