New York Times Short Movie Reviews, November/December, 1986
Whales in Space
Fans of Star Trek know exactly what to expect from a “Trek” film, right? Giant space battles, cosmic voyages, dastardly Klingons, Eddie Murphy as a nerd who talks to whales…wait, what? Yes, you heard me: Eddie Murphy as a nerd who talks to whales. And if that doesn’t make it abundantly clear that
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home isn’t your typical Trek flick, then nothing will. Directed by Leonard “Spock” Nimoy, the latest Trek outing comes “home” to Earth in the 20th century to find and rescue some humpback whales so that they can take them into the future to save the world from alien space whales. It makes sense in context; try not to think too hard about it.
In fact,
Trek IV is a film best just enjoyed, a fun popcorn romp that doesn’t so much insult your intelligence as it politely asks you to leave it at the door. It’s a film where the screamingly Russian Lt. Chekov is casually asking everyone (in the middle of the Cold War) where to find the American Navy “nuclear wessels”, where Spock is trying to learn how to curse to fit in, and where, yes, Eddie Murphy plays a hippie-like nerd, specifically Marine Biologist and UFO believer Dr. Gilbert N. Taylor, who tries to talk to the whales under his care. And Murphy seems to be having a blast filing away his usual charm and playing an awkward spacy nebbish[1]. Half of the fun of the film is watching the Trek crew as fish out of temporal water in 1980s San Francisco. The other half is watching William Shatner and Eddie Murphy clearly vying for screen supremacy (rumors abound[2] of rivalry on the set!). The result is that the two of them maintain a sort of “buddy cop” tension dynamic that sells the awkward forced relationship, with Spock’s Zen-like child-mind thrown in as the mediating straight man and foil for both.
Star Trek IV also makes huge stars of its two whales, George and Gracie, and manages to pass along its environmental message in a way that gets its point across without being preachy or self-righteous. Leonard Nimoy demonstrates that he has the chops to be a director. The editing is fast and energetic, the dialog fun and naturalistic, even despite the inherent silliness of it at times, and the acting good. Eddie Murphy’s stunt casting plays well, particularly when he’s onscreen with Shatner.
In the end,
Star Trek IV is fun, just plain fun. It’s not Shakespeare and it makes no pretentions to be. It’s simply an enjoyable, family-friendly film and a great way to spend a couple of hours this Christmas season.
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, Rated PG for action, some violence, and some mild adult language, ⭐⭐⭐
Mystic Noir
It’s a trope as old as Hollywood: a grizzled, jaded detective sits in his office when a beautiful young woman walks in and offers him a case. But what’s different in
The Golden Rose of Tibet is that in this case there’s a special, mystical child at risk and the enemies are not mobsters or femmes fatale, but demons from the underworld. And detective Chandler Jarrell (Mel Gibson) has to face both his cynical desire to stay out of things and his inherent skepticism about the supernatural. Guided by his mysterious and beautiful (but amazingly powerful) client Kee Nang (Charlotte Lewis), Jarrell must find the eponymous “Golden Rose”, a mystical child of great power and important purpose (J. L. Reate), and rescue him from the literally diabolical Sardo Numspa (Amrish Puri) and his dangerous henchman Khan (Bolo Yeung).
The first feature film by Associated Pictures, formerly CBS Theatrical Films[3],
The Golden Rose of Tibet is at its heart a film noir fantasy that takes us from the dirty streets of late 1940s San Francisco to the mountains of Tibet, a film filled with chiaroscuro contrasts and sweeping vistas that seems to visually quote
Mask of the Monkey King. It is a period piece with subtle messages about colonialism and themes about innocence and idealism versus selfishness and cynicism that get somewhat lost in the rather disjointed narrative. The noir realism runs smack into the acrobatic martial arts action, and the handful of awkward attempts at comedy generally fall flat. The special effects are good, if obvious at times. Still, though, the action is fast and exciting, Amrish Puri is a delightfully wicked villain, and Mel Gibson is as charismatic as always, maintaining good chemistry with Charlotte Lewis.
The Golden Rose of Tibet is unlikely to be a blockbuster[4], but as winter escapism it works. It clips along and carries the audience to fun places.
In this case Mel Gibson is the Chosen One…
The Golden Rose of Tibet, Rated T for violence, adult language, and adult situations, ⭐⭐½
Who Wants to Live Forever?
Immortality. It has been a long-standing human wish. The chance to live forever. But is this really the blessing one thinks it would be? To stay forever young as those whom you love grow old and die? To watch as the world that you know crumbles and is replaced by something new and alien? Such are the questions asked in the latest 20th Century film
Highlander. This is a sweeping epic across the ages which follows Scottish Highlander Conner MacLeod (Peter Weller) as he learns of his immortal status, falls in love, watches his love and everything he knows grow old and fade away, and lives on into the present day. But behind it all comes the price of immortality: an eternal “contest” whose origins are mysterious and whose unfathomable end goal pits immortal against immortal. And when MacLeod ends up on the wrong side of the dark immortal Kurgan (Rutger Hauer), an ancient and troubled warrior who has lived so long and lost so much that he stoically longs for death and now lives only for “the eternal fight”, he and the Kurgan end up in an eternal running duel that can only end in one of their deaths[5].
Along the way, MacLeod is aided by the foppish but powerful immortal Don Ramirez (Sean Connery), a mentor figure and teacher who takes MacLeod under his wing. He warns MacLeod not to fall in love with the beautiful Heather (Catherine Mary Stewart), but MacLeod does, and is powerless to stop her eventual aging and death. And in the present day when MacLeod finds a new possible love with forensic expert Brenda Wyatt (Linda Hamilton), he is instead torn and tormented by the impossible choice.
Highlander and its eternal “game” of immortals is ultimately the backdrop for the larger questions and themes of transience, loss, purpose, and mortality, all brought into emotional resonance by director Jerry London of
Shōgun miniseries fame in his feature film debut, under whose careful direction the film unfolds into a romantic epic of the sort not seen on the big screen since the Golden Age of Hollywood. Featuring a soundtrack by
Queen that varies from excitement to sentimentality punctuated by a meaningful score by Michael Kamen, Highlander explores deep concepts amid a backdrop of fantasy adventure. The sweeping landscapes and intimate alleyways complement the tortured longing of the characters and highlight the adventure and romance. It could so easily have degenerated into camp, mindless action, or melodrama, but London has walked the line and produced a story for the ages.
Not exactly this…
Highlander, Rated R for violence, sexuality, and language, ⭐⭐⭐½
The Harsh Realities of War
Platoon was a long time coming. First conceived by director Oliver Stone as
Break following his own experiences in Vietnam, the unpopularity of the war and, conversely, the cultural impact from
The Deer Hunter and
Apocalypse Now on the popular conceptions of the war, left little room for an intimate picture of a single soldier’s struggles. So, it is somewhat ironic that
Deer Hunter director Michael Cimino was the one to ultimately get this deeply personal film produced. Fresh off of the success of
The Pope of Greenwich Village, Cimino convinced United Artists to greenlight Stone’s picture[6], albeit with a shoestring budget. Nonetheless, the film shines as a deep and cerebral war drama, a personal narrative that explores the humanity behind both the noble and the despicable acts done in America’s forays into Vietnam. Charlie Sheen, perhaps in a salute to his father’s iconic role in
Apocalypse Now, shines as the protagonist Chris, a man trying to keep his bearing in the face of it all. Willem Dafoe serves as the more free-spirited Sgt. Elias while Mickey Roarke is triumphant as the hardnosed, merciless Sgt. Barnes. Whether the film reaches a larger audience or not, it will certainly resonate with actual Vietnam veterans as a more nuanced war film than those which came before, a story of innocence lost, the better angels of our nature dueling with the harsher demons.
Platoon, Rated R for violence, drug use, adult situations, and adult language, ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Jumpin’ Up the Big Screen
The directorial partnership of Zucker-Abrams-Zucker, or ZAZ, is not known for subtlety. But they remain the masters of comedic timing, visual and wordplay gags, and farcical situations. Whether silly (
Airplane!) or surreal (
Pee Wee’s Big Adventure), ZAZ will certainly deliver the laughs. And they certainly deliver with 20th Century Films’
Jumpin’ Jack Flash starring the amazing Whoopi Goldberg. Reportedly taking over a troubled production of a script by David H. Franzoni, ZAZ took the script, rewrote it with their usual over-the-top sensibilities, and produced what amounts to an old-fashioned French Farce, where bank teller Terry Doolittle (Goldberg) gets inadvertently pulled into an international spy caper. While subtle and naturalistic by the standards of ZAZ (there are none of the silly fourth wall breaking gags and visual puns from
Airplane! or
Top Secret),
Jack Flash remains a spiraling, non-stop roller coaster of increasingly ludicrous set pieces in the spirit of
The Pink Panther. Goldberg’s expert comic timing holds together a cast of similarly fantastic actors such as Robert Stack as “Marty Phillips”, cover identity of CIA agent Peter Caen, and Rowan Atkinson as Jeremy Talbot, a KGB sleeper agent working undercover at the British Consulate in New York City. This stellar cast plays exceedingly well off of one another, managing to elevate a muddled script into cinematic gold. While not without flaws (not all the jokes land and the plot remains an excuse to travel between silly set pieces)
Jumpin’ Jack Flash is exactly the Christmas excess adults are looking for[7].
Not exactly this and by the makers of
Airplane!
Jumpin' Jack Flash, Rated R for excessive profanity, comedic violence, and adult situations, ⭐⭐⭐
Return of the Hustler
Paul Newman is one of the princes of Hollywood, but one whom we’ve seen far too little from in recent years, so it is indeed a pleasure to see the classic New Hollywood actor return to the big screen, even if it’s in a sequel that doesn’t quite live up to the original. Released by Hollywood Pictures,
The Color of Money is a fun and occasionally meaningful sequel to the 1961 film
The Hustler. Paul Newman himself directs[8] and reprises his role as “Fast” Eddie Felson, who is now the mentor to the brash young Vincent Lauria (Tom Cruise), teaching him the subtle art of pool hustling much as he learned from his own mentor in the original. The film takes on a two-pronged approach, following Lauria’s growth from a brash young up-and-comer to a worthy successor for Felson, and simultaneously following Felson as he comes to terms with his own advancing age. Ultimately, it serves as a passing-of-the-torch moment not just from Felton to Lauria, but from Newman to Cruise, the older generation of stars making way for the next.
One might fear that the combination of “starring and directed by” Paul Newman would indicate that this was a shallow vanity project, but thankfully the film stands on its own. Buoyed by fast paced editing, a lively soundtrack, some impressive pool playing, and Newman and Cruise’s screen chemistry, the film manages to somewhat recapture the fun of the first film while updating the setting for the modern day and simultaneously connecting it meaningfully to the original. Newman’s directing is competent and professional. The acting is fantastic. And while not the classic that its predecessor
The Hustler was,
The Color of Money in the end offers viewers a fun popcorn film that touches on deeper stakes while refusing to dwell on them.
The Color of Money, Rated R for violence, adult language, and adult situations, ⭐ ⭐ ⭐
[1] Basically, he’s playing a cross between
The Nutty Professor (fat nerd version) and the awkward, nerdy Jif Ramsey in
Bowfinger. In our timeline they couldn’t find a compromise between the role Murphy (a major Trek fan) wanted to play (rumor has it a Vulcan) and the role they wanted for him (an astrophysicist who was more along the “typical” Murphy of
Beverly Hills Cop fame). Here they found a compromise by letting Murphy simply go all-out on the character.
[2] Rumors are true. Shatner felt inherently threatened by being placed up against the popular and charismatic star. Sensing Shatner’s unease, Murphy had fun screwing with him at every opportunity. The tensions on the set carry over very well into the film where they create an excellent comedic vitriol.
[3] Associated Pictures wins the script bidding war with Paramount and Lorimar that went to Paramount in our timeline. With this change, Eddie Murphy has another reason to take the job in
Star Trek IV. Recall that CBS Feature Films was claimed by ACC in the CBS buyout in 1985. The film will be distributed through Tri-Star Pictures, also part-owned by ACC.
[4] Will make a modest profit. Without Eddie Murphy’s star power, it will not be a blockbuster. But in hindsight it’s considered a fun if forgettable film.
[5] This version of Highlander skews much closer to the original Gregory Widen screenplay in that it’s notably more emotional and cerebral, with characters who are troubled shades of gray and not black-and-white noble hero vs. scenery-devouring villain (as much as I love Clancy Brown). This is more like
Barry Lyndon than the film we got in our timeline and spends its budget on location shots rather than shining, sparking effects (the beheadings are just beheadings, no exploding neon signs). Like the film from our timeline it will underperform at the box office in the US since its mix of romance and action has a hard time finding an audience outside of “date night” (too sappy for the guys, too violent for the kids, too macho for the gals), but will be a critical darling and get some awards nominations. It will be very popular in Europe and Asia and will become a cult classic. Peter Weller will refuse to return for any sequels and so they will reboot it as a BBC series (featuring Conner,
not a parallel universe Duncan) in the 1990s. A reboot in the 2010s will actually do quite well, spawning a trilogy.
[6] In our timeline it went to Orion Pictures. Here, UA takes it up, and it will be a critical and box office success for them as per our timeline. Orion still has
Hoosiers,
Hannah and her Sisters, and
Back to School to keep it afloat for the time being, despite losing this film.
[7] Compared to our timeline’s muddled mess, ZAZ turns this sow’s ear into a silk purse. It will perform well at the box office and bolster Goldberg’s career at a critical milestone. And wait until you see what Penny Marshall, who directed this in our timeline, is up to!
[8] In our timeline this film was picked up by Touchstone and Newman enlisted his friend Martin Scorsese to direct. But here Scorsese is directing
Rhapsody for Hyperion, so Newman chooses to direct himself.
