AH Challenge: War Monkeys

Throughout Human history we've used various animals in our wars, from the War Elephants of the Ancient Greco-Roman Empires and Ancient India
and the Horses used near-universally to the modern plans of equipping Dolphins with long-range mine frequency detonators, animals, as we can
see our hardly strangers to the wars of man, however, one animal, endemic to most of the world in different forms has not been privy
to the machinations of the fighting of man.


So, your challenge, should you choose to accept it is to come-up with a situation where monkeys and/or, ranging from Macaque to Chimps to
Gorillas are used in a military capacity by atleast two major cultures for a long enough time to be remembered.

Extra points if you can get them still in use (albeit in a likely non-combat capacity) in the modern day.


Note:
Gorilla's are'nt technically monkeys, but most people generally call them it.
 
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Good Gravy! <Looks around room for hidden monkeys> I once thought about War Monkeys as monkeys handing from a tree by their tail while firing an AK-47
 
Neither are chimpanzees.

Yes, but it's easier to just say Monkey's overall since most people just lump Monkeys and Apes together in one category.

However, I did change it to Monkeys and Apes in the initial post to be more precise.
 
Technically, of course, every army in history HAS.... (if chimpanzees and gorillas count, then humans do too).


Seriously, I suspect that training monkeys would be a lot more like training cats than dogs. They just don't seem like the 'Jawohl, boss, what you said' types. Dogs are far more obedient, pigeons are conditionable. Monkeys are too smart and too curious...

I could see monkeys being trained to climb on a roof and plant sensors or something, but as a weapon, I don't think so.
 
Baboons were sometimes used as guard animals in Ancient Egypt, right? Have a breed of baboons that's a bit more tractable, make them viable as companion animals and you could get war baboons.

"Furious George! Attack!"
 
apes likely wouldn't work out... they have fragile health when removed from their jungle homes, and would die off in droves before ever getting into combat. Most monkeys wouldn't work either, since they live in vicious social groups of 'might makes right', and become nasty and aggressive when they hit puberty (proof positive of their close relation to humanity). Baboons do seem like the one possible choice, since they are fairly adaptable, big, and well armed. However, like war dogs and war horses, once warfare becomes mechanized, their day would be over...
 
When did gunpowder technology reach India? I could kind of see the Indian kingdoms using monkeys as grenade delivery units in their wars against each other. Like sneaky little suicide bombers, if you can forgive the use of that expression.

If, you know, monkeys could be trusted to actually do the job without wandering off and blowing up friendlies or going into the jungle by themselves and wasting perfectly good ordnance. Non-human primates tend not to be very reliable.

"Le singe est disparu. 'Cause the monkey would f--- off. He'd go and do his own thing. He was a bloody monkey! He was a cheeky monkey."
--Eddie Izzard
 

Sachyriel

Banned
Could we use pheremone-gas artillery shells and let horny monkeys drop from the skies?

It's hard to shoot with a monkey on your back, seriously giving some monkey loving to your butt.
It would be considered a despicable act, akin to other chemical and biological warfare.
 
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