Introduction
November 2011 - The rose garden of the White House. President Obama, looking far older than he had even 2 months earlier, walks to the podium. Speculation about his health had become the unofficial national pastime, as he had turned from a smiling, handsome black man to a bald and pale shell of himself who could barely make it through a medium-length speech. And today, it was time to answer those rumors.
"My fellow Americans, I have been very honored and pleased to serve you as your President. Unfortunately, as a result of my long battle with cigarette smoking, I have been diagnosed with an aggressive and terminal form of lung cancer. In order to spend as much time possible with my wife and family, I am resigning from the presidency. I love you all and thank you very much, and I am pleased to introduce our 45th President, Joseph Robinette Biden."
October 2012 - The first two debates of the election between Biden/Clinton and Trump/Christie had been a somber affair, thanks to former president Obama's death on the eve of the first debate and his ensuing state funeral. Even the eccentric Republican nominee, Donald Trump, was restrained, saying that "while I disagree very much with Obama's presidency, he died much too soon." Even the vice-presidential debate had been a solemn and muted discussion, focused as much on Obama's legacy as on the future of the nation. By the third debate, though, America was ready for a return to the good ole days of raucous debate and discussion. The unexpected additional topic, of course, was the Billy Bush tapes as well as a parade of sexual assault allegations that had emerged against Trump. The following exchange would be regarded as one of the greatest and most memorable moments in the history of debating:
BIDEN: I do not understand why this guy is still even running when he's battling with so many women accusing him of violent sex offenses.
TRUMP: Joe, there are two men on stage tonight, and only one of them was captured by the press groping a woman. On September 8, 2012. Just over a month ago.
Trump proceeds to pull out a picture from the Associated Press showing Biden being cozy with a biker woman
BIDEN: She was completely fine with it!
TRUMP: Wrong. You might have missed it, but she was at my rally in Ohio last weekend and she's coming out with a tell-all any day now.
BIDEN (by now visibly upset): That's a load of malarkey, malarkey, utter bull, and manure.
The effects were swift and immediate. Twitter was, ahem, atwitter with graphics saying "Biden.exe has stopped working", and when the woman appeared in a Trump commercial discussing how Biden had "traumatized me for life" it was clear that Biden faced an uphill battle for election in his own right.
The kicker was a Halloween night special on Glenn Beck that described Biden as "the scariest thing in America" and that openly speculated whether Biden's 2010 meeting with the son of disgraced Penn State football coach Joe Paterno had any "sinister" implications. The existence of a president who had groped women and had allegedly been involved in the sickening Penn State child abuse scandal was shocking, and to many swing voters it was described as "worse than Watergate".
-Per the rules, no debate please!-