#13
View attachment 419320
Winter 1981
The front office of the Uralvagonzavod Factory, Nizhny Tagil, Soviet Union
“Sad news, comrades.”
“What is it, Andrei Grigorievich? You’re pale as a ghost.”
“I just heard over the radio. Our beloved leader, Yuri Vladimirovich has gone to his final rest.”
“Oh no!”
“Anguish!”
“He gave so much to the Motherland!”
“A true hero!”
“How did it happen?”
“Peacefully in his sleep.”
“A just end.”
“He deserved peace.”
“These years guiding our ship weighed heavily on him.”
“Yes. We must show our respects.”
“Of course!”
“Naturally! It’s our patriotic duty!”
“What about a nice floral wreath?”
“As big as we can find!”
“Spare no expense.”
“All of the men will chip in.”
“We’re all patriots here in the factory, we’ll show them that in Moscow.”
“Uralvagonzavod doesn’t forget its obligations!”
“We’ll start collecting right away.”
***
Sixteen Days Later
“Comrades!!!”
“What is it, Andrei Grigorievich? You’re white as a sheet!”
“I just heard over the radio. The Chairman is dead!”
They all look around at each other before one speaks.
“Andrei Grigorievich...we already knew that. It happened over two weeks ago.”
“No! Not Yuri Vladimirovich! Konstantin Ustinovich! His replacement has succumbed!”
“No!”
“What!”
“This is tragedy for you!”
“Anguish!”
“He gave so much to the Motherland!”
“A true hero!”
“How did it happen?”
“He took a fall.”
“Ah! Always a man of action!”
“Couldn’t be slowed down! Not by age! Not by infirmity!”
“And now he rests.”
“He deserves peace.”
“These...um...
days...guiding our ship...have weighed heavily on him.”
“Yes. We must pay our respects.”
A brief pause as the men look around the room.
“Um. Yes! Of course!”
“Yes. A chairman is a chairman, after all.”
“We’ll...all dig deep, I’m sure. The men will come through.”
“Uralvagonzavod is...well...do we think another wreath this time, or…?”
“...We did somewhat raid our reserves on the last one.”
“Flowers
are hard to come by, this time of year.”
"And the men..."
"They do what they can of course!"
"Of course!"
"No one doubts the ardor of our brother workers!"
"It's just..."
"Well..."
"Sixteen days..."
“Perhaps a nice framed proclamation?”
“Yes!”
“I think that will be much appreciated.”
“Tasteful!”
“Certainly our duty.”
“We’ll start collecting right away.”
***
Nineteen Days Later
“...Um...Comrades?”
----
7th and Euclid
“EXTRY! EXTRY! Andropov, Chernenko, and Ustinov makes the hat-trick. Three Soviet leaders dead in just five weeks! EXTRY!
Hashim loudly crinkles his open newspaper.
“EXTRY! Mars in retrograde! Geminis: love is just around the corner!”
“What are you doing?”
“I’m reading the news. Just like you.”
“You’re reading a horoscope.”
“It’s in the newspaper isn’t it?”
“It’s not news.”
“It’s in the newspaper so I’m shouting it to the world. That’s what we do on this corner.”
“You’re trying to mock my profession.”
“Nineteen down: snake-haired woman! Six letters! EXTRY!”
“I feel like I should be offended.”
“EXTRY! Garfield is hungry! And also sleepy!”