Well, to begin with, you're making it extremely difficult for me to respond because you've been sub-quoting your points for some reason, but I'll try to respond to each.
China did make some moves, but they were mostly erratic and negated each other, so they did not result in significant progress in the long run, and its failure in both Opium Wars was what ultimately motivated Korea to turn inward in order to prevent potential disasters as a result of possible devastating contacts with the West. If China had been much more successful in its efforts by consolidating most of its reforms, however, it would have taken at least a few decades to apply the changes to multiple far-flung regions, while if Korea had attempted to carry out similar changes as well, it would have been easier for them to be dispersed and put into effect within a shorter period of time.
In addition, independence is not the only factor that dictates the degree of "suffering." For a hypothetical example, if an independent state is theoretically cut off from most resources due to destruction of large amounts of terrain after extensive wars, and is surrounded by hostile states, it is much worse off than a subjugated state that has access to a large amount of resources, along with extensive trade. After the Mongol invasions, Korea's population was reduced to levels similar to that of the peninsula almost 1000 years ago, around the 3rd-5th centuries, and while China as a whole was devastated as well, it had a much larger population base to recover from over time.
Regarding the borders, I will say that for a rough reference, North Korea is currently slightly bigger than South Korea, and half of North Korea would be around 1/4 of the peninsula. Even after roughly eyeballing it, it becomes clear that the region from the northern Silla border to the Yalu and Tumen Rivers is much bigger than the one between the border and Namgyeong/Seoul. As a result, your first map actually confirms my 1/3 estimate, as 1/3>1/4, not to mention that 1/3 of the entire peninsula
today is significantly bigger than 1/3 of Silla's possessions. The border remained stable near Pyongyang from 668-936, and it was not until
after Goryeo finally reunified the peninsula in 936 that the borders were finally pushed north and temporarily stabilized near the Yalu River in 993, so I'm not sure why you're showing the second map when I specified expansions
after 936. My 1/2 estimate is based on the fact that Goryeo temporarily pushed north of the Tumen River when confronting the Jurchen, and briefly seized fortresses in Liaodong when the Yuan was falling apart, although neither gains lasted for long. In other words, Korea expanded its territory by more than 1/3 regardless of whether we're focused on territory that was permanently retained or temporarily seized and later lost. In addition, expansion from 936-1433 is around 500 years, not 1000.
In terms of the population growth, I'll recap a short list of what occurred IOTL next to the potential figures after a PoD around 900-1000:
668-936: 7-10 million
936-1231: 8-12 million;
10-15 million
1273-1592: 4-7 million;
15-25 million
1598-1637: 5-7 million;
25-30 million
1637-1750: 6 to 18.6 million;
30-40 million
1750-1850: 15-18 million;
40-50 million
1850-1945: 15 to 25 million;
50-70 million
1945-Present: 25 to 75 million;
70 to 150-200 million (?)
These figures take into account Korea gradually modernizing beginning in the mid/late 19th century after China does so as well. IOTL, the most significant changes were from 1231-73, when the population was essentially cut by half, and from 1637 to 1750, when the population essentially tripled within a century. In the alternate scenario, however, there is no relatively significant population increase in terms of the proportion, while the increase after 1945 assumes relatively similar conditions as that of OTL, as both China and Korea would need to significantly improve technology for significant increases in the population in order to retain most of their respective territories efficiently.
In terms of comparing Korea and Japan's demographics, while the former might have been socially more developed for centuries, it was never able to exploit this advantage because outsiders reduced major cities to rubble multiple times when each had the potential of becoming major urban centers. This was why Hanseong (Seoul) continued to be the only major city for the duration of Joseon's existence, not to mention Gaegyeong during Goryeo, and why cities like Pyongyang and Busan failed to follow in their footsteps due to devastating invasions from the north and south, respectively. However, if Korea did not suffer from major invasions while managing to expand further north in response to numerous raids, it would most likely have moved its capital to Pyongyang around the 13th-15th centuries, greatly increasing the urban capacities within multiple regions after migrations, along with internal and external trade. The northeastern regions within the peninsula are dotted with mountains, so the inhospitable terrain would encourage emigrants to move further north into Eastern Manchuria, closer to what is now Vladivostok, Harbin, and possibly Jilin City, for extremely rough examples, while the capital could potentially be moved to a region near Vladivostok around the 17th-19th centuries as well once population levels in northern regions become significant.
I'm also not sure why you're comparing China directly with European colonial powers, as the latter were forced to explore and expand into extremely far-flung regions in order to gain resources for significantly lower core populations, with very gradual expansions. In addition, even the British Empire, which was the largest by far, only managed to reach a peak of around 458 million in 1938, which is nowhere near the 17th-18th century limit that I stated, and only vaguely close to your 600 million (high) estimate, not to mention that all of its possessions were only held together for around a century or so. However, the European colonial powers were significantly different from China, as it would initially need to control an extremely large core population, requiring efficient allocation of resources even
before significant expansion. It would also have consistently raised hundreds of thousands of troops for each major campaign, causing dissent after resources are used up, not to mention natural disasters, and the state would eventually collapse under its own weight after the results of multiple campaign failures, along with revolts, such as the An Lushan or Taiping Rebellions, eventually set in.
I also still have no idea why you're still comparing my current points to the one that I made in that previous thread, as I fully took the nomadic invasions into account in that one, while I'm temporarily handwaving the invasions away in this one in order to somehow understand your scenario, which I would still consider to be very vague.
Let's just make the note that my scenario doesn't actually have a lot of problems. It simply runs on two things happening, and not too unlikely things. One would naturally follow the other. Direct integration would likely result in war, but by then it wouldn't matter and the disparity would be plainly apparent. This expanded discussion that we're having adds in five additional things at least which need to develop independently from one another in order to create the desired outcome. Just one of which, the most important part of it, has already been deemed unlikely by you.
But you're still assuming that China will experience virtually no invasions whatsoever, or at least no significant ones, which I already had stated was highly unlikely. If both of us fully admit that the nomads would have caused significant devastation in any scenario, then we should not be having this discussion at all. In addition, I was making the point that butterflies will affect China and Korea significantly after temporarily conforming to your unlikely scenario, because you seemed to only focus on China.