Afghanistan and Switzerland "switch roles"

a thought occurred to me recently: though Afghanistan has been invaded numerous times, it hasn't been (or has only rarely been) properly conquered. the Macedonians couldn't do it, the British couldn't do, the Soviets couldn't, and the Americans couldn't either (saying this as an American). Afghanistan is also very mountainous, much like a particular Germanic state in western Europe. i also learned recently that, for a time, one Afghan leader was working towards westernizing the country (i forget who though)

now here's what i'm getting to: what if Afghanistan was the country which, after a time, was more or less completely neutral but hired out mercenaries to surrounding monarchs as bodyguards (like the Emperor of India or the Shah of Persia, for instance), while Switzerland is the land of strife which is invaded numerous times but never conquered and which comes under the control of an authoritarian, fundamentalist, terrorist-supporting political force (eg, a Christian version of the Taliban) which is eventually ousted and replaced by an arguably not corrupt government by outside forces

alternatively, we can just discuss Afghanistan being the Switzerland of Asia; that's really all that i'm interested in :D:p
 
The problem Afghanistan had, is that its essentially dead smack in the middle of the land routes that nomadic barbarian tribes took to move West. Switzerland is more remote and didn't have to worrry about invaders like Mongols, Timurids etc.

It's also a misnomer to say it's never been conquered. It's just conquerors in old times cared more about tribute than modern state building and social policies. Geography and climate also really favor Switzerland, Afghanistan is very arid and desert-like.
 
Also, Switzerlands right smack dab in the middle of Europe. It's very unlikely that anyone would allow a state as unstable as Afghanistan right on the doorstep.
 
At times, Afghanistan has itself been the center of an empire with expansionist ideas. Ghazni was one example, and an Afghan state conquered the early Moghul empire in the 1500s and held it for 10 years.
 
Simply put, Afghanistan is the size of Texas, whereas Switzerland is smaller than Maine (or Bavaria). The only point of tension that occurs to me would be if most Franco-Swiss somehow became Huguenots, and the staunchly Catholic German and Italo-Swiss persecuted them relentlessly.
 
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At times, Afghanistan has itself been the center of an empire with expansionist ideas. Ghazni was one example, and an Afghan state conquered the early Moghul empire in the 1500s and held it for 10 years.
Being at the centre of an Empire just shows it wasn't being conquered at the time though.
 
Simply put, Afghanistan is the size of Texas, whereas Switzerland is smaller than Maine (or Bavaria). The only point of tension that occurs to me would be if most Franco-Swiss somehow became Huguenots, and the staunchly Catholic German and Italo-Swiss persecuted them relentlessly.

Well, apart from the fact that a lot of Germans also west Protestant, that sort of did happen. Indeed there were some pretty nasty religious conflicts in Switzerland during the 16th Century. Zwingli nearly caused a religious war between the Catholics and Protestants, the Sonderbund War of the 1840s can basically be summed up as 'Protestant feel threatened by Jesuits in Catholic Cantons, Catholics want them' with issues on federalisation thrown in as well, Appenzell split in two due to religious differences and there were fights between Calvinists and Anabaptists.

The thing is that because Switzerland before Napoleon was basically an alliance, and was a very loosly federal state until the Sonderbund War, the more likely situation is not internal division leading to Afghanistan, but division between cantons leading to civil war and then partition and annexation by neighbouring states.
 
To be fair, the Macedonians sort of managed to conquer the place.
Also, the Persians (twice), the Saka, the Kushana, the Hephalites and for quite a while the Mughal themselves, not to mention the Arabs and the Mongols, all had remarkably extensive times of (some sort of) control overf all or most of Afghanistan, though it was usually a challenged thing.
The Ghaznavids, while having their powerbase in Afghanistan, were foreign conquerors of Turkic origin as well, who quckly assimilated to a mostly Persian high culture.
 
Hmmm... Well I like the idea of the Switzerland being where empires go to die in, though I'm not sure how.

Mutant badass Swiss superior race? :D
Also, it would require empires in the general neighborhood that were remarkably absent when compared to Afghanistan, unless you count the HRE Switzerland was basically part of.
 
To be fair, the Macedonians sort of managed to conquer the place.
Also, the Persians (twice), the Saka, the Kushana, the Hephalites and for quite a while the Mughal themselves, not to mention the Arabs and the Mongols, all had remarkably extensive times of (some sort of) control overf all or most of Afghanistan, though it was usually a challenged thing.
The Ghaznavids, while having their powerbase in Afghanistan, were foreign conquerors of Turkic origin as well, who quckly assimilated to a mostly Persian high culture.

Didn't many of those empires live in the Afghan region when they started (apart from the Persians who wandered from Central Asia to Mesopetamia depending on their mood).
 
To be fair, the Macedonians sort of managed to conquer the place.
Also, the Persians (twice), the Saka, the Kushana, the Hephalites and for quite a while the Mughal themselves, not to mention the Arabs and the Mongols, all had remarkably extensive times of (some sort of) control overf all or most of Afghanistan, though it was usually a challenged thing.
The Ghaznavids, while having their powerbase in Afghanistan, were foreign conquerors of Turkic origin as well, who quckly assimilated to a mostly Persian high culture.

It depends on what is meant by conquest. If sacking cities and extracting tribute is meant, then yes its been conquered plenty of times. If it refers to the kind of centralized colonial project of modern European imperial powers, then Afghanistan's been pretty good at avoiding such fate. "Graveyard of Empires" is sensationalist, sounds cool, but like much of pop culture doesn't mesh with historical fine points.
 
Didn't many of those empires live in the Afghan region when they started (apart from the Persians who wandered from Central Asia to Mesopetamia depending on their mood).

Well, both the Kushana and the Hephtalites (not sure the latter qualify as an "Empire") had that general area as their powerbase (IIRC, the Kushana capital of Kapisa was near Kabul), but they both came there as foreign conquerors from Central Asia to begin with.
The area was fairly important to the Mongols, in all their incarnations down to the Mughals, but only rarely their capital was within present Afghan borders. The Greco-Bactrians too were basically based in and around Afghanistan.
So we could say that you can successfully conquer Afghanistan if you make it a significant part of your powerbase. But probably there's more.

I'd add that Afghanistan was indeed a fairly significant exporter of mercenaries, especially towards India.
 
It depends on what is meant by conquest. If sacking cities and extracting tribute is meant, then yes its been conquered plenty of times. If it refers to the kind of centralized colonial project of modern European imperial powers, then Afghanistan's been pretty good at avoiding such fate. "Graveyard of Empires" is sensationalist, sounds cool, but like much of pop culture doesn't mesh with historical fine points.

Most of the groups I named did something more than pillage and extort taxes, but you are right. As far as Western centralized industrial empires are concerned, Afghanistan has proved a tougher customer than they are.
Regarding modern Western states the "graveyard of Empires" thing has actually a point.
 
Mutant badass Swiss superior race? :D
Also, it would require empires in the general neighborhood that were remarkably absent when compared to Afghanistan, unless you count the HRE Switzerland was basically part of.

What, redcoats blood in Switzerland? The harvest was richer that year.
Mountains of Nazi skulls? Yeah it's now a ski resort.
Massive Hind graveyards in the mountains? Well duh! They made motorcycles from the wreckage with their bare hands.

And they did all this with pikes.
 
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