Future Imperfect
Below is a chronicle of the People's Kings of the old American Empire from its rise to its fall, pieced together from what has been recovered by the Califonian Insitute of Historical Research as of 2663 AD/609 PD.
Franklin the Rich 1776-1789
There are unfortunately not many records of the reign of Franklin. What has been recovered indicates that he was a brilliant mind, a wealthy individual and a crucial leader of the American Empire in its formative days. Franklin led the American Empire against the former ruling British Empire and, by the grace of God, managed to lead the nascent nation to victory, heralding the beginning of the greatest empire in history. His image was forever enshrined on the American Empire's currency.
George the Washington 1789-1800
It is not fully understood what George's title of 'the Washington' meant, but what cannot be denied is George was perhaps the greatest of the kings of America. The capital of the American Empire-the now-lost city of Washington-was named in his honor. George had personally lead soldiers into battle and was physically incapable of lying. His rule was peaceful and prosperous for all Americans. When he died, according to traditional American legend, he ascended to Heaven to become an archangel. To this day, the descendants of the Americans he once ruled regularly pay homage to the ascended king, beseeching Saint Washington (as he is most often called) for guidance and to maintain their honesty and integrity regardless of adversity.
Jefferson the Wise 1800-1830
Jefferson was a scholarly, learned individual responsible for writing the Holy Constitution and the Declaration of American Rights among many other revered and since lost documents. His wisdom was great enough that he was able to double the size of the American Empire bloodlessly and map the continent from coast to coast. Jefferson's American Empire was an agrarian paradise where the natural world was treated with respect and all Americans lived in harmony. A passionate believer in freedom, Jefferson encouraged efforts by the downtrodden to rise up against their oppressors and sought to discourage imperial powers from Europe from reasserting control in nations that overthrew their oppressors.
Jackson the Brash 1830-1850
Jackson was an avid champion of the common man and yet at the same time defined 'common man' narrowly. Jackson's government began a pattern of inequalities in the American Empire, persecuting the Native Americans and placing African Americans in bondage (some revisionist historians have claimed that such practices predated Jackson, but based on the reverence previous kings held in later American society, these claims are considered unlikely). Jackson additionally sought to exert powerful authority against local governments on various issues and killed those who sought to limit his power. Under Jackson, the American Empire would war with the neighboring country of Mexico as part of an effort to achieve its believed destiny to stretch from sea to sea. Jackson additionally abolished the American National Bank, sparking major economic issues. Personally, Jackson had a bloodthirsty reputation, killing numerous individuals in duels (including Hamilton, the leader of the American National Bank, though he did so under the pseudonym of Aaron Burr).
The Fool 1850-1860
Historical records have proven largely inconsistent in identifying this king's name. He has been attributed the name Taylor, Davis, Franklin, Buchanan, Pierce, Jefferson, Harrison, Tyler, Filmore or Douglas at various points. However, what is known is that The Fool was undeniably among the worst kings, second only to The Beast. The Fool presided over the expansion of slavery and persecution of Native Americans and women, as well as seeking to exclude foreigners from the country. The Fool sought to enforce slavery upon the entire country before he was overthrown in 1860.
Lincoln the Emancipator 1860-1871
One of the greatest kings the American Empire ever had. Lincoln took power demanding equal rights for all within America, issuing the Emancipation Proclamation to end the cruel practice of slavery. This prompted a backlash among the states that practiced and benefitted from slavery-the ousted Fool led the Ku Klux Klan in forming the Confederate States of America with the goal of maintaining slavery (though fringe historiographies of the Alliance of Aryan Republics and the Holy States dispute this characterization). Lincoln would guide the nation through the war with the slavers and racists, at times personally leading troops in battle under the pseudonym of 'Honest Abe.' According to legend, Lincoln dispatched hundreds of vampiric slaveholders during his reign as well, though evidence of this is scant. Over the course of many years, Lincoln was able to roll back the Fool's forces and liberate the oppressed people of the South. Unfortunately, Lincoln would be cut down by KKK member John Booth. In death, however, Lincoln became a revered figure and monuments to his glory became commonplace. The Lincolnist faith founded in 2188 is merely the most recent example of reverence paid to the Emancipator.
Ulysses the Granter 1871-1899
Ulysses ascended to the throne promising to fulfill Lincoln's legacy. Unfortunately, he proved to not be up to the task, despite his personal heroism in the Emancipation War. Ulysses struggled to crush remnants of the Klan in the defeated South, ultimately giving up altogether rather than risk the throne. Additionally, Ulysses proved to be vulnerable to corrupt advisors in his court and he ended up aligned with the interests of the corrupt trusts. The trusts' exploitation of the American Empire during Ulysses' rule resulted in widespread social unrest and made Ulysses greatly unpopular. Ulysses was nevertheless beholden to them and only managed to distance himself from these problems with new waves of expansionism. Ulysses led America in acquiring Alaska, Hawaii, Cuba and the Philippines and in westward settlement on the largely-lawless frontier. However, Ulysses would ultimately be assassinated much as his predecessor had been.
Theodore the Bold 1899-1926
Theodore was one of two kings from the noble House of Roosevelt and earned the title of 'the Bold' for multiple reasons. First, he proved willing to stand up to the entrenched corporate interests that had been looting the country under Ulysses, engaging in 'trust-busting' wars against the massive business interests and implementing controls on what their successors could do. Theodore personally would lead his Rough Riders against the corporate armies and shrugged off bullets fired at him by their mercenaries and hired assassins, famously declaring that 'you cannot kill a Bull Moose.' Theodore additionally earned his title due to his activities as a hunter-he was such a skilled hunter he set up a series of national preserves specifically intended to protect some of the American Empire's wildlife from the wrong end of his gun. Finally, Theodore led America into the first phase of the World War, leading his Rough Riders into battle against the German forces in Mexico. Theodore managed to triumph in this phase of the World War and forced a ceasefire agreement towards the end of his rule that would provide a temporary peace to the combatants. Theodore led America into the Roaring Twenties, but eventually he died-though, allegedly, not without a fight against Death himself.
Hoover the Silent 1926-1933
Hoover initially became King amidst widespread peace and prosperity and largely intended on not rocking the boat too much so as to allow America to enjoy prosperity. It was this hands-off attitude that led to him earning his nickname as 'the Silent' (alongside his taciturn way of speaking). However, Hoover's nickname soon turned to become a different meaning following the beginning of the Great Crisis. First, the banks simply ran out of money and people began losing their jobs. Then, major natural disasters ravaged the farmlands of inland America. Overseas, authoritarian leaders like Benito Mussolini, Josef Stalin and Adolf Hitler ascended to power with visions of conquering the world. Hoover's response was to refrain from doing anything, believing any action he could take would only make things worse. In the end, however, this amounted to letting millions suffer, which led to his support collapsing and his ultimate removal from power.
Franklin the Dealer 1933-1953
Franklin was the second king from House Roosevelt and like Theodore was a bold reformer. He earned his name from the program he dubbed the 'New Deal,' which consisted of major reforms to the American economy and measures to alleviate the economic and environmental problems plaguing the country. Franklin's efforts were successfully able to provide relief to the struggling public. Franklin's New Deal did not end at the American Empire's borders, however, as it also was the root of his efforts to combat the rise of totalitarianism abroad. When the World War restarted once again, Franklin led the American Empire into the war following the German attack on Pearl Harbor. Franklin's America aligned with Britain, China and France against the Axis of Germany, Japan, Italy and Russia. The war proved long and brutal and millions died. In the end, however, Franklin would lead America to triumph over the Axis. Japan surrendered after Franklin dropped nuclear weapons on the country, half of Europe was liberated by the American Empire from the Germans and the other half would make peace with the Americans following the death of Stalin in 1953, which also ended the fight in Korea between the Russian-backed North and American-aligned South. This seemingly satisfied Franklin, as he died shortly after the war concluded.
Johnson the Handsome 1953-1964
Johnson had been a hero of the World War, leading the D-Day invasion of German-occupied France and helping chronicle the horrors of the Holocaust carried out by the Germans and Russians. This made him a natural fit for heir to Franklin. Upon taking the throne, Johnson would have to contend with many issues. While the World War had ended, Russia's power remained extant over half of Europe and parts of Asia and the country longed to reclaim its past glory. For that reason, the young Johnson embarked on a strategy aimed at containment of the spread of Russian influence, largely carried by the 'communist' ideology it sought to export. Johnson additionally sought to limit the threat of a Final War during these struggles, famously holding off his older, more militaristic advisors from launching a nuclear strike after the Russian-backed Fidel Castro took over Cuba. Johnson also had to deal with major domestic issues-he launched the American Empire's space program to put a man on the Moon, passed 'Great Society' legislation to improve civil rights and the public welfare and became a media darling for his youthful good looks and photogenic nature. Johnson was known to have carried out many extramarital affairs during his time in office, though he tended to use the pseudonym 'JFK' for these dalliances. Ultimately, however, Johnson would be tragically assassinated while visiting his home state of Texas by an assailent whose true identity and motives remained unknown even prior to the Desolation.
Nixon the Devious 1964-1977
Nixon was a much more sinister and unpleasant figure than Johnson was, earning the nickname 'Tricky Dick' due to his deviousness and abrasive personality. Nixon sought to seize an ironclad grip on the American Empire and maintain it in perpetuity. To that end, he fabricated an incident in Asia to justify going to war against various countries in Indochina, where many US soldiers were killed, captured or committed atrocities. Nixon also sought to drive a wedge between Russia and China (the latter being nominally communist, but becoming increasingly dissatisfied being under Russia's thumb). Nixon also targetted his political opponents at home via censorship and police crackdowns. He additionally threatened to roll back Great Society civil rights laws while vowing to restore 'segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever' as a means to increase appeal with white Southerners. Nixon's government also authorized government agencies to carry out unethical human experimentation to gain advantages over the Russians, such as Project MKUltra. However, Nixon's thirst for power would be his undoing, as he would be discovered to have ordered a break-in into the Watergate Hotel to gain leverage on his enemies and sought to assassinate individuals who might leak this. Nixon thus would be forced to resign and retreat from being king.
Reagan the Gipper 1977-1990
To date, it is unclear what 'Gipper' actually meant at the time the label was applied to Reagan, though it has since become a synonym for an actor due to Reagan's old trade being in that career. Reagan was a slick, charismatic individual and was generally fairly idealistic. He saw the world in simple terms as a clash between good and evil and believed good would inevitably triumph. To that end, Reagan sought to topple Russia as an equal power once and for all. He escalated American military buildup and launched the 'Death Star' superweapon program (though the weapon was ultimately destroyed by terrorists, as demonstrated in a dramatized film on the matter). Reagan pursued pro-business economic policies as well, which lead to an economic boom during his reign. Later, however, it would be realized his rule's policies contributed to many subsequent problems. Reagan's efforts would ultimately pave the way for detente with Russia and an end to the standoff between America and Russia. However, trouble would occur for Reagan when it was revealed he had a disease known as Alzheimer's, which leads to memory loss and it had impacted his time as king, forcing him to abdicate.
Clinton the Slick 1990-2000
Clinton was in many ways Johnson cranked up a notch and adjusted for a more peaceful time. Clinton would lead the American Empire into an age of uncertainty and hope, where it was considered the sole world superpower and likely to remain such for the foreseeable future. Clinton led the American Empire into the Gulf War against Iran under the Ayatollah Saddam Hussein after they invaded the American ally of Qatar, successfully pushing out the Ayatollah and his Ba'athist armies. Clinton presided over an economic boom bolstered by new (and since tragically lost) technology that enabled rapid communications and interaction. Clinton additionally intervened in Yugoslavia amidst widespread ethnic tensions. Domestically, Clinton was to the left of Reagan but sought to outflank Reagan's conservative allies via middle-of-the-road economics and dealmaking with Reaganite advisors like Nute Gingrich. However Clinton found himself challenged by these figures when an extramarital affair he had conducted with a member of his court came out. Clinton faced pressure to abdicate, but was able to avoid having to do so in return for signing a decade-long limit on how long any one individual could retain the throne. Thus he would leave office in 2000.
George the Bushwhacker 2000-2010
George was not the preferred heir to Clinton and his selection by the Royal Electoral College sparked major protests and claims the voting had been rigged. However, George nevertheless took the throne of the American Empire, initially intending to carry on with pursuing the new millennium as it had been in the 1990's. George's plans would be derailed, however, by the November 9th terrorist attacks of 2001. The 9/11 attacks killed thousands of civilians as a result of airplanes crashing into the World Trade Center in the great metropolis of Neyork. George responded by launching what he called 'the War on Terror' to take down the perpetrators of this attack on the American Empire. George invaded Iran over their harboring of the 9/11 attack mastermind Osama Binladen in the country. However, Binladen managed to flee to a neighboring country and wage a guerilla war even after executing Ayatollah Hussein. The conflict, while initially popular in the American Empire, soon became very unpopular. Furthermore, an economic crisis further angered the people of America at large. The anti-establishment Tea Party Occupy movement gained popularity across the nation, agitating for major reforms of both conservative and progressive nature. Despite the growing discontent, George dedicated himself fully to taking down members of the terrorist network Binladen had set up. While he successfully averted further attacks, it ensured he would be repudiated by his successor.
Obama the Diplomatic 2010-2020
Obama was the first African-American King of the American Empire, seeming to represent the culmination of the efforts to achieve equal rights by minorities and promising to bring change. Unfortunately, Obama struggled to overcome institutional inertia in the American Empire and in hindsight his rule can be described as the first to be entirely within the waning period of the American Empire. Obama's antiwar instincts ran up against the rise of the fundamentalist ISIS organization in the Middle East which threatened to attack America and necessitated continual American involvement in the region. The economic downturn alleviated somewhat, but Obama's economic policies were seen by those on the right wing of the TPO as too far to the left and by the TPO's left wing as underwhelming. His healthcare plan, for instance, was simultaneously condemned as being Russian-influenced and as empowering major corporate interests. Obama also faced a rise in racial discontent from the radical fringes of the country, something that paved the way for a considerably unhinged successor.
Donald the Mad 2020-2021
Donald the Mad belonged to the wealthy and influential House Trump and managed to become King largely thanks to corrupt dealmaking behind the scenes. However, it quickly became apparent the king was an incompetent fool. He regularly praised leaders opposed to the American Empire such as Kim Jinping and Viktor Putin, often made blatantly false claims to the public and denied ongoing environmental disasters. Additionally, Donald imposed a cruel series of laws on immigration such as separating children from their parents. Ultimately, Donald's mental state degenerated enough that he was forced to leave office. A few revisionist historiographies claim Donald's madness was propaganda spread by his enemies, who removed him from power in a coup. The bulk of evidence available indicates that these claims in all likelihood are false.
Sanders the Ancient 2021-2029
Sanders was the oldest king the American Empire ever had, being already a white-haired old man at the time he took charge. Sanders' reign saw the implementation of extremely progressive political reforms, such as ensuring universal healthcare and making access to all education a fundamental right. Sanders also was in charge when the Climate Crisis began and took steps to alleviate it before it got worse. His Green New Deal, the brainchild of his advisor Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, sought to radically restructure the American economy to make it more sustainable. Sanders' efforts on this front faltered, however, due to the loss of vast amounts of capital to offshore accounts thanks to his increased tax rates. Sanders nevertheless persisted in his efforts to roll back the Climate Crisis. However, in the end, his age would catch up with him. King Sanders would die in his sleep in 2029. It is worth noting that some individuals claim Sanders' reign was far shorter, ending in 2023 to 2026, or that his rule was actually the rule of the aforementioned Ocasio-Cortez as Queen Alexandria the Just. However, based on other documents from later in history, it is not generally believed by historians that America ever had a queen and it is universally believed that Sanders did not die until 2029.
Kirk the Unready 2029-2039
Kirk was one of the younger individuals to preside over the American Empire. Perhaps it was for this reason that his rule was characterized by so much misfortune and failures. Kirk's misfortune began early when he was selected by the Royal Electoral College as the king despite popular support favoring other candidates. Then there was the worsening Climate Crisis as hurricanes smashed entire cities around the Southern Gulf and droughts turned much of the American Empire's farmland into arid, lifeless lands. Kirk refused to take measures to combat the Climate Crisis, rolling back most of Sanders' environmental efforts and the Green New Deal. Kirk additionally was hostile to aiding individuals displaced by the Climate Crisis, barring millions from entering America even if it meant their deaths. Kirk additionally would go to war in Brazil following the ascension of a far-left government in the country, setting up a half-decade long military occupation of the country and propping up a military junta. He would additionally send troops to South Africa to stop a fabricated genocide of the country's Boer minority, refusing to withdraw after his claims on the matter were disproven. Kirk additionally sought to roll back the limit on how long he could remain in power, but was stymied by popular protest and was ultimately forced to leave office.
Carter the Iron 2039-2047
Carter, despite his roots in the rather conservative south, was a staunch Sandersite and sought to restore the programs Kirk had abolished. He made some headway on the matter of restoring those programs and added a guaranteed basic income for all citizens to those programs. Carter withdrew support for the Brazilian junta and allowed more climate refugees to enter the country. However, Carter had a dark side to his rule. He governed heavily by fiat, arguing that the deck was too stacked against him to listen to the Congressional Assembly or the Senate. He sought to ban private firearm ownership in the country and place restrictions of business support for political officials. Most controversially, he sought to implement laws against spreading hatred on the basis of inherent characteristics such as race, gender or sexual orientation. This law sparked a major backlash-how warranted has been disputed. Some historians have claimed Carter's laws on the matter were commonplace at the time and generally reasonable, others argue they were examples of government overreach and undue censorship. Thanks to the lack of information on the exact law in question, how reasonable Carter's proposal was is still under dispute and likely will remain such. What is not disputed, however, is the widespread social chaos that occurred in the later years of his rule due to this culminating in the Coup of 2047.
The Beast 2047-2054
The Beast, unlike the Fool, does not have many names, nor is the name inaccessible to historians. Rather, the Beast's monstrous deeds have warranted an effort to let his name be forgotten amidst the ashes of time. The Beast, upon taking power, sought to consolidate support by invading the American Empire's neighbors of Canada, Cuba and Mexico to unify the continent. The Beast murdered large numbers of these countries' citizens as well as many opponents to his rule. These actions served to make him only more unpopular in the eyes of the world and soon the Beast faced hostility from Russia, China and the European League. The Beast paid his critics no mind, however, believing America to be untouchable. However, when the three rivals utilized the Union of Nations to place sanctions on the American Empire, The Beast responded with anger. He declared that he would unleash hell on Earth unless his enemies bowed to his whims. When refused, he made good on his promise. The Beast's actions wiped out civilization almost overnight and marked the beginning of the Desolation. Billions died worldwide-it is unknown if the Beast himself was among them or if he lasted somewhat longer. What is known, however, is that it would take nearly a century for even halfhearted societies to reestablish themselves and even in the modern era we have not recovered what we lost.
May the memory of the Beast serve as a warning of the barbarism man can engage in. May he be torn asunder on the Wheel of Karma for all eternity, never to be reborn. May his name be forgotten, but his sins remembered and never repeated. And may those who live in the future always remember their past, learning from it both what good there has been and what evil.
