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Why do I suspect that Saban is going to shop Kamen Rider(and possibly Metal Heroes) to PFN and ABC if Disney/NBC won't bite?
As I said before, ABC/Hollywood should get Kamen Rider because they have a vested interest in competing with Disney. Competing with one of the most lucrative shows on the block in Bio-Force with their own tokusatsu show is clearly within Eisner's wheelhouse. Not to mention, it's a dark and mature show in an era that has an audience captivated by Sam Raimi's Batman. It's perfect.

Metal Heroes could actually become part of Disney (Big Bad Beetleborgs, anyone?), but we'll see if that's the case.

To be honest, I am worried that Eisner and Katzenberg will ruin Kamen Rider along with Haim Saban like what happened to OTL Masked Rider (that story is just a huge mess and completely ruined the source material), but there's an argument that they could turn it in the right direction or even keep the same story beats as the original as:
  1. It's not a spinoff of Bio-Force unlike OTL, which grew out of Power Rangers. This will allow the franchise to take its story in new directions and not be bound by the current Bio-Force shows. In addition, it's treated as its own thing like with the Japanese source material.
  2. It's explicitly a darker story than Bio-Force like its Japanese counterpart (at least before the Super Hero Time block blurred the lines).
  3. They could actually retain the core storyline of Kamen Rider Black/Black RX for ITTL Masked Rider because:
    1. Popularity of Sam Raimi's Batman opening up new doors of darker takes on superheroes.
    2. The conflict between the two brothers (Black and Shadow Moon) could be easily milked into an epic saga as they constantly fight each other throughout the show.
    3. They can use 80s/90s action tropes into the show thanks to the monster of the week format.
It'd be like the Ringworld of Tokusatsu, ngl. A show born out of jealousy and spite that ended up being a more thematically concise and successful franchise than it should've been. Of course, Masked Rider probably won't be as successful compared to Bio-Force (KR is still on hiatus) and it will still fall prey to Eisner/Katzenberg's many changes to make it seem more hip and trendy, but I'm willing to live with that. Maybe it'll be worth it when we see a kickass Kuuga adaptation!

If ITTL Eisner can keep this tone throughout the show, I will forgive everything that he has done in this timeline, perhaps even OTL hahahaha.
 
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As I said before, ABC/Hollywood should get Kamen Rider because they have a vested interest in competing with Disney. Competing with one of the most lucrative shows on the block in Bio-Force with their own tokusatsu show is clearly within Eisner's wheelhouse. Not to mention, it's a dark and mature show in an era that has an audience captivated by Sam Raimi's Batman. It's perfect.

Metal Heroes could actually become part of Disney (Big Bad Beetleborgs, anyone?), but we'll see if that's the case.

To be honest, I am worried that Eisner and Katzenberg will ruin Kamen Rider along with Haim Saban like what happened to OTL Masked Rider (that story is just a huge mess and completely ruined the source material), but there's an argument that they could turn it in the right direction or even keep the same story beats as the original as:
  1. It's not a spinoff of Bio-Force unlike OTL, which grew out of Power Rangers. This will allow the franchise to take its story in new directions and not be bound by the current Bio-Force shows. In addition, it's treated as its own thing like with the Japanese source material.
  2. It's explicitly a darker story than Bio-Force like its Japanese counterpart (at least before the Super Hero Time block blurred the lines).
  3. They could actually retain the core storyline of Kamen Rider Black/Black RX for ITTL Masked Rider because:
    1. Popularity of Sam Raimi's Batman opening up new doors of darker takes on superheroes.
    2. The conflict between the two brothers (Black and Shadow Moon) could be easily milked into an epic saga as they constantly fight each other throughout the show.
    3. They can use 80s/90s action tropes into the show thanks to the monster of the week format.
It'd be like the Ringworld of Tokusatsu, ngl. A show born out of jealousy and spite that ended up being a more thematically concise and successful franchise than it should've been. Of course, Masked Rider probably won't be as successful compared to Bio-Force (KR is still on hiatus) and it will still fall prey to Eisner/Katzenberg's many changes to seem more hip and trendy, but I'm willing to live with that. Maybe it'll be worth it when we see a kickass Kuuga adaptation!

If ITTL Eisner can keep this tone throughout the show, I will forgive everything that he has done in this timeline, perhaps even OTL hahahaha.
Not to mention it'll compete with TTL's Sailor Moon; which while not as dark, manages to balance the more nightmarish moments with plenty of comedy and a positive message about love and friendship.
 
Not to mention it'll compete with TTL's Sailor Moon; which while not as dark, manages to balance the more nightmarish moments with plenty of comedy and a positive message about love and friendship.
If Henson gets Sailor Moon and Eisner gets Kamen Rider, it's going to be like night and day. A more feminine, LGBT-inclusive magical girl anime show vs. a dark live-action show that feels like a white straight male power fantasy. Both are equally valid for its audiences (I'd enjoy both ITTL), but they can also turn out so much better than their OTL counterparts thanks to the creative vision of both executives.
 
but they can also turn out so much better than their OTL counterparts thanks to the creative vision of both executives.
Right; like I was saying, adding the more "grey" morality and more overtly cosmic horror elements from OTL's PGSM, in tandem with the more action fighting elements, means TTL's Sailor Moon will have a wider appeal than OTL and kick off the more "postmodern" take on the magical girl genre almost 20 years earlier.
 
I’d still like an American company to take on Gatchaman and do a proper sub of all the episodes without changing the names ‘Dirk Daring’ or other such silliness.

Battle of the Planets is very cool, but it does take some liberties with the source material for 70-80’s audiences, as the timeline goes on I think the orginal would find an US/UK audience.
 
Bernie Brillstein, You're a Fool!
Chapter 11, An EGOT Case (Cont’d)
Excerpt from Where Did I Go Right? (or: You’re No One in Hollywood Unless Someone Wants You Dead), by Bernie Brillstein (with Cheryl Henson)


’88 and ’89 were great years even beyond the gold dust catchers to satisfy my EGOT. Nearly all that I touched turned to gold. Beetlejuice? Gold. Honey, I Shrunk the Kids? Gold. The Song of Susan? Fucking Platinum! Even Ron Miller’s idea for a Pee Wee football team film evolved into Tiny Titans, which was The Bad News Bears for a new generation!

And yet for all of my big wins, there were some less than stellar moments. They can’t all be Oscar winners. Sometimes you produce things that are a success financially, but that you regret later. Ghostbusters was lightning in a bottle. We should have left well enough alone. But Ghostbusters II: Who You Gonna Call Now was doomed to be a pale shadow of its predecessor. Sure, it was good to see Danny, Eddie, Bill, and Harold on the big screen together again, and Brian and the effects guys knocked one out of the park, and the box office shows that the fans mostly agreed, but we were all a little bit disappointed with the outcome. Any thoughts of a third film were shelved.

Back to the Future, on the other hand, was practically built for a franchise. The Bobs had even added in a teaser at the end of the first film. So, naturally, Back to the Future II & III were greenlit. The Bobs made them back-to-back, one a sci-fi trip to the crazy future world of 2014, which is getting closer every day while flying cars apparently are not, and one a western. The final trilogy was a success in all senses of the word, modern day classics all.

And speaking of franchises, we once again partnered with George Lucas for Shadow Moon, a sequel to 1988’s Willow, which begins a year after the events of the prior film. George had big goals for the franchise, hoping to make it into his Lord of the Rings.

Of course, sometimes, you flop. Jim, for example, insisted that we distribute Terry Jones’s Erik the Viking, which barely made enough money to cover the distribution costs. Pretty embarrassing for him since he went out on a limb for Terry. Fair enough, though, since it didn’t cost Disney anything in the long run. No, his big disaster moment was going to come later!

Bert_Rigby%2C_You%27re_a_Fool_FilmPoster.jpeg

Worth it...

Instead, I would be the one to produce an epic train wreck that year. It was called Bert Rigby, You're a Fool, though all of my friends like to say should have been called “Bernie Brillstein, You’re a Fool for Ever Producing it”. It bombed big time, critically and with audiences. Frank Wells and Mike Bagnall got a nice tax deduction out of it, at least. What can I say? It was Carl Reiner! He’s a genius! And not only was my friend Mel Brooks twisting my left nut to give his good friend Carl another shot at the big time, but by this point Disney had bought up a 40% stake in Rob Reiner’s As You Wish Entertainment, so Carl’s son Rob was twisting the right one.

But just like The Razor’s Edge was the price of making Ghostbusters, Bert Rigby was the price of so many great things to come out of As You Wish. Rob Reiner is a freaking genius. It must run in the family. Not only that, but he’s got connections Michael Ovitz wishes he had! We’re talking Billy Crystal here. So, after Bert Rigby went into production, Rob brought me Best of Friends, that now-legendary Rom-Com where Meg Ryan gives Katz’s Deli an association that the owners never expected[1]. Can a man and a woman be best friends, or will sex get in the way? Genius! Not only that, but Billy had his own ideas for a modern-day western called City Slickers. So, yea, they can give me all the grief that they want over Bert Rigby when in exchange you get Best of Friends and City Slickers!

I’ll make that deal again any day.



[1] This timeline’s When Harry met Sally.
 
So even the brilliant Bernie Brillstein can make and admit to making a duffer. Sounds like he got a sweet deal from it though, and City Slickers is a fun movie OTL.

Was Ghostbusters II like the OTL one where the ‘magic’ had somehow gone? Does that butterfly the cartoon? What about the ride?

Wondering what Henson’s Big Disaster is now!

Willow 2 got made! Awesome. I hope Lucas gets his ‘Lord of the Rings’ as it might revitalise him as a filmmaker as well as keep him busy so he lets other people play with Star Wars. Sequels please!

Fun chapter @Geekhis Khan
 
Bert Rigby was the price of so many great things to come out of As You Wish...
Nice to have a few flops in the timeline as learning experiences or as victims of circumstance. Nice to know that most people won't even remember Bert Rigby, even if the lessons learned (if any) actually make a difference in the industry.
I hope Lucas gets his ‘Lord of the Rings’ as it might revitalise him as a filmmaker as well as keep him busy so he lets other people play with Star Wars.
There's a happy thought! If not a continuing Willow franchise then perhaps it just encourages Lucas to try more ideas, or discover that while he has a passion for directing, he's actually very good indeed as Producer and can let others 'play in his sandbox' as it were.
 
Nice to have a reminder that no one bats a thousand. Jim's willingness to go to bat for the artists can and will backfire, once in a while.
 
With Jim Henson's trip to Spain now canonical I love the idea him doing some research on some show that he could possibly dubbed or remake for an American audiences.
Oh, can I add BRB Internacional's weird funny-animal-versions-of-classic-literature shows? I know they were dubbed IOTL, and were popular in the UK, but it'd be interesting to give them more of a push in the US.
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Of course, sometimes, you flop. Jim, for example, insisted that we distribute Terry Jones’s Erik the Viking, which barely made enough money to cover the distribution costs. Pretty embarrassing for him since he went out on a limb for Terry. Fair enough, though, since it didn’t cost Disney anything in the long run. No, his big disaster moment was going to come later!

Uh-oh...
 
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Yeah, even the veritable Bernie Brillstein can make flops. Same with Jim Henson. Still, it's what you make out of your failure that allows you to find future success, as we'e seen with this post. I'm really curious as to what Jim's major flop will be, actually. We've already exhausted most of his OTL content at this point and he's more of a content curator and director thanks to his position as his CCO, so it's anyone's guess.

Willow 2 got made! Awesome. I hope Lucas gets his ‘Lord of the Rings’ as it might revitalise him as a filmmaker as well as keep him busy so he lets other people play with Star Wars. Sequels please!
Hard disagree with the Sequels. A Prequel Trilogy will be a far healthier addition to the Star Wars canon, in my opinion, since the questions relating to the Empire's rise and Anniken's fall is still very much unanswered and there's a hard block on what writers could do with that time period for the Expanded Universe, one that would freed if George Lucas made the Prequels and the subsequent Clone Wars multimedia content. Authors could make stuff like Dark Empire, NJO, and Legacy in the meantime, allowing Disney/Lucasfilm to take in those ideas for a canonical film sequel trilogy.
 
Does that butterfly the cartoon?
Doubt it see that the cartoon came out in 1986.
What about the ride?
Probably depends on when they started building it.
I hope Lucas gets his ‘Lord of the Rings’ as it might revitalise him as a filmmaker as well as keep him busy so he lets other people play with Star Wars. Sequels please!
Me too, it'll also keep him from 'remastering' the original trilogy also.
 
Batman (1989)

Batman is a T-rated 1989 film by director Sam Raimi. It follows multimillionaire Bruce Wayne (Willem Dafoe[1]) as he battles a crime wave in the city of Gotham as Batman, a job made all the more complicated by the arrival of a supervillain known as The Joker (Robin Williams[2]). The film was a massive blockbuster success and is credited with launching the career of Sam Raimi, cementing Robin Williams as an actor capable of more than just comedy, and in reinvigorating the superhero genera in film and television.

Cast & Crew:

Produced by: Jon Peters and Peter Guber
Directed by: Sam Raimi
Executive Producers: Benjamin Melniker and Michael E. Uslan
Written by: Michael E. Uslan, Tom Mankiewicz, and Sam Raimi
Story by: Michael E. Uslan and Sam Raimi
Edited by: Ray Lovejoy
Music by: Danny Elfman[3]
Distributed by: Warner Brothers Studios

Starring:
Willem Dafoe as Bruce Wayne/Batman
Robin Williams as The Joker
Sean Young as Silver St. Cloud
Ian Abercrombie as Alfred Pennyworth
Jack Palance as Rupert Thorne
Pat Hingle as Commissioner Gordon
Kevin Kline as Mayor Harvey Dent[4]

Batman_%281989%29_theatrical_poster.jpg


Synopsis

The film opens at a fog-choked wharf in the dark of the night. A well-dressed woman is fleeing, terrified, through the maze of shipping crates. A bunch of armed thugs pursue her. Suddenly, there’s a quick fanfare of horn music and a flash of black cloth and one of the thugs vanishes. The chase continues and another thug vanishes in a flash of black cloth, then another. Suddenly the woman reaches a dead end and, starting to panic, a gangster lieutenant and two thugs walk up.

“Well, well,” says the lieutenant, “So good to see you, Miss Lamatta. You weren’t thinking of talking to anyone about our boss’s…indiscretions, now were you?”

“Oh no! I won’t say nothin’, no, never!” says Miss Lamatta.

Another flash of black cloth and one of the two thugs vanishes.

“That’s good,” says the lieutenant. “Only, well, we can’t really take any chances what will all you’ve seen and…what was that?” The second thug vanishes with a scream cut short. “Who’s out there?”

A voice calls out from the dark, “I am the bringer of vengeance.”

The lieutenant fires his pistol twice. “I’m warning you!”

Another flash of black in the corner of the screen. “I am the hunter in the night!” says the voice

The lieutenant fires twice more. “You mess with me, you mess with Thorne!” A black cloaked figure lands loudly on a crate. The lieutenant fires four times as the black cloaked figure vanishes straight up.

The pistol clicks twice, empty. As the lieutenant struggles, now panicking, to reload, the cloaked figure, upside down, slowly descends in front of him, revealing the iconic Batman mask. In a fanfare of music, Batman grabs the lieutenant, who is pulled, screaming, high up over the wharf below. Batman, upside-down like a bat, holds him loosely by the collar hundreds of feet up. “I am Batman!”

It cuts to a distance shot of the wharf as the lieutenant screams and the music blasts.

Cut to the same wharf at sunrise. All the thugs and the lieutenant are tied up, groaning. Ms. Lamatta is talking to a detective about wanting to testify. Commissioner Gordon is walking to a uniformed officer. “She said a ‘shadow’ came for them,” says the officer, “And we found this.”

He hands Gordon a card with the Batman logo as the music plays again, transitioning into opening credits.

After the credits we come to a fancy party in a downtown skyscraper. Bruce Wayne is talking with various wealthy elites, including Mayor Harvey Dent, about the crime wave. Wayne, playing the part of the playboy, expresses no outward interest in doing anything, despite the urging by Dent to “use his wealth and status for good” and support Dent’s new police funding effort. When Dent asks about his parents, causing a jump-cut of some pearls falling on a dark city street and Wayne’s face to twitch, Wayne simply says, “That was so long ago.”

They’re joined by Silver St. Cloud, host of the party, who expresses a desire to end the city’s poverty and pledges her inherited millions to do so. Bruce and Silver talk and flirt for a while when a butler interrupts, holding a phone. It’s Alfred, telling Wayne that he’s needed back at the manor. Wayne excuses himself.

Back at Wayne Manor Alfred lets him know that the gangster lieutenant Batman had captured the night before was freed by a lawyer who is linked to Rupert Thorne. The fanfare plays and Wayne says, “then I’ll pay Mr. Thorne a visit!” He opens a secret door and goes through a suit-up sequence becoming Batman and then drives the Batmobile out through a waterfall in the night.

We cut to Rupert Thorne’s mansion, where he and some gangsters are discussing crimes. Zoom in to show Batman place a hidden black camera, recording it all. We then follow Batman though the building, silencing guards, and slipping a micro-disk into a computer system, which beeps a couple of times. Then Batman fights his way through the guards in a big action scene, seemingly impervious to bullets, and captures Thorne, ultimately dropping him and all the evidence he’d collected off at the police.

The next morning Bruce Wayne is having morning coffee when the TV shows Throne being released from prison, the anchor talking about the DA dropping the charges due to insufficient evidence, which the audience knows is a lie. Wayne’s research reveals Thorne to be a major campaign donor to Mayor Dent through a series of shell companies. Batman confronts Dent, who speaks of how he did it “for the greater good.”

“The Gotham police are too few, and many are hopelessly corrupt,” says Dent. “This is the only way to guarantee peace in the city.” Adding, “what, do you think this city’s wealthy are any better than Thorne? Theo Galavan was an embezzler and did insider trading! Hell, Thomas Wayne was a corporate raider that put thousands of workers on the street!”

Another jump-cut of Thomas Wayne smiling down in the street from above, as if to a child.

“They don’t murder people! Thorne is a monster!” says Batman.

“There are worse monsters than Thorne,” says Dent.

Cut to a dark, grimy city street. An addict walks up to a shadowy figure in the foreground, face obscured. “Wh…where’s Skeeze?”

The figure giggles oddly. “Mr. Skeeze had a pressing engagement.”

Jump-cut to Skeeze in a trash compactor, screaming in horror.

“Y…you have my medicine?”

More giggles. “I’ve got something even better!” He holds out a baggy of purple crystals. “This is Smilex! It will but a great big ol’ smile on your face!” More chuckles and giggles as the addict takes the bag and carries it off into a dark alleyway. There’s the flare of a lighter in the dark and suddenly the hidden addict starts to snicker, then giggle, then laugh. Crane-pan back as the laughter turns manic and helicopter pan over the city as the increasingly unhinged laughter echoes menacingly through the streets.

Cut to the addict’s dead face, contorted into a twisted caricature of a smile. Pan back to reveal it’s a morgue. Commissioner Gordon overlooks the corpse next to a forensic doctor. “It’s called ‘Smilex’,” says the doctor, “And it kills up to twenty percent of its users.”

“Thorne has gone too far!” says Batman, revealed in a whip pan, causing Gordon to jump.

“I don’t think that it’s Thorne,” says Gordon. “There’s little profit in killing a fifth of your customers.”

“A psychopath, then. Or an accident, bad drugs. Thorne’s the type to cut corners. I’ll have a talk with him.”

Gordon grabs batman’s arm and says, “Don’t you dare! No vigilantes! This is police business!”

“I don’t trust Gotham cops,” says Batman, who pulls his arm free and vanishes.

Batman tracks down Thorne through a montage of fights with gangsters until he breaks into Thorne’s secret lair, easily besting the gangsters in a fight. He accuses Thorne of distributing the Smilex drugs, but Thorne denies it and tells him they have “a mutual enemy” and holds up a single playing card: a Joker. Batman leaves and Throne relaxes…only to hear a faint giggling in the background.

Cut to a computer at the Bat Cave below Wayne Manor and a montage of research and cut-scenes. We learn that a new gang called “The Clownz” is moving in[5], displacing the old gangs. There’s a “Rupert Thorne found dead, twisted grimace on his face” headline, among others.

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Robin Williams as the Joker (as imagined by "weminoredinfilm.wordpress.com")

The research leads to an abandoned factory that’s now cranking out the Smilex at an industrial scale. Batman travels to the factory and fights his way through the Clownz in a massive, swinging-from-the-rafters melee that causes a small fire to start in a chemical storage closet. The fight leads ultimately to The Joker, who we see in full for the first time. Joker and Batman exchange banter about the situation, Batman learning that The Joker is truly a psychopath, using the greed of The Clownz to simply cause death and chaos for the “fun” of it. “Ooohhh yes, my little batty-bat-bat. They see only green, but I see all the beautiful colors of the rainbow, like bluuue, and black, and red…lots and lots and lots of beautiful red-red-red!” He laughs insanely and jumps up and down as he brags about the chaos and murder he’s committed.

“There’s no point in taking you to the crooked cops in this hopeless city,” says Batman, rage in his eyes, “You’re a mad dog who needs to be put down!” As fires start to spread through the warehouse Batman suddenly, and uncharacteristically, picks up a pistol (dropped in the fight) and starts to aim it at the Joker, but hesitates.

Jump-cut to Thomas Wayne getting shot on the street.

As he hesitates, The Joker, laughing, blows some purple powder into Batman’s face, says “sooo sad and angry, batty…you need to learn how to laugh!” and jumps, laughing, out a window. Batman shakes his head a couple of times as if dazed, and then starts to chuckle, giggle, and laugh in an increasingly desperate manner. We follow Batman as he struggles, laughing in increasingly manic ways[6], to make his way out of the burning, exploding building to the Batmobile. Still convulsing in pain and laughter, he climbs in, hits a button, and the Batmobile drives itself off into the night.

Back at Wayne Manor, as a storm rages around them, lightning casting frightening shadows, Alfred helps the laughing Wayne recover from the Smilex. The next morning, still chuckling painfully, Wayne and Alfred work to develop an antidote, which is then shared with the local hospitals, thereby saving many lives. Batman sets out to determine The Joker’s next strategy, but the Clown Prince of Crime stays continually out of his grasp.

Meanwhile, we cut to The Joker’s lair, where we learn that The Joker has developed a plan to release an untold amount of the Smilex upon the people of Gotham by blasting it through the steam pipes that run throughout the city (“This town needs an enema!”). When some of the Clownz, who are just petty criminals, not murderers, try to resist this plan, The Joker and his more loyal minions murder them all, The Joker laughing maniacally as he brutally kills all of the more hesitant Clownz. Then he says, “But first…some guests!!” His maniacal laughter, joined by the remaining Clownz, now more a madhouse of circus freaks than a gang, fills the air as we pan away.

Batman, meanwhile, has hit a dead end. The punks he accosts are either ignorant, or laughingly commit suicide rather than talk to him. Back at the Manor, Alfred talks to a frustrated Wayne and tries to convince him that he needs help and should contact Commissioner Gordon, who “seems like a decent-minded bloke.” Bruce exclaims that the city police are corrupt and that they “weren’t there for his parents!”

Bruce heads out on the street, angry, as the flashback of the murder of his parents, now seen in full by the audience for the first time, plays out in his head. He sees Silver St. Cloud’s building. Cut to her suite. He meets with Silver St. Cloud, who can tell he’s troubled. They talk around the issue, him pretending it’s about a business deal with a shady client and that the client has illegal things planned “that will hurt a lot of people.” He expresses a desire to “stop” him by any means necessary. Silver instead explains the difference between justice and vengeance, and that he should find a way to bring the other person to “justice”, not seek revenge. She speaks of her uncle Theo Galvan, and the corruption he got away with in his life and how she plans to serve justice by seeing his ill-gotten gains returned to the people.

Bruce admits to his own family’s perfectly legal but less than honorable business methods and swears that he will do likewise with his money. They start to kiss when Clownz break in through the windows. Bruce goes to fight them, but The Joker breaks in the door, shoots Bruce in the gut, and kicks him out the window, seemingly falling to his death while Silver screams. “Awww, what’ the matter, sweet little nightingale? Did your nest mate fly away?” He laughs as two Clownz slap tape over her mouth and drag her away.

Pan outside to where we see Bruce hanging off of a window ledge. He holds the bleeding gut wound and winces in pain.

In the background we see other wealthy people being dragged away into disturbingly painted clown cars by laughing Clownz.

Commissioner Gordon is in his office with some cops and detectives, attempting to determine the fate of several of Gotham’s kidnapped wealthy elites. Sighing, Gordon retreats into his office…and jumps when suddenly Batman is there. Batman and Gordon come to terms with each other, each realizing that the other wants to protect the citizens of Gotham, and they hash out a plan to work together. They combine their intelligence and determine that the Clownz have moved to the Gotham Central Steam Plant with the assumed hostages, for reasons unknown. They clasp forearms and move to save the hostages, which according to Gordon includes Mayor Dent.

While Gordon gathers up his most honest and loyal officers, Batman heads to the plant. He reaches the outskirts and takes out a couple of Clown guards. He squats by a skylight, winces with pain and grabs where he was shot, wipes away some grime from the glass, and looks inside. Inside he sees the Clownz mixing up a giant industrial cauldron of frothing purple liquid above a giant boiler. Cut to inside where a Clown Lieutenant exposits to The Joker that they are ready to dump into the boiler and flood the Gotham steam pipes with Smilex vapor, causing “untold chaos and death” across the city. Joker, laughing like a hyena the whole time, goes to his “audience”, the assembled wealthy of the city, all in cages hanging from chains (among them Silver St. Cloud). He then gives a great, laughing, insane speech on how for so long the wealthy of Gotham have stolen from the people of the city, likening himself to Robin Hood, “only with a much more idiosyncratic style!”

Meanwhile, on the roof, Batman is about to jump down through the glass when a Clown says “Hey! Wanna play?” Batman starts to fight him and two more Clownz. Cut back to the inside.

“But first,” says The Joker in a Game Show Announcer’s voice, “please welcome your fearless leader, the great two-faced Mayor of Gotham…everybody give a warm round of applause for Haaarrvey Dent!” The Clownz cheer maniacally as Dent is dragged into the room in front of The Joker, who pats him warmly on the left side of the face. A female Clown in long rubber gloves sashays up holding a silver bowl of smoking liquid. Dent is stuck in the middle, Clowns to his left, The Joker to his right.

“Sir, please,” says Dent calmly. “We can make a deal. I agree, the city’s poor are desperate, but if we work together to help them out, we can make things better for them.”

“What makes you think I give a shit about the poor?” says The Joker, quietly, a faux-serious look on his face, and then, laughing, pushes Dent’s face towards the bowl of smoking liquid. The scene cuts away to Silver with a horrified look on her face as Dent screams off camera. We cut back as Dent runs off, holding the left side of his face. The Joker and the Clownz laugh uproariously, all dancing and cavorting around.

Cut back to the roof. Batman is easily beating the clowns, but winces when one kicks him in the gunshot. Sirens become audible in the background. Some of the Clownz start shooting guns at Batman, which catches The Joker’s attention down below, causing him to laugh. Batman is getting worn down and overwhelmed when the Gotham Police pull up and engage the Clownz. Taking advantage of the distraction, Batman crashes through the skylight and down into the plant, cape out like wings.

He fights his way through the Clownz towards The Joker, wincing as he takes a punch to the gunshot. The Joker notices, there’s a jump-cut to Wayne getting shot by him, and he laughs, telling a pair of Clownz to bring him Silver. Batman fights his way towards the laughing Joker, who now has Silver St. Cloud at gunpoint. Batman instead ignores them so that he can stop two Clownz from dumping the Smilex into the boiler and gassing the city. With the city safe, he finally confronts The Joker, who is now on a ledge over the Smilex, threatening to drop Silver in. “Ah-ah-ahhh, Batty-bat! At this big of a dose she’ll surely die with laughter!” He laughs.

Silver bites The Joker’s hand and mule-kicks him in the crotch and then runs to Batman. “Get to Commissioner Gordon!” he yells, and engages The Joker in a final fight, dodging acid spray from a lapel flower and other sick “gags” as they fight. It cuts between the fight and Silver, watching from afar, as she runs through the plant until police officers swarm in and start rescuing the hostages, including her.

Finally, Batman has The Joker in an arm lock. The Joker laughs and slips away from the arm lock with a sickening crack, punches Batman in the gunshot, and then jumps off of the ledge towards the Smilex. Batman dives and grabs him, holding him by his left arm above the purple goo.

“Give up!” yells Batman, “I’ll see that you receive fair Justice!”

“Ah, batty, but it’s just us now!” Joker kicks up onto the ledge, trying to pull Batman down with him. Batman is forced to release The Joker lest he too get pulled in.

Laughing, The Joker falls into the Smilex and thrashes in it, laughing even more maniacally than ever, and he slowly sinks into the goo.

Cut to Wayne Manor where Bruce Wayne is in his bed, a large bandage on his midsection. He’s reading a newspaper about the “gang fight” at the plant. There’s a drawing of Batman with a caption “who is the Bat Man?” Alfred warns him that his hobby will eventually catch up to him. He then tells him he has a visitor. In walks Silver St. Cloud.

Silver says that she’s glad to see he’s alright. He makes up a story about “getting lucky” and falling onto a ledge when The Joker shot him. They briefly discuss their philanthropic plans and then he asks her about what happened to her. She mentions being rescued by “the Bat Man” and wonders if he’s still out there somewhere.

Alfred suggests, “Yes, I suspect that he is, and that he will likely show up when and where he is needed.”

The Batman theme plays as it cuts to Commissioner Gordon atop a building, the sun setting behind him, supervising some officers unboxing something. It’s revealed to be a searchlight. They turn it on, displaying the Bat Signal.

Cut to Batman, standing atop a skyscraper, below the signal in the background. He says in a voiceover, “Signal me, and I shall come. Need my help, and I shall be there. For I am the bringer of justice, I am the hunter of the night…I am Batman!”

Batman opens his cloak wide like wings, jumps from the skyscraper, and soars off towards the signal as the music crescendos and credits roll.


Production

Producers Benjamin Melniker and Michael E. Uslan first acquired the film rights for Batman from DC Comics on October 3, 1979. After decades of campy, Adam West style representations, Uslan intended “to make the definitive, dark, serious version of Batman, the way Bob Kane and Bill Finger had envisioned him in 1939. A creature of the night; stalking criminals in the shadows.” After being rejected by United Artists and Columbia Pictures, Uslan wrote a dark, noir-tinged script titled Return of the Batman. Teaming up with producers Jon Peters and Peter Guber in November 1979, with Melniker and Uslan becoming executive producers, they decided to follow the lead of the popular Superman movie. They tried unsuccessfully to pitch the film to Universal before Warner Brothers picked up the production in 1980.

Ignoring Uslan’s dark script and following in the campier footsteps of Superman, a new script was written by Tom Mankiewicz titled The Batman in June 1983, which focused on Batman and Robin’s origins and featured the Joker and Rupert Thorne as villains. After considering Ivan Reitman, Joe Dante, and Wes Craven for the director’s chair[7], Steven Spielberg[8] suggested that they consider a promising young director named Sam Raimi, who had scored recent successes with Friday the Thirteenth Part 5 and The Running Man, and was eager to direct a darker take in keeping with Uslan’s original script. Uslan met with Raimi and was excited to work with the director, but the studio was concerned about his relative lack of experience and origins as a horror film director. Raimi, in turn, pushed it as “a horror film for criminals” where the themes were of justice over vengeance. He cited the works of Tim Burton as evidence of audience tastes moving away from camp and color and towards the darker and more gothic. Still, though, the studio was resistant.

At Lisa Henson’s urging, Raimi put together some test footage using his childhood friend and go-to actor Bruce Campbell as Batman. The scene, which was recycled, slightly modified, into the opening set piece of the final film, impressed the producers and the studio and Raimi was greenlit to direct. Raimi, going back to Uslan’s original script, drafted a darker take that none the less maintained a touch of the camp by way of its dark humor. Robin was cut from the script in order to focus on “The Dark Knight” himself with the intent to bring him back in a potential sequel. Raimi originally wanted to keep Campbell as Batman, reportedly saying “seriously, all we need is a good chin,” adding, “heck, he’s even named Bruce!” However, the studio didn’t feel that Campbell had the big name or the acting chops and didn’t like his flat, midwestern accent. Raimi ultimately cast Willem Dafoe as the title character, at first angering Batman fans, who came around after seeing his performance. Campbell would appear both in a cameo as an obnoxious reporter and as a “Fake Shemp” Batman stand-in for reshoots.

Raimi reportedly tried to change the villain from the Joker to a more mundane villain (some sources suggest Scarecrow), hoping to save the Joker for a sequel, but the studio reportedly forced his hand, wanting to use the iconic villain to spur interest. Several people were considered for the role of The Joker, with Jack Nicholson being the studio’s first choice. However, Nicholson’s pay demands were excessive, including a large share of the gross, top billing, and very limited work hours[9]. After practically stalking Raimi, Robin Williams was finally brought on as the Joker after filming himself in makeup playing the part. “At first I was afraid that Robin would camp it up too much,” said Raimi, “But he took his usual manic comedy and he gave it this dark, psychotic edge that was just perfect. Good Morning Vietnam came out that year to critical acclaim, which helped sell Warner [Brothers] on him.” Sean Young, fresh off of No Way Out, was cast as love interest Silver St. Cloud, Ian Abercrombie was selected as Wayne’s butler Alfred, Jack Palance as crime boss Rupert Thorne, Pat Hingle as Commissioner Gordon, and Kevin Kline, fresh off of A Fish Called Wanda, as Mayor Harvey Dent.

Batman was filmed primarily at Pinewood Studios in England from October of 1988 to February of 1989 with additional location shoots throughout England. Danny Elfman was enlisted for the score based on his “dark, ethereal, but beautiful” work with Disney and Prince was brought on board at the request of producer Jon Peters to provide original songs. Editing and post-production ran through the spring of 1989 and the film debuted with a T rating on June 22nd following a massive blitz-marketing campaign that saw nearly every teenager in America wearing a Batman T-shirt[10].


Themes and Style

Raimi, much like Tim Burton, was inspired by the German Expressionist cinema of the early 20th century and Batman demonstrates direct influence from Fritz Lang’s films, in particular M and The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. He makes use of Dutch Angles, gothic-influenced architecture, and strong chiaroscuro contrasts. He uses his signature uncomfortable close-ups, whip-pans, and jump-cuts to build tension. This results in a film that is dark, intimate, and tense. And reflects the dualistic themes of the film. “I wanted this to be a ‘horror film for criminals’,” he told Entertainment Weekly in 1989, “and so I used the cinematic language of the horror flick and turned it on the killers and monsters instead.”

The overriding theme of the movie is duality, with its focus on night/day, dark/light, evil/good, poverty/wealth, crime/law, vengeance/justice, fear/humor, corruption/honesty, and victim/perpetrator and where these opposites cross over or bleed into one another. It’s a theme Raimi would explore in greater depth in the sequels. We see this duality in Bruce Wayne vs. Batman, Batman vs. The Joker, Commissioner Gordan vs. Rupert Thorne, and Harvey Dent’s pragmatic mix of honest public service and mild “as necessary” corruption. Other themes include justice for the innocent, the responsibilities of privilege, and the dangers of both drugs and the “war on drugs” that was raging while the movie was in production.


Reception, Box Office, and Legacy

Batman premiered to mostly positive reviews, though many expressed concerns about the level of violence in certain scenes, particularly in a movie that would surely be seen by children and was marketed with toys and other children’s merchandise. Though some were put off by its dark tone, Dafoe and Williams were largely praised for their acting. Williams in particular shocked and awed audiences, who were at first taken aback by the casting but were ultimately won over by the manic darkness of the portrayal. Batman would go on to be a massive blockbuster, grossing an amazing $410 million worldwide plus an additional $150 million in VHS sales. Batman spawned two sequels, an animated TV series, and a reboot trilogy in the 2000s. Batman is credited with reinvigorating the flagging superhero genre.


Trivia

A deleted subplot involves three scenes of Commissioner Gordon and some of his loyal officers, along with Mayor Harvey Dent, questioning who “The Batman” is, and what he’s up to. Dent recommends “capturing the vigilante and throwing him in prison, or possibly Arkham Assylum.” These scenes were cut for time and pacing reasons.

A scene where The Joker kills Rupert Throne with Smilex was cut for time. Instead, an expository headline and photograph of Throne’s smiling face flashes by during a montage.

Several cuts were made at the request of the MPAA to keep the rating at T and not R. For example, in a deleted scene, The Joker visibly pushes Dent’s face into the bowl of liquid, which sizzles and bubbles as Dent screams. This was replaced with the cut to Silver’s shocked expression.

Director Sam Raimi's brother Ted plays the police officer talking to Commissioner Gordon in the opening set piece and handing him the Bat card.

Director Sam Raimi’s childhood friend Bruce Campbell plays the obnoxious reporter “Jimmy Scupe” and also acted as a body double for Batman during reshoots (credited as “Bat Shemp”). “Hey, what can I say?” Campbell said in a later interview with Vanity Fair, “I got to play Batman in a major motion picture! That’s my chin getting punched halfway through the rooftop fight!”



[1] Didn’t see that one coming, did you? I’m following in a long line of “casting people that everyone knows just can’t be Batman only to be pleasantly surprised by what a good job that they do.”

[2] Williams lobbied hard for the role in our timeline, but the studio was desperate for Nicholson. I’m sure he’s not most people’s first choice, but I can honestly see him taking the mania of his standup and overlaying it onto his frankly disturbingly realistic portrayal of a psychopath in later films (e.g. One Hour Photo) and really making it work. He arguably doesn’t “look the part”, but neither did Nicholson.

[3] Raimi and Elfman were frequent collaborators in our timeline starting with Darkman. Here, Raimi knew Elfman from The Nightmare Before Christmas.

[4] I would have loved to go with Billie Dee Williams, but that was a Burton choice. The studio reportedly wouldn’t have cast Williams in the role if they’d realized who “Harvey Dent” would later become, and thus shamefully dropped him in favor of a more bankable Tommy Lee Jones when they needed Two Face. Here, Kline is just getting off from A Fish Called Wanda, produced under the “adult contemporary” Hyperion label in this timeline rather than the “prestige” MGM name. January Man is butterflied.

[5] Yes, of course they look like Juggalos. Did you need to ask?

[6] Think of the “laughing scene” from Evil Dead II.

[7] All as per our timeline up to this point.

[8] Urged on by Lisa Henson, of course.

[9] As were his demands in our timeline, where he made out like a freakin’ bandit, making millions for the role. To this day it’s still the highest-paid acting role ever in terms of “dollars per word spoken”.

[10] Seriously, the marketing campaign for this movie was ridiculous. It was impossible to escape the movie and the merch. It took The Phantom Menace to finally outdo it in 1999. As a Nerd and Geek in High School at the time (when those were things you did NOT advertise about yourself), I was suddenly amazed and perplexed when the popular kids started wearing Batman shirts, something that just a year earlier would have gotten you harassed and assaulted. Ah the power of marketing!
@Geekhis Khan this is absolutely amazing! While all of this TL has been expertly well written, realistic and super imaginative, I could really picture this Batman film! Dafoe, I think would be great, but I've only seen him in Spiderman...
 
The Judgement of Anubis: An Indiana Jones Adventure (1989)
Video from revamped Nostalgia was Way Better when I was a Kid Netsite, Oct. 1st, 2009


[click on video] Theme and title card for Nostalgia was Way Better when I was a Kid.

Interior – Temple of Anubis
An old African man dressed like an Egyptian priest (ANUBIS) holds his palm to the exposed chest of Field Marshall Dellaslealtà.

Anubis
Art thou ready for thy judgement, loyal servant of thy Great Leader?

Dellaslealtà
I am ready! I have served my Ducé with loyalty! I am a man of honor and principle!​

The hand glows and a glowing image of a beating heart appears on the left cup of a set of golden scales opposite to a feather. The scales twitch, and then the heart side sinks, far heavier than the feather. In a flash, Anubis’ hand reaches into Dellaslealtà’s chest and rips out his still beating heart. He tosses it to Ammit, a terrifying lion/crocodile/hippo chimera, which gobbles up the heart in a single bite. Dellaslealtà falls dead at Anubis’ feet and rots away to dust. Indiana Jones and Marion look on, horrified.

Anubis
He has been judged…wanting.​

Interior – Larry’s Study
We return to Larry’s study. The toys and books are slightly different now. The sound and video quality are better. Larry is as dorky and obnoxious as ever.

Larry
Hi, I’m Larry, and “Nostalgia was Way Better when I was a Kid”. And today we’re ripping the very heart out of Lucasfilm once again with The Judgement of Anubis, the third Indiana Jones Adventure, and the first of our “Month of Lisa Henson” collection.​

Exterior – New Mexico (1912)
The Paramount logo dissolves into a rocky mountain in the American Southwest. We follow young Indy and a friend through the desert and some caves in a scrub-covered canyon.

Larry (Voiceover)
Our cold open introduces us to Young Indy, played by River Phoenix, who is a Boy Scout because of course he is. He and a friend discover some looters pillaging an old cliff dwelling and a man dressed like the Indy we know has found an ancient Kachina doll of Masauwu, the Hopi spirit of death and the dead, or so Young Indy exposits to us. He declares that it belongs in a museum and steals the doll and a chase ensues.​

We follow Indy on as the grave robbers chase him across the desert and onto a circus train, through adventures, and to his own house and his Father (from behind).

Larry (Voiceover)
Indy flees to a circus train, adventure ensues, and…you’ve seen this movie, so why do I need to explain it to you? Anyway, we briefly meet daddy Jones who is a distant prick who doesn’t turn to look at his own son or see what he has in his hands because daddy cares only about dead Egyptians. The cops arrive, take the doll and give it to the grave robbers who give it to a man in a Panama Hat, and the leader hands Indy his hat.​

Exterior – Ship – Night (1936)

Larry (Voiceover)
Transition to a ship in 1936. Indy fights the thugs of the man in the white hat on a ship in the storm, the ship blows up, Indy saves the doll, yadda yadda, we transition to the current day.​

Exterior – Turkey (1939)
A dig site full of ancient Greek antiquities and, eventually, Indiana Jones and Marion Ravenwood.

Larry (Voiceover)
Then the cut takes us to Turkey in early 1939. It’s the eve of World War 2 and Indy and Marion are digging up Troy. They soon get a visit from their sponsor, a man named Dr. Aristotle Moiraío. He has word from an associate, Dr. Scurro, in Venice who has a lead on “an ancient Egyptian antiquity of great importance.” Indy dismisses the idea, refuses to work “with Fascists” given what was happening in Spain, and says they should ask his father, the noted Egyptologist. Dr. M. drops the bomb that they did ask his father, who is now missing. Meanwhile a plot device…err…messenger brings Indy a package: his father’s journal.

Exterior – Venice
Fly by map to Venice and Indy and Marion walk the streets.

Larry (Voiceover)
So, we fly by map to Venice, meet with Dr. Scurro, who is a hot chick played by Mia Sera – first name Chiara; Chiara Scurro…geddit? – and Indy and Marion learn that the McGuffin, the Scales of Anubis, which naturally hold The Power Over Life and Death (all capitalized), were tracked down by his father to a temple “at the headwaters of the Great River”, now Italian-occupied Ethiopia. But daddy Jones vanished and Chiara needs Indy to help find him and the McGuffin.​

Exterior – Egypt and Interior – Riverboat
Fly by map to Cairo where Indy, Marion, and Chiara meet Sallah.

Larry (Voiceover)
So, we meet up with our old friend Sallah from the first movie, who has arranged passage on a boat up the Nile. We travel up the Nile in a set piece right out of Agatha Christie, while a creepy servant in a Fez watches them. Indy is forced by rules to sleep in a separate cabin from Marion since they’re not married and it’s the old prudish ‘30s. Of course, Indy, Marion, and Dr. S.’s rooms all get ransacked, Indy figures out they were after his father’s journal. Dr. S. tries to seduce him. Naturally, Marion walks in at the wrong moment, drama ensues.​

Exterior – Nile (Montage) and Exterior – Temples in Ethiopia
Montage as they travel up the Nile through Sudan, transition from ship to small steamer, steamer to boat, boat to donkeys, and to a Christian temple in Ethiopia.

Larry (Voiceover)
So, all the way up the Nile and we’ve reached a great monastery in Ethiopia, Indy suspiciously eyeing the Italian Fascist officers while creepy Fez guy eyes Indy from the shadows. There’s a throwaway joke from an Ethiopian priest mentioning that the temple houses the Ark of the Covenant…

Indiana
(dryly) I’m sure it does.

Larry (Voiceover)
…and Indy goes to explore a temple carved from the living rock and said to have existed “since the time of the Pharaohs”. But the temple is empty save only for some Hieroglyphics. Indy recognizes them from the journal and deciphers them to determine that “there’s another ‘Great River’ in Africa.” In other words, the Congo. But creepy Fez guy has followed them and detonates explosives to bury them in. Indy and Marion work together to discover a secret door that takes them through ancient catacombs full of rats, and they escape through a sewer into downtown Addis Ababa.​

Interior – Hotel – Night

Larry (Voiceover)
So, finally back at the hotel, Indy and Marion, again forced to separate rooms, appear finally able to be together in secret when Indy is attacked by creepy Fez guy while getting ready. It’s played for laughs as Marion thinks she’s being stood up while Fez guy attempts to strangle Indy. But Sallah breaks in, saves the day, and they capture Fez guy only to find that he’s part of an ancient Egyptian Order sworn to protect the McGuffin. Fez guy warns that a bad fate awaits those who seek the scales for the wrong reason, but Indy tells him he’s there to save his dad and cares nothing for the McGuffin. Fez guy explains that Indy’s father is held captive by Field Marshal Dellasleatà in a fortress, wishes him luck in his “noble quest”, and then flees into the night.​

Exterior and Interior – Italian Army Fortress
An intimidating Brutalist modern-day castle on a mountaintop in Ethiopia.

Larry (Voiceover)
So, Indy is ready to rush brashly ahead to find and rescue his father, but Marion warns it will be “a death sentence”. Instead, she proposes a plan to sneak in, citing the Italian’s use of Somali women as servants. They disguise themselves in veils and bourkas and slip in through the servant’s entrance. Indy and Sallah then steal some Italian army uniforms amidst the usual jokes about men dressed as women in old movies while Marion asks the servant girls and discovers where Daddy Jones (Sean Connery) is hidden. Indy breaks in through the window only for daddy to smash a vase over his head and then admonish Indy for his “recklessness”, suggesting that he needs to realize his own mortality. They start to find their way out when the diabolical Field Marshal Dellasleatà appears (Robert Davi), a gun to Chiara’s head. Henry Jones Sr. warns Indy not to trust her, but he gives up his gun and they are captured, revealing Chiara to be a double agent, who takes the journal. Indy realizes she sacked their rooms on the boat, including her own. Sallah and Marion are also captured and taken away while Indy and Sr. are tied up and interrogated.​

Interior – Fortress, Exterior – Airfield and Sky

Larry (Voiceover)
So, hijinks ensue as Indy and Daddy make a convoluted escape, Indy stealing a biplane and revealing that he can “fly” but not “land”. Sr. admonishes him on his recklessness. They start to fly southwest and are engaged by Italian fighters. Sr. accidentally shoots their own tail off, and they crash land. They steal a car, force one plane to crash, and, car destroyed, Spielberg is soon visually quoting North by Northwest as the other plane swops down at them by a mountain lake full of birds. Sr. boldly walks towards the seeming oncoming death into a group of Ibis, causing the birds to take off, strike the plane, and make it clash. Sr. quotes an ancient Egyptian text on being willing to walk towards their fate with a light and joyous heart.​

Exterior – East Africa (Montage)
Montage as they travel Southwest towards the Congo.

Larry (Voiceover)
With Marion and Sallah still prisoner, Joneses Jr. and Sr. agree they need to rescue their friends. They also realize that they’re in British Uganda now, so they hop a noisy, overloaded train south. They attempt to bond, realizing that Chiara had also seduced Sr., causing Indy to be shocked. So, they give up the small talk and Sr. explains the upcoming traps of the temple in the Congo, which he has memorized after decades of research. We also cut to the Fascists, who have Marion and Sallah, the former snarking at the treasonous Chiara, as they fly to a village in the upper Congo, where things go all Heart of Darkness and a corrupt and insane Belgian official named Kurt lends them vehicles, including a buzz-saw tank, in exchange for a share of the “gold” they claim to be after. Back to Indy and dad as they follow some guides into the mountains, get charged by gorillas, and end up held at spearpoint by some natives.​

Exterior – Jungles of the Upper Congo (Montage)

Larry (Voiceover)
Well, as the Fascists, following the directions in the journal, slice a path through the jungles with their modern, smoke belching machines, Indy and dad are taken to the chief of the natives, who it seems is allied to Fez guy. After a meal of bugs and other revolting things they agree to help rescue Indy’s friends if the Joneses help them protect the McGuffin. Soon they are walking through the jungles, slow and natural in contrast to the destructive industrial Fascists, to the river and then Indy and daddy take a sketchy old steamer piloted by a Bogie clone to travel up the Congo to its “dark heart”, according to not-Bogie. The race concludes when they reach a Belgian ivory processing station by a waterfall and, with some horses stolen from the station, they head up a path through the jungle highlands to a conveniently placed pair of Egyptian Obelisks.​

Exterior – Jungles of the Upper Congo (Montage)
Indy and his father ride to engage the tanks in a chase scene.

Larry (Voiceover)
Meanwhile they hear the sound of the Fascist’s machines tearing through the jungle and rush to rescue their friends. A big fight breaks out as Indy struggles to fight his way into the saw-tank where Marion and Sallah are held. Fez guy, some natives, and a small cavalry of armed Egyptians with rifles help out and get killed one by one. Eventually Indy reaches the tank, fights the obligatory Really Big Guy, and, while Sr. helps Sallah and Marion onto a horse to escape, the tank runs off of an impossibly huge cliff seemingly with Indy on it.​

Exterior and Interior – Egyptian Temple in the Jungle

Larry (Voiceover)
Well, needless to say Indy’s not dead, having grabbed a convenient root, and daddy is happy to see him alive, but admonishes his recklessness…

Henry Sr.
Remember thou art mortal, son.

Larry (Voiceover)
…and there’s much to do. They follow the increasingly wilting, dead, and dying vegetation to the ruins of an Egyptian Temple of Anubis. The Fascists catch up and the four are captured, daddy is shot by Dellasleatà, and Indy is forced to navigate the traps to save his father using the life-controlling magic of the scales. Following his father’s lessons from before, Indy manages to avoid and disable the traps, like a camouflaged bridge and a fall-away floor, and reaches an inner sanctum with an old black man in Egyptian clothing, who is Anubis made flesh. The creepy beast Ammit growls and snaps to the side. So, Dellasleatà and Chiara emerge after Indy. Anubis has the scales, upon which a single feather rests, and he tells them that “only the purist of heart and intent can escape the cold hand of death.” Aaaaandd since you saw this episode’s cold open you know what happens to Dellasleatà when he tries, mistaking his blind loyalty to il Ducé for purity of essence. Indy, naturally, goes next. His heart starts to slide down, heavier than the feather, and…

Anubis
There is much that weighs on your heart…this will not end well for you.

Indy
I don’t care, I’ll trade my life for my father’s.

Anubis
A life for a life, then…

Larry (Voiceover)
Which of course causes his heart to shrink three sizes that day and become lighter than the feather, and we cut back to see the glowing figure of Anubis, now with jackal head, appear before Sr. and cure his gunshot. With this, Chiara grabs the scales and runs, causing the temple to begin to tumble around them. Chiara falls into a sudden crack in the floor. Indy tries to save her, grabbing her hand, but she reaches instead for the scales and falls in. Now Indy starts to fall in, reaches for the scales while daddy holds on, but chooses to let them go when Sr. mentions that he shouldn’t throw his life away. They escape the crumbling temple as Anubis, with jackal head, waves goodbye.​

Interior – Church
Indy and Marion marry in front of Daddy and a selection of guest stars from the earlier movies, such as Abner Ravenwood (David Carradine), Willie (Jonathan Ke Huy Quan), Marcus Brodie (Denholm Elliott), and Sallah.

Larry (Voiceover)
So, our heroes escape and we celebrate with Indy and Marion getting married and riding off into the sunset on the horses that were supposed to pull the carriage as the fanfare plays.​

Interior – Larry’s Study

Larry
And with that, we end our film. The Judgement of Anubis, the third of the original Indy flicks, performed extremely well at the box office, needless to say, making about ten bucks back for each and every one of its 48 million dollars spent. Fans loved the dynamic between Indy and his dad with Ford and Connery having an amazing screen chemistry. However, it’s not without its detractors. After the controversy about how they treated Asian cultures in the prior film, Spielberg and Lucas decided to put such racist tropes behind them…and portray Africans as bug-eating tribalists. Really, George and Steve? The film explores some pretty high-brow ideas on death and sacrifice as well as the father-son dynamic. Clearly the entire production crew were going through some issues at the time. Love it or hate it, The Judgement of Anubis helped close out what’s been known as “the Axis trilogy” of Indy films since he battles the Nazis, the Imperial Japanese, and the Italian Fascists in turn. Like its predecessors, it pushed the limits of what even a T-rated film could get away with, and which – trivia time – was the very first T-rated Indy flick, the prior two helping to create the T rating after pushing the limit on what a PG film could get away with past the breaking point. And, yes, the sight of yet another heart getting ripped out and devoured helped a new generation of children be traumatized, even if by this point I myself was numbed to such bloody terror, as well as numbed to life in general, patiently awaiting my adult years when all of that repressed trauma could come flooding back. So, pop up some popcorn, pop a Xanax, and put in a VCD of The Judgement of Anubis: An Indiana Jones Adventure. With the lights on. And your teddy bear. And, as always, be sure to like, subscribe, and hit the tracker. Next week we discuss The Land Before Time, the next in our Month of Lisa Henson. See you then!​

Theme music plays.

[click Return]
Say, is Larry based off of Channel Awesome
 
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