After 1900 Hall of Fame thread

Post any notably incisive, hilarious, or insightful quotes in here. No discussion of the quotes, no filler, no flame wars. Just the quotes, please.

DO NOT POST HERE BITCHING ABOUT HOW THE HALL OF FAME POSTS AREN'T FUNNY. Start a separate thread for that.

Don't just post any old thing here. Only the rare post that actually makes you laugh out loud or completely reconsider your life.

Thank you.
 
I still find this the most out-of-the-blue rolling-on-the-floor-laughing message of possibly the entire board:

"Red Gam" Harding turned to Communism when his father lost his medical licence due to crooked politicians turning against him and defaulted on his debts, driving the family to destitution. Harding rose quickly in the socialist underground of Columbus, Ohio, and was instrumental in the Red Banner revolts of the early 20th Century.

Even in death, he made a show, as he was crucified in the personal presence of God Emperor Coolidge, his body facing the Ohio Wasteland, so he could watch his world die. His skull remains on display in the throne room of the Ivory Palace to this day. It remains to be used annually as a chalice for the Consecration of the Atlantic with the blood of a trade unionist.
 
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