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Interlude 1.4: Trolling
(With apologies to Yugoslavia: And Nothing of Value Was Lost and various pages on Unencyclopedia)
Ferdin_da_man is now dead.
Mini-Max is now KING OF HUNGARY and KING OF CROATIA and ARCHDUKE OF AUSTRIA
The_Pope: The Vatican gives our most sincere condolences to the Hapsburgs on the loss of a most noble man.
FRANCIS: HAH HAH YOUR BROTHER IS DEAD AND I HAVE MILAN
FRANCIS: BET YOU WISH YOU HAD SOME INFIDEL ALLIES NOW
FRANCIS: TOO SCARED TO REPLY CHARLIE BOY
FRANCIS: COWARD
NavarreDon'tCare: He has you blocked Francis.
FRANCIS: JUST LIKE I BLOCKED HIM FROM ITALY
Charles of Most of Europe is now: Thinking
JFElector: I don't like this.
Phil the Hessian: I don't like it either
realPhilip: I like this.
Charles of Most of Europe: So Bohemia, Mini-Max is very young perhaps you'd like a more stable hand at the tiller.
Estates_of_Bohemia: Say what.
Charles of Most of Europe: Maybe you'd like someone a bit older as King. Like me. Or maybe Philip.
Phil the Hessian: You rang?
Charles of Most of Europe: No not you.
realPhilip: <3 <3 best dad ever
Estates_of_Bohemia: Ferdinand just spent years cajoling us to move to simple succession and now you want us to mess with that?
JFElector: This is clearly a trap to get Philip as Emperor.
Phil the Hessian: :-(
JFElector: Not you.
Mini-Max is now a ward of Charles of Most of Europe
JFElector: The man is old enough to rule alone. Clearly more insidious Hapsburg plots to secure power.
FredrickCountPalatine: Please stop this Charles.
Charles of Most of Europe is now REGENT OF HUNGARY and REGENT OF CROATIA
Charles of Most of Europe: So, about the throne of Bohemia…
Estates_of_Bohemia has issued THE DECLARATION OF PRAGUE
Mini-Max is now KING OF BOHEMIA
ImperialOfficial237: Wait what?
Estates_of_Bohemia: Nice view today.
ImperialOffical237 is now offline
rogueBohemianEstates: Long live the Pope. Long live King Charles.
JFElector: Bravo Bohemia! Long live Protestantism!
Charles of Most of Europe: Mini-Max is Catholic. Like, that's not just me. He's Catholic. No matter what you say.
JFElector: Speaking of "what I say", I say it's time we had an election for King of the Romans.
Charles of Most of Europe: Bohemia is currently in open rebellion no time.
JFElector: Maximilian is the rightful King of Bohemia. Anything less would be a declaration of war on the rights of the constituent parts of the Holy Roman Empire.
Charles of Most of Europe: They threw people out of windows. This is highly irregular.
The Schmalkaldic League has mobilized.
HAPPY 1546!
Swabia is now occupied by JFElector
VoteSaxon has mobilized
JFElector: Good to see you cuz.
VoteSaxon is now invading Saxony
JFElector: Oh come on!
Swabia is no longer occupied
JFElector is now invading Saxony
Estates_of_Bohemia is now invading Saxony
VoteSaxon: No fair!
JFElector has now invaded Other Saxony
Estates_of_Bohemia has now invaded Other Saxony.
Charles of Most of Europe is now invading Swabia
FredrickCountPalatine: A little help please.
Phil the Hessian is now invading Swabia.
FredrickCountPalatine: Thanks.
Phil the Hessian: FOR LUTHER AND FOR BIGAMY!
Charles of Most of Europe: eww
JFElector: eww
FredrickCountPalatine: eww
Henry VIII: Intriguing idea…
Phil the Hessian has started BATTLE OF HEIDELBERG
Charles of Most of Europe has joined BATTLE OF HEIDELBERG
FredrickCountPalatine has joined BATTLE OF HEIDELBERG
Charles of Most of Europe has won BATTLE OF HEIDELBERG
Charles of Most of Europe has started BATTLE OF KARLSRUHE
Phil the Hessian has joined BATTLE OF KARLSRUHE
FredrickCountPalatine: I'm running low on…well…everything…a little help?
FredrickCountPalatine: Anyone?
FredrickCountPalatine: Anyone?
FredrickCountPalatine is: sad
FredrickCountPalatine has joined BATTLE OF KARLSRUHE
Charles of Most of Europe has won BATTLE OF KARLSRUHE
Charles of Most of Europe is now invading Bohemia
rogueBohemianEstates is: in love
Estates_of_Bohemia: Bring it.
JFElector is now invading Bohemia
Estates_of_Bohemia: WHAT
Charles of Most of Europe: WHAT
JFElector: oops, wrong button
JFElector is now assisting Estates_of_Bohemia
Estates_of_Bohemia: Thank you.
BohemianPeasent1367: This looks the same
Estates_of_Bohemia: Shut up.
WINTER HAS COME -1 bazillion attack effectiveness.
BohemianPeasent1367 is now dead
HAPPY 1547
FredrickCountPalatine: I'm sorry guys, but I can't go on.
FredrickCountPalatine has submitted to Charles of Most of Europe
Charles of Most of Europe: That's right! Bow to the Emperor! Lutherans can get out!
Phil the Hessian: I will fight on, for my religion and my wives!
Charles of Most of Europe: eww
FredrickCountPalatine: eww
JFElector: eww
Henry VIII: intriguing
Henry VIII is now dead
EdofWales is now EdVIard
EdVIard is now KING OF ENGLAND and KING OF IRELAND
EdVIard: And KING OF FRANCE
FRANCIS: Fuck you.
EdVIard: What does "fuck" mean?
FRANCIS: What.
EdSeymour is now REGENT OF ENGLAND and REGENT OF IRELAND
EdSeymour has activated PARENTAL BLOCKS for EdVIard.
EdSeymour: Pardon his majesty's youth.
Charles of Most of Europe: Actually Edward is a bastard, the rightful queen of England is Mary Tudor. Henry VIII's divorce of my aunt was illegal.
EdSeymour: False.
The_Pope: England remains excommunicated. Unless of course you want to negotiate. New king and all.
England is no longer CATHOLIC BUT FUCK THE POPE
The_Pope: Good start…
England is now PROTESTANT BUT NOT LUTHERAN OR CALVINIST
The_Pope: Wrong choice.
Charles of Most of Europe: back to normal I guess.
WINTER HAS ENDED
NotHorseFacedWeSwear has mobilized
Charles of Most of Europe: Oh for the love of... Philip go organize some defenses in the Netherlands.
Charles of Most of Europe: My son, not the Bigamist.
realPhilip: OK dad.
Phil the Hessian: :-(
NotHorseFacedWeSwear has invaded the Netherlands
realPhilip has invaded Jülich-Cleves-Berg
The Low Countries are now in a COSTLY STALEMATE
realPhilip: :-(
Charles of Most of Europe: Don't worry, the mines of Mexico can out spend them!
FRANCIS is now subsidizing NotHorseFacedWeSwear
realPhilip: Dad what do I do now?
Charles of Most of Europe: I just told you, just throw silver at the issue and it goes away.
NavarreDon'tCare: Francis is funding them.
Charles of Most of Europe: Tell him to go fuck himself.
NavarreDon'tCare: he knows that.
Charles of Most of Europe: Philip, just keep fighting.
Phil the Hessian is retreating
Charles of Most of Europe begins CROSSING OF THE NECKAR
Phil the Hessian joins CROSSING OF THE NECKAR
Phil the Hessian has ended CROSSING OF THE NECKAR
Charles of Most of Europe: Whelp. Time to claim another throne
Charles of Most of Europe has resumed campaigning in Bohemia.
rogueBohemianEstates is now rebelling
rogueBohemianEstates has seized České Budějovice
Charles of Most of Europe: Excellent!
Estates_of_Bohemia: Treasonous dogs…
Estates_of_Bohemia: Time to go in the offensive. You ready John Fredrick?
JFElector: I'm ready!
Estates_of_Bohemia has started BATTLE OF PÍSEK
Charles of Most of Europe has joined BATTLE OF PÍSEK
rougeBohemianEstates has joined BATTLE OF PÍSEK
Estates_of_Bohemia: Uhh John Fredrick?
JFElector: Uh oh, bad weather.
Charles of Most of Europe has won BATTLE OF PÍSEK
rogueBohemianEstates has won BATTLE OF PÍSEK
Estates_of_Bohemia is: scared
JFElector is: sorry, so very, very sorry
Charles of Most of Europe: Yesssss. Yessssss. Yesss. Saxony here I come.
Charles of Most of Europe has started MARCH ON PRAUGE
ERROR: NO FUNDS
Charles of Most of Europe has started MARCH ON PRAUGE
ERROR: NO FUNDS
Charles of Most of Europe: hmmm
Charles of Most of Europe has invaded Other Saxony
VoteSaxon: Yay! Long live the Emperor
ERROR: NO FUNDS
VoteSaxon: aww
JFElector has started SECOND BATTLE OF PÍSEK
Estates_of_Bohemia has joined SECOND BATTLE OF PÍSEK
Charles of Most of Europe has joined SECOND BATTLE OF PÍSEK
rogueBohemianEstates has joined SECOND BATTLE OF PÍSEK
JFElector has won SECOND BATTLE OF PÍSEK
Estates_of_Bohemia has won SECOND BATTLE OF PÍSEK
Charles of Most of Europe is retreating from Bohemia.
Charles of Most of Europe is: open to negotiation
JFElector is: open to negotiation
Estates_of_Bohemia is: open to negotiation
rogueBohemianEstates is: not open to negotiation
Estates_of_Bohemia: No one cares what you think.
TREATY OF AUGSBURG
-Mini-Max is KING OF BOHEMIA
-Charles of Most of Europe is no longer REGENT OF CROATIA, HUNGARY, OR AUSTRIA
-Lutheran Rulers are allowed to run Lutheran Domains
-FredrickCountPalatine is restored as ELECTOR PALATINE in full
-Bohemian Succession is solely under the control of Estates_of_Bohemia
-The Schmalkaldic League is recognized as a group inside the Holy Roman Empire but is prohibited from forming foreign alliances
-The Kingdom of Bohemia will not join the Schmalkaldic League
-Peace
Charles of Most of Europe: Yay. Peace. Because I ran out of money.
realPhilip: My empire :-(
Mini-Max: Thanks coz. Really feeling the love.
JFElector: Don't worry Maximilian, the Schmalkaldic League will keep Philip from usurping you.
JFElector: Either one. Last thing we need is a bigamist King.
Phil the Hessian: :-(
JFElector: Speaking of Kings, are you going to hold up the…unofficial deal Charles?
Charles of Most of Europe: *sigh* Yes.
Charles of Most of Europe: I implore the Electors of the empire to vote for Mini-Max to succeed his father.
An election for KING OF THE ROMANS is here!
KING OF BOHEMIA Mini-Max has voted for Mini-Max
ELECTOR OF SAXONY JFElector has voted for Mini-Max
ELECTOR PALATINE FredrickCountPalatine has voted for Mini-Max
ELECTOR OF COLOGNE Her-mann has voted for Mini-Max
JFElector: And that's a majority!
The_Pope: Archbishop Hermann is excommunicated for not really being Catholic anymore. Charles, the fact that the majority of your Electors are Protestant is…deeply disturbing.
ELECTOR OF BRANDENBURG JoachimTwo has voted for Mini-Max
JoachimTwo: For the Record, I would have voted for Philip if Charles had asked. #NotAllLutherans
ELECTOR OF TRIER ArchbishopTrier has voted for Mini-Max
ELECTOR OF MAINZ Archbishop Sebastian has voted for Mini-Max.
Mini-Max is now KING OF THE ROMANS
Mini-Max: Thank you all! Even the ones who tried to violently stop this from happening
Her-Mann: I like this kid.
Mini-Max: How are you even still a Bishop?
Her-Mann: I like this kid slightly less now.
Charles of Most of Europe: Ease up kid. You're not Emperor yet.
Mini-Max: >:-(
Charles of Most of Europe: Teenagers…
realPhilip: Sooooooo…who gets the Netherlands?
Charles of Most of Europe: ugh
FRANCIS: HAH HAH STUPID CHARLIE BOY
FRANCIS: GUESS WHO'S GONNA MAKE A PERSONAL UNION WITH SCOTLAND
FRANCIS: THIS GUY
NavarreDon'tCare: Actually it's his son. The Dauphin and Mary of Scotland are now betrothed.
FRANCIS: AULD ALLIANCE BEST ALLIANCE
NavarreDon'tCare: And Francis is dead BTW. Henry is now King, he just can't be bothered to change the account settings.