Throughout the entirety of this story, there have been many creative decisions in either the paths of historical characters or developments in fiction and media that I have greatly disagreed with. What stopped me from posting a critique like I did in the above post was that I could understand how it happened, lots of times it was due to alternate histories created by Henson Disney that prevented a series of particular events from occurring that lead to the outcome I like, and it was written in a way to express how media is greatly changing from our history with the purpose of focusing on divergences in entertainment and occasional nuance and counterpoints. For the 80's cartoons, there has rarely been any counterpoints or nuance outside of the POV bias, we haven't been hinted at how 90's tv cartoons are going to change from the 80's, the 80's cartoons that aren't involved with Disney haven't changed, and it seems that for posts it only exists to negatively compare to the divergent media. One case being the Transformers chapter where the main takeaway is that Jim Henson hates the movie because somehow a film that shows kids tragedy and that sometimes great change and good endings requires great sacrifice is bad and heroes always got to win.
I think his beef was more that...Well, yeah, it shows tragedy, but it's not doing it for some big message. It's doing it for the purpose of getting kids to buy the new toys by murdering the old ones, and...Yeah, I can see how someone would think that's a bit scummy. Its murder of Optimus Prime was a calculated move to say "Hey, kids, that guy's dead now, but there's this new guy, you like this guy now, buy all the new stuff!" The death of Optimus, and of so many characters, pretty much all of whom had names and personalities and at least one episode devoted to them....Basically, every Transformer they kill isn't just a nameless extra, they were some kid's favorite and that, is a great story decision: As a way to tell the audience that no one is safe, that the stakes are higher then ever, that this is war, not just another episode where everything will be wrapped up at the end. But it, the death of Optimus in specific, but i'm certain that wasn't the only death mandated) wasn't the decision made by the writer or the director or anyone on the creative side: It was a decision from Hasbro corporate. And, well..That kinda ruins the whole thing. If someone came into your child's room, and smashed all their toys so they had to buy new ones, you wouldn't call them a bold visionary writer: You'd call them a fucking psycho. Don't get me wrong, I think Transformers The Movie has some novel concepts, and that it manages to transcend being "just" a commercial, i 've brought up before how Hasbro's plan backfired, how they brought back Optimus because, ironically, they had gotten kids so attached to the product that the commercial no longer worked AS a commercial..But it is a commercial. Henson was not opposed to commerce, but I think he always wanted commerce to serve the needs of art, not the other way around. You sell toys so that you can afford to make movies, you don't make movies to sell toys.
 
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Me too. Like i'm sure at best we could get some crazy stuff the live-action series wasn't capable of.
Like Big G breaking into a charge, something that had to wait for King of the Monsters OTL? Yeah, I was thinking a lot about stuff like that.
I wonder which studio they'd get to animate, someone from Japan or from North America (or a joint project)? By the 80s UPA was just a distributor for Toho movies and hadn't made anything themselves since What's New Mr. Magoo in the 70s, so I think the choice is very much Toho's to call.
That said this is right at the start of the Hesei era of Godzilla films (The Return of Godzilla/Godzilla 1985 has practically just come out TTL), so I don't doubt Toho would count an animated movie at the request of their American distributor very much a side project as they do the production work on Godzilla vs. Biollante. This might be a good thing as it gives a lot of creative control to whoever picks it up since they won't be stepping on anyone's toes with the 'main' franchise.
I wonder who else UPA could rope in for funding.
 
Is it weird that I spent most of yesterday thinking about that animated 1988 Godzilla movie that was only mentioned in passing and Geekhis openly admitted didn't put any thought into?
Me too. Like i'm sure at best we could get some crazy stuff the live-action series wasn't capable of.
Like Big G breaking into a charge, something that had to wait for King of the Monsters OTL? Yeah, I was thinking a lot about stuff like that.
I wonder which studio they'd get to animate, someone from Japan or from North America (or a joint project)? By the 80s UPA was just a distributor for Toho movies and hadn't made anything themselves since What's New Mr. Magoo in the 70s, so I think the choice is very much Toho's to call.
That said this is right at the start of the Hesei era of Godzilla films (The Return of Godzilla/Godzilla 1985 has practically just come out TTL), so I don't doubt Toho would count an animated movie at the request of their American distributor very much a side project as they do the production work on Godzilla vs. Biollante. This might be a good thing as it gives a lot of creative control to whoever picks it up since they won't be stepping on anyone's toes with the 'main' franchise.
I wonder who else UPA could rope in for funding.
Perhaps UPA could ask Triad or Orion for some extra funding?
Here is there is on this film OTL:
 
Here is there is on this film OTL:
Well, the sky really is the limit here if it never even really got into pre-production.
You know, it might be a funny running gag for the timeline if the 'animated Godzilla movie' keeps getting mentioned by people in-universe as something they really liked or were impressed by but the movie itself never actually gets a post, leaving it as a continuous 'oh yeah, that was also a thing, remember that thing? I loved that thing!' joke.
 
You know, it might be a funny running gag for the timeline if the 'animated Godzilla movie' keeps getting mentioned by people in-universe as something they really liked or were impressed by but the movie itself never actually gets a post, leaving it as a continuous 'oh yeah, that was also a thing, remember that thing? I loved that thing!' joke.
So, like how Waluigi gets treated in Smash Bros., or how Rayman gets treated in general?
 
Great post from the Great Khan! Although it would be considered to be politically incorrect in our modern times, I think it's quite on brand for the 90s and it's an interesting way to admit the blurring of the lines between what is "gay" and what is "manly".

Also it's nice to see the He-Man movies see more success compared to OTL but man that Mr. T casting was definitely a big mistake, not gonna lie.

  1. Always a classic choice.
  2. I like the Venetian idea. It'd certainly make for an interesting layout for the land.
  3. Both Adventureland and Frontierland seem like good ideas.
  4. I personally like the Discoveryland option better as going the Verne-style steampunk route seems like the best way to avoid the Tommorrowland problem
  5. You know I have to go for the Muppetland option. Maybe it's themed as a local theme park the Muppets have taken over. Some nice fun old-timey carnival stuff.
Thank you for your responses, as I was interested in seeing someone give feedback on my proposal for what Disneyland Valencia could look like.
Anyways:
  1. Main Street, U.S.A. doesn't usually diverge much from every park so the theming probably stays the same as the regular Disneyland or WDW's Magic Kingdom.
  2. I am leaning towards the Venetian idea too because it's an interesting concept for a Fantasyland and they're close to a wetland and the coast so it's perfect.
  3. Thank you for the comment. Moving the Haunted Mansion to Frontierland is a huge change but Disneyland Paris did it OTL and it was apparently even scarier than the original, so I would be very curious to see how they would adapt it for Valencia.
  4. I absolutely want Discoveryland over Tomorrowland too. In fact, Valencia might even get a BIGGER Discoveryland than Paris due to higher budget and a smoother development and construction phase. I would be insanely jealous of TTL if they had Horizons and the Journey to the Center of the Earth rides.
  5. Muppetland is probably a better fit and an interesting divergence from the standard Mickey's Toontown. Henson might be worried about such a blatant bombardment of American movie IPs so he might greenlit this land instead to keep the park more palatable for kids and to maintain the Disney image. Miller and Henson are not Eisner, after all.
Overall I think Tony Baxter and the rest of the I-Works would have a more difficult challenge in trying to tie everything together in Disneyland Valencia compared to Paris because of how easy it was to integrate French culture into the park thanks to Discoveryland's leanings towards Jules Verne and the castle. While it's certainly possible to do this for Spanish culture in Disneyland Valencia, it'll probably be more spread out in the form of cuisine, buildings, music, art, plants, name changes, cast members' clothing, and etc. It's why I thought Disney might be interested in doing a Don Quixote adaptation as a tie-in for Valencia as the first explicitly Spanish E-Ticket attraction to satisfy the Spanish, although that's certainly not necessary for the park.

Ironically as a result Disneyland Valencia would probably be seen as a "Euro Disneyland" for Americans since multiple European nations would be represented in the park while keeping a Spanish flavor overall instead of Disneyland Paris, which was overwhelmingly French. I can also see the I-Works playing up the American aspect of the park like Main Street (maybe providing Liberty Square's Hall of Presidents in Main Street) in order to provide a taste of American culture and history through Disney for European tourists. A whimsical and bombastic mix of American and European culture in one theme park, which might be even further compounded by the size of the park (Is the size of the plot bigger than Paris?) [1].

I can imagine myself drinking Spanish horchata and a chocolate dipped churro while overlooking Main Street from Sleeping Beauty Castle, with Spanish music playing throughout. Man if only this park was real.

[1] EDIT #1: After doing some research on the size of Disneyland Paris and the rest of the parks, Paris is actually one of the largest theme parks in all of Disney at 127 acres, comparable to something like Shanghai Disneyland and the Magic Kingdom. Not to mention the total area of the entire park in 4,800 acres. The land bought out by Disney is more than 4x that amount at 19768 acres. That's a mindbogglingly huge amount of land, with only WDW beating it in terms of size at 25k acres.

I thought that Disney could only squeak in like 5 lands, but it seems that they could just do 6 lands right out of the gate and do more expansions as time passes, not to mention a second or third park with land to spare. Valencia could easily become one of the most ambitious and sprawling parks if they go all out over the decades, perhaps becoming the European rival to WDW. That just puts even more pressure on A Small World to succeed and beat Eisner to the punch.
 
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Honestly thats a great little show... and the shared love of action films by alpha male bros and the LGBT camp crowd has been an open ans largely warm friendship for years. Same with other stuff ranging from old mens adventure magazines to fast cars and whiskey.

The celebration of uber masculinity makes friends of all, no matter the reason for celebration.
 
Great post from the Great Khan! Although it would be considered to be politically incorrect in our modern times, I think it's quite on brand for the 90s and it's an interesting way to admit the blurring of the lines between what is "gay" and what is "manly".

Also it's nice to see the He-Man movies see more success compared to OTL but man that Mr. T casting was definitely a big mistake, not gonna lie.


Thank you for your responses, as I was interested in seeing someone give feedback on my proposal for what Disneyland Valencia could look like.
Anyways:
  1. Main Street, U.S.A. doesn't usually diverge much from every park so the theming probably stays the same as the regular Disneyland or WDW's Magic Kingdom.
  2. I am leaning towards the Venetian idea too because it's an interesting concept for a Fantasyland and they're close to a wetland and the coast so it's perfect.
  3. Thank you for the comment. Moving the Haunted Mansion to Frontierland is a huge change but Disneyland Paris did it OTL and it was apparently even scarier than the original, so I would be very curious to see how they would adapt it for Valencia.
  4. I absolutely want Discoveryland over Tomorrowland too. In fact, Valencia might even get a BIGGER Discoveryland than Paris due to higher budget and a smoother development and construction phase. I would be insanely jealous of TTL if they had Horizons and the Journey to the Center of the Earth rides.
  5. Muppetland is probably a better fit and an interesting divergence from the standard Mickey's Toontown. Henson might be worried about such a blatant bombardment of American movie IPs so he might greenlit this land instead to keep the park more palatable for kids and to maintain the Disney image. Miller and Henson are not Eisner, after all.
Overall I think Tony Baxter and the rest of the I-Works would have a more difficult challenge in trying to tie everything together in Disneyland Valencia compared to Paris because of how easy it was to integrate French culture into the park thanks to Discoveryland's leanings towards Jules Verne and the castle. While it's certainly possible to do this for Spanish culture in Disneyland Valencia, it'll probably be more spread out in the form of cuisine, buildings, music, art, plants, name changes, cast members' clothing, and etc. It's why I thought Disney might be interested in doing a Don Quixote adaptation as a tie-in for Valencia as the first explicitly Spanish E-Ticket attraction to satisfy the Spanish, although that's certainly not necessary for the park.

Ironically as a result Disneyland Valencia would probably be seen as a "Euro Disneyland" for Americans since multiple European nations would be represented in the park while keeping a Spanish flavor overall instead of Disneyland Paris, which was overwhelmingly French. I can also see the I-Works playing up the American aspect of the park like Main Street (maybe providing Liberty Square's Hall of Presidents in Main Street) in order to provide a taste of American culture and history through Disney for European tourists. A whimsical and bombastic mix of American and European culture in one theme park, which might be even further compounded by the size of the park (Is the size of the plot bigger than Paris?) [1].

I can imagine myself drinking Spanish horchata and a chocolate dipped churro while overlooking Main Street from Sleeping Beauty Castle, with Spanish music playing throughout. Man if only this park was real.

[1] EDIT #1: After doing some research on the size of Disneyland Paris and the rest of the parks, Paris is actually one of the largest theme parks in all of Disney at 127 acres, comparable to something like Shanghai Disneyland and the Magic Kingdom. Not to mention the total area of the entire park in 4,800 acres. The land bought out by Disney is more than 4x that amount at 19768 acres. That's a mindbogglingly huge amount of land, with only WDW beating it in terms of size at 25k acres.

I thought that Disney could only squeak in like 5 lands, but it seems that they could just do 6 lands right out of the gate and do more expansions as time passes, not to mention a second or third park with land to spare. Valencia could easily become one of the most ambitious and sprawling parks if they go all out over the decades, perhaps becoming the European rival to WDW. That just puts even more pressure on A Small World to succeed and beat Eisner to the punch.
  1. Good point. Hard to screw up classic small town Americana.
  2. It's an interesting variation on the land. Would make the Imagineers really put on their thinking caps on how to realize it. I just had the idea of them maybe including a Pinocchio dark ride since it's an Italian story.
  3. When you ditch the more silly half of the attraction and have Vincent Price's narration you're bound to get a lot scarier. Especially since the ghosts are actively malevolent instead of merely enjoying an eternal party.
  4. Steampunk is a great way to make sure that a land themed after "the future" never becomes outdated. Though a themed land where they intentionally imitate 50's/60's era zeerust aesthetics could be fun for a future theme park.
  5. And it'd be rather simple to start with a classic old-fashioned theme park and give it a Muppets-themed makeover. It'd be rather simple to do that and keep the verisimilitude the Disney Parks usually strive to have.
It does seem like a good idea to diversify in cultural inspiration rather than just focusing on the local Spanish culture. I do like the idea of including the Hall of Presidents in Main Street. And including a Don Quixote ride to please the locals seems like a good idea.

Maybe for the sixth themed land, they can revisit unexplored ideas of the past. Like they had the idea of an NYC-inspired land in Disneyland called "Big Town USA". Maybe they could include something like that.

Other than a version of the Port Disney/DisneySea project at Long Beach I'm looking forward to the first totally original theme parks Disney will be building. Starting with the possible second and third gate parks for Disneyland Valencia you mentioned.
 
Hey. I just had a great idea!

Considering the relative success of the He-Man movie, why don't we have Triad acquire Orion? That way, we can get a better Fat Albert movie ITTL.
 
  1. Good point. Hard to screw up classic small town Americana.
  2. It's an interesting variation on the land. Would make the Imagineers really put on their thinking caps on how to realize it. I just had the idea of them maybe including a Pinocchio dark ride since it's an Italian story.
  3. When you ditch the more silly half of the attraction and have Vincent Price's narration you're bound to get a lot scarier. Especially since the ghosts are actively malevolent instead of merely enjoying an eternal party.
  4. Steampunk is a great way to make sure that a land themed after "the future" never becomes outdated. Though a themed land where they intentionally imitate 50's/60's era zeerust aesthetics could be fun for a future theme park.
  5. And it'd be rather simple to start with a classic old-fashioned theme park and give it a Muppets-themed makeover. It'd be rather simple to do that and keep the verisimilitude the Disney Parks usually strive to have.
It does seem like a good idea to diversify in cultural inspiration rather than just focusing on the local Spanish culture. I do like the idea of including the Hall of Presidents in Main Street. And including a Don Quixote ride to please the locals seems like a good idea.

Maybe for the sixth themed land, they can revisit unexplored ideas of the past. Like they had the idea of an NYC-inspired land in Disneyland called "Big Town USA". Maybe they could include something like that.

Other than a version of the Port Disney/DisneySea project at Long Beach I'm looking forward to the first totally original theme parks Disney will be building. Starting with the possible second and third gate parks for Disneyland Valencia you mentioned.
Good idea on the Pinocchio dark side at Fantasyland. I think it would fit pretty well in a European Disneyland, and it did exist in OTL Disneyland Paris, so it's a likely addition to the park.
As for the lands, there were already 6 lands for Valencia that I proposed, although with Valencia being of a similar size to Paris and Shanghai, having 7, 8 or more lands is certainly possible over the years. A Hollywoodland or a Big Town USA could theoretically be built, although I think Miller and the rest of Disney will look very closely at public opinion towards American properties after opening in order to gauge interest.

For second and third gates, I think a European EPCOT is the most likely possibility for an expansion that I can think of at the moment, since it's a well-known concept and Henson can easily get on board with any plans for that project. The land could also support a DisneySea in its own plot of land like in Tokyo, which would be very interesting. Aside from that, it's really up to Geekhis Khan on what sort of extra park they could theoretically come up with if Valencia is a good success.
Remember they still have wetlands to protect, so some of the sprawling will need to have a light touch.
Of course, the wetlands are supposed to be protected under Disney, but that still leaves an enormous amount of land that rivals WDW in size, even if some parts are unsuitable for development. Not even Animal Kingdom, EPCOT, the Magic Kingdom, and the hotels have used up half of the area bought (and they're still buying up even more empty land iirc).

More than enough for a Disneyland Valencia with more than 6 lands, a second or even a third gate, and an array of hotels.

DisneylandValenciaSize2.png

I managed to overlay the total area of Disneyland Shanghai, Disneyland Paris, and Disneyland on the two possible locations of Disneyland Valencia in yellow, blue, and red respectively in Google Maps. That includes their additional parks, parking lots, and hotels. Yet both locations can fit all three Disneyland locations while having some spare land. What's better is that the park doesn't necessarily need to destroy large swathes of the nearby marshes as well, although Disney will be very careful not to disturb the treasured area during construction.

Still, the fact that Disneyland Valencia can match two of the biggest parks in Paris and Shanghai means that the I-Works can be very ambitious in the park itself, either during the planning stages or in future expansions. Whatever they'll think of in the Blue Sky design phase is going to be...interesting to say the least.

EDIT #1: Changed the image to include a location much closer to the city of Pego while shifting the northern image south of Oliva.
 
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Ah yes, an excellent way to make Figment and the Dreamfinder a permanent part of the Disney family. The Dreamfinder does have a ship though:
dreamfinder-figment-dreamcatcher-stock-disney.jpg

I think it'll be heavily modified in the show to accommodate any human passengers (maybe taking some cues from Doctor Who in making the inside bigger than the outside) ITTL while Gellz and their assistant probably gets a ship of their own if they make a cameo. It should be an interesting time when they do update the ride (probably improved animatronics based on the show and the addition of Gellz) but at least they'll treat it better than what the company did to the ride OTL.
That looks about right.

Do you mean "Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets"? Nothing much about that movie sticks in my mind, aside from "spectacle". Other movies have had more memorably obnoxious main characters, though him being a jerk rings a faint bell.
Yes. Visually is was like Electric Kool-Aid Acid Candy. I just really didn't like the actor playing Valerian, whose chemistry with L. was actually less than zero. The villain was so obviously evil that it made the twist pointless. Done right that could have been a great Gonzo SciFi.

When The Simpsons eventually comes up, can it be killed off around season 8 (1996-1997)?
Stay tuned.

By have them as part of the Lost Generation/First Line (and maybe The Twelve) Harvey's superheroes can be incorporated into the Marvel Universe without affect that much:
You can PM me. I hadn't planned on getting too far into the comics weeds, but it can be mentioned as a part of the next comics post.

Could ABC buy a comic company too? That would be great.
The only candidate I can think of if Malibu Comics. It is worth noting that Malibu bought out Aircel Comics whose most famous property is Men in Black so that would be an interesting twist.
Men in Black: The Series as a DIC Entertainment cartoon? It could be more likely than you think.
I've been wondering what to do with MiB. Another option would appear to be Dark Horse, but having them bought up just seems like sacrilege.

And for something different
This TL would be coming up on the 30th Anniversary of Henson's Wilkins Coffee spots
Yep. Good old psychotic Old Skool Muppets violence. So over the top they make Coyote and Roadrunner seem like afternoon tea.

1) Did Hogan have to drop the WWF Championship in order to film He-Man?
2) I hope to God Superman IV is out of the hands of Menachem and Yoran.
3) Good to know Langella is still Skeletor (IMHO his second-best performance behind Frost∕Nixon).
4) Also good to know a He-Man movie is still super gay.
1. Wasn't planning to go into Wrestling, but to spitball: I'd assume he'd have to leave the tour for half a year. Perhaps he loses the title to Andre the Giant in a big shocker and then returns in time for Wrestlemania III to win it back in this TL's version of "the bodyslam heard around the world".
2. M & Y already sold Sups back to WB in an earlier post. Superman IV was cancelled and a series reboot is in pre-production/Production Hell at the moment.
3. I figured he'd lobby for the part ITTL too. To this day it's one of his favorite roles.
4. I most definitely had to go there.

that gave me a pretty good laugh, well done, and well written!

btw there is another movie who i think who flirted with this - Flash Gordon
not so much the main character, but some of the supporting roles (but then again the whole movie was a sort of parody)
Definitely. I can guarantee that Dirk & Donny did that one.

Okay, my headcanon is this: Dirk and Donny do their netcast while drunk. The exaggerated personas they display were a conscious decision in their part, and they felt the only way to properly do the bit was to do some shots prior to recording.
I'll buy it.

NGL, Manly or Gay? reminded me of the Men On... from In Living Color.

Nice that the He-Man movie is actually a He-Man movie.

This film's director did the film Happy New Year in OTL, so I presume he didn't do it here?

NGL, I feel that Thompson is now destined to star in bargain-bin action and thriller movies come the 2000's and 2010's, like many of the action stars of both this TL and ours.

Yeah, I'm going to have to agree casting Mr. T as Beast Man was the move of a.... moron and a little racist... FOOL!

I'm actually a bit curious to see what The Sword of Cerebus is.


1, how poetic Bruce Willis' everyman film that marked the end of the Masculine Greek-God era was called Nothing Can Last, and 2, I wonder if the title being closer to Roderick Thorpe's book means we'll get a more faithful adaptation (terrorists are genuine, anti-capitalism themes with "John" realising he's the bad guy here).

Also, i'm qyuite sure where there's success, theirs mockbusters, those flies of the film world... but that's for another day.
Well, "Men on..." was pretty deliberately homophobic, so definitely not what I was going for. I'm not familiar with the film HNY; if you mean the 2014 thing that's so far out that it's long since butterflied as we know it.

And yea, the production team totally didn't think through the ramifications and Unfortunate Implications of having Mr. T as Beast Man. That said, him talking trash with Hogan is a glorious thing in any TL.

PS: Bruce Willis will not be in Nothing Can Last.
Awesome review, and fantastic way of telling us about the He-Man movie @Geekhis Khan

Dirk Bigler? That us such a porn name...

It sounds better than the OTL movie by quite a long way, but still a cheesy, campy, manly, gay mess. Got a sequel which is more than OTL’s movie got! Poor Brain Thompson though- timing sucks.

Slightly surprised Hulk Hogan was prepared to by Beta to Thompson‘s He-Man, but he does fit the Man-At-Arms role well.

Good that proper Orko was in it, I liked the sound effects on his Beastman fight. ILM puppets getting better bodes well for the Star Wars movies.
Thanks, glad people liked it. You can assume that Dirk Bigler and Donny Majors are not their real names. Hogan really had no choice but to play Supporting, though he had plenty of time to "shine" as MAA.

I figured that you in particular would like the Orko v. Beast Man sound effects. ;)
Aww, yiss!
This version of He-Man sounds like a much better movie than the one we got OTL, nicely done!
I wonder if they got Hogan to dye his moustache for the role.

You know, after that disclaimer I was expecting something actually questionable, at least for our 'modern sensibilities' if not for alternate 1997, but other than an over-reliance on the 'phrasing' joke, that wasn't any more cringy than any number of YouTube videos I've seen.

Great work as usual, oh great Khan!
I'm glad to see Eartha Kitt get some love. The disclaimer may not have been needed, but better safe than sorry. I'd hate to accidentally hurt someone with reckless writing.

Is it weird that I spent most of yesterday thinking about that animated 1988 Godzilla movie that was only mentioned in passing and Geekhis openly admitted didn't put any thought into?
Me too. Like i'm sure at best we could get some crazy stuff the live-action series wasn't capable of.
Well, the sky really is the limit here if it never even really got into pre-production.
You know, it might be a funny running gag for the timeline if the 'animated Godzilla movie' keeps getting mentioned by people in-universe as something they really liked or were impressed by but the movie itself never actually gets a post, leaving it as a continuous 'oh yeah, that was also a thing, remember that thing? I loved that thing!' joke.
I may totally take you up on that "in joke" @GrahamB, as I have nothing much to say about it offhand, and it's clear that anything I write will fail to live up to the "dream film".

Honestly thats a great little show... and the shared love of action films by alpha male bros and the LGBT camp crowd has been an open ans largely warm friendship for years. Same with other stuff ranging from old mens adventure magazines to fast cars and whiskey.

The celebration of uber masculinity makes friends of all, no matter the reason for celebration.
As a fan of He-Man this movie sounds awesome! Maybe it could be the beginning of a Masters of the universe franchise ?
I'm glad it's appreciated. There will be a Direct-to-video sequel in '89, but otherwise not much in the cinematic side. Perhaps a reboot in the 2000s or 2010s.
 
I've been wondering what to do with MiB. Another option would appear to be Dark Horse, but having them bought up just seems like sacrilege.
Well, with Malibu Comics, the properties that would be worth something are Men in Black and maybe Ultraforce. Meanwhile, buying Dark Horse Comics would somehow get you the rights to The Mask, The Umbrella Academy, Duckman, Hellboy, Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot, The Amazing Screw-On Head, Tank Girl, Sin City, and many other IPs that would potentially make bank.

And as for acquisitions that seem like sacrilege, I don't think ANYONE expected Disney to buy the rights to D&D of all things! After all, it's your timeline. You gotta learn to live a little.
 
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