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Can't really think of a good one right now so I'm just doing a random not plausible one
American Cheese Commercial Female voice accompained by soothing music
"Are you tired of seeing holes in your cheese? Are you sad at knowing that the cheese your eating is made from a foreign country? Are tired of not knowing if the cheese you get has the quality of cheese as foreigners eat?"
"If so, then try out American Cheese. The whole swab of cheese is covered in mouth-watering scrumptious cheese. It is 100% American made and top notch quality rivaled only by Swiss Cheese!"
Patriotic Song
"Buy smart, Buy American!"
Because I just have to type this down Now with 50% more Freedom and 25% more Liberty in every serving