
Life in the Hermit Kingdom
Time Magazine, 14th October, 1982
“ONE NATION, ONE PARTY, ONE LANGUAGE - UNDER GOD” booms the sizable posters which plaster much of the outside of the Temple of Peace and Health, which has been abandoned for several years. The posters are however much more of a recent addition to the premises. The slogan, which lies beneath the rather stern looking portrait of the eternal High Regent, on the posters; along with ‘Strength Through Unity, Unity Through Language’ are a common sight throughout the capital city of the Hermit kingdom, as is the face that gazes towards the reader.
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Restoring the Welsh language in Wales is nothing less than a revolution. It is only through revolutionary means that we can succeed,” states the eternal High Regent of the Principality, in a constantly rerun propaganda short, which is shown before every film showing at the ‘picture house.’ Today’s film is entitled ‘
Glyndŵr’ which purports to tell the story of the last Prince of Wales who engaged in a fierce, long running but ultimately unsuccessful revolt against English rule of Wales. The film, which to the outside observer is quite obviously a propaganda laden and mostly fictionalised account of how Glyndŵr managed to successfully win and defeat Henry IV of England in battle near Oxfordshire. While this purely fictional battle would have taken place around half a millennia ago, the Anglophobic feeling among many in Wales is still very raw.
The root of all this goes back to the end of the Great War in 1921. Welsh native and the last ever Liberal Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, David Lloyd George, agreed to the German General, Erich Lundendorf’s proposal for a ‘Peace with Honour.’ The terms of the agreement stipulated that Britain would acknowledge German gains from the war, while Germany would respect British Imperial possessions, as well as Portuguese Imperial holdings in Africa and in the Indian subcontinent. While this managed to maintain order in the colonies, back home unrest was beginning to grow.
With Ireland leaving the Union, dragging Ulster along kicking and screaming into a United Irish Kingdom under the Kaiser’s son, Prince Joachim of Prussia, who was installed as the King of the Irish, though most of the power was held by Chief Minister Michael Collins; Britain was in a rather demoralised state. In early 1926, a small dispute by labourers in northern England quickly escalated after the Home Secretary sent troops in to restore order. Inspired by actions in France, which had set up a socialist regime there, a General Strike was was called by the TUC union, which weakened the nation’s economy to breaking point. Once again troops were sent in to quell the unrest which was slowly spreading towards Yorkshire, instead many troops opted to mutiny and desert to the side of the strikes. Soon after a mutiny of other army and navy forces began elsewhere in the country. After a month and a half of looting, violence and rioting, the Royal Family, leading members of the Government, industry owners, and other members of the establishment, all fled westwards to Canada.
Out of the confusion a group of Welsh nationalists managed to band together to form the Free Wales Army, which had the intention of keeping ‘the red menace’ out of Wales. By the time the Union of Britain was declared on May Day 1927, Wales had managed to squirm out of the Union and declared independence as an Independent Welsh state.
Initially the new state (which comprised of most of pre-revolutionary Wales, minus Monmouthsire, Flintshire and Wrexham, which remained part of the Union, and which were soon after merged into England proper,) was led by a provisional Government of Liberals, Unionists, National Democrats and several right-wing Labour members. The former Prime Minister, David Lloyd George, still popular and who had remained in the British Isles when many of his former colleague and allies had fled to North America) was appointed the first Chief Minister of the new state. All was well for the nation as it survived, with backing from the Central Bloc in Europe, and through skillful trading of it’s coal supplies to Europe and elsewhere. That period of tranquility continued until the stock market crash of Black Monday in late Spring of 1936.
Out of the burning embers of the decade old ‘political establishment’ rose the party, led by a man who would soon become the face of the nation, at home and abroad. Saunders Lewis, a poet, dramatists, historian and literary critic was a founding member of the National Party of Wales (or Plaid Genedlaethol Cymru), this would soon become known as Plaid Cymru (or Party of Wales.) It was initially formed to push for Welsh independence, when this was achieved soon after, the party shifted it’s focus to an increasingly extreme form of Welsh Nationalism and Anglophobia, that was growing in many Welshmen and women, especially in the north and west of the country. Lewis, victorious in a 1932 by-election for the University of Wales constituency, rode this wave of public dissatisfaction after Black Monday, leading to Plaid Cymru to an historic landslide victory in the parliamentary elections in 1937.
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Plaid Cymru is opposed to communism, socialism, anarchism, liberalism, atheism and Angloism.” exclaims Lewis’ ‘representative on earth’ and current Chief Minister, Desmond Donnelly as he sits at a large oak table in his office, all of this is naturally in a fluent Welsh tongue. A scratchy recording of Strauss’ ‘
Wein, Weib und Gesang’ plays on a gramophone in the corner of the room, a recording that, if played, would probably get the average Welsh citizen arrested for ‘Subversive activity.’ “
The party has been called conservative, corporatist, nationalistic and authoritarian by some. I say that that is true” he proclaims as he slams his fists down to the table, nearly causing his spectacles to fall off. "
The party's slogan is correct: 'Neither left nor right, nor even centre - Only Welsh', I believe that is right, don't you?" he asks rhetorically as he pushes his glasses back up from the bottom of his nose. “
The party and the dear leader, the High Regent brought this nation back from the brink and restored what it feels to be Welsh, and not a lackey for the English” the last word rolls off his tongue as if it were a curse word.
Indeed it very well may be. The party has effectively administered the ‘Principality of Wales’ (proclaimed on the birthday of Glyndŵr in 1942, with Lewis becoming High Regent of the Principality,) ever since it’s election victory in 1937. Since then elections have more or less become rubber-stamp occasions, indicators of dissent within the nation (those who do not vote usually receive a knock on the door soon after.) At most elections there are a few token opponents of the regime elected, just in a rather feeble attempt to show that the whole election is not a whitewash for the Government. Since 1945 that role has generally been filled by a solitary opposition ‘Coupon’ AS (Welsh for MP), the Hon. Member for Caernarfon, Megan Lloyd-George.
Lady Lloyd-George, described as “
sprite-like” when she was younger, welcomes guests into her rundown constituency office with open arms and a big smile. Sitting down to talk, she lightly passes a note, which states, in English, that the room is probably ‘wired’ and that discussing matters of the state would be unwise. Standing up, she drops a record onto a gramophone, which begins to play a loud rendition of Vivaldi’s ‘
Concerto for Two Trumpets in C Major.’ “
The Parliament is effectively a rubber-stamping body where no real debate or discussions is allowed to occur,” Lloyd George remarks softly in English, below the volume of the music. When asked why she has not been ‘taken to Coventry,’ as it is joked locally, for her vocal and public opposition to the regime, she shrugs and states that “
I am too visible, they know they can’t get rid of me.” This is probably true, as she is probably the most popular AS in the whole of the country, the regime would probably be facing a revolt in Caernarfonshire if their ‘favourite daughter’ was ‘taken to Coventry.’
Beginning in the late 1940’s, there has been a general crackdown on the English language in the nation, a bugbear of Lewis, who is a strong proponent of the Welsh language. Party sponsored book burnings that would (in the words of the High Regent) “
turn the night’s sky a shade of turquoise blue” (due to the inclusion of a copper compound pyrotechnic colorant, which would turn the flame a blue-green shade.) Soon after this English was no longer taught in schools and people were discouraged from speaking it. English businesses and homes were routinely set on fire or ransacked by the government paramilitary group ‘Meibion Glyndŵr’ (or Sons of Glyndŵr.) This forced many back into the Union of Britain, who welcomed them ‘home’ with open arms in a show of propaganda against the ‘Welsh devils.’
It is however the ‘Blackshirts’ (officially ‘Teulu y Celtiaid’ or Family of the Celts) who the remaining English should fear. The paramilitary force is known for it’s extreme violence and disregard for human life, it is rumoured that at their central command headquarters in the Brecon Beacons, they engage in all sorts of violations of international treaties and human rights. With forced work camps and human experimentation alleged, though this depends on who you ask.
In 1957 the firebrand head of the regime’s propaganda arm, R. S. Thomas, announced the complete “
de-Anglicastion” of Wales, with virtually all vestiges of the English language being routed from the country. Along the border with England is a barbed wire fence, which is seen to be ‘no-mans land’ in the ‘bloodless conflict’ between the two nations. The actions of Meibion Glyndŵr and the regime have been condemned in London by Chairman of the Council Eric Heffer, who decried the regime in Cardiff as “
disgusting vermin,” increasing fears of an all out war between the two nations.
That however is unlikely due to support from Berlin and Washington D.C. in their joint efforts against ‘
the red menace.’ This was reinforced last month when President William F. Knowland, along with Secretary of State Richard Nixon and Chancellor Werhner von Braun, at a summit in Berlin, reaffirmed their support for “
[our] Welsh brothers in arms.”
This was condemned as a betrayal of the “
workers and people of Wales” in the view of independent trade unionist and author, L. J. Callaghan. Trade unions are banned by the Plaid Cymru regime, owing to it’s authoritarian nature and distrust of “
socialistic vehicles of oppression” “
Nonsense” replies Callaghan, in English as he stands at his safe house in the north of the country, the location is kept top secret. “
We merely wish to protect the rights of the workers and people of this land, not to topple the regime and replace it with something akin to what there is is London” he laughs, “
though toppling them doesn’t sound half bad, don’t you think?”
This very well could be a sentiment shared by many of his Welsh brothers and sisters, though if that is true, they certainly aren’t willing to show it in public.
Back at the theatre, as the curtains droop over the screen, signaling the end of the film, the audience break into a rendition of ‘Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau’ (or Land of My Fathers), the national anthem of the Hermit kingdom. The only question for many outsiders is, will there be much of a land for the next generation to sing about?
Only time will tell.
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[1]Backstory inspired by the backstory to the
Kaiserreich: Legacy of the Weltkrieg Mod for Darkest Hour: A Hearts of Iron Game.