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Yes - The Cabana of Presidents: Florida Gets its Day in the Sun
The Cabana of Presidents: Florida Gets its Day in the Sun
Inspired both by family connections to the place and a recent thread where someone noted Florida's the largest state per population not to have produced a president yet.
John F. Kennedy (D-MA)*/George Smathers (D-FL) 1961-63
1960 Def. Richard M. Nixon (R-CA)/Henry Cabot Lodge Jr. (R-MA)
Sometimes Chaos Theory has placed your little personal mote of possibility in a mighty stream with a tendency to run in one direction, and that can suck. Suck, and have consequences. For example , when you have also chosen a significantly different Vice President than you might have, the bromance may be strong but the policy implications run even deeper.
George Smathers (D-FL)/Philip A. Hart (D-MI) 1963-69
1964 def. Barry M. Goldwater (R-AZ)/John Bricker (R-OH)
Being pushed by blood, and events (dear boy, events), and mighty legislative and public pressure into a Voting Rights Act is not a great way to stay buds with your old fellow segregationists. Likewise getting eyeball deep in Southeast Asia tends not to endear you to liberals. And even when you are just that handsome, this leaves you very few places to go…
George Romney* (R-MI)/Paul Fannin (R-AZ) 1969-72
1968 def. George Smathers (D-FL)/Philip A. Hart (D-MI)
Sometimes the quality of your life is defined by the nature of your enemies. When Birchers and the National Review come after you for disengaging from Vietnam you’re off to a decent start. When Southern grandees in the Senate fulminate about your raft of civil rights legislation you’ve gone from strength to strength. And when you take a bullet from a Klansman because of your sweeping national initiative to get Americans to live in the same neighborhoods regardless of skin color you’ll be buried on the side of the angels but that does leave things in the hands of your right-wing Vice President.
Paul Fannin (R-AZ)/Mark O. Hatfield (R-OR) 1972-77**
1972 def. Robert F. Kennedy (D-NY)/Hubert H. Humphrey (D-MN) George C. Wallace (AIP-AL)/Lester Maddox (AIP-GA)
Getting elected on a dead man’s coattails is one thing; it’s been done. Having to borrow the electoral votes to do it from a deal with a venomous little white-nationalist hobgoblin is another, especially when you have to talk your liberal integrationist running mate into not resigning over the deal. A stock market slump, dicing with the chance of nuclear war in the Middle East, and the mother of all oil price shocks tend not to help. Especially not in a West Wing caught up in battles between your reformist VP and your own New Right inclinations.
Reubin O’D. Askew (D-FL)/Birch Bayh (D-IN) 1977-85
1976 def. Paul Fannin (R-AZ)/Mark O. Hatfield (R-OR)
1980 def. Ronald W. Reagan (R-CA)/Howard H. Baker Jr. (R-TN)
When the designated Kennedy is having a permanent sulk, and the Hump (and a rival Southern governor’s dear mother) has late-stage cancer, there’s room for a sincere, effective reformer with a sonorous drawl, who cleaned up one of the most corrupt states in the country, and who can run on his record as “the anti-Smathers.” And when you’re not indecisive overseas and care visibly about Americans’ jobs and paychecks not just the content of their souls, you can even eke out reelection against the New Right’s greatest salesman since Professor Harold Hill…
Paul D. Laxalt (R-NV)/Jack F. Kemp (R-NY) 1985-93
1984 def. Birch Bayh (D-IN)/James Earl “Jimmy” Carter (D-GA)
1988 def. William J. “Bill” Clinton (D-AR)/John H. Glenn Jr. (D-OH)
You get very little credit for putting the economy to rights when it has mostly sucked during your boss' second term. Likewise promises to be Real Men™ with the Soviets and of ponies trickling down from the economic heights sound good to a public that wants its ponies now, dammit. Also running for reelection against a charismatic young opponent who has … significant zipper issues in front of a ravenous press corps is good for job security.
Mario Cuomo+ (D-NY)/Robert “Bob” Graham (D-FL) 1993-97
Robert “Bob” Graham (D-FL)/Gary Hart (D-CO) 1997-2001
1992 def. Jack F. Kemp (R-NY)/Trent Lott (R-MS)
1996 def. J. Danforth “Dan” Quayle (R-IN)/Fife Symington (R-AZ)
It’s rather nice to know there’s still some room for old-fashioned liberals in the modern Democratic Party, especially when a weak economy helps them into office. When they end up resigning months into their second term over improprieties in the handling of their son’s convictions for insider trading and cocaine possession, and over possible shady real estate deals back in their home state, it’s good to have a safe pair of hands into which you can pass the affairs of state, even if those safe hands are stodgy and constantly fiddling with that damned appointment book of his…
John E. “Jeb” Bush (R-FL)/Dirk Kempthorne (R-ID) 2001-09
2000 def. Robert “Bob” Graham (D-FL)/Gary Hart (D-CO) Ron Dellums/ (G-CA)Ralph Nader (G-NY)
2004 def. Sherrod Brown (D-OH)/Kathleen Sebelius (D-KS)
Getting shanked from the left in the race for electoral votes sucks, even when the left has a point about dodgy trade deals. And electing a pair of smiling, handsome CEO-types is a good way to get suburbanites to indulge their worst instincts while still feeling good about themselves. Pro tip: if you want to run a principled campaign to unseat said CEO-types, 1) get someone with charisma not just heart and brains, and 2) try not to have to swim against a bubble boom the other side claims credit for.
Cecile Richards (D-TX)/Harvey Gantt (D-NC) 2009-17
2008 def. Dirk Kempthorne (R-ID)/Christine Todd Whitman (R-NJ)
2012 def. Steven “Steve” Largent (R-OK)/Jan Brewer (R-AZ)
Want to know how to elect a woman and a black man at the same time in American politics? Make the entire banking system go BOOOOOOM and, under a veil of pretty language, only bail out the top shareholders. Also helps if the black guy is one of the most graceful and resilient men in American politics, and the woman inherited her mother’s killer instinct and has brass ones the size of small moons. Trying some actual wealth redistribution and job creation, and running for reelection against a ticket of legit cray-cray, can contribute too.
Willard “Mitt” Romney (R-MA)/Mario Diaz-Balart (R-FL) 2017-
2016 def. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (D-NY)/John F. Kerry (D-MA)
Being the tall, chiseled son of a martyred president is useful, especially if before you went into politics you were a leveraged-buyout vulture who picked the bones of hapless companies. Latino outreach is a smooth move as well in 21st century America, even if the reach is a little to the right of Genghis Khan, as is giving the opposition’s primary voters enough purity rope to hoist themselves by it.
*=assassinated
**=hung Electoral College settled by bargaining prior to the Electors' vote
+=resigned
Inspired both by family connections to the place and a recent thread where someone noted Florida's the largest state per population not to have produced a president yet.
John F. Kennedy (D-MA)*/George Smathers (D-FL) 1961-63
1960 Def. Richard M. Nixon (R-CA)/Henry Cabot Lodge Jr. (R-MA)
Sometimes Chaos Theory has placed your little personal mote of possibility in a mighty stream with a tendency to run in one direction, and that can suck. Suck, and have consequences. For example , when you have also chosen a significantly different Vice President than you might have, the bromance may be strong but the policy implications run even deeper.
George Smathers (D-FL)/Philip A. Hart (D-MI) 1963-69
1964 def. Barry M. Goldwater (R-AZ)/John Bricker (R-OH)
Being pushed by blood, and events (dear boy, events), and mighty legislative and public pressure into a Voting Rights Act is not a great way to stay buds with your old fellow segregationists. Likewise getting eyeball deep in Southeast Asia tends not to endear you to liberals. And even when you are just that handsome, this leaves you very few places to go…
George Romney* (R-MI)/Paul Fannin (R-AZ) 1969-72
1968 def. George Smathers (D-FL)/Philip A. Hart (D-MI)
Sometimes the quality of your life is defined by the nature of your enemies. When Birchers and the National Review come after you for disengaging from Vietnam you’re off to a decent start. When Southern grandees in the Senate fulminate about your raft of civil rights legislation you’ve gone from strength to strength. And when you take a bullet from a Klansman because of your sweeping national initiative to get Americans to live in the same neighborhoods regardless of skin color you’ll be buried on the side of the angels but that does leave things in the hands of your right-wing Vice President.
Paul Fannin (R-AZ)/Mark O. Hatfield (R-OR) 1972-77**
1972 def. Robert F. Kennedy (D-NY)/Hubert H. Humphrey (D-MN) George C. Wallace (AIP-AL)/Lester Maddox (AIP-GA)
Getting elected on a dead man’s coattails is one thing; it’s been done. Having to borrow the electoral votes to do it from a deal with a venomous little white-nationalist hobgoblin is another, especially when you have to talk your liberal integrationist running mate into not resigning over the deal. A stock market slump, dicing with the chance of nuclear war in the Middle East, and the mother of all oil price shocks tend not to help. Especially not in a West Wing caught up in battles between your reformist VP and your own New Right inclinations.
Reubin O’D. Askew (D-FL)/Birch Bayh (D-IN) 1977-85
1976 def. Paul Fannin (R-AZ)/Mark O. Hatfield (R-OR)
1980 def. Ronald W. Reagan (R-CA)/Howard H. Baker Jr. (R-TN)
When the designated Kennedy is having a permanent sulk, and the Hump (and a rival Southern governor’s dear mother) has late-stage cancer, there’s room for a sincere, effective reformer with a sonorous drawl, who cleaned up one of the most corrupt states in the country, and who can run on his record as “the anti-Smathers.” And when you’re not indecisive overseas and care visibly about Americans’ jobs and paychecks not just the content of their souls, you can even eke out reelection against the New Right’s greatest salesman since Professor Harold Hill…
Paul D. Laxalt (R-NV)/Jack F. Kemp (R-NY) 1985-93
1984 def. Birch Bayh (D-IN)/James Earl “Jimmy” Carter (D-GA)
1988 def. William J. “Bill” Clinton (D-AR)/John H. Glenn Jr. (D-OH)
You get very little credit for putting the economy to rights when it has mostly sucked during your boss' second term. Likewise promises to be Real Men™ with the Soviets and of ponies trickling down from the economic heights sound good to a public that wants its ponies now, dammit. Also running for reelection against a charismatic young opponent who has … significant zipper issues in front of a ravenous press corps is good for job security.
Mario Cuomo+ (D-NY)/Robert “Bob” Graham (D-FL) 1993-97
Robert “Bob” Graham (D-FL)/Gary Hart (D-CO) 1997-2001
1992 def. Jack F. Kemp (R-NY)/Trent Lott (R-MS)
1996 def. J. Danforth “Dan” Quayle (R-IN)/Fife Symington (R-AZ)
It’s rather nice to know there’s still some room for old-fashioned liberals in the modern Democratic Party, especially when a weak economy helps them into office. When they end up resigning months into their second term over improprieties in the handling of their son’s convictions for insider trading and cocaine possession, and over possible shady real estate deals back in their home state, it’s good to have a safe pair of hands into which you can pass the affairs of state, even if those safe hands are stodgy and constantly fiddling with that damned appointment book of his…
John E. “Jeb” Bush (R-FL)/Dirk Kempthorne (R-ID) 2001-09
2000 def. Robert “Bob” Graham (D-FL)/Gary Hart (D-CO) Ron Dellums/ (G-CA)Ralph Nader (G-NY)
2004 def. Sherrod Brown (D-OH)/Kathleen Sebelius (D-KS)
Getting shanked from the left in the race for electoral votes sucks, even when the left has a point about dodgy trade deals. And electing a pair of smiling, handsome CEO-types is a good way to get suburbanites to indulge their worst instincts while still feeling good about themselves. Pro tip: if you want to run a principled campaign to unseat said CEO-types, 1) get someone with charisma not just heart and brains, and 2) try not to have to swim against a bubble boom the other side claims credit for.
Cecile Richards (D-TX)/Harvey Gantt (D-NC) 2009-17
2008 def. Dirk Kempthorne (R-ID)/Christine Todd Whitman (R-NJ)
2012 def. Steven “Steve” Largent (R-OK)/Jan Brewer (R-AZ)
Want to know how to elect a woman and a black man at the same time in American politics? Make the entire banking system go BOOOOOOM and, under a veil of pretty language, only bail out the top shareholders. Also helps if the black guy is one of the most graceful and resilient men in American politics, and the woman inherited her mother’s killer instinct and has brass ones the size of small moons. Trying some actual wealth redistribution and job creation, and running for reelection against a ticket of legit cray-cray, can contribute too.
Willard “Mitt” Romney (R-MA)/Mario Diaz-Balart (R-FL) 2017-
2016 def. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (D-NY)/John F. Kerry (D-MA)
Being the tall, chiseled son of a martyred president is useful, especially if before you went into politics you were a leveraged-buyout vulture who picked the bones of hapless companies. Latino outreach is a smooth move as well in 21st century America, even if the reach is a little to the right of Genghis Khan, as is giving the opposition’s primary voters enough purity rope to hoist themselves by it.
*=assassinated
**=hung Electoral College settled by bargaining prior to the Electors' vote
+=resigned
- Yes
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