#40
View attachment 445252
Late Fall, 1984
Conservative Party Headquarters. Offices of Lee Atwater. In walks Rick, technically a junior staffer but being groomed for bigger things. He’s got a message for Lee.
“We have a problem.”
“Look, it was just a few Confederate flags, we’re fine.”
“What?”
“We’re talking about Florida, right?”
“No. We have a bigger problem.”
“Oh, is this about that House candidate from Maine? No one can prove that’s him on the recording, and even if it was, the first amendment-”
“No, not that.”
“The riot in Jackson?”
“No.”
“The riot in Santa Fe?”
“No.”
“You know, maybe you should just tell me.”
“The strategy memo? Roger didn’t destroy his copy and now he says it’s missing.”
Atwater takes this in.
“So you’re telling me Roger Stone got careless.”
“That’s what he says.”
“By accident.”
“That’s what he says.”
“The secret we’re not even sharing with the candidate, the one Bill Buckley told us to hide from his brother, that’s out there now.”
“Looks like it.”
Atwater starts laughing.
“He sent it to be shredded, it was put aside by mistake, now it’s gone.”
Still chuckling: “No clue where, I take it?”
“None. Should I start beating the bushes?”
“No. We have a contingency for this, but we have to act fast. If we investigate that just gives whoever’s got it more time to work it into a story. If the
Times has it they could be ready to publish...I’d guess we have to the end of the week. We have to get in front of it.”
“Do what, exactly?”
“We own it. Honestly I was always ambivalent about hiding the strategy in the first place. There’s a lot to be said for making this a central message of the campaign. Roger knew I was on the fence and I’m guessing he decided to make the decision for me, the little bastard.”
“So...you want to tell the public our primary goal is to break the electoral system? That’s nuts.”
“It’s who we are already.”
“We’ll be crucified in the press!”
“Let them. Our voters will find us.”
“This is crazy!”
“Look. You want to win a conventional election? I’ve got four school board candidates in Rhode Island who need a hand. But this campaign was never going to be about following the standard playbook. There’s a lot of people out there who are...frustrated. Frustrated with a world that’s getting away from them. Everything they knew, everything they were comfortable with, it’s disappearing, being replaced by...monsters and degenerates. Things are getting tougher. All the old certainties don’t seem so certain anymore. If they could think of a way to solve their problems they would, but they can’t. So they come to us for the next best thing. They want to scream out a big fat ‘NO!’ from the mountaintops. They want to shout it at the world. Say no to the new, say no to change, stop the clock and maybe turn it back. It’s impossible and on some level only the most delusional fail to realize that, but it feels good to try and it’s what they want us to help them do. So that’s what we need to give them.”
That sinks in for a good solid beat.
“So what, we hold a press conference? Tell them our goal is to hang the electoral college and make democracy look like a sham? They’ll call us nihilists.”
“I’m okay with that. Our people won’t know what the fuck a nihilist is. We can let the coasts have that squabble. In the meantime, we get to rally around ‘NO!’ It’s the simplest, clearest campaign message ever conceived.”
“Okay...so...give me a second, I’m trying to wrap my head around this. Hanging the electoral college...that’s a pretty specific outcome. If we keep things vague we can spin a lot of outcomes as victory, but as soon as we tell them we want one thing, that’s what we have to achieve.”
“You’ll help me work on the spin. We’ll phrase it some way that gives us leeway, but make it known our optimal outcome is proving that the system is a sham and that it no longer works for, you know, the true Americans.”
Rick mulls that over.
“I guess we can take a swing at it. So then what happens if we
do win?”
Lee gives him a look that tells him what he thinks about that prospect.
“Fine. But how do we spin this to the party? I mean we have to have some kind of story to tell our people.”
“First we tell them about the war they need to fight. Later we tell them what the peace looks like.”
----
7th and Euclid
“EXTRY! Read all about it! EXTRY! Latest presidential polls! Buckley and Lamm tied for second at 26% apiece! Anderson two points ahead! 20% still undecided three weeks before the election! EXTRY!”
“I’ll be glad when it’s all over.”
“Everybody always says that, but me? I love the horse race.”
“You love selling papers.”
“You know what? I really
do love selling papers. So come on, Hashim, who you voting for?”
“Anderson.”
“Really?”
“Who else? You want me to vote for Buckley?”
“Well he’s got a nice smile. You like a nice smile.”
“Yeah but you know, it’s only second on my list of qualifications for a president behind ‘will they put me in a concentration camp if elected.’”
“Fair enough. So what about Lamm?”
“He creeps me out. Too many weird, semi-racist undertones. You’ve heard the way he talks about immigrants. My parents were immigrants.”
“Yeah, I heard him the other night. Said the country was full up. No more room at the inn.”
“Ridiculous.”
“Yeah?”
“Do you have any idea what the population density in this country is?”
“...I mean,
of course I do, ha!, what kinda question is that.”
A customer stops to buy a paper.
“Hey Charlie, you know what the population density is, right?”
“Uh, yeah, it’s like how many people live in a city block isn’t it?”
“Exactly. Sure. Yeah. So. What Charlie said.”
Charlie leaves, Hashim shakes his head.
“The US has something like 64 people per square mile. But a country like France has 250 per square mile.”
“Woah. That’s a lotta
coq au vin.”
Hashim gives Al a look.
“What? I like Julia Child. She's a national treasure.”
Hashim nods an admission of shared sentiment.
“Anyway, that’s all well and good for the French. But, you know. They’re French.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I mean they’re French, you know? They need less...eh...personal space. There’s a lot more...canoodling going on over there.”
“Maybe we could learn something from them. This country’s too uptight about public affection.”
“You saying you need a hug because-”
“Stay on your part of the sidewalk, please.”
“EXTRY! Orioles top Padres! It’s a World Series sweep! Orioles win it all! EXTRY!!”