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AFTER ZHIRINOVSKY, PART ONE: THE CLOWN BEFORE THE STORM
AFTER ZHIRINOVSKY
PART ONE: THE CLOWN BEFORE THE STORM
***
UIS Presidential Candidate Vladimir Putin in an interview with the BBC on February 2, 2017.
Discussing the early days of the Lebed Presidency.
BBC: Mr. Putin, let’s start by discussing the UIS role in the Second Korean War.
Putin: And what role is that?
BBC: Excuse me?
Putin: What do you think was the UIS role in the Second Korean War?
BBC: I’m not sure I understand the question? Alexander Lebed invaded North Korea. I don’t see how that is even remotely disputed.
Putin: Perhaps there was more to it than meets the eye. Maybe the real purpose of the intervention had nothing to do with North Korea.
BBC (long pause): All right then,. I’ll bite. What was the “real” reason Alexander Lebed almost started a nuclear war?
Putin: Well President Lebed was a very clever man. Perhaps to clever for his own good. He manipulated the world into fearing Vladimir Zhirinovsky while simultaneously manipulating Vladimir Zhirinovsky into pursuing his radical agenda. An agenda that ultimately could be summed up as such: protect the Union at all costs. He thought that Zhirinovsky served his purpose that he would simply become the darling of the West. He thought he would always be seen as the last sane man in the former Soviet Union. The Great Wall of Reason that kept both fascism and communism at bay.
BBC: So what went wrong?
Putin: You need a boogieman like Vladimir Zhirinovsky to be lurking in the shadows if you want the world to see you as the first line of defense…and by 2004 Vladimir Zhirinovsky looked anything like a looming threat. He was an utterly defeated shell of a man. A broken man. A weak man who no longer projected strength or instilled fear. He once was frightening because he was a clown who stumbled into the most powerful office on the planet. By the summer of 2004 he was just a clown…and even worse. He was a drunk clown. But as it turns out, sometimes there is a clown before the storm.
***
Anger mounts as former UIS President Vladimir Zhirinovsky arrested in Sochi strip club
By John Makela, NBC News
January 13, 2004
In an incident that President George Bush called “completely unacceptable” former UIS President Vladimir Zhirinovsky was arrested after he caused a riot and was kicked out of a Colombian strip club in Sochi. It was the second time Zhirinovsky was arrested for violating the terms of his house arrest, prompting protests from Western leaders and human rights activists.
“We are told that Vladimir Zhirinovsky is under house arrest in Sochi pending trial for treason in Moscow,” human rights activist and former Chechen refugee Umar Taimiev said from his office in London. “But it has become increasingly clear that government of the UIS is unwilling to enforce even the most basic provisions of his conditions of release. This is the second time that Chechen refugees like myself who suffered under the genocidal policies of Vladimir Zhirinovsky have been forced to read about his drunken antics in Russia. All the while there is no indication that the Russian government is supervising his house arrest at all.”
In early November Zhirinovsky caused an international incident when he drove his East German1986 Tabant P601 into the living room of a retired schoolteacher named Yulia Popova in Sochi. Popova, who lived several miles from Zhirinovsky’s house, reported to police that Zhirinovsky was intoxicated and that he offered to pay for the damages if she “promised not to tell Lebed.”
Zhirinovsky’s arrest in November caused an international incident, prompting President Lebed to promise that the UIS would “punish those who were derelict in their duties.” However, although Zhirinovsky’s guards were subsequently replaced, last nights incident has raised concerns that the former president’s house arrest remains little more than a sham.
Zhirinovsky was acting as a “celebrity judge” at a Colombian owned strip club called Elba before he caused an incident during one of the dance routines. Zhirinovsky, who was allegedly intoxicated, called on patrons to “grab them by the pussy,” before adding “you can do anything.”
The statement caused several patrons to attempt to physically accost several of the women at Elba, which in turn prompted security to end the competition and physically remove several of the patrons.
“I don’t know who he thinks he is but we run a classy joint here,” manager Epifanio Garza said of the incident with the former president. “There is no place for that sort of behavior in a respectable place like this.”
Garza refused to comment as to why an internationally wanted war criminal was allowed to judge a striptease at his establishment, but did advise that he would be more careful in his selection of celebrity judges for future contests.
***
“A Dream for Tomorrow- By former Russian Prime Minister Gennady Burbulis”
Published by Colorado State University Press, © 2014
CHAPTER ELEVEN
I shifted uncomfortably in my chair as I looked around the table. Most of the faces were new…and young. I was growing increasingly worried about the revolving door of advisors in the Lebed administration. Since taking office at the beginning of the year President Lebed had changed his cabinet twice, and shuffled several of his key advisors including me. I was moved out as Mister of Finance a month after the election when the ruble lost 20% of its value in six weeks. I expected to be sent home, after all, if his goal was to discredit one of his strongest liberal opponents then that was very much accomplished. I knew I had become somewhat unpopular, but he nonetheless asked me to stay on as Minister of Sports. It was a demotion, the UIS Ministry of Sports was literally created that month, and it’s duties were ill defined. But I nonetheless agreed to stay on board. But his initial replacement as Minister of Finance, Mikhail Tyumenev, only lasted three months before he quit…or was fired. The two clashed frequently and by the time he left the cabinet he became one of President Lebed’s harshest critics. He subsequently joined the Yabloko Party, and called on the removal of President Lebed from office. He also was a harsh critic of me, and often called me a turncoat and a traitor to the democratic movement for my partnership with the Liberal Democrats. My own political party, the Democratic Choice of the UIS, had suffered badly and many of its members were abandoning the party en masse. I was concerned, but not entirely surprised. To be honest, I saw a great deal of logic in the move. We had lost the election in 2003 because we, the reformists, had splintered. It was to our benefit to rally around a central figure, and Yabloko head Sergey Mitrokhin was emerging as that central figure. Mitrokhin refused to criticize me harshly, citing my role in the Revolution of 2002 as a major factor in the ousting of Vladimir Zhirinovsky. But he still questioned my decision to work with the Lebed administration and would often “suggest” that I should come back to the fold. It was a tempting offer. Although I respected Lebed’s commitment to free market reforms he was showing signs of authoritarianism. And he seemed to lack the organization for government work, and often seemed preoccupied with military matters. Sometimes he would announce major policy changes and then either forget his proclamation or simply disregard it. It was a troubling trend because it fostered corruption, something I was keenly aware of.
By November of 2003 I knew that there needed to be substantial reform, and soon. The presidency of George Bush was the only thing that kept the UIS economy afloat. Bush’s economic policies had the effect of devaluing the U.S. Dollar, and that was the only thing that was keeping the ruble from going into a freefall. But with each passing day our greatest fear was becoming more likely: a collapse in global oil prices. There wasn’t a Vladimir Zhirinovsky who could cause a spike in oil prices by opening his mouth. We needed to diversify our economy before our greatest fear became a reality.
“Mr, President,” I said firmly as dozens of young aids tried to should over each other. “Mr. President, I think we need to address the banking reforms-“
“And what does banking have to do with sports?” growled Prime Minister Svyatoslav Petrushko, President Lebed’s closest aide.
“With all due respect Mr. Petrushko, but as long as I remain a member of this administration than I plan to speak on matters that I feel are pressing. You seem utterly unconcerned with the election in the United States. Polls in the United States indicate that President Bush is trailing Senator Kerry by 31 points. In fact, it appears that President Bush may not even survive the Republican primary. This coupled with the emergence of a unified European currency have the potential of sinking the economy of this country.”
“What about Athens?” President Lebed asked.
“Excuse me?” I replied.
“Athens. The Olympics. As you know, I am hoping that the UIS makes Olympic history next summer. If we win gold in every weight class in boxing we can show the world that our diversity is our greatest strength. We have fighters from every republic, except Armenia, competing. With all this talk of independence from the Armenians and the Azerbaijanis I think this could very much send a message not only to the world, but to our countrymen. We are stronger together.”
I saw Prime Minister Petrushko smirk as I sunk in my chair. President Lebed was not going to discuss matters of finance with me. I was to make sure that the UIS Olympic exceeded expectations. That was it. I tried to hide my disappointment as I discussed the prospects of the UIS sweeping gold. I felt the sudden urge to resign my post. Maybe I could go back to England and live a quiet life of retirement. Maybe I could go back to the movement and help them be a force for liberal change in the UIS.
“You seem disappointed Minister Burbulis?” President Lebed asked, prompting sarcastic chuckles from several members of the cabinet.
“With all due respect Mr. President but if I’m going to have no role other than to be a cheerleader for the UIS Olympic Team then perhaps you should have me replaced.”
“A wonderful idea!” Petrushko replied sarcastically, prompting another round of laughter. However, I could see that President Lebed wasn’t laughing, and seemed almost sympathetic.
“I would hate to see you go Minister Burbulis.” President Lebed said softly. “I do value your input and have…for some time. You are a man of conviction, and that is something I value tremendously. You had the courage to go against the 16-man Committee for State Security and Defense and call me to let me know what was happening in Grozny. You had the courage to return to the UIS and run against Vladimir Zhirinovsky when those that opposed him ended up dead. And you have the courage to stay with this administration knowing that your allies in the reformist movement are calling it nothing short of a betrayal.”
“Mr. President,” I said firmly, “I appreciate the kind words. But if my only role in this administration is to talk about our sports program then I think you can find someone better suited for the position. I have serious concerns about the direction this country is headed and I don’t think these people share my concern about how dire the situation has become.”
“Well perhaps you would like to go work for your old boss?” Petrushko hissed angrily. “I’m not surte if you appreciate this fact, but we are the only thing that is holding the fascists at bay right now! Remember, had it not been for President Lebed, then the Radical People’s Party and Oleg Malyshkin would be running this country!”
“Comrade Petrushko,” I replied sarcastically, “Vladimir Zhirinovsky was just arrested for starting a riot in a strip club. How much longer do you think you can sell him as a threat to the world? If anything he’s become a national embarrassment. John Engler has threatened to bring back sanctions if he’s elected unless we turn him over to The Hague.”
“So you think we should just cower to the threats of this American politician?” Petrushko shot back.
“No,” I replied. “I think we should send him to The Hague because he’s a war criminal. But I think we should do it now, before he gets arrested again inside of another strip club in Sochi. If we wait then sooner or later he will violate the conditions of his house arrest again. And that makes this government look incompetent. Besides, if we wait until John Engler is the Republican nominee it looks like we are cowering to his threats. If we do it now it looks like we are just doing the right thing.”
“His supporters won’t like that,” a young minister said nervously. “We could have protests.”
“Now is the time to act,” I replied, “He was just arrested in a Colombian strip club. Nobody is going to rally to him now. Let’s strike while the iron’s hot.”
I saw President Lebed rub his chin as he considered what I said. I clearly had made some headway as he considered my position.
“Prime Minister Petrushko, do we have any idea how many members of the Oprichniki have returned to the UIS?”
“No Mr. President, but I think the number is somewhat low,” he replied. “I understand many fled to Bulgaria but were not granted visas. Some have gone to Cyprus and some have gone to Liberia. But they are scattered across the planet. Although…”
“What is it Prime Minister?”
“Well, there are a few nations in the Caribbean that allow individuals to purchase citizenship.”
“What do you mean?” I asked incredulously.
”It appears that you can buy citizenship in these nations for an investment of about $50,000 American dollars,” the Prime Minister said with a chuckle. “It seems that over the last few months several high profile members of the Zhirinovsky administration have obtained citizenship overseas through this method. I thought you’d appreciate that.”
“Why would I appreciate that?” I asked.
“Well, these same men who said you were not a true Russian since you had a British passport…they now hold dual citizenship as well. I assumed you would fine their hypocrisy amusing.”
I failed to recognize the olive branch that the Prime Minister was extending at first, but as I smiled I felt the other ministers begin to laugh as well.
“I wonder why there is this rush for dual citizenship in the last few months,” I asked. “Are they expecting a pogrom?”
“Perhaps,” Lebed said softly. “But I suspect the answer may be something even simpler, but much more problematic.”
“What else could they be planning?” I asked.
“Chaos.” Lebed replied.
***
Barbados Today
Radical Russian Nationalist group dominates elections in Dominica; United States threatens intervention
By Samuel Harrison
Monday, December 15, 2003
ROSEAU, DOMINICA, In a development that has rocked the tiny nation of Dominica, a previously unknown political movement scored a stunning upset in last Thursday’s legislative elections. The ruling Dominica Labour Party was expected to easily retain control of the 21-seat House of Assembly after Prime Minister Roosevelt Skerrit called for elections on November 5th. But in what may go down as the most shocking political upset in Caribbean electoral history, 13 of the 21 seats in the House of Assembly were won by the previously unknown Dominica Liberal Party. Shock spread across the island nation the next day as it soon became clear that almost nothing was known about the new ruling party, other than the fact that all thirteen elected members appeared to attend the same church: the St. Helena Orthodox Church in Marigot. However, shock turned to anger over the weekend as the newly elected MPs emerged from the shadows.
“This man, he run as Lennox David,” Portsmouth resident Andrew Johnston said of his newly elected representative. “But he show up on Saturday and he don’t even speak English. He’s a Russia, but he run as Lennox David!”
It soon became clear that all of the winning candidates had run under assumed names and that most were from the UIS and Yugoslavia.
The Dominica Liberal Party announced in a press release that Bentley Norris of Wesley would most likely be elected Prime Minister. A search of Norris’s voter registration card showed that Norris had moved to Dominica ten months ago and had legally changed his name from Gennady Drobnov to Norris several weeks before announcing his candidacy. Little is known of Drobnov other than he listed Simferopol in the Crimean Peninsula as his prior residence. Prior to 2003 a pro Vladimir Zhirinovsky fascist organization called the Crimean Oprichniki Front was headed by a man named Gennady Drobnov in Simferopol, although it is unknown at this time if it is in fact the same individual.
“This is nothing short of an occupation,” Johnston added. “These people have invaded out country!”
Many citizens of Dominica are equally stunned at the emergence of over 30,000 new voters since the 2000 election. Dominica is one of the few nations in the world where citizenship can be obtained by making a one time contribution of $50,000 into the Government Fund. Although there have been concerns over the lack of transparency in the process, applications are confidential and not subject to review, few people in Dominica criticized the program prior to Thursday’s election. But the tiny nation of 72,000 now finds itself at the center of an international crisis as approximately 30,000 former UIS residence appear to have seized the country. American President George Bush expressed “shock” at the development and indicated that the United States would “never tolerate the reemergence of Russian fascism, regardless of if it springs up in Moscow or in Roseau.” Carnival Cruise Line also announced they were suspending stops in Roseau, citing concerns over the new ruling government’s ties to piracy off the coast of Colombia.
UIS President Alexander Lebed expressed “concern” over the lack of transparency in the Dominican election but called on international leaders to “respect the democratic process.”
PART ONE: THE CLOWN BEFORE THE STORM
***
UIS Presidential Candidate Vladimir Putin in an interview with the BBC on February 2, 2017.
Discussing the early days of the Lebed Presidency.
BBC: Mr. Putin, let’s start by discussing the UIS role in the Second Korean War.
Putin: And what role is that?
BBC: Excuse me?
Putin: What do you think was the UIS role in the Second Korean War?
BBC: I’m not sure I understand the question? Alexander Lebed invaded North Korea. I don’t see how that is even remotely disputed.
Putin: Perhaps there was more to it than meets the eye. Maybe the real purpose of the intervention had nothing to do with North Korea.
BBC (long pause): All right then,. I’ll bite. What was the “real” reason Alexander Lebed almost started a nuclear war?
Putin: Well President Lebed was a very clever man. Perhaps to clever for his own good. He manipulated the world into fearing Vladimir Zhirinovsky while simultaneously manipulating Vladimir Zhirinovsky into pursuing his radical agenda. An agenda that ultimately could be summed up as such: protect the Union at all costs. He thought that Zhirinovsky served his purpose that he would simply become the darling of the West. He thought he would always be seen as the last sane man in the former Soviet Union. The Great Wall of Reason that kept both fascism and communism at bay.
BBC: So what went wrong?
Putin: You need a boogieman like Vladimir Zhirinovsky to be lurking in the shadows if you want the world to see you as the first line of defense…and by 2004 Vladimir Zhirinovsky looked anything like a looming threat. He was an utterly defeated shell of a man. A broken man. A weak man who no longer projected strength or instilled fear. He once was frightening because he was a clown who stumbled into the most powerful office on the planet. By the summer of 2004 he was just a clown…and even worse. He was a drunk clown. But as it turns out, sometimes there is a clown before the storm.
***
Anger mounts as former UIS President Vladimir Zhirinovsky arrested in Sochi strip club
By John Makela, NBC News
January 13, 2004
In an incident that President George Bush called “completely unacceptable” former UIS President Vladimir Zhirinovsky was arrested after he caused a riot and was kicked out of a Colombian strip club in Sochi. It was the second time Zhirinovsky was arrested for violating the terms of his house arrest, prompting protests from Western leaders and human rights activists.
“We are told that Vladimir Zhirinovsky is under house arrest in Sochi pending trial for treason in Moscow,” human rights activist and former Chechen refugee Umar Taimiev said from his office in London. “But it has become increasingly clear that government of the UIS is unwilling to enforce even the most basic provisions of his conditions of release. This is the second time that Chechen refugees like myself who suffered under the genocidal policies of Vladimir Zhirinovsky have been forced to read about his drunken antics in Russia. All the while there is no indication that the Russian government is supervising his house arrest at all.”
In early November Zhirinovsky caused an international incident when he drove his East German1986 Tabant P601 into the living room of a retired schoolteacher named Yulia Popova in Sochi. Popova, who lived several miles from Zhirinovsky’s house, reported to police that Zhirinovsky was intoxicated and that he offered to pay for the damages if she “promised not to tell Lebed.”
Zhirinovsky’s arrest in November caused an international incident, prompting President Lebed to promise that the UIS would “punish those who were derelict in their duties.” However, although Zhirinovsky’s guards were subsequently replaced, last nights incident has raised concerns that the former president’s house arrest remains little more than a sham.
Zhirinovsky was acting as a “celebrity judge” at a Colombian owned strip club called Elba before he caused an incident during one of the dance routines. Zhirinovsky, who was allegedly intoxicated, called on patrons to “grab them by the pussy,” before adding “you can do anything.”
The statement caused several patrons to attempt to physically accost several of the women at Elba, which in turn prompted security to end the competition and physically remove several of the patrons.
“I don’t know who he thinks he is but we run a classy joint here,” manager Epifanio Garza said of the incident with the former president. “There is no place for that sort of behavior in a respectable place like this.”
Garza refused to comment as to why an internationally wanted war criminal was allowed to judge a striptease at his establishment, but did advise that he would be more careful in his selection of celebrity judges for future contests.
***
“A Dream for Tomorrow- By former Russian Prime Minister Gennady Burbulis”
Published by Colorado State University Press, © 2014
CHAPTER ELEVEN
I shifted uncomfortably in my chair as I looked around the table. Most of the faces were new…and young. I was growing increasingly worried about the revolving door of advisors in the Lebed administration. Since taking office at the beginning of the year President Lebed had changed his cabinet twice, and shuffled several of his key advisors including me. I was moved out as Mister of Finance a month after the election when the ruble lost 20% of its value in six weeks. I expected to be sent home, after all, if his goal was to discredit one of his strongest liberal opponents then that was very much accomplished. I knew I had become somewhat unpopular, but he nonetheless asked me to stay on as Minister of Sports. It was a demotion, the UIS Ministry of Sports was literally created that month, and it’s duties were ill defined. But I nonetheless agreed to stay on board. But his initial replacement as Minister of Finance, Mikhail Tyumenev, only lasted three months before he quit…or was fired. The two clashed frequently and by the time he left the cabinet he became one of President Lebed’s harshest critics. He subsequently joined the Yabloko Party, and called on the removal of President Lebed from office. He also was a harsh critic of me, and often called me a turncoat and a traitor to the democratic movement for my partnership with the Liberal Democrats. My own political party, the Democratic Choice of the UIS, had suffered badly and many of its members were abandoning the party en masse. I was concerned, but not entirely surprised. To be honest, I saw a great deal of logic in the move. We had lost the election in 2003 because we, the reformists, had splintered. It was to our benefit to rally around a central figure, and Yabloko head Sergey Mitrokhin was emerging as that central figure. Mitrokhin refused to criticize me harshly, citing my role in the Revolution of 2002 as a major factor in the ousting of Vladimir Zhirinovsky. But he still questioned my decision to work with the Lebed administration and would often “suggest” that I should come back to the fold. It was a tempting offer. Although I respected Lebed’s commitment to free market reforms he was showing signs of authoritarianism. And he seemed to lack the organization for government work, and often seemed preoccupied with military matters. Sometimes he would announce major policy changes and then either forget his proclamation or simply disregard it. It was a troubling trend because it fostered corruption, something I was keenly aware of.
By November of 2003 I knew that there needed to be substantial reform, and soon. The presidency of George Bush was the only thing that kept the UIS economy afloat. Bush’s economic policies had the effect of devaluing the U.S. Dollar, and that was the only thing that was keeping the ruble from going into a freefall. But with each passing day our greatest fear was becoming more likely: a collapse in global oil prices. There wasn’t a Vladimir Zhirinovsky who could cause a spike in oil prices by opening his mouth. We needed to diversify our economy before our greatest fear became a reality.
“Mr, President,” I said firmly as dozens of young aids tried to should over each other. “Mr. President, I think we need to address the banking reforms-“
“And what does banking have to do with sports?” growled Prime Minister Svyatoslav Petrushko, President Lebed’s closest aide.
“With all due respect Mr. Petrushko, but as long as I remain a member of this administration than I plan to speak on matters that I feel are pressing. You seem utterly unconcerned with the election in the United States. Polls in the United States indicate that President Bush is trailing Senator Kerry by 31 points. In fact, it appears that President Bush may not even survive the Republican primary. This coupled with the emergence of a unified European currency have the potential of sinking the economy of this country.”
“What about Athens?” President Lebed asked.
“Excuse me?” I replied.
“Athens. The Olympics. As you know, I am hoping that the UIS makes Olympic history next summer. If we win gold in every weight class in boxing we can show the world that our diversity is our greatest strength. We have fighters from every republic, except Armenia, competing. With all this talk of independence from the Armenians and the Azerbaijanis I think this could very much send a message not only to the world, but to our countrymen. We are stronger together.”
I saw Prime Minister Petrushko smirk as I sunk in my chair. President Lebed was not going to discuss matters of finance with me. I was to make sure that the UIS Olympic exceeded expectations. That was it. I tried to hide my disappointment as I discussed the prospects of the UIS sweeping gold. I felt the sudden urge to resign my post. Maybe I could go back to England and live a quiet life of retirement. Maybe I could go back to the movement and help them be a force for liberal change in the UIS.
“You seem disappointed Minister Burbulis?” President Lebed asked, prompting sarcastic chuckles from several members of the cabinet.
“With all due respect Mr. President but if I’m going to have no role other than to be a cheerleader for the UIS Olympic Team then perhaps you should have me replaced.”
“A wonderful idea!” Petrushko replied sarcastically, prompting another round of laughter. However, I could see that President Lebed wasn’t laughing, and seemed almost sympathetic.
“I would hate to see you go Minister Burbulis.” President Lebed said softly. “I do value your input and have…for some time. You are a man of conviction, and that is something I value tremendously. You had the courage to go against the 16-man Committee for State Security and Defense and call me to let me know what was happening in Grozny. You had the courage to return to the UIS and run against Vladimir Zhirinovsky when those that opposed him ended up dead. And you have the courage to stay with this administration knowing that your allies in the reformist movement are calling it nothing short of a betrayal.”
“Mr. President,” I said firmly, “I appreciate the kind words. But if my only role in this administration is to talk about our sports program then I think you can find someone better suited for the position. I have serious concerns about the direction this country is headed and I don’t think these people share my concern about how dire the situation has become.”
“Well perhaps you would like to go work for your old boss?” Petrushko hissed angrily. “I’m not surte if you appreciate this fact, but we are the only thing that is holding the fascists at bay right now! Remember, had it not been for President Lebed, then the Radical People’s Party and Oleg Malyshkin would be running this country!”
“Comrade Petrushko,” I replied sarcastically, “Vladimir Zhirinovsky was just arrested for starting a riot in a strip club. How much longer do you think you can sell him as a threat to the world? If anything he’s become a national embarrassment. John Engler has threatened to bring back sanctions if he’s elected unless we turn him over to The Hague.”
“So you think we should just cower to the threats of this American politician?” Petrushko shot back.
“No,” I replied. “I think we should send him to The Hague because he’s a war criminal. But I think we should do it now, before he gets arrested again inside of another strip club in Sochi. If we wait then sooner or later he will violate the conditions of his house arrest again. And that makes this government look incompetent. Besides, if we wait until John Engler is the Republican nominee it looks like we are cowering to his threats. If we do it now it looks like we are just doing the right thing.”
“His supporters won’t like that,” a young minister said nervously. “We could have protests.”
“Now is the time to act,” I replied, “He was just arrested in a Colombian strip club. Nobody is going to rally to him now. Let’s strike while the iron’s hot.”
I saw President Lebed rub his chin as he considered what I said. I clearly had made some headway as he considered my position.
“Prime Minister Petrushko, do we have any idea how many members of the Oprichniki have returned to the UIS?”
“No Mr. President, but I think the number is somewhat low,” he replied. “I understand many fled to Bulgaria but were not granted visas. Some have gone to Cyprus and some have gone to Liberia. But they are scattered across the planet. Although…”
“What is it Prime Minister?”
“Well, there are a few nations in the Caribbean that allow individuals to purchase citizenship.”
“What do you mean?” I asked incredulously.
”It appears that you can buy citizenship in these nations for an investment of about $50,000 American dollars,” the Prime Minister said with a chuckle. “It seems that over the last few months several high profile members of the Zhirinovsky administration have obtained citizenship overseas through this method. I thought you’d appreciate that.”
“Why would I appreciate that?” I asked.
“Well, these same men who said you were not a true Russian since you had a British passport…they now hold dual citizenship as well. I assumed you would fine their hypocrisy amusing.”
I failed to recognize the olive branch that the Prime Minister was extending at first, but as I smiled I felt the other ministers begin to laugh as well.
“I wonder why there is this rush for dual citizenship in the last few months,” I asked. “Are they expecting a pogrom?”
“Perhaps,” Lebed said softly. “But I suspect the answer may be something even simpler, but much more problematic.”
“What else could they be planning?” I asked.
“Chaos.” Lebed replied.
***
Barbados Today
Radical Russian Nationalist group dominates elections in Dominica; United States threatens intervention
By Samuel Harrison
Monday, December 15, 2003
ROSEAU, DOMINICA, In a development that has rocked the tiny nation of Dominica, a previously unknown political movement scored a stunning upset in last Thursday’s legislative elections. The ruling Dominica Labour Party was expected to easily retain control of the 21-seat House of Assembly after Prime Minister Roosevelt Skerrit called for elections on November 5th. But in what may go down as the most shocking political upset in Caribbean electoral history, 13 of the 21 seats in the House of Assembly were won by the previously unknown Dominica Liberal Party. Shock spread across the island nation the next day as it soon became clear that almost nothing was known about the new ruling party, other than the fact that all thirteen elected members appeared to attend the same church: the St. Helena Orthodox Church in Marigot. However, shock turned to anger over the weekend as the newly elected MPs emerged from the shadows.
“This man, he run as Lennox David,” Portsmouth resident Andrew Johnston said of his newly elected representative. “But he show up on Saturday and he don’t even speak English. He’s a Russia, but he run as Lennox David!”
It soon became clear that all of the winning candidates had run under assumed names and that most were from the UIS and Yugoslavia.
The Dominica Liberal Party announced in a press release that Bentley Norris of Wesley would most likely be elected Prime Minister. A search of Norris’s voter registration card showed that Norris had moved to Dominica ten months ago and had legally changed his name from Gennady Drobnov to Norris several weeks before announcing his candidacy. Little is known of Drobnov other than he listed Simferopol in the Crimean Peninsula as his prior residence. Prior to 2003 a pro Vladimir Zhirinovsky fascist organization called the Crimean Oprichniki Front was headed by a man named Gennady Drobnov in Simferopol, although it is unknown at this time if it is in fact the same individual.
“This is nothing short of an occupation,” Johnston added. “These people have invaded out country!”
Many citizens of Dominica are equally stunned at the emergence of over 30,000 new voters since the 2000 election. Dominica is one of the few nations in the world where citizenship can be obtained by making a one time contribution of $50,000 into the Government Fund. Although there have been concerns over the lack of transparency in the process, applications are confidential and not subject to review, few people in Dominica criticized the program prior to Thursday’s election. But the tiny nation of 72,000 now finds itself at the center of an international crisis as approximately 30,000 former UIS residence appear to have seized the country. American President George Bush expressed “shock” at the development and indicated that the United States would “never tolerate the reemergence of Russian fascism, regardless of if it springs up in Moscow or in Roseau.” Carnival Cruise Line also announced they were suspending stops in Roseau, citing concerns over the new ruling government’s ties to piracy off the coast of Colombia.
UIS President Alexander Lebed expressed “concern” over the lack of transparency in the Dominican election but called on international leaders to “respect the democratic process.”
- Pellegrino
- Word Count: 3.1k