alternatehistory.com
Danforth and Dukakis
April 29th, 1987
As the camera cut from the news desk to a graphic saying “Presidential Campaign Announcement”, thousands of viewers around the nation collectively raised their eyebrows in confusion. Who is this, they all thought together, and why is he running for president?
“I appreciate my family, friends, citizens, and all the media for coming down today.
I’d like to start off by saying my intention is not to attack President Reagan. In fact, I look up to President Reagan as a leader and as a man. The man I mean to host a referendum on is in fact the man who acts as if he is ready to inherit the White House rather than earn it - George Bush.
The differences between President Reagan and Bush are staggering. Bush may claim to be one of us, an everyman, but don’t forget where he came from - the upper-class elite he was born to and clung to at Yale. George Bush does not represent the common moral values of this country, just as he has forgotten what it’s like to be a carpenter, or a plumber, or to be part of any middle class family.
I am from the great state of Indiana, where people understand what the real world is like. I didn’t attend a hoity toity college - I am a proud graduate of DePauw University right here in my home state. Though I’ve had to spend much time in the elitist filth of Washington D.C., I have never stopped serving the constituents of this great state.
Therefore, as the last barrier standing for the American values that this country was founded on, I, Dan Quayle, declare my candidacy for President of the United States., in hopes that I can restore the ethics that represents the people of this great nation.
All of you watching in your living rooms right now across this beautiful country, you may not know my name today, but I hope by the end of this campaign you all can call me President Quayle.”
“Goddamnit!” The Vice President shouted loud enough from D.C. that Quayle could hear him clearly. “This little rat-faced Indiana hick thinks he can just take the nomination from me!”
“Calm down, George.” President Reagan, the Gipper himself, said calmly, “the kid has spunk. He reminds me a bit of my younger self.”
“I’m going to smoke this fraud,” Bush stated, anger in his eyes, “if it kills the both of us.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
April 30th, 1987
Dukakis Won’t Run in 1988, Endorses Hart (appearing in the New York Times)
Massachusetts Governor Michael Dukakis, known for his liberal policies and introduction of ‘technocrat’ ideas that forwarded unprecedented economic growth in his home state, made his intentions for the 1988 cycle clear in a radio interview broadcast throughout Massachusetts.
When asked about his potential candidacy, Dukakis said, “I can officially announce that I will not be running for President in 1988. I believe there is still work to be done here in Massachusetts, and so I plan to fulfill campaign promises to my constituents rather than my own ambitions. I love waking up every morning in Massachusetts and working every day to help the people of this beautiful state, and I do not plan to leave it any time soon.”
When asked if he planned to make an endorsement right away or if he’d rather wait until the primaries started, Dukakis surprised many with his frankness, saying “I believe that the best candidate available in 1988 is already in the running, and so I proudly announce that I plan to endorse former Senator Gary Hart of Colorado for President. I believe he has the best mix of experience and youth that is needed to push our country into the next decade. I look forward to campaigning for Mr. Hart in this state when the time comes.”
A press release from the Hart campaign about the endorsement states that “Senator Hart is proud and honored to have the endorsement of Governor Dukakis. His modern liberalism is a tactic that has worked impressively in Massachusetts and Senator Hart hopes to incorporate Governor Dukakis’ ideas into his campaign and eventually his Presidency.”
Dukakis’s name has been in talks regarding the nomination in some political circles since the incredible uptick in the Massachusetts’ economy, but it seems that he has taken the strategy of aligning with the frontrunner early on in the campaign.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
April 30th, 1987
The car ride through Virginia had been all cursing and swearing for Pat Robertson. He had watched Quayle’s announcement and had seen Christian conservatives, the ones he had been planning on swooning, fall for that puppet from Indiana.
The moment the announcement ended and the shock had finally left his body, allowing him to move again, he had almost ran for the phone. He immediately called Falwell, that bastard. He knew from the very wording of Quayle’s speech that he had to be behind it.
Ring, Ring, Ring. Nothing.
It went like that for ten calls. By the tenth Robertson was screaming curse words he had forgotten that he had known. Fine, he thought, I’ll just go down there and talk to him. He won’t be able to avoid me if I’m on the bastard’s front lawn. His wife begged him not to be short sighted, but she knew that her husband was a stubborn man. Her only demand in the end was that he leave the gun at home.
The drive wasn’t that long to Falwell’s manor and it was made shorter by the visions in Robertson’s head of strangling that self-righteous--.... And this is where he would cut himself off, thinking that it wasn’t the holy thing to do. This mental cycle continued all the way to the driveway that planted Robertson mere yards from Falwell.
Upon pulling up, Robertson saw that he was on the porch - none other than Quayle himself. Good, Robertson thought, I can curse them both out in person.
As he stepped out of his car, Falwell stood up and shouted in a friendly tone,
“Pat! Why, it’s good to see you on such a glorious day!” Even in his anger, Robertson found it interesting Quayle didn’t stand or even greet him.
“Don’t you ‘glorious day’ me, you fucker.” Robertson said mockingly, “What the hell was that yesterday? You’re pushing this hick?” Falwell looked genuinely offended.
“Why, Pat, what ever do you mean? Why don’t you calm down and take a seat so we can discuss the future?” All this while, Quayle continued to sit, not saying a word.
“Future? You screw me out of a chance to become the President of the United States and you think we have a future?”
The look on Falwell’s face changed dramatically in a matter of moments - his look of careless joy flipped to steaming anger in mere seconds.
“Pat, where I come those are fighting words, and I’ll have you know---” As he said this, Quayle put a hand on Falwell’s arm and stood. He nodded at Falwell and Falwell nodded back.
“I’m sorry, Pat,” Falwell started again, “I didn’t mean to offend you. All I ask is you hear me out before you attack my plan.” Robertson looked from Falwell to Quayle, who was nodding, back to Falwell.
“Fine, I’ll listen.” He spat out.
“This campaign,” Falwell said, transforming before the other two into the charismatic preacher America knew, “is just the beginning of a glorious rebirth of morals and values throughout these United States. The Republican Party hasn’t represented us for a long time, Pat. Do you really think that if we trusted them we would have formed all of the committees? The Moral Majority, Christian Voice, excetera, excetera? No, and it’s time for a change.” This kind of talk was interesting Robertson and he could feel himself cooling off.
“A third party?” He exclaimed excitedly, “Is that what you’re suggesting?”
“No, nothing to that extent. To remain credible, we need to infiltrate the party and change it from the inside. We need to run our candidates in places we know we can win. Dan here is a great first step on the national level - maybe he wins the nomination, maybe he doesn’t. But it doesn’t end here. Trust me Pat, it doesn’t end here.”
Robertson stood in contemplation for nearly a full minute. Falwell, sensing the change, finally spoke.
“So,” he started, “what do you say?”
“I say…” Robertson began, “I say… I say tell me more.” Falwell broke into a smile and Quayle had a big, country boy grin on his face. I can see why he picked the guy, Robertson thought.
“Well,” Quayle said, finally speaking, “may I say, welcome to the team.”
As the camera cut from the news desk to a graphic saying “Presidential Campaign Announcement”, thousands of viewers around the nation collectively raised their eyebrows in confusion. Who is this, they all thought together, and why is he running for president?
“I appreciate my family, friends, citizens, and all the media for coming down today.
I’d like to start off by saying my intention is not to attack President Reagan. In fact, I look up to President Reagan as a leader and as a man. The man I mean to host a referendum on is in fact the man who acts as if he is ready to inherit the White House rather than earn it - George Bush.
The differences between President Reagan and Bush are staggering. Bush may claim to be one of us, an everyman, but don’t forget where he came from - the upper-class elite he was born to and clung to at Yale. George Bush does not represent the common moral values of this country, just as he has forgotten what it’s like to be a carpenter, or a plumber, or to be part of any middle class family.
I am from the great state of Indiana, where people understand what the real world is like. I didn’t attend a hoity toity college - I am a proud graduate of DePauw University right here in my home state. Though I’ve had to spend much time in the elitist filth of Washington D.C., I have never stopped serving the constituents of this great state.
Therefore, as the last barrier standing for the American values that this country was founded on, I, Dan Quayle, declare my candidacy for President of the United States., in hopes that I can restore the ethics that represents the people of this great nation.
All of you watching in your living rooms right now across this beautiful country, you may not know my name today, but I hope by the end of this campaign you all can call me President Quayle.”
“Goddamnit!” The Vice President shouted loud enough from D.C. that Quayle could hear him clearly. “This little rat-faced Indiana hick thinks he can just take the nomination from me!”
“Calm down, George.” President Reagan, the Gipper himself, said calmly, “the kid has spunk. He reminds me a bit of my younger self.”
“I’m going to smoke this fraud,” Bush stated, anger in his eyes, “if it kills the both of us.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
April 30th, 1987
Dukakis Won’t Run in 1988, Endorses Hart (appearing in the New York Times)
Massachusetts Governor Michael Dukakis, known for his liberal policies and introduction of ‘technocrat’ ideas that forwarded unprecedented economic growth in his home state, made his intentions for the 1988 cycle clear in a radio interview broadcast throughout Massachusetts.
When asked about his potential candidacy, Dukakis said, “I can officially announce that I will not be running for President in 1988. I believe there is still work to be done here in Massachusetts, and so I plan to fulfill campaign promises to my constituents rather than my own ambitions. I love waking up every morning in Massachusetts and working every day to help the people of this beautiful state, and I do not plan to leave it any time soon.”
When asked if he planned to make an endorsement right away or if he’d rather wait until the primaries started, Dukakis surprised many with his frankness, saying “I believe that the best candidate available in 1988 is already in the running, and so I proudly announce that I plan to endorse former Senator Gary Hart of Colorado for President. I believe he has the best mix of experience and youth that is needed to push our country into the next decade. I look forward to campaigning for Mr. Hart in this state when the time comes.”
A press release from the Hart campaign about the endorsement states that “Senator Hart is proud and honored to have the endorsement of Governor Dukakis. His modern liberalism is a tactic that has worked impressively in Massachusetts and Senator Hart hopes to incorporate Governor Dukakis’ ideas into his campaign and eventually his Presidency.”
Dukakis’s name has been in talks regarding the nomination in some political circles since the incredible uptick in the Massachusetts’ economy, but it seems that he has taken the strategy of aligning with the frontrunner early on in the campaign.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
April 30th, 1987
The car ride through Virginia had been all cursing and swearing for Pat Robertson. He had watched Quayle’s announcement and had seen Christian conservatives, the ones he had been planning on swooning, fall for that puppet from Indiana.
The moment the announcement ended and the shock had finally left his body, allowing him to move again, he had almost ran for the phone. He immediately called Falwell, that bastard. He knew from the very wording of Quayle’s speech that he had to be behind it.
Ring, Ring, Ring. Nothing.
It went like that for ten calls. By the tenth Robertson was screaming curse words he had forgotten that he had known. Fine, he thought, I’ll just go down there and talk to him. He won’t be able to avoid me if I’m on the bastard’s front lawn. His wife begged him not to be short sighted, but she knew that her husband was a stubborn man. Her only demand in the end was that he leave the gun at home.
The drive wasn’t that long to Falwell’s manor and it was made shorter by the visions in Robertson’s head of strangling that self-righteous--.... And this is where he would cut himself off, thinking that it wasn’t the holy thing to do. This mental cycle continued all the way to the driveway that planted Robertson mere yards from Falwell.
Upon pulling up, Robertson saw that he was on the porch - none other than Quayle himself. Good, Robertson thought, I can curse them both out in person.
As he stepped out of his car, Falwell stood up and shouted in a friendly tone,
“Pat! Why, it’s good to see you on such a glorious day!” Even in his anger, Robertson found it interesting Quayle didn’t stand or even greet him.
“Don’t you ‘glorious day’ me, you fucker.” Robertson said mockingly, “What the hell was that yesterday? You’re pushing this hick?” Falwell looked genuinely offended.
“Why, Pat, what ever do you mean? Why don’t you calm down and take a seat so we can discuss the future?” All this while, Quayle continued to sit, not saying a word.
“Future? You screw me out of a chance to become the President of the United States and you think we have a future?”
The look on Falwell’s face changed dramatically in a matter of moments - his look of careless joy flipped to steaming anger in mere seconds.
“Pat, where I come those are fighting words, and I’ll have you know---” As he said this, Quayle put a hand on Falwell’s arm and stood. He nodded at Falwell and Falwell nodded back.
“I’m sorry, Pat,” Falwell started again, “I didn’t mean to offend you. All I ask is you hear me out before you attack my plan.” Robertson looked from Falwell to Quayle, who was nodding, back to Falwell.
“Fine, I’ll listen.” He spat out.
“This campaign,” Falwell said, transforming before the other two into the charismatic preacher America knew, “is just the beginning of a glorious rebirth of morals and values throughout these United States. The Republican Party hasn’t represented us for a long time, Pat. Do you really think that if we trusted them we would have formed all of the committees? The Moral Majority, Christian Voice, excetera, excetera? No, and it’s time for a change.” This kind of talk was interesting Robertson and he could feel himself cooling off.
“A third party?” He exclaimed excitedly, “Is that what you’re suggesting?”
“No, nothing to that extent. To remain credible, we need to infiltrate the party and change it from the inside. We need to run our candidates in places we know we can win. Dan here is a great first step on the national level - maybe he wins the nomination, maybe he doesn’t. But it doesn’t end here. Trust me Pat, it doesn’t end here.”
Robertson stood in contemplation for nearly a full minute. Falwell, sensing the change, finally spoke.
“So,” he started, “what do you say?”
“I say…” Robertson began, “I say… I say tell me more.” Falwell broke into a smile and Quayle had a big, country boy grin on his face. I can see why he picked the guy, Robertson thought.
“Well,” Quayle said, finally speaking, “may I say, welcome to the team.”
- Meyer London
- Word Count: 1.5k