Suburbs are associated with the West in the global conscience. A symbol of prosperity, of the success of the cooperation between workers, capital and government in a capitalist-democratic framework. Or so the builders of those suburbs would like their buyers to believe. In truth, suburbs arise wherever there is the will and the money for them. This is as much the case in the UAR as it is in the USA, except in the case of the former the “middle-class” are almost invariably public servants in one respect or another. And in this country, military personnel are as much public servants as any state lawyer or treasurer.
The neighbourhood and house is an Arabic counterpart to that of Commander Eckhart’s, the same cleanliness, the same air of ordered prosperity. Its inhabitant, for all the houses are owned by the Suburban Collective, is Saddam Hussein, former Chief Air Marshal of the Air Force of the Arab Republic. Unlike the Commander, he is not waiting for me on the front porch. There is no sign of life in the house, so I am surprised when, on knocking the door, it swings open and I am pulled inside by powerful hands.
It is dark, and I feel the cold of a gun pressed against my head. I wonder what I have done to deserve this happening again, and I enquire as to why.
I get a string of angry Arabic in reply, and I am once again forced to resort to French to explain my purpose. The silence in response is deafening. I switch once more, this time to a language not often heard outside its home country.
In the same tongue, the gunman replies
“It has been many years since someone has spoken like that in this country.”
It is at this point that the gun is removed from my head, and the man holding it says, still speaking Russian.
“Many would have pleaded for their life, screamed or begged. But not you. Why?”
I respond that I’ve been in that situation, and worse before, and there is a chuckle.
“You are a rare man that can say that”.
At this point, the room is lit with light, and the gunman is revealed as none other than Saddam himself.
I ask him about the whole elaborate program, and he merely replies.
“A man in my position makes many enemies, even in the classless state. You British are used to peace in all things.”
Again, the reality of British life in particular and League life in general seems to escape those high up in the UAR. I consider mentioning the divisions of the British Army of the Oder, or the missiles in East Prussia, but I decide against it. I decide instead to ask him about his role in the ’74 Crisis, and in doing so, I mention the Assad’s. His reaction is immediate, and loud.
“Don’t mention that rat faced bastard to me! Nor his father! Oh, they are so pious in claiming to represent the workers, to be the voice of the oil people. What nonsense! You should see the salary he draws, or the lifestyle he leads. I still have friends in the Air Force, and they tell me things you wouldn't believe.”
At this point, he stops, and walks out. A short while later he returns with two cups of chai, and offers me one. I graciously accept, and drink as he talks once more.
“Nobody likes to mention it today, but our republic and the Soviet one were very close in the 60s and early 70s. Khrushchev was a breadth of fresh air after Stalin, and the USSR looked like a worth model to follow. Authoritarian, yes, but the fist was gloved and padded. India was not yet the jewel of the global socialist movement it was to become; state directed top down socialism was the way forward, rather than Indian style democratic socialism and all that stuff about cooperatives and syndicalism. On the military front, my squadron at the time operate MIGs. We thought they were the hottest planes in the sky. Of course, we didn’t know that the Soviets had sold us the export version at twice the cost of the normal one. We found out though, sooner rather than later.”
I ask him if he is referring to the Six Day War, and he nods.
“Yes, the Six Day War. We call it the Omani Unification War. What brought down the old Soviet style UAR, and brought in the model you see today. The USSR had cut off its diplomatic and military links with us, bar basic ambassadorial tasks. The Executive Council, as it was back then, thought that a short victorious war would be just what we needed to, and I’m quoting from memory here “to re-spark feelings of socialist solidarity in the people”. They thought that Oman was easy pickings; they ignored all the reforms Sultan Qaboos had made, all the links he had forged with the West. And they ignored the joint Australian-British carrier battle group that was visiting India at the time. Worst of all, they ignored the General Staff who told them that we didn’t have the spare parts or munitions for any sort of war. They though the West busying dealing with the Great Famine, unable to intervene, weak and decadent. And so, in the spirit of desperation and ignorance, we were sent to war. My squadron was one of the first into Omani airspace. And we were one of the first to be destroyed.”
He takes a sip of his chai, and I can see horrors of battle behind the eyes of the old Marshal.
“Of all the people, it was an Australian that shot me down, as I was later to find out. One of those new Sea Harrier they were using, put a heat-seeker up my tail on the 2nd Day. Too make matters worse, turns out your Navy Buccaneers had destroyed the Bases runaway while I was away. And then it turned out that we didn’t have any planes left. Oh, there were some, but they lacked key parts; we’d been forced to cannibalise in order to get as many planes up in the air. I spent the next four days flying an old American Apache dive-bomber, Allah knows where they got it from. And that was shot down from under me on the last day. Got knocked out by an Omani AA battery, got captured by them too. We surrendered while I was a POW. Turns out part of the peace deal was that we were to with draw all aircraft and military personnel from the Arabian Peninsula, and to pay for the damage we had done. Say what you want about Qaboos and his… habits, but he isn’t a land grabber.”
He pauses, and his grim reminiscing disappears when he says, with a grin taking years of his old face.
“Of course, my career benefitted. The war hero with Saladin’s Falcon on my chest and two kills to my name. No one mentioned those were a helicopter and a Strikemaster, but I wasn’t complaing.