1538
Scotland begins the year of 1538 with a
very near miss. In confinement and waiting to be churched, Madeleine of France's health takes a nose dive after the birth of her daughter but (after being threatened with the removal of some very required lower parts and everything attached by King James), the physicians manage to save her. For Scotland, there's no death...
For France, however, there definitely
is. Diane de Poitiers, mistress of Henry, Duke of Orleans, is found shortly after Christmas. Dead[1]. Bile spilling from her throat. "Poisoned!" screams the Duke of Orleans. He's right, though he doesn't know it. On receiving the news of Diane's death, Catherine de' Medici -- having done the actual dead of poisoning Diane - cackles with laughter for two straight days before putting on a suitable mask of mourning when Henry finally decides that, since his mistress is dead, he may as well return to fucking his wife.
Now, where does one get poison in France, you may ask? Surprisingly, from the Spanish Queen of France. Eleanor wants Catherine out of her husband's bed -- Catherine only went there for the poison anyway, so is more than willing to leave -- and to be in it herself and Catherine wants the poison. The twosome come to an agreement. Catherine will influence King Francis to bed Eleanor... and Eleanor will get Catherine some of the Mercury used to treat Francis's syphilis; at this point it's currently on the less potent side of things and, provided the King can stop himself from having all of the sex with all of the ladies of France, it might remain that way!
Inviting Diane de Poitiers to visit her, Catherine drugs her wine and watches as Diane chokes to death. For the Medici woman, it's victory. For the Spanish woman, it is too. Francis comes to her bed on some words by his daughter-in-law, whom he actually favours a lot: The Emperor can't try and annul his sister's marriage and place her somewhere more powerful if she's pregnant or has a child...
This works. For Francis, who wants to lord one over on Charles, having the... ahem... sexy-times... with Eleanor isn't a problem and, much to Eleanor's delight and France's surprise, his wife is pregnant within months, announcing the news in the middle of March.[2]
Speaking of Spaniards - or, one of them anyway - Ferdinand, King of Hungary through his wife, Anna, makes peace with someone with an incredibly weird name - John Zápolya, the
other King of Hungary. On February 24th, the two of them agree on the Treaty of Nagyvárad: Ferdinand recognises Zápolya as John I, King of Hungary and ruler of two-thirds of the Kingdom, while Zápolya concedes the rule of Ferdinand over Western Hungary, and recognises him as heir to the Hungarian throne, since Zápolya is childless. Ferdinand, victorious where Hungary is concerned, says goodbye to his daughter, Elisabeth of Austria, in July as the frail and epileptic twelve year old Princess is shipped off to France to marry the twenty year old Dauphin.[3]
As for Emperor Charles, he and Francis declare peace in the Truce of Nice in June, finally ending the Italian War of 1536-1538.
England, on the other hand, has a mainly quiet and peaceful year. Sort of. Technically. Maybe?
Thomas Boleyn, Duke of Wiltshire and Ormond dies on January fifth, three days after his horse loses a shoe and crushes him[4]. His son, George, succeeds him, aged almost thirty four, as Duke of Wiltshire and Ormond. Though Anne, Mary and George will never (publicly) admit it, they're glad he's dead - he can't tear them apart anymore. With his father exerting less pressure on him for a son - no pressure, in fact, as he's
dead - George's relationship with his wife begins improving as her belly begins bulging with their child.
Edward Fitzroy, Henry's illegitimate son with Jane, is created Viscount Beauchamp of Hache on February 12th and given the Manor of Bisham after the Abbey is closed down[5] - Anne, at the news, goes into labour two weeks early. Princess Anne of England is born at three in the morning on February 13th. She will be the couple's last child.
Henry Fitzroy's wife, Mary, announces her second pregnancy in March. William Stafford tells his wife Mary that he's surprised Richmond took so long to get his wife pregnant again - while he may look like his father, Richmond has one enormous difference: his father is enormously fat and he isn't - his father can barely get it up, Richmond doesn't have that problem; the only things that grow for Richmond are his muscles, his cock at the sight of his wife, and his family. Well, and his wealth too, as Richmond is, after the King, the richest Duke in the Kingdom.
In April, Gregory Cromwell and his wife arrive at Lewes, in Sussex, with a large retinue and set up house in the former Cluniac Priory of St. Pancras, which has been recently obtained by his father. A week after arrival his wife, Elizabeth Seymour, gives birth to a son - Henry, named after the King.[6]
Then, things change drastically in England -- King Henry suffers a health scare after the ulcers caused by his jousting injury tear open and start oozing everywhere. Already unable to exercise and growing steadily in poundage, the ulcers confine the King to bed for months and, when he emerges in August, he's hardly recognisable - blown up like a balloon and waddling, the King is enormously fat... and probably addicted to food as well. One thing is obvious - there'll be no more children from his marriage to Anne or any future relationship - not at his size and weight.
Richmond becomes the most handsome man in the English Court, much to his wife's annoyance as she was happy to have him all to herself.
Days after the King emerges in August, Jane Boleyn goes into labour. It's not a son - Lady Jane Boleyn and Lady Eleanor Boleyn are born on August 18th[7]. Jane's labour means that she is unable to attend Princess Anne's christening on August 25th. The King's damaged legs means that he has to sit, rather than stand, at the Christening.
As a "reward" for his services with the dissolution of the Monasteries, Thomas Cromwell is made Duke of Essex and Earl of Wimbledon - a title which his son, Gregory, uses - on October 12th[8]; at the same time, in Scotland, Queen Madeleine announces that she is, once again, with child. Scotland prays for a boy.
On December 17th, Henry is finally excommunicated from the Catholic Church. For the King, who's enormously fat, addicted to food, and has bad legs, it's the final injustice. But, with his enormously bloated and swollen physique, there's little he can do.
When Princess Madeleine of Scotland turns one year old, Mary Fitzroy goes into labour and, in the evening of December 25th, Thomas Fitzroy is born. Six days later, Prince Edouard of France, son of Francis and Eleanor, is born - mere hours before the year ends.
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[1] - Much earlier than history.
[2] - Never occurred in history. There were, historically, no children from the marriage.
[3] - Never occurred in history. She married the King of Poland instead and died childless.
[4] - Slightly earlier than on history and more violent.
[5] - This, as you can probably tell, is the OTL Edward VI - in this case, I gave him his uncle OTL title.
[6] - Both of these things did happen in 1538, but I don't know what order they occurred in.
[7] - Don't be disappointed, please!
[8] - Historically, it was Earl of Essex and Baron Cromwell of Wimbledon. I just upgraded them a little.