A Map Shitpost Thread

Discussion in 'Alternate History Maps and Graphics' started by FancyHat, Mar 27, 2017.

?

Do people want a WIP thread?

Poll closed Jul 13, 2017.
  1. Yes

    62 vote(s)
    75.6%
  2. No

    20 vote(s)
    24.4%
  1. Shaymin0000 Also exists

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2014
    Location:
    Behind the dumpster at CERN
    More of a shitpost proof-of-concept, but:

    [​IMG]
    The Decentralized Empire of Springfields
    Population: idk probably like 1.5 million max
    Head of State: Overmayor Ken McClure
    Official Language: English (recognized minority languages: Afrikaans, Belizean Creole, Gaelic, Irish, Spanish, Welsh)
     
  2. Tsochar Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2010
    Location:
    Eagleland
    Hank Scorpio would like a word with Mr. McClure...
     
  3. PachPachis hates deconstructionists

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2014
    Location:
    Lift City
    British Columbia British columbia.png
     
  4. Killerflood Corporal Cannonfodder

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2015
    Location:
    Saṃsāra
    I think this could have been better by having actual Columbia be the one colored pink.
     
    Simeon likes this.
  5. PachPachis hates deconstructionists

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2014
    Location:
    Lift City
    Technically that'd be British Colombia.
     
  6. CannedTech Antifa Psychonaut

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2013
    Location:
    Hole in the world
    Don't worry fam, I patched it in.

    !shitponst.png
     
  7. Simeon La empresa crecerá más grande

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2015
    Location:
    Somewhere
    And the last Colombia...
     
    ST15RM and LouisTheGreyFox like this.
  8. xmoose Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2016
    "Teaser" for something I am thinking about for some time...
    Napoleon establish Vestphalia which actually contain historical... Vestphalia and Prussia stay dominant power in north(eastern) Germany. And annex Bohemia and most of Saxony.
    Germany_1806_shepherds_atlas.jpg
     
  9. The State of Sealand da best oil platform ever

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2017
    Location:
    51.5°N, 1.5°E
    don't u try to cheat me, no shitpost i can see here
    you're now exiled to WIP Map Thread until every star falls down from the sky
     
    xmoose likes this.
  10. xmoose Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2016
    You know that I just download that great vintage map... than open it in microsoft painting and add few shitty lines for new borders? :D
    If I do another map from this... um, timeline? nope, scenarios is better word... it will be most probably worda, definitely not anything in style of the one above
     
  11. WowJakir New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2018
    Location:
    Orleiv
    [​IMG]

    The young boy played, enjoying his simple life in his village. The Corsican breeze whiffed through his black hair. The boy smiled chasing his friends through the meadow.
    Truly a blissful moment indeed, that is, until the Phoenicians arrived.
    The young boy was 7 years old in 1776, it was 1900 now.
    Young Napoleon was now separated from his family, his brothers, his sisters, his cousins, everyone he knew.
    He was now stuck in a strange world, people dressed differently, and while morality remained the same or similar in some respects, it was different in others.
    His young years were spent in melancholy, truly alone in this new world. During his isolation, young Napoleon became a drifter, often reading history books.
    As he found out, the French Revolution had failed, being crushed by 1800 with a restoration of the Bourbon which continued for three generations, which ended in 1869 and a Commune took over.
    His homeland, Corsica was taken by British-Sardinian forces, and annexed by Sardinia-Piedmont in the Treaty of Rousillion in 1800.
    Mussolini took power in 1924, Hitler in 1926. The young Bonaparte became influenced by their fascist movements, this combined with his earlier interest in anarchist and republican literature lead to him adopting a stance of "Anarcho Fascism". Napoleon was competent, but never rose to a high rank, this was due to his beliefs, which had earned him ridicule from others, even from his closest comrades and Il Duce himself. "Napoleonism" became synonymous with ideological unsoundness.
    Unsatisfied with this unfair treatment as he saw it, he spent his time reading, thinking "How do these fools not know that Anarchy is the only way to lead to a righteous and fair dictatorship?".
    Napoleon was also angered by what he saw as Mussolini's incompetence. "How can we claim to be successors to Rome if we cower to other powers? The French should be kneeling to us, just as the Slovaks should, and just as the Albanians."
    Then one cold November morning in 1927, this is where he discovered his secret abilities.
    He had the ability to manipulate time itself, to go back and forward. To traverse dimensions. He could change the past, present and even the future if he desired to.
    He also found out he could splice people together.
    The young man always had big dreams, to be seen as a true emperor of Europe, akin in greatness to Augustus himself.
    However, the man would need friends.
    So, with his newfound powers, he would make a perilous journey to "make" a new friend. Someone to have his back. So, he traveled to different dimensions.
    He found the perfect specimens for his experiment.
    An old British politician by the name of "Jeremy Corbyn" and a certain Austrian, Adolf Hitler.
    With his ability of splicing, he created a new marvel of the universe. An eighth wonder of the world :"Jeremy Hitler."
    Napoleon with his newfound friend decided to go back to the previous dimension.

    Year 1930.
    Napoleon would finally get his revenge, he would topple Il Duce himself.
    He would crush central authority by installing himself as emperor of Europe.
    He would instill a new order, anarchy, the truest and purest form of it.
    When that time came at last, he could rest.
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2019
  12. Clandango Disestablishmentarianist

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2012
    Location:
    The Back of the Car
    Italo-Roman Empire? I do believe we have a winner.
     
  13. AlternateHistory191 General Secretary of the Proxima Centauri b SSR

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2017
    Location:
    A timeline where Bernie Sanders won
    Not to mention Circassian Circassia.
     
  14. Clandango Disestablishmentarianist

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2012
    Location:
    The Back of the Car
    Maybe, maybe not. Guy in the regular mapthread once made a Circassian map where they were the minority. Unsure if it is bad taste to link maps to this thread, so if anyone just uses the search function for Circassians and use my username they should be able to find it quickly. It was a quite interesting map, it just got a bit of hostility. Might have been my poor wording when giving critiques, or might have been from the leaking drama of a map a day before, with someone saying how to make a 'better' Russia. Ahh, and I just realized the map above has both sides of the river as a part of Transjordan. Fabulous. And Portugal lost its color to Lusitania. Yes, these are the things I come to this thread for. Not scribbles or maps showing all the world colored one color. No, I am here for the subtle insults and jabs to countries. For instance. It looks like the U.K. is a dominion of Ireland.

    EDIT: Ahhh wait, now I rememeber. The Russians basically try to give Kaliningrad back to Germany, while also giving independence to Altai, Tuva, and the Ciscaucasus area, as well as making sure the Tartars have a border with Kazakhstan.
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2019
  15. ArchimedesCircle Radical Groucho-Marxist

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2015
    Location:
    Tecumseh's Confederacy
    But not Scots? Ye just made an enemy fer life!
     
  16. Clandango Disestablishmentarianist

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2012
    Location:
    The Back of the Car
    That gets classified under Irish.
     
  17. xmoose Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2016
    But but... I am pretty sure that Scots and Irish are natural enemies...
     
    ArchimedesCircle likes this.
  18. DrWalpurgis ha ha ha OH WELL

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2018
    Location:
    Sussex by the sea
    I feel like this needs to be discussed.
    What are you on, and can you send some to me?
     
    Izayoi_Alpha likes this.
  19. Shaymin0000 Also exists

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2014
    Location:
    Behind the dumpster at CERN
    Scots would be considered a dialect of English if anything. Irish and Gaelic are Celtic languages, while Scots and English are both closely related Germanic languages.
    I just forgot to put it on there tbh
     
  20. TrucKola Raccoon Emperor of Gaulish Brennusia

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2017
    Location:
    Some shack in the Rocky Mountains
    I'll kick your cock-eyed arse if you say Scottish is some Germanic shite! Those Anglo-Saxons can do nothing to us Pictish Scots!
     
    Shaymin0000 likes this.