AHC: Wank Dianne Abbott

powerab

Dianne Abbott is one of the UK's most controversial politicians, with several gaffes and blunders in a political career spanning back to 1982, standing for Labour Leader in 2010, serving as a junior shadow minister under Ed Miliband and more recently as Shadow Home Secretary.

Your challenge, if you chose to accept it, is to make Dianne Abbott as powerful and as successful as possible, good luck
 

Aberblue

powerab said:
Dianne Abbott is one of the UK's most controversial politicians, with several gaffes and blunders in a political career spanning back to 1982, standing for Labour Leader in 2010, serving as a junior shadow minister under Ed Miliband and more recently as Shadow Home Secretary.

Your challenge, if you chose to accept it, is to make Dianne Abbott as powerful and as successful as possible, good luck
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I'd say she's already as successful as possible. That such an error-prone, arrogant, talentless politician could reach the level of the shadow cabinet simply beggars belief.
 

593jones

The title of the thread gave me quite a turn, had to go and lie down! Anyway, I reckon Aberblue has pretty much hit the nail on the head. So far and no further, please!
 

Japhy

Banned
I mean obviously the thing to do is to have a way to have her win the leadership race in 2010, no?
 
TrueFactsUnstated

TrueFactsUnstated

"Wank Dianne Abbott"

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shiftygiant

shiftygiant

Gone Fishin'
Japhy said:
I mean obviously the thing to do is to have a way to have her win the leadership race in 2010, no?
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The problem is that she immediately runs into the same issue we would have if we tried a 'Fox in 2016' or 'Ancram in 2001'- she came last, and it'd difficult to see how she could realistic pull of a victory short of everyone else dying. Really she needs to be a stronger and more articulate politician who is less gaffe prone, though how to accomplish that and still have her been Diane is a bit tricky.
 

Japhy

Banned
shiftygiant said:
The problem is that she immediately runs into the same issue we would have if we tried a 'Fox in 2016' or 'Ancram in 2001'- she came last, and it'd difficult to see how she could realistic pull of a victory short of everyone else dying. Really she needs to be a stronger and more articulate politician who is less gaffe prone, though how to accomplish that and still have her been Diane is a bit tricky.
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Oh of course. To take an old Othertimelines. Com concept out of the Grave where it belongs though a "Perfect Storm" can always theoretically be devised. Even if we have to as you say, kill everyone else. Have the right scandals come up, gaffes come out and the wrong questions asked and theoretically anyone can prevail. Low probability AH and all but it's doable.
 
shiftygiant

shiftygiant

Gone Fishin'
Japhy said:
Oh of course. To take an old Othertimelines. Com concept out of the Grave where it belongs though a "Perfect Storm" can always theoretically be devised. Even if we have to as you say, kill everyone else. Have the right scandals come up, gaffes come out and the wrong questions asked and theoretically anyone can prevail. Low probability AH and all but it's doable.
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Well, I suppose that if the contest was straight up Abbott v Harriet Harman or Jack Straw, it could work, though this would require both Ed Balls and David Miliband to be out of the picture- not hard to be honest, Balls can simply have lost his seat in 2010 and Miliband pull a For Want of a Paragraph. Ed Miliband and Andy Burnham can bottle it at the last moment, maybe they see a big beast come in and step aside. Having her win would require more charisma on her part, though a perfect storm of events wouldn't be too far fetched, especially if Harman or Straw ran.

If she became leader she'd do... well, to strike an analogy, have you ever seen The Thick of It?
 
Comisario

Comisario

shiftygiant said:
Well, I suppose that if the contest was straight up Abbott v Harriet Harman or Jack Straw, it could work, though this would require both Ed Balls and David Miliband to be out of the picture- not hard to be honest, Balls can simply have lost his seat in 2010 and Miliband pull a For Want of a Paragraph. Ed Miliband and Andy Burnham can bottle it at the last moment, maybe they see a big beast come in and step aside. Having her win would require more charisma on her part, though a perfect storm of events wouldn't be too far fetched, especially if Harman or Straw ran.

If she became leader she'd do... well, to strike an analogy, have you ever seen The Thick of It?
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Should be noted that the left only chose Abbott because a woman wasn't running. If it's Harman vs anyone, it's Harman vs McDonnell.
 

Alexander the Average

I like to think there's a parallel universe somewhere, where Diane Abbot is fondly regarded as the nation's eccentric absent-minded Aunt, and Boris Johnson is a national embarrassment that the Tories desperately hope everyone forgets exists.

Maybe as a PoD you could have Robert Maxwell succeed in buying out News of the World whilst Rupert Murdoch dies in an unfortunate accident. As a result Maxwell is able to consolidate a significant media empire that is tribally loyal to the Labour Party. Because of this different media climate Diane Abbot's public persona and reception is a lot more positive which helps her to cultivate a reputation as a leading light of the Labour Left, not unlike Meacher or Livingstone, both of whom were quite well-regarded and influential despite their shortcomings (9/11 conspiracy theorist and terminal foot-in-mouth disease respectively).
 

Coulsdon Eagle

Monthly Donor
[Images in mind - must find brain bleach...]

As a Labour Party member can I just say that this thread massively overestimates how effective Ms. Abbott is - or was now she's been temporarily replaced. My colleague had to cut down a tree yesterday and we agreed that it would have been a perfect replacement for her but for the fact it was not dead.
 
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