A completely wankish Deutschwank (Because Adam Requested It :))

Adam made a suggestion/request here a really enjoyable Deutschwank with NO attempt at realism. So, here we go:

September 1939: Hitler invades Poland, per OTL. Events proceed as per normal, since at this point it already was a Deutschwank.

May/June 1940: The Dunkirk Disaster occurs, when the entire BEF and
French allies are captured or killed by expert Luftwaffe/Heer cooperation.

July 1940: Winston Churchill has a stroke and drowns in his bathtub. Lord Halifax becomes PM. German bombing of London and other British cities begins shortly thereafter.

August 1940: Anglo-German peace talks begin.

September 1940: Treaty of Nuremberg is signed, Britain and Germany are at peace.

January 1941: The entire upper echelon of the Soviet military leadership is hit by a falling meteorite while in conference, and all die. Soviet plans to invade Germany are postponed.

April 1941: Germany invades the Soviet Union, the totally unprepared Soviet military starts to collapse almost immediately.

July 1941: The Soviet Union surrenders unconditionally to Germany. Germany captures all Soviet leaders, including Molotov and Beria, except Stalin, who commits suicide before he can be captured. Germany officially annexes European Russia, and occupies all of the remainder of the Soviet Union.

September 1941: The Stalingrad Trials are held, where the top Soviet political leadership are put on trial for "Crimes Against Humanity". Evidence of Soviet mass murder and oppression is widely disseminated. All of the Soviet leaders are convicted and hung.

October 1941: German panzers roll into China, crushing remaining opposition to Japanese rule.

December 1941: The Kyoto Accords are drawn up, dividing Eurasia into Spheres of Influence between the Three Axis Powers. South Africa, as an allied state, gains control of most of Sub-Saharan Africa under German supervision. Germany begins a benign occupation of Iran and India, seen as "Aryan" states, a much less kindly occupation of Mesopotamia and Arabia. The Generalplan Ost is in full implementation by this time.
 
I've always thought the best POD for a Deutschewank is the 'Race to the Sea' in 1914, but people always think Schlieffen Plan or nothing. Or they go for WW2, mainly I think because of the impressiveness of Panzerblitz campaigning and the black and white moral issues involved.
 
I've always thought the best POD for a Deutschewank is the 'Race to the Sea' in 1914, but people always think Schlieffen Plan or nothing. Or they go for WW2, mainly I think because of the impressiveness of Panzerblitz campaigning and the black and white moral issues involved.

I just like the idea of "creat your own dictator!" as opposed to dealing with the complex nature of the Kaiserreich, which I have little direct knowledge of. There, I admitted it :D
 
But the Kaiserriech was so much nicer, they didn't have ideas in their head, they just wanted a border re-shuffle. And they were so much more powerful than the Nazis, with their magnificent fleet, high trajectory artillery and siege train.
 
*looks at the TL*

October 1941: German panzers roll into China, crushing remaining opposition to Japanese rule.

This sounds a lot like a game I've been recently playing, except that the Germans get to keep their conquered territories instead.:D
 
The thing about Nazi Germany was that on balance it was so weak compared to those it fought, so as soon as it's opponents lifted their games Nazi Germany was screwed. I mean trying to blockade Britian with 50 uboats and a handful of ships, or trying to beat the SU's 15,000 tanks with 3000. And they didn't want to just beat it's enemies, it wanted to extinguish them, kill millions of their citizens and enslave the survivors with these pitiful forces. It's just so unrealistic.

But in 1914 the situation was vastly different. Imperial Germany was the big boy on the block, with the worlds 2nd largest navy, so large that the Brits had to enter into treaties and redeploy their battleships at home to counter it. It could deploy 7 armies on it's border with France, matched by 5 French armies and it was well known that the German army was much smaller that it could be. Not only that but German armies were world leaders in the newest weapons, their divisions and corps had high-trajectory howitzers while the French only had light field guns. With this power they only wanted a handful of things; a re-shuffling of borders within Europe, (why did Russia have more of a right to rule Poland and the Baltics than anyone else?) a few indemnities and changes to the alliance structure so that Germany wasn't encircled. Perhaps that's a lot, but not a patch on the aims of everyone in WW2.
 
Germany came close in WWII, though, and might have succeeded with better planning. But I digress....

How about the Kaiserreich developing tanks earlier and deploying them better, more like they did in WWII?
 
Germany came much closer to achieveing it's war aims in WW1 than it did in WW2. Germany lost WW1 mostly on the strategic/operational level, whereas it lost WW2 on the structural/political/grand-stategic level and this is sooooo much harder to change than the lower levels.

It is so much easier to get WW1 Germany to; reinforce the right wing and thereby win the race to the Sea/use their large navy more effectively to disrupt British shipping, even from their OTL position in Belgium/concentrate their war in the East, avoiding Verdun/et. al. etc. than it is for WW2 Germany to; have enough oil & other resources not found in Germany/have more industry/build up their forces from virtually nothing in a few years/abandon many of the destructive Nazi policies and war aims/have the Nazi regime formulate a coherent and rational stratigic plan/et. al. etc.
 
Which to me is why it's fun to make ATL's with a sane German leadership post-WWI. One thing about a Kaiserreich victory...wouldn't the Poles have also gotten their own state...but under German control? And Ukraine likewise? That was the plan, wasn't it?
 
All sorts of people will tell you all sorts of things about what was going to happen. And in fact, like everyone, German war aims changed as the war progressed and by 1918 the war had turned into a radical, ideological war with radical, ideological aims as expressed at Brest-Litovsk and Versailles. However if the war had ended a year earlier the aims wouldn't have been so radical and the peace treaties not as punitive. I personally think that after a settling down period a victorious Germany would set up a customs union with nominally independent sattelite states, including Poland and the Baltics.
 
*looks at the TL*



This sounds a lot like a game I've been recently playing, except that the Germans get to keep their conquered territories instead.:D

I had a dream with Dietrich in Peking, though it took until the 1950s...

Best Regards
Grey Wolf
 
Assuming that's Marlene Dietrich, I can think of things I'd rather do than talk. :D

If it's Sepp Dietrich, then yes! Talking! Definitely talking! :eek:

It was definitely Sepp. I was somewhere else (I forget where - the dream is written up here somewhere) and it was on the radio that Dietrich had entered Peking with his panzers

Best Regards
Grey Wolf
 
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