"What Madness Is This?" - A Timeline

Working on the American Theatre of War chapter! :D

@Napoleon53; I found these pictures. Are any of these the one you were looking for? If not you could post the pic you wanted in paint program, then attach it to the site. :)



Plus, I'll definitely have to check "The Age of Napoleon" out sine time soon. :D

Good finds! I'll have to use these. :)
 
For all you guys wondering just how dystopic this TL will get, I have this special, one-time-only preview of the future. Observe the punny horror:

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:eek::D I made it myself. Pun alert.
 
This chapter contains some of the most bizarre partitioning ever, but it actually is totally logical, ITTL. The butterflies in this TL are already massive and create an almost unrecognizable 1800+. Any suggestions welcome! :D Also, I have this whole TL mapped out in my head up to (currently) 1960! I'm definitely moving this universe toward an horrifically Orwellian future in every paragraph.

War of 1812: Caribbean Theatre
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British command in the Caribbean following the destruction of the Royal Navy fell to General Edward Michael Pakenham, who had decided to hold up in the Bahamas to fend off repeated Georgian expeditions launched from Florida to capture the islands. He barely held the line in late 1812 when a force under General Arthur Alexander assaulted Nassau by sea. Grudgingly, Alexander turned back to regroup his forces after a failed beach landing. Thomas Bragg, father of the later famous Braxton Bragg, marched a large Carolinian army down the coast to board the allied Georgian navy for an a new attack.

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Edward Pakenham

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Arthur Alexander

On the day before Christmas, the Southron forces landed and finally chased Pakenham out. Several thousand British died over the next few days of island hopping. A small Spanish fleet gave chase off the coast of Cuba, forcing Pakenham to flee to Jamaica, the last real British stronghold in the Caribbean. Georgia left a sizable force to occupy the Bahamas and then sailed down with a few Spanish and French ships to lay siege to the island. Abruptly, facing starvation and defeat, Pakenham's rowdy militiamen turned on him and his few actual remaining English soldiers and handed them over to Alexander.

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Pakenham's Lobsterbacks are massacred by the Jamaican Militia

Intensive talks ensued about the island's future, and the new "leader" of Jamaica, Henry Boniface, pleaded for independence and allegiance in return for not having an occupying force ravage the former Redcoat colony. Andrew Jackson stubbornly refused, claiming that Jamaica should be the Carolinas' reward from for undercutting Britain's cotton and tobacco prices before. Georgia squawked over it and negotiations went back and forth. Finally, Napoleon stepped in and said he would grant their independence as a satellite of both Georgia and the Carolinas. Boniface became Minister Prime of Jamaica. A new country was born.

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Flag of Jamaica

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Minister Prime Henry George Boniface of Jamaica

With the Allies clear of having to occupy Jamaica and with the Bahamas in hand, they were free to declare open season on the rest of the British colonies in the New World. France and Spain had pressing matters in Europe to attend to, so it left Georgia and company to pick from the island buffet.

Andrew Jackson immediately annexed Saint Kitts and Nevis, Barbados, the Virgin Islands, and Antigua and Barbuda. Georgia, still under the fiery 82 year-old Prime Minister Bulloch, resented this and sent Arthur Alexander to snatch up Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, as well as Grenada and the Cayman Islands. They then disputed Saint Lucia with Jackson, but finally let the Carolinas have it in exchange for some new trade rights. Spain at first did not like this, but let it go as they hurried and retook Trinidad and Tobago before "Andy the Island Emperor" could sink his expansionist Southron jaws into it.

Napoleon, at this point in time, finally agreed to follow through on his promise to reward Jackson for his compliance with the undercutting of Britain's prices, and arranged for France and Holland to pull out of the Leeward and Windward Islands, forming the Carolinian Virgin Islands. The Dutch and French citizens on the island cluster weren't wild about this, so Jackson granted them an appearance of independence as the Virgin Islands Confederacy, while they essentially became his personal property and he appointed Thomas Bragg as Governor-General.

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Thomas Bragg lands to assume command of the Virgin Islands

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Thomas Bragg, Governor-General of the Virgin Islands Confederacy

Upon Jackson implementing the bizarre form of self-government in the Virgin Islands, the Confederation of the Carolinas' Congress flew into a constitutional crisis. They managed to agree to it for the moment after several emergency meetings, but they were kicking the can down the road for further (much larger) problems.

Virginia got in on the game late, but Vice President Monroe suddenly offered a very large sum of cash and cotton and tobacco to Spain in exchange for Cuba. Spain, in the bowels of bankruptcy, almost agreed, but decided to reject the offer at the last minute because of the excellent tobacco crops grown on the island.

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James Monroe

The new "territories" were not referred to as colonies by the new administrators, which helped keep them under control, especially as slaves were brought in again to make sure the islands fulfilled their entire reason for existence: agriculture. Slaves that had been free under British rule were allowed to keep their freedom, though they were in the absolute dregs of society. France had no qualms about slavery's expansion, as Napoleon had re-instituted the system himself in Haiti and Louisiana.

The Caribbean Theatre of War had, with the exception of a few roaming British holdout guerrillas, been ended by mid-1813, in a resounding but bloody Allied victory. Now the war would shift north, to Canada, and the Republican Union...
 
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Spain gave up Cuba for a bit of tobacco and cotton? Cuban cigars must not be around at this point, nor their other vast plantations. Anyone going to make a move toward Guiana and Aruba?
 
Only one comment so far?

Spain gave up Cuba for a bit of tobacco and cotton? Cuban cigars must not be around at this point, nor their other vast plantations. Anyone going to make a move toward Guiana and Aruba?

And a tidy sum of cash. ;) I actually use advice on that, really: What is the most plausible way someone can buy Cuba? Spain is totally in debt in this because of non-stop warfare so they'd probably be willing to ask a fair price.

Aruba stays Dutch, most likely. Holland is a puppet state. Guiana is an interesting question, and I'll have to do some research.
 
Come on guys! :D

And also, I'm retconning Virginian Cuba. Virginia will still get it soon, though. Just wait. :rolleyes:

EDIT: Done! Spain rejects the offer.
 
Good update! Very interesting and creative territorial changes. I did not see France and the Netherlands giving up their colonies for one thing. Basically, now the Carribean is just one big Southron pond, for know, they very well might loose it. :p
 
Okay, I'm back, guys! :D

I expect to have updates over the next couple days, so stay tuned!

I just discovered how I want to buy the new Bioshock Infinite game (I knew nothing about it till the other day), and I must say, I'm shocked by how much of it is similar to where I want to move this TL. Take away the sci-fi/steampunk elements, and Infinite could very well have been rip-off of my imagination. :p:D Infinite has a permanent "1890s-1910s" aura that is also a racist, genocidal, dystopia, and that's EXACTLY what I want to do here. Think "The Music Man" meets "Stormfront.com." Haha!
 
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How many active timelines do yu have at the moment? I like most of them, but I fear you might be overburdening yourself.
 
How many active timelines do yu have at the moment? I like most of them, but I fear you might be overburdening yourself.

It IS my main hobby. :D

With Rooster managing AKII, that leaves me with this as a serious TL, and I have... two, I think, that I mess around with in ASB (anything I do in ASB is subject to my whimsey, and is usually comedy). I write all the time anyway, so I love it! :D Oh, yes, and I have one uber-secret novel I write in every once in a while saved to my computer, but that's for the far future and I rarely work on it.
 
Welcome back Napo! I'm eagerly await the new updates! Speaking of updates, I'm going to updating the Zombie edition of AKII real soon. :D

Oh, about that uber-secret novel, can I PM you about that once you reply to my latest PM. I have at least two ideas for an AH novel, though I haven't written them, yet. :cool: Still trying to find the prefect idea.

One more thing, I almost forgot to re post my USA infobox. I corrected it and uploaded it to my deviantart page over a month ago, but I kept forgetting to re-post it. :p

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Welcome back Napo! I'm eagerly await the new updates! Speaking of updates, I'm going to updating the Zombie edition of AKII real soon. :D

Oh, about that uber-secret novel, can I PM you about that once you reply to my latest PM. I have at least two ideas for an AH novel, though I haven't written them, yet. :cool: Still trying to find the prefect idea.

One more thing, I almost forgot to re post my USA infobox. I corrected it and uploaded it to my deviantart page over a month ago, but I kept forgetting to re-post it. :p

Awesome! Looking forward. :cool:

Sure, feel free to PM me about it! Only one other person has read it, but I might give you a preview.

That looks bloody fantastic! You're really good at these infoboxes. Can I have a link to your DA?
 
Awesome! Looking forward. :cool:

Sure, feel free to PM me about it! Only one other person has read it, but I might give you a preview.

That looks bloody fantastic! You're really good at these infoboxes. Can I have a link to your DA?

Updates will come soon, rest assure. :cool:

I will definitely PM you about that novel, just as soon as you reply to my last PM. My reply to your reply of that last PM will be about the novel no doubt.

Thanks. :) The link is right here.

http://toonart789.deviantart.com/

It's AH stuff for the moment, though there's a ton of cartoon related fan art I'm planning on uploading pretty soon. :D
 
Don't think I posted this yet! :eek: Ah, well, as I finish the new chapter, here be a map. PLEASE inform me if I made any errors.

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All right! Here we go, mates! I'm back to writing after a period of absence. This chapter is really just me providing essential information and trying to oil the writing gears. Any suggestions to make the chapter better/more realistic are, as always, extremely welcome. It's going to get much more interesting in the next chapters. Everything written up to now was actually a preface for the apocalypse that is to follow. Everything past this chapter is now ITTL "The End of Days." This will, I think, be thoroughly ingrained in all your minds as one of the most heartless dystopics ever on this site a few months from now. All the metaphorical sacred cows must die. :eek::D

War of 1812: The Canadian Theatre

Drummond's Campaign of Terror
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"We are Hellhounds sent to escort the Americans to Sheol." - Gordon Drummond, Commander of the British Army of Canada

The amount of British troops in Canada in 1812-13 was incredible. William had fallen hook-line-and-sinker for the trap and had left the British Motherland undermanned, all for the sake of defending glorious Canada from the Frogs and their nonexistent invasion. However, by late 1813, the Corsican Ogre was turning his territory-sensitive Roman schnoz to
the snowy remnant and current bastion of British power. He basically threatened the Republican Union government into finally joining the Allies in a formal way and called for troops to help in the invasion of Canada and for military access to move through R.U. lands. The R.U., under Chief Consuls Oliver Wolcott, Jr., and Joseph Bloomfield, was very hesitant to get involved, mainly because it hated to ally with its southern neighbors for anything. When the Chief Consuls received a promise of new territory (the R.U. wanted to expand badly to compete with the South, but had no where to expand in before this), it sealed the deal.

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Consuls Bloomfield and Wolcott

The British commander of the Army of Canada was Gordon Drummond, the first Canadian-born officer to command a British army. He tried to ship troops back to England when news began arriving of the disaster in Europe. Several thousand soldiers died when their transports were sunk by Danish sloops prowling the cold waters of the North Atlantic around Greenland. To top it off, the newly hostile R.U. had made a surprise attack into New Brunswick and Nova Scotia, while a small fleet from Europe barraged the Nova Scotian coast. The troops in Halifax and Fredericton, which formed about 15% of the British Army of Canada, were bottled up on both sides and were taking heavy casualties.

General Philip McDonald planned to bust out at Saint John and then march along the coast until he would come up behind American General Zebulon Pike's forces. After disabling Pike he was to march south, spreading terror and fear in the R.U. and try to burn as much of the country as possible.

Zebulon Pike was beaten, and beaten badly. McDonald requested that Drummond bring up every bit of soldiery Canada had in a full frontal assault on the Republican Union. McDonald stated that, "We are going to lose this war, Commander. We are going to lose no matter what. But damn my eyes if we aren't going to see the Republican Union burn before we're done. I ask you to join me on this attack, and like King Leonidas and the 300, we will march gallantly and with our heads held high to our own glorious demise."

Drummond responded to McDonald's request by saying, "Aye, I will come. We are Hellhounds sent to escort the Americans to Sheol. This is God's Work, McDonald. Kill all you find. Take no prisoners. Decimate them."

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Gordon Drummond

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Philip McDonald

The Republican Union called for immediate assistance from the other Allies. France was en route, but not in large enough numbers. Virginia was preparing, as was the Confederation of the Carolinas. But Georgia and West Florida, as well as Spain, seemed extremely slow in giving a darn about the hateful Union's fate, which was, in a way, a fair reaction, considering the R.U.'s attitude to its neighbors. And also in a way, they almost wanted to see the R.U. get taken down a notch. This decision and reluctance to help, though seemingly wise at the time, doomed the world to the future a horrible fate.

The beginning of the true dystopia was when McDonald plowed through the terrified militias in upper New England. One city after another burned. The British wanted nothing more than revenge and supplies to keep the fight going, not to add conquered territories to the defunct Empire. When Drummond joined in, cruising across the R.U.-Canadian border with no resistance, he had a few brief skirmishes with the Green Mountain Republic of Vermont before its government fled in terror southward. Leaving that small country to rot in its own failure, the Commander of Canada marched down to northern Massachusetts to join forces with McDonald. Together, they overwhelmed Zebulon Pike a second time, when Pike died fighting at Mt. Greylock (January, 1814). Canadian militias were still coming down from Northern New York, pillaging as they went, creating a trident formation of armies aiming to impale New York City. But currently, the Anglo-Canadians were laying to siege to Boston, the cradle of the hated American monsters' independence. The R.U. was collapsing, and the panic of losing everything was very real to most.

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Republican troops march to their deaths at Mount Greylock

Bloomfield and Wolcott were furious at the seemingly deliberate lack of willpower from their "allies." President Madison of Virginia was finally sending in troops to put the Canadians down, and the Carolinians were marching to the call of battle, but it was clear by this point that the Republican Union would be virtually destroyed by Canada before the Allies came in and helped in full force.

Boston fell late March, without actually falling. Except for some brief scavenging, the Redcoats didn't actually occupy the city. Instead, they elected to burn as much as they could. Then, they packed up an marched to New York City.

Canadian manpower was running rather low at this point. Drummond and McDonald approached New York City in mid April. On April 22, several cannonballs crashed into the outskirts of the huge city. However, Virginia, Maryland, and CoCaro armies were fast approaching from the south, and the wrathful Canadians were forced to give up and trudge west, uniting with the militias that had been burning New York state itself, and together they trudged west, along the New York-Pennsylvania border. Then, in a surprise move, they jutted back southward into Pennsylvania itself. Following a brief campaign, the Canadians were defeated at Clarion, and from then on out Drummond and McDonald were on the retreat. The war was lost in the New World, and just barely continuing (equally hopelessly) in Britain itself. However, over 150,000 Republican Union men, women, and children had been killed during the Canadian Invasion, and a scar was left on North America that would only deepen as time went on, and is considered by many to be the beginning of the so-called "End Times Era." True horror would result from the actions of Gordon Drummond and Philip McDonald... horror beyond their wildest imagination.
 
Good update. The British kicking the RU's in their captains quarters via Canada was something I didn't see coming at all.

Boston burning? Millions dead? This is truly only the begging of this "End Times" era. I mean, the shits really hit the fan now, I mean REALLY. :eek::D:p

About France, with British victory in the Canadian theater, what does this mean for Europe? Long bloody warfare in Britain I can see, but who will blow up in Frances face? It probably won't be as big a loss as the Invasion of Russia IOTL, so I imagine all of the countries ganging up on France wont happen, at least not for know. This may very well blow up in the long term. :eek:
 
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