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Dis War VIIb: The Resolution
  • Chapter 9: An Alliance of Swine (Cont'd)
    Excerpt from Kingdom Under Siege: The Wall Street War over Disney, by Taylor Johnson


    The days until Boesky’s Friday call ticked by, each minute feeling like an hour, each hour like a day, each day like a week. The leaders did their best to keep morale up, but the tension was palpable.

    Finally, July 13th arrived, a Friday. The board and the Round Table were there. So was Frank Oz. The speaker phone rang. Ivan Boesky’s voice came out loud, clear, and menacing. Once again, he’d recorded the call.

    “This is Boesky. I won’t be long. Is the pig there?”

    “Ah, oui oui, ha-ha,” said Frank Oz in Piggy’s voice, nervously[1].

    “Good, but first, tell me what happens if Holmes à Court gains 49.9 [percent of the shares].”

    Ray Watson took over. He described that they had a poison pill planned. He described the massive debt they would take on. He described how those who’d invested in Holmes à Court’s Kingdom Acquisitions would be bankrupted. On the advice of legal counsel, he did not tell Boesky about the consideration of a self-tender, fearing that this would cause Boesky to wait until that moment and sell his stocks very, very high, still dooming Disney.

    There was silence on the line. Then, Boesky said, “You’re serious. You’ll kill Disney rather than see it broken up.”

    “I’d rather follow the lead of the Roman generals,” Gold interjected, quoting Walker and dutifully playing his part. “Better to die by my own hand than be torn apart by barbarians.”

    “Uh-huh,” said Boesky. “Hey, pig.”

    “That’s Miss Piggy to you, pal,” said Frank, defiantly.

    “Yes, the lover of ‘payr-eee’. I looked at the “Save Disney” advert. As an eight-point-four percent shareholder I’m entitled to, among other things, a free visit from Disney characters of my choice, even if I’ve since sold my stock. That includes you, right?”

    “Ah, oui, that is true.”

    “Does that apply even if I sell to Kingdom [Acquisitions]?”

    There was a silent moment. Henson nodded. Watson nodded. Oz nodded. “Ah, oui, of course, mon amour, ha-ha!” said Oz/Piggy. “Just name the time and place, and I’m all yours!” Then he added, conspiratorially, “The Frog doesn’t need to know.”

    Laughter broke out over the speaker phone. The tension broke. Everyone in the boardroom started to laugh now. Finally, Jim Henson interjected, “Mr. Boesky, if Walt Disney still exists in the coming months, you can have as many pigs as you want.”

    “Great,” said Boesky, “My son Jon’s bar mitzvah is coming up. I’ll have my assistant send you the details.”

    There was agreement in principle to this. Then, Bass broke in. “What did Holmes à Court offer you?”

    “Ninety-five-four a share.” He’d actually offered Boesky $94.3 per share, the highest KA could logically go and still allow its investors to turn a reasonable profit on the takeover with interest and fees factored in. Disney stock was currently trading at $92.7

    “We’ll give you ninety-seven,” said Bass.

    “Deal,” said Boesky. A huge sigh of relief passed through the room[2].

    In the following days, Ivan Boesky made his sale to The Round Table Group, giving them a commanding 51.1% of shares. Robert Holmes à Court and his backers and the various remaining arbs, most of them burdened under heavy short-term debt to fund their buys, scrambled to sell their stock. The price of Disney shares dropped precipitously in the sell-off, naturally, and would ultimately bottom out at $79.3 per share. The Round Table group would scoop up what shares they could during the fall.

    Of particular note, Marriott, with the sale of the Great America park to the City of Santa Clara under threat due to a lawsuit by the Caz Development Company, made a direct deal with Kingdom Acquisitions partner Bally/Six Flags. Marriott traded the Great America park in Santa Clara in exchange for Bally’s Disney shares and an undisclosed exchange of cash and debt. The Santa Clara park would become a second Six Flags Great America[3] along with the park of the same name near Chicago previously acquired by Six Flags. Six Flags would, in turn, make a side deal with Caz for development contracts elsewhere, thereby eluding further legal actions.

    The Round Table Group ultimately claimed a solid combined 63.5%. The Bass Brothers and Marriott were the largest external shareholders with 9.6% and 6.3%, respectively. Amblin claimed 1.3%, Apple Corp 0.7%, and Lucasfilm, LTD, 0.42%. Meanwhile, the Henson family remained the largest shareholder with 19.2%, Roy E. Disney was second with 13.4%, and the Disney-Miller-Lund family just behind Roy at 12.2%. Meanwhile, 4.4% was in the hands of suspected “Knights Errant” who would presumably hold on to their shares for a long period of time.

    For the time being, Walt Disney Productions was safe.





    [1] Since you asked @GrahamB and @Daibhid C, no, he did not bring the Piggy Muppet with him. I’ve noticed in all the behind-the-scenes features that in rehearsals, Frank just does the voice, though Jim always had the Muppet. I recall a table reading for The Muppet Show where Jim had Kermit on his hand talking along, while Frank just sat and stared at the paper, face blank, reading the text, Piggy nowhere in sight. What was uncanny was how much he brought the character to life just through the voice. You could see her expressions and movements even as his hand was bare and still! It’s no wonder the other Muppet Performers cited Frank as the “best”.

    [2] @El Pip called it: it’s all about the Benjamins, or in Boesky’s case, the Woodrow Wilsons. The deal with Piggy is a power play. Showing his dominance.

    [3] In our timeline the city ultimately bought the park in 1985 for $93.5 million and leased operations to Kings Entertainment Company. It ultimately got bought up by Paramount. In this timeline both Great America parks are owned and operated by Bally/Six Flags.
     
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    Dis War VIIc: The Immediate Aftermath
  • Chapter 9: An Alliance of Swine
    Excerpt from Kingdom Under Siege: The Wall Street War over Disney, by Taylor Johnson


    Ultimately, Jon Boesky would get his bar mitzvah[1]. In addition to an appearance by Miss Piggy, who famously posed with Ivan Boesky in an image that made the cover of Vanity Fair and became iconic of the mid-eighties[2], the Henson team brought several of the Muppets, in particular their many Muppet pigs, to the event. Jim Henson reprised his role as the dim-witted Link Hogthrob, Jerry Nelson played the bizarre Dr. Strangepork, and Louise Gold returned from London, and the set of Spitting Image, to play the ingénue Annie Sue. They performed several custom sketches, with Link bringing down the house with the line “Being mostly pork myself I didn’t expect to be this welcome at a bar mitzvah.”

    In addition to the appearance, the Muppets team made custom Muppets of the entire Boesky family and gave Ivan one of the Miss Piggy Muppets they’d used in the event. Boesky displayed both the Piggy Muppet and the him-Muppet at his corporate headquarters. Both would be lost, along with a considerable portion of his fortune, to the Federal Government when he was arrested and imprisoned on insider trading charges two years later[3]. The two Muppets are now displayed in the lobby of the Securities and Exchange Commission headquarters in Washington, DC, and make occasional appearances in temporary exhibits at the Smithsonian.

    Needless to say, the story of Frank Oz and Ivan Boesky made its way into the media. The “Piggy & Piggy” story spread like wildfire through the press. For the next two years a humorous false-rumor began circling the Hollywood gossip columns that Ivan Boesky and Miss Piggy were having an affair, something that made both Boesky and Oz laugh. Disney “officially” denied the rumors, though Stanley Gold “broke ranks” and told a reporter how “ashamed” he was of Boesky for the “affair”, crudely stating, “as a practicing Jew [Boesky] should know better than to eat pork.” This was typically changed to “be seen with pork” when printed. The rumored affair was a running gag that Henson and Oz had a lot of fun playing with, with Piggy coyly, and unconvincingly, denying everything while a flustered Kermit pretended not to care. Ultimately, they dropped the schtick when young fans started to write worried letters, afraid that Kermit and Piggy were going to break up. Kermit and Piggy even held an ersatz press conference to “dispel the many rumors” surrounding their relationship, said relationship being portrayed in the bizarre, dysfunctional, and ambiguous way it always had been.

    And the world moved on. Disney would continue on under a new hybrid management arrangement, the old guard now forced to come to terms with the new reality of outside corporate interests on the board. Holmes à Court would cut his losses and move on, the whole affair being more opportunistic in the end than personal. ACC would even go on to negotiate production and distribution deals with Disney as if nothing had happened.

    In the end, the story of Boesky’s “change of heart” has been interpreted as more of a calculated business move on his part than a sign of any real love for the company or an “alliance of swine,” as Tom Brokaw would put it. Simply put, he sold his shares for a substantial profit. Some have called it “greenmail”, though the offer at the time, $97-per-share against a going rate of $92.7-per-share, was not too excessive or even unusual under the circumstances. Disney and the Round Table simply outbid Holmes à Court.

    For Boesky, of course, the celebrations would be short lived. Within 2 years he’d be arrested, turn state’s evidence, and serve prison time for his role in a complex insider trading scheme.

    As a strange epilogue, while imprisoned in Lompoc Federal Prison Camp, Ivan Boesky got a visit from Frank Oz, with Miss Piggy in tow. The two shared what both would later describe as a funny, heartfelt discussion. Alas, no accounts or recording of this conversation have been released.

    For years afterwards Boesky and Oz remained on friendly terms, occasionally meeting for meals or drinks or raising funds together for charitable causes such as the National Holocaust Museum.

    An alliance of swine indeed.

    - - -​

    Robert Holmes à Court, meanwhile, licked his wounds and began rethinking his long-term strategy. He was interrupted by his receptionist. There was an important call for him.

    Holmes à Court picked up the receiver. An American voice, tinted with a Southern drawl, spoke to him. “Hello, Mr. Holmes à Court, my name is Ted Turner, and I have a proposition for you.”




    [1] I honestly have no idea if Jon Boesky had a bar mitzvah in our timeline, but I assume he did. He would have been turning 13 in late ’84 to early ’85 (I don’t know his birthday, just his rough age), so presumably he would have had one. Ivan Boesky became more devout and observant in his later years, but I have no idea of his faith before 1986’s imprisonment and reckoning. Still, traditions are important even to the secular.

    [2] In this timeline 1987’s Wall Street references and satirizes this famous moment when Gordon Gekko is shown being photographed with a puppet gecko.

    [3] As happened in our timeline.
     
    Animator's Perspective VI: The Cauldron
  • Chapter 8: The Cauldron Starts Boiling
    Post from the Riding with the Mouse Net-log by animator Terrell Little.


    Remember how I said that some projects tended to live on like zombies, not quite living, but not yet truly dead? Well, it’s fitting that one of the most famous of these zombie projects at Disney was the one with the dead coming back to life.

    The Black Cauldron was a zombie when I got to Disney and had been so for close to a decade at that point. It would continue to shuffle along in the background until we finished The Fox and the Hound when Ron Miller gave it a new jolt of life. Based on The Chronicles of Prydain books by Lloyd Alexander, it was all Welsh mythology: psychic pigs, witches, fairies, and undead warriors. And those fairies weren’t Tinkerbell neither, but old school “fair folk” type, third cousins of the Voodoo Loas. Creepy stuff.

    Ron saw this as the film that was going to reinvigorate Disney animation, a “Snow White” for our generation, but with skeletons, not dwarves. It would be filmed in 70 mm. He had big hopes for it, and new Creative Director Jim Henson was going to be his man to make it happen. John Musker had been handling the early production, but when Richard Rich, Ted Berman, and Art Stevens moved in once Fox was done…well, they weren’t pleased with his work. They complained to Jim, but Jim wanted nothing to do with personnel squabbles back then[1] and deferred to Ron, who ultimately handed the project to Joe Hale.

    I worked as an inbetweener on this one just as I had on Fox. I could have been more. When Joe ramped up production, he went looking for fresh artists, hoping to create the “fresh new look” Ron wanted. I presented Joe and Jim some of my best sketches. I really worked hard to present the most detailed, three-dimensional, professional-looking drawings I could deliver while still maintaining a conspicuously “Disney” look.

    By contrast, Tim Burton gave them stick figures. Tim was selected, along with Mike Peraza, another temporary Muppeteer on The Muppet Movie like Tim[2]. I was not. I smelled a rat.

    burton-kahl-580x329.jpg

    Tim Burton’s images vs. Milt Kahl’s (Image source “Mouse in Transition” blog by Steve Hulett, cartoonbrew.com)

    For years it bugged me. Why stick figures? Sure, they were pretty unique stick figures – anyone who knows his later work will know the “Burton look” – but they were stick figures. Jim loved them. I was heartbroken and more than a little peeved for a long time afterwards, certain he and Mike were chosen just because they used to work for Jim, however temporarily. It was only a few years later, when Disney Archivist Dave Smith and Cheryl Henson were adding some of Jim’s old drawings and notes into the Disney Archives after Henson’s company merged into Disney, that I finally understood. I got the chance to peek at some of them. Henson’s notes were chock-full of little doodles, most hardly more than stick figures themselves. Some looked like monsters, some looked like Kermit. Some were even less complex than Tim’s stick figures from Cauldron. All had personality.

    One in particular stood out to me. It was little more than two circle-dot eyes, a wide scribble-slash of a mouth, and a bunch of little lines radiating like an oblong circle under the eyes, framing out a wide face. I looked at it and immediately saw Cookie Monster. There must’ve been fewer than 20 lines in it. The two circles were the most complex shapes. But there he was: Cookie Monster, distilled right down to his Platonic ideal, staring right back at me.

    Cookie.png

    Random ‘60s doodle by Jim Henson (Image copied from back cover of Imagination Illustrated)

    In that instant I got it. I got what Jim saw in Tim’s stick figures. I should have listened to Don Griffith when he said “Less is more.”

    So, Jim, Joe, Tim, and Mike went to work, sketching out the ideas. Jim brought his old Dark Crystal collaborator Brian Froud into the team, which made Tim giddy, seeing as how Tim had become an instant fan[3] after working with Brian on Crystal. Brian, being a conspicuously Celtic artist, had a very distinct look for his fairies and spirits and even people, all long and thin and otherworldly and covered in knotted woad tattoos. He and Tim had much creepier ideas for what the characters would look like than Vance Gerry’s old ‘70s stuff. For example, rather than looking like a puppy as Vance had imagined him, Gurgi the beast man was…wow. Possessed spider monkey gremlin?
    Again, Jim loved it and encouraged the unique take, even as some of the older artists tried to push back. They wanted the job to go to someone “more experienced” (i.e. old fashioned and traditional) like Woolie or Milt Kahl. The Cauldron bubbled on. When a civil war threatened to break out between the storyboard artists and the directors, Jim stood up…and deflected to Ron. But Ron, rumor has it acting on Jim’s advice, stuck with the newer, more radical ideas, even in the face of opposition from Card and Donn. Ron, in one of his first big pushbacks against his mentors, stuck with Jim and Joe. The Cauldron bubbled on, and it would look unlike any Disney animated feature that came before[4].

    And it would read and sound unlike anything before as well. They had Rosemary Anne Sisson writing, making things as Welsh as possible, and had Elmer Bernstein doing the score. And for the first time there were no musical numbers, no “I want” song or villain song. Old timers pushed back. The Rat’s Nest counterattacked. The cauldron bubbled on. Homes à Court made his run on the company and we all wondered if we were a dead company walking, adding a dark metatext to the whole production. Still, the cauldron bubbled on.

    Now, once things ramp up in animation on a feature [length animation], this is where things get crazy and can spin out of control fast. Different groups working in isolation from different storyboards can produce totally different products with totally different looks. Cauldron got even crazier because all kinds of ideas for new technology were bubbling up. Stan Kinsey’s DATA[5] folks added in some early computer graphics, mostly “floating ball of light” stuff and a CG boat. The team experimented with 3D filming and model backgrounds, but abandoned it. They filmed actual dry ice fog for the mist effects. There was even a pitch for actual holographic projectors to be used for the big Cauldron Born scene[6], but the extreme cost of the cameras limited this to only appearing in special showings at the Disney parks. All one big, bubbling cauldron with a thousand ingredients being selectively tossed in.

    But that’s the thing about a bubbling cauldron that anyone from the creole south can tell you: you can throw just about anything in, but it’s when you throw it in that will make all the difference. Toss it all in at random, and you get a mushy sort of gruel. But spice it right, time it right, heat it right, and give it a good foundation, and you make gumbo.

    And Jim Henson can make one hell of a gumbo, it seems. Some application of heat is important for gumbo, but finding the right heat level is critical. By completely ignoring all the petty squabbles between the factions and instead just focusing on the project, he refused to fan the fires more than he had to. Once again, the right ingredients at the right time make or break the gumbo. Folks flooded him with a thousand suggestions, recommendations, ideas, and complaints, coming in from all sectors of the company, but Jim was picky about what ingredients he chose to put in or leave out. Finally, Joe and the team tried to add in some pretty gruesome stuff, like flesh rotting and boiling off of the bodies, but Jim pushed back. He wanted it scary, but not traumatizing[7].

    Spicy is good, but too much spice ruins the gumbo.

    Cauldron all came together in the end[8]. It was dark and creepy, but not complete nightmare juice. I thought it was a magnificent, spicy gumbo and I was glad to play my small part in it.

    Not everyone likes a good, spicy gumbo, though.



    [1] Henson tended to duck out of personnel disputes as part of his larger conflict-adverse nature. In this timeline he’s getting better about this by 1984 (because he’s had no choice, getting pulled between Ron and Roy), but in 1980 this is still the standard reaction for him.

    [2] This is a coincidence! Joe Hale selected Burton and Peraza as his animators in our timeline too. Burton’s brief role in The Muppet Movie is well known, but I only found out about Peraza's from his blog.

    [3] I have no idea if Tim Burton likes Brian Froud or The Dark Crystal (I can’t find any evidence either way), but I assume that he’d like Froud’s work.

    [4] In our timeline the conservatives won out. Burton and Musker’s ideas were out and Milt Kahl was brought back from retirement, with the animation remaining much more traditional Disney in form. Ironically, the story got darker and more violent and gruesome while the character designs became more old-fashioned and traditional.

    [5] Disney Advanced Technology Animation, equivalent to this timeline’s Computer Animation Production System (CAPS). More on this and related fun in a future post.

    [6] This was actually experimented with in our timeline and totally abandoned. Here, Jim likes it enough that they set up screenings at Disneyland and EPCOT as a special attraction.

    [7] The infamous lost “cut scenes” from The Black Cauldron in our timeline, which literally traumatized the little kids who came to the first rough cut screening, were awkwardly cut out by Jeff Katzenberg, who hadn’t yet learned the limitations on editing animation, leading to some notable skips and gaps in the film. See what got cut here (warning: surprisingly graphic!). Jim Henson made some pretty macabre shit back in the day, but he stopped short of blood and pus and melting flesh. Paradoxically, this timeline’s version of The Black Cauldron will be both creepier and more macabre than our timeline’s, but also less gruesome and gory.

    [8] So, how does Jim Henson manage to avoid the disorganized mess that happened with Cauldron in our timeline? Is there something special about him? Not exactly. Mostly, he just offered a unified vision. He was a single head chef, compared to the “too many cooks” situation of our timeline. Seriously, our timeline’s production was such a disorganized mess that Disney writer Steve Hulett dubbed his blog post on it “Cauldron of Confusion” and Disney animator Mike Peraza called his blog posts “Cauldron of Chaos”. Honestly, any unified vision would probably have delivered a better movie, regardless of the visuals or story. Jeff Katzenberg could have made a better movie had he been on hand from the beginning. Walt Disney’s greatest ability according to Woolie Reitherman was simply being able to juggle all of the egos and competing visions in a project and present a unified vision, something that Jim Henson and Jeff Katzenberg both excelled at, despite their radically different personalities and leadership styles.
     
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    Round Table Celebration
  • A Round Table Celebration!
    Cover article from Disney Magazine, August 1984


    We did it! Or, we should say, you did it!

    00_HedFireworks.jpg

    (Image source “theactivetimes.com”)

    Cinderella can sleep safe in her castle, knowing that the dragons are banished. Donald Duck can celebrate his 50th birthday in peace. Even Kermit can relax in his swank Florida (lily) pad, because, thanks in a large part to the efforts of Disney fans like you, Walt Disney Productions has survived a hostile takeover bid by outside corporations and remains safely in the hands of Walt’s family and friends! When the trumpet was sounded, many brave knights came to the rescue, from Sid Bass to Bill Marriott to Steve Jobs to Steven Spielberg to George Lucas to Lord Lew Grade. But many more of those gallant knights were people like Shirley McClain from Albuquerque, or Leonard Stein from Queens, or Mitsuko Takayama from Shizuoka Prefecture in Japan!

    In short, they were Knights Errant like you, who answered the call to arms from across the world, so that Disney may forever wave our banner high!

    IMG_20190623_0008-324x470.jpg

    (Image from “collectorsedgecomics.com.au”)

    So, to celebrate, we’re hosting all of you, gate admission free, for one day of your choice during the month of September at any one of our fabulous Walt Disney Resorts! It’s Round Table Month[1], and you are the hero of the story!

    So, we invite each and every one of you to come celebrate with us! You’ve earned it! It’s a great opportunity to take advantage of those extra perks you’ve earned by being Disney owners as well!

    After all, our heroes deserve only the best!



    * * *
    White Knights Save Disney, but Its Future is Far from Clear
    Article from Wall Street Journal, July 14th, 1984

    Burbank, CA – Walt Disney Productions has successfully fought off a hostile takeover bid by the ACC-led Kingdom Acquisitions group thanks in large part to a White Knight campaign primarily spearheaded by Sid Bass and Bill Marriott, Jr., along with a few big names in the tech and entertainment sector. This was aided in part by a public campaign and a wave of public support as well. But the bigger question becomes “what comes next?”

    Disney before the raid, despite being a publicly traded company, was still very much a family run affair, with patriarch Walt Disney’s son in law Ron Miller as CEO and President and nephew Roy E. Disney as a major shareholder and board member. The addition of Jim Henson to the board shook things up a bit, but even with Henson’s changes, the company management style remained more along the lines of a family business than a $3 billion corporation. But Disney did not survive the hostile takeover bid totally unscathed. Now over 15% of the company is owned by outside corporations, including Bass Brothers Enterprises (primarily a Texas petroleum company), Marriott Hotels, Apple Computers, Amblin Entertainment, and Lucasfilm, LTD.

    With this much of the company now in the hands of non-Disneys (and non-Hensons!) the speculations have already begun about the inevitable changes that the new management will require in return for their continued support. Inside sources at the company told the WSJ that CEO Ron Miller’s indecision and fretful leadership complicated the actions of the board. Some on Wall Street have compared Disney under Miller to “a rudderless boat in a raging storm”, violently adrift, and there is intense speculation that Walt’s son in law and heir apparent may well lose his vaunted position.

    Much will depend on the thoughts and feelings of the new part-owners, in particular Bass and Marriott. While the shape of the new Board of Directors has yet to be fully determined, the WSJ is certain that Bass and Marriott will each claim a seat at the table, possibly two. But how will these two men determine what Disney’s future holds? To provide some context, the WSJ has provided the following analysis:

    We’ll start with Sid Bass. Bass, as stated, came from the Texas petroleum industry where he… cont’d on pg. A12.



    * * *​

    “Well, Mickey survived Holmes à Court. We’ll see how well he can survive a shotgun wedding.” – Lou Dobbs, July 19th, 1984



    “A hippie, a Reganite, a director, a hotelier, and a Texas oilman walk into a room. That’s not a joke, that’s Disney’s next board meeting.” – David Letterman, July 20th, 1984



    [1] Shining Helm tip to @Ogrebear for this idea.
     
    Meta-Discussion: Aftermath
  • Meta-Commentary: Why did Disney “Survive”

    As stated in an earlier post, some sort of company stock dip and vulnerability in the early ‘80s was highly likely barring a major management shakeup in the mid ‘70s. And yet, better results may have limited the damage. For example, had the starting stock price in 1983 been higher than $65 per share, which was only about 60% the actual value of the company in terms of assets (~$110/share break-even point), it could have had more room to absorb shocks.

    Yet the outcome from our timeline (greenmail, regime change) was not inevitable once the raid began. Watson and Miller made several errors in judgement in my opinion[1]. First off, the Arvida buy was a mistake. Not only did they probably pay too much, but it was not a clear “fit” for Disney and was performed in obvious haste, making it clearly a defensive maneuver rather than a legitimate acquisition. It enraged and alienated shareholders, in particular Roy E. Disney, who might still have been valuable allies against Steinberg. The Arvida buy also reflected the “parks fixation” that ruled Disney’s executives’ decision-making following Walt’s death. Watson, a real estate developer by trade, immediately looked for a real estate solution rather than a more befitting purchase, and he allowed the Bass Brothers to take advantage of his desperation. Gibson was a better fit since licensing known characters was a staple of the greeting card industry (why buy your daughter a generic princess card when you can buy her a Disney Princess card?) and thus had a synergistic effect (the cards became advertisements in miniature). Yet it was too late by that point.

    Second, they paid the greenmail. Maybe they didn’t have much a choice by that point, but decisions – and indecision – along the way left them with few other viable options. With the benefit of hindsight, the White Knight approach may have been the best option, enlisting other companies like the Bass Brothers not simply as places to dump stock but as partners. Certainly, they should have buried the hatchet with Roy and Shamrock much earlier, though Roy and Gold bear a large share of the blame there as well.

    In all, the whole issue reflects an executive team that had long since lost touch with the general population. They were risk-adverse, insular, myopic, fixated on a single product line (the parks), blind to opportunities for easy returns (e.g. hotels & ticket prices), and failed to diversify their portfolio until it was too late, when the diversification effort itself became an obvious defensive maneuver rather than a logical business venture. And even then, the first acquisition selected reflected the limitations of the management (i.e. Arvida).

    In our case, Jim Henson joining the company has breathed some new life into the company not only by bringing in valuable IP (The Muppets) but by bringing in new ideas, new ways of thinking, and most importantly new perspectives. He’s also brought in new people like Bernie Brillstein and Al Gottesman who had entirely different viewpoints. Additionally, Henson served as a conduit for reconciliation between the Disneys, preventing that particular moment of division at exactly the wrong time. It wasn’t “Henson magic” per se, but simply bringing in other points of view capable of seeing the opportunities and risks that the others couldn’t. A hypothetical case where Eisner joined as President and COO in 1983 the way Miller wanted in our timeline could have netted similar new perspectives. And it’s worth remembering that Eisner was a friendly associate to both Miller and Roy at that point, and perhaps could also have bridged the divide, or at least compelled cooperation through threats.

    So, in short, stronger opening position + higher initial stock prices + united Disney family + new perceptions and ideas + earlier engagement of the White Knight strategy + dumb luck = success.

    I will go into this all with more detail in a future post.

    For what it’s worth I certainly could have butterflied away the whole takeover attempt. Disney was certainly in a strong enough position in this timeline that the Usual Suspects might have given it a pass as not worth the effort. The main reason that I didn’t was, simply, for the drama of it all. I’m hoping to provide you, my readers, not just with interesting “what ifs” but an entertaining and engaging story. As such, having Jim Henson caught in the middle of the buyout drama, and honestly partly responsible for it in this timeline, seemed like a good addition to the narrative.

    Of course, all this begs the question “What if the takeover attempt succeeded?” So…

    What If (ahem) the Takeover Attempt Succeeded?

    So, let’s imagine what would happen if Holmes à Court, or indeed Saul Steinberg, managed to successfully pull off a hostile takeover of Disney in 1984. It was a very plausible scenario either way and Disney got very lucky by avoiding it in both timelines. First off, Disney doesn’t “die”. No one is going to bulldoze Cinderella’s Castle or burn the film library. Nobody is going to retire the Walt Disney name. These are all valuable assets that will be used and marketed for the foreseeable future. Disney, or more specifically its name and component parts, will live on in one form or another.

    The Disney Corporation would be broken up, though. That is unavoidable. In order to fund the hostile takeover of a 3+ billion-dollar corporation you need lots of liquid funds, and in 1984 with sky-high interest rates, the typical way that you did that was through trading in high-interest, high-risk “junk bonds”. This meant the assumption of lots of short-term debt that needed to be paid off quickly before it ballooned. And that meant that your first action as a victorious acquirer was to sell off some or all of the acquired company’s assets.

    In the case of Walt Disney Productions in 1984, the very first casualty is certain to be the land in Florida. Only Walt’s disgust at the urban sprawl that sprouted up just outside the gates of Disneyland and his utopian vision for his “experimental prototype city of tomorrow” drove the acquisition of tens of thousands of acres of land in central Florida and the establishment of the “Reedy Creek Improvement District” extra-governmental enclave that was and is Walt Disney World. The roughly 17,000 acres of undeveloped land in WDW in 1984, and potentially the 20,000 acres of Florida real estate that came with Arvida if the courts don’t kill the deal, are getting sold. Period. All of the hideous sprawl of cheap motels, gas stations, fast food, strip malls, housing developments, and other commercial and residential development that Walt so despised when they took over Anaheim will be coming to Kissimmee.

    Whoever keeps the parks (more on that later) will likely keep a small strip around the “monorail track” plus a certain amount of land for expansion. The rest will be developed by someone else, likely by many “someones”. The areas now occupied by the Dolphin, Swan, and Grand Floridian resorts and all of the hotels and new parks since will be sold and be developed by third parties. The communities of Lake Buena Vista and the like will be sold to third parties. The Polynesian and Contemporary are possibly retained, but licensed, and the Golf Resort and course are probably sold. Meanwhile, the hotels that aren’t sold will likely be licensed to someone like Hilton, Holiday Inn, or Marriott. The rump WDW (and rump RCID) will be all that is left of Walt’s vision for “the Florida project”.

    The parks will be sold, either all together or apart. Bally/Six Flags would take ownership in the ACC-led buy of this timeline and may be the ones to buy them in the Steinberg timeline. Whoever buys/owns the Disney name probably licenses the name to the parks’ new owner(s), or maybe the parks are rebranded (unlikely), but they are certainly owned by someone other than whoever owns the Disney name and/or studios. Whether the new owners keep things up to the expected Disney level of quality would remain to be seen. The exception here is Tokyo Disneyland, which was already owned by the Oriental Land Company and licensing the Disney name and characters. They likely just keep licensing from whomever owns it now, and it arguably becomes the last “true” Disneyland. Imagineering is sold, possibly disbanded and the departments and assets sold off. The Imagineers themselves join the new owner’s team(s) or scramble to find new jobs.

    The studios will probably be broken up too, with the “fault lines” forming according to the whims and deals made in the post-buyout horse trading between the victorious partners and any outside interested parties. The Disney Channel and any other TV assets will probably be sold. The Disney Studios and buildings in Burbank and film library may be sold individually or may be kept together with the Disney name. Touchstone/Hyperion is likely sold or possibly just dropped since it has yet to prove it has legs in 1984. Buena Vista Entertainment will likely be sold/claimed as a valuable distribution infrastructure. Smaller assets like music, books, and the like will be sold off in a series of small deals.

    Animation will be the most likely casualty of it all, as in 1984 feature animation is seen by Hollywood insiders as a dying industry. Almost nobody is making animation in the US at this point and “runaway production” is the norm with only a small US management team working contracts with Japanese, Mexican, or Irish studios. In our timeline, both Eisner and Wells planned to disband the animation department and only the actions of Roy Disney saved it. The Black Cauldron may be released on time or just get sent straight to video. Maybe someone like Nelvana wants to buy Disney Animation to claim the artists, equipment, and possibly the hallowed name, but most likely Roy Disney grabs it, hoping to keep some small fragmentary piece of his uncle’s dream alive. He will be hard pressed to keep it afloat and it’s distinctly possible that it goes dormant for a while. Certainly, many of its best names will go elsewhere and the likelihood of a Disney Animation Renaissance by 1990 is far lower.

    In the end, Disney as we know it would indeed cease to exist. Parts would live on like the parks and the studio name, though separately. The animation classics would be available on home media. Individual IP and characters will appear. The world may see Mickey & Donald cartoons (possibly cheap or perhaps quality stuff), but they will most likely be drawn by non-Disney cartoonists. Disney characters will still be seen on clothing and toys, though there’s no guarantee that they will be of any level of quality. Assuming Jim Henson chose to stay in the company and not execute the “buy-back” clause or simply cash in his stocks, he’d be an ever-smaller fish in an ever-shrinking corner of an ever-growing pond as the rump “Disney” got slowly digested by the larger ACC organization, reduced to another subsidiary.

    As interesting as the heated board discussions between Henson and Holmes à Court would be[2], it would be a side show for the larger ACC. Disney in this hypothetical timeline will be just one corporate brand within a larger media empire, not a company and certainly not a “dream” to aspire to. And while you can cynically say that this “happened anyway” under Eisner and Iger, to be honest the new non-Disney CEOs of our timeline have at least tried to maintain a level of “brand quality” and “brand integrity” and usually made an effort not completely half-ass things[3], though the results have been mixed in that regard.

    In conclusion, it is extremely likely that whoever took over the Disney name and Disney parks would not feel any real loyalty to Walt’s vision nor feel compelled to spend a penny more than the minimum necessary to produce something with the Disney name, be that a new film or new park.

    Fans and employees of Disney had every right to be afraid for The House that Walt Built.





    [1] By the POWER of HINDSIGHT!!!

    [2] Hat tip to @Nivek, but this will have to be a different timeline.

    [3] Even the controversial Disney’s California Adventure, as screamingly mediocre as it was when it debuted, still had a unifying “vision” and was built on a plan to make something unique in the theme park world. Similarly, the Disney Studios park in Paris hoped to repeat the success of Disney-MGM Studios. The execution of these, limited from the get-go by the unwillingness by leadership to provide the necessary funding to do it right, is another matter entirely, of course.



    EDIT: Happy Birthday to Jim Henson! He would have been 84 years old today
     
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    Who You Gonna' Call?
  • Who You Gonna’ Call? Bernie Brillstein!
    From People Magazine, August 13th, 1984.


    He’s one of the hottest names in Hollywood, a man who worked his way up from the mailroom of William Morris to become a producer for Hyperion Pictures, Hollywood’s hottest new studio. Brillstein is in many ways exactly the image your average person has of a big Hollywood producer, from his track suits and gold chains to his outsized Manhattan-turned-Hollywood personality. Yet he is in many ways the opposite of that stereotype, a man beloved by his coworkers and clients alike who maintains strong ethical standards and shows loyalty to his clients. He’s the man who found John Belushi and Jim Henson their big breaks, the man who came up with Hee-Haw, and the man who brought us the Blues Brothers. His latest production, Ghostbusters, is a runaway success. We had the chance to speak with him by his backyard pool in Bel Aire.

    Ghostbusters_%281984%29_theatrical_poster.png


    People Magazine: your recent movie Ghostbusters, released through Fantasia Films, is a blockbuster hit. How did the movie come to be?

    Bernie Brillstein: well, you can thank Danny Ackroyd. He came to me with this new script, at that point called “The Ghost Busters”, and I pushed Jim Henson and Tom Wilhite to greenlight it immediately. It was a brilliant concept even if the script needed work. Danny even showed me a sketch of the Marshmallow Man. I was pretty new to Disney at the time, so it was a hard sale and, outside of comedies, nobody wanted to put TV people on the big screen. But I believed in Danny and my faith was rewarded.

    PM: you nearly had to change the name.

    BB: yea. It turns out that there was an old ‘70s kids show called The Ghost Busters owned by Universal. Who knew? We kicked around a few names: "Ghoststoppers," "Ghostbreakers," "Ghostsmashers"…none of them worked. We ended up signing a deal with Universal for $500,000 plus 1% of the film's profits[1] in exchange for the name rights.

    PM: and that wasn’t the only issue.

    BB: yes, in order to get Bill Murray on board we agreed to produce The Razor’s Edge. We also had to push to get Eddie Murphy on the show. You see, at first Harry [Ramis] wanted to have an unknown for Winston, but Michael Ovitz and I pushed for Eddie[2], who was both hot and good and also great with Danny, and we felt he could help sell the picture, which Tom was having continuing doubts about. We also had to pay Eddie serious bank since he’s red hot after 48 Hours and Trading Places. Danny originally wanted John Belushi to star with him, but… (pauses, frowns, and shrugs) Yea, it still hurts. I loved John like a son. One of the funniest men I ever met. The green ghost, “Slimeball” we were calling him, is a nod to John. Editor’s note: John Belushi passed away in 1982

    PM: Ghostbusters is getting a lot of attention for its ghostly effects. Can you tell us how they were done?

    BB: you can thank Jim Henson and his “Creature Shop” for the practical effects. The light effects like the proton beams we did partly in-house and partly subcontracted out to ILM, specifically bringing in lighting cinematographer Richard Edlund, who came to us on loan and later joined the team full time. Here’s a fun bit of trivia: several of the ghosts are representations of the seven deadly sins: Slimeball is gluttony, the fur coat that comes to life is greed, the ghost that screws Danny is lust, and so forth[3].

    PM: and of course, there’s the already iconic song…

    BB: (interrupts) please! It’s a great song, but please don’t get it stuck in my head! (laughs)

    PM: Ladyhawke premiered this spring to good reviews and critical acclaim, but only broke even at the box office. To what do you attribute the underperformance?

    BB: well, fantasy epics are always a gamble. They tend to require big budgets, but have a niche audience. Where possible I try to keep the costs down, and we could have turned a fair profit if it’d been, say, a $12 million picture instead of a $20 million one, but Ladyhawk had a lot of special effects, location work, costume work, and set work, so that costs money. Still, though, silver lining: VHS sales are going well.

    PM: your latest project is The Ballad of Edward Ford, due for release through Hyperion in 1985. What can you tell us about it?

    BB: what can I say? It’s a brilliant Lem Dobbs script. Gene Wilder is directing, Jeff Bridges and Gilda Radner are starring, and Elmer Bernstein is putting together a brilliant vintage soundtrack. We’re expecting great things from it.

    PM: now, The Razor’s Edge, which you produced for Murray, is set for release this fall. What can you tell us about it?

    BB: it’s a period drama, produced by Diana Birkenfield and directed by John Byrum[4], that’s set in Europe during and after World War I. Bill plays a volunteer ambulance driver – something Walt Disney himself did, so it’s a real meaningful project for the Disney family, by the way – and anyway the horror of it all sends Bill on a spiritual journey to India as he adjusts to the trauma. It’s serious stuff, Bill’s first dramatic role.

    PM: do you think audiences will connect with Bill Murray in a dramatic role?

    BB: absolutely; Bill’s more than up to the task. He’s got great acting chops and I’m sure if audiences set aside their preconceived notions, they’ll see the great dramatic actor that’s in there.

    PM: and what’s next after The Razor’s Edge?

    BB: two things, actually. We’re currently in production with Lorne Michaels, Danny, Chevy, Steve Martin, and Director John Landis about a couple of films: The Three Caballeros and Spies Like Us. We hope to launch both in ’85.

    PM: what do you have coming to the small screen, may I ask?

    BB: oh, you’re going to love it. Buffalo Bill[5], staring my old friend and former client Dabney Coleman. He’s the friendly, beloved local talk show host that everyone loves…and then once the camera stops rolling, he’s a grade-A [expletive deleted]. I’ve been looking for a new TV vehicle for Dabney for years now, and I got him and writers Tom Patchett and Jay Tarses, whom Jim and I recently lured to Disney and Hyperion, into the same room as NBC’s Brandon Tartikoff and the show wrote itself. We’ve also got some new seasons coming to your favs on the Disney Channel and a new Muppet TV special with John Denver.

    PM: we can hardly wait! Changing subjects: this year was a challenge for Disney and Hyperion alike with the recent hostile takeover attempt by ACC. Did that affect you?

    BB: are you kidding? I worked hard to get to the top and finally be the guy greenlighting pictures, not just pitching them. I had no idea if there was a future for me with ACC or if they’d kick me to the curb in favor of Holmes à Court’s favorites. Now that I’m on the top I can’t imagine leaving it!

    PM: it was a close-run thing.

    BB: absolutely! But a huge thanks to all of the folks out there who stood with us. We couldn’t have made it through without you all! (blows a kiss)

    PM: you mentioned earlier that you’re ‘on the top’ now. How has your life changed?

    BB: (laughs) what can I say, it’s been great! All my life I wanted to be the guy that everybody called, the name everybody knew. And here I am! Everyone wants a piece of the action with Hyperion. We’re even spinning up a new Hyperion channel on basic cable and now everyone wants us to produce their show. I had to hire an extra assistant just to handle the calls!

    PM: who you gonna’ call?

    BB: me! (laughs)

    PM: Thank you, Mr. Brillstein.

    BB: any time, really!




    [1] Which, adjusting for inflation, resulted in a nice fat profit of $0.00. “Hollywood Accounting” ensures that every movie ever made has never made a profit. It’s a shell game using shell companies and it’s mind-blowing that it’s even legal. If you ever happen to work for Hollywood always negotiate for a share of the gross, never the profit. Columbia made the same deal in our timeline.

    [2] Playing with irony here. Contrary to “common knowledge” Eddie Murphy was not being considered by Harold Ramis to play Winston since he wanted a more bright eyed newcomer. Here I make it happen just because.

    [3] The others are a hideous zombie applying makeup in the women’s room for vanity, a fat ghost snoring on a bed in a store for sloth, an angry ghost that chases screaming people for wrath, and a ghost of Marilyn Monroe over a blowing grate with another, plain female ghost looking jealously on for envy.

    [4] Interesting coincidence here. John Byrum interned with Jim Henson in the late ‘60s and was one of the original writers for Sesame Street. In our timeline he went on to work with producer Rob Cohen to make this movie. Here he followed Jim to Disney in the early ‘80s. He passionately wanted to make a movie based on the W. Somerset Maugham novel. Here, the opportunity to do so just comes to him slightly differently.

    [5] Created a year later than our timeline due to butterflies.
     
    Disney Unauthorized History VII: New Leadership
  • Chapter 14: Times of Change, Times of Troubles
    Excerpt from The King is Dead: The Walt Disney Company After Walt Disney, an Unauthorized History by Sue Donym and Arman N. Said


    With the coming of August, 1984, the threat posed by Robert Holmes à Court had passed. The new Disney team was starting to finally relax after months of stress and worry. At a celebratory dinner, Jim Henson even presented the “Round Table” participants with a new design he’d commissioned from Disney Imagineers for a literal round table for the conference room, modelled on the one of Arthurian legend. Ever the egalitarian at heart, the idea appealed to Henson as much on a symbolic level as an artistic one.

    However, as the dust settled it was hardly clear exactly what the new board was going to look like, none the less whether there’d be equity, implicit or otherwise. The Round Table Group was a marriage of convenience borne of strife, and like many relationships borne in conflict there was no guarantee that it would last into peacetime. Beyond vague in-the-moment promises from Chairman Ray Watson, there was no clear, defined role for the Bass Brothers and Marriott, none the less Amblin, Lucasfilm, and Apple Computers. Did all of them get a seat at the table, whatever its physical shape?

    Discussions were long and contentious at times. Matters were helped when Steve Jobs and George Lucas took themselves out of consideration for the board since they both lived around San Francisco, hundreds of miles to the north. Spielberg, who held a similar share of the stocks, did likewise. On the suggestion of Jim Henson, they were offered special “Advisory” memberships on the board, which were non-voting and ad hoc positions, but which would allow their “wisdom” to be tapped as needed.

    Sid Bass, who lived in Dallas, suggested that Charles Cobb, the head of his Arvida subsidiary, could represent his interests (he’d generally call in from Florida). Bill Marriott, Jr., likewise nominated Al Checchi, an LA local, to represent his interests. The two CEOs would, instead, take “Associate” positions alongside Jobs, Lucas, and Spielberg. The existing board acquiesced without much argument knowing that the two of them could easily claim two seats each if they wanted based on precedent regarding their stakes in the company.

    But the drama did not end there. The board was less than enamored with Ron Miller’s performance throughout the takeover ordeal. He’d been worried and indecisive at Disney and inarticulate in interviews. Chairman Ray Watson had been the de facto leader through the crisis. Stanley Gold was not so subtly suggesting that new leadership was warranted. Miller, seemingly oblivious to the fact that his job was on the line, was asked at one point by Watson to leave the room while the matter was discussed. He left quietly, in shock at the sudden realization of his vulnerability.

    Miller was definitely in trouble. Even his normally rock-solid base with the Disney-Miller-Lund family was on shaky ground after his separation from Dianne. Checchi and Cobb echoed Gold’s assessment that Miller lacked executive talent and many of the Old Guard on the board were expressing their frustration in how Walker had largely imposed the young prince upon them, rather than let the matter be organically decided. Walker and Tatum, however, treated the suggestion of removing Miller as heresy while Henson and Wilhite defended Miller’s actions with the company in general, citing the success of Hyperion Studios and the home video sales in particular. Gottesman was expected to side with Henson in any vote and Roy E. Disney was expected, peace pipe or not, to vote for removal. The Old Guard were expected to be split. There was no clear consensus.

    Gottesman proposed a compromise: they find a new President and COO from outside of the organization, someone with noted executive talent and business sense to act as a shepherd for Miller. Having Walt’s chosen air as the chief executive held symbolic value, Gottesman argued, and though his business sense was…evolving, his strategic instincts were good.

    The board quickly came to the consensus that this option should be explored as a compromise solution, and Miller was brought back into the room. Miller took the news as a temporary stay of execution and vowed to try and stay on the board’s good side as they sought a new President/COO.

    The bigger question thus became who this new President/COO should be. Phil Hawley suggested Dennis Stanfill, a former executive at 20th Century Fox who had been at the helm when the blockbuster Star Wars had been greenlit. Gold had a different idea. “What about Frank Wells?” They’d all seen Well’s leadership talents on full display, showing exactly the kind of calm, professional cool-headedness and efficient organization that a good COO in particular should possess.

    Jim Henson, meanwhile, suggested Michael Eisner. Eisner had recently lost his position at Paramount following the retirement of his boss and former mentor, Barry Diller. Eisner’s ultimate boss, Gulf+Western’s Marty Davis, did not care for him, so suddenly the hot[1] young executive was available. Roy E. Disney was willing to support this option, having served with Eisner on the board of CalArts. Miller himself backed this option, having known Eisner and his track record[2].

    With three big names on the board strongly supporting Eisner, the young exec was now the odds-on favorite. Gold even asked Wells about Eisner. Wells, who was not aware that he was in the running for the position, wholeheartedly backed the plan. “He’s hot. He’s got a track record,” said Wells. “You should do everything you can to get him.” Wells even offered to help arrange it[3].

    Ron Miller approached Eisner, who met with him and the Disney family for dinner. Eisner made a good impression at first with his enthusiasm and grand vision, though he also committed a serious faux pas by asking matriarch Lillian Disney if the rumors about Walt being frozen were true[4]. Eisner later met with the board, who found his jovial attitude and big ideas interesting, but many, Cobb and Hawley in particular, were upset about his lack of executive experience. Walker was unimpressed, and threw his weight behind Stanfill. Gold suggested an Eisner/Wells pair-up, but the idea was quickly dismissed.

    After the meeting, Gold tried to negotiate with Walker. In fact, he made Walker an offer: “If you back Eisner and are willing to step down from the board and executive council along with Donn [Tatum], I’ll step down with you. You can put Dianne [Disney Miller] in your place and I’ll put [Roy’s brother in law] Pete Dailey in mine. The balance will be even between [the] Walt and Roy [sides of the family].”

    “I’ll consider it,” said Walker, “But not for Eisner. I’ll back Wells and can get the rest of the board to go with me.”

    “You wouldn’t know creativity if it bit you in the ass, Card,” Gold said, “Eisner has it. Disney needs it.”

    “Disney has creativity, Stan,” Walker countered, “It has Jim. What it needs is someone like Dennis or Frank who knows the business side. I doubt Eisner could handle your client [Roy], much less someone like Holmes à Court.”

    The arguments on the board continued, with shifting factions attempting to sort between Eisner, Wells, and Stanfill. Wells was already slowly emerging as the consensus candidate when Eisner cut his own throat. During a second interview with the board, he made an open play for Chairman and CEO, suggesting that Miller could become his President and COO. After the experience he’d had at Paramount with Diller and Davis, Eisner wanted to be his own boss, and thus no longer answerable to anyone. This struck the board as hubris. Even Jim Henson regrettably withdrew his support for Eisner and put it behind Frank Wells, with whom he’d gotten along well during the takeover crisis.

    With Eisner’s backing disintegrating, Frank Wells would be accepted by the board as the new President and COO of Walt Disney Productions. Card Walker, Donn Tatum, and Stanley Gold soon announced their withdrawal from the board, to be replaced by Dianne Disney Miller and Peter Dailey. Walker and Tatum would also step down from the Executive Committee in favor of Frank Wells and Roy Disney, but would remain non-voting “Associate” members on the Board of Directors.

    A new era began at Walt Disney Productions, which was soon to take the new, more inclusive title of Walt Disney Entertainment. Frank Wells would quickly prove his worth as President and COO, acting aggressively to cut overhead, improve efficiency, raise profit margins, and streamline communication channels and bureaucracy. Wall Street reacted positively to this change and Disney stocks began to tick aggressively upward.

    One of the first actions taken by the new company was to remodel the Board of Director’s conference room. They had a new, large, round table to install, after all.

    - - -​


    After Ron Miller broke the news to him, Michael Eisner thanked Miller and hung up the phone quietly. He’d overplayed his hand. After the first promising interview with the board he’d started thinking about the company and what he could do with it. He’d imagined the changes he could make. He’d even started to imagine that he could be the new Walt Disney[5], celebrity CEO & Chairman of the Happiest Place on Earth, maybe even take Henson’s place on the World of Magic.

    It could have been perfect. It would have given him the complete creative freedom he’d always craved, no longer beholden to thoughtless bureaucrats like Marty Davis who thought they could develop creativity on a spreadsheet. But, alas, que sera sera. Michael Eisner wasn’t the type to sit quietly and lick his wounds. He was the hottest executive in Hollywood and he knew it. He already had a second offer on the table too. He took a few deep breaths, centered himself, and picked up the phone.
    The first call was to ABC, his former employer before following Diller to Paramount. The venerable broadcaster was looking for new talent to take over the struggling ABC Motion Pictures, and they wanted Eisner to be its new President and Chairman[6]. He accepted. Starting from there, he could work his way to the top of ABC. It would just take more time. In the meantime, the young studio was a formless piece of clay that he could shape however he wanted.

    His second call was to his old compatriot at Paramount, Jeffrey Katzenberg. “Jeff,” he said, “Disney fell through, but I got ABC. Gather the best of the best at Paramount; you’re coming with me.”

    Eisner hung up the receiver and smiled. He even had the perfect name for the studio: Hollywood Pictures.



    * * *​

    The Board of Directors for the Walt Disney Entertainment Company, Fall 1984:
    Ray Watson, Chairman (former head of the Irvine Company)
    Ronald “Ron” Miller, CEO
    Frank Wells, President and COO
    James M. “Jim” Henson, CCO, President, Walt Disney Studios, & Creative Director
    Richard “Dick” Nunis, President, Disney Outdoor Entertainment
    Roy E. Disney, Vice President, Walt Disney Animation Studios (head of Shamrock Holdings)
    Al Gottesman (President, Henson Arts Holdings[7])
    Dianne Disney Miller (Partner, Retlaw Enterprises)
    Peter Dailey (former US ambassador to Ireland and Roy Disney’s brother-in-law)
    Philip Hawley (Carter Hawley Hale)
    Samuel Williamson (senior partner, Hufstedler, Miller, Carson, & Beardsley)
    Caroline Ahmanson (head and founder of Caroline Leonetti Ltd.; Chairman of the Federal Reserve Bank of San Francisco)
    Charles Cobb (CEO of Arvida Corp.; representing the interests of Bass Brothers)
    Alfred Attilio “Al” Checchi (representing Marriott International)

    Advisory Board Members (non-voting, ad-hoc attendance):
    E. Cardon “Card” Walker, Chairman Emeritus
    Donn Tatum, Chairman Emeritus
    Sid Bass (CEO of Bass Brothers Enterprises)
    Steven Spielberg (Partner, Amblin Entertainment)
    Steve Jobs (CEO & President of Apple Computer, Inc.)
    George Lucas (CEO of Lucasfilm, Ltd.)
    J. Willard “Bill” Marriott, Jr. (CEO of Marriott International)


    The Disney Executive Committee:
    Ronald “Ron” Miller, CEO
    Frank Wells, President and COO
    James M. “Jim” Henson, CCO and President, Walt Disney Studios
    Richard “Dick” Nunis, President, Disney Outdoor Entertainment
    Thomas “Tom” Wilhite, President, Hyperion Pictures
    Roy E. Disney, Vice President, Walt Disney Animation Studios



    * * *​

    Stocks at a Glance: Walt Disney Entertainment (DIS)
    August 15th, 1984
    Stock price: $81.57
    Major Shareholders: Henson family (19.2%), Roy E. Disney (13.4%), Disney-Miller family (12.2%), Sid Bass (9.6%), Bill Marriott (6.3%), Amblin Entertainment (1.3%), Apple Comp. (0.7%), Lucasfilm Ltd. (0.42%), Suspected “Knights Errant” (4.4%), Others (32.1%)
    Outstanding shares: 37.6 million





    [1] In the Hollywood slang of the time, “hot” meant “popular and exciting”, not physically or sexually attractive. In his autobiography, Bernie Brillstein makes a point of differentiating between “hot” and “good”, or “exciting and popular” vs. “actually talented”. The two are not mutually exclusive, of course. Brillstein says that “good” is more important in the long run since “hot” typically fades, but “good” has the potential for a long career.

    [2] In our timeline, Miller tried to bring in Eisner in the early 1980s as his President and COO, but was blocked by Walker. In this timeline he had Henson to fall back upon for creative input and had been secretly grooming Henson for the position. Henson, however, has already turned it down.

    [3] Quote and offer made in our timeline as well.

    [4] He did so in our timeline too, at least according to Disney War.

    [5] Some of Roy’s first regrets vis-a-vis Eisner in our timeline came when Eisner started to stake a claim not just to Walt’s company, but to Walt’s image as well.

    [6] True in our timeline too. He took the Disney job instead, obviously.

    [7] A.k.a. “HAH!”; the private holding company that manages the IP for the Sesame Street Muppets as well as the Henson Family’s personal investments and finances.
     
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    Meta-Discussion: Aftermath II
  • Meta-Commentary: Why did Disney “Survive” II: The Electric Boogaloo

    Walt Disney Productions has managed to “survive” the hostile takeover bid in this timeline without any major management shakeups or drastic cultural shifts. Technically, of course, it survived in our timeline too, but it went through a tumultuous management and cultural shakeup with Eisner and Wells changing not only the “What Would Walt Do?” paradigm and the laisse faire culture, but arguably changing many of the aspects of the company’s core culture and values.

    In this timeline, Ron Miller will continue on as CEO and Watson as Chairman for the time being. Change will come to Disney, no doubt about it, though it will come in a more evolutionary rather than revolutionary manner. Frank Wells is the President and COO, and likely to excerpt far more influence than his subordinate position would indicate (much as he did in out timeline). The Basses still control much of the company and the Marriotts have a hand in things, as do to a lesser degree Jobs, Spielberg, and Lucas. Much as Disney of 1983/84 under Miller was notably different than Disney of 1981/82 under Walker, so will Disney experience notable changes in the mid to late ‘80s under Miller, Henson, and Wells.

    But our timeline’s sudden and severe shift in company culture will not happen, or at least not all at once. There will be no Katzenberg-driven complete reordering (some might say dismemberment) of the animation department, no dramatic shift from customer-focus to shareholder-focus, no major management cultural shift driven by Eisner, no “survival of the fittest” employee paradigm that directly pitted employees against each other, and no “cult of personality” built around Eisner that reorders Disney in his own image. It will keep more “Disney people” and not bring in a bunch of “Paramount people” in a move towards the usual way of doing business in Hollywood. This outcome was, ironically, the “greatest fear” of the conservative faction represented by Walker and Tatum that drove their extreme resistance to change. In our timeline, Walker and Tatum’s fears of “corrupt, sinful Hollywood” contaminating the purer “Disney way” became a self-fulfilling prophesy.

    From the standpoint of the post-Walt “powers that be” at Disney, this timeline’s outcome was “better”. There was no humiliating greenmail. The “power shakeup” was in part internally driven rather than externally imposed. Miller will act as a stabilizing transitional force giving a “bridge” between the old and new Disneys, rather than our timeline’s sudden imposition of a New Disney and the short-term chaos, protests, distrust, and discontent that it brought.

    Will this Disney be more stable or less stable than the one our timeline saw? Stay tuned.

    But how did this happen? What factors allowed Miller to hold on and saw Eisner go to ABC instead?

    Three things:

    1 – Much higher Stock Price. At ~$84 per share rather than ~$52, Holmes à Court had both higher acquisition costs and a smaller potential profit margin than did Steinberg in our timeline. Steinberg may not have attempted takeover/greenmail under these circumstances, and in this timeline was instead happy to play “arb” and soak up some short-term profits riding the storm. Here, Holmes à Court was more interested in the specific acquisitions he’d get (e.g. Disney Studios, a natural expansion for his new communications empire) than in a general opportunity for profit like Steinberg, so he was less risk-adverse given his very specific goals.

    2 – United Disney family. In our timeline Roy E. Disney pulled out of the company to make his own hostile takeover bid, and did so at exactly the worst possible time for the Disney status quo. Roy celebrated the results in our timeline, but he later came to regret them. He and Gold in this timeline were part of a united front against Holmes à Court, rather than a second hostile faction who considered collaboration with the raiders like they were in our timeline.

    3 – Better defensive strategy. In our timeline the management team at Disney made several mistakes, from the ill-advised Arvida takeover (Gold was right, they really didn’t need more land or a land development company) to the ongoing hesitancy to take decisive action or accept risk to the ultimate capitulation and greenmail. In our timeline the management of Disney made all the wrong choices. In this timeline they…make several wrong choices, but also some good ones, in particular the earlier adoption of a White Knight strategy which, in my opinion, was probably the only workable option for them.

    In our timeline Stanley Gold, the one person in the drama directly connected to the Disneys that had personally been through takeover fights before, was advocating just such a strategy once he joined the board with Roy. In this timeline Roy is still on the board and Gold is with him when the fight begins. Why? Butterflies due to Jim Henson’s presence on the board. Roy chose to follow the lead of Jim Henson and increase his stake in the company earlier than in our timeline, and as a path to internal influence rather than in hope of a hostile takeover. Henson, an outsider and neutral party in the Walt-Roy divide, had befriended him and given him hope that Disney might still have a place for him without requiring drastic, hostile actions on his part.

    In our timeline, the open hostility of the Walt-side left him with no influence and with few other options but fight or flight. In this timeline, by contrast, Henson has given Roy a potential “inside track” to influence, giving him reason to hang on longer.

    And thus, in a weird twist of fate, in this timeline Ron Miller’s position is ironically and inadvertently saved by the actions of Roy E. Disney.

    A Disney Without Eisner?

    So, in this timeline Michael Eisner has been passed over in favor of Frank Wells, and only Frank Wells. Instead, he is now going on to build Hollywood Pictures as a subsidiary of ABC, and I assure you that we will definitely hear from him again. But what is different at Disney without him?

    Quite a lot. In fact, my principle reason for why Eisner does not take over Disney in this timeline (despite the fact that Miller, Roy Disney, and even Jim Henson would support it), is because then the timeline would be essentially our timeline with a few small changes, not a truly unique timeline.

    The fact is that Michael Eisner in the 1980s was a force of nature. He was smart, aggressive, cunning, arguably narcissistic, undoubtedly hardworking, willing to take creative risks, willing to listen to competing ideas (to a point), and willing to run over anyone who got in his way. Not content to simply take over and turn around Disney, he completely reshaped Disney in his own image. He changed the way the company culture thought and acted. He pitted once friendly coworkers against one another. He put his personal stamp on every single thing done in Disney, from the design of hotels to the location of Euro Disney to the pictures released to the shape of park attractions. He got his way.

    He replaced as many Disney people as he could with Paramount people, most notably brining in Jeffrey Katzenberg. Katzenberg was a lot like Eisner in a lot of respects, in particular being smart, aggressive, hardworking, cunning, and willing to run over anyone who got in his way. Unlike Eisner, who put on a friendly face and played the “team builder”, Katzenberg ruffled a lot of feathers and didn’t care whose toes he stepped on. He expected there to be a diet coke waiting for him wherever he went and never said “thank you” when he got it, not because he was necessarily rude, but because he felt that he didn’t have the time for such niceties. He tended not to listen to underlings even about subjects like animation to which he had no direct experience before joining the company. But he also took the time to learn, studying hard and doing the research until he could talk the talk and walk the walk.

    Jim Henson got along well with Eisner in our timeline, but he did not get along with Katzenberg. When attempting to sell the Muppets to Disney in 1989, he had long and friendly chats with Eisner, even though he got increasingly annoyed with Eisner constantly bringing the Sesame Street Muppets back to the table, even though they were off limits. Katzenberg, however, struck him as condescending, arrogant, and unwilling to listen. Henson, who tended to cherish his employees and considered them highly skilled master craftsmen and artists deserving of respect and compensation, despised the way Katzenberg was treating the Muppet performers and dismissing their talents and needs during the abortive sale attempt.

    Had Eisner taken over in 1984 in this timeline, then here’s what most likely happens: at first, Eisner and Henson get along well, but, slowly, this will break down. Henson and Katzenberg will clash constantly. Katzenberg will go behind Henson’s back to undermine his authority, much as he did in our timeline with wunderkind Stan Kinsey. Eisner, who has his own creative vision, will undoubtedly start to see Henson as a competitor at some point and start to marginalize him in the way that he marginalized others he considered threats in our timeline, including his “close friend” Michael Ovitz and, ultimately, his friend and lieutenant Katzenberg.

    Eventually, Jim Henson will lose his patience and leave, probably in the late ‘80s or early ‘90s. At first, he will attempt to invoke the buy-back clause, but after several years of integration with Disney it will prove difficult separating out what’s “Henson” and what’s “Disney”. Furthermore, Eisner and the Disney lawyers will surely attempt to extract an ounce of blood for every dollar of value Henson claims. More than likely, Jim will give up and leave the Muppets and the rest with Disney and simply cash in his stocks. This will leave him with over half a billion dollars in liquid assets. He will likely use this to build a new production company from the ground up.

    Ironically, he’ll still end up fighting Eisner and Disney, first over the very right to use his own name on productions. Later, he’ll face constant direct competition and “dualling movies” from Disney as Eisner puts something similar up against every production Henson launches. Eisner will do this both out of competition, and out of spite, just as he did to competing studios in our timeline and just as Jeffrey Katzenberg would do to him and Disney after forming Dreamworks SKG.

    How well Henson will do is hard to say and is based on a lot of factors, but my bet is that he’ll stay small, like his family did with HA after his death. The new Henson production company will go on to be a small but steady and influential production studio rather than a giant empire, much as Jim Henson Productions in our timeline is today.

    But that is another timeline.
     
    Mask of the Monkey King
  • Mask of the Monkey King: An Indiana Jones Adventure (1984)

    Mask of the Monkey King, subtitled “An Indiana Jones Adventure”, is the second installment in the Indiana Jones saga produced by Amblin Entertainment in partnership with Lucasfilm. The film follows on from the events in Raiders of the Lost Ark, with Indiana and Marion now exhuming artifacts in China. Indiana Jones and Marion Ravenwood are then literally “Shanghaied” by Chinese Tong gangsters into retrieving the eponymous mask before it falls into the hands of the villainous Colonel Oni.

    The film was released in May of 1984 and performed well at the Box Office. The current critical consensus is that it’s notably weaker than its predecessor, but it was a major hit upon its release. The film is largely considered a classic by fans, though it has received criticism for its portrayal of Chinese mythology, its positive portrayal of Mao Zedong, and its dark themes and voilence.

    Cast & Crew:
    Produced by: Kathleen Kennedy
    Associate Producer: Lisa Henson
    Directed by: Steven Spielberg
    Executive Producers: George Lucas & Steven Spielberg
    Written by: Lawrence Kasdan (additional script work by Willard Huyck and Gloria Katz)
    Story by: George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, and Lisa Henson

    Starring:
    Harrison Ford (Indiana Jones)
    Karren Allen (Marion Ravenwood)
    Jonathan Ke Quan (Wu Lì, aka “Willie”)
    Bolo Yeung (Hóu, aka “Short Round”)
    Tatsuya Mihashi (Colonel Yamato Oni)
    George Takei (Major Domo)
    Roy Chiao (Lao Che)
    David Carradine (Abner Ravenwood)
    Tobgyal (Guanyin, Buddhist monk at Cittamanas Temple in the Himalayas)
    Sammo Hung (Da Goh, Taoist Monk from Hóu Hóngsè temple on the Yangtse)

    Synopsis

    The movie begins in media res with the Paramount logo dissolving into a steep-sided, green-topped mountain towering over the flat Chinese plain. Rice patties and small houses cover the landscape. Suddenly a Japanese dive bomber flies overhead from behind camera and banks off to the left. An explosion rocks the peaceful scene. We are suddenly in the middle of a war zone as Kuomintang soldiers attempt without luck to hold back an assault by Imperial Japanese Army forces. The Chinese forces break into retreat as the Japanese soldiers and tanks overrun the plain.

    Colonel Yamato Oni appears with a menacing fanfare. Major Domo walks up with a Kuomintang soldier who surrendered, which Oni considers “Disgraceful.” He promises the prisoner freedom in exchange for intelligence, which the prison gives, only to be beheaded by Oni with his katana. “Major, release this man,” Oni says.

    As the guards go to bury the body, one with a shovel over his shoulder, the scene segues to a shovel scooping up dirt. It then pans to reveal a large archeological site with diggers and surveyors. A title card says “Xi'an Province, Republic of China, 1938.” Workers exhume terracotta soldiers and other artifacts[1]. One worker starts excitedly calling and runs, holding an artifact. He takes it to where Indiana Jones, back to camera, stands overlooking the dig. Marion Ravenwood approaches, asking “What is it?” Indy cleans it off, revealing the glow of jade.

    We now see Indy’s face. “Exactly what we came for, doll!” he says, smiling.

    The scene now cuts to a tent where Indy and Marion are cleaning off the jade urn with Marion’s father Abner Ravenwood (a cameo by David Carradine) looking on. He congratulates them. “The ashes of Qin Shi Huang, first Emperor of China! You’ll both be wealthy and famous!”

    “This isn’t about fortune and glory, Abner,” says Indy, looking illuminated by the find.

    That night, Indy captures a food thief: a small orphan boy (parents killed in the war) named Wu Lì, whom Indy calls “Willie”. He wants to send Willie to a refugee camp (“I’m not here to babysit”), but Marion stops him, suggesting they have a duty to help the less fortunate.

    They are soon all interrupted by shrieking security whistles. “We’ve got trouble,” says Indy. “They not with me,” says Willie when they look at him.

    The camp is soon being overrun by Tong gangsters. One, a short but stocky man, Hóu, is beating up the guards like they were nobodies, using kung fu moves (specifically Hóu-Quán). Indy mocks him as “Short Round” and draws his pistol, but Hóu uses a chain to pull it from his grasp. The two continue to fight, but Indy is definitely on the losing side. “Dad, do something!” says Marion, but Abner says “Do I look like I know kung fu?” Marion sighs, runs, and grabs the gun, but is unable to get a clear shot.

    Eventually, more well-armed gangsters appear, forcing Indy and Marion to surrender. The gangsters take the urn and compel Indy and Marion to get into a car.

    The scene segues to a bright, well-lit 1930s club covered in art deco designs. A Chinese chanteuse sings a Mandarin cover of “Anything Goes” as dancers perform around her. A Title Card says “Shanghai, China.” Indy Marion, and Willie are taken to see the gangster Lau Che, who is handed the urn and “appreciate the gift” but has “one more thing I need for you to get me.” Lau Che reveals that he has a map to the Cittamanas Temple, which contains “relics related to the real Monkey King,” in particular “a mask, said to contain the spirit of the Monkey King himself. Silly peasant stories, of course.” He unrolls an ancient scroll to reveal a picture of the mask. Marion lambastes Lau for his “greed,” but he insists he’s a “patriot” and that the money will fund the war effort. Indy expresses that he “doesn’t care” about Lau’s petty politics. The whole time, a shady looking man with Tojo glasses and a toothbrush mustache looks on from an adjacent table. The leitmotif of Colonel Oni plays for a second.

    It segues to a drive down the streets of Shanghai, past abject poverty in stark contrast to the glamor of the club, to an airport, where Indy, Marion, Willie, and (to Indy’s annoyance) Hóu/Short Round board a Lockheed Electra, Lau Che wishing “happy trails, Doctor Jones!”.

    It pans back to reveal the shady man in the Tojo glasses looking on. The leitmotif of Colonel Oni plays again as the shady character picks up a payphone. “Tell the Colonel that the plane is headed to Tibet,” he says.

    The plane then travels through the clouds, superimposed over a map, with the Indiana Jones theme playing in the background as a red line traces a journey from Shanghai, to Chongqing, to Lhasa.

    The plane lands at a small mountain airport. Soon we see Indy, Marion, Willie, and Hóu riding donkeys through the winding mountain passes of the majestic Himalayas. Indy describes how, according to legend, the Monkey King, while escorting the monk Tang Sanzang, played a prank on a mountain hermit, who turned out to be the Bodhisattva Guanyin. Guanyin then, as punishment for the insolence, stole the face from the Monkey King and with it his heavenly powers. The temple Lau Che was sending them to, Cittamanas Temple, was according to legend built upon the site of the hermit’s shack[2].

    From the shadows of a tree trunk in the foreground, a pair of eyes open up, drawing out attention to a hidden, black-clad figure.

    At the temple they are greeted by a Buddhist monk, who welcomes them and offers them shelter. Over dinner when Indy brings up the legend, the monk laughs, and says “there are no mystical masks here, my friend.”

    Later, Indy and the team discover a secret doorway. They are forced to go through a room full of crawling bugs and other obstacles.

    Back outside, we see a group of ninjas suddenly overrunning the temple, cold-bloodedly slaughtering the unresisting monks. The head monk stands quietly at the door throughout all of this. One ninja, who is bowed to by the others, walks up to the Monk and removes his mask: it’s Colonel Oni. “You will not find what you seek, brother,” says the monk. Oni beheads him with his katana.

    Back in the caves, Indy, Marion, Willie, and Hóu discover a room decorated with depictions of the Monkey King. In the center, lit by a single beam of moonlight, is a magnificent golden mask. Despite Indy’s warnings of a possible trap, Hóu walks up and grabs it and hands it to Indy. Indy quickly declares the mask “a fake” and instead looks at one of the paintings on the wall. From the painting he deciphers that the true mask is “where the Three Rivers Meet” at the legendary “temple of Hóu Hóngsè.”

    They emerge from the caverns to find that Oni and the ninjas[3] have overrun the temple. They demand that Indy and crew surrender, but Hóu grabs a bamboo pole and begins fighting back the ninjas. Now Indy, Marion, and Willie have no choice but to scramble and fight their way through the ninjas in a running, swinging, leaping melee among the cliffhanging decks of the mountainside temple. Indy, using his whip, swings past two ninjas, runs, and grabs a small package from their stack of gear that’s clearly labelled “Emergency Raft; Auto-inflatable.”

    He runs to the edge of the mountainside and inflates the raft as Marion and Willie join him. “Get in!” he yells. “Are you crazy?” asks Marion. “GET IN!!” Indy, Willie, and Marion get in the raft. “Short Round, come on!” yells Indy, but Hóu shoos them away. “Don’t have to tell me twice,” says Indy, and launches the three of them over the edge. They start to slide down the steep cliffside, through snow and ice, past forests, off of a cliff, and into a raging river. They’re pulled along down the river until the rapids finally end and they can relax. “You Yankees are crazy!” yells Willie.

    Up at the temple, Hóu is still fighting the Ninjas, who have him backed up to a steep cliff. Oni finally draws a gun and shoots him, causing him to fly off the cliff, out of sight. Major Domo walks up to Oni with the gold mask and bows. “Sir, we have the mask!”

    “No. It’s a fake. If anyone knows where the real mask is, it’s him,” pointing to where Indy went.

    “How will we find them?” asks Domo.

    “This river only runs one direction”.

    Indy, Marion, and Willie arrive, soaked, to Hóu Hóngsè temple on the Yangtse where the “three rivers” converge. They are greeted by a Taoist monk named Da Goh and given a reprieve. They learn that yes, the mask is here, but it must stay “under the mountain”. Suddenly alert, the monk warns them that “evil is coming; quickly!” and opens a secret door behind a Monkey King mural. He tells them that the mask is in the tunnels and that they must take the mask “far away”. However, he warns them that “the cost of immortality is the soul.” Indy declares he has no need for immortality. They search through the tunnels and find the mask nonchalantly sitting on a shelf cut into the living rock. It is bronze and far less elegant than the gold fake.

    But before Indy and the team can escape with the mask, Col Oni arrives with some soldiers and ninjas. There’s a big fight between the ninjas and monks. Witnessing everything through a gap in the floor, Marion says that they need to find another way out. Willie reports there’s no other way. Oni, whose ninjas finally overrun the temple, and who has beheaded Da Goh, discovers Indy and the team through the gap and diverts river water into the secret tunnels, which start to slowly flood. After some tense moments, Col. Oni offers Indy and the team their “freedom” in exchange for the mask. They relent and pass the mask through the gap, and then Major Domo says, “we can now take this to the Emperor.”

    They start to leave when Marion says, “Wait, you promised us our freedom!” “Yes,” says Oni, “Freedom from this cycle of the wheel of life. May your next life be better.” They leave, Marion screaming.

    Just as the water is about to cover their heads, Hóu arrives in the empty temple and smiles, somehow there and alive. He breaks them out of the tunnels by physically ripping the floor up with his bare hands. As they dry themselves, the mute Hóu keeps insistently pointing north, but Indy says, “No, the mask will soon be on a plane to Japan,” insisting he’s not going to Tokyo in the middle of a war for Lau Che. But Hóu keeps pointing to a mural of an ancient map of China on the wall, specifically pointing to Manchuria. “Of course,” says Indy “there’s another Emperor!”

    The scene fades into a map & travel sequence where they board a sketchy tri-motor and fly through Xian over the Great Wall to Ulan Bator in Mongolia, then fly west through the night into Japanese-occupied Manchuria.

    It’s night and they’re driving an old truck along forest roads. A Title Card says “Manchukuo (Japanese Occupied Manchuria)”. Indy exposits about how the Japanese put the old Qing Emperor Xuantong on the throne of Manchuria as a puppet monarch. Suddenly, armed men stop their vehicle. Hóu suddenly bolts into the night, seeming to vanish. “Who are they?” asks Willie.

    “Communist rebels,” says Indy, nervously.

    A smiling Mao Zedong appears, holding a submachine gun, as a riff from the People’s Republic National Anthem “March of the Volunteers” plays.

    The scene transitions to a fabulous palace at night, where a big gala is happening. A Title Card reads: “Imperial Palace, Hsinking.” Col. Oni visits and bows low to Emperor Xuantong and formally gifts the Emperor with the golden mask. The Emperor smiles, and says, “ah, yes, they say the power of the Monkey King will be gifted to whomever shall wear this mask!” he tries it on and nothing happens. All laugh, and he thanks Oni for the “Great gift.”

    Later, in private, Maj. Domo notes that Oni gave him the fake mask, to which Col. Oni says that the true mask is reserved for the “true Emperor,” to which Maj. Domo smiles “to Japan then.”

    “No,” says Oni, “to the temple on Mount Huaguo. I am now the true Emperor.”

    “You would betray Hirohito? Blasphemy!” yells Major Domo, who is promptly beheaded by Oni. Oni then raises the real mask and smiles.

    Indy, Marion, and Willie are now shown to be hanging out with the Red Army in a hidden camp in a poor village. The Reds are treating them well. A Red Army soldier points out the poverty of the locals to Indy and describes the abuses of the Japanese army upon the populous and Indy realized he can’t just sit on the sidelines anymore.

    Indy then talks with Mao, who is pointing to a map. “He says that a small Japanese force has travelled into the Khingan Mountains,” Indy tell Marion. “It must be Oni.” Marion asks how he knows, and Indy indicates that the mountains are believed to be the home of Mount Huanguo from the legend. Indy exposits that, once there, Oni would be able to perform an ancient sacrificial rite that will imbue him with the powers of the Monkey King. Once he does so, he’ll “be able to harvest the Peaches of Immortality.”

    The team parts ways with the Red Army and travels to the ruins of the mountain temple, where they sneak past the Japanese Army soldiers and, following Willie’s guidance, they find the secret sacrificial chamber deep inside the mountain. Inside, Oni, wearing ceremonial robes and the true mask, is leading an ancient rite. He sacrifices a shrieking monkey with a knife[4] and, before their eyes, is engulfed by magical light and tendrils. “It’s too late!” says Marion, quietly.
    “Yes, too late,” says Indy, looking back and raising his hands as a pistol is pointed at him.

    The team, tied up, is now, is brought before Oni, who is still glowing unnaturally. He’s acting and moving strangely, almost like a monkey. He laughs, “Yes, it is good of you to join us, Dr. Jones, for it is time to harvest the Peaches of Immortality.” The camera zooms in on Indy’s chest. We can hear his beating heart.

    “The heart,” says Indy, “The Peaches of Immortality are harvested from the heart. The ‘garden of the heavens’ could translate in ancient Chinese[5] to ‘the center of life and spirit’.”

    Marion is suddenly dragged towards the alter insisting the whole time that if he needs a virgin sacrifice, he’s “wasting his time.” In the background, Willie is slowly escaping his bonds. Just as Marion is getting tied to the alter and Oni descends upon her with the knife, grasping hand reaching towards her audibly beating heart, an explosion and gunfire can be heard.

    Outside, the Red Army is attacking the Japanese. Inside the temple Hóu and Mao run in, side by side, fighting their way through the Japanese soldiers and ninjas.

    Marion’s imminent execution is paused as Oni directs the fighting. The soldiers holding Indy leave him and run to join the fighting. Meanwhile, Willie escapes his bonds and slips back into the shadows. He’s soon untying Indy’s bonds.

    Oni descends again upon Marion, but the newly freed Indy attacks him. They fight, but Indy is barely holding his own against the supernaturally empowered Oni. Willie runs to rescue Marion as the hero and villain fight. Indy and Oni struggle and wrestle and Oni’s hand moves towards Indy’s heart. Just as Indy is about to get his heart ripped out, Hóu appears, and picks up and throws Oni. “About time you showed up, Short Round,” says the battered Indy.

    Hóu and Oni now fight, both using moves from Hóu-Quán, or “Monkey Kung Fu”, but Hóu is unstoppable, and soon rips the mask from the screaming Oni and puts it on himself. The mask merges with his face in a dazzling effects display.

    Now Hóu is the Monkey King, and (as is now clear) was all along. He visibly rips Oni’s still beating heart from his chest, which transforms in a blaze of fire into a glowing peach. He lifts it to his mouth and the scene cuts to the reunited Indy, Marion, and Willie, who cringe in reaction. Chin dripping with glowing liquid, Hóu/Monkey King then vanishes, laughing, in a flash of light.

    After the battle, Indy, Marion, and Willie bid farewell to Mao and his fighters and head back towards non-occupied China on an ox cart. Indy exposits that with the Monkey King free in the world again, times are about to become “Interesting”.

    Marion asks how they’ll explain the situation to Lau Che and Indy replies that they’ll “tell him the truth. Hóu stole the mask and disappeared.”

    “What next, then?” asks Willie.

    “Well,” says Indy, “This war isn’t going to end by itself. I’d say the people of China could use some help.”

    The Indiana Jones theme plays as they ride off into the setting sun.

    Production

    Production on “Indiana Jones 2” began in the summer of 1981 almost immediately following the success of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Early brainstorming sessions including George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, Kathleen Kennedy, and Lisa Henson (then an intern for Lucas) discussed a variety of scenarios that eventually resulted in a film treatment from Henson titled “The Mask of the Monkey King”. This treatment was edited by Lucas and Spielberg and handed in 1982 to Lawrence Kasdan, who’d written Raiders of the Lost Ark and The Empire Strikes Back. Kasdan produced a script titled Mask of the Monkey King that contained and expanded upon the set pieces from the Henson treatment while adding structure and character arcs.

    This script reportedly did not include the heart-ripping scenes and was generally lighter in tone than the eventual script. In 1983 George Lucas, who was going through a painful divorce, asked Kasdan to revise the script with these darker elements. Kasdan felt the additions were “mean spirited and ugly” and politely turned down the request. Lucas instead handed the script to Willard Huyck and Gloria Katz to script-doctor, and the darker elements were added. They also added the nickname “Short Round” for Hóu, based upon Huyck's dog, whose name was in turn derived from a character in The Steel Helmet.

    Production ran into difficulty fairly quickly, with the People’s Republic of China at first refusing to allow filming in the country, which was at the time only starting to open up to the world under Deng Xiaoping. Associate producer Lisa Henson reportedly contacted Joan Ganz Cooney of the Children’s Television Workshop, who had recently arranged a Big Bird in China special, coincidentally also featuring the Monkey King as a character. They reportedly arranged back-door contacts through the earlier production and got the picture greenlit.

    Even with this arrangement made, the PRC insisted on several changes. Most notable of these was the removal of all portrayals of magic, the supernatural, and superstition, leading to the infamous “Chinese Release” version of the film. They also insisted on adding in scenes with Mao Zedong, and insisted that the portrayal of Mao be both positive and heroic. Finally, the planned motorcycle chase scene atop the Great Wall intended for the intro was deleted, as the Chinese considered this cultural desecration. Instead, they filmed the “battle scene” that introduced antagonist Colonel Oni.

    Filming began in the PRC in June of 1983 with location shoots in Manchuria, Tibet, Xi’an, Three Gorges park, and the Yangtze delta. Other shots were filmed on sound stages at Pinewood Studios and Paramount. Principal photography ended that fall with editing and post-production going into the spring of 1984.

    Differences in the “Chinese Release”

    The Chinese authorities mandated several “changes” to the film before they permitted Amblin and Lucasfilm to film in China. Among these were the addition and sympathetic portrayal of Mao Zedong and his Red Army, the removal of the motorcycle chase scene on the Great Wall, and the removal of any reference to the supernatural as actually existing. This latter resulted in the creation of two versions of the film: one for China, one for wide release.

    In the Chinese version, the mask has no powers. That the Japanese and the Manchukuo Emperor Xuantong believe this legend is portrayed as proof of their superstitious ignorance. The special effects surrounding the sacrifice scenes are removed and the ceremony is played as just a mindless cult performing an empty, superstitious ceremony. Instead of transforming into the Monkey King, Hóu is portrayed as a crazy man who now thinks that he is the Monkey King. And simply runs off, laughing, wearing the mask.

    Differences in the “Taiwan Release”

    The Taiwan release, by comparison, deletes the scenes with Mao Zedong and portrays the Red Army soldiers as being “loyal militias in the service of the legitimate [i.e. Kuomintang] government”. The opening battle scene was also edited to portray the Kuomintang fighters as being more heroic and suggests that the captured prisoner who betrays his fellow soldiers was really a Maoist.

    Differences in the “Japanese Release”

    In the Japanese release, the “blasphemy” and dishonorable action of Colonel Oni was pointed out by lesser officers on occasion and the average Japanese soldiers are portrayed in a more sympathetic light. A scene available only in the Japanese release shows some Japanese officers discussing how to react to Oni’s increasingly rebellious behavior when Oni discovers them and they submit to be executed by him. Furthermore, the name “Yamato Oni” (大和鬼), which could be interpreted as “Japanese Ogre”, was changed to Oniya Mato (おにや まと), which the Japanese audience could tell was referencing and 大和, but also 矢 (arrow) and 的 (target, mark, bullseye). This was read as 鬼矢 的, and thus could be interpreted as both “Ogre of Great Harmony” and “Target of Ogre's Arrow”[6], which resonated with both his self-image and his ultimate fate at the hands of Hóu.

    Deleted Scene

    The original screenplay began with Indy attempting to liberate the urn of Emperor Qin Shi Huan from a group of thuggish looters, culminating in an exciting motorcycle chase across the top of the Great Wall. Eventually, Indy escapes with the urn and makes it back to the camp with Marion and Abner, where the film blends in with the final cut just before the celebration of the urn’s possession and Willie’s introduction. However, Chinese government officials objected to the scene, considering it desecration of a cultural landmark, objecting even to simulating the chase on a Great Wall set. The production team relented, creating the battle scene opening instead.

    Reception, Box Office, and Legacy

    Mask of the Monkey King broke attendance records for the time, earning an astounding $45 million on its opening weekend. It would go on to gross over $340 million worldwide, counting $9 million in revenues from China, one of the first western movies to screen in the People’s Republic.

    Mask of the Monkey King screened to mostly positive reviews, with Siskel and Ebert giving it two thumbs up, but noting that the violence was “probably not appropriate for younger viewers.” Reviews and audiences alike tended to be divided between enjoying the movie and being disturbed by the imagery. It currently has an A- rating from MovieGrade.

    The movie is generally considered a Classic, though consensus considers it one of the weaker films in the Indiana Jones franchise. The film has garnered controversy both at the time of release and more recently, both for its loose interpretation of Chinese legends and the Journey to the West and for its stereotypical portrayal of both the Chinese and Japanese people. It has faced accusations of racism and cultural appropriation, though these accusations are rejected by Lucas and Spielberg. It was also dismissed by many, particularly on the political right, for its sympathetic portrayal of Mao Zedong.

    Trivia

    In an Easter egg for Mandarin speakers, Wu Lì, annoyed with the “Willie” nickname, asks Indy if he should be called “Ēn dì” (恩 地), or, roughly, “benevolent dirt”, a fitting name for an archeologist who takes in orphans!

    The name “Yamato Oni” began simply as “Colonel Oni” in Lisa Henson’s original treatment. Spielberg added the name “Yamato” to it based upon the name of the WW2 Japanese battleship. This led to challenges when the name (大和鬼) effectively translated to “Japanese Ogre”. Thus, the name was changed in the Japanese release to Oniya Mato (おにや まと or 鬼矢 的), and thus could be interpreted as both “Ogre of Great Harmony” and “Target of Ogre's Arrow”.

    Lau Che’s club in Shanghai is named “Club Obi Wan” in reference to George Lucas’ Star Wars films. This parallels a reference in Raiders of the Lost Ark where hieroglyphics of C-3PO and R2-D2 can be seen in the Ark vault. This has led to “shared universe” fan theories.

    Abner Ravenwood’s comment about “Do I look like I know Kung Fu?” is an Easter egg related to the actor David Carradine’s role in the 1970s TV series Kung Fu.

    Several filming locations for the river ride and Hóu Hóngsè temple are now underwater following the completion of the Three Rivers Gorge Dam.

    Actor Pat Morita plays a small role as a Japanese Sergeant.

    Actor George Takei’s bathos-filled “Blasphemy!” has become the source for many “Net Wit[7]” images, alongside fellow Star Trek alum William Shatner’s “Khaaan!”.

    The at times shocking violence of the film, in particular the heart-ripping and implied heart-eating, spurred the development of the 13-and-up “T” for “Teen” rating with the MPAA[8].

    This film was Lisa Henson’s first production credit.




    [1] Anachronism alert! The Terracotta Army was first discovered in 1974.

    [2] And if this all sounds to you like an absolute massacre of Journey to the West, you’re right!

    [3] Good name for an ‘80s synth pop band?

    [4] The actual killing scene is not shown, and instead cuts to Marion’s reaction.

    [5] How’s this for a bad ‘80s gwáilóu “interpretation” of Journey to the West and Chinese legend?

    [6] Fedora-tip to @Damian0358 for this idea.

    [7] We’d call them “memes”.

    [8] Just as Temple of Doom spurred the creation of our timeline’s PG-13 rating.
     
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    '84 Blockbusters
  • Great Scot! The Summer of ’84 was Epic!!
    Hale Hollywood! Netlog, by Henry Hironimus Hale, May 5th, 2004


    As we move in to the summer ’04 movie season this weekend let’s take a moment to look back 20 years to 1984 at what was in my opinion the greatest, most epic summer of iconic movies ever.

    Romancing_the_stone.jpg


    May started with Romancing the Stone, an adventure-romance produced by and starring Michael Douglas, costarring Kathleen Turner, written by Diane Thomas, and directed by Marvin J. Chomsky[1]. This film was a fun adventurous romp through Mexico as Romance Novelist Joan Wilder finds herself thrown together with a disreputable scoundrel Jack T. Colton as they search for a hidden treasure and, naturally, fall in love. The film mixes the idealized romantic world of Wilder’s novels with the cynical realism of Colton. It was a smash hit in 1984 and spawned a less impressive sequel, but is largely forgotten today, which is a shame because it is a fun summer popcorn movie. It earned and impressive $115 million against its $10 million budget, which any other year would have made it a super blockbuster, but the summer had only begun.

    Indiana_Jones_and_the_Temple_of_Doom_PosterB.jpg

    Not This...

    Also released that May was Mask of the Monkey King, the second Indiana Jones adventure. Though Romancing the Stone would give it a run for its money, Monkey King would dominate the box office and become the highest grossing movie that year. Mask of the Monkey King would go on to gross an astounding for the time $340 million worldwide. And while it’s controversial today, back in 1984 it was beloved with some arguing it was even better than the first, though few feel that way anymore and most will deny that they felt that way back then. Still, in the summer of ’84 Monkey King was pure gold. Seriously, if you haven’t seen this one, what in the hell is wrong with you?

    Gremlins1.jpg


    Coming up next was Gremlins that June, a PG-rated (would likely be T rated today) Steven Spielberg horror/comedy where the eponymous gremlins wreak havoc upon a small town at Christmas. The effects were awesome for their time and hold up fairly well today. The fuzzy “mogwai” are adorable and the vicious “gremlins” that form when a mogwai eats after midnight were awesomely terrifying. Gremlins was a bloody cool mix of horror, gore, comedy, silliness, black comedy, and fantasy. Seriously, this movie went in so many directions at once that it seems clear that only a maestro of Spielberg’s caliber could make it all work, but work it does. And audiences at the time agreed, earning the piece an excellent $170 million against its $11 million budget on its original 1984[2] run and made another $20 million when re-released in summer of 1985.

    Star_Trek_III_The_Search_for_Spock.png


    June also brought us the latest Star Trek film, Star Trek III: The Search for Spock where, well, Spock returns after dying to save the ship in Star Trek II. Thanks to Planet Ex Machina, Spock’s dead body is brought back to life by the Genesis planet created in the earlier film. Um, decades-old spoiler, I guess? It is mostly memorable for being the first film directed by Leonard Nimoy and, while not a bad flick per se, it lacks much of the excitement of the earlier film. Still, though, it was Trek returned to the big screen, the latest in a long ‘80s run for the venerable Sci-Fi franchise, and had some exciting and even shocking moments, such as the death of Kirk’s son at the hands of the Klingons and the destruction of the USS Enterprise! Um, more decades-old spoilers alert, I guess? Furthermore, Christopher Lloyd’s Klingon Commander Kruge was scenery consumption at its greatest, though even he couldn’t upstage the wonderful Scenery Doomsday Machine that was Ricardo Montalban as Khan. The film’s success at the box office ($87 million against a $16 million budget) proved that The Wrath of Khan was not a fluke, leading to more Trek films and ultimately a new Trek series! But the summer wasn’t done yet.

    Ghostbusters_%281984%29_theatrical_poster.png


    Fantasia Films, a label under Walt Disney Productions, brought us Ghostbusters, a supernatural comedy starring Bill Murray, Eddie Murphy, Dan Ackroyd, and Harold Ramis. The PG rated comedy featured what were for the time cutting edge effects which still hold up rather well. It was fun, it was irreverent, and it was ultimately driven more by the personalities of the stars themselves, four magnificent comedians at the top of their game. Ghostbusters made a good $200 million at the domestic box office and another $50 million or so internationally[3] becoming the second-highest grossing movie in the US that year after Monkey King and became a modern classic.

    Back_to_the_Future.jpg


    And then Fantasia Films and Amblin Entertainment, in partnership this time, did it again! No sooner had Fantasia’s big summer hit Ghostbusters left the number one slot when in rode Back to the Future! The time-travel comedy starred Michael J. Fox in his film debut and John Lithgow[4] as the supporting character of Doc Brown, turned a DeLorean into a time machine, and sent us back to Main Street USA in 1954. From its rockin’ start to its nuclear conclusion[5], it’s exactly the mix of nostalgia, futurism, adventure, and sentimentality that audiences had come to expect from Walt Disney, which makes you wonder why they hid their involvement under the Fantasia label, which they were using at the time for things they didn’t exactly want directly associated with Disney’s child-friendly brand. The film, in addition to saving Marty’s parent’s marriage and, with it, Marty, also saved the careers of Bob Gale and Bob Zemeckis, two promising young filmmakers whose previous films, despite critical acclaim, were box office poison. With positive reviews and word of mouth driving attendance, it was such a breakout success that we soon got to see what happened next when Marty and Doc took us into the far-off future of 2014, a land of flying cars where they “don’t need roads”. Even with the aforementioned films all still lingering in theaters and pulling in cash, Back to the Future made $308 million worldwide against a $23 million budget [6].

    Those numbers should give you an idea just how epic of a year it was for movies. Save for the somewhat forgotten Romancing the Stone, all of these films are considered iconic of the 1980s. They all shared that mix of fantasy, comedy, camp, and horror that are such a hallmark of the era. Two of the films, Gremlins and Monkey King, have the added distinction of being so gory and terrifying that the MPAA, at Spielberg’s urging, developed the T for Teen rating, creating a lasting effect on filmmaking and film viewing. And yet the year wasn’t even over! Because more fun was coming that winter.




    [1] Zemeckis is directing Back to the Future a year earlier in this timeline. Someone else will direct Tank.

    [2] About $20 million less than in our timeline due to additional competition from Back to the Future, which was released in 1985 in our timeline.

    [3] About $20 million less than in our timeline due to Back to the Future cutting into its late summer run.

    [4] Fox was always Zemeckis’s and Gale’s first choice for Marty McFly. They wrote the part with Fox in mind. They temporarily had to go with Eric Stoltz in our timeline when the producers of Family Ties refused to release Fox since Meredith Baxter Birney was on maternity leave and they needed Fox to hold the show together. Here, filming a year earlier, she’s not on maternity leave, so no conflict, so no “Other Marty”. Conversely, the Bobs wanted John Lithgow to play Doc Brown, but he was unavailable for filming in our timeline. Here, he’s quite happy to take the role over the role he took in our timeline of Dr. Emilio Lizardo in Buckaroo Banzai, a role that he was resistant to take in our timeline because it was so far over the top. Instead, the Bobs gets their way, Lithgow plays Doc Brown, and Lizardo is instead played by an unknown actor, in this case one named Michael Richards, a standup comedian who’d done some TV spots. As hard as it is for even me to imagine anyone but Christopher Lloyd in the role, I actually can picture John Lithgow.

    [5] See the original nuclear ending storyboarded here.

    [6] Compare this to our timeline where it faced little summer competition in ’85 (Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome being the biggest threat) and made an incredible $389.1 million against a $19 million budget. The nuclear bomb conclusion (done largely with miniatures) drove the higher production cost.


    *NINJA EDIT 10/5: Added Star Trek III*
     
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    Meta-Discussion: Butterflies vs. Movies
  • Meta-Commentary: My Philosophy on Allo-Historical Entertainment

    As stated under the earlier Meta-commentary on the butterfly effect, entertainment is inherently volatile. There are a million things that have to go right to make something a hit, and a million things that could go wrong to sink it. As Mikey Neumann of “Movies with Mikey” said, “it’s like hitting the bullseye on a dartboard…from space.” The right movie with the right actors and the right director and the right editor at the wrong time equals a film that goes “underappreciated”. A patently crap movie at the exact right time that captures the zeitgeist of the moment can be a hit, only for later viewers to ask “what in the hell did people see in that?”

    It is simplicity itself to turn a hit from our timeline into a flop: the wrong actor in the wrong role, a simple adjustment to the zeitgeist, released at the wrong time against the wrong movie, negative buzz due to circumstance. I could justifiably turn Ghostbusters into a monumental flop and Ishtar into the greatest movie of all time with a few strategically placed butterflies (I considered the latter as a joke, but dropped it due to the huge butterflies it would create in another area). On top of that, even making a movie in the first place is fraught with circumstance and studio politics. A great movie (or TV show) can even get “screwed by the network”, particularly when a new exec takes over and, in a move Robin Williams compared to the new lion killing the prior lion’s cubs, sabotages all of their predecessor’s projects in favor of their own, just to reinforce the myth that it is “their great leadership” that makes a hit and their predecessors “poor leadership” that makes a flop. Clearly the directors, actors, editors, and designers had nothing to do with it, just the magical touch of the studio head’s “strategic brilliance”.

    Every movie or fictional production is walking a tightrope. A look at the production of Stand By Me will reveal what a freaking miracle it was that the movie ever got greenlit and completed. Anything could hypothetically butterfly that film, which, given the number of careers it launched and the way it influenced cinema, would utterly change film in the late 1980s and 1990s. In other words, tiny random butterflies could sink Stand By Me, and with it The Princess Bride and other future Rob Reiner films and TV series, butterfly all of the River Phoenix films to follow, lead to “Leslie Crusher” on Star Trek: The Next Generation (assuming random butterflies don’t kill that outright), and, since Reiner is now not a big name, kill Castle Rock Entertainment and with it Seinfeld and all the monumental butterflies to American comedy that come with that!

    In short, butterfly Stand By Me and you’re quickly in the Fiction Zone. Same for some other influential productions of the time. Could, say, Back to the Future have been a flop in this timeline? Absolutely. But then what? Michael J. Fox’s movie career is probably toast in that case. He’d be typecast as Alex Keaton and be another one of those “where are they now/remember this guy?” stories. No sequels, no iconic DeLorean (a completely forgotten dead-end car in this hypothetical world), no Rick & Morty…in other words a complete dystopia hardly fit for human existence. The same can be said for Ghostbusters.

    These and several other influential productions (such as Star Wars) are what I think of as “Keystone Productions”. Remove them, and the changes come so fast that you’re in the Fiction Zone in a matter of years. And as I stated before in the discussion on The Butterfly Effect, I want to keep things in the Plausible Butterfly Zone and out of the Fiction Zone for as long as possible, both for the sake of my readers and for the sake of my own sanity.

    And thus, here is my central philosophy on allo-historical fiction: if it’s a) the same people making it more or less, b) comes out at about the same time, and c) there are no direct butterflies that would affect things otherwise, then I will assume a performance on par with our timeline. Is this completely realistic? No. But it maintains the verisimilitude of the alternate world. In some cases where there’s an existing franchise with a built-in fandom (e.g. Star Wars) this is more plausible than with a totally original production, but even then, a lot can change.

    There’s some historical precedent to support this hypothesis. Even hit movies can have jarring flaws (Keanu Reeves’ accent in Bram Stoker’s Dracula) and even infamously disastrous movies can have unforgettably great moments (Raul Julia’s scenery devouring awesomeness as M. Bison in Street Fighter), so there’s even some leeway here for a hit to stay a hit even with a spanner thrown in the works or for crap to stay crap despite having a great blessing bestowed upon it. As hard as it is to imagine Back to the Future without Christopher Lloyd, replacing him with John Lithgow, who the part was originally written for, probably doesn’t sink the film for audiences (honestly if I had to choose a replacement for Lloyd in the role it would be Lithgow). Replacing him with Sylvester Stallone, on the other hand, might.

    So, to reiterate from what I said earlier, I will stick to direct butterflies for the most part and, unless I can identify a specific butterfly that changes something, then I will assume “historical inertia” is at play. I may even invoke “second order butterflies” that drive things back towards our timeline in certain respects, such as for “Keystone Productions”, if only to keep things in the Plausible Butterfly Zone and out of the Fiction Zone.

    And then there’s the overarching goals of this timeline and the main plot thread: Jim Henson at Disney. This entire timeline is here to investigate what would happen if you threw Jim Henson into the volatile mix of the late Disney Dark Age. There are places to explore culturally, economically, and philosophically that are the real aims of this timeline rather than just an excuse to chase butterflies. If these two tentpole blockbusters flopped, then the overall goals of this timeline are gone. Disney stock would plummet and another buyout attempt would be imminent. Henson, who pushed for these two movies, would lose his job for sure. Pop culture would be in the Fiction Zone. Timeline effectively over.

    So, yea, having both films be hits is not necessarily the most absolutely plausible scenario, but the goal here is to entertain and explore, in particular explore the main concept of this timeline. I don’t want to drive things completely into Alien Space Bat Country (the goal remains verisimilitude) but I also don’t want to drive things into the Fiction Zone too soon. It’s a balancing act, and I admit up front that there’s a real chance I’ll screw it up at some point, at least for some of my readers. If you’re one of those readers who’s pushed past the point of willing suspension of disbelief, then my apologies. I’m trying to cast a wide net here and not just make it a timeline enjoyable by an ever-shrinking group, but in the words of a forgotten ‘70s song: “you can’t please everyone so you’ve got to please yourself.”

    Wow…as a kid that song didn’t seem so much like a double-entendre.

    So, with all that at the back of your minds, let’s continue on with A Hippie in the House of Mouse (dramatic organ music on backorder).
     
    Jack Lindquist III: Disney Rocks!
  • Chapter 20: When Disney Started to Rock
    Excerpt from In the Service of the Mouse: A Memoir, by Jack Lindquist


    Entertainment has always been a mainstay of the Disney resorts. Live shows, bands, dancers, walkaround shows, you name it! And up until the 1980s that music was pretty much what Walt would have been willing to be publicly heard listening to. That meant a lot of old-timey jazz, a lot of folk & country, and a lot of that ‘50s/’60s bubblegum pop like you’d hear from the Mouseketeers.

    One thing you certainly didn’t hear was an electric guitar shredding power chords (that’s a thing, right?). So, when Bambi Moe from Disney Music came to us with a rock & roll band for the Space Mountain stage, we were understandably reluctant. But she and producer Mike Post brought us this group that was essentially Kiss crossed with Star Wars. At first, they didn’t even have a name set in stone yet (Starfire? SQWAD? Solar Flare? Space Jam?), but for whatever reason they settled eventually on the nonsense word Halyx[1].

    c01f372798abb02777fb376c78cda26883fa3603.jpg

    (Image source “cinemablend.com”)

    This was in 1981, and George Lucas’s space opera had totally taken over the world. Star Wars 2 [SIC] had just come out and was on everyone’s lips. And anything Sci-Fi you did would inevitably be compared to Star Wars. Even Ron Miller’s The Black Hole, which was in production years before the Millennium Falcon took flight, was affected, becoming slightly less The Poseidon Adventure in space and slightly more like Star Wars! I guess that Bambi figured if you were going to get compared to Star Wars anyway, you might as well just file off the serial numbers and make something Star Wars in all but name!

    Even so, Halyx was weird. The lead singer Lora Mumford truly was talented, with a powerful but beautiful voice. She was also just that right mix of Girl Next Door and Rock & Roll, a “punk rock Snow White” as Mike put it. They dressed her up like space Pat Benatar. Her husband Thom Miller, meanwhile, dressed like a robot and played the keyboard from a converted maintenance cart that looked like a small space ship. They had a Chewbacca [SIC] playing bass, a little Yoda [SIC] playing bongos, and…you get the picture. We set them up to play at the Space Mountain stage in the Summer of ’81 and they built up a small but loyal following of mostly teenage fans.

    As a professional “hype man”, to use the vernacular, people always ask me what it takes to become “famous”. What is the “secret” to breaking out? And the only honest answer that I can give is dumb luck. Be seen by the right people with the right connections at the right time. The truth is that some of the most talented musicians in the world can languish in obscurity for decades while some hack with three chords to his repertoire becomes an international superstar. And it is entirely possible if not likely that Halyx might have played over the summer and sold some albums through Disney and largely went about their lives. But they got lucky: John Henson was a fan.

    John was around 15 at the time and he and his sister Heather had the run of Disneyland as children of an executive, much like Dianne, Sharon, and Roy did back when it first opened. And back in ’81 there weren’t all that many options attractive to teens at Disney, but Space Mountain was one of them. John and Heather used to go to the Halyx concerts and while neither was one of those “front row fanatics” dancing up front, they enjoyed the show. I think John may have had a crush on Lora and, at first, I thought that Heather wanted to be Lora, but when Bambi took them backstage Heather, then-11 or so, mostly wanted to talk to the effects guys and see how the lights and pyrotechnics worked! A chip off of the old block there.

    So, since John liked them, Jim checked them out. He and Ron had signed off on the band, who were completely off-brand for Disney at the time with their long hair and loud music (the band members used to get stopped by security for breaking the dress code!). I’m still a bit surprised to this day that they signed off on “Jail Bait”, but I digress. Jim checked out a show and agreed that Lora in particular had real talent and stage presence and that there was certainly a need for more teenage entertainment at Disney, which had a bad rap with the youth at the time. I went with him to the concert and noticed that the fans were so starved for Halyx merchandise that they’d started making their own and sharing it with the band!

    “These guys have potential,” Jim told Bambi and me. Bambi hoped that we could get Lora signed with a major label like Geffen rather than just distribute them like a novelty act under Disney[2], but Jim thought that Disney and Halyx had a future together. When the summer concert season came to an end Jim, Bambi, and [Disney Records executive] Gary Krisel produced a couple of music videos which he played on a special Tomorrowland-inspired episode of Disney’s World of Magic in the fall of ’81. The videos got a good deal of fan mail, and a nasty letter from George Lucas! Jim and George eventually worked out a deal behind the scenes where George got an interest in the sales and some limits on merchandise and spinoffs, even though they remained something that was not Star Wars but their own universe. Lora and Thom even did the singing and keyboard work [for Sy Snootles] in Star Wars 3 [SIC] as a sort of nod, and Halyx posters have found their way into the background of Star Wars productions over the years, the text now in that made up Star Wars language [aurebesh][3].

    5a462570-f083-11ea-bd09-169d6aad6cdc

    (Image from Yahoo Music)

    And so, Marty Sklar and I put together a team to build that new not-Star Wars world of Halyx with the usual Disney attention to detail. Now the band were actually the rag-tag crew of the star runner “Halyx”, the fastest ship in the galaxy and shaped roughly like the double-arrow H that was the band logo, which ironically made it somewhat resemble the Tie fighters [SIC] the bad guys flew in Star Wars. The crew was (naturally) on the run from the Vader-like Lord Thraal, dictator of the Galactic Dominion, whose menacing masked face would be projected upon clouds of steam above the band like an evil Great and Powerful Oz and make menacing threats. Since Mumford isn’t the most rock & roll or sci fi name, Lora was now Lora Ranger, captain of the Halyx and last of the “Galactic Rangers” who once maintained justice and freedom in the galaxy before the evil Dominion took over. She’d escaped from a Dominion prison planet along with Chewbacca-like Baharnoth (bassist Roger Freeland), whose noble savage race of aliens had been enslaved by the Dominion for manual labor, the mischievous and mystical alien Tolaras (percussionist/performer/acrobat Tony Coppola) and the smuggler and maintenance worker Brycas (Brian Lucas, the drummer, no relation to George). Meanwhile, Dominion assassin Brogo the Mad (lead guitarist Bruce Gowdy) was dispatched to find and terminate Lora, but betrayed the Dominion and joined forces with her, bringing with him deprogrammed Tactical Heavy Operations (Mechanized) cyborg #319 (THOM-319) (Keyboardist Thom Miller). Together, they and the rest of the “crew” (backup singers) live out their adventures in an ongoing “rock space opera”, forever on the run, undermining Lord Thraal and the Dominion.

    Only the early ‘80s could have created Halyx. And only Disney could have made them work. They were the right mix of odd, sincere, campy, and rebellious for the era, anti-establishment enough for the teens, innocent enough for their parents. We released an album under the Buena Vista Music label (with the infamous “Jail Bait” not included) and had a few concerts around the LA Basin. We produced some shirts and other simple merchandise. Soon enough, the combination of the videos playing on World of Magic and then getting picked up by the fledgling MTV led to growing sales, so we pushed farther, distributing the album further, launching a seven-city US tour, and even having some tie-in comics made by Gold Key and some other merchandise (but no toys as a stipulation of the deal with George Lucas). The album went gold at one point with a growing, mostly teenage fan base.

    The summer of ’82 saw overflowing performances at Disneyland and EPCOT Center. Then we sent them to Tokyo Disneyland for a week, and the Japanese went nuts[4]. Halyx was charting in the top ten! The “week in Tokyo” turned into a multi-city tour. By the summer of ’83 and the release of Star Wars 3, Halyx was on the verge of being a sensation in the US and Canada and was a sensation in Japan. The second album sold well. We played them on the new Disney Channel and sent them to do interviews with the Today Show and the like. While they only once broke the top 40 in the US, they remained huge in Japan and remain popular there today. Toei even approached us in ’83 about licensing the characters for a cartoon! George put the kibosh on any US cartoons, but the Japanese cartoon was a hit, with many Japanese telling me that they “preferred Halyx to Star Wars” as kids.

    Alas, all good things come to an end. Lora knew she had the makings of a real rock star, and soon broke up with both Thom and the band in 1984. The band lived on with a new lead singer, Michie Nakatani, the Shonen Knife bassist, the idea being that she was some kind of Dr. Who style regeneration by Lora Ranger. By this time Halyx’s core audience was growing up and moving on and the whole “progressive rock” thing they were riding had slipped out of the public eye in favor of new forms of music. But with Michie filling in, they squeezed out another two albums and three good years touring in Japan before they called it quits.

    Lora, meanwhile, changed her stage name to Lara Whitehall and formed a new all-girl band in the Mötley Crüe mold called Sunset Strip, which were occasionally called the “Sunset Strippers” due to their revealing outfits. We launched them under the new Hyperion Music label and they went on to moderate success in the US and Europe. She made “Jail Bait” into a #8 hit. When Lora and her bandmates got caught with some illegal substances in the car in 1987, inevitably the press caught on and we were deluged with less-than-clever headlines like “Disney Diva Down with Drugs”. Needless to say, this only helped her rock career. We managed to get them all back together in 2001 for a 20th Anniversary show, but that was essentially the end of the Halyx story.

    I remember Halyx for a lot of reasons. They were the first Disney band to break out of the clean-cut mid-century mold. They were the first Disney musicians to make a real splash beyond the parks in over a decade. They were a “story band” with comics tie-ins and other merchandise. And they marked the first new music production from Disney Music that wasn’t a read-along record, movie sound track, or Mickey Mouse Disco style novelty album in far too long to remember.

    But mostly, I remember Halyx because they were truly one of a kind, and a unique moment in Disney’s history.




    [1] Ersatz Storm Trooper Helmet tip to @Plateosaurus for bringing Halyx into the picture. And to Ken Perjurer at Defunctland for reminding us all about them.

    [2] This is what they tried in our timeline. Lora initially was signed by Warner Music with a big advance, but they never pulled the trigger and she got frustrated and left LA, abandoning the music scene.

    [3] As I see it Lucas wouldn’t be too keen on canonizing someone else’s vision into his world, but he’d likely agree to some Easter eggs for the fans.

    [4] @nick_crenshaw82 called it!
     
    Nothin' but Staaaarr Waaars!!
  • Remembering Star Wars, Part III, Legacy of the Jedi (1983)
    Nostalgia was Way Better when I was a Kid Netsite, June 21st, 1997


    Oh yea, Star Wars! Who doesn’t like Star Wars? And with the long-awaited next trilogy coming to theaters now is the time to remember those original films of our youth. So, as we barrel head first into the long-awaited return of new Star Wars stories to the big screen (admit it, you’re already camping out for tickets!), it’s worth looking back at the film that ended it all. So today brings us to Part III of our nostalgia-driven trip into the Galaxy Far Far Away, Star Wars Episode VI: Legacy of the Jedi.

    First off, let’s address the fact that this is seen today as the weakest of the films. I get why and I’ll address it. Most fans today look back on it as a huge disappointment after The Empire Strikes Back. But ironically audiences loved it at the time as a “pleasant return to form” following the “depressing and boring” Empire[1]. “If all the fighting is on planets, not in the stars, then why don’t they call it “Planet Wars”, huh?” Nostalgia can be blind. I should know, right? So, let’s go down through the plot and address what we love and don’t love about this third installment.
    First off, let’s talk about the production. What happened? Why did it happen? What about those rumors of Wookies on Sicemon or Ewaaks as Lizard Men? What about Gary Kurtz and his stories of a darker film and the lost sister Nellith? Well, it all starts in ’81 with the screening of The Empire Strikes Back. The truth is that George hated the film. “It’s too good!” he reportedly told Kurtz. George’s vision for a fun, fast-paced, family friendly adventure series based on the cheesy old King Features serials of his youth was, thanks to the “three Ks” of Kurtz, Kershner, and Kasdan, now a cerebral drama with shocking twists, heartfelt romance, and real personal stakes. The horror! Kurtz claims that the original idea for “Episode VI” had a bittersweet ending with Luke heading off into the sunset leaving Queen Leia to try and restore a shattered galaxy. But Lucas wanted “to sell more toys”. Or so Kurtz tells us[2].
    Somewhere in this Kurtz left the production in what Mark Hamill compared to “Mommy and Daddy getting divorced” and Howard Kazanjian came on board, as did Lisa Henson as an intern. George Lucas wrote his first draft for “Return of the Jedi” in February of ‘81[3], later briefly named “Revenge of the Jedi” at the suggestion of Kazanjian, as Kazanjian noted that it was a stronger title, avoided confusion with other “Return of” films being released at the time, and didn’t spoil the fact that the Jedi, well, return. But Lucas insisted that “Jedi don’t act in revenge”[4] and thus after a brainstorming session he took Lisa Henson’s idea and changed it to “Legacy of the Jedi”, a bit of a mouthful but kind of epic and doesn’t spoil the ending.
    Much of the final story is in this first draft: Vader, Jerjerrod, and the Emperor, the rescue of Han (whose fate was left unknown in the last film until Kazanjian managed to talk Harrison Ford back into the series[5]), the raid on the green moon of Had Abbadon, the rebels being assisted by the “Ewaks”, Luke confronting Vader in the Emperor’s throne room, and the happy ending.
    Two-Death-Stars.jpg

    Two Death Stars are better than O-one! (Image source “scriptshadow.net”)

    It also had two half-completed Death Stars, Obi-Wan’s and Yoda’s Force Ghosts directly interacting with the real world and even returning to life, regular references to the “Netherworld”, and a complex plot involving the rebels building two laser cannons on the green moon of Sicemon with one to destroy the communications array and one to destroy the force field protecting the two half-built Death Stars. The details are fuzzy on what happened next production-wise, but “story conferences” involving George, Kazanjian, director Lamont Johnson[6], and writer Lawrence Kasdan caused the story to evolve into its present form, with intern Lisa Henson taking notes and reportedly tossing out ideas as well. Kasdan and Ford reportedly lobbied hard to kill off Han Solo, but George refused, allegedly because “dead Han toys don’t sell well.” The “Ewaks” were discussed, reportedly starting life as half-sized Wookies (and no, Wookies were never seriously considered, that’s a vestigial remnant of an early draft of A New Hope[7]). An old Kurtz-era idea had them as scary lizard-people (hence that persistent rumor and ultimate appearance of the Lizard-like Saasala among the raiders). Lisa Henson supposedly suggested something more Lemur-like, noting that animatronics like her father’s team had developed for The Dark Crystal could bring them to life. How the “raiders” idea appeared no one really knows. Kurtz later suggested that the diversity of aliens from the raiders, cute and scary alike, was primarily intended to add to the number of toys on the market.
    Anyway, enough of the sausage making, let’s taste the sausage. Our film begins a little post-Empire. The opening crawl tells us how the rebellion has stalled. The Rebels have recently won a critical victory over the Empire in the Battle of Corellia, opening the way for a direct assault against the Imperial capital of Had Abbadon, the City Planet. But the city planet is protected by a force field and the Imperial Fleet, rendering an assault suicide. Amid the ensuing stalemate, General Leia has discovered the location of Han Solo on Tatooine and Luke has agreed to mount a daring rescue.

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    Had Abbadon concept art by Ralph McQuarie, c1982 (Image source “hishgraphics.com”)

    This leads us to the City Planet of Had Abbadon, a name roughly translating to “had a disaster” or “had an apocalypse” (subtle, George). We first go to the Executor, Vader’s flagship super star destroyer, where a shuttle lands delivering Grand Moff Jerjerrod, who has orders to escort Vader to the Emperor himself on Had Abbadon. They exchange subtle threats and Vader goes with Jerjerrod and we get our first views of both Had Abbadon and the lava-filled hellscape of the Imperial Throne Room far below the surface. There we see the twisted appearance of Emperor Palpatine for the first time (not counting the hologram from the earlier film). Palpatine admonishes Vader for his growing weakness compared with the growing power of Luke and orders him to kill Luke, but Vader expresses plans to turn Luke to the Dark Side. Palps calls him a fool and force-chokes him, so Vader bows and swears to do his bidding and leaves. But we get our first twist when Palps orders Jerjerrod to accompany and spy on Vader, saying “I foresee that he shall betray me. If he can’t serve me, then perhaps young Skywalker will.”

    This wipes to Tatooine where C3PO and R2-D2 travel to Jabba’s Palace and play a hologram of Luke to Jabba. Luke is now calling himself a Jedi Knight and announces his plans to negotiate the release of Han Solo, still frozen in carbonite. Later, a bounty hunter appears, who has captured Chewbacca and plans to sell him to Jabba, but is later revealed to be Leia in disguise as she frees Han from the carbonite. But she is captured and imprisoned as Jabba’s new slave girl in a striptacular costume that set fan boy puberty ahead 5 years and the portrayal of women in Science Fiction back 20. Not that 12-year-old me was complaining at the time. Luke arrives, Jabba throws him to the Rankor, he kills the Rankor, and now he, Han, and Chewie are sent to the Pit of Saurac for execution. Along the way on the journey to the Pit, Luke is contacted through the force by Vader, who tries again to tempt Luke to join him to slay the Emperor and rule the Galaxy together, but Luke refuses and tries instead to tempt Vader back to the light. Luke and company arrive at the Pit and the execution commences, but Luke and R2 have a surprise and R2 launches a new light sabre to Luke, who leads the exciting clash to defeat Jabba. Leia strangles Jabba with her own chain, Boba Fett is sent flying into the Pit to certain doom (and certain resurrection in the Expanded Universe), and the Good Guys escape in the Falcon unhurt.

    Back in the Falcon, Luke communicates with Yoda through the force[8], but Yoda is old and weak. Luke asks for guidance on Vader, asking why Obi-Wan hid the truth from him, but Yoda tells him that he ordered Obi-Wan not to tell him because Luke “wasn’t yet ready”. Yoda warns Luke of the power of attachments and tells him he must set aside his feelings for his effectively “dead” father because he must confront and destroy Vader, as is “his destiny”. “But what if I fail?” asks Luke. “Then the Other must take your place,” says Yoda. “Leia![9]” says Luke. “I sensed the power in her!” “And hidden you must keep that power, even from her, especially from Vader and the Emperor. Betray her your thoughts must not, or all will be lost.” Yoda then passes away and fades out of existence on Dagobah, only to briefly appear before Luke on the Falcon as a Force Ghost. “Confront Vader you must,” he says. “Protect the secret, or all hope lost will be!” before fading away, seemingly for good.
    Meanwhile, the Falcon makes it back to the Rebel fleet where Mon Mothma reveals that Bothan spies have handed the Rebellion intelligence on the secret location of the Imperial shield generator on the green sanctuary moon of Sicemon that protects Had Abbadon as well as an Imperial code to get past the defensive perimeter. Furthermore, they have received notice that the Imperial fleet is leaving for Malastare with plans to outflank and ambush of Rebels, leaving Had Abbadon unguarded. A small team led by Han, Luke, and Leia will go to the green moon in a stolen Imperial shuttle with a small raiding force to capture and blow up the generator in time for the Rebel Fleet to appear out of hyperspace and seize Had Abbadon, capture the Emperor, and end the Empire in one fell swoop.

    Meanwhile, Vader and the fleet leave Had Abbadon for Malastare as “the Emperor orders”. Grand Moff Jerjerrod spies on Vader and finds that he’s planning to enlist his son and betray and replace Palpatine as the Emperor, and is enlisting other Imperial officers to join him. Vader senses Jerjerrod’s duplicity and force chokes him to death. Vader then tells the fleet to stand by for a return to Had Abbadon, his plans opaque.

    Luke, Han, Leia, and the team travel to Sicemon using the stolen code, but Luke can sense the Emperor, and feels an invitation to join him. He tells everyone he’s “endangering the mission”, but they tell him that they need him. They have mere hours to capture and destroy the shield generator before the fleet arrives and he is their greatest fwarrior. Sicemon is revealed as a globe of green getting slowly “devoured” by a spreading gray mechanistic blur of urbanization as the Empire slowly transforms the green moon into city. As the shuttle lands, Han warns them all to not stray too far from the group. Siccemon is being transformed via slave labor, and many of the alien slaves have escaped to join the primitive “Ewaaks” that are the moon’s native species, creating “bands of savage raiders who kill outsiders on sight.” While on the march they scare up two Imperial Scouts, so Luke and Leia pursue on speeder bikes and defeat the scouts, but Leia is thrown off and encounters an initially hostile young lemur-like Ewaak named Wicket, but befriends him.

    Luke returns without Leia to the group, where Han and Luke regretfully choose to go forward with the mission without her since time is short. But Chewy sets off a trap and several of them are captured by the “raiders”, which consist of various species, primarily the lemur-like Ewaaks as well as some savage lizard-like Saasala, creepy froglike Gorps, some big troll-like Grurntaaks, and other scary aliens (each sold separately). The crew are taken off to the village to be sacrificed and supposedly eaten, but then Chewy recognizes another Wookie among them, who is an old friend who was lost and enslaved by the Empire decades ago. Leia is also there, now in a more primitive linen dress.

    The crew makes common cause with the Ewaaks and raiders to destroy the generator, but Luke senses that he must leave. “Vader will be here soon,” he says. “But he’s out in the Malastare system with the Imperial fleet!” says Han. “He will be here soon. I must go, or all we have worked for will fail,” says Luke, and wanders off. Leia follows and confronts him and she can sense he has more that he wants to say to her, but he only tells her that “If anything happens to me, you are the last hope for the Galaxy,” and leaves. The Force Ghost of Obi-Wan then confronts Luke, warns him that Vader cannot be turned, and tell him that it is time to face Vader alone. “I know,” Luke says, now grown beyond what Obi-Wan can teach him. Luke then wanders to where a group of Scouts confront him. He surrenders without a fight.

    The next day the Rebels make their way to the shield generator and capture it with just minutes before the Rebel Fleet will appear out of hyperspace. Lando and Ackbar lead the force that soon pops out of hyperspace, but they discover their comms are being jammed, but that would mean “It’s a Trap”! The shields are still up around Had Abbadon and Vader’s fleet soon pops back out of hyperspace. The two fleets engage in battle while Lando hopes that the team will take down the shield “soon”. On the green moon, the Ewaaks and Raiders scatter just seconds before an entire Imperial regiment with AT-ST walkers and other vehicles appear out of the forest and Han, Leia and the crew are captured, Han dryly noting “Some help they were.”

    Luke is now being held at an Imperial base awaiting a shuttle to take him to the Emperor, but instead Vader appears in the shuttle. Luke verbally confronts Vader, who makes note that Luke has constructed his own light sabre, completing his training. Luke tries to convince Vader to join him to overthrow the Emperor and restore the Republic, having “sensed the good in him”, but Vader says that it is “too late” for him, but that he will take Luke to see the Emperor, where Luke “must choose [his] destiny”.

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    Imperial throne room concept art by Ralph McQuarie, c1982 (Image source “milnersblog.com”)

    Luke is taken by Vader to the hellscape of the Imperial throne room where the Emperor tempts Luke to join the dark side. Palps reveals that he knew about the Rebel fleet all along, for he was the one who leaked the plans. He summons a hologram that shows the Rebel fleet under assault. Palps reveals that Luke’s friends on the green moon have walked into a trap, and then reveals that Luke “will now see that Had Abbadon is far from defenseless!” as defensive cannons based on Death Star technology open up on the surface of the city planet and start to decimate the Rebel fleet. Lando orders the fleet to engage the Imperial fleet at close range to “get away from those cannons”.

    Back in the throne room Palps now displays Luke’s light saber and tempts him to “strike him down” and come to the dark side. With the fleet dying, Luke relents to his fear and anger and attacks, but is instead engaged by Vader.

    Back on the green moon the Ewaaks and raiders, led by Chewie and other Wookies, now return in greater numbers and attack the Imperials with a combination of stolen weapons and primitive weapons and traps in a battle that veers between slapstick and horror show. Han and Leia break free and now there are three fights: on the moon, in space, and in the throne room.

    In space the Executor is badly damaged and crashes into the under-construction part of Sicemon in a big explosion. In the throne room Luke hides from Vader, but his thoughts betray him and Vader learns of “the Princess!” adding “I could almost sense her great power!” and vows that if Luke won’t turn to the dark side then “perhaps she will!” Luke flies into a rage and overpowers Vader with pure hate, cutting off his hand. Palps tells Luke to strike down Vader and replace him at his side, but Luke refuses and tosses away his light saber, “a Jedi, like my father before me.” “So be it, Jedi,” sneers Palps, who hits Luke with lightning from his fingers.

    On the moon with the help of the Ewaaks and raiders, Han and Leia, the latter injured, defeat the Imperial forces and set the charges, blowing up the shield generator. In space Lando detects that the shields are down, and leads a flight of ships to destroy the Death Star like cannons and save the Rebel fleet.

    Back in the throne room, now shaking with the hits of the Rebel bombardment, Luke cries out to his father in pain. Vader betrays Palpatine, throwing him into the lava below, but is himself mortally wounded by the lightning. Luke removes the mask so his father Anniken [SIC] can “see him with his own eyes,” per his request. Luke tries to save him, but Anniken tells Luke that “he already has” and then dies[10]. Luke allows Anniken’s body to slip into the lava, where it floats and burns briefly like a Viking funeral before being consumed.
    With the Emperor dead, the remaining Imperial fleet retreats. Luke returns to the surface where there is a worldwide celebration of the fall of the Empire. He’s soon reunited with his friends in time for a big celebration, where the Force Ghosts of Obi-Wan, Yoda, and (surprise) Anniken Skywalker look on.

    And thus ended the original trilogy. Today there’s plenty of controversy among the fandom about this film. Many who loved the Ewaaks as kids fucking hate them now and claim that they always did. Much of the Ewaak hate undoubtedly comes from the marketing blitz that came later, including the cheesy made for TV movies and the animated series, the latter of which honestly wasn’t nearly as bad as everyone seems to recall it was in hindsight, claiming in bad faith that they “never watched it” as kids (liars!). But several scenes from the film like the throne room scene and space battle are considered epic classics of the series. The ILM film effects and Creature Shop, erm, creature effects were awesome. Jabba was brought to brilliant life. Certainly, those lizard-like raider aliens were nightmare juice incarnate. And Slave Leia has remained the go-to fetish for geeks, even as Carrie Fischer has been uncompromising in her negative opinions about it. While generally considered the weakest of the three films today, it was seen as a pleasant return to the “fun” of the first installment when it came out.

    Whatever your personal take, there’s no doubt that Legacy of the Jedi was a satisfying enough conclusion to the story of Luke Skywalker’s rise as the galaxy’s newest Jedi and featured brilliant turns such as the redemption of Anniken, the end of the Empire, and the rescue of Han.

    But I don’t have to tell you that.





    [1] This was the attitude in our timeline too. Lots of people actually hated the “I am your Father” twist and were sure Vader was lying. By the way The Empire Strikes Back in this timeline is essentially identical to our timeline since production began prior to the point of departure and there’re no obvious butterflies.

    [2] It’s not entirely clear how much of what Kurtz claims is true or whether it was what “he” wanted rather than George. Either way, nothing shy of something major happening to George Lucas in ’81 is going to bring about a “Kurtz cut” of the film.

    [3] Outlined in Kaminski’s The Secret Histrory of Star Wars and in seven parts on the Star Wars Theory YouTube channel starting here.

    [4] Lucas always intended to name it “Return” and was only briefly convinced by Kazanjian to change it to “Revenge”.

    [5] As in our timeline. I considered having Ford refuse and butterfly the Jabba set piece, with Lando filling in as the lovable rogue, but then there’d be so many more butterflies.

    [6] Famous as a TV director, in particular The Twilight Zone. In our timeline he instead went on to direct the 3D B-Movie and Mad Max rip-off Space Hunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone, a film I saw as a kid and honestly really liked and is actually quite well directed even if the editing sucks. Jedi instead went to Richard Marquand, another mostly TV director who is a competent workhorse director, but not on anyone’s list of great auteurs.

    [7] Contrary to later “common knowledge”, there was never a serious plan to make Wookies the main creatures to assist the Rebels and the first rough draft by Lucas specifically calls out small, furry “Ewaks”. This misnomer likely comes from the early drafts of “The Star Wars” where the rebels enlist “primitive Wookies” to fly some spaceships against the Death Star.

    [8] The trip to Dagobah was added in our timeline by Richard Marquand, who felt that the trip was critical to wrapping up the dilemma from the earlier film. Here, the dilemma was dealt with in the Yoda Force Ghost appearance from the First Draft to keep the plot more focused.

    [9] My research indicates that the “Other” mentioned in The Empire Strikes Back was originally the sister Nellith, who would have featured heavily in the Sequel Trilogy, but George Lucas, burned out on Star Wars in 1981 (it was literally taking over his life and destroying his already fraying marriage) made the decision to end Star Wars at 3 episodes (I see little potential to realistically butterfly that at this point in the timeline). Tying up the loose end by making Leia the Sister and Other was the easy way out of the quandary. Here let’s just say that Lamont Johnson, Lawrence Kasdan, and Lisa Henson talk him out of making her his sister both for the cheese factor (it’s a poor follow-up to Vader as Father and has no meaningful foreshadowing) and the obvious squick factor of the unintended incest plot.

    [10] Johnson convinces Lucas to let David Prowse portray Anniken rather than bring in Sebastian Shaw in order “to save time and money”.
     
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    Pay and Charity
  • Disney Announces Executive Pay Raises
    Wall Street Journal, September 4th, 1984


    Burbank – Walt Disney Productions increased compensation for their executive leadership. CEO Ron Miller will now receive $500,000 per year (up from $350,000, one of the lowest pay rates in the industry), Chairman Ray Watson and President/COO Frank Well each will earn $475,000 per year, and CCO and Studio President Jim Henson will receive $450,000 per year. Department Presidents, save for Henson, will each receive $425,000 per year[1]. In addition, very generous stock options have been allocated at up to 400,000 shares, with many analysts seeing the options as a way to help protect the company from future takeover attempts in addition to serving as performance-based incentives. These new pay raises put Disney executive compensation rates on par with similarly sized organizations after decades of having some of the lowest executive rates in the nation. Given the executive team’s successful defense of the company against ACC’s hostile takeover attempt, most on Wall Street see the increases as just compensation after a well-fought campaign.

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    (Image source "medium.com")

    * * *​

    Disney Announces $4 million CTW Endowment
    Wall Street Journal, September 6th, 1984


    Burbank – Today Walt Disney Productions CEO Ron Miller and CCO Jim Henson announced a $4 million yearly endowment to be provided to the non-profit Children’s Television Workshop (CTW), which produces such children’s educational television shows as Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, The Electric Company, and 3-2-1 Contact. In addition, Jim Henson announced that all proceeds developed from Sesame Street licensing and merchandise would henceforth be allocated directly to CTW and that the Henson family and the Muppets workshop would no longer be receiving any profits from them. “Frankly, we’re earning enough,” said Jim Henson, who hoped that the additional liquidity would help support the non-profit CTW, which has been struggling to stay solvent since federal funding ended in 1981. In addition, Henson and the Muppets team will continue to support production and performances on Sesame Street and other CTW productions through the new Open Sesame cooperative, a non-profit spinoff entity separate from both Disney and Henson Arts Holdings and managed by Chairman and President Jane Henson, with all production and operating expenses to be covered by the Disney endowment and all proceeds supporting CTW and other charitable organizations. “We are all extremely grateful to Mr. Miller and to our good friends Jim and Jane Henson, and indeed to all of the people at Disney,” said CTW Chairman and CEO Joan Ganz Cooney. “With this generous endowment, we will be able to continue our mission to support quality children’s education for the foreseeable future.”

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    (Image source "pintrest.com")



    [1] The pay is on par with the raise Miller and the rest received in 1984 in the middle of the takeover attempt by Steinberg, which was interpreted in the press as a “golden parachute”. By comparison, Michael Eisner received a very high $750,000 per year and an astronomical 510,000 stock options.
     
    Henson Bio XI: Autumn in LA
  • Chapter 14: The War for Disney (Cont’d)
    Excerpt from Jim Henson: Storyteller, an authorized biography by Jay O’Brian


    The “Fall” had settled over Los Angeles, California, though Jim Henson found it hard to think of the season by that name when you could still wear short sleeves. The temperature had abated from its summer blaze down to a cool, breezy chill that teased the brief but torrential winter wet season to come. For Jim, the rainy season brought not the depression and annoyance that it was for most Angelinos, but a sense of cleansing and rejuvenation.

    And after a long and challenging summer, it was certainly welcome. Not only had Disney faced down a hostile takeover attempt, but he’d been officially separated from both his wife and the company they founded together. Sure, he still technically owned the majority share of the combined company, but the small, intimate Henson Associates – HA! – was now a small cog in a much larger machine. With Jane and Heather back living in Connecticut, Jim sold the family house in Dana Point and moved into a historic seaside cottage in Laguna Beach, which he had completely refurbished and decorated in an eclectic mix of old fashioned, international, and high tech hyper-modern. It was, he thought, the perfect “bachelor pad” from which to begin this new phase in his life.

    As if in complement to his new life, it was also now a new Disney as well. Jim felt a new sense of creative freedom and for the first time since he joined Disney felt truly empowered to push the limits of what Disney could be. Card and Donn were fully retired, gone from the board and the Executive Committee alike. Roy was back and in charge of Animation and openly supportive. Ron Miller fully supported him as well. And Frank Wells had assumed the Presidency and was already talking about big restructuring initiatives. Jim and Frank had gotten along well during the takeover battle. Jim had appreciated the man’s calm, polite, focused professionalism in the midst of a divided and squabbling board, a beacon of light in the midst of the darkness. If Jim was always the eye of the creative storm, then Frank had surely been the eye of a monetary one.

    Jim liked Wells’ polite and even compassionate approach to the generally cold-hearted world of business management. He was certain that they’d get along swimmingly.

    He was also certain that there’d be disagreements, albeit polite ones. Already, Wells was questioning the budgets for the studios, in particular animation, which was giving “poor returns”. This was an alien idea to Jim and Roy alike. How do you put a price on Snow White and the generations of magic she’d brought? Easy: the price is $3.36 a ticket or $29.95 per VHS, Jim sardonically told himself. But how do you translate the non-monetary value of a work of art to someone with an accountant’s mind? Advertising for the park? Brand recognition? Merchandise? He predicted that budget meetings were about to get more interesting.

    One area where the two definitely saw eye to eye was in the need for efficiency. Neither liked the afternoon slack that took over after lunch, particularly on Thursdays and Fridays. Jim loved the job, and it struck him as strange that others did not! Since first coming to the studio, Jim had worked in ways both subtle and overt to increase productivity. Simply threatening an employee with termination wasn’t his style, and a captive artist was, in Jim’s experience, a poor artist who took shortcuts and only worked hard enough to not get fired, or worse sought revenge in small and petty ways[1].

    Instead, he sought to motivate employees. He pushed for pay raises (the studio workers barely made scale!) and better benefits, and was generally frustrated by Disney management in this regard. The company that self-destructively never wanted to raise ticket prices in the parks also didn’t want to properly compensate its artists. It seemed like a simple formula to him: raise revenues and invest that in your greatest assets, the creative people of the company.

    When improved compensation wasn’t an option, Jim instead looked to provide motivation through opportunity. He assumed most of the artists wanted the same thing that he did: a chance to enact their own personal vision. He used the World of Magic show as an opportunity to give bored, frustrated employees an outlet. Now, as long as it didn’t interfere with your main job, you could work on the side (and on the clock) for something that you did want to do. His straight-to-the-employees approach ran into roadblocks from angry middle managers – a position that held little value to Jim – so Soft Pitch Fridays was born. And it worked. The total number of cels created per day went up considerably as inbetweeners and ink-and-painters got right to work first thing in the morning so that they could work on the thing that they really wanted to do in the afternoon and evening, once their daily target was met.

    He also looked for, and eliminated, aggravations. One day in 1983, shortly after becoming Studio President, Jim called the employees to the lot. There was a table with a cloth-shrouded object. “I have heard many complaints about a certain team member,” he began, “one who has been damaging morale with his cold, heartless, unbending mechanical demands upon you all. I’d just like to let you all know that he has been terminated from his position here.” He then pulled back the cloth to reveal the hated punch card time clock. A huge cheer rose up through the assembled crowd.

    Jim hated that clock. It set a bad tone for the day in his mind as employees cursed and stressed in the Orange County traffic in a rush to punch in before they got their already paltry pay docked. Getting “off the clock”, i.e. being an employee senior enough to not need to use the punch clock, became a principle goal of employees. Card had always resisted Jim’s attempts to remove it, considering it critical to discipline and productivity. Jim saw it as the opposite: a small morale killer that knocked creative people off of their game and pitted leadership against the employees while simultaneously hurting productivity. Now it was gone.

    Jim went further, pushing a flexible work schedule for employees like animators and story writers who didn’t have set filming schedules to meet. As long as you met or exceeded your production targets – and he was clear that they were “targets”, not “quotas” – Jim didn’t care when you showed up or left. Little breaks and small practical jokes were encouraged to help break up the monotony as long as the targets were met. When they weren’t, Jim pushed the idea of “friendly reminders” from managers rather than overt threats of termination. Any employee, or more often manager, that didn’t like this arrangement was offered a free letter of recommendation for their new jobs, all in the spirit of helping one find their own way in life.

    He also led by example. Jim was inevitably the first person in the office and the last to leave, some days working through the night. Occasionally, incoming employees had to wake him up from whatever couch he’d fallen asleep on. As more and more employees began working increasingly odd hours, the Studio inevitably had to hire more guards and custodians as people came and left the studios pretty much 24/7, the early birds waving to the night owls on the way by.

    Productivity skyrocketed, in defiance of the expectations of the traditional managers. In addition to meeting targets for production on The Black Cauldron, Basil of Baker Street was already in early production[2], five animated TV series for Saturday Mornings or the Disney Channel were in production[3], and dozens of animated Shorts in any number of styles and media were in various stages of production.

    Card Walker shook his head in disbelief as the ball fields became empty and the desks and studios became full. The hippie bastard had somehow done it. Ray Watson and Frank Wells both took notice. “We need to increase his compensation,” Watson told Wells. On the down side, the increased activity hours at the studios and the number of productions, particularly the Shorts, which had negligible return on investment if any, were driving up overhead costs. Jim countered that the Shorts were bringing viewers to World of Magic, which in turn was driving Disney Channel subscriptions, movie ticket and VHS sales, merchandise, and park visits.

    He also pointed out their prestige value: The Shorts were dominating the Emmys and Oscars. Just that year “Oh, Big Brother”, a retro Donald Duck Short set in the George Orwell 1984 universe[4] and visually quoting the “Der Fuhrer’s Face” Short from 1943, managed to win both awards after appearing both on World of Magic and with the 1984 re-release of Pinocchio. Jim also maintained that the Shorts were proving an excellent testing ground for concepts, techniques, and talent, calling out in particular up-and-coming animators like Tim Burton and John Lasseter and the number of spin-off series and even movies coming out of the Shorts. For the time being, the Shorts would stay in production.
    As 1984 came to a close, Jim Henson, along with sons Brian and John, daughter Cheryl, and friend Brian Froud, made a whirlwind trip to Wales, Glastonbury, and Cornwall for a much-earned vacation and to attend the world premiere of The Black Cauldron. Jim had insisted that the premier happen not in LA, New York, or even London, but in Cardiff, Wales. Froud showed them around, visiting all the castles, churches, and druidic standing stone sites, including Stonehenge. They even made a special trip to Glastonbury Tor, associated by legend to King Arthur, in celebration of The Round Table Group’s victory.

    The Black Cauldron received a standing ovation at its premier in the Theatr Newydd in Cardiff, Wales, and would go on to break box office records in Wales, Scotland, Ireland, Cornwall, and other Celtic-majority or Celtic-influenced places. With everyone patting him and Brian Froud on the back, Jim Henson believed, if only for a short time, that he had a true breakout hit on his hands.



    - ∞ -

    End of Part IV.



    [1] The nude pinup hidden in The Rescuers comes to mind.

    [2] It was in pre-production prior to the Point of Departure. In our timeline it became The Great Mouse Detective.

    [3] Muppet Babies, Disney’s Three Musketeers, Winnie the Pooh and Friends, Figment and the Dreamfinders, and The Rescuers.

    [4] You can thank “Mrs. Khan” for this idea. In her mind, “Big Brother” was to be portrayed by old archive footage of Walt on a big screen. I wish I could do that! Even fictional Ron Miller and Lilly Disney aren’t letting me get away with that one, though. Instead, Big Brother is portrayed by the go-to antagonist Pete. And yes, references to Orwell’s 1984 were so common in the actual year 1984 as to become cliché, just as we all got swamped by Back to the Future 2 references in 2015.
     
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    Part V: The Visionary and the Vizier
  • Part V: The Visionary and The Vizier

    “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” – African proverb



    Introduction: The Exceptions to the Rule
    Excerpt from The Visionary and the Vizier, Jim Henson and Frank Wells at Disney, by Derek N. Dedominos[1], MBA.


    The 1980s were the era of the Celebrity CEO: the “front man” for a company (and it was almost always a man), as famous as his products. By being the face of the brand, he became the brand. Famous both in the business world and in the living rooms of America, the Celebrity CEO was inseparably associated with the company that he ran, whether he was the one who founded it or not.

    Several names come to mind when one talks of Celebrity CEOs: Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Lee Iacocca, Ray Kroc, George Steinbrenner, Michael Eisner. One name conspicuously not on that list: Ron Miller, CEO of Walt Disney Entertainment, who was the son-in-law of Walt Disney, the original Celebrity CEO.

    Instead of Miller, two other men became the names most associated with the Disney brand in the 1980s: Jim Henson, Studio President and CCO, and Frank Wells, Company President and COO. The former became the household face of the company on Main Street and the latter became the corporate face of the company on Wall Street. One would lead the creative endeavors of the company through its corporate renaissance, and the other would turn the once-failing company into a strong corporate presence. One was the guiding light of the company whose creative vision was rarely rejected, and the other was the de facto ruler of the company, its de jura CEO Ron Miller inevitably acting on Frank’s “advice”.

    They were the Visionary and the Vizier.

    Jim Henson, the Visionary, was the creator of the Muppets[2] and founder, Chairman, and CEO of Henson Associates right up to its absorption by Walt Disney in 1984. A “Gentle Giant”, tall, sweet, and kind, Henson had a good head for business, but inevitably preferred the creative side of things. He was a lot like Walt Disney, to whom he was often compared. Both spent their formative childhoods in the Mississippi delta, both were founders of a creative empire, both were as famous in front of the camera as they were behind it, and both endeavored to put the artistic merits of a production ahead of short-term financial goals.

    Jim Henson was beloved by his employees and inspired them to achieve great things. He urged people to enjoy their work and to see it as fun in its own right, and he led by example in those respects. He worked hard, played hard, and, like a modern-day Will Rogers, generally got along with everybody he met.

    Frank Wells, the Vizier, by contrast, was a quiet, unassuming man. Studious, business-minded, efficient, and straight-forward, Wells came across more as a mild-mannered accountant than an aggressive executive of an entertainment company. He cared less about the creative side of things, seeing that as his weak point, and was content to leave that to others. He was friendly, professional, modest, considerate, and grounded. Crucially, he was willing to listen to others and their opposing opinions, and then seek consensus. And yet, his unassuming, modest exterior hid one of the more powerful, ambitious, and strategic minds in the industry. It is fitting that throughout the 1980s his principle non-business goal was to climb to the summit of the tallest mountain on each continent, not for the glory or notoriety, but simply for the personal challenge and sense of accomplishment that came with it.

    Wells was content to sit in the background, allowing Ron Miller to claim the throne and Jim Henson to command the spotlight, while Wells wielded the true strings of power like a benign despot. His fingerprints were soon on everything, driving new efficiency efforts from top to bottom and imbuing strategic thinking in the company management at all levels. He was held back in this effort only by Miller’s penchant for defending Old Disney’s customer-focused image and traditions and by Henson’s creative needs. Even Chairman of the Board Ray Watson soon recognized the quiet power and influence of Frank Wells, whom he dubbed the “Viceroy” to Miller’s “Prince”. Watson soon declared the power-sharing arrangement between him, Miller, and Wells, as the “new troika”, a reference to the previous “troika” rule of the company by Roy O. Disney, E. Cardon Walker, and Donn Tatum following Walt Disney’s death in 1966.

    Perhaps he should have called it a quadrumvirate, for Jim Henson’s soft power with the board and the employees alike was, in many ways, stronger than Watson’s and Miller’s direct authority over either. Watson ultimately acknowledged this soft Henson power around the time that he stepped down from the Chairmanship in 1985, a role that he had always viewed as a temporary stewardship. After Watson handed the Chairman’s seat to Wells, he started referring to the new management arrangement as the “third troika”, belatedly recognizing Henson’s indelible influence over the corporate strategy.

    Former CEO and Chairman E. Cardon Walker echoed this troika idea. A former Navy man, he put things in naval terms: Miller was the friendly Commanding Officer (CO), “the father to his men”, Wells was the distant, disciplinarian Executive Officer (XO) who kept the ship running smoothly, and Henson was the Navigator, plotting the strategic course ahead.

    And yet I would call it a diarchy, for increasingly Jim Henson and Frank Wells would rule the company while CEO Ron Miller was slowly becoming little more than a figurehead.

    Diarchy or troika, the new paradigm worked. Henson would handle the creative side of things while Wells handled the business side of things. Wells’ “yin” of grounded business pragmatism offered the perfect counterweight to Henson’s far-reaching creative “yang”. Wells reigned in the more radical and impractical of Henson’s creative impulses while Henson took risks and pushed the company forward in innovative and groundbreaking ways, unable to be fully tied down by Wells’ tight purse strings.

    It was, fittingly, an arrangement not too different from the original one forged between Walt Disney and his business-minded brother Roy[3].




    [1] His wife Laila was an executive at Yardbird Dairy Corp., where she ran the Cream Division.

    [2] Poor Jane…always the forgotten founder.

    [3] The relationship between Michael Eisner and Frank Wells often received this same comparison in our timeline.
     
    The Black Cauldron
  • The Cauldron of Nightmares!! (1984)
    Video from revamped Nostalgia was Way Better when I was a Kid Netsite, Oct. 21st, 2007

    Exterior – Spiral Castle – Nighttime (Animation)

    We see the dark visage of Spiral Castle in the background. Lightning flashes. Thunder crashes over an ominous score. A deep-voiced Narrator describes the setting.

    450

    (Image source “scrooge-mcduck.fandom.com”)

    Narrator
    Long ago, in the land of Prydain, evil lurked. The fearsome Horned King, servant of the diabolical Arawn, Death-Lord, has unleashed terror upon the men and women of the land. The terror of…The Black Cauldron!!​

    Lightning flashes, CUT TO:

    Interior – Larry’s Study
    Larry, host and writer for the net show, sits behind a desk in front of all of his nerdy books and toys. Figures of Taran, Gurgi, and Princess Eilonwy sit on the desk in front of him. His jaunty theme music plays in the background.

    Larry
    Hi, I’m Larry, and “Nostalgia was Way Better when I was a Kid”. And today we’re dipping once again into the endless well of nightmare juice that was Disney in the 1980s. Specifically, we’re talking about The Black Cauldron.​

    Creepy fanfare music plays; title card of the episode name superimposes briefly.

    Larry (Cont’d)
    Distilled from the warped minds of Brian “I made fairies scary again” Froud and Tim “even my puppies are terrifying” Burton, 1984’s The Black Cauldron brings the world of Lloyd Alexanders’ Chronicles of Prydain books to un-life. And yes, nightmares…I mean spoilers ahead, children.​

    Exterior – Caer Dallben – Daytime (Animation)
    Taran sits next to the inquisitive pig Hen Wen, pushing his long, shaggy hair out of his eyes.

    Taran
    It’s not fair, Hen Wen. In my heart of hearts, I am a warrior borne, but my status leaves me but a keeper of pigs…no offense.​

    Hen Wen squeals sympathetically. Scene cuts to other clips of the movie, which play silently as Larry describes them in voiceover.

    Larry (Voiceover)
    The adventure begins with our big eyed, small mouthed, angst-ridden protagonist Taran, an assistant pig keeper who looks after a psychic pig who can see into the future. When said pig naturally escapes because Taran is busy playing soldier, Taran sets out to find the pig, but naturally gets caught up in the middle of a big battle alongside the forces of the noble Prince Gwydion, who are ambushed by (dramatic voice) The Living Deeaaddd! [dramatic fanfare plays] Taran is knocked unconscious by a skeletal warrior and wakes up in a tent.​

    Interior – Eilonwy’s Tent (Animation)
    Taran awakes and starts to explore the tent.

    Taran
    Where am I…?

    Gurgi
    (crazy laugh) Awake! Awake it is!! Mistress, awake he has become!!!​

    Taran screams, causing Gurgi to scream.

    lfgu1.jpg

    (Image source “andreasdeja.blogspot.com”)

    Larry (V.O.)
    And this charming little hellspawn is Gurgi the beast man, who is practically the deconstruction of the “cute Disney sidekick” trope. His eyes and voice will haunt your nightmares. Gurgi is the friend and companion to the beautiful Princess Eilonwy, whom Taran naturally falls madly in love with, but can never touch – curse his commoner’s blood! And he soon meets the obnoxious Prince Ellidyr, third borne son of a minor king and a rival for the Princess’s affections, who is quick to remind him of this fact.​

    Exterior – Spiral Castle – Daytime (Animation)
    Taran, Eilonwy, Ellidyr, and Gurgi sneak into the diabolical Spiral Castle. Clips change in accordance with the voiceover descriptions.

    MBC5.jpg

    (Image source “andreasdeja.blogspot.com”)

    Larry (V.O.)
    Taran finds out that Prince Gwydion has led an army to besiege Spiral Castle, where the feared Horned King, a boisterous, brutal Viking, is using the titular Cauldron to summon armies of the dead. Not content to wait out the siege, the four decide that they should sneak into the castle and steal the cauldron themselves, thus becoming heroes. They sneak past the inevitably distracted guards to the cauldron room, but the cauldron is gone. Instead, Creeper, the Horned King’s loyal and incontinence-inducing goblin minion, finds them and they are all captured, except for Gurgi, who escapes through a hole in the wall.​

    Interior – Dungeons and Queen Achren’s Laboratory (Animation)
    We see Queen Achren interacting with Eilonwy. It cuts later to the dungeon and other locations in keeping with the voiceover.

    Larry (V.O.)
    So, while Taran and Ellidyr are sent to the dungeon, where they will share a dank cell with the King-turned-bard-turned-comic-relief Fflewddur Fflam, Eilonwy is taken instead to the seductively evil Queen Achren, who gave many an 11-to-13-year-old boy strange feelings they couldn’t explain. The way she, erm, interacted with Eilonwy apparently also gave a certain subset of 11-to-13-year-old girls some strange feelings they couldn’t explain, too, which caught the attention of moral guardians of the time and made Queen A. the lesbian icon she remains to this day. Queen A. wants to teach Eilonwy the dark magical arts as her new apprentice, but Eilonwy resists her…let’s say professional interest. Gurgi later breaks Eilonwy out and leads her through the secret tunnels he found. She insists they go rescue their friends from the dungeon.​

    Interior – Spiral Castle – Horned King’s Room (Animation)
    Eilonwy and Gurgi look through a hidden spy hole into the room of the Viking-like Horned King, who has a crystal ball. He then transforms in a scary sequence into the spectral, skeletal Arawan, Death-Lord, and summons the image of three witches on the crystal ball.

    SKzk3M7X_2704170022261gpadd.jpeg

    (Image source “cafans.b-cdn.net”)

    Larry (V.O.)
    Along the way they witness a diaper-as-a-prerequisite-for-viewing transformation scene, where the Horned King is revealed to be Arawan, the Death Lord, and Skeletor’s long-lost cousin. We find out that the three witches who own the cauldron have taken it back since his “time ran out” with it. He then reveals to the witches the MacGuffin-swine Hen Wen in a cage and offers the psychic pig in exchange for another turn with the cauldron. Knowing that she needs to stop both of these actions, Eilonwy sends Gurgi to rescue the boys while she sneaks in and steals back Hen Wen.​

    Interior – Spiral Castle – Dungeons (Animation)
    Scenes below the castle are shown in succession.

    Larry (V.O.)
    Gurgi breaks out Taran, Ellidyr, and the Fflam Man and they meet back up with Eilonwy, who holds Hen Wen, but the alarm is sounded. Soon they’re all backed into a crypt deep below the castle by cauldron born undead. Ellidyr tries unsuccessfully to fight them off with a rusty sword he found, but the blade does no harm to them. Meanwhile Taran, looking for his own weapon, finds the corpse of a dead king holding a sword and yanks it from the deathly grip. The sword is magic as fuck and he’s able to destroy the undead with it, finally the warrior he always wanted to be. But there are too many of them, so Gurgi leads them even deeper below the castle to a circle of ancient standing stones, which the castle was apparently built upon. He leads then between the stones and through a mystical doorway of mid ‘80s computer animation and into the magical land of the fairies to their escape.​

    Exterior – Fairy Land – Perpetual Twilight (Animation)
    The five heroes encounter various mystical, and slightly sinister, elves, fairies, sprites, and other fair folk.

    xScreen-Shot-2019-03-05-at-3.37.34-PM.png.pagespeed.ic.WH1IaFEF0R.jpg

    Brian Froud Faeries (Image source "capilanou.ca")

    Larry (V.O.)
    So, it’s off to fairyland, so now we can finally hang with Tink and friends and escape the nightmare juice for a moment, right? WRONG! These are Brian Froud fairies! You thought Gurgi and Creeper are nightmare juice? Well here comes jolly ol’ King Eiddileg and his merry band of child-stealing, milk-curdling little monsters, all deliberately made over by the Uncanny Valley School of Beauty. These creepy bits of old Dark Age terror inform the heroes that not only must Arawan not reclaim the cauldron, but the witches must never claim Hen Wen or bad shit goes down. The “fair folk” agree to protect the little piggy that caused it all and to return it to Taran’s boss Dalban the Enchanter if the heroes are willing to destroy the cauldron. King Exposition of Fairyland then tells our heroes that they can find the witches and the cauldron in the Marshes of Morva.​

    Exterior – Marshes of Morva – Nighttime (Animation)
    The five heroes wander the marsh and encounter the three witches, Orddu, Orwen and Orgoch.

    BWB-1.jpg

    (Image source “andreasdeja.blogspot.com”)

    Larry (V.O.)
    So, now our heroes travel to the Marshes of Morva where they encounter the three…OHMYHOLYFUCKINSHIT!!! GHAAA!! My kingdom for a Xanax!! Ahem…they now encounter the terror of the witches three, nightmare juice squeezed from your finest baby tears. Despite some “humor” with Orwen flirting with the Fflamster, the scene is creepy as fuck. They are told by the witches that they can have the cauldron, but the witches will need something in return. Orddu suggests Hen Wen, for example, but no sell. Flamboni offers his magic harp and Eilonwy a vaguely magical broach. But no, the Gods of Symbolism demand that Taran sacrifice his newfound magic sword and with it his symbolic warriorhood, which he reluctantly does. But the witches three warn that the only way to destroy the cauldron is for a living mortal to willingly sacrifice their own life by diving into it.​

    Exterior – Wilderness and Spiral Castle – Dawn (Animation)
    The five heroes drag the eponymous cauldron, but are attacked by Gwythaints.

    H1042-L108911049.jpg

    (Image source “auctionzip.com”)

    Larry (V.O.)
    Aaannnnd naturally they fuck it all up, as Arawan spies on them all through his crystal ball of plot device and sends his dragon-like Gwythaints to attack them. They do and soon the Cauldron of McGuffin is off once again to Castle Grayskull, err, the Spiral Castle. Our heroes now return to the castle, where the siege has turned hot and the forces of Prince Gwydion are overrunning the battlements, defeating the remaining mostly human guards, Enchanter Dalben is even there to vanquish the remaining cauldron born zombies with some computer-aided mystical Laser Floyd effects. Victory seems assured for our heroic Prince when the Gwythaints bring back the cauldron, so the many dead can rise once again to join the armies of Arawan.​

    Interior – The Cauldron Room (Animation)
    The five heroes reenter the castle and get to the cauldron room. In a spectacular animation and effects scene, Arawan uses the magic of the cauldron and the dead come back to life and engage, and kill, the living soldiers on both sides, who also rise as cauldron born.

    Larry (V.O.)
    The five heroes break back into the castle just in time for Arawan aka the Horned King to use the dark magic to summon more of the cauldron born zombies in a scene brought to you by the makers of Diazepam. Soon it’s dead men walking and…ah! The blood! The bones! AH! AH! Ahhnyway, in the ensuing fight to recapture the cauldron, or at least end the ceremony, Ellidyr is stabbed by a zombie and…ah! More blood! So much blood!! Now Taran, knowing someone has to stop this, makes the decision to dive into the cauldron and sacrifice himself. He is stopped by the dying Ellidyr, who, after spending most of the film mocking Taran’s low birth, surprises Taran by knighting him on the spot as the zombies graciously wait out the ceremony and then does a swan dive into the cauldron himself, the first non-villain main character death in a Disney movie since Bambi’s Mom, if I recall. His sacrifice causes the cauldron to crack and shoot magic flames that engulf and consume Arawan, and cause all the zombies to crumble into dust. The love triangle terminally resolved, Gurgi arranges for events to allow Eilonwy and now-Sir Taran, to kiss. And we have our…happy ending?​

    Interior – Larry’s Study
    Larry is back at his desk.

    Larry
    The Black Cauldron debuted in late November of 1984 and thereby became Burton’s other “Nightmare before Christmas”. The movie got positive reviews and debuted at number one at the box office, just beating out the craptacular Supergirl. After a promising opening weekend, however, attendance dropped like a rock. Despite the studio working hard in their marketing campaign to make it clear that this movie was, duh, not appropriate for younger children, news stories proliferated of parents dragging their terrified tots out of theaters. There were even a few lawsuits, all dismissed since, double duh, PG rated movie back when that meant something. That one’s on you, Mama Jones! It was looking like Disney animation was about to have its first bomb since Fantasia. But then, [angelic music plays] a Christmas miracle happened. Attendance started ticking back up. It seems that there truly is no such thing as bad publicity, because soon stupid, macho-wannabe 8-12 year old boys like me were dragging our parents to see this 90-minute SSRI advertisement because we were Big Boys, brave and strong, dammit, and no, I wasn’t scared by the skeletons and witches, you were! And if my eyes are red it’s because I was up all night past my bedtime because I’m a rebel, not because I was screaming that skeletons were going to eat me in my sleep, no way!!​

    Larry sits back, pretending to cry for a moment.

    Larry
    And yet – are you detecting a pattern, folks? – it could have been even scarier! Some leaked concept art portrays some pants-shittingly gruesome images of the living becoming the living dead by their flesh bubbling, rotting, and blistering away.​

    For a brief second, highlighted by a scream effect, some of this concept art is flashed on the screen.

    Larry
    Apparently, even the man who brought you cute little Muppets having their very souls ripped from them by the Dark Crystal, and who somehow felt that Brian Froud and Tim Burton were the right call for designing a Disney cartoon, though this was too much. [break] The Black Cauldron ultimately made a cool $50 million or so at the international box office[1], doing much better overseas than in the US. It thereby either made a fair profit or it barely broke even, depending on how you count the costs to make it. The film represents a unique period in Disney animation. Ron Miller was pushing for a more adult, mature image for Disney. New Chief Creative Officer Jim Henson, creator of The Dark Crystal and your psychiatrist’s best friend, was also trying to shed his kid-friendly “Muppets” image. And simultaneous to all of this was the backdrop of an attempted corporate takeover which may well have led to some of the darker themes staying in. Should you see it? Yes, with other grown up adults, in the daytime with all the lights on. It’s unique among the Disney anima-canon, stylistically singular, and thematically unlike nearly anything else in Disney’s anima-canon. Watch it, and be sure to forward your therapy bills to Brian Froud and Tim Burton. [beat] So, you did it, you wasted another good quarter hour of your life and ran your therapy bills back up with me as I demonstrated once again why “Nostalgia was Way Better when I was a Kid”. Come back next week for a new video, this time about the Dan Ackroyd and Eddie Murphy comedy Ghostbusters, a 90-minute ghost story that’s still far less terror inducing than good old Walt Disney from the same year. And, as always…pleasant dreams!

    [Theme music plays and video ends]




    [1] Notably better than in our timeline, but hardly a major blockbuster and far below Ron Miller’s dreams of reinvigorating Disney Animation. Having a unique look and a central guiding vision has produced a “better” picture, but the dark, un-Disneylike tone is still holding it back. It will be another “cult classic” in this timeline, the “unappreciated gem” for many. It will be remembered for being an early cinematic look at Tim Burton.
     
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    Movies 1980-1984
  • Hyperion Flames Out
    From The Hollywood Reporter, November 21st, 1984


    Even Babe Ruth strikes out eventually. Despite their incredible early successes with Never Cry Wolf and Splash, Hyperion Studios has broken new ground with their first flop. First World War drama, The Razor’s Edge may have been the price for bringing Bill Murray to Ghostbusters, but oh what a price to pay! With a plodding plot and a passive protagonist, the vanity project was doomed from the start, with critics and audiences alike proclaiming it a dud. And while some applaud Murray’s dramatic acting chops and see a dramatic future ahead for him, general audiences have found it difficult to take the Saturday Night Live star seriously. The film looks likely to lose over $5 million and will surely be the fledgling studio’s first write-off. Let’s hope that their next outing, The Ballad of Edward Ford, is a better fit. However, rumors of a troubled production and infighting at Hyperion over the movie’s adult themes and explicit scenes provides an ill omen.


    * * *​

    Game Over?
    From The Hollywood Reporter, November 26th, 1984


    Disney’s not having the merriest of Christmases this year. After a spectacular spring and summer with Ghostbusters, Back to the Future, and Splash, not only did Hyperion’s The Razor’s Edge fail to break even and The Black Cauldron fail to be the film that reinvigorated Disney Animation, but early sales for Tron: Return to the Network have been disappointing. The film has received mixed reviews and is generally considered a disappointing follow-up to the original Tron. While industry analysts predict that the film will be profitable, any hope of catching up to the returns of the original are certainly dashed. Still, the silver lining may be that the film has rejuvenated sales of the Tron line of merchandise and videogames and there is talk of developing a Tron television show[1].


    * * *​

    A Pressure-Forged Diamond
    From New York Times Movie Reviews, December 16th, 1984


    The boon and bane of Hollywood truly is the “Troubled Production”. They lead to either hits or flops, it seems. Sometimes it brings us Apocalypse Now, but sometimes it brings us Heaven’s Gate. Thankfully, in the case of The Pope of Greenwich Village, it brings us a diamond forged by constant heat and pressure. The Pope of Greenwich Village, starring the fabulous Robert De Niro and Al Pacino in their first film starring together (they were both in The Godfather, Part II, but shared no screen time), is a master class on how to put together a crime drama. It’s two masters finally sharing the big screen, and it nearly didn’t happen. At first, they couldn’t get their two leads. Though Pacino was available for shooting, De Niro was busy doing Once Upon a Time in America and the contractual date of release was looming.

    They tried to continue on with new actors, but their choice to play Charlie (the De Niro role), Mickey Roarke, was already under contract with Paramount to do Beverly Hills Cop. Director Michael Cimino pleaded for and eventually got an extension and thus went into principle photography the second that Once Upon a Time in America was complete. Even so, it reportedly required seven figures each to get De Niro and Pacino in the film.

    And when filming finally began, with it came the troubles. Delays in filming due to weather and location difficulties mixed with prop problems and set issues. Rumors abounded of massive arguments between the two co-stars that bled over into the rest of the cast and crew. It is no secret that De Niro and Pacino, though good friends, had a friendly rivalry in their younger days that manifested in what seemed to their costars to be massive fights and fits of one-upmanship. But both stars deny the rumors of a feud. “It’s just how you talk when you’re from New York,” said Pacino in an interview. “You call someone a sorry [expletive deleted] like it’s the greatest of compliments.” “Yea,” added De Niro, “And this sorry [expletive deleted] has been a pain in my [expletive deleted] for years!” “Same to you, [expletive deleted],” said Pacino, causing both to laugh.

    And, frankly, this friendly belligerence translated well to the big screen. Like their actors, the two cousins have clearly had a long and complicated life together. And when their “can’t miss” robbery goes spectacularly wrong, they are soon on the wrong side of both the law and the mafia. The writing is great. The screen chemistry is fantastic, Cimino’s direction is superb, and the raw emotion is tangible. The Pope of Greenwich Village is a must-see for those un-enamored with seeing a Disney cartoon or Tron sequel this fall[2].

    The Pope of Greenwich Village, Rated R for language, violence, sexuality, and crime; ⭐⭐⭐⭐

    * * *​


    Pictures Released by Walt Disney Studios, 1980-1984[3]

    Release dateTitleStudio labelCo-production with
    February 8, 1980Midnight MadnessWalt Disney Productions
    March 7, 1980Lady and the Tramp (re-release)Walt Disney Productions
    April 17, 1980The Watcher in the WoodsWalt Disney Productions
    June 25, 1980Herbie Goes BananasWalt Disney Productions
    The Last Flight of Noah's ArkWalt Disney Productions
    December 12, 1980PopeyeWalt Disney ProductionsParamount Pictures, Robert Evans Productions and King Features Entertainment;
    International distribution.
    March 6, 1981The Devil and Max DevlinWalt Disney Productions
    March 20, 1981AmyWalt Disney Productions
    April 3, 1981Alice in Wonderland (re-release)Walt Disney Productions
    June 26, 1981DragonslayerWalt Disney ProductionsParamount Pictures; international distribution
    July 10, 1981The Fox and the HoundWalt Disney Productions
    August 7, 1981CondormanWalt Disney Productions
    November 6, 1981Time BanditsHandMade FilmsDistributed by Buena Vista under the Fantasia Films label
    December 9, 1981The Dark CrystalFantasia FilmsHenson Associates
    February 5, 1982Night CrossingWalt Disney Productions
    March 16, 1982Robin Hood (re-release)Walt Disney Productions
    April 2, 1982Fantasia (re-release)Walt Disney Productions
    June 4, 1982Bambi (re-release)Walt Disney Productions
    July 9, 1982A Muppet Mystery!Walt Disney ProductionsHenson Associates
    July 30, 1982TexWalt Disney Productions
    September 17, 1982Peter Pan (re-release)Walt Disney Productions
    October 6, 1982Something Wicked This Way Comes [w/ Short Vincent]Fantasia Films
    December 17, 1982Tron [w/ Short Fun with Mr. Future]Walt Disney ProductionsLisberger-Kushner Productions
    March 11, 1983TrenchcoatWalt Disney Productions
    March 25, 1983The Sword in the Stone (re-release) [w/ Short Winnie the Pooh and a Day for Eeyore]Walt Disney Productions
    July 15, 1983Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (re-release) [w/ Short Dopey and the Timid Turtle]Walt Disney Productions
    October 7, 1983Never Cry WolfHyperion PicturesAmarok Productions Ltd.
    November 4, 1983Running BraveEnglander ProductionsDistributed by Buena Vista Distribution
    December 16, 1983The Rescuers (re-release) [w/ Short Mickey’s Christmas Carol]Walt Disney Productions
    January 27, 1984Pete’s Dragon (re-release)Walt Disney Productions
    February 17, 1984LadyhawkeFantasia Films
    March 9, 1984SplashHyperion Pictures
    May 4, 1984Pinocchio (re-release) [w/ Short Oh Big Brother!]Walt Disney Productions
    June 8, 1984GhostbustersFantasia FilmsUniversal Pictures (name rights only)
    July 13, 1984Muppets on Broadway [w/ Short Fozzie’s Follies]Walt Disney ProductionsHenson Associates (Note: this was the last co-production from the independent HA before merging with Disney)
    July 27, 1984The Neverending StoryConstantin Films AGDistributed by Buena Vista under the Fantasia Films label
    August 15, 1984Back to the FutureFantasia Films
    September 21, 1984The Jungle Book (re-release) [w/ Short Where the Wild Things Are]Walt Disney Productions
    October 19, 1984The Razor’s EdgeHyperion PicturesSilver Screen Partners II
    November 16, 1984The Black Cauldron [w/ Short The Nightmare Before Christmas]Walt Disney Productions
    December 7, 1984Tron: Return to the NetworkFantasia Films




    [1] Tron: Return to the Network will gross $45 million against a $25 million budget. Merch and game sales will quadruple that. The TV show, however, will be delayed due to cost and technology.

    [2] In our timeline Roarke was available and they met their contractual deadline. The film is considered excellent, but was largely a flop. Here The Pope of Greenwich Village will be a modest success and earn some awards and be recalled as “that movie with both Di Niro and Pacino”, though few will call it either of their best.

    [3] Director’s Cap tip to @MatthewFirth for requesting this. It’s actually been very helpful for me to organize my timeline, so thanks!
     
    Non-Disney Animation I
  • Chapter 9: A Real American Cash-Grab
    From In the Shadow of the Mouse, Non-Disney Animation 1960-2000, by Joshua Ben Jordan


    The 1980s marked a notable shift in television animation in the US, particularly a shift towards merchandise-driven entertainment. Other than Disney, only a small handful of animators were producing feature films, such as Don Bluth’s The Secret of NIMH, Ralph Bakshi’s Fire and Ice, John Korty’s “lumage” based Twice Upon a Time, and a spate of Looney Tunes “composite movies” by Warner Brothers.

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    None of these performed spectacularly. Bluth's now beloved film ran smack into the juggernaut that was E.T. while Fire and Ice, with its mature themes, failed to attract viewers of any age. Twice Upon a Time, despite the beauty of its artistry, which had attracted lots of attention, underperformed upon wide release by Warner Brothers[1] and even killed the studio that produced it. Jim Henson at Disney, who knew director John Korty from their time together at Sesame Street, had attempted to get Buena Vista to distribute the film on the advice of George Lucas, but was voted down at the time by the Disney Executive Committee. Since both it and The Right Stuff failed to make a profit, Alan Ladd’s production company went bankrupt and Twice Upon a Time would ultimately see a limited post-theatrical distribution through HBO and remains a cult classic to this day. As a silver lining, animator John Korty would be hired by Henson in late 1983, where he put together lumage-based short animations and transitions for Disney’s World of Magic and shows and effects for the Disney parks. He also directed the live action production Caravan of Courage for Lucasfilm in 1984.

    Bugs_Bunny_Roadrunner_movie.jpg
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    Such original feature films were the exception to be sure. For most of the late 1970’s and 1980s, Warner Animation had relied on composite features where classic Looney Tunes shorts were stitched together with newly drawn bridging sequences into something resembling a narrative structure. These movies, such as 1979’s The Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Movie, 1981’s The Looney Looney Looney Bugs Bunny Movie, 1982’s Bugs Bunny's 3rd Movie: 1001 Rabbit Tales, and 1983’s Daffy Duck's Fantastic Island, were a bittersweet treat for fans as while they brought the beloved characters back to the big screen, they offered little new or original.

    Instead, animation at this point was mostly confined to the small screen. The familiar names from the 1970s, Filmation, DIC, Nelvana, Toei, and Hanna-Barbera, were still the “big five” in Saturday Morning and After School Cartoons, with the majority of the actual animation, regardless of studio, having moved to Japan to reduce production costs in the early 1980s. And while some of the cartoons derived from traditionally developed sources – for example Hanna-Barbera’s The Smurfs were derived from the Belgian cartoon "les Schtroumpfs" and DIC’s The Littles evolved out of a John Peterson children’s novel series – increasingly the cartoons seen in movie theaters or on TV on Saturday Mornings or After School were derived not from original creations, but from toy lines, either existing or planned.

    GiJoe_TV-Title1985.jpg


    The 1980s saw a loosening of federal restrictions on marketing to children, opening the floodgates for merchandise-driven animation, both for boys and for girls. The king of toy-driven cartoons was Sunbow Entertainment, owned by Griffin-Bacal Advertising. In partnership with Marvel productions and Toei Animation, Sunbow created most of the animation tie-in series for the Hasbro toy company of Rhode Island, whose GI Joe, Transformers, My Little Pony, and Jem cartoon/toy lines (among many others) saturated the airwaves and toy shelves alike[2]. Mattel was not far behind with He Man and its spin-off She-Ra, animated by Filmation. Tonka partnered with Hanna-Barbera to produce the Pound Puppies and Go-Bots, the latter a blatant Transformers rip-off. Struggling Rankin-Bass even jumped into the game in partnership with Pacific Animation with the He Man rip-off Thundercats, which despite its obviously derivative nature none the less found an appreciative audience thanks to unique characters and some relatively impressive animation given the time and cost constraints. Its success led R-B to rip itself off with Silverhawks in ‘87 and Tigersharks in ’88, neither of which could capture the magic of Thundercats.

    Care_Bears_DiC.png


    Other franchises blurred the lines between traditional and toy-driven productions, with characters from greeting cards turned into a simultaneous cartoon and toy line. DIC and later Nelvana distributed the Care Bears, based upon an American Greetings card line, but obviously marketed towards the new Parker Brothers line of plush toys. Toei and later Nelvana did something similar with the Strawberry Shortcake card line turned toy line. DIC would partner with Mattel to bring the Japanese card character Rainbow Brite to the small screen and toy shelf. Hanna-Barbera even jumped into the game with Hallmark’s Shirt Tails.

    RobotechTitle1985.jpg


    The success of the merchandise-driven animation model, in particular Transformers, led the Harmony Gold production company to adapt three unrelated Japanese anime series, Super Dimension Fortress Macross (1982), Super Dimension Cavalry Southern Cross (1984), and Genesis Climber Mospeada (1983), into a three-season multi-generational saga called Robotech in 1985 with tie-in toys by Matchbox. The hybrid series received positive ratings and good viewership and quickly found a dedicated audience. Unfortunately for Harmony Gold and Matchbox Toys, the more mature themes and deliberate pace of the anime series compared to the Sunbow productions attracted an audience that skewed older, and thus less likely to buy the toys (this was before the collectable toy craze). It was by some accounts the genesis of the US anime fandom, which would eventually become a profitable niche market in its own right[3], but for the time being, though, Robotech managed to fail in its primary goal of selling lots of toys to the “Boys ages 8-12” demographic.

    Interestingly, the one animation studio that didn’t heed the siren’s call of toy-driven cartoons was Disney. CCO Jim Henson was appalled by the shameless consumerism and jingoistic violence of the shows, with even the “girls’ shows” typically resorting to violence to save the day and defeat the irredeemable villains. Henson always had a complicated relationship with merchandise for his kid’s shows, ever afraid to provide something special for the fans to have at home for fear that he’d veer into the realm of manipulating children for profits, but this was another level of exploitation in his mind. Ron Miller and Roy Disney agreed, certain that Walt would never have approved. Despite some pressure from certain shareholders, Disney would not make a toy-driven series. Creativity and storytelling would be the foundations of series design, regardless of whether it was properly “toyetic” or not.

    What Jim Henson and Roy Disney would do, however, was parody the hell out of the concept. A November 1985 episode of Disney’s World of Magic featured a fake satirical advertisement for a new toy line/TV series called “The Merchenaries”, a loud, macho, jingoistic, self-aware series intercut by short fake ads for the tie-in toys[4]. It was “He Man and GI Joe ride the Transformers to fight the Inhumanoids”. The animation was deliberately bad with poor and mismatched color, recycled backgrounds, and drawn on the fours to be extra jumpy. As the “show” came to the cliffhanger ending, the Merchenaries’ Super Metamorphosizing Assault Krusher (or “SMAK”) proved unable to dig its way out of the goo trap set by the dastardly “General Knowledge”. The “heroic” Sergeant Beef Manwich turned to the camera and said “We don’t have enough power! The children of America aren’t buying enough SMAK toys!” This cut, naturally, to a fake add for the SMAK toy (Beef Manwich and Lady Asa Object action figures sold separately).

    The parody gained a lot of attention and Disney was soon flooded with fan letters from appreciative parents and educators, hate mail from angry fans of the satirized shows, and letters by those who either wanted to know when the show would air and the toys become available or who knew it was fake, but wanted it made anyway! Disney Consumer Products VP Bo Boyd joked about making it real when they started to get thousands of real requests for the toys. A limited run of Merchenaries toys was eventually produced as a self-aware joke with the proceeds going to help children who were victims of real-world violence.

    And yet, most in the industry saw the satire as the “last gasp of a dying man”, for Disney TV animation was at a severe disadvantage. By 1985 Disney remained the only studio to make near exclusive use of in-house animation. Following the collapse of the animation unions in 1982, most studios had moved a majority of their animation overseas, in particular to Japan where costs were much lower thanks to the dollar-yen exchange rate, but where quality remained acceptable or even good. The other studios looked at Disney with confusion at the time. It cost up to 20-40% more per cel of animation for Disney than for, say, Toei. While the quality of the story and the Disney animation were typically superior, the profit margins for TV made it risky. Even super-hits from Disney like Muppet Babies were less inherently profitable than middling hits from other studios like My Little Pony. It appeared to the other studios to be either pride or folly on Disney’s part that drove the decisions rather than economic reality. Disney’s DATA technology mitigated this cost differential somewhat through automated compositing and the reuse of background sequences, each slightly altered digitally, but most in the industry assumed that the implosion of Disney TV animation was imminent.

    In the end, the mid 1980s would be the Golden Age of the merchandise-driven TV series. Events would conspire to put an end to this Golden Age, but the link between the toys and the franchise became indelibly linked in the minds of producers and investors. And as much as Disney might like to pretend that they were above the fray, the fact remained that consumer products remained a cornerstone of the Disney business model as much as it was for the competing studios.




    [1] In our timeline it received only a limited distribution since their production company, the Alan Ladd Company, was facing financial difficulties and had to choose between a wide distribution for it or for The Right Stuff. Here the success of Once Upon a Time in America has given them more financial footing, but not enough in the long run.

    [2] For the record I was a total GI Joe fan, religiously watching the TV Show and scooping up any GI Joe toy my parents would relent to buying me. Hasbro loved me, the magnificent, manipulative bastards. And yet even I knew my parents would never go for that ultimate GI Joe toy: the damned Aircraft Carrier (the USS Freedom Eagle Cannon Boner, or something like that), so I never broached the subject.

    [3] You can bet Jim Henson and Frank Wells noticed this!

    [4] And a hat tip to Mrs. Khan for this idea!
     
    The Mickey Glove
  • Chapter 15: A New Kingdom Arises
    Excerpt from The King is Dead: The Walt Disney Company After Walt Disney, an Unauthorized History by Sue Donym and Arman N. Said


    Frank B. Wells surveyed his new kingdom, and found it wanting in many respects. The studios were a mixed success. Fantasia Films had two blockbusters in Ghostbusters and Back to the Future. The performance of Splash and Never Cry Wolf had been impressive, boosting Miller’s new Hyperion Pictures to a prominent place in Hollywood even despite the poor performance of Ladyhawke and The Razor’s Edge. Numerous successes had been achieved on television both on network TV and the Disney Channel and there were plans in place for a new Hyperion channel. Finally, the Muppets in one form or another were still proving profitable on both the big & little screens and even Off-Off Broadway. But revenues were still anemic for animation. The parks and hotels also needed a major fiscal overhaul. And the company had over $500 million in debt following the ACC takeover attempt, and at 14% interest.

    Wells met with CFO Mike Bagnall to look through the finances. Bagnall recalls being impressed with the new President and COO, relaying later that Frank was “very intelligent, very thorough, and really understood finance[1].” Wells, in turn, was impressed with a young Vice President named Stan Kinsey, who was participating in the impromptu meeting. Wells needed a “right hand”, someone who could take the pulse of the individual component departments and find ways to drive efficiencies. Wells took Kinsey aside and asked him his opinions on the state of finance in the company. Kinsey hit him with a frank and in-depth analysis of the situation and even presented an established plan for reducing overhead by 30%. Wells almost immediately put Kinsey in for a promotion, ultimately making him the Executive Vice President of Operations and his personal apprentice[2].

    Wells and Kinsey decided to take things one at a time, and go after “low hanging fruit”. First on the list was the parks, in particular their exceedingly-low ticket and parking prices. Despite some initial pushback from Outdoor Entertainment President Dick Nunis, who towed the Old Disney line that increasing ticket prices would hurt attendance and increasing parking fees would “present a bad first impression”, Wells convinced the board to raise the tickets, if only for a short exploratory period. Despite the fears of the Old Disney crowd, there was no measurable drop in attendance. Instead, the move generated a significant increase in daily, monthly, and ultimately yearly revenues. It also spurred a corresponding increase in stock value, helping to allay some residual fears of a second takeover attempt and help justify the investments of the White Knights. The studio profits, particularly the Fantasia releases, combined with the increased park revenues, went a long way towards paying down the debt.

    Other cost-cutting, revenue-generating measures would prove more challenging. Wells considered some direct competitive assignments between employees with the winner getting to keep their job, but first Kinsey and then Henson and Miller strongly opposed such measures as “out of keeping with the Disney spirit.” Instead, Kinsey pointed to the animation studios as a model to follow, pointing out the huge increase in productivity over the past few years under Henson. Wells, however, was of the opposite option, noting that overhead had increased and that profit margins remained far lower than in other areas of the company. Wells expressed an interest in eliminating the animation department entirely and focusing on the far more profitable Fantasia and Hyperion, but the mere suggestion was treated as blasphemy.

    While the studio was hailing The Black Cauldron as a success, $50 million against a $22 million budget, Wells dug further and determined that this was only counting the proximate, short-term costs. By his reckoning, Cauldron had cost well over $40 million to make and, factoring in marketing and distribution, was therefore a net loss! He noted that, by comparison, The Care Bears Movie was made for $2 million and grossed over $34 million. Roy E. Disney and Henson pointed out that the Care Bears animation was poor-quality and was noticeably jumpy from the slow frame rate and repeating of cels to cut costs, and tried to point out the smooth, living quality of the Disney feature, but Wells remained unimpressed. Wells still wanted to find ways to cut costs at animation.

    Kinsey used the opportunity to push the DATA initiative, noting how the per-frame costs on the more heavily computer animated Where the Wild Things Are were notably lower than the previous nearly all-hand-drawn movies. This was partially true, since the use of computer-assisted backgrounds allowed for three-dimensional effects without needing several layered background cels and further allowed for backgrounds to be reused with slight changes to imply motion or even a different location without rebuilding it all from scratch. In truth, though, much of the reduced cost on Wild Things was due to the style of the animation, which was directly based on Sendak’s use of flat colors, thick outlines, and straight-line shading in the original book, all of which could be duplicated on cels far quicker and cheaper than the more layered, naturalistic images on Cauldron.

    Wells also opposed the production of the animated Shorts, finding that their returns were negligible. Henson pushed back, citing their use as a training ground, talent scouting mechanism, and prestige generator, noting the sheer number of Emmys and Oscars piling up in the display cases from the Shorts. For the time being Miller sided with Roy and Henson, but Wells made his point. There was an almost unspoken implication that Wild Things needed to perform well and turn a good profit, or animation may face serious cuts.

    Hyperion Pictures, on the other hand, was turning a good profit with two successes under its belt. One, Splash, was a major hit. Even so, Wells and Kinsey worked hard to reduce overhead, particularly on the less-well-performing Disney Live Action Studios side, whose biggest hits were either outside productions distributed via Fantasia Films or the Muppets.

    A final point of underperformance with respect to revenue-generation was the hotels. Disneyland and Disney World were both missing out on huge potential revenues due to a lack of on-site rooms. With Marriott now a major shareholder with board representation, the pressure was on to live up to Ray Watson’s perhaps hasty promise to make a hotel deal with the company, which board member Al Checchi not-so-subtly reminded them had been made at every opportunity. The first meeting on the subject had been surprisingly contentious. Dick Nunis was reiterating the old Card Walker canard about Disney not being in the hotel business. Al Checchi was pushing back.

    Marriott presented several planned hotels to add to Disneyland and Walt Disney World, but Henson remained unimpressed by the designs. “It’s a box,” he said of one traditional glass-sided modernist building.

    “What did you want, Jim,” asked Checchi, sarcastically, “the Roman Colosseum?”

    “Can we do that?” asked Henson. Wells was unsure if he was being sincere, dryly sarcastic, or simply ignoring the insult.

    Either way, Chairman Ray Watson reminded everyone that the company still held a contract with John Tishman to design and build two hotels, which had yet to be exercised. Bill Marriott, Jr., over the phone, suggested that his company could buy out the contract. Tishman’s designs, created by architect Alan Lapidus, were looked upon more favorably by Henson, but still, he felt, “weren’t Disney.” When pressed on what he meant, Henson, who had visited Walt Disney World numerous times, described the experience of the two existing hotels, the Polynesian and the Contemporary. Leaning way, way back in his chair, Henson described the latter hotel as “a space station” where you could board and depart on a “space shuttle” (the monorail) and then fly back in to dock “like an astronaut.” He described the Polynesian as “an island escape” that was actually in reach, a “trip to Tahiti in America,” describing it as “a magical place.”

    Each hotel was tied, per Walt’s vision, to one of the “lands” of Disney: The Contemporary to Tomorrowland and the Polynesian to Fantasyland. To Henson, the hotels had to be both a part of Disney itself and an experience in their own right. “An attraction you can sleep in.”

    “Like the Roman Colosseum,” said Checchi, this time without obvious sarcasm.

    “Sure,” said Henson, suddenly very animated, hands flying in broad gestures and speaking to the air rather than anyone at the table. “Or a Viking longhouse, or a Welsh castle, or a Japanese pagoda, or even a pirate ship.” He went on to describe how they could tie them directly to the World Showcase or other attractions, or even “have traditional dancers, like at the Polynesian.”

    Wells still had no idea how to approach the dreamer Henson, whose far-reaching creative impulses clearly clashed with his own fiscal conservancy. And yet this was exactly the type of outside-of-the-box creativity that Wells knew a creative company like Disney needed. He convinced the board to give Henson a few days to “whip up some concepts.” Henson went almost immediately to Disney’s chief architect Wing Chao, who took him to see the designs the Imagineers had made for the Victorian-inspired Grand Floridian Resort, which was tied to Main Street, USA. This was exactly what Henson was looking for.

    With the Floridian and other fantastic designs under his arm, Henson excitedly dragged Chao in with him to present the designs. The Marriott faction scoffed at the implicit cost of the Floridian in particular, as did Tishman, who again lobbied for Lapidus. A three-way compromise was reached where Tishman and Marriott would split the construction costs for both the Grand Floridian and the Lapidus-designed Fair Seas Resorts, the latter following a flowing, stepped modern design typical of Lapidus’ work[3], and then share the proceeds three-ways for ten years, after which the rights would revert to Disney and Marriott. A third hotel, the Roman-inspired Villa Romana Resort, which resembled “Pompeii in its heyday” and had twice-daily “volcanic eruptions” in the lobby and restaurant[4], was a silent nod to the Colosseum comment and was designed by the Imagineers and built at Disneyland. Once completed in the late ‘80s, all three hotels regularly sold out their rooms nearly year-round, providing further revenue streams.

    After weeks of discussions like these and a top-to-bottom study of the company’s bureaucratic pipelines, communications flows, overhead, expenses, and returns, Wells concluded that a structural reorganization was necessary. He and Kinsey met with Watson and Miller and ultimately convinced them of the need for the reorg. A special committee was formed to develop the plan, chaired by Wells and organized by Kinsey. Ultimately, they presented a plan to the board: the overarching structure of the company would become known as the Walt Disney Corporation with four subordinate organizations to be called Walt Disney Studios (which would include animation, effects, puppetry, nature documentaries, and the Fantasia Films label), Hyperion Studios (which would absorb most of the live action productions and Buena Vista Distribution as well as music and books), Walt Disney Recreation (which would include the parks and hotels), and Walt Disney Engineering (which included the old WDI plus the core of the Henson Creature Shop).

    Henson, who’d been speaking up and interjecting his ideas more and more since the hostile takeover attempt, pushed back on the names, feeling that “Corporation” was too cold and, well, corporate, and also noting its resemblance to the word “corpse”. He recommended the more inviting Walt Disney Entertainment Company, noting that “company” seemed friendlier and more intimate than “corporation”. He further suggested the name Walt Disney Engineering be changed to the jauntier Walt Disney Imagineering Workshop, noting with a chuckle that you could call it the “I-Works” in honor of the artist Ub Iwerks, who first drew Mickey Mouse. He even surprised Miller when he offered no resistance to the Creature Shop being absorbed by the I-Works and taken out of his direct supervision.

    Henson went further. Looking at the overhead slide of the new organizational chart, which showed the central circle of the parent company and the four radiating spokes of the child organizations, Henson asked to borrow a marker and promptly outlined the whole thing with a quick sketch of Mickey Mouse’s iconic four-fingered glove. The nods of the board made it clear that the idea would stick. In the spirit of Disney whimsey, the new organizational structure would officially be called the “Mickey Glove”, with the parent company being the “hand” and each of the child organizations being the “fingers”. Henson would retain the Chair and Presidency of Walt Disney Studios, which since it contained the “heart and soul” of the company, Animation, became the “index finger”. The I-Works, to be led by Chair and President Carl Bongirno, would, after heavy lobbying by John Hench and Marty Sklar, become the “thumb”, since it “interacted with all of the other fingers” through its animatronics and design. Hyperion Studios would retain Tom Wilhite as Chair and President and, in keeping with their “adult” reputation, gladly accepted the position of “middle finger”. This left Walt Disney Recreation with the leftover “little finger”, which annoyed Chair and President Dick Nunis. Nunis was ultimately placated when it was pointed out that, since it was Mickey’s right hand and he was “waving” to the viewer, this made WD Recreation the “first finger” on the chart.

    The Mickey Glove concept played well with employees, fans, and investors alike, the latter of whom saw the reorganization as a sign that management was open to taking bold new steps in business as well as art. Stock prices increased 2.5% upon the announcement of the reorg, and the “Mickey Glove” concept gained lots of attention in the press precisely because it didn’t reflect the standard dry corporate thinking of most large companies. It was, most felt, a sign that this was a New Magic Kingdom.

    Wells, however, was not completely satisfied. The Disney board, now up to 16 members, was getting unwieldy. While such board numbers had been common in the past, the growing consensus among business experts was that such large board sizes led to groupthink and stagnation, exactly the issue that he was hired to reverse. Action would be necessary to remedy this situation.



    * * *​

    The Board of Directors for the Walt Disney Entertainment Company, Spring 1985:
    Ray Watson, Chairman (former head of the Irvine Company)
    Ronald “Ron” Miller, CEO
    Frank Wells, President and COO
    James M. “Jim” Henson, CCO, President, Walt Disney Studios, & Creative Director
    Richard “Dick” Nunis, President, Disney Outdoor Entertainment
    Roy E. Disney, Vice President, Walt Disney Animation Studios (head of Shamrock Holdings)
    Al Gottesman (President, Henson Arts Holdings)
    Dianne Disney Miller (Partner, Retlaw Enterprises)
    Peter Dailey (former US ambassador to Ireland and Roy Disney’s brother-in-law)
    Philip Hawley (Carter Hawley Hale)
    Samuel Williamson (senior partner, Hufstedler, Miller, Carson, & Beardsley)
    Caroline Ahmanson (head and founder of Caroline Leonetti Ltd.; Chairman of the Federal Reserve Bank of San Francisco)
    Charles Cobb (CEO of Arvida Corp.; representing the interests of Bass Brothers)
    Alfred Attilio “Al” Checchi (representing Marriott International)


    Advisory Board Members (non-voting, ad-hoc attendance):
    E. Cardon “Card” Walker, Chairman Emeritus
    Donn Tatum, Chairman Emeritus
    Sid Bass (CEO of Bass Brothers Enterprises)
    Steven Spielberg (Partner, Amblin Entertainment)
    Steve Jobs (CEO & President of Apple Computer, Inc.)
    George Lucas (CEO of Lucasfilm, Ltd.)
    J. Willard “Bill” Marriott, Jr. (CEO of Marriott International)


    The Disney Executive Committee:
    Ronald “Ron” Miller, CEO
    Frank Wells, President and COO
    James M. “Jim” Henson, CCO and President, Walt Disney Studios
    Richard “Dick” Nunis, President, Disney Outdoor Entertainment
    Thomas “Tom” Wilhite, President, Hyperion Pictures
    Roy E. Disney, Vice President, Walt Disney Animation Studios



    * * *​

    Stocks at a Glance: Walt Disney Entertainment (DIS)
    March 14th, 1985
    Stock price: $121.27
    Major Shareholders: Henson family (19.2%), Roy E. Disney (13.4%), Disney-Miller family (12.2%), Sid Bass (9.6%), Bill Marriott (6.3%), Amblin Entertainment (1.3%), Apple Comp. (0.7%), Lucasfilm Ltd. (0.42%), Suspected “Knights Errant” (4.6%), Others (32%)
    Outstanding shares: 37.6 million



    [1] Compare with Bagnall’s experience with Eisner, where Eisner’s understanding of basic finance was (according to Bagnall) so poor that Bagnall didn’t much bother to conceal his contempt.

    [2] Wells was impressed by Kinsey in our timeline too, and for a while Kinsey was his right-hand man. Eventually, the hypercompetitive and negatively charged “winner takes all” culture developing in the new Eisner/Wells Disney proved distasteful for Kinsey, who was also annoyed that his CAPS project was being summarily dismissed. Kinsey in our timeline teamed up with the equally disgruntled Don Iwerks and the two left to found Iwerks Entertainment.

    [3] Compare to our timeline where Eisner, much like Henson, pushed for out-of-the-box ideas, in particular a giant Mickey Mouse shaped hotel that would straddle the main road at Disneyland “like the Colossus of Rhodes”. While dismissed as impractical, the sheer outside-of-the-box audacity of the idea impressed people. Ultimately, Eisner, who severely disliked the Lapidus designs and dismissed them as “schlock”, went instead with trendy postmodern architect Michael Graves for the first new hotels. Graves’ postmodern, pyramidal, fountain-topped design was accepted despite Tishman’s resistance, and Eisner pushed to “lighten them up” further, adding giant swan and dolphin statues on top. The results were the Swan and Dolphin hotels, which are either clever postmodern whimsey or campy, kitschy eyesores, depending on whom you ask.

    [4] Sort of like what happens at Margaritaville in Orlando, but with more visual show and simulated lava flowing from the walls, sort of like in Disney Sea.
     
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