A Guide to 21st Century Federalism in The "United Kingdom" - A TLIAW

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SECTION EIGHT:
Crossing over from the main body of the Northern region into its own little devolved region in Yorkshire, I found myself admiring the landscape more than anywhere else in the UK. Those verdant rolling hills were utterly gorgeous, and made me wonder whether, as the locals said, this really was God's Own Country. Then we met with some of the locals. To be fair I don't believe for a moment that those we met were in any way representative of the greater body of Yorkshiremen (or Yorkshirewomen for that matter), but their treatment was far from what a diplomat comes to expect when travelling in a foreign nation.

The first town we drove through in Yorkshire was plastered with BIP posters, many of them as large as one would expect in the DPRK rather than a rural English backwater. The frown on my face must have been noticeable, because Francois turned to me with a grim smile and said;

"They just finished up a by-election here, I think. Needless to say the BIP won..." There was silence in the car as one of my security personnel flicked on the locks for the doors. I really wished the two little European Flags on the front of the car weren't there, and cautiously removed the one pinned to my lapel.

Driving through the town we passed a clearly homemade sign which simply said "Throw out the Eurocrat leeches from Brussels". As one of the aforementioned leeches, I couldn't help but feel I would be more than happy to be thrown out of such a place. We drove on, getting a few hostile looks from passersby, one of whom even made a gesture which doesn't bare describing in an official report such as this one. The town truly had been painted purple, but then so had much of Yorkshire... and much of the north... some expected that the Yorkshire Assembly would see the BIP thrown into opposition at the next set of elections, with the Conservatives wildly unpopular in spite of the fact they had been led, for a long time, by a Yorkshireman.

The whole place had sent a shudder down my spine. More than anything this place showed me the British Peoples' dissatisfaction with the European Union... these were the people who the President had told me about - the white working class who felt squeezed out in their own country. It often troubled me how much the President seemed to side with their sentiments...


~~~
We arrived in York not long after, to far less fanfare than we had received in Manchester. The political mood in York was, of course, fairly tense... the current Yorkshire First Secretary, Miss Yvette Cooper, had only just muscled out her predecessor Ed Balls in one of Labour's worst examples of internal infighting. The perception that both were simply careerists (of the Milibandite wing for Miss Cooper and the Mandelsonian wing for Mr Balls) and not ideologically motivated socialists like the party leadership hadn't helped. Nor had the rumours about their brief relationship when both were serving in the Westminster Parliament as Yorkshire MPs.

The sky was grey and fine, cold, rain was falling from the sky as we arrived in the centre of Yorkshire's capital. Ms. Cooper met us outside the Assembly building, a fake smile on her face and an aide holding an umbrella over her. She waved and the two of them slowly walked down the steps to meet me as Francois and I got out of the car. Yorkshire's own Iron Lady was far taller in person than I had initially expected her to be.

"Its a pleasure to meet you Mister Ambassador!" She called out as I got within ear distance of her.

"And you ma'am." I returned. She smiled at me stiffly, and then she and her aide led me inside.

The Yorkshire Assembly Building was a nasty modern thing, all stark concrete and strangely cut glass, designed by a London architect whose ideas ran quite antithetically to those espoused by the Labour government which it housed. The Yorkshire Assembly, almost wholly dominated by Labour, liked to present itself as a bastion of a new kind of "Consensus Building Politics" where party labels didn't matter... in practice that just meant that the Labour Party in the region was so riven with infighting as to virtually be two (or perhaps three) separate Assembly Caucuses effectively in coalition.

Cooper was quiet for the rest of the long walk to her office, but then she had a reputation for being stern... she was modelling herself off Thatcher, some said, not that it was a legacy which one necessarily wanted to emulate. Yvette Cooper, former Home Secretary now plotting in her Northern Fief, was an enigma. When we arrived at her office there was no pretense of making me wait, for which I was grateful, and we went straight in to begin our discussion.

"Ok, we'd better get down to business, hadn't we." She said matter of factly.

"Yes we had." I started recording.

"Yvette Cooper, First Secretary of the Yorkshire Assembly, Yorkshire's place in the federal system."

"Thank you for this interview First Secretary," I began, "Now, since Yorkshire has a somewhat unusual place in the federal system, please could you explain how it works?"

"Of course. Yorkshire is a devolved region within the Northern Devolved Region, with its own controls over taxation, environmental policy, and a fully independent police force. We are able to dictate some aspects of our own social policy - we allowed gay marriage two years before it was legalised in then Northern Region, and one before it was legalised in England." She said. She sounded proud... was she bragging?

"Do you think, therefore, that Yortkshire should become its own independent region."

"Absolutely." Her reply was unflinching, not even a flicker in her eyes as she spoke, "It was a mistake made by cold Westminster bureaucrats that the entire North was made one region." Might that, perhaps, have been part of a pitch to amass support from the large cadre of Yorkshire Delegates at Labour's annual federal convention? There were rumours she was angling for the leadership, after all.

"Thank you Miss Cooper." She winced at the use of "Miss", "Do you believe in the further federalisation of British political parties?"

"Yes, without a doubt." She replied, "The London Party is simply out of tune with the rest of the party across the country, and for too long their stranglehold over the leadership and party policy has led to unelectable left wing leaders."

"You refer, of course, to your current party leader?"

"Yes of course. I happily served as Home Secretary under David and was offered the position again from John." She paused for a moment and then, eyes like steel, said "I wouldn't even countenance serving under John."

"For a final question, do you think that the British Federal model would be applicable for the European Union's projected future integrations?"

"Absolutely, I think a tailored federal model where everyone gets their say and the bespoke amount of aid and autonomy is provided for all is the right path for Europe." She smiled at the chance to show off her Europhile credentials.

"Thank you Miss cooper." I ended the recording, we exchanged a few forced pleasantries, and then I left.

~~~
As I stood on the rain drenched steps and checked my phone I saw a single message from the President.

Get to Edinburgh, ASAP.
 
Delighted to see this back. This is probably the weakest chapter so far given not a lot happens. It feels just like a pit stop before scotland. But still very pleased this will be finished.
 
Delighted to see this back. This is probably the weakest chapter so far given not a lot happens. It feels just like a pit stop before scotland. But still very pleased this will be finished.
Yeah I thought it was a bit shit :/ It really is just a case of getting to Scotland now, and then we're going to get a nice interview with the First Minister and a antsy confrontation with the powers that be...
 
Yeah I thought it was a bit shit :/ It really is just a case of getting to Scotland now, and then we're going to get a nice interview with the First Minister and a antsy confrontation with the powers that be...

I mean you should be proud that you've created such an interesting situation with scotland that we all want to get there and read it.

But it does mean that your main character, the readers and the author are all just like 'meh, yorkshire lets get on to the main show'.

Which is fine, you need a breather chapter to build tension (there's a reaosn why tolkein didn't just skip straight to the big battles) and there was nothing wrong with this. I just don't have anything to say about it.
 
I mean you should be proud that you've created such an interesting situation with scotland that we all want to get there and read it.

But it does mean that your main character, the readers and the author are all just like 'meh, yorkshire lets get on to the main show'.

Which is fine, you need a breather chapter to build tension (there's a reaosn why tolkein didn't just skip straight to the big battles) and there was nothing wrong with this. I just don't have anything to say about it.
Ahh ok :) and yeah that's true, Yorkshire needed to be there after all, if only to make you anticipate the showdown more ;)

The next chapter is going to be a long one...
 

Sideways

Donor
I don't think this chapter was weak at all. The by election was good, as was the idea that moving to York would change Balls and Coopers relationship a lot. Though Balls and Cooper strike me as an OTP. So, sad now.

I was confused by the use of "miss". Is "Ms" somehow less acceptable here?
 
I don't think this chapter was weak at all. The by election was good, as was the idea that moving to York would change Balls and Coopers relationship a lot. Though Balls and Cooper strike me as an OTP. So, sad now.

I was confused by the use of "miss". Is "Ms" somehow less acceptable here?
The second time was a mistake, the first time I used Miss was I highlight the potential for awkwardness over the Balls Cooper relationship (and her unmarried status).

I agree Balls/Cooper (Booper?) is an OTP, but I think the stress of the federal tranisition might break it up...

Thank you though, I'm glad you enjoyed it! The by-election was important, I think, for showing the pluralist nature of a federal UK (so Yorkshire would not have a big Tory presence, for example...)
 
Thank you though, I'm glad you enjoyed it! The by-election was important, I think, for showing the pluralist nature of a federal UK (so Yorkshire would not have a big Tory presence, for example...)
I too enjoyed it, although if I'm honest having just read through it again (and a Devonian) I'm still chuckling away at the border protests on the Cornish border.
 

Sideways

Donor
I agree Balls/Cooper (Booper?) is an OTP, but I think the stress of the federal tranisition might break it up...

I quite agree. But I would pay for sequel where they get together after a surprise BIP victory pushes Labour into opposition.

Is it weird to want to ship a real life married couple? Probably it is BSW. Stop talking about this now
 
I too enjoyed it, although if I'm honest having just read through it again (and a Devonian) I'm still chuckling away at the border protests on the Cornish border.

Haha good, I'm glad the sort of slightly funny bits actually work and are amusing! Mebyon Kernow is pretty funny in real life, I just turned them up to eleven here...

I quite agree. But I would pay for sequel where they get together after a surprise BIP victory pushes Labour into opposition.

Is it weird to want to ship a real life married couple? Probably it is BSW. Stop talking about this now

Haha maybe I'll write a special vignette just for you!
 
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