AHC: "Mr. President, we cannot allow an AH gap!"

OK, I'm going to take this away from POTUS ever so slightly, but I think it's worth it.

Gary Hart: "Senator, I have some terrible news. I've just heard that there were arrests at the Watergate complex, and the DNC was the target."
George McGovern: "You're right. That's awful. Do you suspect the Republicans?"
Hart: "Not just suspect it, I know it. They claimed they were plumbers, but what plumber breaks into an office without any plumbing tools?"
McGovern: "Indeed. I trust the DCPD are handling matters, though. We would be unwise to get involved."
Hart: "Involved? Senator, they may have already stolen campaign strategy documents! Richard Nixon may already know everything we plan for the remainder of the election. No, we can't let this stand, or he'll whip us for sure."
McGovern: "I don't think I like where this is going."
Hart: "But you have to. Senator, we have to get them back. I know some people, and the location of the RNC is public knowledge..."
McGovern: "Absolutely not! What kind of a man do you think I am, Hart?"
Hart: "The right man to be President! And I won't sit idly by while Nixon destroys everything we've worked for! Senator McGovern, we cannot allow a plumber's gap!"
 
1977: President Ford barely had enough time to celebrate his second inaugural when he got the news from the Secretary of Commerce.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked.

"Yes, Mr. President." The Secretary showed him a computer printout of figures. "By our estimate, the Soviets will have twice as many clothing stores as we do in Moscow alone by 1985 if this continues. Mr. President, we cannot allow ourselves to fall into the Gap!":D
 
2004: GW Bush steps down, and his chosen successor, Condoleeza Rice, is elected president.

2008: Hillary Clinton is chosen as democratic candidate for the presidency. Rice runs for re-election. With two female presidential candidates, physical appearance raises its head. Democratic commentators keep saying how Clinton has a nicer smile than Rice. Rice is falling behind in the polls and her image consultant say to her:

"Mrs President, we cannot allow a gap tooth gap!"
 

Sachyriel

Banned
Seeing that the USSR has started providing state-run porn sites online where if you put in your Worker # (or something) you can have subsidized porn of anything you want, the USA sees its own porn market decline, which drags every other sector of the economy down with it. If the Soviets continue the Great Porn Race, soon Americans won't use American Porn, they'll be watching Soviet Porn for free. To combat this the US Government will be enacting pornography subsidies to major Pornographic Producers in order for them to remain competitive. The measures are narrowly voted for in the Ledges and soon the law comes into force.

Or, to paraphrase:

"MISTER PRESIDENT WE MUST NOT ALLOW A PORNOGRAPHY GAP!"
 
Seeing that the USSR has started providing state-run porn sites online where if you put in your Worker # (or something) you can have subsidized porn of anything you want, the USA sees its own porn market decline, which drags every other sector of the economy down with it. If the Soviets continue the Great Porn Race, soon Americans won't use American Porn, they'll be watching Soviet Porn for free. To combat this the US Government will be enacting pornography subsidies to major Pornographic Producers in order for them to remain competitive. The measures are narrowly voted for in the Ledges and soon the law comes into force.

Or, to paraphrase:

"MISTER PRESIDENT WE MUST NOT ALLOW A PORNOGRAPHY GAP!"

Plenty of "GAP" already in so many places and stuff and things and stuff.. and other things... huhuhu.. hey bevis.. you said .. huhuhu ..huhuh... Gap and stuff.... huhuhu huhuhuh huhuhuh :rolleyes::D;):eek::rolleyes::D
 
I could see a quote like this coming out of the Kitchen Debates in 1959. After Nixon touts the benefits of American industry, Khrushchev is quick to dismiss the exhibit as a frivolity that means nothing for the Soviet Union. In a meeting, a minister stands up and voices his opinion.

"Comrade Chairman, we must not allow a kitchen sink gap between ourselves and the United States!"

Alternatively, Nixon returning to the United States and talking to Eisenhower, because it sounds hilarious in Nixon's voice.

"Mister President, we cannot allow a garbage disposal gap!"
 
1977: President Ford barely had enough time to celebrate his second inaugural when he got the news from the Secretary of Commerce.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked.

"Yes, Mr. President." The Secretary showed him a computer printout of figures. "By our estimate, the Soviets will have twice as many clothing stores as we do in Moscow alone by 1985 if this continues. Mr. President, we cannot allow ourselves to fall into the Gap!":D

God forbid!

And thank you to everyone who has contributed!
 
My own entry:

The CIA has found evidence that the USSR is working on a virus that will specifically target monkeys. The intent is to use this virus to wipe out lab monkeys in the west, thus hindering research. The USSR is carefully setting up isolated breeding populations of monkeys so their own research will not be hindered.

"Mr. President, we cannot allow a monkey gap!"

Oook?
 

Sachyriel

Banned
In order to show how amazingly good Communism is the USSR starts making Crescent-Sickle shaped Doughnuts; they're a big hit all over the world, tasty things. The USA, worried at what might be communist infiltration efforts, has a discussion in the FDA building that sounds like this.

"The soviets new doughnut design lures children into socialist thinking, we'll need to distribute an American doughnut."

"I see what you mean, but what kind of design do you suggest."

"I was thinking an Apple fritter with little red white and blue sprinkles to make a flag and taste like apple pie."

"Brilliant, I will go get the president. We must not allow America to fall into a doughnut hole!"
 
Well, the argument seemed to work well for JFK. Take it up with him. ;)

But I digress, don't want to get off topic with discussions of regular history.

Don't know what to use as an example, though I will say that the Soviets of Stalin's circle really were outdoing us terribly in the field of mustaches. :p

Bah! I already have Stalin outbearded. :)
 
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