TLIAD: For Want of a Microphone

[AlfieJ]

FOR WANT OF A MICROPHONE​

A TLIAD by AlfieJ​

28th April 2010

“It’s very nice to see you” Gordon Brown’s iconic - some said disturbing – smile beamed half-heartedly as he tapped the rather short, 65 year old woman - who had taken the liberty to heckle him at the worst possible time – on the back. As the empty words tumbled out of his mouth, his mind was elsewhere.

The day - the whole campaign really - had been going horribly and this bloody woman was just making things worse for him. Going on and on about benefit scroungers, immigrants and all the usual re-hashed Daily Mail crap while swearing down that she used to Labour! Christ the irony was almost unbearable; he was surprised he hadn’t said anything. He was glad he hadn’t however, with the election just a few days away he and Peter were running an incredibly tight ship, even the slightest slip up could bring an end to thirteen years of Progressive Government.

Labour had been trailing horribly in the polls since 2008 but the recent debates had at least narrowed the race. Of course, that bastard Clegg’s substance-free debate performance had caught the eye of many people and had even caused the Liberals to top some polls, but already the gimmick was fading and a Labour government - with or without the support of the Liberals - was far from impossible.

Yes, he reassured himself, things were still all to play for.

He shook the woman’s hand one more time, a few more mumbled thanks accompanying it.

He stood back and waved towards the small cluster of supporters, practically hidden from view by the forest of reporters surrounding him. He waded past them and towards the sanctuary of his awaiting car, his expression back to its normally dower self. With a final wave and faint smile he clambered into the black, window tinted car, practically already driving as he did so.

He leaned back and took a sigh of relief. Things had gone better than he first thought; he had even managed to dodge any real confrontation, at least for the Campaign’s benefit. If he carried on like this, he thought to himself, he could well stay in No.10 for other four or five years.

He smiled and unplugged the small black microphone still attached to his jacket lapel. A sense of relief washed over him. Things were looking up.

 

[IndefatigableRN]

Intriguing...

I really enjoy this TLIAD's

 

[Meadow]

Oho. Like it so far. These really are all the rage at the moment!

 

[Whanztastic]

I do too but do we really need two Brown 2010 TLIADs at the same time?

If these keep up, maybe having a sticky at the top collecting them all as they pass would be a good idea.

 

[Meadow]

I do too but do we really need two Brown 2010 TLIADs at the same time?

If these keep up, maybe having a sticky at the top collecting them all as they pass would be a good idea.

I think people are allowed to write what they like, when they like.

 

[Whanztastic]

I think people are allowed to write what they like, when they like.

True, true, but we don't want to flame out; So am I and it was just a comment.

AlfieJ may be going a whole different path than Thande. I may've been jumping the gun.

 

[Meadow]

True, true, but we don't want to flame out; So am I and it was just a comment.

AlfieJ may be going a whole different path than Thande. I may've been jumping the gun.

Fair enough. Sorry for being a bit short there, I'm slightly distracted and more than a little protective of wee Alfie.

 

[Custard Cream Monster]

Interesting. I remember reading an opener (just an opener) from someone else, probably Meadow, about where Gordon Brown, rather than being frustrated with that mic gaffe, actually challenges some of the Daily Mail crap Duffy said to her.

 

[Meadow]

Interesting. I remember reading an opener (just an opener) from someone else, probably Meadow, about where Gordon Brown, rather than being frustrated with that mic gaffe, actually challenges some of the Daily Mail crap Duffy said to her.

Yep, that was me. It went on to form the second major POD of Gordon Pulls It Off.

 

[AlfieJ]

Thanks for all the kind words already guys. I actually drafted this up shorty before my fishing trip so the Thande fiasco is pretty coincidental. Believe you me, things are going to take a very different turn.

 

[Whanztastic]

Fair enough. Sorry for being a bit short there, I'm slightly distracted and more than a little protective of wee Alfie.

Thanks for all the kind words already guys. I actually drafted this up shorty before my fishing trip so the Thande fiasco is pretty coincidental. Believe you me, things are going to take a very different turn.

Pay no attention to the coarse, mean, unwashed Yank.

Look forward to it!

 

[Thande]

I for one am proud to have a fiasco named after me

 

[LancyIain]

A bigotgateless Brown could be interesting. I have no doubt that the comment cost him some support and votes. Whether it alone would be enough for Labour to win I have my doubts, but I'm sure there would be a few changes to seats won and lost. I'll be interested to see where you take it.

Good luck with completing this in a day. You have though missed the compulsory imaginary conversation. Please rectify this at some point.

 

[AlfieJ]

​

7th May 2010

The 2010 UK General Election was by far one of the most surprising of the 21st Century. After thirteen years of Labour Government, with a slumping economy and incredibly unpopular Prime Minister in tow, a toxic mix of voter fatigue and economic uncertainty was expected to produce the Conservative landslide many pundits had expected. However, as the election night drew near, the polls narrowed and the outcome of the race became far from certain.

Nick Clegg’s shocking skyrocket in the polls following the first leaders’ debate put – for a short time – the Lib Dems at the top of the poll before quickly slumping back to third. Labour, experiencing a more or less gaffe-free final days of campaigning however, managed to gain back much lost ground while the Conservatives continued their picture perfect campaign, while serious uncertainty reigned among the backrooms of the party.

By polling day on 6th May 2010, the three respective leaders set off for their respective polling station for what would be a very long day.

Almost throughout the day - as a hung parliament became more and more likely as polling began to seep through - initial talks began between the three parties, should none of them gain a majority. Labour were first to take the plunge, making first contact with the Lib Dems, openly offering coalition in the event of a hung parliament. Nevertheless Nick Clegg stayed to his election promise; the first preference of talks would go to the party with the most amount of votes and seats.

However, the many failings of First Past the Post could well prove that promise difficult to completely fulfil.

By the early hours of the 7th May 2010, the final results were coming in. As Gordon Brown entered the offices of Party HQ a flurry of aides and activists cheered in delight, Peter Mandelson among them. Another impressive Labour hold flashed on the screen and the seat count went up. Gordon smiled broadly and waded his through the crowd, a barrage of pats on the back following him. He eventually found himself next to Peter, eyes on the TV like everyone else.

“We can do this Gordon, we can still do this.”

“A majority?” Gordon asked.

“Oh of course not but a coalition, and a bloody strong one at that. But we’ve got work to do first.”

 

[MrHuman]

Cool, will follow. I don't really know enough to know how this would affect the Lib Dems, but I'd assume negatively. But I'm a bit confused, because even his own advisers don't think he can get a majority, so isn't there a risk of the same coalition as IOTL? What would change the minds of the Lib Dems?

Also, I think TLIADs have just been written by Brits so far.

 

[Meadow]

Cool, will follow. I don't really know enough to know how this would affect the Lib Dems, but I'd assume negatively. But I'm a bit confused, because even his own advisers don't think he can get a majority, so isn't there a risk of the same coalition as IOTL? What would change the minds of the Lib Dems?

Also, I think TLIADs have just been written by Brits so far.

You don't need a majority to form a coalition - on the contrary, if you have a majority you don't need to form a coalition. A majority means you have more seats than everyone else put together. A coalition is usually formed to create (or strengthen) a majority.

In this scenario, it seems Mandelson and so on are confident that Labour will be the largest party, and so the most 'entitled' to form a coalition to give them a majority. But Alfie's hints suggest that the party with most votes might not end up with the most seats - now to proportionality-sceptics like me that might not matter, but given that Clegg's OTL quote was obviously set-up to prepare the ground for the Tories, if the Conservatives get the most votes but Labour win the most seats (very plausible), things will get Interesting.

 

[MrHuman]

You don't need a majority to form a coalition - on the contrary, if you have a majority you don't need to form a coalition. A majority means you have more seats than everyone else put together. A coalition is usually formed to create (or strengthen) a majority.

In this scenario, it seems Mandelson and so on are confident that Labour will be the largest party, and so the most 'entitled' to form a coalition to give them a majority. But Alfie's hints suggest that the party with most votes might not end up with the most seats - now to proportionality-sceptics like me that might not matter, but given that Clegg's OTL quote was obviously set-up to prepare the ground for the Tories, if the Conservatives get the most votes but Labour win the most seats (very plausible), things will get Interesting.

Sorry, I phrased that badly. I know how majorities work. I mean that if they don't have a majority, which it's pretty clear they won't, they will have to be in coalition with or get S&C from the Lib Dems, which I don't know that they'll be able to do. But that's helpful, thanks.

 

[LancyIain]

Given how Alfie phrased this update, I suspect we'll end up with a House of Commons where either Labour plus the LibDems or Conservative plus the LibDems would equal a majority. If I'm right, I very much look forward to this. If Labour and the Tories are both commited to creating a working coalition, that could make things difficult for Clegg. He will undoubtedly speak to the Tories first as he promised, but almost certainly there will be more productive talks with Labour than there were OTL too. I wonder how the LibDem MPs and members would vote if there were two viable and interested coalition partners.

I wonder if the LibDems will find themselves under pressure to make a quick decision over which party to marry. I can't see them being able to drag things out for too long given the state that I remember the financial markets were in at the time. If they try to drag their feet and get concessions that could prove unpopular.

 

[AlfieJ]

​

7th May 2010 (Part Two)

Gordon Brown climbed out of his chauffeured car and stared head on at the crowd waiting for him outside No.10. A forest of faces, some angry, some happy, some indifferent greeted him, the odd red “Vote Labour” or Conservative “Change” placard flew above their heads, along with television cameras, phones and camcorders. A group of young Tory activists held a few of new “RESIGN!” posters over the metal barriers, - quickly slapped together at Tory HQ following the announcement of a hung parliament - his super-imposed face smiling back at him.

He didn’t even break stride to take in the scene before him. He swiftly walked towards the welcoming doors of No.10, a mixture of jeers, cheers and calls for his resignation following on behind.

As a security aide quickly ushered him through the doors, for officially the first time since the election. Sarah and the boys had got home a bit earlier; packing for a swift departure had been put on hold for now. A flurry of applause greeted him as he walked into the grand hallway, civil servants, aides and cleaners shook his hand and cheered him on, some fake smiles nevertheless betrayed themselves.

It didn’t matter now; a new wave of optimism had washed over him since the final results of the election came through earlier that morning. The Conservative calls for his resignation, may well have carried at least some weight a few hours earlier, but now with Labour the largest party in the House of Commons (albeit by fourteen seats) and more than eligible to cop into Nick Clegg’s coalition promise, it was felt by many that the election had already been one.

Left wing bloggers had already begun celebrating an unprecedented fourth consecutive electoral victory against the Tories while right wing blogosphere declared Brown continuing “undemocratic” - seeing as Labour, despite winning the most amount of seats, lagged three points behind the Tories in terms of votes - and demanded his immediate resignation. The Lib Dem blogs, as usual, remained unread.

Nevertheless, despite the on-going war of words between the three factions, manoeuvring was already in the works. Andrew Adonis had been working since the announcement of a hung parliament to try and arrange some sort of formal meeting between the Liberals, Paddy Ashdown had already agreed to a quiet word that afternoon and a phone call with Nick was in the works. However, the yellows had already found themselves torn on who exactly to talk to first. The Tories may well had won more votes but Labour’s seat lead challenged their initial entitlement to first contact. The fact that both parties could form a majority government with Liberal support made things even more complicated.

By the time Gordon Brown arrived in the war room, most of the aides and senior negotiators had begun work on what could well be Britain’s fourth New Labour government. No matter who got the first meeting with the Liberals, Gordon reassured himself, this was going to be a question of policy.

 

[LancyIain]

As I thought. I look forward to seeing which way the LibDems jump. I do expect them to talk to the Tories first, but not by much; an hour or two, perhaps. Negotiations will be ongoing with both parties almost from the get go. How the negotiations go and what the negotiators recommend should be very interesting.