"This stinks. How do you stand it?"
"You get used to it."
"I can’t believe you live among them. It’s been what, two years now?"
"Three."
"Unbelievable."
"You might find it more believable if you visited more often."
"I’ve been busy grandfather, attending to all your needs."
"We’ll speak of that soon. What news?"
"I finally found a place where your new carrots and onions will grow."
"Great Island?"
"Yes, but better on the mainlands. They require care."
"Popular?"
"Somewhat. They’re a new thing, all the shaman come from all over to see what its like and spread it around."
"As I expected."
"The iron is more popular. One of their knives, worth four caribou."
"Expected. Did you bring the copper boys?"
"I did, they complained and snivelled every step of the way. You’ve never seen such whiny little bastards. You can’t imagine how unbearable it was."
"I’m sure I can’t."
......
......
"Was that sarcasm?"
"Why would you say that?"
".... I’m not sure. Tell me, do you think the boys will find work."
"They’ve few young people around here. They are not good at making sure their children grow up."
"I see the marks of winter famine all about. They’re a mangy people, these."
"Indeed. But their hardship is our advantage. They need hands, more hands than they have."
"And so their smith will teach them all his secrets? I am sceptical, grandfather."
"He’s childless, lame, his wife is barren... or he is. He has no one to pass his trade on."
"I’ll believe it when I see it.... So, grandfather...."
"Yes."
"Who is this?"
"Ahh, that’s my wife."
"You married one of them? Are you out of your mind?"
"How so?"
"You’re old! What are you doing, going around marrying women at your age?"
"The spirit enters into me, and she seems to like it well enough when I enter her."
"That’s disgusting, grandfather! And anyway, she’s long in the tooth."
"First you complain I’m too old for a wife, and now you say that she’s too old for me? She’s half my age."
"And well worn, you won’t get a child out of her."
"She’s pregnant."
"Grandfather!"
"Hush boy, or she’ll become concerned."
"Can she understand us?"
"No, she can’t. None of them can. A few words here and there is the best they can do. They are not bright, these people."
"What does she think of the rest of your wives?"
"I haven’t mentioned it. They’re not understanding of things like that. They believe in only one wife to a man, no matter how great. It is ordained by their God. We had a ceremony in their big stone house and everything. I had to have water poured on my head."
"That explains a lot about how few children they breed."
"Indeed."
"Any luck teaching them anything useful?"
"Not really. They are set in their ways. I showed them how to plant proper crops, but they would not wait. They pulled them all up after a year and ate them, and then lay around claiming how their bellied hurt. They are like children these people, no patience. Their impulse is their enemy, they have no judgement, they have but to see something or think of something, and they act on it. They cannot hold themselves, will not see further down the road. Even their dogs are inferior animals, no patience, no heart."
"Then why do you keep wasting your time with them. Grandfather, come back with me, you have made a sufficient name for yourself. These people are fools, they cannot learn, they will not be taught. They had a few vegetables to offer, that’s it."
"Look at this. Take it in your hands. Feel it, feel the weave."
"Cloth."
"Remarkable, isn’t it."
"Somewhat."
"My wife made it. Yesterday."
"What?"
"That contraption she is playing at. That’s how she makes it."
"Astonishing. How?"
"It’s a simple thing, when you get the hang of it. She taught me. Tomorrow, I’ll start on teaching you. But there’s more. I have the animals she makes it from."
"Astonishing. What kind of animal?"
"A funny thing, like a tiny hornless caribou, but with long curly hair. They call it a ‘sheep.’"
"That thing I passed, on my way in."
"The same. I have traded many caribou for a few pairs. You will take them with you. But be careful with them, they are not rugged."
"All those caribou. What happens, Grandfather, when they’ve got their own herd?"
"They won’t. They are like children. The notion is foreign to them. They will mind their own herds, their ‘cows’ and ‘pigs’ and ‘sheep’, but the caribou they will slaughter for meat."
"What of these ‘cows’ and ‘pigs’, are they of any use?"
"Inferior animals. They do not handle the winter well, these foolish people spend much time and effort to sustain them, and still they do poorly."
"Sheep then, and cloth, you’ve done well to call me back, Grandfather. I will take your gifts with me, and all will know your name."
"There is another thing."
"What is this you put in my hands, Grandfather."
"They call it a bible. Handle it with care, I have this only on loan. Open it up."
"What is this in it, Grandfather."
"It is their speech."
"Say again."
"It is their speech, their language, but the sounds are made as marks."
......
......
"They’re fucking with you, Grandfather."
"No, I say. I tested them. I took this from one to the other, having them speak out the passages that they saw as marks. The words were the same again and again."
"So what are their words, Grandfather. What tale is in this bible."
"Oh just crazy shit. Something about a flood, and a great big boat, an angry god who harasses them and burns a city, and a bunch of kings, and mad little men doing mad little things to each other. There’s a man who claims to be from their God, but they crucify him and then feel bad. Total fucking unbelievable nonsense."
"Then what’s the point?"
"The idea is sound. It’s the mark of these people that they come up with something sensible, and then use it for the craziest nonsense that they can come up with. But the principle - to take speech and remove it to marks on paper or leather, that has possibilities. Here, let me show you. I have taken their notion, and made my own. This here, this is the sounds of our speech, each mark here means a sound. So if I read them aloud, the words that are written are spoken."
"So what good does it do you to reduce your speech to marks, and then to speak the marks. Waste of time if you ask me."
"Ah, but then they are there. Someone else can speak them, and hear my words through their mouth."
"Sounds like evil magic. To speak words through someone else’s mouth."
"Just magic."
"I don’t really see the point."
"I could write on this, and then give my words to be carried like a knife or a skin, and a shaman on the other side of the world could read them and know my words."
"How would they know what the marks mean."
"Okay, so there are a few flaws. I’m working on it. I will teach you the meanings. You will teach others."
"Sounds like a lot of work to no good effect. Why not just go to the one you wish to speak to, and say it directly."
"Because I’m getting old, you whiny little bastard. I feel it in my bones. Four wives are almost too much for me, and the travel back and forth for them is killing me. I’m stuck out here at the ass edge of the world, and even if I had the time and inclination, I am less and less inclined to make the journey. Better that I could send out my message in writing."
"People carry messages. You tell them, they tell another."
"How reliable."
"Reliable enough."
"Well, this will be better."
"Stick with carrots and sheep, grandfather, this will never catch on."
"We'll see."
"Come back with me, grandfather. You've been among them too long, the smell of them, their filth. They're a dying race, grandfather, as the timid giants of our homelands. They suffer and starve each winter, the marks are on them clearly. Their children die. Their crops are crap and they barely have the wit to farm, their animals are poor. There's little that they have to offer, and they have not the patience or cleverness to benefit from your teaching."
"All of these things are true, and yet, there is still value to be learned from them."
"Crazy stories of floods and half gods nailed to trees? Vegetables you practically need to sit on to make them grow? Middle aged women with maybe one child left in them?"
"Don't be impertinent. Our names have risen for the things we've won from them. And there's more."
"More?"
"These people. They are not from here. They come from somewhere else."
"So."
"There was a boat here a year or two ago, but made of wood all of wood, and a hundred times bigger than our biggest boat. It moved by magic, no oars, just catching the wind as if in great hands. These people are failing here, but elsewhere who knows."
"So somewhere out on the water, there's an even bigger island of drooling morons? Who cares."
"Islands, they tell me. Lands they tell me. Kings and kingdoms. And even if they're feeble half witted bastards, still, they have a handful of marvels and accomplishments to their name."
"Okay, whatever."
"Mark my words, Grandson, they're out there, and they may be dangerous. Best to take their measures now."
I await the interchange with the stupid hairy giants.
