A Hippie in the House of Mouse (Jim Henson at Disney, 1980)
- Thread starter Geekhis Khan
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Oh, please, no! Farquaad is such a perfect (ly awful) character as he is! "Some of you may die... But that is a sacrifice I am willing to make."
The problem is that Farquaad was inspired by the ongoing feud between Katzenberg and Eisner OTL, so it's very likely he will not exist in ITTL Shrek since Henson and Eisner don't even have that kind of rivalry or animosity between each other.
Not gonna lie, I think the Walt parody character will be more appropriate for this kind of film since Uncle Walt does have personality traits that would suit him to be a villain (or at least an antagonist) compared to Henson, but let's see if the Disney film would even tolerate that kind of representation for Shrek. At least Henson can make fun of himself and be the proverbial punching bag if need be.
It could still happen if the two of them have a falling out and Katzenberg goes to Disney.
But Shrek is already slated to be produced by the early 90s, and there's very little mention of Katzenberg having a break with Michael Eisner just yet. At this rate, it's unlikely Katzenberg will have the opportunity to help create the Farquaad character. Heck, I think Henson might refuse to create that character because of how mean-spirited it would be to diss Michael Eisner like that out a vendetta.
A Cockroach, an Aardvark, and an Albino walk into a bar...
The Sword of Cerebus (1991), a Retrospective
From Swords and Spaceships Magazine, June 2001
Oh boy, where to begin with The Sword of Cerebus[1]? Chances are that if you read this magazine, then you are aware of this movie and likely the comic series that it adapted. And you’ve probably seen the way that the series has spiraled into darkness and controversy in the intervening decade, but we’re not going to talk much about “Cerebus Syndrome” or Dave Sim’s views on gender politics.
But we most certainly will talk about the 1991 movie now cerebrating…err…celebrating its ten-year anniversary. It’s a cult film among cult films, a minor box office success that went on to gain a serious cult status in VHS and VCD. Rated T for adult situations, alcohol abuse, comedic violence, and some adult language, the film was approachable for a wide swath of the population, though too esoteric in subject matter to find a broad audience.
(Image source: “CBR.com”)
Rumor has it that someone in Disney Animation introduced the comic to Jim Henson in the late ‘80s. At the time the He Man movie had just premiered to mixed reviews and fair profit and Conan the Conqueror had just been announced. Willow was in production. And with so many fantasy films, in particular “barbarian swordsman” films in production, the time seemed ripe for a parody of the genre, and Cerebus (at least at this point) was exactly the wicked parody that they were seeking.
At first, Jim Henson and Dave Sim got along well, and would continue to appreciate each other’s humor and creativity right up until the early 1990s when Sim’s misogynistic and homophobic political views began to work their way into his increasingly dark and misanthropic comics. But for the time being, the humor was universal enough that Henson could, for example, selectively interpret the Red Sophia character as a satire on the objectifying presentations of women in fantasy. The Disney Studios board was reticent about the film due to its decidedly non-mainstream nature, and recommended a co-production to defray risk. Henson showed the comic to George Lucas, who found the comic and concept amusing, but was afraid that it was superficially too much like Howard the Duck and didn’t want to get typecast as a producer of fantasy films. But MGM Studios Vice Chair Bernie Brillstein thought that it would be a perfect project for his friend and past collaborator Mel Brooks, who had been considering a fantasy spoof, potentially a cinematic reboot of When Things Were Rotten[2].
Red Sophia, Elrod of Melvinbone, and Jaka (Image sources: “comicvine.gamespot.com” and “miro.medium.com”)
Brooks was amused by the idea. Why not? It featured an anthropomorphic aardvark as a hard-drinking barbarian warrior teaming up with various parody versions of famous fantasy characters in a series of adventures that thoroughly deconstructed the tropes of fantasy. It was right up his alley with the heavy-handed parody, surreal fourth wall shattering humor, and over the top characters and concept. A film option was signed between Sim, Brooks, and Henson and The Sword of Cerebus went into pre-production, funded primarily through Silver Screen Partners. It would be the first Brooksfilm/Disney coproduction since MGM’s Red Ball Express and would distribute under the Fantasia Films logo. All knew the fantasy parody concept, like that of the underperforming Spaceballs, would be risky. As such, it was decided to keep the budget low and expect a modest profit with hope for good sales in video and merchandise. Enrico Morricone was even hired to spoof his own Conan soundtrack[3]. A budget of $17.5 million was assigned, and sets, locations, and props from Willow and Labyrinth would be reused and, since the fourth wall was not safe in this film, occasionally commented upon. Warwick Davis even makes a cameo dressed as an unnamed Willow Ufgood in a scene that used a recycled Willow set.
The Cockroach and Necross the Mad (Image source: “momentofcerebus.blogspot.com”)
Cerebus himself would be brought to life through “worn animatronics” like those used in Labyrinth, The Land Before Time, or the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Shari Weiser would perform in the suit with David P. Robinson controlling the animatronic head through a waldo. At the request of Sim, George C. Scott was hired to do voiceover for Cerebus in post, which added star power (and at relatively low cost compared to an on-camera appearance by the actor). The animatronic arrangement, like with Hackle and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, allowed a lot of subtle emotion out of the character’s eyes, nose, ears, and mouth, with Weiser achieving the body language. This made the anthropomorphic aardvark surprisingly realistic and relatable. And since Scott was often drunk and belligerent while recording, it added a certain level of realism to the portrayal (rumor has it they reshot some scenes in post to capture some Scott’s unintentionally hilarious unintentional ad libs!).
Casting the rest of the crew resulted in Crispin Glover as Elrod of Melvinbone, Lori Singer as Jaka, Brian Thompson of He Man fame for The Cockroach, and in a bit of self-aware stunt casting, Brigitte Nielsen herself “reprised” her role as Red Sonja by playing spoof Red Sophia! Casting was rounded out with Tim Curry playing the villainous Necross the Mad[4], Groucho Marx impersonator Frank Ferante selected to play the Groucho-like Lord Julius, and director/producer Mel Brooks in a muscular body suit making his obligatory cameo as Bran Mak Mufin, King of the Pigts.
Lord Julius and Bran Mak Mufin (Image source: “andrewhickey.info” & “momentofcerebus.blogspot.com”)
Together the five “heroes” serve as deconstructions of the typical “team of five” archetypes. Cerebus the “leader” is an alcoholic misanthrope with rage issues who lacks the skills or temperament of a leader. Elrod, his “lancer”, is an irritating, self-serving twit who ignores or undermines Cerebus’s authority at every turn. Red Sophia fills in for the “tough guy” as a lusty, reckless barbarian bruiser, and yet is practically the voice of reason compared to the significantly more unreliable Cerebus. Exotic dancer Jaka flips the script as the “heart” by being far from virginal or matronly. And finally, “comic relief” lunatic The Cockroach manages to actually be one of the more reliable and effective team members despite (or perhaps because of) his untethered lunacy.
And if viewers are unaware that Elrod is a spoof of Michael Moorcock’s Elric of Melnibone (most assumed him a spoof of Dolph Lungren’s Xaltotun in Conan the Conqueror, also reportedly influenced by Elric) or that Bran Mak Muffin was a spoof of Robert E. Howard’s Bran Mak Morn, then the sheer ludicrousness of the characters – with Elrod’s Foghorn Leghorn like accent and effeminate mannerisms and Bran’s ludicrous name and over the top quasi-Yiddish portrayal by Brooks – was enough to sell them.
RED SOPHIA: Enough talk, you short, grey celibate! What do you think of…these?!
CERBUS: (beat) They’d probably heal if you stopped wearing that chainmail bikini!
The plot loosely follows the storyline of Cerebus #5 and Cerebus #13. Cerebus is hired by the Groucho-like Lord Julius for “a wagonload of gold and the keys to my wine cellar” to defeat the evil wizard Necross the Mad, who is intending to transfer his inner being into a giant stone idol known as Thrunk, with which he will lay waste to the lands of Estarcion and rule over them as a god. On his quest, Cerebus enlists the aid of four companions in a series of vignettes lifted from the comics: the kindhearted dancer Jaka (who is secretly Lord Julius’s estranged daughter), the promiscuous, bloodthirsty, and airheaded Red Sophia, the fae-like swordsman Elrod of Melvinbone, and finally the insane superhero-parody The Cockroach, who in this incarnation is clearly parodying Raimi’s Batman. Cerebus almost immediately develops a seething hatred for all of these erstwhile companions except for Jaka, for whom he falls madly in love at first sight. As the film progresses, Cerebus develops a begrudging respect for the rest.
CEREBUS: Ok, who in the hell are you? Reveal yourself!
DARK FORM IN SHADOWS: I am the vengeance who scuttles in darkness! I am the voice who hisses in the night!
CEREBUS: And I’m a few drinks shy of patience right now!
[The DARK FORM emerges to reveal THE COCKROACH]
COCKROACH: I…am…The Cockroach!
CEREBUS: (beat) Seriously?!?
Eventually, however, Cerebus discovers that he is no ordinary aardvark, but the subject of a prophecy of the tribal Pigts: their god-king returned to bring forth a new Golden Age. And all that Cerebus has to do to gain the incredible powers necessary to defeat Necross/Thrunk is to approach the Pigt idol with three items: a sword, a horned helmet, and a golden medallion, and then the idol will come to life and serve only him. These were, conveniently, three items that he’d acquired during the earlier adventures.
[Behind them, the great stone doors grind slowly open to the Idol Chamber]
BRAN MAK MUFFIN: And now, Chosen One, you need merely approach the Great Idol with the helm, the sword, and the medallion, and your destiny shall be fulfilled! Now, I see the sword…where may I ask is the helm and medallion?
CEREBUS: I, erm, I…
ELROD: Ah say, I cannot tell a lie. Cerebus sold the helm for drinkin’ money.
COCKROACH: And Elrod melted down the medallion for the gold.
ELROD: (faking outrage) Ah say, no one likes a tattletale, Roach!
BRAN MAK MUFFIN: Oy, this is bad, this is bad…OK! (gestures broadly) We can work around this…
[the doors open fully to reveal the IDOL, completely destroyed]
BRAN MAK MUFFIN: (shrieks and slaps forehead with palm) Who destroyed the verkakte idol?!?
[All look at CEREBUS]
CEREBUS: What can I say? I was drunk!
[An uncomfortable silence settles in]
COCKROACH: This is unfortunate. Seeing those two giant automatons crossing swords in a battle royale would have been quite the climactic sight to see.
Of course Cerebus and team manage to screw things up, which was a plot point lifted directly from the comics and was not, as is rumored, a way to reduce costs by cutting out a climactic kaiju-like battle.
Left with few other options, Red Sophia suggests that they make a dangerous assault upon Necross’s castle and attempt to disrupt the ceremony that will merge Necross to Thrunk. If they can stop the ceremony, then they can defeat Necross and emerge victorious. They only have to get past a 30,000-man army and castle walls 40 feet high.
CEREBUS: That's the stupidest plan I’ve heard in my life!
ELROD: Ah say, that's the only choice we got, son. If it weren't for your impulsiveness destroyin' that there stat-choo, we'd be marchin' onto Necross' lair like a hare lookin' for a mate.
[CEREBUS pauses. He realizes that, for once he's the one that got them into this mess.]
CEREBUS: ...For once, Elrod, Cerebus agrees with you.
So in a sequence lifted straight out of the Snake Tower set piece in Conan the Barbarian, and with music to match, Cerebus and his companions awkwardly camouflage themselves and storm Necross's lair to confront Nercross as he prepares for the ceremony. Cerebus manages to corner Necross in his dressing room.
CEREBUS: So, you’re Necross the Mad, eh?
NECROSS: (laughs maniacally) Me? Necross? (laughs maniacally again) And what makes you think that I’m Necross the Mad? (laughs again)
CEREBUS: Call it a wild guess.
But Necross escapes through magic and captures Jaka, whom he plans as a “virgin sacrifice” to complete the ceremony. When she assures him that she most certainly doesn’t qualify in that regard, he smirks evilly and says “close enough”. But Cerebus rescues her as the assembled disciples complete the ceremony and bring Thrunk to life, but without the sacrifice, Necross is unable to merge his essence into the statue, which now goes insane attacking everyone in reach and destroying the castle.
CEREBUS: Um…now what?
ELROD: It needs, ah say, a virgin sacrifice. Red?
RED SOPHIA: After you, girly man!
COCKROACH: If only there were a convenient horn to rip out of its forehead, or something.
NECROSS: There’s another way, a ventilation orifice in the rear of the statue. A small warrior could sneak inside and shatter the gem inside!
JAKA: Well, that’s a handy design flaw.
COCKROACH: I’ll do it!
NECROSS: You won’t fit. Only a small warrior can pass through the ventilation orifice.
[All turn to CEREBUS]
CEREBUS: (beat) Oh, come on!!
So Cerebus climbs his way into the statue through a rather undignified rear orifice and works his way past grinding stone joints to a central emerald, which he shatters with his fist, causing the statue to shake and crumble. Cerebus scrambles to escape and is finally ejected out of the orifice just before Thunk explodes. The others gather around the fallen, battered Cerebus.
CEREBUS: (recovering and opening eyes) The first person who says anything will be a foot shorter and ten pounds lighter.
With that, the team captures Necross and delivers him to a pleased Lord Julius, who is also happy to see Jaka alive. He throws a huge party for Cerebus and his colleagues and promises Jaka’s hand to Cerebus. But Jaka reluctantly confesses that she’s already married to another and carries his child. Annoyed, Cerebus grabs the keys to Julius’s wine cellar and walks into the cellar like Conan walking into the sunset as the closing music plays. He then slams the door behind him as the screen cuts to black.
CEREBUS (V.O.): (sighs) Nothing but cheap rosé.
The Sword of Cerebus opened at #4 at the box office and only went on to break even domestically, but brought in another $36 million internationally for a mild profit. It received a nomination for the Hugo Award for Best Dramatic Presentation and nominations for special effects, but won only a few minor prizes. It saw brisk VHS sales and quickly gained a strong cult following, enough that a direct-to-video sequel The Wrath of Cerebus was greenlit in 1993, along with an animated TV series The Adventures of Cerebus the Aardvark. Unlike the T-rated film, the cartoon went for younger audiences, drastically lowering the adult humor and violence (though in the post-Hoerk & Gatty environment it still pushed the limits of the time). Furthermore, in a move designed to earn some PSA points, it had Cerebus give up alcohol, which irritated longtime fans and was one of the few aspects that Dave Sim publicly expressed annoyance with. The Adventures cartoon only lasted a season and a half as it failed to attract younger viewers or maintain merch sales. The Wrath of Cerebus was fairly well received despite the changes to voice actors (Scott famously refused to reprise his “silly” role as Cerebus) and made a modest profit.
SCOTT (in an interview): I had about enough of voicing a goddamned aardvark!
But alas, Disney’s experimental foray into Cerebus, like all good things, would come to an end. Cerebus #186 would publish in September of 1994, while The Wrath of Cerebus was in production. The comic featured an author tract that compared the “light” of the male to the “void” of the female and marked the start of a long and controversial darker and more overtly misogynistic turn in the comics. Jim Henson, who had raised three confident and outgoing daughters, was appalled. With the cancellation of The Adventures and the modest performance of The Wrath, Henson and Sims agreed to part ways.
Now, ten years later, a certain segment of the Cerebus fandom still appreciates all three Disney Cerebus adaptions, in particular fans of the earlier, more comedic stories. Others, particularly fans of the later, darker works, dismiss them as frivolous “kids’ stuff”, particularly the animated series. Cerebus has never shown up in a Disney park and has long since ceased appearing in Disney merch. Sims has gone on to generate even more controversy with his views on politics, gender, and sexuality, and the ever-darker and more serious content of Cerebus led to the rise of the term “Cerebus Syndrome” to describe a turn from the light and comedic to the dark and dramatic, but that’s the topic for another day.
Of all of the works in this short collaboration, though, the original The Sword of Cerebus, which gleefully skewered the tropes and expectations of fantasy, remains the most popular adaption with fans of the comics and average viewers alike, remaining a cult favorite to this day.
[1] Horned helm tip to @TheMolluskLingers for the idea, the plotline, casting assistance, and some ghostwriting on this idea.
[2] In our timeline this idea eventually became Robin Hood: Men in Tights.
[3] Mel Brooks famously hired veteran Cowboy Movie soundtrack writer Frankie Laine to do the theme song for Blazing Saddles and famously didn't tell him it was a parody. It was the absolute sincerity of his music that made it that much funnier. In this case Morricone knows it's a satire, but is given a “PDQ Bach” type excuse to play things funny, but only to those who "get the joke". To everyone else it's an awesome kick-ass soundtrack, but to musicians it's a hilarious subversion of the tenets of a movie soundtrack.
[4] Comparisons to the Dolph Lungren character of the same name from The Living Daylights and related crossover theories were inevitable in the fandom, as were comparisons to the also-albino Elrod.
From Swords and Spaceships Magazine, June 2001
Oh boy, where to begin with The Sword of Cerebus[1]? Chances are that if you read this magazine, then you are aware of this movie and likely the comic series that it adapted. And you’ve probably seen the way that the series has spiraled into darkness and controversy in the intervening decade, but we’re not going to talk much about “Cerebus Syndrome” or Dave Sim’s views on gender politics.
But we most certainly will talk about the 1991 movie now cerebrating…err…celebrating its ten-year anniversary. It’s a cult film among cult films, a minor box office success that went on to gain a serious cult status in VHS and VCD. Rated T for adult situations, alcohol abuse, comedic violence, and some adult language, the film was approachable for a wide swath of the population, though too esoteric in subject matter to find a broad audience.
(Image source: “CBR.com”)
Rumor has it that someone in Disney Animation introduced the comic to Jim Henson in the late ‘80s. At the time the He Man movie had just premiered to mixed reviews and fair profit and Conan the Conqueror had just been announced. Willow was in production. And with so many fantasy films, in particular “barbarian swordsman” films in production, the time seemed ripe for a parody of the genre, and Cerebus (at least at this point) was exactly the wicked parody that they were seeking.
At first, Jim Henson and Dave Sim got along well, and would continue to appreciate each other’s humor and creativity right up until the early 1990s when Sim’s misogynistic and homophobic political views began to work their way into his increasingly dark and misanthropic comics. But for the time being, the humor was universal enough that Henson could, for example, selectively interpret the Red Sophia character as a satire on the objectifying presentations of women in fantasy. The Disney Studios board was reticent about the film due to its decidedly non-mainstream nature, and recommended a co-production to defray risk. Henson showed the comic to George Lucas, who found the comic and concept amusing, but was afraid that it was superficially too much like Howard the Duck and didn’t want to get typecast as a producer of fantasy films. But MGM Studios Vice Chair Bernie Brillstein thought that it would be a perfect project for his friend and past collaborator Mel Brooks, who had been considering a fantasy spoof, potentially a cinematic reboot of When Things Were Rotten[2].
Red Sophia, Elrod of Melvinbone, and Jaka (Image sources: “comicvine.gamespot.com” and “miro.medium.com”)
Brooks was amused by the idea. Why not? It featured an anthropomorphic aardvark as a hard-drinking barbarian warrior teaming up with various parody versions of famous fantasy characters in a series of adventures that thoroughly deconstructed the tropes of fantasy. It was right up his alley with the heavy-handed parody, surreal fourth wall shattering humor, and over the top characters and concept. A film option was signed between Sim, Brooks, and Henson and The Sword of Cerebus went into pre-production, funded primarily through Silver Screen Partners. It would be the first Brooksfilm/Disney coproduction since MGM’s Red Ball Express and would distribute under the Fantasia Films logo. All knew the fantasy parody concept, like that of the underperforming Spaceballs, would be risky. As such, it was decided to keep the budget low and expect a modest profit with hope for good sales in video and merchandise. Enrico Morricone was even hired to spoof his own Conan soundtrack[3]. A budget of $17.5 million was assigned, and sets, locations, and props from Willow and Labyrinth would be reused and, since the fourth wall was not safe in this film, occasionally commented upon. Warwick Davis even makes a cameo dressed as an unnamed Willow Ufgood in a scene that used a recycled Willow set.
The Cockroach and Necross the Mad (Image source: “momentofcerebus.blogspot.com”)
Cerebus himself would be brought to life through “worn animatronics” like those used in Labyrinth, The Land Before Time, or the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Shari Weiser would perform in the suit with David P. Robinson controlling the animatronic head through a waldo. At the request of Sim, George C. Scott was hired to do voiceover for Cerebus in post, which added star power (and at relatively low cost compared to an on-camera appearance by the actor). The animatronic arrangement, like with Hackle and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, allowed a lot of subtle emotion out of the character’s eyes, nose, ears, and mouth, with Weiser achieving the body language. This made the anthropomorphic aardvark surprisingly realistic and relatable. And since Scott was often drunk and belligerent while recording, it added a certain level of realism to the portrayal (rumor has it they reshot some scenes in post to capture some Scott’s unintentionally hilarious unintentional ad libs!).
Casting the rest of the crew resulted in Crispin Glover as Elrod of Melvinbone, Lori Singer as Jaka, Brian Thompson of He Man fame for The Cockroach, and in a bit of self-aware stunt casting, Brigitte Nielsen herself “reprised” her role as Red Sonja by playing spoof Red Sophia! Casting was rounded out with Tim Curry playing the villainous Necross the Mad[4], Groucho Marx impersonator Frank Ferante selected to play the Groucho-like Lord Julius, and director/producer Mel Brooks in a muscular body suit making his obligatory cameo as Bran Mak Mufin, King of the Pigts.
Lord Julius and Bran Mak Mufin (Image source: “andrewhickey.info” & “momentofcerebus.blogspot.com”)
Together the five “heroes” serve as deconstructions of the typical “team of five” archetypes. Cerebus the “leader” is an alcoholic misanthrope with rage issues who lacks the skills or temperament of a leader. Elrod, his “lancer”, is an irritating, self-serving twit who ignores or undermines Cerebus’s authority at every turn. Red Sophia fills in for the “tough guy” as a lusty, reckless barbarian bruiser, and yet is practically the voice of reason compared to the significantly more unreliable Cerebus. Exotic dancer Jaka flips the script as the “heart” by being far from virginal or matronly. And finally, “comic relief” lunatic The Cockroach manages to actually be one of the more reliable and effective team members despite (or perhaps because of) his untethered lunacy.
And if viewers are unaware that Elrod is a spoof of Michael Moorcock’s Elric of Melnibone (most assumed him a spoof of Dolph Lungren’s Xaltotun in Conan the Conqueror, also reportedly influenced by Elric) or that Bran Mak Muffin was a spoof of Robert E. Howard’s Bran Mak Morn, then the sheer ludicrousness of the characters – with Elrod’s Foghorn Leghorn like accent and effeminate mannerisms and Bran’s ludicrous name and over the top quasi-Yiddish portrayal by Brooks – was enough to sell them.
RED SOPHIA: Enough talk, you short, grey celibate! What do you think of…these?!
CERBUS: (beat) They’d probably heal if you stopped wearing that chainmail bikini!
The plot loosely follows the storyline of Cerebus #5 and Cerebus #13. Cerebus is hired by the Groucho-like Lord Julius for “a wagonload of gold and the keys to my wine cellar” to defeat the evil wizard Necross the Mad, who is intending to transfer his inner being into a giant stone idol known as Thrunk, with which he will lay waste to the lands of Estarcion and rule over them as a god. On his quest, Cerebus enlists the aid of four companions in a series of vignettes lifted from the comics: the kindhearted dancer Jaka (who is secretly Lord Julius’s estranged daughter), the promiscuous, bloodthirsty, and airheaded Red Sophia, the fae-like swordsman Elrod of Melvinbone, and finally the insane superhero-parody The Cockroach, who in this incarnation is clearly parodying Raimi’s Batman. Cerebus almost immediately develops a seething hatred for all of these erstwhile companions except for Jaka, for whom he falls madly in love at first sight. As the film progresses, Cerebus develops a begrudging respect for the rest.
CEREBUS: Ok, who in the hell are you? Reveal yourself!
DARK FORM IN SHADOWS: I am the vengeance who scuttles in darkness! I am the voice who hisses in the night!
CEREBUS: And I’m a few drinks shy of patience right now!
[The DARK FORM emerges to reveal THE COCKROACH]
COCKROACH: I…am…The Cockroach!
CEREBUS: (beat) Seriously?!?
Eventually, however, Cerebus discovers that he is no ordinary aardvark, but the subject of a prophecy of the tribal Pigts: their god-king returned to bring forth a new Golden Age. And all that Cerebus has to do to gain the incredible powers necessary to defeat Necross/Thrunk is to approach the Pigt idol with three items: a sword, a horned helmet, and a golden medallion, and then the idol will come to life and serve only him. These were, conveniently, three items that he’d acquired during the earlier adventures.
[Behind them, the great stone doors grind slowly open to the Idol Chamber]
BRAN MAK MUFFIN: And now, Chosen One, you need merely approach the Great Idol with the helm, the sword, and the medallion, and your destiny shall be fulfilled! Now, I see the sword…where may I ask is the helm and medallion?
CEREBUS: I, erm, I…
ELROD: Ah say, I cannot tell a lie. Cerebus sold the helm for drinkin’ money.
COCKROACH: And Elrod melted down the medallion for the gold.
ELROD: (faking outrage) Ah say, no one likes a tattletale, Roach!
BRAN MAK MUFFIN: Oy, this is bad, this is bad…OK! (gestures broadly) We can work around this…
[the doors open fully to reveal the IDOL, completely destroyed]
BRAN MAK MUFFIN: (shrieks and slaps forehead with palm) Who destroyed the verkakte idol?!?
[All look at CEREBUS]
CEREBUS: What can I say? I was drunk!
[An uncomfortable silence settles in]
COCKROACH: This is unfortunate. Seeing those two giant automatons crossing swords in a battle royale would have been quite the climactic sight to see.
Of course Cerebus and team manage to screw things up, which was a plot point lifted directly from the comics and was not, as is rumored, a way to reduce costs by cutting out a climactic kaiju-like battle.
Left with few other options, Red Sophia suggests that they make a dangerous assault upon Necross’s castle and attempt to disrupt the ceremony that will merge Necross to Thrunk. If they can stop the ceremony, then they can defeat Necross and emerge victorious. They only have to get past a 30,000-man army and castle walls 40 feet high.
CEREBUS: That's the stupidest plan I’ve heard in my life!
ELROD: Ah say, that's the only choice we got, son. If it weren't for your impulsiveness destroyin' that there stat-choo, we'd be marchin' onto Necross' lair like a hare lookin' for a mate.
[CEREBUS pauses. He realizes that, for once he's the one that got them into this mess.]
CEREBUS: ...For once, Elrod, Cerebus agrees with you.
So in a sequence lifted straight out of the Snake Tower set piece in Conan the Barbarian, and with music to match, Cerebus and his companions awkwardly camouflage themselves and storm Necross's lair to confront Nercross as he prepares for the ceremony. Cerebus manages to corner Necross in his dressing room.
CEREBUS: So, you’re Necross the Mad, eh?
NECROSS: (laughs maniacally) Me? Necross? (laughs maniacally again) And what makes you think that I’m Necross the Mad? (laughs again)
CEREBUS: Call it a wild guess.
But Necross escapes through magic and captures Jaka, whom he plans as a “virgin sacrifice” to complete the ceremony. When she assures him that she most certainly doesn’t qualify in that regard, he smirks evilly and says “close enough”. But Cerebus rescues her as the assembled disciples complete the ceremony and bring Thrunk to life, but without the sacrifice, Necross is unable to merge his essence into the statue, which now goes insane attacking everyone in reach and destroying the castle.
CEREBUS: Um…now what?
ELROD: It needs, ah say, a virgin sacrifice. Red?
RED SOPHIA: After you, girly man!
COCKROACH: If only there were a convenient horn to rip out of its forehead, or something.
NECROSS: There’s another way, a ventilation orifice in the rear of the statue. A small warrior could sneak inside and shatter the gem inside!
JAKA: Well, that’s a handy design flaw.
COCKROACH: I’ll do it!
NECROSS: You won’t fit. Only a small warrior can pass through the ventilation orifice.
[All turn to CEREBUS]
CEREBUS: (beat) Oh, come on!!
So Cerebus climbs his way into the statue through a rather undignified rear orifice and works his way past grinding stone joints to a central emerald, which he shatters with his fist, causing the statue to shake and crumble. Cerebus scrambles to escape and is finally ejected out of the orifice just before Thunk explodes. The others gather around the fallen, battered Cerebus.
CEREBUS: (recovering and opening eyes) The first person who says anything will be a foot shorter and ten pounds lighter.
With that, the team captures Necross and delivers him to a pleased Lord Julius, who is also happy to see Jaka alive. He throws a huge party for Cerebus and his colleagues and promises Jaka’s hand to Cerebus. But Jaka reluctantly confesses that she’s already married to another and carries his child. Annoyed, Cerebus grabs the keys to Julius’s wine cellar and walks into the cellar like Conan walking into the sunset as the closing music plays. He then slams the door behind him as the screen cuts to black.
CEREBUS (V.O.): (sighs) Nothing but cheap rosé.
The Sword of Cerebus opened at #4 at the box office and only went on to break even domestically, but brought in another $36 million internationally for a mild profit. It received a nomination for the Hugo Award for Best Dramatic Presentation and nominations for special effects, but won only a few minor prizes. It saw brisk VHS sales and quickly gained a strong cult following, enough that a direct-to-video sequel The Wrath of Cerebus was greenlit in 1993, along with an animated TV series The Adventures of Cerebus the Aardvark. Unlike the T-rated film, the cartoon went for younger audiences, drastically lowering the adult humor and violence (though in the post-Hoerk & Gatty environment it still pushed the limits of the time). Furthermore, in a move designed to earn some PSA points, it had Cerebus give up alcohol, which irritated longtime fans and was one of the few aspects that Dave Sim publicly expressed annoyance with. The Adventures cartoon only lasted a season and a half as it failed to attract younger viewers or maintain merch sales. The Wrath of Cerebus was fairly well received despite the changes to voice actors (Scott famously refused to reprise his “silly” role as Cerebus) and made a modest profit.
SCOTT (in an interview): I had about enough of voicing a goddamned aardvark!
But alas, Disney’s experimental foray into Cerebus, like all good things, would come to an end. Cerebus #186 would publish in September of 1994, while The Wrath of Cerebus was in production. The comic featured an author tract that compared the “light” of the male to the “void” of the female and marked the start of a long and controversial darker and more overtly misogynistic turn in the comics. Jim Henson, who had raised three confident and outgoing daughters, was appalled. With the cancellation of The Adventures and the modest performance of The Wrath, Henson and Sims agreed to part ways.
Now, ten years later, a certain segment of the Cerebus fandom still appreciates all three Disney Cerebus adaptions, in particular fans of the earlier, more comedic stories. Others, particularly fans of the later, darker works, dismiss them as frivolous “kids’ stuff”, particularly the animated series. Cerebus has never shown up in a Disney park and has long since ceased appearing in Disney merch. Sims has gone on to generate even more controversy with his views on politics, gender, and sexuality, and the ever-darker and more serious content of Cerebus led to the rise of the term “Cerebus Syndrome” to describe a turn from the light and comedic to the dark and dramatic, but that’s the topic for another day.
Of all of the works in this short collaboration, though, the original The Sword of Cerebus, which gleefully skewered the tropes and expectations of fantasy, remains the most popular adaption with fans of the comics and average viewers alike, remaining a cult favorite to this day.
[1] Horned helm tip to @TheMolluskLingers for the idea, the plotline, casting assistance, and some ghostwriting on this idea.
[2] In our timeline this idea eventually became Robin Hood: Men in Tights.
[3] Mel Brooks famously hired veteran Cowboy Movie soundtrack writer Frankie Laine to do the theme song for Blazing Saddles and famously didn't tell him it was a parody. It was the absolute sincerity of his music that made it that much funnier. In this case Morricone knows it's a satire, but is given a “PDQ Bach” type excuse to play things funny, but only to those who "get the joke". To everyone else it's an awesome kick-ass soundtrack, but to musicians it's a hilarious subversion of the tenets of a movie soundtrack.
[4] Comparisons to the Dolph Lungren character of the same name from The Living Daylights and related crossover theories were inevitable in the fandom, as were comparisons to the also-albino Elrod.
i can imagine that it means that Morricone doesn't have the normal restrictions, which might actually inspire him to try some stuff he had thought of, but never got the chance to do, so might end up as something epic, the man after all was a musical genius.
as for brigitte nielsen, it is always fun to watch actor spoofing themselves, because it usually comes with huge fun vibe because they usually have a lot of fun just doing that.
Well gosh, there's your alternate Shrek right there. Never thought we could have dueling movies in the Fantasy (Parody) genre!
Brooks is perfect for helming the production, a very good match made by Bernie! The Willow cameo is also a good nod to how interconnected the fantasy film genre is behind the cameras.
Good to make Sim's issues explicit, if Cerebus was ever going to get adapted it would be in the early run when it was considered clever.
Brooks is perfect for helming the production, a very good match made by Bernie! The Willow cameo is also a good nod to how interconnected the fantasy film genre is behind the cameras.
Good to make Sim's issues explicit, if Cerebus was ever going to get adapted it would be in the early run when it was considered clever.
I think it's related to Penny Arcade's 'Internet Fuckwad Theory' in that Sims had a platform, had an audience, and a whole industry tell him he was clever and smart, so he entered a feedback loop of 'I'm right, you're wrong, and the more you disagree with me the more you prove that you're wrong because there's a correct way for the world to work and I know what it is and world is heading in the wrong direction'. It gets very Old Man on Poarch Yelling at Clouds at that point. The modern equivalent is learning that actor you really liked has a podcast and it's all conspiracy theory BS.
Technically Cerebus is more a parody of sword and sorcery rather than fairy tales.
Well, nowadays you have Backstreet Boys members roaming alt-right Twitter clones, and even fucking Giovanni Boccaccio went hardcore incel in his old age - the Decameron was very progressive for its time, his later work might as well have been penned by an evil priest. What's with middle aged men and sudden outbursts of misogyny, fuck.
Well does thus butterfly Men in Tights?
I don't want to look up Sims, he sounds like he sucks, and I'm staying the hell away from him.
I don't want to look up Sims, he sounds like he sucks, and I'm staying the hell away from him.
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Does the Cockroach have a fantasy niche he's filling, like thief or something?
I can see lots of arguments over whether he belongs. "What's that superhero parody doing in my fantasy parody?"
Completely not belonging is probable the joke, but some people still won't like it.
This sounds like a fun one.
I hope Disney comes back to funny fantasy like this. Maybe a Muppet thing, an early Barbarian and the Troll.
I can see lots of arguments over whether he belongs. "What's that superhero parody doing in my fantasy parody?"
Completely not belonging is probable the joke, but some people still won't like it.
This sounds like a fun one.
I hope Disney comes back to funny fantasy like this. Maybe a Muppet thing, an early Barbarian and the Troll.
Midlife crisis, mixed with some latent incel traits? Pretty easy for single or divorced men to fall into an alt-right feedback loop.What's with middle aged men and sudden outbursts of misogyny, fuck.
Could liking "well aged grape juice" be an acceptable compromise?
Or since he's an aardvark a drink made of crushed up ants and termites.
So, basically, it's Dar the Beastmaster as an actual beast, Red Sonja, and The Tick teaming up against Doctor Strange and Mephisto? Sounds like a typical Giffen-DeMathis issue of Marvel Team-Up or The Defenders, except that The Tick belongs to New England Comics, last time I checked.
Seriously, what does anyone bet this doesn't provoke someone at Warner Bros. to do an actual team-up event in both DC Comics and the movies involving He-Man, She-Ra, and a crashlanded duo of Ambush Bug and Plastic Man, or Booster Gold and Blue Beetle, written, directed, and produced by Zucker, Abraham, and Zucker?
Seriously, what does anyone bet this doesn't provoke someone at Warner Bros. to do an actual team-up event in both DC Comics and the movies involving He-Man, She-Ra, and a crashlanded duo of Ambush Bug and Plastic Man, or Booster Gold and Blue Beetle, written, directed, and produced by Zucker, Abraham, and Zucker?
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Very likely. On the other hand we get a film on par with Brooks' greatest films, possibly moreso.
Coincidentally I suggested to Geekhis a similar idea when we were planning this out!
A film based on that comic on I knew almost nothing about, save for it naming two Tropes pertaining to a light-hearted work progressively adopting darker themes and tone?
…Yeah, I’d probably have watched and enjoyed it. After all I caught Robin Hood: Men in Tights on prime time/late night Tv as a child and found it hilarious, and the jokes that flew over my head back then are all the better now that I get them. Too bad that David Sims became a POS a-hole and/or revealed said traits later on, tainting his works henceforth, but it is as it is.
An unexpected but fun post Geekhis, not that I’ve come to expect anything less from you.
…Yeah, I’d probably have watched and enjoyed it. After all I caught Robin Hood: Men in Tights on prime time/late night Tv as a child and found it hilarious, and the jokes that flew over my head back then are all the better now that I get them. Too bad that David Sims became a POS a-hole and/or revealed said traits later on, tainting his works henceforth, but it is as it is.
An unexpected but fun post Geekhis, not that I’ve come to expect anything less from you.
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