While, it's not exactly Lutheranism, maybe having Arminianism win out over Calvinism would mean a Dutch Reformed Church closer theologically with Lutheran or Methodist churches.
Erm... No. Though modern-day Lutheranism has a soteriology that is much closer to Arminianism than Calvinism, this is really something that I would say can be attributed to election simply not being focused upon in Lutheranism at all since the days of Luther (indeed, Philip Melanchthon actually was very much against discussing the topic at all, because he felt it might alienate the congregations). Luther (and Melanchton) were both pretty firm believers in predestination. Luther's work
On the Bondage of the Will was a lengthy polemic in which he staunchly argues from the Augustinian position that the will of fallen man is rotten, weak and incapable of even wanting to come to God, and if God does not intervene and make man come to God, then he will turn away. Grace has to be irresistible, because if it can be resisted, then everyone would resist it because that's who rotten fallen man is.
If you go back to the 17th century, you will most likely find Lutheran theologians closer to Calvinists than to Arminians. If you want Lutheran Netherlands, then you need an earlier PoD than the Synod of Dort.
Could Calvinism and Lutheranism co-exist? Were they similar enough to avoid the friction? Or would the religious wars just take a slightly different flavor?
The friction between Calvinism and Lutheranism really had more to do with interpretations of the Communion than anything else. The difference here is pretty difficult to understand really. Luther believed in consubstantiation, which is quite similar to transsubstantiation, but not the same, he believed that the bread and water remained bread and water but at the same time became the body and blood of Christ. Calvin felt that this interpretation rendered the body of Christ too ubiquitous, and insisted instead that Christ's body and blood in substance was in Heaven, but it was present in the wine and bread in spirit.