AHC: Make the worst movie you ever saw good

Pellegrino

Title says it all. Worst movie you ever saw, or at least saw recently. You don't have to make it an Oscar winner, but somehow make the movie "good" by industry standards (ie, if if is a slapstick comedy, then it doesn't need to get 5 stars and all, but make it a good slapstick comedy).

I'll start:

Jack & Jill. Rather than have Adam Sandler play both Jack and Jill, get will Ferrell and have him play Jack.

Movie won't be an Oscar winner or anything, but I could see that being an entertaining flick that might just be worth $5 and two hours.
 

marcus_aurelius

The worst movie I saw is Twilight, and I believe it is board consensus that it is irredeemable in any way, shape or form. :cool:

In which I should do another one...

Resident Evil-series: it'll serve them better if they follow the video game storyline more. So instead of post-apocalyptic world you have a world largely similar to OTL, only that bioterrorism is the big thing. More wiggle room for plot development, IMHO.

Marc A
 

Lalli

Gigli. Not worst movie which I have seen, but other are just hopeless cases.

Plot could be quiet similar as OTL but dialog much better. Main character not be needful say f**k all time. Movie could be bit more Tarantino style. Maybe Tarantino could write and direct movie. And no Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez.
 
DanMcCollum

DanMcCollum

I'm not sure anything could make The Room good (and anyyhing that did, would make it a helluva lot less entertaining). Maybe make Wiseau see it as a comedy to begin with?
 

strummist

Star Wars: Episode 1. Director Danny Boyle, script by Jack Womack.

Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi, Robert Carlyle as his Jedi partner who turns to the Dark Side. "Did you spill ma blue milk?"

Who can forget the dramatic forty-five minute running battle through the streets of Glasgooine, or the moving performance by Amanda Plummer as Lady Palpatine. I know she was the "bad guy", but be honest, we all wanted her to win.
 

Alternate History

Banned
Eragon. A huge step up would be to erase it altogether. An even better step up would be to make it vaguely resemble the books. Make it 1 hour longer and stuff all the important story details into it, do not deviate from the book if cinema technology can do it, and make the Urgals and elves look like actual Urgals and elves instead of humans dressing up for a cosplay convention.
 

Tocomocho

Meet the Spartans:

1) Bury Seltzer and Friedberg in a concrete tomb in the desert

2) Give the project to Abrahams and Zucker

3) Make it an actual parody of 300, probably the most parodiable film released in recent memory, rather than a collection of pointless, unfunny nods to other films set to be released at the same time as this one

4) Set fire to anyone who suggest a breakdance scene
 

Uff Da the optimist

Donor
Transformers 2

Hmmm, well. I'm not really sure as how to make this good, but this is how a recipe to not make it offensive and horrible:

1. Michael Bay spontaneously combusts.

2. The movie does not depict an "international team of super-soldiers" that only contains americans and ONE other nationality(GB).

3. The movie does not depict destroying several landmarks in the Arab world and make the military in the Arab world seem like sedated kittens while at the same time making a U.S infantryman the equivalent of a nuclear bomb in terms of destructive capability.

4. Remove the over-used cliché inter-bureau rivalries between agencies in the U.S, I mean seriously, I don't even live in the same continent and even I'm sick of it!

5. The two "hillarious" comical elements of the two small transformers are changed into something that does not scream "black people are silly" and stink of 1950's humour.

6. Less patriotism. As a disclaimer I admit we all think USMC and Navy Seal are truly badass, but shoving it down our throat every 5 minutes gets old real fast.

7. Surrender the entire project to J.J Abrams and watch it get entertaining in a matter of seconds, while putting in a "lens-flare" clause that limits him to using it 25 times maximum.

DISCLAIMER:
That scene in the forest with the Transformers fighting, that was entertaining, and I'm embarrassed to say I enjoyed Michael Bay's work there.
 

mattep74

Uff Da the optimist said:
3. The movie does not depict destroying several landmarks in the Arab world and make the military in the Arab world seem like sedated kittens while at the same time making a U.S infantryman the equivalent of a nuclear bomb in terms of destructive capability.

.
Click to expand...

How about Petra and the Pyramids side by side:cool:
 

EAF602Whizz

Pearl harbour; Make it all about Pearl Harbour with a nice big dogfight scene at the end against impossible odds. Forget about the battle of britain (or make a seperate movie about US volunteers in the RAF) and forget about the Doolittle raid (or make a seperate awesome movie about it) and just make it less embarrassingly implausible. Maybe towards the end fast forward to a later stage of the war with our heroes flying P38s or something when it's obvious the axis are getting their just desserts.
 

Henriksson

Having Mario not being the uncle of Luigi in Super Mario Bros: The Movie would be a tremendous boost to the original movie, but not enough to propel it to good. Skip the romantic interest. Have the movie actually resemble the games rather than having it take place in some sort of anthropomorphic dinosaur hell/Brooklyn. Not much is left of the original movie in the end.
 

The B

War of the Worlds (2005): Make it actually stick properly to the storyline (or at least re-do it imaginatively), hire some decent actors, stamp out plot holes, the list goes on...
 
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