Alexander the Great of Great Britain & Ireland-Ascension +Leopold Regency Part Two

Inasmuch as I had had no response to the original posting in an extended time, I did was not sure this AH was of any interest to anyone. However; since there has been interest recently expressed, I thought I might post Part Two of this biography at this time. Thanks for your time and attention.

Introduction- This WI hypothesizes what might have happened had Princess Charlotte of Wales's son been born alive and what this might have meant for the Hanoverians, Coburgs, British, Europe and the world. As I update the story, I will also update the 'vital stats' of my protagonist's life. My schedule preclude me from posting updates more frequently than on a monthly basis but I welcome constructive criticisms and comments over this.
POD- After a labor of more than two days, on November 5,1817, 21-year-old Princess Charlotte of Wales (the wife of Prince Leopold of Saxe-Coburg Saalfeld- and the only legitimate child of George, Prince of Wales[Prince Regent of Great Britain for King George III ] gave birth to a stillborn son who went unnamed but termed ‘a Prince’ in genealogical accounting . Despite the physician having brought forceps, those had never been used and the child evidently was strangled in the birth canal while the physicians waited for his mother to give birth. Eight hours later, early in the morning of November 6th, Princess Charlotte of Wales herself died of a hemorrhage- and it was these dual deaths that would have great impact on both the Hanoverian and Saxe-Coburg Dynasties thereafter. This alt history hypothesizes one possible outcome had the baby boy been born alive but his mother Princess Charlotte of Wales died nonetheless (not an uncommon event even amongst noble families in the 18th Century).

Alexander I, King of Great Britain and Ireland ( November 5,1817- )( H.R.H. Prince Alexander of Saxe-Coburg Saalfeld and Great Britain and Ireland-,Duke of Durham November 6,1817- June 26,1830)(reigned 1830-1835, ruled 1835- ). (Father-Prince Leopold of Saxe-Coburg Saalfeld[later Saxe-Coburg Gotha] -1790- [Prince Regent of Great Britain and Ireland 1830-1835] (Mother- Charlotte, Princess Leopold of Saxe-Coburg Saalfeld born Princess Charlotte of Wales (1796-November 6,1817).

Here is a link to Part One.
https://www.alternatehistory.com/discussion/showthread.php?t=143089


Morning of June 26,1830. King George IV had just breathed his last and his oldest surviving brother, William, Duke of Clarence [now William I, King of Hanover] had just departed for his own new kingdom, leaving the 12-year-old new king of Great Britain and Ireland to await the arrival of his father HRH, Prince Leopold of Saxe-Coburg Gotha.
"Who goes there?" the Windsor guards were heard to call from directly outside the Great Hall.
"His Highness, the Prince Leopold- Regent to His Majesty!" was heard replied.
"You can't let him in! Grandpapa's hardly breathed his last!" Alexander pleaded.
"Forgive me, Your Majesty but Parliament has long proclaimed him to be Regent for the duration of your minority!" the Lord Chamberlain insisted.
While the Durham Regiment attempted to put themselves in front of Alexander to try to forestall the inevitable, Alexander merely nodded to indicate that he had to face it alone which sent them running back.
"Son! It is pointless to resist," Leopold shouted from behind the door.
"Father, I know that you must are to be my Regent and. .." Alexander started to say.
"Congratulations to Your Majesty! The House of Saxe-Coburg now reigns over Great Britain and its dominions!" Leopold proclaimed as he entered the Great Hall and bowed to Alexander.
"But Grandpapa is. .." Alexander started to say in shock.
"A mere happenstance and no real loss to the Kingdom, "Leopold sniffed.
"What are you. ..?" Alexander started to ask.
"The first order of business will be to rid you of these toadies at once so that you may learn true dignity," Leopold proclaimed as he pointed to the Durham Regiment.

With a proclamation in hand [ironically in the name of Alexander himself],in his very first act of Regent, Leopold had his squadron round up Alexander's de facto brothers and by daybreak, they were each placed in separate carriages with their belongings- dispatched post haste to their own parental homes.

Although Alexander himself did his best to physically defend the Durham Regiment and he threatened Leopold's squadron and those who aided them with grave consequences upon his Majority, there simply were too many for him to overcome and the Durham Regiment themselves were in too great shock to even begin to resist being sent into exile.

"Are you done, Father?" Alexander seethed.

"Oh, I've only just begun! Your First Council is due to convene here in just a few hours but you need to make yourself presentable to them," Leopold proclaimed as he took a large pair of sheep clipping shears from his vest pocket and brandished them.

It would take six burly men in all to accomplish Leopold's command of cutting Alexander's shoulder-length hair to virtual stubble -with four having to stand upon a limb each and a fifth standing directly on his chest and even with all their combined weight and efforts efforts, they barely were able to achieve the Regent's command before Alexander managed to throw two of them off.

Immediately, Alexander cupped his hand over his mangled right ear but with the six assistants physically carrying out the task, Leopold coldly forced him to the nearest wall mirror.

"What will Your Subjects think of their King with the Mark of Cain for all the world to see?" Leopold while pointing at the ear.

"Father!" Alexander gasped.

"Yes, the sign that you exist because you were the death of your mother! This should been the start of our rei - her reign with me guiding her every move but thanks to you , the most I can hope for now is barely five years!" Leopold seethed.

"Father, I've loved her and missed her all my life!" Alexander pleaded.

"If that were true, you wouldn't look at me with such disdain while having adored your Grandpapa," Leopold proclaimed.

"Father, . I. ." Alexander sputtered.

"Guards, put His Majesty in his quarters until sometime after the First Council leaves. It seems he is too griefstricken to be of any use," Leopold ordered.


So for the next few hours, Alexander was locked in his quarters as far away as possible from the First Council while Leopold attempted to receive them in his son's name.

What Leopold didn't count on was Alexander knowing every square inch of Windsor Castle's hidden passageways including having long since explored the fireplace grates and drains of Windsor Castle and, of course, being strong enough to uproot the fireplace grate from the floor of his room then being able to crawl through to outside before making his way to the Castle Laundry where he was able to get a hasty scrub and a guardsman's uniform in his size. With longtime Windsor guards who he knew were far more sympathetic to him than wanting to curry favor to the Regent, he was able to reach the First Council with mere seconds to spare before they were ready to leave.

Although Alexander was in a guard's uniform rather than a mourning suit and his shoulder-length hair was shorn to virtual stubble- which laid bare the forcep-mangled right ear, the Council recognized him at once and once they overcame their shock at seeing him in the guard's uniform, they all bowed at once.

"Your Majesty. His Highness the Prince Leopold said you were too griefstricken for His Late Majesty to meet with us today," the Prime Minister the Duke of Wellington gasped as Alexander entered the meeting chamber.

"It is with a sincerely heavy heart that I meet with My Council today .However, I would be remiss in not ensuring that the needs of Great Britain, Ireland and all our domains will be my most pressing duty,"Alexander insisted as the Council all bowed to him.

"Yes, Your Majesty. Your official name is to be Leopold after your father to proclaim the Saxe-Coburg Dynasty, am I correct?" the Duke of Wellington asked.

"No, my late mother- Princess Charlotte of Wales and my father himself bestowed the name of Alexander to me first for a purpose so that is what I am to be known by rather than my last Christian name," Alexander insisted.

At once, quite a few loud, hasty scratches were rendered upon virtually every document that had been brought to that chamber while Leopold was seen turning beet red.

Thus was what was done would be considered the First Routing of Leopold but he was far from done.
 
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Very interesting! Can't wait to see where this goes.

Edit: Just read the full chapter, and I do have a question: WHY would the Guards listen to Leopold over the King? Even if he's the Regent, sooner or later the Regency will end and the King will assume full power. Why risk angering him? All in all though, great beginning! I always hated the Saxe-Coburg-Gothas, especially Leopold and Albert, so I'm glad to see him knocked down a few pegs. So will the British Crown remain a force in politics?
 
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Very interesting! Can't wait to see where this goes.

Edit: Just read the full chapter, and I do have a question: WHY would the Guards listen to Leopold over the King? Even if he's the Regent, sooner or later the Regency will end and the King will assume full power. Why risk angering him? All in all though, great beginning! I always hated the Saxe-Coburg-Gothas, especially Leopold and Albert, so I'm glad to see him knocked down a few pegs. So will the British Crown remain a force in politics?

Thanks for reading this through, Emperor Constantine, and sorry the delayed response.

1. Interesting point re the Guards listening to Leopold over the King. Since a minor succeeding to the throne has been considered a bit of an anamoly compared to the usual order of an adult and a minor is considered to legally need a guardian, it's not been unheard of for Regents to prevail over minor monarchs re staff. [e.g. Peter II of Russia was somewhat bullied by Menshikov in the first part of his brief reign and it was only due to the dual factors Menshikov becoming ill and the fact that Menshikov was unrelated to the Czar that spurred the nobles to help Peter II overcome that Regency]. For the purpose of this storyline, I imagine that the Windsor guards believing that a father should prevail over a son [even one who is king] AND the fact that they likely didn't share Alexander's grief re George IV may have prompted them to side with a foreign born Regent over their King believing the short term benefits of serving a Regent could make up for any possible long term consequences that wouldn't happen for at least another five years.

2. Leopold's role as a manipulator of several nations via matchmaking, etc. would likely have been somewhat curtailed due to him being a widower of an Heiress Presumptive and with Alexander living and the Regency this would mean, there would be no motivation on Leopold's part to seek other nation's thrones much less any on the Belgians' part to choose him for the newly established kingdom over other nobles. Secondly, with Alexander resisting him, it could somewhat erode his own clout re Regent of Great Britain much less that of European manipulator so I'm glad you liked him being taken down a peg.

3. For the monarchy to remain a 'force in politics', that would mean that , upon his majority, Alexander will have to overcome decades of resentment from the political establishment that started from the Madness of George III, through the Regency then the reign of George IV and, via this AH, whatever Leopold may try to pull over the next five years. In other words, this will have to be addressed when Alexander becomes a full legal adult in future chapters.

In any case, thanks for your interest and I hope to have a new thread for Chapter Three posted in December if life doesn't get too hectic.
 
Fight or Flight- Part Three

[FONT=&quot]Over the course of the next few months with startling precision, Leopold exiled or ‘persuaded’ virtually every member of his staff to leave Windsor Castle, Kew and the other residences. Leopold’s supporters in Parliament were able to make the case that the boy king had been too ‘corrupted’ by the late King George IV’s upbringing to not need his father’s guidance to counteract it for the good of his own future rule and the nation. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] If Leopold thought this would break Alexander’s will, he was sadly mistaken. Time and again, bills brought forth to Leopold to approve would be intercepted by Alexander with the warning that he would undo it as soon as he reached his majority. Although Leopold took some solace that Alexander was a very attentive and scholarly student to his tutors, any of them attempting to even subtly introduce Leopold’s agenda to him found themselves with a very hostile reaction and more than one insisted on Royal guards being present in case the reaction became physical. Leopold was often less subtle in his methods- leaving every news editorial available and even letters from the late Princess Charlotte and other Royal Family members that had criticized George IV’s behavior for Alexander to read even while the nation was officially supposed to be mourning the late King. Alexander took the advice of his Pahlawi trainer to heart- to hold onto what he believed to be true even in the face of solid opposition against it would make him stronger in the longrun and Alexander would hold onto this precept to give him strength long after the last member of his ‘family’ had been torn away from him.[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot] Roughly a month after George IV’s death, Leopold had moved the Royal Household to Brighton for the dual purposes of deciding what to do with the late King’s iconoclastic, pseudo- Eastern [and many thought, downright bizarre] residence as well as planning on Alexander’s Coronation. It was to the latter end that he summoned the Prime Minister, the Duke of Wellington to spend a few days in Brighton with the increasingly at odds Regent and Minor King.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] While news of Alexander and Leopold’s stay for the first time since his Accession caused quite a bit of pride and anticipation in the relatively small community, none of the permanent residents could have anticipated that this visit would put them in the center stage of a game playing confrontation.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] At Steine House, the scullery maid was heard to argue quite loudly at the back kitchen door.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “We ain’t in need to hire anyone to wash the windows or clean the gutters! Off with ya, lad!” Mildred Jenks a rather portly brunette of 18 was heard to sneer.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Let me see the lady o’ the ‘ouse, Miz Fitz’erbert!” Alexander [in his Dare Coburn disguise] pleaded in a rather convincing local dialectal accent while getting the door shut in his face.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Nothin’ doin’. She ain’t seein’ no one –least of all pan’andlers!” Mildred scoffed as she and the gardener unsuccessfully attempted to push the door close.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Mildred, what have I said about us extending charity to the misfortunate as He would have done?” 74-year-old Maria Fitzherbert exclaimed as she entered the kitchen.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But, Ma’am. He’s nothin’ more than. . .” Mildred protested.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “A child of God. Let him in and give him some tea,” Mrs. Fitzherbert insisted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Tea, ma’am?” Mildred sputtered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Yes, and bring it into the parlour for the two of us!” Mrs. Fitzherbert ordered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “The parlour?” Mildred gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “This way, lad!” Mrs. Fitzherbert ordered while Alexander followed her.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Miz Fitz’erbert, could I stay in your stable til the wee hours?” Alexander asked once the two were alone.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I know who you are, Your Majesty!” Mrs. Fitzherbert laughed as she curtsied in spite of her 74-years of rheumatism and other ailments. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Although somewhat bent and with grey hair, Maria Fitzherbert was still a fairly attractive older woman with flashes of her youthful beauty defying age’s toll. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Mrs. Fitzherbert!” Alexander gasped as he took off his cap.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Now, why do you want to stay in my stable when you have a wondrous suite in the Royal Palace to sleep in?” Mrs. Fitzherbert asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ Father’s ruining everything and. ..I must start anew,” Alexander groaned.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ Do you know how many times I heard your grandfather say that about his own father?” Mrs. Fitzherbert asked with a laugh.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But he doesn’t see me anymore than a puppet to string along and won’t cease even after I’ve achieved my majority,” Alexander sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “How so?” Mrs. Fitzherbert asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “He wants me to declare that I will always filially defer to him – at my Coronation!” Alexander seethed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ I see. And do you think that running away will put an end to your problems?” Mrs. Fitzherbert asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “If I’m not around to be King. He can’t last very long as Regent,” Alexander scoffed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “How long do you think you could survive doing odd jobs before locals smarter than Mildred find you out?” Mrs. Fitzherbert laughed while straightening out her silk cap over her grey bun.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ I shan’t stay here more than a fortnight before find a schooner bound for London then a join a crew bound for the Cape and India,” Alexander enthused.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “India? What on Earth would you do there?” Mrs. Fitzherbert gasped as Mildred sullenly brought forth the tray with the tea at that moment and hung back.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Both Alexander and Mrs. Fitzherbert halted their conversation.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Is there something you need here, Mildred?” Mrs. Fitzherbert.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “No, ma’am,” Mildred groaned as she exited with a scowl.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “So even if you somehow evaded the forces of Scotland Yard and the Royal Navy and made it to India, what would you do there?” Mrs. Fitzherbert asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I’d be an acrobat for my keep while I learned all I need to know about that Realm then when I reached my Majority, I’d return and claim the Crown and be Coronated!” Alexander insisted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Oh, you are definitely your grandfather’s grandson – to say nothing of your mother’s son. Totally impractical in your dreams!” Mrs. Fitzherbert laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “It could work!” Alexander pleaded.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “How many boy kings have you heard of who escaped their guardians and were able to reclaim their throne as men?” Mrs. Fitzherbert asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Well, there was. . .” Alexander sputtered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Lambert Simnel. Some thought he was Edward V’s younger brother who escaped the Tower but he was made to run a spit while in Henry VII’s kitchens,” Mrs. Fitzherbert noted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Well, then I shall be the first!” Alexander insisted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ If you run away now, you may forever lose the chance to be the King your grandfather believed you could be and the Kingdom would be thrown into an uproar over a lost King,” Mrs. Fitzherbert shuddered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But what about Father and his plans?” Alexander asked as Mrs. Fitzherbert poured tea for them.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “The most successful warrior only fights when it’s necessary instead of wasting his energies on unimportant trifles,” Mrs. Fitzherbert insisted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “So I should fight to keep my Coronation on my own terms and other important matters but not resist Father at every turn. Is that what you are saying, ma’am?” Alexander asked as he sipped his cup.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Who am I to advise a king?” Mrs. Fitzherbert laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Someone whom Grandpapa loved. He still wore your miniature on his neck when he died and insisted on being buried with it,” Alexander declared.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “He did?” Mrs. Fitzherbert gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Indeed. I can see why he loved you enough to marry you in spite of everything ,” Alexander beamed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Well, I knew that beneath his airs, bluster and faults, he was a boy who needed love and between my two late husbands and Mr. Fitzherbert’s and my cherished baby boy in Heaven, I learned a bit about boys!” Mrs. Fitzherbert laughed as she and Alexander hugged.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “If Fate and the law of the land had allowed you to remain his wife, I would have been honored to have had you for my grandmother!” Alexander declared.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ I hear troops outside. I imagine Stephen the gardener recognized you. There’s time to flee out the back to find a schooner if that’s what you want,” Mrs. Fitzherbert cautioned.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “No, I must face what comes next as a King instead of a coward,” Alexander declared with a gulp.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Your Highness. Your Grace. You needn’t worry about His Majesty,” Mrs. Fitzherbert insisted as she let Leopold and the Duke of Wellington inside a few minutes later.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Alexander, why didn’t you tell anyone you were visiting this. ..subject,” Leopold scoffed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Father, she was once Grandpapa’s wife!” Alexander protested.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “No harm done, Your Majesty,” Mrs. Fitzherbert shrugged.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Your Majesty, why you in opposition to the Regent’s proposal to have your Coronation in the next month?” the Duke of Wellington asked with a bow.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “My good Prime Minister, in addition to expenses incurred by the Ceremony so soon after Grandpapa’s Funeral, I would not want to follow on the heels of the calamities that happened after the Coronations that happened to my predecessors Richard II and Edward VI crowned before they had a chance to grow to be Kings,” Alexander insisted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Your Highness, it seems His Majesty has made valid arguments against a too hasty Coronation and I for one will urge the Commons to obey his wishes in this matter,” the Duke of Wellington insisted as they exited the premises- to Leopold’s chagrin.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] While Alexander would visit Mrs. Fitzherbert on a somewhat regular basis for the rest of her life, he would forever cherish the first time they met when the servants were ready to cast him out and she gave him words of courage. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] In spite of Leopold’s military and strategic prowess, he was unable to stop his son from being able to escape him via climbing walls, trees, etc. and mingling with his subjects in his ‘Dare Coburn’ disguise- although virtually everyone by now knew the ‘groundskeeper apprentice’s ‘ true identity by this time. As much as he longed to permanently escape his father’s oppression, Alexander knew that it would only be a matter of time before the guards in Leopold’s employ would track him down and force him back .if he permanently escaped, there would be even less chance of bridling Leopold in the future. Alexander had succeeded in using his own name and in postponing his own Coronation until his majority but Leopold was far from done and it was the next clash that would make or break Alexander forever.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] In the aftermath of Princess Charlotte’s death and Alexander’s removal from their onetime home of Claremont, Leopold had hardly been abstinent. It was believed that within a year of Charlotte’s death, Leopold was frequenting several courtesans’ establishments in London, etc. but , inasmuch as he was a widower and ,to his credit, had been a true husband to his late wife, this was viewed with nothing more than a nudge and wink by those who knew. However; a situation had developed in 1828 that Leopold knew would raise eyebrows and possibly compromise his own clout with Parliament. His trusted adviser Christian vonStockmar had introduced him to his own impoverished cousin Caroline[or Karoline] Bauer while the two had travelled to Germany and Caroline immediately struck Leopold’s fancy for no other reason than she had a startlingly strong resemblance to Princess Charlotte herself. Leopold took the bold move of insisting Caroline and her mother move in with him in Claremont but he knew that his father-in-law George IV would never accept her as anything more than as his mistress and any possibility of defying George IV on this matter could possibly reverse Parliament and the British public’s support of Leopold as Charlotte’s widower and the Duke of Durham’s father. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] But, in January, 1831, Leopold felt emboldened enough to attempt to use his Regency to approve a marriage to Caroline [in accordance to the Royal Marriage Act of 1772] in which only marriages approved by the reigning monarch would be recognized . He presented Alexander with the document for him to initial so that it be sent to Parliament [and Leopold could be granted an additional £20,000 allowance] and walked hand in hand with Caroline at Kew but things went even more poorly than Leopold could have envisioned.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Yes, she is pretty but she is not my mother and I will never accept her as such!” Alexander declared [and it is noted here that this and every other conversation he had concerning Caroline in her presence would be in German not English].[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “If you reject her, you are rejecting your own mother’s face and you will pay for that!” Leopold seethed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Even though this was hardly the first time Leopold had attempted to bully him by trying to make him feel guilty over Charlotte, Alexander still visibly shuddered but then swallowed before making his next move.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I will accept her as a Princess of Saxe-Coburg Gotha if you wed her there and a Serene Highness but to make her a British Royal Highness would put her on a higher rank than even my poor mother ever achieved,” Alexander insisted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Your Majesty,” Caroline gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ I have no ill will towards you, milady but I shan’t have Father create an entire new rival line on Mama’s grave!” Alexander boiled.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “How could you think. ..?” Leopold screamed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “You are Prince Regent of Great Britain. If Miss Bauer were to become your wife under British law, she’d be Princess Regent and what would prevent any offspring from attempting to use that title in the future?” Alexander argued.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “We can go to Coburg and wed there if that’s what His Majesty wants. ..” Caroline proposed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Nothing doing! You’ve complained of being hidden long enough and I won’t stand for you being a lesser rank and have others point at me,” Leopold fumed- as he turned on his heel and dragged Caroline away.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Alexander had known about Caroline [as had George IV] but he knew this was not to be a union that would be of any benefit to anyone besides Leopold. He recalled ‘Cousin Vic’ telling him of happening upon her in a garden path near Claremont and Caroline momentarily staring at her before dashing off as ‘ a frightened rabbit’. Even the worshipful ‘Cousin Vic’ wasn’t entirely sure Caroline Bauer’s fear was strictly from being found out or of Leopold when she recounted the encounter to Alexander.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Less than a week later while Leopold was in London on a Parliamentary matter, Caroline and her mother appeared to Alexander.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Mrs. & Miss Bauer, if you were hoping to change my mind about. ..”Alexander scoffed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Your Majesty, can’t you see that she needs him to marry her,” Mrs. Bauer pleaded.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “As I said, Father can wed her in Coburg and I will accept her as Serene Highness and Princess of Coburg but not a Royal Highness here,” Alexander insisted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Please, it’s the only way I can be free!” Caroline begged- before covering her mouth.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “What do you mean free? “ Alexander asked somewhat curiously.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I didn’t exactly mean ‘free’ but. ..” Caroline sputtered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Does he love you beyond your resemblance to my poor mother?” Alexander asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “What does that have to do with. ..?” Caroline gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Do you love him?” Alexander asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Things aren’t so bad,” Caroline pleaded.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Does he treat you as anything more than a prisoner or a toy to play with when he gets bored?” Alexander asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Well, it’s not. ..” Caroline sputtered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Show him the bruise on your arm. That one you can show him!”Mrs. Bauer insisted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “He won’t get away with this!” Alexander fumed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Your Majesty!” Caroline gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But her cousin Christian [Stockmar] is most insistent that it would benefit both our families!” Mrs. Bauer pleaded.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “And I imagine he could have cared less about a woman being assaulted than his ambitions- even one of his blood,” Alexander shuddered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “It’s not like that,” Caroline sighed with a weak end.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “He has no problems with his cousin and aunt being virtual prisoners while he reaps the bounty of his ambitions with Father!” Alexander sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “His Majesty’s correct,” Mrs. Bauer sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But what can we do? Where can we go? We don’t speak Your Kingdom’s language and know nobody here,” Caroline sobbed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ Father will be in London another three days so that would give us time to engineer your escape,” Alexander pondered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “To where? Cousin Christian would see to it that the family would cast us asunder and then see to it the German dominions would treat us as outcasts,” Caroline sniffed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “How about America? There are large numbers of German speakers in their state of Pennsylvania,” Alexander pondered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But that’s all the way across the Atlantic,” Mrs. Bauer scoffed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “It would be a place to make new lives for yourselves on your own terms!” Alexander insisted- as he walked the two of them over to a large globe in the reception room.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Own terms?” Mrs. Bauer asked. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Not to worry. I will spot you £500 which should be plenty for passages to Philadelphia and then lodging until you can find your own destiny,” Alexander insisted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But you don’t know us so why would you risk Leopold’s wrath? Do you like us or do you hate him that much. ..Your Majesty?” Caroline asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ You two are strangers to me and perhaps I would have grown to like or even love you in time but he needs to know that just because he’s Regent doesn’t mean none of us have free will regardless of what he wants,” Alexander declared.[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]With a note stating that they had a family emergency in Coburg [and Leopold being unable to confirm due to trans- Channel communication taking several days each way] and Alexander’s donation [and personally penned passports for them], they were able to secure passage aboard a vessel bound for Philadelphia .from there, they would eventually join an Amish community as wife and mother-in-law to one its pillars to live physically demanding with a growing family but with contented lives before their deaths in the 1880s.[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]A/N- OTL I know there is no actual evidence spelling out that Leopold physically abused Caroline Bauer but he did keep her in rather strict seclusion- and it would make more sense that she would have been willing to risk destitution to escape physical abuse than merely leaving out of boredom with Leopold and his guilded cage. Of course, considering how contemptuous and bored he seemed to be of her a good part of the time, as the writer Cecil Woodham-Smith put it, despite Caroline’s account of having to flee ‘it’s quite possible she was bought off’. Regardless she and her mother abruptly left Leopold and would have no further contact with her cousin Christian Stockmar- and would pursue a spotty acting career before penning a scathing memoir published posthumously after her Caroline’s suicide in 1877. I thought I’d give her a more satisfying fate via Alexander in this story.
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[FONT=&quot] “You think you won, Alexander, but I assure you, you just made your fatal mistake. The world will find out which of us is truly fit to rule Great Britain!” Leopold was heard to rage when he discovered the Bauers’ successful escape. [/FONT]
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Theres one giant flaw in all of Leopolds plans...the moment Alexander is coronated, no matter what Alexsander promised him or said before hand..he can rescind it and have him done in for treason (Parliament would probaly go along with it, cos i can see Leopold pissing them off quickly enough)...KInda seens silly he hasnt realised just how much hes buggered himself.

Also i dont think they can actually hold off a coronation until a childs majority...or its never happened here...is there any precedent to hold it off?...and wouldnt it limit Alexander than save him more, because, hes now a un-crowned King, under a regency, mabye making it easier to unseat him.
 
jkarr,
Good point re the likely flaw that could fly in Leopold's face. However; Leopold DOES have one ace up his sleeve that will be revealed in next month's installment [hint, there was a precedent for it two decades earlier].
As to postponing a coronation until a monarch's majority? True there were never any precedents for it in English history. However; a coronation is technically nothing more than a ceremony that neither the nation nor monarch needs to occur for the monarch or state to function so, in theory a monarch could postpone it. It should be noted OTL that William IV had considered George IV's coronation so overwhelming that he seriously considered not having one himself and it was only when the MPs guilt tripped him that he reluctantly agreed to one but on a much smaller scale than his brother's [tagged by some a 'half Crown nation']. Also, there was a twelve year gap between Charles I's execution and Charles II's coronation in 1661 but England legally had no monarchy during almost that entire interim. Still, the point I'm making is that others may not like waiting more than a year for a coronation but there is no reason why it couldn't be postponed if not altogether avoided.
Thanks for reading this and I hope next month's installment is satisfactory.
 
Fit to Reign But Not Rule- Forever? -Part Four

A/N- I had a little more 'free' time on my hands than expected so posted this part earlier than usual. Part Five should be in January,2014. Thanks for your interest
January, 1831-
“What could have possessed Caroline to have fled and Alexander to have helped her?” Leopold fumed go his personal physician Christian Stockmar once he discovered the finality of Caroline’s exit and the extent of Alexander’s assistance.
“ I can’t speak for my cousin or her mother ,sir, but it does seem as though all three of them had to be ‘touched’ to have committed such drastic actions!” Stockmar replied.
“ ‘Touched’, you say? That’s brilliant, Stocky!” Leopold exclaimed with glee.
“It is, My Lord?” Stockmar asked.
“Precisely! I don’t know why I never considered it before. The boy hasn’t just inherited his grandfather’s and great -grandfathers’ throne, he’s also inherited their cranial . .. unsoundness to boot!” Leopold proclaimed as he raised his clenched right fist in the air.
At once, Stockmar looked around the room to see if they were being overheard and concluded [mistakenly- ignoring a chimney sweep at work inside that fireplace] that they were not.
“Sir. .? Are you suggesting that His Majesty could have his ancestors’. .. condition? That could be considered treason to infer,” Stockmar gasped.
“Oh, but it must be true and you yourself said that they had to be’ touched’. I’m certain with your medical authority weighing in with my councils’ arguments, we could convince Parliament that Alexander needs to be kept at a safe remove from any stimuli. . . or regal authority,” Leopold smirked.
“Sir, you are the Regent for the next five years. Surely that would give you time enough to. .” Stockmar pleaded.
“Have everything undone and be cast out on my ear on his 18th Birthday!” Leopold boiled.
“Sir, surely you could win him over as you have his cousin Princess Victoria of Kent,” Stockmar pleaded.
“Only because that oaf Conroy is stupid enough to think that charming her harridan of a mother [my sister] is enough for Victoria to motivate obedience but she sees me as the father in her heart! Alas, there’s no equivalent for Alexander to consider me the lesser evil to choose,” Leopold sighed.
“But sir,” Stockmar pleaded.
“No, I’ve worked too hard and come too far for this. If Dear Charlotte had lived, the two of us could have raised Alexander to be completely deferent to me even after he became an adult ,” Leopold sighed with a tear.
“You’re right,sir,” Stockmar sighed.

“ However; with him murdering her with his birth and his having been poisoned against me by the very man who ruined Dear Charlotte’s childhood, I have no other recourse but to spare Great Britain his eventual rule while being his permanent Regent!” Leopold boiled.




“What possible right can Father think he has to do this?”13-year-old Alexander gasped as new Prime Minister, the 2nd Earl Grey told him the news.
“He is Regent and you are a minor, Your Majesty,” the 65-year-old Prime Minister replied with a very low bow.
“And you are just going to sit by and allow slander to the very throne you have sworn to God to serve?” Alexander fumed.
“ Begging Your Majesty’s most gracious pardon but I was one to observe your late great-grandfather’s . . .paralyzing affliction and as for your recently departed grandfa. ..” Earl Grey sputtered.
“On your feet, Prime Minister!” Alexander boiled as he bodily lifted the nearly prostate older man from the floor to high in the air with a single motion compelling Earl Grey to put his feet beneath him for support.
“Sir, it’s outbursts such as these that could lead others to question,” Earl Grey sputtered- with some astonishment at how easily Alexander had lifted him.
“So that’s what Father’s saying . My passions are something to be feared and constrained, “Alexander concluded.
“He does say that for the good of the Kingdom. . .,” Earl Grey sheepishly replied.
“He had no problem overlooking my poor mother’s passions. In fact, one of the very few times I’ve ever have seen him laugh was when he told of her snatching Bishop Fisher’s wig from his head and casting it into the fire!” Alexander fumed.
“Sir, I tell you this not because I agree with him but because you need to be informed,” Earl Grey gasped.
“ I see,” Alexander sighed .
“But, you may not have a choice, Your Majesty,” Earl Grey sighed.
“Surely some of your colleagues would have preferred to think you being insane rather than consider your proposals,” Alexander hypothesized.
“What do you mean, sir?” Earl Grey gulped.
“ I know that you want to bring our Nation to the new century with a Reform Act and even abolish slavery not just here but in our colonies!” Alexander remarked.
“That’s true, sir but. ..” Earl Grey sighed.
“The adventurous and innovators have always been met with hostility from those who want to preserve the status quo to the point of considering them stupid or even insane. Am I wrong?” Alexander asked.
“No, sir,” Earl Grey sighed.
“Surely, you wouldn’t allow the charge of insanity taint yourself or your progeny here and yet to be,” Alexander pondered.
“No, sir,” Earl Grey groaned.
“Then, you must do everything to help back me up against Father or see our nation consider every monarch with the blood of George III to need be ruled by others and I will do my utmost to add my support to your proposals ,” Alexander ordered.


A few months later at a closed Parliamentary Committee Hearing. ..

“His Majesty has disguised himself as a peasant lad and called himself ‘Dare Coburn’- rejecting his very birthright. Surely that is evidence that his state of mind is not what is needed to Rule,” Stockmar pleaded before the Committee.
“Surely you can’t believe that rumor that. ..” Alexander’s council sputtered.
“ How can I rule a nation if I don’t know how its subjects live and I could not do so if I appeared as the Duke of Durham or their King,” Alexander pleaded while his council vainly tried to get him to sit down.
“So you renounce your kinghood and name?” Leopold’s lawyer asked.
“No I do not renounce my name of Alexander or my kinghood,” Alexander replied.
“But you attempt to repudiate Coburg?” Stockmar seethed.
“ There have been no kings in my direct line who have so much as seen our German homeland since my great-grandfather’s own grandfather George II and, though, my nearest Scottish ancestor is quite distant, having visited there, I’ve used the name since I feel more affinity to Scotland and all my realms than I do my father’s birthplace,” Alexander pleaded.

This caused a great uproar amongst the Lords and House of Commons but not a few loud cheers from the Scots.

“ I can’t promise I will have no temper or passions but I promise to always defend my realms and subjects with all my might for the rest of my life whether you allow me to rule upon my Majority or not,” Alexander proclaimed.

Although a few older Tories [who had voted to have George III deemed unfit in 1811] voted in Leopold’s favor, the majority rejected the measure and there was widespread cheering in the streets once the defeat was proclaimed.
An odd compromise came about in which Leopold henceforth was the Titular Regent of Great Britain and would still reside in Alexander’s palaces, castles and homes with the king until Alexander’s 18th Birthday in the hopes the youth would benefit from paternal guidance and keep the extra monies originally allotted to him for the Regency but that all decisions concerning Alexander’s welfare as a Minor would have to be made by a Regency Committee which Leopold himself was bound by with no voting powers. Although Alexander was quite relieved and grateful to Lord Grey and all the other supporters , he was not entirely happy with the judgment which not only mandated Leopold still reside with him but also rejected Alexander’s pleas to have the Durham Regiment and all his other ‘family’ members restored to him.
With Alexander’s help, though, the Reform Bill passed by a large majority in 1831 and slavery would be abolished in all of Great Britain’s colonies that very same year. Alexander also proposed to Earl Grey laws abolishing child labor which he believed enslaved children but Earl Grey and the other Parliamentarians did not share his zeal and this practice would not be abolished during Alexander’s Minority.
For almost entire time Leopold resided with Alexander from that point on, the two barely exchanged a word beyond what was necessary to the tasks at hand and Leopold was somewhat ostracized by his Society and Continental friends for his attempted Usurpation and more than once was hooted in the streets by angry subjects who threw mud, etc. at his carriage with such frequency that he soon had to employ closed, very plain carriages to keep from being pelted. Only Princess Victoria of Kent stood by him- for even her mother[his sister] the Duchess felt embarrassed at being associated with him.

November 5,1835-
Alexander awoke at roughly 3 AM and he could not contain his excitement at his 18th Birthday finally being able to Rule and could only think of no more short haircuts, or wearing shoes for any but the most formal occasions indoors,etc. . However; he was rather surprised to find that he was shocked and saddened that Leopold had had his suite emptied and had departed for Claremont just hours earlier without saying goodbye but just leaving an angry, lengthy note berating Alexander for ‘ ingratitude’ , etc. but telling him he would not give Alexander the satisfaction of throwing out him out as soon as the Parliamentary Mandate had been concluded. Alexander couldn’t help but wonder what Leopold would henceforth do and whether they would be anything but adversaries but tried not to let that dampen his first day of complete . . .

FREEDOM!


 
Interesting set up and I am intrigued with your POD. I do not think that Leopold could have gotten away with so much with his son, but for the sake of argument I will let those go. I will wonder if Alexander will be able to have the monies allotted to Leopold to be rescinded and possibly have the properties seized as well. Not sure if the new King could have his Father arrested or at least expelled from England. I will also wonder on the cronies that Leopold had around will be out on their ear and possibly have umbrage thrust upon them for their actions to the King. Shame that Hung Drawn, and Quartered could not be implemented against the traitors that conspired against their lawful King. ;):eek::D
 
zert,
Thanks for your interest in this. Not to belabor things too much, but inasmuch as in OTL, Victoria's mother and Conroy DID get away with trying to subvert the Heiress Presumptive to their will with a meticulous and Machiavellian plan known as the Kensington System [and this is not mere conjecture but has been documented thanks to the outline by V's half-bro Karl the Prince of Leiningen spilling the beans after her Accession to keep the funds flowing his way], planting stories of her having inherited George III's 'instability' and being allowed to get away with this for years even with both George IV and William IV detesting the two, I don't see it impossible for Leopold in this AH to have attempted something similar with a strong likelihood of success re Parliamentary assistance with Alexander. With few exceptions, minors of both genders were considered nonentities totally at the mercy of their parents even when parental abuse and/or exploitation was known in that time and place.
Well, it remains to be seen what Leopold and Stockmar will reap from all this in the end in this AH but Alexander's just turned 18 and whether he seeks to reconcile with Leopold due to wanting a father [like OTL Victoria eventually did with her initially unrepentant mother] or whether he treats Leopold like a foreign interloper will have to wait.
Again, thanks for reading this and I hope Alexander's reign proves worth following for you.
 
Thanks for reply and feedback. I was aware of some of what happened to Victoria and it is a shame that her Mother got away with so much. My own opinion is there is a difference between the situation between a heir presumtive and actual king but will let it go for sake of the story.

I do look foward to your next chapter and more. I kinda wish you were finished as you really have me intrigued. ;)

Personally I feel Leopold and his cronies should be whipped hung or at least sent to Australia. Alexander should at least strip them of all monies they currently receive from the Government.

For those in Parlinment who voted to support Leopold, they have an enemy in the new King. We shall see how the King gets his followers to take over key positions in time.
 
Very interesting, although I'm not sure if it's plausible to have the row between Alexander and Leopold get out of hand like that. I know Leopold was extremely ambitious, and that crazier things have happened such as the issue with King George IV and Queen Caroline, but... well, I'm just not sure. Then again, I'm not British and not specialized in British history, so who am I to judge?

I do have a few points, however:
1. The King's name. Considering how when Charlotte died in childbirth and her uncles had children with the potential to inherit the throne, they named all of them George (the Duke of Cumberland's son and the Duke of Cambridge's son were both born in 1819 and named George, and when Princess Elizabeth of Clarence was born in 1820, the Duke initially wanted to name her Georgina until George IV talked him out of it. Only Victoria was named 'Alexandrina Victoria', and you could argue that as she was a woman with her father and the Duke of Clarence still able to produce male heirs she wasn't expected to gain the throne) wouldn't Charlotte's son be named George as well? Sure, Leopold would be the surviving parent and he's inclined to pick a name of his own liking, but I imagine there would be pretty high pressure to name the boy George, or at least to have him take that as a regnal name when he becomes King.

2. With the death of Princess Charlotte intact, but with her son surviving, would the Dukes of Clarence, Kent and Cambridge still marry and produce issue? I believe the Duke of Cumberland was already married and he would probably produce the later George V of Hanover, but the others might be doubtful. I could certainly see the Duke of Kent hesitating longer to marry, and if he still dies on schedule he might not have conceived Victoria by the time of his birth yet.

3. How have butterflies affected the world by 1835? Leopold not being King of the Belgians is the most important example of something changed, but I imagine there would be other things as well.
 
Emmett McFly,
Interesting queries you've raised and I thank you for reading this treatment. While your point re extent of the row between Leopold and Alexander not being 'plausible' is not invalid, I hope you forgive me for just directing you towards how I replied to zert on this issue for my defense.
I will go into more detail in addressing your main points:

1. OK, in Part One which explained his life from birth to Accession [which I've linked in the header of Part Two], I did put forth an explanation as to why his parents [in this AH] chose the name. However; I will expand on that a bit by saying that not only was 'Alexander' the name of the Russian Czar who'd brought Charlotte and Leopold together but, since Charlotte herself had lived long enough to bestow the name before her postpartum death, it would have made the Prince Regent even MORE unpopular had it become known that he went against the wishes of his popular but now dead daughter re the name of her surviving child [OTL, folks got upset over him not having her buried in a more accessible chapel than St. George's ] with that and wanting to keep favor with his still strong anti-Napoleonic ally would have prompted him to have left well enough alone re the first name. However; note in this AH that he DID put his own name as the second name, Charlotte's male equivalent for the 3rd and Leopold's for the last. Also, keep in mind that monarchs have the right to choose their OWN reigning name so even with those having been used otherwise, they could surprise everyone by using a middle name [as did Victoria, Edward VII and George VI]. You make a good argument re the prevalence of George as a name used by George III's offspring. However; William IV was somewhat an unimaginative soul to the extent that he named nine of his ten children by his mistress Mrs. Jordan after his own siblings and, as you yourself note, the Prince Regent talked him OUT of naming his tragically short lived daughter 'Georgina'. And I'd like to point out that William's own middle name was Henry but he declined the chance to call himself 'Henry IX'- despite all previous three Williams being rather unpopular with their English subjects. In addition to Alexander being the name of that Russian Czar, it had also been used by three Scottish kings and, natch, that Macedonian conqueror so I have little doubt that the Prince Regent wouldn't have objected to the name on it not being 'regal' enough. Slightly offtopic, if either of us live long enough, it should be interesting to see if the Heir Presumptive's heir, Prince George of Cambridge considers using his own second name of Alexander or even Louis instead of becoming 'George VII' as per Her Majesty's evident wish. OK, I went on a bit here but I have to admit I think names are an interesting topic and I thank you for giving me the chance to discuss this.

2. You make a rather sound argument re how less likely it would have been for the Royal Dukes to have rushed into marriage had Charlotte's son lived[ and, of course I think it would have been virtually nil had Charlotte herself survived]. However; with my twist of a diphtheria attack when he was several months old thrown in, that would have likely gotten everyone to think of how precarious the Hanoverians were in keeping the Throne from descending into chaos with no legit surviving grandkids of George III around. It should be noted that they only got greenlighted into being able to get married in middle age due to their father George III refusing to consider marriages of any but his eldest two sons and eldest daughter amongst his kids [and using that Royal Marriage Act to quash other attempts] and only with him having his regal powers transferred to the more desperate for heirs Prince Regent that they were able to wed. Also, Charlotte and Leopold HAD attempted to hook up her fave uncle the Duke of Kent with Leopold's widowed sister and the Royal Dukes did believe that Parliament would help pay off their huge debts with increased allowances if they hooked up with Protestant princesses so the possibility of Vic's folks choosing to end their complacent existences even without that public plea for the Royal Dukes to start shooting out heirs exists. Ironically,too, before the sudden death via cold turning into pneumonia hastened by excessive cupping& bleeding, the Duke of Kent had been considered the 'strongest of the strong' re George III's offspring so perhaps if Vic hadn't yet existed, he wouldn't have had that Christmas seaside resort vacation and caught that cold but would have lived to have had other children.
OK, I admit I wanted Vic to hang around for this one so I may have tweaked things in her favor to make it happen here. :rolleyes:

3. Yes, there's more than Belgium's monarchy prospects being changed by 1835[ I did have the slavery be outlawed in British colonies three years earlier than OTL] but I didn't detail them inasmuch as I wanted to focus on the power struggle between Leopold and Alexander but I'll let a few more butterflies loose as the AH progresses.

Thanks again for reading this thread and I appreciate the queries. I hope the responses weren't off putting to you.

P.S. I like how you combined Doc Brown's given name with Michael J. Fox's character's surname from that iconic 80's series for your tag.

I hope you like the future chaps!
 
Taking Wing But On a Slightly Altered Course-Part V

[FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The next few months saw Alexander feel quite unbridled as he set about to be King in every way possible that he had been hampered from being in the previous five years of Leopold’s Regency. Almost immediately, he rescinded Leopold’s edicts and commanded the return of the Durham Regiment from their noble families in England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland- respectively. Although some braver courtiers had attempted to advise him of how unfair it would be to their families to have them ‘torn away’ after being reunited with, overall, they had had taken little if any time getting to know their sons after having not seen them more than a month per annum the previous twelve years. In fact, three of the four had been sent to far flung boarding schools within days of being reunited! Only the English member [Lord George Lyttleton, who’d be the 4th Baron Lyttleton] had been with living with his family at the time of being summoned back to Windsor. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Lord Edward Herbert, who’d be 3rd Earl of Powis, was the Welsh Regiment member- the youngest of the group and considered the ‘baby’. He happened to the very same birthday as Alexander but a year younger [having replaced, at age 2 months[!], his predecessor who had died of what was termed crib death a month earlier- thankfully, Alexander and the other Regiment members had no memory of him].[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Then there was Lord Sholto John Douglas [son of the 17th Earl of Morton], the Scottish Regiment member who was somewhat relieved to be taken out of his miserable boarding school but not entirely happy at the prospect of reuniting with the rest of the Regiment- or Alexander.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] When the last of them [the Irish member Lord Edward Michael Pakenham- the eldest son of the 2nd Earl of Longford] arrived in early December, Alexander insisted on the four of them getting inspected - having lodged the others in St. George’s Chapel dean’s quarters in the mean time.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “So, none of you have seen Alley since you first arrived?” Sir Michael asked- as they all awaited Alexander.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “No, he’s insisted we stay with the Dean until you arrived so we could all be inspected together,” Lord George sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I know he’s finally reached Majority and able to Rule instead of just Reign and he had quite a fight with the Regent but do you think he may have been weakened by the fight?” Lord Edward asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Weakened? “ Lord Sholto scoffed as the four of them spied Alexander walking strolling towards the Rectory.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] The others gasped at the sight of their onetime companion who now towered above them for Alexander had grown to his full height of 6’5” .[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “By Jove! He’s a human behemoth !I think even Atlas himself would have dropped the weight of the world at the sight of him !” Lord Edward gasped while all the others nodded.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] After the perfunctory re-introductions by the Dean, Alexander walked around each Regiment member then shook his head.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “What’s happened to the four of you?” Alexander demanded to know.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “What do you mean, Alley?” Lord George replied- as Alexander grabbed his right bicep with such force, Lord George thought the muscle and bone would rupture in moments upon being compressed by the King’s steel grip.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “In less than five years, you four have gone from being mighty warriors to being as pasty-faced and flabby as young ladies’ governesses,” Alexander sighed while pacing.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “We couldn’t help it. We were sent to dark, drafty schools, fed unspeakable swill, shut out from the outdoors and chained to schoolbenches all waking hours without any kind of exercise,” Lord Edward replied.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “And how did you come to smell of cheap whiskey and tobacco? You’re no good to the Kingdom if you poison your lungs, bodies and brains with that!” Alexander fumed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But that’s what gentlemen do . ..” Lord Michael sputtered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “You’re supposed to be my flank troops and the five of us are supposed to be unstoppable. We used to be,” Alexander fumed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But, Alley, we’re supposed to tend our estates and inheritances and have others labor for us, “ Lord Sholto tried to reply. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “What kind of rot is that?! Even when the four of you were torn from me and Father tried to break me, I maintained the regimen Swami taught us every single day without fail and there are few if any men in my Realm who’d dare challenge me unarmed!” Alexander proclaimed as he grasped the stone column by the fireplace mantle and with both hands then pulled his feet and the rest of his body off the floor until he was perfectly horizontal as a ‘human flag’.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But you were always bigger and stronger than the rest of us,” Lord Edward sputtered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “When we make our entrance into Westminster Abbey, I don’t want my subjects to think of us as an Irish wolfhound surrounded by toy poodles but as five wolfhounds,” Alexander proclaimed as he proceeded to do a ‘pull up’ while still horizontal before pushing himself off the mantle altogether and landing on his feet twenty feet from the spot he’d originally stood. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“But what can we do? We can’t possibly grow as tall as you now!” Lord Sholto sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ It’s not height but your sulky defeatism that can and will be overcome! “ Alexander declared as he walked over the large table where a platter of oranges awaited.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Kew Greenhouse oranges. Am I right, Alley?” Lord George asked- as Alexander tossed each of them an orange.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Freshest in the land! If my Royal Navy can stay seaworthy with ancient, dried limes in the farthest reaches of the globe, imagine how unstoppable the four of you will be again with these oranges,” Alexander proclaimed as tore one open.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] The four Regiment members felt quite ashamed and dumbfounded but couldn’t deny how good those oranges tasted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Come on, Brothers! We’re together again! No need to be sad!” Alexander proclaimed as he wrapped his arms as best he could around them and hugged.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “So, Alley,when do you plan on your Coronation?” Lord Sholto [the closest in proximity to Alexander] gasped he as could hardly breathe for the vice grip.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Saturday, June 26th of ’36–rain or shine- so there’s time enough to train the four of you!” Alexander proclaimed as he [to the others’ relief] broke the hug and thrust his right fist into the air. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]. . .[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]. . .[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]For the next few months, Alexander trained them relentlessly with almost nonstop calisthenics exercises, horseback riding, running, climbing , Pehlawi wrestling , ice skating,etc. to say nothing of overhauling their ‘poisonous’ diets and putting them back in ‘practical’ attire. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] As it turned out, at age eighteen, Lord Sholto had developed a very pronounced alcohol habit and in the next few weeks would develop what would be termed the delirium tremens [or DT’s] as his body was abruptly deprived. Alexander alone could hold him down as he thrashed in horrible withdrawal pains but by the first part of February, he had managed to overcome it with Alexander and the Regiment’s help and was nearly as physically fit as the other three. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Now is the time for us to make our first battle- helping the young debutantes as they get introduced into that labyrinth we titled classes must traverse,” Alexander sighed as they all finished straightening their cravats before making their entrance into Windsor Castle’s Great Hall- on the night of Thursday, February 25, 1836.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “You mean. ..?” asked Lord Michael.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “That’s right, Mikey! Society! But, Brothers, it has its compensations. Namely the rewards these fair damsels can bestow us for our assistance!” Alexander replied with a twitch of his eyebrows. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Presenting Their Royal Highnesses, the Duke and Duchess of Cumberland and their son, Prince George of Cumberland,” an usher decried.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Alley, I knew that George Cumberland had impaired sight but I didn’t know it had gotten so bad as him having to be led around by his mother,” Lord George gasped as he saw the 16-year-old prince being led by his nearly 58-year-old mother.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “And THAT is whom Aunt Kent wants to saddle Cousin Vic with,” Alexander sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But why?” Lord Edward asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Because, Wardo, Uncle William of Hanover’s not well and Uncle Cumberland and his boy are likely the next kings so this way Vic gets to be Queen and she can have Aunt and the late Uncle Kent’s debts paid off,” Alexander explained with a shudder.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I’d have thought she’d have tried to have YOU marry her daughter,” Lord Sholto laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Who said Aunt Kent didn’t, Sholt? However; we’re double cousins and any children would have tails or some other calamities- to say nothing of Vic needing stilts for us to converse and my having to endure Aunt Kent for a mother-in-law,” Alexander sighed while the others laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “”And now, ladies and gentlemen and honored guests, it is my privilege to announce the arrival of His Majesty, the King accompanied by the Durham Regiment !” the usher proclaimed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Thank God he didn’t say all my titles or else the orchestra would have grown too old to remember ‘God Save the King,’” Alexander whispered as the five of them made their entrance with the Regiment bowing upon the entrance itself then every other man in the room doing the same while all the women curtsied. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Thank you, My Lord Chamberlain. And welcome everyone to Queen Charlotte’s Birthday Ball. Ladies and gentlemen and honored guests, you may rise!” Alexander proclaimed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Alley, I just thought of something,” Lord Edward gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I thought I smelt something burning, Wardo,” Alexander chuckled as he banged Lord Edward’s shoulder being careful to be gentle.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Wasn’t Her Late Majesty’s actual birthday in May ?” Lord Edward whispered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Yes, but chalk it up to another of Great-Grandpapa’s quirks to have it done months in advance to try to please Great-Grandmama. Now our guests didn’t come here to watch us whisper. We need to mingle and guide the debutantes,” Alexander insisted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] After all the debutantes were introduced to Alexander , the rest of the Royal Family and the Durham Regiment, the banquet was served . To most guests’ chagrin, this had large portions of vegetables, vegetable soups, multigrain breads, only one meat [baked trout ]course, fresh Kew Greenhouse fruits for the dessert and served a single small glass of wine for the liquor which Alexander was observed to slowly sip for the entire meal –meaning no other guests were served further for the duration. Although fresh cow’s milk and spring water were liberally served, Alexander was one of the few who drank more than a few sips of those liquids. Afterwards, the ball itself soon began.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] In a short time, Alexander filled out the dance cards of virtually all the debutantes who struggled to reach his far above average height despite him bending down but virtually all of them were enraptured at the thought of the young King having danced with them at their very first Society event. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “If I may ask His Majesty’s permission, might I possibly squeeze your forearm. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one so huge outside of statuary!” a young lady was heard to ask.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Milady, you flatter me and I shall be more than honored to oblige- provided that you pledge £200 to The King’s Bounty!” Alexander beamed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Well, of course, my papa will be happy to honor such a pledge!” the young lady squealed as she filled out a promissory note then squeezed it.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Ooh, my! Sir, it feels as solid as a statue’s!” the young lady sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Your Majesty, how much for the bicep?” asked another young lady-as she curtsied.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “A mere £500 – and remember it all goes to The King’s Bounty!” Alexander proclaimed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] In very short order, the Great Hall was virtually clear of dancers as virtually all debutantes sought to squeeze Alexander’s forearms and biceps.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Does Your Majesty think he can lift me off the floor with just one arm?” a redheaded debutante was heard to ask as she stood in line.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “No, Edwina, I want His Majesty to attempt to lift me!” sniffed a blonde debutante.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Now, ladies. No need to fight. I shall lift both of you off the floor simultaneously- for a mere £1000 each to The King’s Bounty!” Alexander smirked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] At that , the two of them stood on either side of him as he motioned for each of them to grab a forearm at the wrist and he did indeed lift them off the floor as he horizontally raised his arms to a straight parallel line to his shoulders- then repeated this another fifty times as the line of debutantes couldn’t believe their fortune.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Remember, the Durham Regiment has every qualification a lady could want for a husband and I’ve been honored to help hone them into who they are today so it is my wish that all of you give them the chance to befriend you,” Alexander proclaimed with a laugh as he attempted to thin the cluster of giggling debutantes surrounding him a bit. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Now, Fanny, please don’t make a scene. We’ve just been introduced to Society,” a debutante pleaded with her friend.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ If that is anything how Society behaves, I’d rather become a hermit!” Lady Frances Anne Emily Vane [born 1822- the daughter of the 3rd Marquis of Londonberry] sniffed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] She was a slightly taller than average, redhaired, buxom girl who did not[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Is there something amiss?” Alexander asked as he walked over to the disagreeing pair.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Your Majesty!”Lady Frances’s friend [whose name has been lost to history] gasped as both of them curtsied.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Now, I asked a question I’d like an answer to. Is there something amiss here that you two ladies might enlighten me about?” Alexander asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Oh, of course not, Your Majesty. The cuisine and orchestra have been outstanding so if Your Majesty will please excuse my friend and I, “ Lady Frances’s friend pleaded as she curtsied and started to back away.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “There most certainly are things amiss, Your Majesty,” Lady Frances fumed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Now, Lady Frances didn’t mean anything. ..” the friend pleaded.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Don’t tell try to tell me what I meant. I find this entire debacle appalling, Your Majesty,” Lady Frances fumed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Alley, are you going to let. ..?” Lord Michael started to ask- as he came over to the where Alexander was standing.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ Not let a fellow ginger speak her mind? Never. It would as treacherous as ignoring Boadicea!” Alexander whispered with a laugh.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Does Your Majesty think this is funny? Well, not nearly as ludicrous as attending the premiere Society event without bothering with hose!” Lady Frances sniffed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “My calves are well-formed so why shouldn’t I display them au naturale” Alexander laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “That’s not the custom for gentlemen,” Lady Frances admonished.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Ah, but far more practical !Why shouldn’t I be practical in my own house?” Alexander replied.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Practical?” Lady Frances asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Indeed. The more one romps on hose and shoes, the more quickly they become thin and fragile whilst the more romps on the feet the Creator made, the thicker and stronger they become which is why I’ve ignored the hose altogether tonight and will soon forsake these custom made dancing shoes to directly embrace the dance floor ,” Alexander laughed- as he flexed his toes inside the flat, low vamp black wide-toed leather shoes.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Ridiculous! It’s February and snowing outside,” Lady Frances sniffed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But not inside and we’re warm enough. Besides you can’t tell me that you don’t envy my not needing to bother with the movements of garters and belts under my breeches whilst dancing ,” Alexander explained.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Discussing. . . unmentionables in front of a lady. Why that’s almost as vulgar as the entire spectacle of Your Majesty extorting naïve, silly girls to squeeze your physique as though you’re a circus,” Lady Frances gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Extorting? I left the choice of squeezing or not squeezing said to each of them,” Alexander chuckled.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “As though Your Royal Muscles would not be the objects of veneration amongst debutantes. ‘ Oh, how Your Majesty ‘s arm is as solid as a statue !’” Lady Frances sneered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Why should this be any of your concern?” Alexander asked- starting to lose his smile.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Because when I think of all the monies Your Majesty had them endow into Your Majesty’s already brimming coffers when each donation was far more than most laborers’ annual salaries- to say nothing of the unbridled titillation Your Majesty has indulged in each and every time Your Majesty’s muscles were squeezed. It makes my blood boil!” Lady Frances fumed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Lady Frances, we can have your carriage readied. I think you should take leave here at . ..” Lord George pleaded while all the other members of the Durham Regiment and a large number of guests who’d overheard the conversation nodded vigorously.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Georgie, everyone, there’s no need to be inhospitable to this fine lady. Everything she’s said is perfectly true. I have been taking great pleasure at the coffers being enriched every time my muscles were grasped,” Alexander confessed – to the gasps of the crowd.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ Your Majesty,” Lady Frances gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Now I command everyone else to venture to the other side of the Great Hall so I may conclude the conversation with Lady Frances alone,” Alexander ordered with everyone hastily backing away from the duo.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] As soon as they were alone- though with everyone straining to eavesdrop.. .[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “What is the meaning of this, Your Majesty?” Lady Frances asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Yes, you see, Lady Frances, The King’s Bounty is a fund I’ve set up to put roofs on laborers’ homes, provide scholarships to intelligent if not high born boys, provide medical care for indigent ailers, feed and clothe orphans, shelter destitute elderly and help African freedmen adapt to their new land- amongst other needs. So may I ask your candid opinion, Lady Frances?” Alexander asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Of course, Your Majesty,” Lady Frances gulped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “You’ve grown up with and have been acquainted with most if not all of these young ladies who so eagerly parted with pin money just to squeeze the Royal Muscles. Do you think it would have occurred to any of them or their wealthy families to have spent a penny to help those in true need beyond keeping appearances when collection plates get passed during services?” Alexander asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “No, sir. I honestly don’t believe that the majority of them or their families would have considered using any of their monies for that purpose,” Lady Frances admitted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “So, you see, every time I take pleasure in having my muscles squeezed and stroked, it’s with the thought of the dozens of worthy people being helped by those very folks who’d otherwise never considered parting with a pence on their behalves and tonight my exercise regimen raised over £250,000 – a quarter million Pounds , “ Alexander smirked .[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Your Majesty!” Lady Frances gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I bid you au revior, fair lady- and know that if you ever wish to squeeze the Royal Muscles, all you need do is to ask and I will flex them at your command- your company all the compensation I require,” Alexander smirked as he winked then turned away from her. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Alley, I can’t believe how that daughter of the Marquis of Londonberry talked to you,” Lord Sholto gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Marvellous, isn’t it?” Alexander smirked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “You’re not planning on trying to make her your mistress, are you?” Lord Michael gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “She’d never consent to such a thing even if her parents might want that for her,” Alexander laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Quite so! You’re still only eighteen and she’s not yet fourteen so you have plenty of time for other mistresses,” Lord George laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Quite true. No shortage of milkmaids and other girls eager to be able to bed a King,” Alexander smirked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “So are you going to just let her speak to you like that without any kind of retaliation?” Lord Sholto asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “What’s there to retaliate against? She spoke what she believed to be the truth and it’s not just you four that a King needs to hear it from!” Alexander insisted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “So what does that mean, Alley?” Lord Edward asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I intend to get to know that heiress’s daughter as much as she allows- and, if she reciprocates, when the time is right, I intend to turn Parliament on its ear with my ultimate decision on her!” Alexander declared.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But she’s a commoner - not a princess!” Lord Sholto gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “She’s Protestant and her father was born a Stewart. He desired her heiress mother enough to take her surname,” Alexander quipped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “True, a Protestant but not a prin-. ..” Lord Michael pleaded [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “She’s already a Queen in her own right! I say our first battle went quite triumphantly, Brothers! “ Alexander laughed –to the astonishment to the Regiment.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Preparations for the Coronation soon took up a great deal of everyone’s time- and Alexander was somewhat grateful that even those red, governmental boxes didn’t seem to come as full or frequently for him to peruse and initial. Thankfully, he was a speed reader and could usually read through and write any notes and orders necessary in no more than two hours on any given day. However; more than one legislator wished the King was not so meticulously detailed in both what he retained and what he commanded/advised. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] .[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]On the morning of Saturday, June 26, 1836 with the sun rising over an astonishly cloudless sky, the crowds outside Buckingham Palace eagerly awaited their first glimpse of Alexander as he was expected to proceed to Westminster Abbey for the Coronation. With each Royal family member departing by more elaborate carriages for the ceremony as each emerged closer to precedence to Alexander than the other, it was expected that Alexander that would proceed in Gold State Coach that had been constructed for George IV’s own Coronation. Therefore, they were quite astonished to see the Durham Regiment emerge from the Royal Mews gate all in Macedonian regalia complete with soldiers’ helmets astride white Arabian stallions but even that did not prepare them for the first glimpse of their king. With a groomsman in Palace leading a large black stallion with a white star on his head and an African leopard hide blanket on his back, Alexander ran from behind the large horse and leapfrogged directly from the Mews flagstones to the horse’s back in a single bound.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Alexander had grown his hair back to necklength to cover that telltale mangled right ear. For his Coronation, he wore was what he believed to be Macedonian armor as closely copied as possible from the Alexander Mosiac unearthed from Pompeii only five years earlier that King Ferdinand II of the Kingdom of Two Sicilies had given to Alexander- albeit with some modifications. For instance, instead of a solid iron muscle cuirass torso cover, Alexander had fashioned a cuirass from Cape Colony rhinoceros hide to represent that extremity of his domains , and on his feet he wore sandals in Classical Greek style but made from Australian kangaroo hide to represent that extremity. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Onwards, Bucephalus! Our Anoiting Awaits!” Alexander was heard to shout as he grabbed the reins and the large stallion soon reared on his hind legs and neighed quite loudly to the cheers of all the spectators.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Although the Regiment was supposed to ride surrounding flanking Alexander on all sides, Alexander (and Bucephalus[ whom he’d very carefully picked and personally trained] were too eager to stay behind and spent most of the ride at a trot ahead of the others while waving and shouting to the adoring crowd.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] It was only shortly before they reached Westminster Abbey itself, that the Regiment was able to catch up to Alexander and Bucephalus- or rather the royal rider and horse finally slowed their pace enough to allow it. Then, Alexander and the others dismounted their horses before proceeding into the North Entrance where attendants soon put on the Robe Royal over Alexander’s Macedonian armor. Afterwards, the Coronation proceeded virtually unchanged from times previously including having the Archbishop of Canterbury Anoiting Alexander’s head ,hands and heart while Alexander sat on King Edward’s Chair with the Archbishop placing St. Edward’s Crown on Alexander’s head. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Alexander did do one departure in the usual procedure, when the Sword of State was presented to him, he wildly swung it in the air like a fencing rapier tossing- from hand to hand then raised it with his right hand above his head while he loudly declared,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ Let it be known that during my Rule, there is no need for a King’s Champion for not only am I able to Champion my own rights but I hereby declare that I am My Kingdoms’ Champion and any individual or entity that dares to attempt to threaten my realm or my subjects will have me vanquish them as their sworn foe!”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Yet, despite the large and enthusiastic crowd including the Royal Family, his friends and, to Alexander’s delight, the Marquess of Londonberry’s family, Alexander felt surprisingly upset at the marked absence of Leopold. Despite Alexander having personally invited his father, the former Regent had deliberately waited to the last minute to make his intended absence known so that there would be one empty seat of honor that would be unable to be filled in time. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] This slight would not be overlooked by Alexander and Leopold would soon live to regret it.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Instead of a Coronation Banquet in Westminster Hall [which was still intact along with the Houses of Parliament – though no one realized it this was thanks to Alexander insisting the ancient, outmoded tally sticks be distributed as fuel to the destitute rather than wastefully burned in the Parliament stove], Alexander instead held a Coronation Picnic in Hyde Park which provided a free meal to 50,000 subjects along with a wide assortment of games and outdoor activities in which Alexander himself was an eager participant in [to the nervousness of the Royal Guard]. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] At the very end of the very long day, Alexander was back at St. George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle in his Macedonian armor and ventured into the Royal Vault where he raised a small gold goblet of Madeira wine which he held aloft to George IV’s vault while he toasted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “We did it, Grandpapa! I know you and Mama were there! Now I rule as you always wished for me and shall find a Queen to make a family to endure long after the Hanoverians are no longer memories but just names,” Alexander declared- as he drank his only alcohol for the day.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
 
Glad you like this, Darth. Yes, Alexander is growing into his own. Oh, and there's at least one possible butterfly that's been unleashed here that could prove bigger than Parliament not burning from the pile of used tally sticks back in 1834.
 
Can Rule Conquer All? -Part Six

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Kew Palace, early July, 1836-[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “It’s all set, Your Majesty!” The Prime Minister Lord Melbourne exclaimed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Good, the sooner this issue is resolved the better!” exclaimed Alexander as he searched for the Royal Seal to make the final impression in the wax securing the letter but kicked it beneath the writing desk, then kicked the chair hard enough to break it. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “May I ask what is bothering, Your Majesty?” Lord Melbourne gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I know I’m doing what needs to be done but I can’t help but wish there was a way for us to be reconciled,” Alexander sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “If I may say so, Your Majesty, I know many in Society believe my greatest regret is how my late wife allowed Lord Byron to make a fool of both of us but even that pales in comparison to what befell our son Augustus,” Lord Melbourne sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Forgive me, Lord Melbourne, but I didn’t know that you ever had a son,” Alexander gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “He’s been blessed with a strong body like Your Majesty but cursed with feeblemindedness and seizures. He would have been a beggar or asylum inmate had he been not been cared for by us,” Lord Melbourne sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Oh, I’m sorry, Lord Melbourne. I didn’t know. Odd that the vicious gossip about your late wife still swirls about yet none mention the burden the two of you had to shoulder all that time,” Alexander sighed as he patted Lord Melbourne on the shoulder.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ Thank you, Your Majesty. Sir, as you get older you will find that the plights of the truly suffering aren’t anywhere as entertaining to the smallminded as the pettiest gossip, ”Lord Melbourne groaned.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “So, you think I’m doing wrong by the action towards His Highness Prince Leopold?” Alexander asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “On the contrary. Had I been fated to have a son like you I would have done everything to support him at the expense of my own ambitions- not treat him as though he were an imbecile to be exploited! I only hope His Highness comes to realize how it was he who failed to appreciate the gift given to him not vice versa,” Lord Melbourne proclaimed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]. .[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] . .[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Coburg, mid July 1836[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] At Ehrenburg Palace, Leopold had just arrived all set to help arrange his nephew Prince Ferdinand to Queen Maria II of Portugal having insisted negotiations be delayed until his arrival in the aftermath of Alexander’s Majority.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] There a messenger presented him with the following letter:[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Kew Palace, July 2nd, 1836[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] The King[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]To His Highness Leopold, Prince of Saxe-Coburg Gotha,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] In the action of pointedly rejecting His Majesty’s Invitation to the Coronation [issued in an effort to attempt to include His Highness in a historic event that can never be duplicated- for the sakes of seeking civility, Christian charity and keeping the Fifth Commandment which His Highness has endlessly accused His Majesty of not honoring] as well His Highness’s departure from His Majesty’s domain without any attempt at notification, His Majesty has no choice but to conclude that His Highness has quitclaim all his properties and monies within Great Britain. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Said properties and monies [including the Clairmont Estate which had been so generously provided by the People of Great Britain upon His Highness’s marriage to Her Late Highness Princess Charlotte of Wales as well as the £50,000 annum allowance] will be considered henceforth to be the sole property of His Majesty as compensation for avoiding any further public trials in which His Majesty’s Court could easily render His Highness guilty of such crimes- including abetting and participating in assaults on His Majesty’s Person and Character in the time following His Late Majesty, King George IV’s Death. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Furthermore, by His Highness’s relocation to his birthplace, it is understood that His Highness is no longer a British subject [almost every one of whom would have happily taken His Highness’s Seat in Westminster for the Coronation] and will be addressed as by his premarital title of His Serene Highness from this point onwards on the Continent. Lastly, His Majesty would like to take this opportunity to notify His Highness that his brethren that compose the Durham Regiment are forever free to address His Majesty by his Christian name but His Highness has forfeited that privilege.. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Most Sincerely,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Alexander Rex[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Leopold wasted no time to get Stockmar to contact his legal team to appeal to Parliament and have these measures overturned- only to find out that Alexander had already anticipated these actions and had had issued Letters Patent as well as had the necessary Parliamentary decrees enacted to enforce these measures.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But why are you rejecting my nephew as a husband to Her Majesty? He hasn’t done anything!” Leopold sputtered-in German was then translated to the head of the Portuguese Delegation a few days later as they started their departure from Coburg.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “If his own family has this much instability, how can we expect him to establish any authority with Her Majesty over Portugal and all its overseas domains?” sniffed the Portuguese Delegation leader as he and the rest exited while his response was translated back to German as the Portuguese team quickly made their exit.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] . . .[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] . . .[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]. . [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Kensington Palace, August, 1836-[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Your Highness, Lady Frances has arrived for tea!” exclaimed the footman named Jenkins in Victoria’s sitting room- which had Victoria’s beloved governess Baroness Louise Lehzen in attendance as well ‘Conroy barnacles’ Lady Flora Hastings and Conroy’s own 16-year-old daughter called Victoire.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Thank you, Jenkins. Please show her in straight away!” 17-year-old Princess Victoria of Kent replied as 14-year-old Lady Frances Vane was shown in.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Fanny, it’s so good to see you again!” exclaimed Victoria as she planted a kiss on the markedly taller Lady Frances’s chin and took her right hand.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Thank you, Your Highness, for inviting me to tea while Mother’s at the milliner’s,” Lady Frances replied as she sat down at the chair at the tea table which Victoria directed her.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “You seemed to need the company and this would be a good time for us to be able to discuss matters. ..ALONE,” Victoria insisted while looking sharply at Lady Flora and Victoire Conroy.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But, Your Highness, you know Her Highness’s [ the Duchess of Kent] rule that we must be around to see that Your Highness doesn’t become overstrained with company,” Lady Flora replied.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “And Father would find us remiss!” Lady Victoire Conroy piped up.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “No, I have not forgotten Mamma’s rules,” Princess Victoria sighed as she started to walk over to an adjoining writing desk.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “They are for your own good, Your Highness,”Lady Flora sniffed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Oh, I hope everyone will excuse for a minute while I dash off a brief letter to dear Feodora [Victoria’s elder half sister now married and living in Germany],” Princess Victoria of Kent insisted as she walked over to a nearby and opened a drawer took a small inkpot from a nearby desk along with some blank paper and a new quill pen.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Of course, Ma’am,” Lady Victoria Conroy smirked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Oh my! Lady Flora, this inkwell seems to have dried up. Could you go and fetch Grigsby and have him bring a fresh inkwell?” Princess Victoria asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Ma’am, it was refilled just this morning and I don’t think I should take leave to. ..” Lady Flora protested as she approached the desk[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] At that moment, Princess Victoria shook it- then threw the entire contents onto Lady Flora’s turquoise silk gown.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Oh, my! I think it was refilled,” Princess Victoria gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Why you little bit-. ..bitty scamp!” Lady Flora seethed as she caught herself just in time.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Oh, Lady Flora, you’re not suitably attired to attend tea. You’ll need to change clothes straight away!” Princess Victoria warned.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But. ..but,” Lady Flora sputtered as she vainly tried to rub off the large ink stain with a tea soaked white linen napkin- which only spread the stain.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Lady Flora, I seriously doubt Her Highness the Duchess would want you to remain here in such stained attire,” Baroness Lehzen warned.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Very well!” Lady Flora fumed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] At that, Lady Frances and Victoria exchanged a sly, secret smile while Lady Flora furiously exited.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Could I have some tea now?” Lady Victoire Conroy whined.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Not just yet. It will upset your digestion,” Baroness Lehzen insisted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But I’m thirsty and. .” Lady Victoire Conroy insisted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Now, Baroness, if Miss Conroy wants tea. I’ll be happy to give her mine,” Princess Victoria insisted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Why thank you, Your Highness! ” Lady Victoire smirked as she took a large sip from the cup the Princess offered her.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Your Highness. The tea was good enough for ‘Dash’, correct?” Baroness Lehzen asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Yes, indeed! ‘Dash’ couldn’t lick the dish enough after I let him have some!” Princess Victoria laughed as she pointed the cup Victoire Conroy was drinking while hugging her adored King Charles spaniel.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “You. ..you let me drink from the same dish as a DOG?!” Victoire Conroy gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Now, Miss Conroy. It was perfectly clean and ‘Dash’ wasn’t the least perturbed,” Princess Victoria laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Eww! I’ve drunk DOG SPITTLE!”Victoire Conroy shrieked as she ran from the room[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Ma’am, that was mean!” Lady Frances sputtered as she tried not to laugh.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Why? I can’t help it if Miss Conroy thought I had let ‘Dash’ drink from the teacup itself instead of the saucer,” Princess Victoria laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Did you want their company, Lady Frances?” asked Baroness Lehzen.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “No, I can’t say I did. I know what horrible gossips and talebearers both of them are,” Lady Frances sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I know the measures were a bit extreme but I know by your letter you wanted to speak to me alone and this is the only way to obtain even a few minutes respite,” Princess Victoria sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “As curious as to what you two young ladies may speak of, I will remove myself from the sitting room and stand guard against the reinforcements,” Baroness Lehzen volunteered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Thank you, Baroness,” Princess Victoria replied.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Ma’am, I’m sorry you had to go to so much trouble,”Lady Frances sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Pay it no mind. Even a few minutes without those buzzards hovering is worth the many hours of lectures and privileges being taken away that will result,” Princess Victoria sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ I only hope they won’t bar me from visiting you after this,” Lady Frances sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Neither stunt was your doing –just Her Highness’s, “Baroness Lehzen while patting both Lady Frances and Princess Victoria on the shoulders.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Again, thank you, Ma’am. There’s so much I need to discuss that I don’t know where to begin,” Lady Frances replied as she took a sip of her tea but with a quick glance to ‘Dash’ to make sure he didn’t want any.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Could this have anything to do with the attentions my Majestic Cousin has been paying to you since Queen Charlotte’s Birthday Ball?” Princess Victoria asked which provoked a gasp on Lady Frances’s part.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Ma’am. I swear I’ve never so much as been in his company alone since then,” Lady Frances gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I know, Fanny, but Alley’s hardly made a secret of his infatuation for you. Having you and your family seated in the one of the best rows during the Coronation- and giving you the Royal Eye throughout,” Princess Victoria laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “It’s somewhat embarrassing. I never asked for His Majesty’s attention and now to be targeted as though I’m to be . ..Oh, I don’t want to say,” Lady Frances sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Fanny, do you think his intentions are dishonourable?” Princess Victoria asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I don’t know what to think- to be honest,” Lady Frances groaned.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ Has he made any more . .. gestures since the Coronation?” Princess Victoria asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Yes. He’s extended an invitation to my entire family to Windsor Castle to view The Mosaic,” Lady Frances explained.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ Do you mean The Mosaic itself and not the painted reproduction in the Great Hall?” Princess Victoria asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Yes, The Mosaic itself,” Lady Frances sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Oh My! That does sound serious. He’s allowed very few people to see it since he had it reassembled. I’ve never seen it,” Princess Victoria gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “As curious as I am to see the work and. . .other curiosities, I’m not entirely sure it would be worth the outcome,” Lady Frances sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “If you don’t want to see His Majesty again, then you need to tell him so he may pursue other . . .interests,” Princess Victoria replied as she poured another cup of tea for herself.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “That’s just it, Ma’am. I . .. I would hope to become . ..better acquainted with him and. ..”Lady Frances said with a blush.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “You and virtually every other young girl who has seen his profile on the Sovereign coins,” Princess Victoria laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “It’s not like that, Ma’am. Yes, I admit that I find him quite handsome in looks and would even if he were a mere ditchdigger but that’s not it,” Lady Frances confessed- as she spooned some sugar into her tea and stirred it.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “What it is then, Fanny?” Princess Victoria asked-as she took Lady Frances’s right hand.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I just wish there was a way I could split in two halves. One half following my impulses and becoming acquainted with him even to that half’s ruin- and the other half aloof and able to choose my own destiny unscathed,” Lady Frances explained.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I see. Perhaps, you can, Fanny!” Princess Victoria exclaimed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “How could I possibly. ..?” Lady Frances asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Perhaps if you made it clear that you were to be always chaperoned if he is to court you,” Princess Victoria opined.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Court me?! He’d never consider marrying someone of such rank as myself,” Lady Frances gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Don’t be so certain. Cousin Alley has been known to flout convention even with Parliament. Would you not want to be Queen ?”Princess Victoria asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Queen?! Isn’t that a bit premature?” Lady Frances asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Besides Alley’s looks and his Crown, what could possibly interest. ..?” Princess Victoria started to ask.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I think there is far more to His Majesty that just that , ” Lady Frances admitted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “That’s quite an astute observation. You know, ‘Dash’ loves it when Alley visits us here,” Princess Victoria laughed-as she patted her dog.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ He does?” Lady Frances asked as the dog barked while Princess Victoria petted him.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Oh, indeed! It’s not often ‘Alley’ comes here what with Mama and the Aunts being so meddlesome but ‘Dashy’ jumps up and down and can’t wait for ‘Alley’ to wrestle him,” Princess Victoria laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I can’t imagine a bear would want His Majesty to wrestle him. I mean, His Majesty bends steel bars like treacle[ taffy],” Lady Frances gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Oh, ‘Alley’ lets him win every time!” Princess Victoria laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Well, if ‘Dash’ likes His Majesty, then that’s a good endorsement beyond the Crown,” Lady Frances laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ ‘Dash’ is an excellent judge of character. He’s never liked Sir John despite Sir John presenting him to me,” Princess Victoria whispered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Do you think I should . .. become better acquainted with His Majesty?” Lady Frances asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Well, if you want my opinion, perhaps you should see if he’s amenable to seeing you properly chaperoned while you become better acquainted,” Princess Victoria opined.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But what if he and I prove entirely incompatible? Even with the chaperones there could be the risk of. . .” Lady Frances sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Isn’t just living itself a risk?” Princess Victoria asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I suppose so, Ma’am,” Lady Frances half-laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Besides- even if you only just got to see The Mosaic and the bond went no further, that alone would be worth telling future generations,” Princess Victoria laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “VICTORIA!” the Duchess of Kent was heard screaming from down the hall.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Oh, no. It appears our talk has come to an end,” Lady Frances sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “True but the talk itself will maintain me as they attempt to break me- yet again. No worries. This won’t go any further than me,” Princess Victoria sighed as she and Lady Frances clutched hands before the Duchess of Kent, Sir John Conroy stormed past Baroness Lehzen then proceeded to make barely civil conversation with Lady Frances Vane before abruptly sending her home then screaming insults and accusations for some hours at Princess Victoria as soon as Lady Frances’s carriage door closed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]. .. .[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]. .0000[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Late August, 1836- Windsor Castle[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Alley, should we make ourselves scarce?” asked Lord Sholto Douglas while the other members of the Durham Regiment nodded.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “No, if I am to become acquainted with Fanny and the Vane Family, they need to know who my family is,” Alexander sighed as patted all of them on the shoulders while they all stood in the Great Hall dressed in their finest Dragoon uniforms.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But she’s still quite young and. ..” Lord George Lyttleton tried to say.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I know there are four years between us but, in a few years, she will mature into a fine Queen – if that is her destiny,” Alexander admitted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Do you believe that showing them The Mosaic will seal the deal?” Lord Sholto asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “It could be a good step,” Alexander shrugged.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Your Majesty, may I present Lord Charles and Lady Frances Vane, 3rd Marquess and Marchioness of Londonberry and their children ”proclaimed the Lord Chamberlain.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] At once the Vane Family with Lady Frances and two of her four brothers as well as her two sisters ranging in age from 6 to 15 were shown in [her eldest half-brother Lord Frederick Stewart(aged 31)was detained by jury duty- while her youngest Lord Ernest Vane was just months old and at home with his nursemaid].[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] All of them bowed at the sight of Alexander.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “You may rise now! I thank all of you for accepting my invitation to view The Mosaic,”Alexander proclaimed- as he and the Durham Regiment led the Vane family down into the Great Hall.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I don’t recall it being displayed here during the Birthday Ball,” proclaimed Lady Frances’ 36-year-old mother Lady Vane.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “We have the Reproduction here but the original is somewhat less public,”Alexander explained as they soon walked towards the back.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Why are walking to the back staircase?” asked Lord Vane.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “It’s the way towards the Mosaic,”explained Alexander as he and the Regiment approached a table with awaiting candle sticks that Alexander approached with a large wooden match which he struck then lit for them and their guests.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Are we going somewhere without its own regular candle supply?” asked Lady Frances.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Very astute observation- and I trust all of you will be careful with the wicks,” Alexander warned as they all took glass lamps while he led the way down the stairs into the lengthy basement.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Although almost all the doors were locked and sealed, a few were cracked open enough to reveal the used furniture and stores of coal and kindling wood found within. Finally, at the very end of the corridor, Alexander unlocked a door from a set of keys he’d had tied to his waist- then turned on a knob directly inside.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “It looks like. You have gaslight here? But nowhere else in Windsor Castle has it!” Lady Frances gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Correct, I can’t chance candles spilling their wax and forever spoiling what took so long to build, excavate and re-assemble,” Alexander admonished-as he turned a knob that released the gas, then used his candle to light the gas jets before snuffing it out at the base of a short staircase just inside the door.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “There’s another staircase and a catwalk inside- and it appears to be a steel staircase. Why not wood?” asked Lady Frances’s brother 15-year-old Lord George Vane.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Wood?! Too easily to catch fire and all wood eventually crumbles to dust and rots. No steel’s the only thing for this room!” Alexander explained.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] They all climbed the three feet tall staircase to the platform from which catwalks branched from but then. .. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Where’s The Mosaic? All we see are these stone walls!” scoffed Lady Vane while the rest of the family nodded.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Happens every time, Your Majesty!” laughed Lord Sholto.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “It had originally built in one of Pompeii’s finest homes but then buried by Vesuvius’s ashes for over almost 18 centuries before it was excavated. When His Majesty of Naples gave this to strengthen our nations’ ties, he wrote me that he was afraid the individual tiles would fall off again if displayed on a wall as most art is- which is why it’s been reconstructed on the FLOOR!” Alexander laughed as pointed to beneath the catwalk they were standing on to the glass-encased Mosaic.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “So THAT is where you derived your Coronation Uniform from!” Lord GeorgeVane surmised while see[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Precisely. Look at how my Namesake has just turned the tide of a decisive battle into his favor! I had considered just having it constructed on the floor with selected guests being able to see it under their feet but even with the cleanest feet and stockings, eventually grime would be tracked onto it. No, it sits beneath the glass lit by coal gaslamp so no wax may drip on it or dirt may collect,” Alexander proudly explained.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“And with the criss-crossing catwalks, we can walk to virtually any part of it and admire it from above,” Lord Michael explained.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Or even better- crawl on one’s knees!” Alexander added as he got down on all fours to demonstrate.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Quite impressive, Your Majesty. We are honoured that you have selected us to view this,” Lord Vane proclaimed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Charles, I seriously doubt that His Majesty has brought our family all this way solely to show us his newly prized possession,” Lady Vane –the Marchioness cautioned.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Now, Frances. ..” Lord Vane warned.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Lady Vane is quite correctly, Lord Vane. Lord Sholto, Lord Michael, Lord Edward, Lord George- could you show the Vane children to the Round Tower? There’s a matter I need to discuss with Lord and Lady Vane,” Alexander insisted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Pardon me, Your Majesty but since I am certain it involves me, I think I should stay here instead of being herded with the others,” Lady Frances insisted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “And I’m the heir to Mother’s domains so I should, also,” Lord George Vane insisted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Young Vane, I understand you’re Lady Frances’s elder brother but you’re not her father and these are matters I need to discuss with your parents,” Alexander replied.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Very well, Your Majesty,” Lord George Vane fumed- as he and the younger siblings were herded out of the Mosaic Chamber leaving Alexander alone with Lady Frances and their parents. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Now that we are alone. Lord and Lady Vane, I approach you not as the King of Great Britain and Ireland and all its overseas dominions but as a young gentleman who would like the opportunity to become acquainted with your daughter,” Alexander explained.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Acquainted? To what end?” Lady Vane asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ I realize that it would be a few years before your daughter would be ready to make any momentous changes in her life but I would like to take the chance to get to become acquainted with her so that we may each decide what fate may be for us,” Alexander pleaded.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Your Majesty, as much we appreciate you attempting to approach us as though you were a fellow Subject rather than crushing us like ants beneath your Royal feet, we do want to ensure that Fanny’s reputation does not suffer as a result of being acquainted with you,” Lord Vane cautioned.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Yes, Your Majesty. It is not as though I seek to reject Your Majesty’s offer to become acquainted but I don’t want to be thought of as a girl with a sullied reputation for having spent so much time in your company if we decide to part ways,” Lady Frances explained.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ I don’t want us to part ways,”Alexander pleaded.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ Your Majesty says that now but what about when it comes time Your Majesty to seek a Consort. Surely, Your Majesty will need to suit a suitable Protestant Princess. Then what would become of our Fanny?” asked Lady Vane.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “To have to choose amongst the spendthrift churchmice Germans or the few eligible but inbred cousins instead of bringing some actual fresh British blood back into The Bloodline? I’m the one who Rules not to be Ruled by some outmoded conventions,”Alexander scoffed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But I don’t want Your Majesty to suffer from a choice either!” Lady Frances pleaded.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “A true King is one who leads through what is best for his Country not what will cause him the least convenience,” Alexander declared.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ I know His Majesty leads but I was wondering if His Majesty would be amenable at this time to a correspondence- and time together chaperoned by Mother?” Lady Frances proposed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Hmm, that might take the wind out of some tonguewaggers’ sails- and perhaps what might also help is if we were further chaperoned by Lord and Lady Henry Herbert- the Dean of Windsor and his wife,” Alexander opined.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Do you think they would be willing to ?” Lady Frances asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “It doesn’t matter. I can command . ..” Alexander sniffed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “If Your Majesty truly is willing to adhere to the presence of chaperones, then Your Majesty needs to abide by their wishes rather than command them,” cautioned Lady Vane.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “You are correct, Lady Vane. I can understand why Lord Vane was willing to give up his family name for you!” Alexander laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “That’s not all I gave up for her,” Lord Vane chuckled.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I know but now’s not the time nor place to detail that,” Alexander laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]. … [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]. .[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Alley, I don’t understand why you are so smitten with her. I mean, girls throw themselves at your feet all the time,” Lord Sholto gulped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Afraid of losing your part of the overflow, Sholto?” Alexander laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “We don’t deny that but why Lady Frances? She won’t be as pliable as the others and. ..” Lord Michael sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “As much as I’ve enjoyed their attentions down the years, how many of them would think to see beyond my Crown or physique?” Alexander asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]. ..[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] . ..[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Over the next two years with Lady Vane and the Dean of Windsor[&his wife] chaperoning, Alexander courted and corresponded with Lady Frances and hoped this would lead to something more.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Meantime, in June, 1837, the 19-year-old Alexander reluctantly heeded his cousin Victoria’s pleas and went to the trouble to become the first reigning Sovereign to cross the Channel in centuries for the ostensible purpose of paying a visit with Princess Victoria and the Duchess of Kent to his dying Great-Uncle William I of Hanover . Although William warmly welcomed both his great-nephew and niece[ representing the tall and short height extremities of the family], he was incensed enough at the presence of his loathed sister-in-law, the Duchess of Kent, that he actually spat at her while on his deathbed –despite Queen Adelaide’s attempting to reason with him that their niece could not have been able to make the journey without her mother. The British Royals stayed long enough for William’s funeral and the Hanoverian subjects quite openly expressed sadness that neither Alexander nor Victoria would be able to rule them due to their Salic Law- and dreaded William I’s eldest surviving brother Ernest Augustus, Duke of Cumberland being their new king. After inviting William’s 45-year-old widow, the Queen Dowager Adelaide to return to Great Britain if she wished, Alexander departed the large port namesake capital city of Hanover then pressed forth on his ultimate Continental goal- Coburg.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] While Victoria would rapturously recount her first sight of the ancestral town and palace in her Journal [to say nothing of her first sight of her cousin Albert], Alexander considered it to be a place where he had to confront his lifelong fears.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “So, His Majesty, has come to haunt our home like a specter,” Leopold sniffed at Erhenberg Palace at the first sight of his son in nearly two years- still wearing his mourning attire for his Great-Uncle.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “No, His Highness is mistaken. I am here to see to it that justice is done,” Alexander glared.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Now, Uncle Leopold, I’m sure Alley doesn’t mean any harm,” the 18-year-old Princess Victoria pleaded.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “No harm? His Majesty cut me off from my house and properties to make me beggar back to this anthill,” Leopold seethed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Beggar?! You’re a healthy man of 47 who received a £50,000 annum Parliamentary stipend for 20 years. Surely His Highness somehow can eke an existence from the interest of the £1 million provided for him,” Alexander snarled.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Well, it’s not just my brother who needs providing for Your Majesty, “Ernest, Duke of Saxe-Coburg Gotha[aged 53] implored.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “We know, Ernest. That’s why Alexander is here,” the 51-year-old Duchess of Kent insisted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Aunt Kent, don’t you dare put words in my mouth. I said I’d come for Her Highness’s sake as well as. . .” Alexander seethed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Your Highness, come quickly! You have a son but Her Highness. ..” implored a female voice from the palace’s upper story.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Mathilde! If anything happens to her due to your meddling, I’ll. .” Leopold seethed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I pray that nothing happens to Her Highness but know that your new son has a defender capable of decimating the mightiest foes of Great Britain so don’t you dare ill treat him as you did His Majesty,”Alexander warned as he ran upstairs with his father. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “My Mathilde, you live!” Leopold exclaimed at the sight of his 2nd wife born Princess Mathilde of Bavaria [aged 24] cradling their newborn son in her arms as she prepared to hand him over to the wetnurse. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Yes, some say I was mad to turn down the proposal of the Grand Duke of Hesse’s heir but I have no regrets,” Mathilde beamed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Brother, what will you name him? He’s somewhat down the line of succeeding even to Coburg,” Duke Ernest scoffed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ I think if we named him Leopold Ernest Charles, the newest Prince of Saxe-Coburg Gotha would suit him well even if he’s not destined for the grandeur of his elder brother,” Leopold sniffed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “He may have to find his own way in the world instead of having his life mapped out but he has one advantage over me- both parents,” Alexander proclaimed as he let his new half-brother grip his right pinky finger. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Although Alexander would not relax a single of his previous edicts against Leopold, his amiability towards nearly everyone and his protectiveness of his stepmother and baby brother won over most of the population of Coburg.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] . . .[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]. ..[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Kew Palace gardens-October,1838[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] 16-year-old Lady Frances Vane [and her chaperones] came across 19-year-old Alexander wearing a Royal Stewart tartan kilt – and tossing large logs high into the air.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “What is His Majesty doing?” Lady Frances gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Haven’t you ever heard of caber tossing? It’s a time honored Scottish tradition!” Alexander grunted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But that log must weigh 300 pounds- and there’s frost on the ground but Your Majesty’s barefoot!” Lady Frances gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “As are most authentic Scots in tartans. Oh, it’s a good remedy to vent frustrations,” Alexander grunted- as he picked up the log and tossed it 30 feet.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But what can His Majesty be frustrated with?” Lady Frances asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Is it not true that your parents invited Lord Blanford to a tea last week?” Alexander snarled- as he ran towards where the log landed with Lady Frances [and the others] running after him at a much slower pace with the ladies picking up their skirts.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Well, yes, but what does that have to do with. .?” Lady Frances asked as she caught up to Alexander.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “If I weren’t King, would you be willing to wed him?” Alexander asked- as he kicked up up a horseshoe tossed on the ground hard enough to make it ricochet off an oak tree fifteen feet away.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Well, he’ll be the Duke of Marlborough and . ..”Lady Frances started to explain.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “So you think being the Duchess of Malborough and queening it over Blenheim would suit you?” Alexander fumed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Your Majesty. ..” Lady Frances gulped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Yes, they have their OWN palace built by the People of Great Britain to honor the First Duke and they love to remind everyone of the First Duke’s military prowess but what has that family done in the last century?” Alexander asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ I really think Your Majesty is being unfair,” Lady Frances fumed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “And I can guarantee that any sons or grandsons of yours by Blanford would be just as dull and useless to the Nation as the rest of the First Duke’s progeny, “ Alexander fumed-as he kicked another horseshoe lying on the grass- then picked it up and bent it.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Your Majesty’s JEALOUS!” Lady Frances gasped. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Jealous? What have I to be jealous about? I have more wealth, power and strength than he could wish for,” Alexander sneered –as he stomped the grass and flexed his biceps. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Your Majesty needs to listen to himself! There’s nothing more than a vague friendship between the Marlboroughs and Vanes between us –yet Your Majesty seem to think he could be a threat!,” Lady Frances fumed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I just don’t want to lose you,” Alexander confessed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Lose me? I know that beneath that Crown, bluster and imposing physique, there’s a motherless boy wanting a family,” Lady Frances sighed-as she took his arm.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Is that what you think? How presumptuous can you. .?” Alexander asked- as he lifted the large log to attempt to toss it again.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Can Your Majesty deny that?” Lady Frances asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Alexander put down the log- then nodded to three nearby groundskeepers to haul it away which they did with great strain. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “No, I cannot. I’ve missed her every day of my life. I always envied other children who had theirs,”Alexander groaned.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But you had His Late Majesty raising you and the promise of the Crown,” Lady Frances reminded him.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I know but I’d trade it all and become the meanest day labourer if I could just have one memory of Mama,” Alexander confessed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Even with His Majesty raising you?” Lady Frances asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I I loved Grandpapa and always will- even though I’ve long since understood that he had many flaws and didn’t always treat others right. He knew it,too. That’s why he raised me to be his opposite,” Alexander recalled.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “You mean, you became Samson Reborn because - and not in spite of His Late Majesty?” Lady Frances gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “He suffered many years due to his habits’ snares and loved me enough to want to spare me that fate and I loved him enough to want to grow to be as big, healthy and strong as possible- in addition to enjoying everyone’s shock and awe at my prowess,” Alexander laughed. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ I know that there’s more to Your Majesty than that,” Lady Frances laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Quite true –as I know there’s more to you than your conventionality. May I ask you a question, Lady Frances?” Alexander laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Of course, Your Majesty,” Lady Frances replied.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Now that we’ve gotten to know each other- save Biblically, would you be willing for me to ask Lord Vane’s consent to wed you- and would you be willing to endure the battle I may need to wage with Parliament for you to be Queen?”Alexander asked- as he got on one knee.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Your Majesty has read Jane Austen!” Lady Frances laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Just answer the question,” Alexander sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I. . I accept,” Lady Frances gulped [having mentally rehearsed this moment many times during the previous two years].[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Oh, thank you! You’ve made me so happy, My Francesca!” Alexander beamed as he hugged her –as Lady Vane and the Dean & his wife emerged from their discreet distance.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “What did you call me, Your Majesty?” Lady Frances laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Francesca!” Alexander laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But we all call her ‘Fanny’,” Lady Vane protested.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I know, Lady Vane, but ‘Fanny’ sounds as though she’s either ready to faint from vapours at any moment- or her backside’s more worth being acquainted with than the rest of her,” Alexander laughed as he made fanning motions with his hand then spanked his own rear.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Your Majesty,” Lady Frances gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Oh, come now. You have Medici blood. Why not use the Italian version which means ‘French girl’?” Alexander laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But. ..”Lady Vane sputtered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “What’s in a name as long as she can be my Queen? Do you think Lord Vane will be amenable?” Alexander asked as he kissed Lady Vane’s hand.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I think so,” Lady Vane gulped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Then we should adjourn inside to celebrate our engagement,” Alexander proclaimed. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]. .Parliament, November 1838[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Although Lord Vane immediately eagerly gave his consent, the next step with Parliament would not be so easy.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Why can’t His Majesty wed a Princess instead of a Commoner?” asked Sir Robert Peel of the Conservative Party.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “She is a Protestant and her reputation is spotless,” countered Alexander.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But she’s your Subject and. .” Sir Robert Peel replied.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I am well aware of that- as would any Princess I would wed. Lady Frances comes from several distinctive families- and any Prince or Princess that Almighty God would bless us with would be the first since Good Queen Bess to have more British blood than otherwise, “Alexander pleaded.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But surely His Majesty could form more suitable alliances if like wed like. .” Sir Robert Peel argued.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “How many Queen Regnants are there at this time? Spain and Portugal have the only ones in Christendom with none of us being willing to sacrifice our respective Faiths for another’s Kingdom- and the Queen of Spain being a mere child,” Alexander countered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “A princess then. ..”Sir Robert Peel pleaded.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “How many Royal marriages made for that purpose proved happy or even fulfilled the minimal requirements of providing an unquestioned heir?” Alexander fumed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But it would be the first time since the Tudors that. .” Sir Robert Peel pleaded.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Our Nation is quite stable without needing to an alliance of a loveless union to keep its borders safe and if my Subjects are now making marriages for the sake of love, then why should their King be any making one for any other reason,” Alexander pleaded- and with that the Parliamentary approval for the Marriage of Alexander, King of Great Britain and Ireland and Lady Frances Vane, daughter of the 3rd Marquis of Londonberry was voted for [after a mere ten sessions and eighteen hours].[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Although there was not a small amount of jealousy from other nobles’ families at the prospect of a ‘commoner’ marrying a king, in the months ahead, the wedding which Alexander insisted by held at Westminster Abbey progressed on schedule.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] . . [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]. ..[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Having lodged at St. James’s Palace the night before[ with Alexander residing in Buckingham Palace- a discreet yet close remove], Lady Frances Vane[aged 17] emerged from the Gold Coach on Saturday, June 8th, 1839 looking quite refreshed with orange blossoms over her white silk, embroidered lace veil which covered her face yet translucent enough for all to see [and for her to see through]. Stepping gingerly onto the paving stones at Westminster’s West Portacle, Lady Frances was careful not to trip on white silk gown in her white satin slippers while the attendants straightened out her 30 foot bridal train as the crowds wildly cheered her on while her father Lord Vane, the Marquis of Londonberry escorted her up into the Abbey. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Her Maid of Honour was the Heiress Presumptive , Princess Victoria of Kent who, contrary to her own mother and aunts, wasn’t the least upset at the prospect of this 17-year-old commoner about to become the Most Senior Royal Lady in rank . The Duchess of Kent was so perturbed that she had attempted to forbid Victoria’s participation over Victoria’s objections and it was only with Alexander himself ordering Victoria to attend Lady Frances that this was able to be overcome. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Waiting inside the Abbey was Alexander [aged 21]- wearing the Macedonian Armor of his Coronation [somewhat at odds with Lady Frances who had flatly refused to consider attiring herself as the Bactrian princess, Queen Roxana] who was seen to rise on his toes at the sight of her entrance . [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] The Durham Regiment were all at the ready to be his Groomsmen [though, they’d be leaving his residences for their own independent homes from this point forward] but in Field Marshalls’ uniforms. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] The wedding ceremony itself went rather smoothly- albeit with Alexander laughing when Frances said his full name during the vows- as it had been the very first time she had addressed him by his given names rather than ‘His Majesty’. Then as soon as the Archbishop of Canterbury presented them as man and wife, Frances had her own Coronation as Queen complete with her own personal crown -though on a much smaller scale than her spouse’s Coronation had been three years earlier.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Although they consummated their union that night in Buckingham Palace, after one last bridal ball, they were soon off to Brighton for their honeymoon in which Alexander gave strict instructions that they were to be left alone for an entire week [save,of course, for the innumerable servants and attendants].[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Is there something troubling, His Majesty?” asked Lord Melbourne upon their return to Windsor.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I discovered something most distressing upon our honeymoon” Alexander shuddered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ Is there some defect of Her Majesty or . .?” Lord Melbourne gulped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “No, nothing like that. We’re in a universe of our own during our times together. It’s just that. ..why does it have to take so much time and with the help of so many for ladies to dress and undress?! I should have the corset makers harpooned rather than the whales,”Alexander fumed while Lord Melbourne laughed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Despite their divergent views of attire and some other matters, the Royal Couple had quite an intense bond –some would say even rivaling that of George III and Queen Charlotte in their earliest days. Barely a month after the wedding, Her Majesty Frances, Queen Consort of Great Britain and Ireland became known to be ‘in that interesting condition’ and all the Nation felt like celebrating – not knowing that the impending heir’s birth wouldn’t be enough to sweep the yellow clouds away that drifted from the other side of the world. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
 
Feedback on the Sixth Installment anyone ?
Regardless, I hope all who've read this latest installment at least found it satisfactory and won't be disappointed with the Seventh Installment when it gets posted in the time around the Ides of March.
 
Blowing Smoke or Happy Family? Part Seven

[FONT=&quot]As soon as Frances was confirmed to be with child, Alexander reacted by banning leeches being used for medicines for any pregnant women and ordering corsets to be banned from Her Majesty’s wardrobe for the duration of the pregnancy.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “How can a Prince of Wales or Princess Royal be expected to breathe if the Queen has near suffocated the entire time carrying them?” Alexander fumed over Frances’s very vocal objections.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] In addition, he insisted she play croquet or golf [weather permitting] to encourage exercise as well as attempting to reform her diet to be as close to his own but Frances was somewhat revolted at the possibility of becoming a ‘Brunhilde’ in appearance. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Still, despite the underlying worries re this pregnancy following Princess Charlotte’s tragic fate, the two were quite looking forward to becoming parents . Moreover, Alexander would write lengthy passionate notes to ‘Francesca Mia’ daily despite them hardly ever parting while Frances secretly extoled her increasing attraction towards him in her Journal which Alexander had no knowledge of at the time.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Thus, it was somewhat jarring how things would crash when Lord Melbourne briefed Alexander with a drafted Declaration of War Against the Q’ ing Emperor of China in January,1840 at Windsor Castle.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Are you people MAD?!” screamed Alexander as he ruptured the Royal Dispatch box which had contained the Declaration by squeezing it with his hands like an accordion.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But Your Majesty.. .. the actions by the Imperial Chinese Navy leave us no choice but to declare war, “ Lord Melbourne pleaded.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ I will not put my Seal on this . .. travesty and will prevail upon Parliament to compensate the Chinese for their losses,” Alexander fumed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Compensate? But they have forbidden our trade and. ..” Lord Melbourne gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Trade? Is that what you call it? We’ve become Purveyors of Poison! Nothing less! If a fleet of Chinese junks were spotted plying its way up the Thames with it, wouldn’t we be justified in blasting it to Kingdom Come to spare our subjects from that cargo?” Alexander boiled.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Opium? But it’s what we’ve been trading with them in exchange for their tea and how could we do without. ..?” Lord Melbourne shuddered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ It’s not merely the fact that we’ve traded something we knew would decimate their youth but the fact that our own East India Company has been expressly manufacturing it for that purpose!” Alexander fumed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But Sir. .Sire. The Royal Charter was just renewed in ’33 and. ..” Lord Melbourne pleaded.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “The Regency Council renewed it in My Name. I did not but I accept responsibility for having failed to dismantle that at the earliest opportunity upon my Majority,” Alexander seethed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But, for all practical purposes, our troops and fleet in the Far East have already been at War with the Imperial Government for months now and for Your Majesty to not . ..” Lord Melbourne shuddered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Soldiers my age and younger have died and been crippled in my name- to say nothing of the Chinese who were only protecting their own subjects and I could know nothing of this until enough passing ships exchanged signals but no one thought to wait for my command before all these losses for this poison’s sake,” Alexander raged.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “These news were conveyed to London by the most rapid means possible. ..” Lord Melbourne tried to say.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “NO! If we extended our new telegraph network to beyond our Nation’s borders, I could have signaled the commanders to cease within minutes and many lives would have been spared,” Alexander argued –as he leaped directly from the floor onto the mantle shelf Lord Melbourne was standing next to while pacing.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Sir, the costs of extending the network and how could we the cables over mountains and oceans and. ..” Lord Melbourne gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Even if we had only tortoises conveying dispatches, it’s unacceptable that even one soldier or civilian on either side has died for the sake of poisoning a nation. I will summon Parliament at once to put a stop to this and if Parliament fails to obey their King. ..” Alexander fumed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Sire, Your Majesty cannot go against Parliament’s will,” Lord Melbourne begged.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Don’t tell me what I can or cannot do. . See yourself out and you needn’t bother backing out this time. You’ve already shown me your backside via this conversation, Lord Melbourne,” Alexander seethed as he pointed to the door.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But Alley. India and China?” asked Lord Sholto with the rest of the Durham Regiment nodding –who had been summoned from their homes hours earlier.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I’d go myself but I can’t be in three places at once and Her Majesty needs me here as the arrival of the Prince of Wales or Princess Royal draws near,” Alexander explained.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But none of us have ever even crossed the Channel and my Hindustani is a bit rusty,” Lord Edward pleaded.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “You easily possessed the best retention of it out of all the Regiment. Swami always said so,” Alexander explained.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But carrying your Sealed Orders to such remote places is far more risky than your Coronation or Queen Charlotte’s Birthday Ball,” Lord Michael begged.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “We were raised together for a purpse and you are as close to being brothers to me as any of the flesh would have been so I am counting on each of you to see that Justice is meted even if Parliament fails me,” Alexander explained.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Alley, you really expect to do good if Parliament overrules .. .” Lord George asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Overrules? And how many of its body will return to their Seats after I inform my Subjects that the best and brightest of their sons are being asked to sacrifice themselves to keep enriching the coffers of murder merchants?” Alexander gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Alley, we know how much it troubled you that His Late Maj.. ..” Lord Sholto started to say.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ Don’t you DARE bring him up now! This goes far beyond any of that! The eyes of the world are now riveted upon our Nation and its conduct. Whichever side of history we cast our lot upon will resonate for generations to come worldwide!” Alexander screamed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Alley. .” Lord Michael tried to say.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “The Durham Regiment will embark upon its appointed missions immediately and let nothing stop any of you from reaching your destinations at the soonest possible times and meantime I will remain here to battle Our Nation back from this precipice. Do I make myself clear!” Alexander ordered –as he sent handed them their orders and they were seen backing out as quickly as possible.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Francesca Mia, how long have you been standing there?” Alexander asked as he kissed her hand.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I just got arrived from the Sewing Room a moment ago. You needn’t chastise the footmen for not announcing me, Alley,” Frances, the 17 year-old Queen Consort of Great Britain and Ireland sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ I just want you and our impending Prince of Wales or Princess Royal to be spared this turmoil,” Alexander proclaimed- as he took her hand then, while keeping his embrace on her hand, touched her mid section.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ I appreciate the sentiment but we are family and, if you are burdened by this then, it’s only fitting that we can help shoulder the burden,” Frances replied while hugging him.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I just pray that the Regiment is able to fulfil the mission and return home –all of them,” Alexander confessed. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “As do I, but in the meantime, there must be something I can do to help,” Frances pondered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Staying healthy and living to raise our dynasty is more than enough,” Alexander insisted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “ You told me you chose me to be your Queen because you admired my never losing my courage or resolve while maintaining respect for your station,” Frances insisted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “True that but what can you do?” Alexander asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Don’t underestimate what a Queen and her ladies can do to rally Society to the good!” Frances proclaimed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Francesca Mia!” Alexander groaned as he hugged.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “My Stallion and Liege Lord!” Frances shouted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “What does His Majesty mean, His Majesty won’t put his Seal on the Declaration?” Lord Palmerston fumed in Parliament the next day.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But our troops and ships have already exchanged fire with the Chinese,” gasped Benjamin Disraeli, MP. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I realize that but His Majesty was adamant,” Lord Melbourne insisted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “We could threaten to resign the Government and. ..”Lord Palmerston pondered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “And I would GLADLY accept it and form one that would act with Christian Principles rather than Tyrannical ones!” Alexander proclaimed as he stormed into the session.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Your Majesty. This is an unexpected pleasure and. ..” Disraeli gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Why didn’t the Lord Chamberlain announce. .?” Lord Palmerston gasped as Alexander stormed in clutching the Declaration of War in his right hand.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I ordered him NOT to- and you may dispense with the pleasantries! I’m here to right Our Nation’s Course even if it breaks the very mast of our mainsail!” Alexander fumed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Your Majesty, the Imperial Chinese government won’t accept anything but our silver to trade for tea but their subjects are eager consumers of opium and they’ve fired upon our ships for transporting it so what other course can we?” Lord Palmerston asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Why shouldn’t they fire upon our ships bringing in that POISON?! What nation worth its salt wouldn’t want that stuff brought in that reduces the best scholars to cretins , twisting the most noble minds so that view those they love most dear as insignificant gnats just so they can keep feeding their hunger for this poison?” Alexander boiled.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But as we have said, we already have exchanged fire. To surrender with our navy having the upper hand would. .” Lord Melbourne pleaded.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Would show the world that Our Nation has a far greater objective than profiteering from the ruination of others !” Alexander fumed while many jeered[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I agree with His Majesty. We can’t expect other nations to follow a Christian path if we ourselves are advocating sacrifices to the Golden Calf of poppy flowers!” Lord William Gladstone, M.P. tried to shout above the din.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Is Your Majesty saying He is ashamed of our Nation?” Lord Palmerston gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “NEVER! But there are those I am DEEPLY ashamed are subjects! Lord Melbourne, you know all too well the burden of caring for one feebleminded person, how can you advocate that another nation do the same to THOUSANDS just so we can profit?” Alexander fumed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Your Majesty. How could you?” Lord Melbourne gasped- appalled at the near mention of his recently deceased son, Augustus.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But they’re on the other side of the globe and. ..”Disraeli gasped.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Just because they eat with twigs and their language sounds like babble to us doesn’t mean that they aren’t under the Eyes of the Almighty as are all of us!” Alexander boiled.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “But what about the battles and bloodlust expended?” Palmerston asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I’ve already considered that. I’ve dispatched the Durham Regiment and, as we speak, they are on the way to the Far East to right these terrible wrongs with my Orders,” Alexander proclaimed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “How?” Disraeli asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “As we have demonstrated our strength in battle, I’m sure His Imperial Majesty will appreciate it that I henceforth will commit Our Navy to join theirs in preventing piracy and opium trade from further ruination of other nations as the Portuguese Navy did in its heyday which prompted the granting of Macao to them,” Alexander pondered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Meantime, Frances wrote a series of letters to the wives of Parliamentarians pleading for the end of the opium trade while Alexander sent editorials to every major newspaper and journal in Great Britain doing the same.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] The result was that a No Confidence vote was raised and Lord Melbourne was voted out as Prime Minister while William Gladstone was elected Prime Minister in March, 1840 and the War with China was averted.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Via the Durham Regiment, Alexander was able to order that the East India Company close its opium factories in India or be dismantled altogether and with Lord Sholto [accompanied by an Oxford Chinese scholar] reaching Peking, Alexander was able to compensate the Chinese for their losses in exchange for taking on the burden of protecting its coastline from piracy and opium [and China provided Great Britain the ports of Canton on the Pearl River and Shanghai on the Yangtze as colonies to be used for Naval Bases]. Also, China would trade its raw cotton to England and then buy back the cloth manufactured in Great Britian. It would take until June, 1840 for the news to reach Great Britain with the triumphant return of all members the Durham Regiment[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Alexander had, in the meantime, bought out the rights to British Telegraph Service and soon had a rapidly growing network that spanned the width and breadth of Great Britain by 1842 and would soon make Alexander extremely wealthy while he constantly considered how to expand it overseas.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]In addition to Alexander being somewhat revered in China for going against his own army, navy and Parliament to try to stop the opium trade [which was greatly curtailed though never entirely wiped out despite traders being publically hung], Ireland would laud him for, in addition, to sending aid to the starving after the Potato Blight wiped out its primary food source, Alexander had sent large supplies of turnips with written and illustrated instructions on how to tend them so they would never be entirely dependent on potatoes again. It was estimated that only a few thousand Irish would seek new lives abroad in the 19th century as a result. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] However; all that was quite incidental to Alexander as on April 22,1840- on Queen Frances’s 18th Birthday, she went into labor for ten hours but just one hour before forceps were due to be used, she successfully gave birth to a son who weighed 6 pounds, 3 ounces- quite a bit smaller and even of a shorter length and with much sparser red hair than his father had had at his own birth.
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Lord Gladstone, you and the Archbishop of Canterbury can testify that Her Majesty bore the Prince of Wales and this wasn’t a warming pan baby so you may leave now!” Alexander ordered as he drew the canopy back around the childbed and the midwives took newborn Prince of Wales for his first bath.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Thank you! May I have new sheets and blankets put over me? I’ve can’t say I was happy for anyone beside you seeing me to such an extent,” Frances sighed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “I can’t blame you but, alas, it’s a Royal Burden that these ‘dignitaries’ much vouchsafe that the Prince of Wales is flesh of our flesh and not a changeling,” Alexander groaned as he kissed her.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “My Liege Lord, I can’t imagine how I could have done this without your support,” Frances beamed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Never was a task so eagerly undertaken,” Alexander laughed with a raised eyebrows.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Naughty Boy, you know what I mean. You being here with me these many hours,” Frances laughed while swatting him.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “There’s no one and nothing not even our entire Kingdom more important than you and the Prince of Wales. Where else would I be?” Alexander proclaimed- as the midwife brought back to them freshly bathed and in swaddling clothes, the newest member of the Royal Family and places him on Frances’s bosom[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “Open the window. I can hear the crowds in Windsor Town cheer after the 21 Gun Salute!” Frances gushed- while Alexander climbed into bed with her to snuggle up but this time nodded to have the footmen open the window .[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “That crowd stood for all these hours in the pouring rain. I wonder how many of them would have stood for so long had they known how long the wait for the Prince of Wales would be?” Alexander asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “What shall he be named?” Frances asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] “In honour of both of us and Mama and Grandpapa, I think he should be named ‘Alexander Frances Charles George’,” Alexander proclaimed as he and Frances marveled at their new son counting fingers and toes time and again for the next hour until the Prince of Wales gave a cry of hunger and they handed him to the wetnurse standing beside the bed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Of course, the question of how long the crowds at Windsor Town [and every other city and town] would have waited for the news of the successful birth of the Prince of Wales soon became a moot point and, in time, the question became how long and ultimately futile a wait the Prince of Wales would have for the Throne.[/FONT]
 
Led Into the Tiger's Embrace With Rex and Madge- by Mark Twain

Alexander the Great of Great Britain [ Part Eight]
a/n I’m doing this chapter a bit differently from the usual format. For laughs and giggles I’m going to attempt to have our protagonist viewed through the lens of one of the great wits of his ‘time’ so without further ado I’ll ‘re-release’ ‘that time honored short story beloved by generations of readers’ . Here's the disclaimers that, being that Alexander I of Great Britain actually was the stillborn son of Princess Charlotte of Wales in 1817, Frances Vane actually wed the 7th Duke of Marlborough and became Winston Churchill's grandmother[and virtually every other person character here is fictional] , that means Mark Twain could NOT have written this. In any case, I've always been a fan of Mr. Twain and hope you all consider this a tribute to him even if this style isn't exactly what he may have written under the [imaginary] circumstances.
“ Led Into the Tiger’s Embrace with Rex and Madge” by Mark Twain [c. 1868]
Concerning the 1867 journey from Egypt to India by His Majesty Alexander, King of Great Britain and Ireland, Her Majesty Frances, Queen Consort of Great Britain and Ireland and a Mr. Samuel Clemens - lately of Sacramento, California.

Some of you readers might be a bit surprised that a scoundrel like me could get a king’s attention for anything but a hanging- but that’s nothing compared to my surprise! I’d just written about my trip to the Sandwich Islands and it wasn’t too long that I got this fancy note written on paper crisper than a new Dollar bill with an even fancier seal signed ‘Alexander Rex’. Now, even with the London postmark, I thought someone was pullin’ a fast one on me so I wrote back and called him ‘Rex’ on account of him having signed both names and likely getting tired of folks only using the first one. Well, after a couple of these notes, he up and invited me to join him and the missus [whom he termed ‘Her Majesty’ so I tagged her ‘Madge’] in Egypt so we could jaunt down to India. I thought it was funny so I accepted the invite thinking that this joker would have had his fun. Well, you coulda scooped me up with an eyedropper when I got a special delivery of a gigantic sealed package complete with all the details of reservations to Egypt . Since I was already close enough in the Holy Land tourin’ for a newspaper and I wanted to be around to see the last laugh, I decided to go ahead and travel on the joker’s dime . ..shilling.

I’d gotten to Suez and got ‘piped’ aboard that giant floating egg crate [ HMY Hadrian’s Acme- the350footinlength steam poweredRoyalyacht] and led to the ‘Reception Hall’ when these nabobs in layers of stuffed shirts, vests and buckled shoes more fit for a Scottish golf course than this blast furnace told me,
“Their Majesties are ready to receive you, Mr. Clemens,”
Now I’d been in battlefields, runaway stages and a whole slew of other misadventures too raw to rechew but nothing, not even hundreds of ruined Sundays sitting in sermons could have prepared me for the sight of Rex. I was jitterier than a new filly meeting a herd of mustangs.
I’d seen enough photographs, paintings, coins, postage stamps, etc. with his mug on ‘em and I’d always thought they had to have gilded him up to make him look like the redheaded love child of Hercules an’ Adonis [who am I to judge what them Greek myth folks did back then?] . Surely no one bein’ just a frog’s hair next to fifty with ten kids and seven grand young ‘uns could look as near handsome as them pictures . Well, let me tell you, I concluded Rex got downright gypped by them pictures when I had my first face-to-face meetin with him [or should I say face to chest on account of his 6’5” monument craning over my booted 5’9” scarecrow ].
His red hair was thicker than mine and brushed his shoulders like a mane which only had one or two grey hairs [or blond] and even standing next to him I could only see a few freckles on his face but not a hint of a wrinkle, pimple or line. His blue eyes matched the sky. Okay, his nose was a little bigger than usual an’ his chin went in instead of out a bit but I guess he couldn’t avoid the Hanovers entirely- and his right ear looked like it had been through a thresher so no wonder he kept his hair over it. His chest looked hearty enough to blow up a steam boiler like a paper cone. His arms were like redwoods and I never knew anyone’s [save for field hands] that had with more muscles on ‘em. His legs were even bigger yet his waist seemed like a tree trunk without a scrap of fat. Now how could I see all that, you ask? Well, on account of Rex only wearin’ a collarless white linen shirt, blue vest with a pocket watch, a red cravat and blue linen knickers that didn’t quite reach his knees. Not sure if he was trying to ape the Union Jack, the Stars and Bars or Old Glory, though.
As for Madge? Well, as effortless as her mate was working at being a peacock just by barely cloaking his ageless physique, Madge was exerting just as hard to make the most of her peahen status by coverin’ her middle aged figure with a dark blue silk hoop skirt, corset, petticoats, union suit, stockings, boots, a shawl and a huge pile of red curls perched atop her head [even if only a fraction of she herself grew]- to say nothing of all them strings of pearls to distract from her neck wrinkles, a diamond tiara on that hair piled up and diamond bracelets on her purple silk elbow-length gloves. Maybe it had something to do with bearin’ ten kids in 24 years or maybe life with Rex wasn’t the fountain of youth for her as it had been for him but she looked a generation older in spite of being four years younger.
“Your Majesties!” I stammered-as I bowed [and anyone who ever got wind of me knows it takes a lot to make me stammer].
“Mr. Clemens, we trust your journey was smooth, “ Madge proclaimed as she threw out her right gloved hand in my direction as though she was ready to chuck a spear.
I suddenly remembered that I was supposed to kiss it and started to do so from my bowed head.
“Yes, Your Majesty!” I gulped as I kissed her hand- not as sweet or smooth as honey but not too bad .
“Lem, I’m so happy you’re able to join us on our journey!” Rex exclaimed as he grabbed my right hand with his and shook it- damn near crushed it despite straining hard to be gentle [and I soon noticed he had to drink out of metal cups instead of glass or china thanks to his vice grip].
“Lem?” Madge asked.
“Yes, Francesca. That’s I’ve called him in our correspondence after the old song ‘Oranges, Lemons/ Ring the Bells of St. Clemons’- and I daresay he may be the lemon needed to assure the lemonade’s palatable,” Rex explained.
“Your Majesty. Sir. Sire. Whad’ya get called agin?” I asked.
“ You’re not a Subject but our guest and I rather like how you nicknamed me ‘Rex’ in your posts -even if that’s what canines in your nation get named,” Rex laughed .
“Are ya sure?” I asked.
“Yes, I hope you continue to call me Rex and don’t think of bowing to me except during the most formal public events and the only rules I must insist on are that you address my Francesca as ‘Her Majesty’ then ‘Ma’am’ and nod your head to her back up when leaving her presence and that you adjourn yourself to either the boiler room or back of the stern should you feel the inclination to smoke. I cannot abide breathing manmade smoke with the bounty of clean air the Creator made to invigorate our lungs!” Rex proclaimed.
I’d heard about he and his eldest boys had had rows over the boys smoking and wouldn’t let them smoke around him but did Rex really think he could keep ‘em from smoking around their own young uns?
“I fear I’ve overwhelmed a guest again. I’ll do all I can to equal the height,” Rex chuckled as he kicked off his Hindoo sandals [all of a flapjack thick]- and flexed his toes like a lion.
I’d heard of him bragging that he had the thickest arms and thinnest soles in Great Britain but I didn’t believe him until now.
Yep, ever since Rex got ahold of stuff in England, short pants and sleeveless vests with uncollared shirts and cravats are the rule for gentlemen in England with coats,gloves,scarves and cloaks only worn in the coldest weather -on account of Rex wanting all gents to be able to constantly freely move like him. Oh, and the hose industry has virtually dried up with only the clergy, as well as the oldest and most feminine of men still wearing them- thanks to Rex hatin’ them. And, thanks to Rex’s example, most Brit men only wear fur lined or fleece lined boots in the coldest or most dangerous conditions but otherwise wearin’ heelless slippers, moccasins or sandals -if wearing footwear at all. As for hats? Rex only wears them to keep off excess rain or sun so British men hatters are ‘ mad and near poor as mens’ hosiers and church mice’ –as the saying goes.
Of course, Madge had to show she was now royal despite bein’ born a commoner by following Continental fashion and wearing all those many floor length layers of fancy gowns ,gloves, silk hosiery, boots, bonnets,etc. so British ladies are every bit as buried as American ones even if their husbands look near naked compared to their American counterparts - which seamstresses, milliners, cobblers and glovers are grateful for.

The Upper Deck of the eggcrate had 20 foot tall ceilings and this was where Rex and Madge quartered themselves and next to their large royal stateroom was a gymnasium. Yep, I know the word even if try I avoid the usage. It had scores of ropes and rings hanging down from the ceiling like a monkey’s cage , as well as parallel bars, pummel horses bolted to the floor, and all along the walls were steel cages that usually stayed locked but contained Indian clubs and dumbbells of such a wide range of weight that only Rex himself could retrieve [and put away] the heaviest objects for exercise. Oh, I should point out that in spite of them being locked in cages, they rattled like cannon balls trapped inside a water wheel if there was even the slightest listing while floating. Of course, as expected on a royal yacht the upper deck had a Reception Hall, Banquet Room and everything royalty could want comfort wise while floating but all those fancy trimmings weren’t as interesting to Rex as his Gymnasium even if he only got others to use it when he ordered them to. Only Rex& Madge and the Captain with their highest ranking attendants got to sleep on the Upper Deck.
Everyone who they thought middle ranking [like yours truly] got to sleep in the Middle Deck [and, of course, the scullery maids, coal shovelers,etc. slept in cramped quarters in the Lower Deck]. What was interesting was that there wasn’t a doorway in the ship less than seven feet tall so Rex never had to worry about bumpin’ his noggin if he ever felt like ‘inspecting’ any part of the ship.

I gotta say the stateroom in the middle deck with 10 foot ceilings they gave me was perfectly fine with a sturdy bed, its own spigotted face bowl & shower- and the valet McGruder [I think that was the name] never let the chamber pot sit more than an hour unchanged and the porthole gave me as good a view a tiny circle could give.

After settling in and letting McGruder put my trunk away, that afternoon, Rex ‘invited’ me to join him in ‘inspecting’ the final touches of this Alexandrian Canal he was helpin’ to build. Yes, I know potentates often have armies of peons do all the dirty work- then tell folks that they [the potentates] built whatever infernal monstrosity they’d ordered built but Rex had something different in mind. When I first saw the big sheet McGruder laid out for me to wear, I was sure Rex wanted me to dress up as a ghost or Klansman neither one I had any use for havin’ seen for myself how badly everyone in my ole haunts suffered from their spookin. But when Rex showed up wearin’ the same thing with about a dozen, much shorter men I recognized as bein’ in his Royal Guards, I got even more suspect.
“The work of these thousands of laborers is almost finished but I’d be remiss if I didn’t help shoulder the last of the burden so I ‘invite’ you to join us . Oh, and our red hair would be a dead give away that we’re not Bedouins so I you need to cover yours with a kufiyah headscarf like I have,” Rex explained.
Of course, I didn’t have the heart to tell him that they’d likely already figgered out he wasn’t one of ‘em on account of his height and breadth- and I hoped he’d not notice I kept my boots on but when we left the gangplank, Rex silently stomped on ‘em hard enough to make me thankful he wasn’t wearing any.
You all know how he’d managed to persuade the Egyptian Khadive [or king] to fork over the canal’s construction from the French to his own personal company a dozen years back by having his company build the Khadive a Nile yacht that Cleopatra herself would have liked. It had taken ten years but them Bedouins had built almost all the canal by digging one small ditch letting the Mediterranean water flow in a trickle, then having British steam powered shovels expand it wide enough for ships and using the bottom ‘mud’ as its own cement when it baked in the sun and then letting more water in to finish ‘er. Rex even had them build a smaller canal beside it to bring in Nile water to slack everyone’s thirst. Good thing- on account of the water in the canal at the Suez end spot being nastier than a cesspool due to no fresh water flowing forth to drown out the dozens of ships’ bilge water that were all waitin’ behind the Royal egg crate for the canal to be finished for the Red Sea sail. In the last thousand feet of the canal looked like a drydock but was really a cement riverbed between the two sluice gates holdin’ back the Mediterranean and Red Sea waters.
In any case, when we got there, there still was a large bank of granite rock at the base of the sluice gate that needed removing. Rex wouldn’t let them gunpowder it on account of him worrying that it might break up the sluice gate and drown the workers in between. So the fourteen of us walked down there in our ghost costumes and I could hear Rex talk to them in that Araby lingo before they handed us each a pickaxe.
As soon as Rex started swinging his, a slew of Bedouin workers cheered and I wasn’t sure it was on account of them happy to see this mogul joining them peons or because they knew he’d break up that rock like it was chalk with his pickaxe’s blows. While the rest of our group barely could pick up our pickaxes much less make any real progress with the rock [except for the three coal diggers from the engine room he’d brought with him], with every blow from his pickaxe the granite boulder got smashed into marble sized pebbles while the rest of us barely got anything smaller than football pigskins. If every digger had his strength that trench couldda gotten dug in a one year instead of ten!
Still, I was glad Rex gave the rest of us credit for helping out.
“Good news, Lem,” Rex exclaimed while banging my back.
“We’re gettin’ replaced by gorillas?” I asked- which got him chuckling.
“No. Fayyid says that this last granite blemish will be entirely extracted by tomorrow morning and we will be ready to commence the Canal Opening!” Rex exclaimed after he talked that Araby lingo with the site foreman- six hours after we’d started banging.
Now the rest of us could barely move a muscle after all that swinging but Rex insisted we all walk back to the Royal egg crate a mile away even though there was no shortage of camels around. Rex practically skipped ahead of all of us but the others looked at me unsure to beg me [ the Yank. ..er Rebel scoundrel] to ask Rex for mercy on our behalves or whether they hoped I’m keep my mouth shut like a good Subject. Well, being one who rebelled against being Rebel who rebelled against a country who rebelled against being Subjects, I thought I ought owed it to our respective countries [to say nothing of our sore feet], to at least give my mouth a try.
“Rex, ain’t we done enough to help just a diggin’? How ‘bout lettin’ us ride back on them stinky desert ships?” I asked-as I pointed out to the twenty camels tied to posts on the trail.
The others gasped but with a mixture of horror, amusement and a little gratitude [and I knew this chat would get buzzed all over faster than a telegraph].
“Lem, all of these workers managed to march great distances to reach this site without camels and have each done far more work than we have and will walk back to their tent quarters so who are we to think ourselves going back to Hadrian’s Acme more deserving of camels than them?” Rex sneered.
“ I ain’t pretendin’ to be deservin’ but if you knew how much I hate camels after what happened in Port Said, you’d know how wore out I must be to swallow my pride to prefer ridin’ one to walkin’ back,” I retorted.
“You’ve given me some insight as to how Moses had to deal with obstinate folks he led to the Red Sea. Very well. I’ll commission the camels to carry the lot of you back whilst I guide you on foot,” Rex fumed-as he took out a hidden leather change purse from beneath his Bedouin sheet.
Within minutes, he was able to talk them in the Araby lingo into commissioning the camels and he was soon helping each of us mount their lumpy backsides but he right near threw me over clear over the camel when he got to me last before he started leading our train back.
Rex couldn’t stop laughing when ‘my’ camel kept kneeling or trotting instead of walking and spittin’ into my face and the others looked as though they weren’t sure to act ashamed in preferring the camels to walking or pretending to take umbrage at my speakin’ up.
Thankfully, Rex quit calling me ‘Your Ladyship’ by the next morning as we prepared for the Canal Opening.

You all have long since read about the big hoorah that happened on October 7 ,1867 from the newspapers and woodprints of photographs but they only told about the grand finale not the carryings on backstage.
McGruder awoke me at 5 in the AM before the sun had had the chance to rise and told me to dress for breakfast in a half hour. I was still sorer and stiffer than a pack mule but McGruder had laid out my best suit and turned on the shower so I couldn’t linger. I got to the Banquet Hall and sniffed as much as I could for coffee, eggs, sausage an’ biscuits but only saw oatmeal, curds [ which Rex called ‘yogurt’ but I thought shoulda bin called ‘yoke dirt’] ,fruit preserves and fresh oranges.
“I must apologize for not having more variety of fresh fruit available but we cannot risk dysentery from the local produce and we need everyone with all ducks in a row,” Rex explained- as we sat down.
“Mr. Clemens, I trust you were not too exhausted by assisting His Majesty,” Queen Frances [er. . Madge] sniffed.
“No, Ma’am. I hope you didn’t get too stircrazy staying on this floating egg crate,” I replied- to the predictable gasps of virtually every lady-in-waiting and British subject in the room.
“Not at all. I had a round of tea with my ladies and the local British colony,” Madge explained as she nodded to them and rolled her eyes a bit to me.
“ Until our yacht docked, the nearest ‘local British colonies’ were in Cairo and Alexandria making the most of the trade but they’ve flocked here like Trafalgar Square pigeons setting up their very own tent city just to have the chance to mingle with us,” Rex laughed.
I had the feelin Madge wasn’t looking forward to the egg crate leavin’ her congregation an’ having to deal with just Rex, his staff, her ladies, the crew- and yours truly until we made landfall.
“So how do Your Majesties fare bein’ so far ‘way from your young uns?” I asked- gaining every other Brit’s evil eye in the process.
At that Rex took Madge’s hand and sighed.
“As much as we’d have liked them to accompany on us this journey, it simply is too risky to have the entire Royal Family outside our nation at this time, “Rex started to explain.
“His Majesty has appointed the Prince of Wales as Acting Viceroy during our journey. Moreover, he and the Princess of Wales are de facto guardians to our youngest Princes and the Princess Royal who are well cared for by our household until our return ,”Madge explained while sniffing a tear.
I remember hearin’ how proud Rex was of havin’ nine boys but then hearing how over the moon he and Madge were when they finally had their baby girl ‘Francie’ three years past when Rex was 46 and Madge was 43-and already grandparents by their eldest boy. And, virtually every free inch and them some of their tables not covered with food were covered in photographs and paintings of their small fry in all ages.
“And in almost every port, we will instantly communicate with them by telegraph,” Rex explained [of course the telegraph is how he was able to pull all this off since he’s got the monopoly for nearly every wire from Dunvegan to Dum Dum]
“ I hope that works out for you, Rex,” I gulped.
“Lem, Al will learn some skills firsthand he’ll need when I’m no longer in this world and this time will also set a good example for his own heirs,” Rex sighed as he picked up a photograph of that particular branch of the family.
“In any case, we need be getting ready for the Opening so there’s no point dawdling over our meal,” Madge sniffed as she drew herself together.

I was in my best suit but I must have stuck out- or else I wasn’t swanky enough to be put on the specially built podium with Madge, the British Ambassador and his own wife, the Khadive and his favorite two wives, and other dignitaries. Rex was nowhere in sight though I knew he’d left with the rest of us.
The British Ambassador then the Khadive [in a funny rimless stovepipe hat called a ‘fez’] and all the other dignitaries made their speeches and translations but none of them got any more than the most polite applause until Rex showed up.
Even after all these years hearin’ about Rex’s theatrical stunts for every big happenin’, I was still stunned when I heard what sounded like badly greased well wheels turning real fast- only to turn my head an’ see Rex himself in some big blue helmet twice as high as his noggin with a rattler stickin’ out the front. Pshaw, a sculpture of a rattler stickin’ out of the front. And, he wore a big ole collar with all kinds of gold chains, turquoise stones and red+ blue rocks , brass bracelets with them Egyptian chicken scratches on ‘em, and a white skirt er kilt. Oh, yeah I should mention that them squeaky well wheels were chariot wheels and Rex was doin’ all he could to ape the Pharaohs as he himself drove that fancy Egyptian wheeled tin box to the Red Sea Sluice Guard where a large catapult spool winch was hooked up.
Rex drew the reins and leaped out of that chariot before it even stopped [thankfully some of his guards were able to catch up to the horses before they ran off]then ran up to the podium and made a speech in that Araby lingo with lots of hand and arm gestures that seemed to get all the workers a’ cheerin’ but I couldn’t make out a word ‘cept for what seemed to be ‘Africa’. Then, Rex repeated it in English [complete with gestures] for the rest of us.

“From as far back as Ozymandias himself, men have desired to sail from the Big Blue Mediterranean to the Red Sea and were only able make due with small,temporary ditches from the Nile or had to sail all the way around Africa via the Cape of Good Hope to reach the other side . However; from this day forth, our canal will unite East and West with our bounties- and will be, for the ages, a lasting testament to everyone’s determination and hard work even more so than Ozymandias’s colossal statues have been!” Rex proclaimed to all us English speakers’ cheering.
Then he got handed a large axe to chop that rope Sluice Guard Spool cable that looked as big as his arm but Rex shook his head, smiled then walked back to the chariot and took out a large sword. Now, I was close enough to see that someone had already made a slice about three-quarters into that cable at just the right height for Rex and I thought surely Rex would fool the rest of the crowd [at least those too far to see that slice] that he’d done it himself but he swung that sword which made such a sound cutting the air that even the nearby buzzards and hawks got spooked and took flight then with ,one fresh blow above that ‘preliminary cut’ , he sliced clean through that cable the size of his arm which caused the Catapult Spool to pull up the Sluice Guard high enough to let in a huge rush of Red Sea water into the last part of the canal. Now, tellin’ a story where everythin’ goes smoothe for a hero ain’t all that fun so the best thing I can say is that this part made things kinda fun.

The Catapult Spool only pulled up the Sluice Guard about two thirds of the way up when the rushing Red Sea water caused the geers to jam and that part of the canal was only two-thirds full compared to the rest of it. It took another five hours of using steam powered engines and smashing the Sluice Guard with gun powder before it finally was finished. Rex pressed his big hands on Madge’s ears then swore more than the whole of the British Navy in his frustration then climbed up the Catapult Spool and tried to pull the cable some more- but just succeeded in breakin it [to say nothin’ of his dignity after climbing that contraption in that Egyptian skirt]. With no real trouble, the Red Sea then the Mediterranean Sluice Gate each was inched up by steam engine and even though it was sunset [which is why it’s hard to find any clear photographs of the event] , the Alexandrian Canal was finished- which meant that all that foul water backed up behind the Royal Floating Egg Crate got flushed out and became the Red Sea’s problem. Within an hour, we were all back aboard the egg crate and, in minutes, the engines were fired up and we cruised to the Red Sea with ,back on the Suez shores, what increasingly looked like a swarming giant ant hill of Brits, Egyptians and other sightseers cheerin’ us on. Even before we lost sight of them, I wondered what they were going to do there now that the Canal was finished and we were gone- and how easy it would be for them to get back home. Still, even with my cynicism, I got thrilled as we became the very first folks to cruise [with three Royal Navy ‘support ships’ behind us] from the Mediterranean to the Red Sea [and quite a few merchant ships backed behind us which weren’t sorry to see us no longer blocking their new paths though they at least got spared the canal toll that first day that every other ship since gets charged- with Rex getting the lion’s share] . Even with the celebratory banquets and dancing inside, few of us could stay away from the decks as we sailed the Gulf of Suez towards the main Red Sea and just before midnight we had managed to cruise past Mount Sinai on the left hand shore into the open Red Sea.
What Rex had in mind when we’d dock in Jeddah, Aden and Socotra, I couldn’t imagine.
Though it was fascinating to explore the winding Araby streets and haggle with the merchants over foods and goods, I’d never imagined [even if I didn’t speak a word of the Araby lingo], I felt a bit bad for Rex and Madge not being able to join me and the few off duty folks who I invited. In Jeddah, the Turkish dignitaries kept throwing banquets and giving speeches and had large crowds cheering Rex an’ Madge but they only got to see the insides of a couple of big mosques and weren’t able to strike out on their own even for a minute the whole time they were there. They kept telling Rex they were pleased as punch that the new Canal would bring ‘em all kinds of business from the Mediterranean but they seemed anxious to keep him from trying to sneak into Mecca just a little over 40 miles away the coast like Sir Richard Burton had done 14 years ago. Rex really wanted to go [and I would have liked to as well – just to see what all that fuss was over a big rock from the sky on the corner of a building] but they told him we were forbidden as non-Mohammedans to do it. You should have heard Madge’s gasps and screams worse than a wounded peahen when Rex said he’d be willing to convert ! It took quite a bit of persuadin’ on his part to let her know he’d have only done it just to get in the city and immediately convert BACK to the C of E as soon as he left there- and that he was jokin’. Madge tried to blame me for it but it was all Rex’s idea and everyone who knows me knows I never shy away from admitting hellraisin’ notions so if I’d thought it, I’d be braggin’. So, natch, there was no conversion for him and no trip to Mecca for any of us took place but I’ve often wondered what the C of E wouldda done had its Head even temporarily been a Mohammedan- to say nothin’ about England’s Crown.
Some days later, we docked into Aden and had some better luck. Since it was a British colony not only could the flotilla got more supplies and fresh water as well as let Rex and Madge wire back and forth to England but they actually let Rex explore on his ‘own’ a bit . Granted, with some guards but he was in his Bedouin get up so he fancied himself being unnoticed and I wished I’d taken the time learn the Araby lingo like he had so I wouldn’t have had to use hands instead of my tongue to negotiate with the locals in the marketplace for that fine frankincense flavored tobacco.
I could tell Rex and Madge were really excited when we got to Socotra Island [our last stop before Bombay] and they couldn’t wait for all us to join them on horseback from the main town to show us them dragon’s blood trees that looked like upside down umbrellas among other foliage that looked like items out of them weird ole maps with monstrous flora an’ fauna on the outskirts to keep folks from wantin’ to leave home. Rex laughed at everyone else’s shock when he pointed out these plants reminded him of boyhood at Kew Palace where many of these plants got imported. Then, he invited me alone to join him on one of them beaches and I thought it would be for swimming. No doubt that the sugary sand and crystal blue water was far more inviting for that that any of the brackish ports we’d put into- to say nothing of that Canal and for about an hour with both of us in our short pants, we had a fantastic time swimming . I thought Rex was going to become a man-mermaid any moment for all his swimming against the strong currents and diving deeper than I’d seen a man do before- to say nothing of staying underwater for longer than I thought possible for someone not drowning. It weren’t for nothing that I started to think myself like a surface loving crab watching a depth -loving whale wonderin’ what was so interestin’ down there.
I was getting a bit jittery ready to get a guard [who seemed rather unconcerned that their bread-and-butter could get permanently soggy] to help me out when Rex suddenly resurfaced.
“Rex! What took you so long?” I asked.
“You should see the place. Sharks, sponges, coral and fish of more colors than anyone could imagine! I felt like Poseidon discovering a hidden part of his realm,” Rex laughed.
“Well, ya scared about ten years off me –and you already look younger than me to boot !” I fumed.
“ Sorry, Lem but hopefully one day someone will bring photographic plates down there to show you and the world the Creator’s wonders down there like your Mr. Audubon with his prints for birds , “Rex laughed as he mussed my hair.
But then some of his Royal Navy crew showed up to the beach with two huge crates- and I thought they’d be canoes or flatboats for us to sail in even though the Indian Ocean’s currents were far stronger than the Mississippi’s or Nile’s.
“I told you your tales of the Sandwich Islands inspired me to invite you- and one of the most intriguing tales had to do with your attempt at surf swimming!” Rex proclaimed- and at that very moment the Royal Navy men unboxed two of those carved scary giant wooden planks that had haunted me ever since the Sandwich Island. Yeah, surf swim boards.

“You ain’t gitting me near one of them things! No one but Sandwich Island natives can ride ‘em!” I sputtered-as Rex mounted one like a horse.
“I read your account and I refuse to believe we don’t have the capacity. To say that only Sandwich Islanders can ride them is about as defeatist as saying only Europeans can be literate,” Rex proclaimed.
“Don’t you be philosphyin’ me into this,” I scoffed.
First Rex got on his stomach and kicked up a current to keep up with the waves before they broke, then he stood up and, after about two or three falls, he actually was able to stay on the swim surf board and surf like a Sandwich Island native- for about ten feet at a time.
“There!See? It CAN be done by a non-Sandwich Island native! I’ll hold your board steady as you try it next!” Rex insisted.
“Me? No surprise you can do it but I ain’t got your vim!” I protested.
“Lem, do you know that the very first time I tried to ride a horse when I was three, I fell off? But I refused to be defeated and even over Grandpapa’s protests I insisted on remounting that horse. If I hadn’t done that I would have never known the thrill of galloping and jumping fences –leaving mounted guardmen frustrated at trying to maintain my pace!” Rex laughed.
“But horses got horse sense an’ can be reasoned with. Waves ain’t got no reasonin!’”I gasped.
“I’ll hold onto the board and not let go until the wave’s just right then I’ll push you out,” Rex insisted.
“You did this teachin’ your boys horseback ridin’ , didn’t ya?” I asked.
“Correct and just before we left England, I did this for my baby girl Francie- the Princess Royal,” Rex reflected.
“But she’s barely three an’. .” I gasped.
“I didn’t let any of them fall and I won’t let you fall either. Now on the count of three, grab onto the edges of the board with your toes and hold on while I push you then when you’ve got your balance, hold on while the wave propels you to shore,” Rex insisted.
So, yes, Readers, I FINALLY swam surfed and it was amazing like I was King Neptune skimmin’ over his subjects [like Rex said]an’ even fallin’ into the undertow ten seconds later wasn’t so bad . However; I decided I’d better quit while I had a winning hand so I just watched Rex surf swim for the next couple of hours before we rode back to the dock then joined the others on the Royal eggcrate by sundown.
We cruised from Socotra three days later for the weeklong trek over the Indian Ocean to Bombay and from Aden onwards, everyone but Rex was getting jittery at what they’d heard about happenin’ in India. Near Delhi [our ultimate destination], there was a saboteur called The Tiger who was makin’ all kinds of mischief by pullin’ stunts like uprootin’ railroad ties (spikes and all) like saplings with just his bare hands[luckily just on spur lines so far], punching and kicking holes in steam engines with his fists and feet an’ having such fast moves and reflexes that no horse had been able to catch him or bullet find its mark on him. Not to mention, he strikes while coverin’ his head an’ face in a gigantic turban and he himself is a virtual giant amongst the scrawny Hindoos. Oh, and he’s saying that the Moghuls failed India an’ no one can rule India unless they endure The Tiger’s Embrace .
One night, I was tryin’ to sleep but couldn’t on account of a steady thumpin’ sound on the roof of cabin. It must have been three in the morning but I had to investigate who or what it was that kept thumpin’ – only to discover it was Rex himself running around the whole Main Deck of the ship.
“What in tarnation are ya runnin’ around here like spooked race horse on a track?” I asked.
“Sorry, Lem. I couldn’t sleep. In a few days, we’re due to make landfall in Bombay but I can’t help but wonder what to do about The Tiger,” Rex sighed-as he slowed down.
“Surely, the whole of the combined British and Indian native armies could capture and take ‘im down,” I pondered.
“One would think but he seems to be stronger than virtually any man around – myself included,” Rex gulped.
“Come now, Sire. Don’t tell me you’re afraid of him,” I laughed.
“No but he seems determined to disrupt things and he seems to have gained a large following despite his lone wolf nature,” Rex pondered.
“Well, so far he just seems to be vandalizing and not actually hurtin’ anyone. Ya think he’s trying to scare ya and the other Brits away- just because you’re ruling their land instead of lettin’ them rule themselves?” I asked.
“Now, don’t start that again, Lem. I intend to guide them into the larger world instead of being an autocrat- and the Ceremony has been planned for months,” Rex proclaimed.
“So what’s this gnat’s buzzin’ got ya an’ everyone else so riled?” I asked.
“That’s just it. I don’t think he’s a gnat. In fact, I think he believes we’re the gnats and he intends to publicly squash us- and if we somehow took him down, that would make the populace turn against us,” Rex sighed.
“Yeah, no one likes their heroes’ clay feet washed out from under ‘em,” I nodded.
“I just wish Swami were around to help advise me how to overcome The Tiger,” Rex groaned.
“Swami?” I gulped.
“The only man besides Grandpapa I ever bowed to,” Rex bragged.
“You bowed to a Hindoo?” I gasped- and looked around.
“He taught me infinitely more about leadership and fortitude by example than Father ever did by demands and dictums,” Rex proclaimed.
The whole world knew that he and the onetime Prince Regent were on stormy terms their whole lives an’ only after the Prince Leopold’s death two years past was he able to invite his three pasty, stunted German half-brothers to England . Not wanting to chance being told to jump ship in mid ocean, I decided to just ask about the Swami.
“How did you meet the Swami?” I asked.
“Almost my earliest memory was of folks whispering that my infancy’s diphtheria had doomed me to be a weakened, sickly child -unable for Grandpapa to have any hope for. So, I prayed to God that He would make me the strongest boy in the world and send me whatever means in the world to make that possible which He did when Grandpapa summoned Swami to us when I was five,” Rex recalled.
I couldn’t help but gulp at thinking that the Almighty seemed to have answered his prayers even more than Joshua blowin’ down Jericho’s walls.
“Yeah, I’d heard about how you’d grown up with a Hindoo mystic before you got the Crown,” I recalled.
“Swami was far more than a mystic but someone who knew how to transform the body and mind into an invincible fortress and it was through his exercises, food and discipline that built the foundations for what everyone sees today as I have never failed to do his rituals- not even for a single day no matter anyone’s objections even Father’s and Her Majesty’s,” Rex explained.
“ Yer definitely a jackrabbit even when everyone would prefer you a tortoise. What happened to your Swami anyway?” I asked thinking about how onboard he’d spend most every bit of free time sculptin’ himself in his many contraptions –even insistin’ on having meetings with everyone else standing around while he kept pushin’ himself.
“ When Grandpapa died and Father established his Regency, he had Swami and his entire family sent back to India- and I was never to hear from Swami again even after I achieved my Majority and had enquiries made,” Rex groaned like more than one friend I knew whose folks sold their childhood retainers away during antebellum times.
“ Not nothin’?” I asked.
“ All I know is that they arrived safely in Bombay in mid 1831 then dropped off the face of the Earth thereafter. I just wish I had been able to summon him back to help me teach my own sons but they seem more inclined to give themselves to softness and indulgences like Gran. .. their more distant ancestors than follow in my footsteps,” Rex explained.
Not wanting to upset him more about the already chubby Prince of Wales and his Grandpappy’s memory, I coughed a bit then changed the subject a little.
“You think you might could meet up with any of the Swami’s young’ uns and see if one of them could give ya ideas about what to do with this Tiger?” I asked.
“Well, Swami taught me many tricks and I’ve learned a few more down the decades having to deal with Parliament trying to overwhelm my Subjects in order to deepen their own coffers,” Rex pondered.
“So, any tricks ya think might be enough to scare The Tiger to scamper back to his den?” I asked.
“Oh, there is one trick that could do it but I think we should wait until we’re alone so as not to startle the others,” Rex laughed.
“Rex, three in the AM in the middle of the ocean as about as close to alone as we’re goin’ to get what with Her Majesty, the crew, the guards and all them stuffy officials,” I sighed.
“You’re right. That’s why I chose you instead of the flatterer Tennyson or that mawkish Dickens to join us,” Rex laughed- then took a deep breath.
What happened next was something that had to be seen –or rather heard to have been believed and even then would have been debated as havin’ happened.
“<ROWWWWWAAHHHRRRRRRR>!!!!” Rex roared sounding closer to a tiger than I thought any human could muster even down to the throat catching and reverberations easily overwhelming the usual chugging of steam engines - punctuating the otherwise still night sea air.
At once every single person on board awoke with quite a few women’s [and even a few men’s] screams piercing the night some more before ,within moments, it seemed more crewmen, soldiers, officers and officials than I knew were below stormed the Main Deck in all manners of attire with guns drawn ready to take down whatever monster had attached itself to the Main Deck, scurryin’ around like mice in a barn at the first sight a spilt milk bucket. At the tail end of the mice colony was Madge-who seemed the only other person on board not frightened. On the contrary, Madge was fit to be tied [even more than overcoming whatever reluctance she may have had in having everyone seeing her in her night clothes].
“Alexander, how dare you cause such a panic with that tiger roar!” Madge fumed.
Yep, she actually used his Christian name in front of us!
“But, Francesca, you quite liked it on our honey-,” Rex started to say.
“Never you mind! I suppose we can thank Mr. Clemens for this latest episode. Am I right?” Madge sniffed.
“Ma’am, I didn’t know he was gonna . .an’ I didn’t know he couldda,” I sputtered.
“May I ask Your Majesty why Your Majesty did. .?” asked the next highest ranking personage to Madge- namely the incoming Viceroy to India that we picked up in Aden whose name escapes me.
“I believe I demonstrated that we are not to be outflanked by The Tiger- especially since I possess his namesake’s roar. Now, I apologize for waking or startling everyone on duty at this time but we have nothing to fear from The Tiger,” Rex proclaimed.
Gotta say the rest of the voyage to Bombay was rather uneventful- save that the pantry crew reported that every single mouse on board seemed to have jumped ship after Rex’s roar so, at least, he saved the food.

The reception we got in Bombay was incredible with Rex and Madge each put atop their own rather fancy elephant in some kind of seat/saddle called a ‘howdah’. Madge, just sat there in her ornate silken robes and grimly smiled while she let the elephant handlers guide her elephant through the cheering crowd with dozens of pretty Hindoo and Mohammedan girls throwing flowers at the elephant’s feet during the procession. Rex wore a turban with a large ruby on top, along with a fancy red vest and yellow silk Hindoo knickers and barefoot as he’d constantly been since Aden. Oh, and Rex being Rex couldn’t just sit still on the elephant but actually climbed out of his howdah and jumped on his elephant’s neck to ride it like a horse- all the while responding back to the Hindustani and Persian cheers in Hindustani and Persian. How he’s learned eight languages[German, French,Spanish, Italian, Hindi, Arabic, Persian and Russian along with a bit of Mandarin Chinese] with him not sittin’ still boggles the mind.
Yeah, Bombay was stunning and destitute with every imaginable luxury and poverty in plain sight and more folks in the streets than I thought could fit ‘em.
Not a boo to be heard but I couldn’t help but think that not everyone wanted Rex there.
After about a week in Bombay touring many sites [including those stunning Hindoo and Buddhist temples carved in the caves on Elefanta Island just off the coast], we got on the longest, fanciest train imaginable towards Delhi where Rex’s Ceremony would happen. Behind Rex’s train was another one with all the baggage- and several cars to make up the kitchen. Every so often, Rex’s train would stop to let the Kitchen Train catch up- and the servers in their fanciest clothes would leap from their own train to Rex’s serving the finest food from right outside the cars. As strong as I objected to them hoppin’ like jack rabbits so close to the rails, at least Rex had insisted that the trains be stopped each time before doing this unlike the usual order of them risking it all on moving trains.
After a four day rail journey, we reached Delhi’s outskirts and Rex insisted we disembark from the train and make our entrance through the shiny, destitute, exotic and intriguing streets of Delhi all the way to the Red Fort Palace by ,yep, more elephants. Now, I had nothing against them critters but it did get tiresome seein’ their backsides while the rest of us followed on horses- especially since their backsides’ outputs put them poor horses’ to shame - an’ it didn’t just land on the streets when we horse riders got too close. As in Bombay, Rex rode his elephant like a horse and even stood upright for a time, balancing himself like he was swim surfing again. Oh, and this time Rex went so far as to do a standing back flip while the elephant was moving! That got the crowds a cheering. All the while, he kept waving shouting back in Persian and Hindustani.
We hadn’t heard nothin’ more about The Tiger since we landed but I couldn’t help but think he’d be more ready to strike the deeper we got into his territory.

In spite of all my protests [and I was the only one voicing what the others didn’t say], Rex and Madge went ahead and officially became Emperor and Empress of India in the Red Fort with the C of E Bishop of Delhi presiding and the highest ranking Mohammedan iman,a Hindoo priest,a Sikh priest, a Buddhist abbot ,a Parsee priest and even a Bombay Jewish rabbi they could find nodding along to give their seals of approval. You all have read countless accounts of all the jewels, bowing and speeches,etc. given to Rex and Rex promising to be champion of India’s subjects the same way he was England’s subjects so I’ll skip that part but even I in my most jaded disgust for fodderal couldn’t ignore the Moghul Farewell Salute. Right after Rex got crowned with a turbaned crown with more jewels than night sky stars- and Madge got crowned with an extra fancy tiara, the ex-Moghul Emperor swore fealty to the new dynasty in exchange for a fine palace on a distant island and a very comfortable pension promised for three generations and a new title ‘Prince of Kavaratti’ . Although there had been calls for execution from Hindus furious at him siding with East India Company in the East Indian War of 1855 [which had rebelled against Rex for closing down its opium mills, which the ex Moghul Emperor had had some interest in, back in ’40 but found themselves defeated by a combination of Rex’s forces and native Indian troops], Rex couldn’t stomach the idea of executing a fellow ruler or even an ex one [same way Queen Elizabeth didn’t want folks gettin’ any ideas after the Queen of Scots got executed] so he’d forced the Moghul Emperor to abdicate but let him keep living in the Red Fort under constant guard until now. Now with Rex and Madge establishing a new dynasty, they couldn’t have two emperors living in the Red Fort even temporarily and Rex thought it a more fittin’ end to the last ruling descendent of Genghis Khan to have him end his days as a vassal prince on a tiny island than just have him executed- and right after that the ex Moghul Emperor and the ex Empress along with their family , several hundred of his servants- and some aging harem inmates er residents started their procession from Delhi to their new exile.
As much as I disliked Rex makin’ himself Emperor of a subcontinent of a whole Babel of peoples,faiths and languages who I thought would be best left to their own devises, I didn’t want anything bad to happen to him or Madge [whose reactions were funnier than the hardest workin’ music hall performers]. However; I kinda hoped The Tiger might at least put in an appearance to make an objection- at least to give Rex more a shot of conscience than my voice alone were doing amongst all them toady worshippers. I also was wonderin’ if The Tiger actually lived up to his billin’ and whether the Brits needed to be as squallin’ about him as they were. So, I had to admit I was downright anxious to see what’d happen next when news at the Banquet came that the Tiger had been captured alive in the Red Fort and was now in a cage just outside before being put in the strongest dungeon prison the Red Fort possessed before bein’ executed for treason.
“ So, how was did your unit capture him again, Briggs?” Rex asked while perched on that Imperial Throne.
“Oh, it wasn’t easy but it was by stealth, cunning and our combined strengths we were able to achieve our goal, Your Majesty. .Your Imperial Majesty,” Officer Briggs smirked as he bowed even lower than the Hindoos had before.
“Of course, once your account is verified, I will award your unit an Alexandrian Gordian Knot Cross for valor and service to the Crown and promote you to a Lieutenant but, first, I’d like to see him,” Rex pondered with a puzzled look on his face.
“Sir, you’d like to see him? But he’s a most dangerous, brutish monster who. .. and you can’t leave the Banquet immediately after your Coronation,” the viceroy gasped.
“Very well. Have The Tiger brought here in his cage,” Rex proclaimed.
Now, you can imagine the hullabaloo amongst all the Brits, Indians, Persians,etc. over that but none of us couldn’t contain our curiosity.
Somehow, they got that cage on a cart and wheeled it in even though the whole apparatus seemed on the verge of topplin’ due to The Tiger’s shakin’ and strugglin’ against all the chains on each of his limbs binding him to the roof and floor of the steel cage. Oddly enough, he still wore a gigantic turban that made his head seemed three times human size along with that veil coverin’ his entire face save for the eyes – and, but for a ocre loincloth coverin’ his dignity, that’s all he wore. And, even in the cage, I could tell he was bigger, broader and brawnier than most other men and must have been a giant amongst the usual scrawny, puny looking Hindoos.
In a matter of moments, the frantic stirrings and screams gave way to twisted laughin’ and folks throwin’ food at the cage with the exception of Rex himself who actually seemed to smile.
Now, even I who had wheezed and sneezed through that whole meal of Vesuvian spices on every imaginable vegetable but no steak in sight, was appalled at that spectacle. I thought it a criminal waste of food [especially with more starving masses outside than Dickens could have imagined in Revolutionary Paris]to say nothing of being appalled seein’ such high an’ mighty self-important folks acting like monkeys in a zoo -carrying on like that to The Tiger.
I gotta admit, I was mighty disappointed that Rex had let that Imperial Crown go to his head so fast that he seemed to be ready to treat The Tiger like a human spoil of war getting’ thrown to Colosseum’s lions for the crowd’s glee and imperial ‘glory’. I was downright steamin’ when a guard summoned me out of my seat to join Rex but, being unattached and havin’ no kin any closer to Missouri, I had nothin’ to lose giving Rex a piece of my mind even if I got thrown to said lions for a palate cleanser after they’d consumed The Tiger.
Meantime, The Tiger was yellin’ somethin’ fierce that got all those who knew Hindustani both frantic and offended- though I saw Rex smile again.
Rex had already walked down from the Imperial Throne Altar [over Madge’s and all them Brit nabobs’ protests] when I was led to ‘im.
“Rex, what’re ya gonna do with him? Ya ain’t gonna give into the bloodlust right here an now. Can ya?” I had to ask.
“As all my Hindu and Muslim princes have pointed out in the last few hours, I’m Emperor and I technically can have a traitor executed in any manner I see fit at any time,” Rex smirked- as we walked towards the cage set in the middle of the Banquet Hall.
“But that’s savage an’ barbaric- and you keep sayin’ that you’re here to ready this subcontinent for the modern world,” I pleaded.
“So I am. Tell me,Lem, do you think it makes any sense that someone strong enough to uproot rail ties and fast enough to outrun horses could be captured and put in chains by the likes of that guard unit unless that’s what he wanted?” Rex asked- while pointing to the somewhat hapless looking guard unit.
The Tiger shouted those Hindustani demands again.
“But he’s trapped now an’. ..” I sputtered.
“Are you sure that he is or do you think he’s hoping to entrap me?” Rex pondered.
“If that’s the case, then why . ..?” I started to ask when suddenly The Tiger jolted his right arm free from its chain by pulling it apart like it was a string- then did the same with his left, before using his now free hands to pull apart the chains around the ankles then pulling apart with his gigantic hands, the individual steel bracelets and ankle braces then, finally grabbin’ the opposite cage bars with his enormous hands, pulling himself up to horizontal level then using his own gigantic bare feet to kick out the cage door clean off its hinges.
And The Tiger did all this in roughly the time it took for you to read this!
Suddenly, all them folks who thought they were so smugly brave an’ clever for throwin’ stuff at him, ran as fast as they could in their respective skirts an’ uniforms to hide behind the nearest tables and chairs- but I could also hear a few triggers cocked amongst the panic.
“Hold your fire! I command this as Your Emperor!” Rex proclaimed as he held up his hand and walked towards The Tiger- even though The Tiger was several inches taller an’ broader than even Rex.
“But, Rex,” I gulped- as I stayed behind him since he seemed to be the only obstacle keepin’ The Tiger from tearin’ apart the rest of us.
“Let’s see how The Tiger reacts to a real tiger roar,” Rex smirked- then made an even more fearsome, louder tiger roar that startled and excited folks than the one he’d done that night on the Royal eggcrate in the Indian Ocean.
The Tiger smiled broadly- then made his OWN tiger roar even louder than Rex’s [and I think every cat, mouse and dog for miles who could run was cleared from the Red Fort for the rest of their lives after hearing that dueling man-tiger duo].
“ I said no one can be fit to rule India unless he is willing to embrace The Tiger,” The Tiger shouted – in perfect British-sounding English- which caught all of us by surprise, Rex seemingly excepted.
After the screams and gasps died down.
“Yes, I spent enough time on your ‘Sceptered Isle’ to learn your language fluently whilst on a worthy mission even if I had to journey to Mount Kailas for cleanse thereafter,” The Tiger proclaimed.

“You know I won’t let anyone or anything harm India or its peoples regardless of whether they are my Subjects,” Rex proclaimed as he steadily walked towards him with fists clenched at his side- taking off his fancy turban jeweled crown, elaborate silk robes and kicking off his Hindoo sandals so he was just in his red silk vest and yellow silk Hindoo trousers.
“Be willing to embrace The Tiger,” The Tiger proclaimed.
“If The Tiger wants to challenge me, than I must accept this challenge. If the strongest man in all India tears me apart like a chicken carcass, I have ten children and seven grandchildren to succeed me but they will know that I was willing to sacrifice myself to protect India!” Rex proclaimed to our collective surprise.
“Sire, you’ll be killed and he won’t leave this room alive,” I gasped.
“Then, I will reveal my face to be seen so all can see before we meet our destiny!” The Tiger proclaimed- as he took off his turban and and let down his hair which tumbled all the way down to his feet.
Man, he had so much hair that I’d think if Samson had had that amount, he could have taken out ten thousand Philistines instead of one thousand with a jawbone- and while his billing had made us all think his face would be like one of them demons out of an Elefanta Island temple or a Gothic cathedral gargoyle, his dusky Adonis face somehow fit with his East Indian Atlas physique.
With that, Rex embraced him- and The Tiger embraced him back.
“Well done, Little One. You faced certain death with cunning and bravery while protecting the Empire. You proved yourself even more worthy to rule than I had ever imagined from my observations down the years- and your roar was even more impressive than I’d imagined it would be after your voice changed,” The Tiger proclaimed- as they clenched each other’s gigantic right biceps .
“ !Namaste” Rex and The Tiger proclaimed to each other while folding their hands and bowing to each other.
“No need for alarm, Subjects! I have ensured we have the mightiest of allies on our side. If Paris is worth a mass, then surely the safety of our nations is worth an embrace and a bow!” Rex proclaimed.
Suddenly, it hit me. These were far from mortal enemies and they knew each other while everyone else was in frantic chaos over that turn of events mulling it over with each other to pay too much attention, I whispered to Rex.
“You know each other, don’t ya?” I whispered.
“Very good observation- and, Swami Gordma, I’d like to introduce you to Mr. Samuel Clemens from the Former Colonies,” Rex proclaimed- as The Tiger .. er Swami took his giant hand and shook mine damn near breakin’ it despite being gentle- just like Rex.
I was too stunned to argue much less remember till later that Missouri had NEVER been a British colony.
“Swami?! But you’d have to be about seventy an’ you an’ Rex look like contemporaries like you’re both ready for thirty,” I gasped.
“Yes, My Miniscule Friend, I’m far closer to thirty than seventy,” The Tiger beamed while Rex looked ready to bust a gut holding in a laugh.
“Will you tell him or shall I?” Rex laughed.
“Tell me what?” I asked.
“He will be ready for thirty in another ten years, alright- for the second time!” Rex laughed.
“The second time?!” I gulped.
“ We could tell you how His Imperial Majesty arranged a fine 80th Birthday party for yours truly and my three generations of progeny at the time – when he was the ten-year-old Heir Presumptive or we could tell you that I am a man of 25 who inherited the name and physique of a legendary, distant ancestor as we will tell everyone else who might inquire,” Swami the Tiger laughed –as I struggled to realize that this mighty mountain of a man not only was easily the strongest man in India but if what him an’ Rex were sayin’ were true, Swami Gordma was six score of age- and likely numbered among the oldest men if not the oldest himself in India.
“Lem, which do you think would be more credible or better to be believed for your sake?” Rex laughed- as the two giants leaned on each side of me.
I confess I felt like a mouse hoping the two elephants loomin’ above me wouldn’t stomp me to a mousy pancake but then I remembered somethin’ that made no sense but likely God had given them to help their survival- elephants are scared of mice! An’ the mightiest kings are afraid of one clashing voice among a fawning choir.

“Let me chew on that a bit, Rex and Swami,” I pondered while the stunned crowd started to calm down a bit.
“Sir, what does His Imperial Majesty intend to do with this . .. thing?” sniffed the viceroy who approached us along with Madge and his own wife.
“ Tomorrow is my 50th Birthday and I intend to make Swami Gordma the Guest of Honor,” Rex proclaimed.
“You’re inviting him to the Celebration?” gasped Madge.
“Yes, Francesca, and his entire family as well,” Rex proclaimed.
“Alexander!” Madge gasped.
“That will do, Francesca. They’re actually quite learned and cultured even if it’s the Eastern rather than the Western one,” Rex laughed.
“Your Imperial Majesty, it’s bad enough that you have had to go. . .native in what should have a triumph of West over East but for you to invite that savage, barbarian to that proceeding, I won’t stand for it,” seethed the viceroy.
“Since you put it that way, Monmouth[finally remembered the name], the door is that way and I’ll be happy to arrange to have passage all the way back to England for you and your lovely wife,” Rex sneered-as he pointed to a small side door adjacent to the banquet hall’s gigantic pair of double doors that had been pried open for Rex and Madge’s entrance.
This brought a gasp from ‘his lovely wife’ whom no one else would have termed her as her looks somewhat matched her worser half’s pettiness.
“ My Macedonian Namesake knew that his Empire wouldn’t last if other cultures weren’t welcomed and I won’t have you soiling our nations’ bond first thing,” Rex proclaimed-as he pointed towards the door.
“But, Your Majesty, Her Majesty herself objected and. .” Monmouth [the now- former viceroy] gasped.
“True, she did but she’s the Empress, the Queen, the mother of my children and my wife . Moreover, we love each other. Hence, she has all the rights to disagree with me. Civil servants DO NOT! Leave on your own accord or I will physically eject you from the Red Fort myself,” Rex ordered- as Monmouth redfacedly took his wife by the arm and stormed out not even bothering to back out.
“Not that I had any likin’ for him but what’re ya gonna do about findin’ a new Viceroy who’ll run things for ya after you and Madge go home?” I asked- surprising myself with showin’ some sympathy for a place that had a system I despised.
“An excellent question, Mr. Clemens. Swami Gordma, you know more about India and its peoples from the inside out than the whole of the output of the Court of St. James [Palace]. Would you like . ..?”Rex started to ask.
“Little One, I have yet to accept the invitation to your Semi- Centenary Celebration, “ Swami Gordma replied.
“My mistake. I did not formally invite you and Lady Rebathi but I extend that invitation now,” Rex insisted.
“Little One, Lady Rebathi is no more but my current consort Lady Dharani I’m sure would be more than happy to join us and the rest of our family,” Swami Gordma explained.
“Wonderful. How old is Lady Dharani, may I ask?” Rex giggled.
“She just had her 20th birthday last month and we’ve been blessed with three sons since our nuptuals four years past,” Swami Gordma laughed with a booming laugh.
“Alexander, His Majesty cannot be serious in asking him whether. .” Madge started to gasp.

“This wondrous subcontinent needs someone who can solve the Babel rather than be a Nimrod to it and who will ensure my edicts and wishes get acted upon to the best of his ability. So what say you, Swami?” Rex asked.
“I will be honored to trumpet your voice in these lands. I accept BOTH your invitations,” Swami Gordma proclaimed as he and Rex shook hands.
"Before we get too bogged down here. How 'bout tellin' us how you got caged by them guards- 'specially since that cage didn't seem to hold ya any better than a wet paper cone could hold a mongoose," I asked.
Swami laughed rather heartily on that one. In fact that laugh was so loud it near muffled nearby elephants' trumpettin'.
"I merely waited until the shift change for the Red Fort's main gate, then I used that time to take a nap directly in front of the guard post and didn't stir until they did what I expected of them," Swami laughed.
"You played possum!" I exclaimed.
"Would you explain that idiom to me, Little One?" Swami asked Rex.
" I'm afraid it's one of Mr. Clemens' American ones so we'll both need an explanation for it later. However; I see I was correct that you did bait the trap! It looks as though you get the Alexandrian Gordian Knot Cross" Rex laughed
"He's getting it?" Madge asked.
"Yes, Francesca. He definitely used cunning and valor to outflank the enemy- and he saved us and the subcontinent from a disastrous viceroy," Rex laughed.
Needless to say the rest of Rex’s Coronation and Rex’s 50th Birthday Celebrations were quite lively affairs with Rex gloating at having all them stuffy,prejudiced Brits havin’ to consider a Native East Indian as their ultimate superior only answerin' to Rex. Swami'skin turned out wearing their Hindoo vestments with Swami himself proudly wearin' that Gordian Knot Cross, round his neck- and a brand new breechcloth. Rex and the Swami worked out plans how to start an Indian Parliament from a land that had been ruled forever before by princes and rajahs. Though, of course, there were large numbers of British units who mulled around to supposed guard the new Viceroy and his young family [as well as five generations of ‘cousins’ who seemed to stunted saplings under that tree's shadow [not unlike Rex's boys] and deferred to the Swami an' told everyone they took pride in being descended from the ‘Original’ Swami Gordma ], everyone knew the new Viceroy was more than able to fend for himself and few were stupid enough to provoke him. Though, he admitted missing the freedom of being able to wander the whole Indian subcontinent solo , the Red Fort had more than enough room for him to conduct his exercises -and folks of every native stripe in India took pride in having one of their own rule. So, after a month touring some more sights with Rex, Madge and the new Viceroy, we all parted ways in Calcutta on good terms with Rex and Madge takin' their Royal eggcrate back to England while I was able to make my way back to Stateside where I met a fair Yankee named Lavinia.
So, Friends, Readers and Others, that’s one Missourian’s account of how Rex finished the Alexandrian Canal, became the Indian Emperor and found a most unlikely Viceroy. So, what do I think is true about Rex and the Swami? Well, Rex definitely had to get his legendary vim and extended youth from somewhere other than them other fat, flabby and sedentary Royals and, if any of you read about either of them young Goliaths being the sole pall bearer to carry my aged wizened corpse's coffin - despite being at least a couple of decades ahead of me, don’t be too surprised.-

Mark Twain, New York, 1868.
 
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