An interview? I think not, strange one, meaning no particular disrespect. I will talk as long as I wish, and you may choose to listen to what Artemisia says, that is the relationship that we shall enjoy. I have already suffered too many demanding my words to no good use. I suppose I have endured that rather less than many others of my sex, it must be said. Shall I speak of justice, then, since I suppose that is our purpose here today? On the one hand, I am at the feet of justice. How can one not speak of justice when a woman is recognised the equal of a man as warrior, counsellor, monarch. To be sure, the King of Kings was always above me, but so he towered peerless above all of the kings in his domains, and how many of them were sat at his right hand? Yet, I ended many lives, strange one. I cannot and will not say that all of those sent to the underworld at my command met just ends, or that all men who died in my service did so for higher purpose. Nor can I deny that good people and upright nations suffered so that I might taste glory and place my star at its highest point. My ascent had costs, and I gladly used the bodies of others to pay my arrears. Such it is to be a king. Such it is be to be the King of Kings.
To stretch out the hand and grasp so many nations, cities, people together without letting go skirts close to hybris. An Empire may be created in the service of justice, a vision of peace among all nations, but sooner or later it will be expanded by avarice and maintained by fear, such is the nature of dominion that will not suffer competition or abridgement of authority. And let us not be gentle or fleeting in our examination of the high kingdom. For all that strong men have their backs broken to the will of the King, how many more women are ground to dust utterly by the King, his servants, and their servants, and their servants. The states of the world are not kind to those who cannot seek uncontested power, or those who cannot borrow that of another to make their way in the world. I am not kind either.
I am proud of my warlike bearing, of my kingly nature, of my upright stance, of my indomitable will, of my skill at war. Yet, strange one, I am angry. I am furious that a woman with talent and skill must, it seems, be so overwhelmingly talented, so fiery as to be a flume for Hephaistos, so willing to be cruel, to ever gain recognition for her masteries and to gain a name among the folk at large. I envy Sappho some, word-famous, remembered for her song and wit and craft. And yet Sappho had to be the greatest of poets to be spoken of with reverence and with any comparison to her peers. I drank blood, my heart beat to the drums which beat the pattern of the oars, I gladly sought battle where it came into my path. This is simply who I am. But maybe I wish that I could have been a Sappho, that I could have chosen that path. Or that I could have been a wise and contemplative king, jolly in one moment and yet judicious in the next, creating laws for a nation that would stand for a thousand years, calm and yet utterly certain in all of my choices.
Am I ungrateful for still feeling chained to a mast, despite all that I have been given and all that I have been able to achieve? No, I am not. Perhaps I have been offered too much choice, leaving me unable to tolerate the bitter sting of limitations, but I have known few women who have felt differently. Xerxes would have understood the prison too, of being unable to escape the role you were born to if you wanted to survive of thrive, but even he had I think more choice if he had set his mind to it. He had many brothers who could have inherited the throne, become King of Kings, without becoming dispossessed and powerless himself. But had I not been who I am I would have most certainly lacked almost all powers I did come to possess, a name of some dignified respect among the subjects of my kingdom and a notary among the circles of the Empire, of sufficient pedigree to deign a conversation, perhaps even a favour or two. Perhaps I might have prevailed upon the satrap in Sardis, or Xerxes, to provide me with a splendid mansion with all that my family spent on fighting their wars.
Proud of my powers and yet hateful of needing them to get where I am. I really am voracious, aren't I. But that is what Justice became to me, rewards for my talents and my efforts for getting them. I don't know if Empire, or civil society, can exist in a state of true justice. If such a thing were to exist, could I even dwell in such a place, being who I am, doing what I have done? I suppose that depends on whether I must necessarily have become, and remain, Artemisia, Queen of Halikarnassos, or whether that is but one form I am able to exist in. I am so well fitted to my powers and abilities that I had rarely allowed myself the luxury of imagining being anything different, and yet I said that I wish I could have been different, didn't I. Perhaps, then, having tasted power, what I now truly desire is choice. I don't know what I must do to earn that privilege, having been denied it for my entire life. But I would like to try. If that is something that I can be granted, then I wish to seek it.
The interview is over.