Grieving gamester Joey D seems to be sadly socking it to the sappy sycophants and mangy mousters of Burbank! The ex-fiancee of the Divine Miss Monroe has come to Tinseltown to drum up support for a Free Speech League! Flash, Mr. East Coast Athlete! Out here in Hollywood, one thing pops louder than the crack of a bat, and that's the sound of the cash register! Or don't you remember that's why you left your former flame in the dust? Poor Joey D! Shoved out of the limelight by one Mickey, and loses his love to the toppermost popularity of another! So, Joey, unless you plan on putting your money into a new studio, you can forget your politics, because the Mouse is squeaking louder than you!
-Confidential Magazine, 6/8/56
JOHNSON SURPRISE WINNER IN CALIFORNIA PRIMARY, KEFAUVER WITHDRAWS
-Sacramento Bee, 6/8/56
"My fellow Americans, for far too long we have been led down a road of pie-in-the-sky promises, of dreams and fantasies with no basis in reality, no stake in them for the common man. Domestic strife has been met with fancy gadgets and talk of rockets to the moon. We have turned our back on our closest of allies in the Mideast in order to canoodle with a military dictator sworn to their destruction. In our streets, despite endless empty promises, our youths run rampant with a total disregard for the rule of law.
"I say this to you: In a Johnson administration, you will see all of our cities treated equally in regards to government funds, rather than seeing a few fortunates receiving manna from on high while the infrastructure crumbles in the rest.
"In a Johnson administration, we will not forget those for whom we sacrificed much, for whom we suffered so much in the name of freedom, nor shall we sacrifice them to the plots and schemes of mad sheiks
"In a Johnson administration, we shall see all Americans afforded their full share of Constitutional rights, regardless of their relgion, race, or color."
-Excerpt from Sen. Lyndon B. Johnson's speech upon receiving the Democratic nomination.
"Aw, hell, who put the Negro comment into the speech? I want his ass fired now!"
-Robert F. Kennedy, heard backstage at the 1956 Democratic National Convention
Hell, it was like the Democrats didn't want to win! Sure, of course the civil rights mumbo-jumbo played well to the comsymp libs up north, but you would have thought that they'd learned their lesson a couple of elections before that. But Johnson ok'd it.
I was watching the speech with the President when LBJ made the "full share" comment. Disney groaned. It was almost like he felt sorry for Johnson. Not sorry enough to not sit back with some glee as the Southern contingent bolted the party for the second time in ten years, mind. You could hear the boos start in the convention hall that night, and they pretty much didn't stop till November. If a Northerner had said it, hell, they wouldn't have cared. But one of their own? I think it took all of a day before the "Lyndon Baines Judas" buttons started appearing.
-Retired Senator Roy Cohn (R-N.Y.), quoted in Magic Kingdom: America In The 50s by Studs Terkel
SEVEN INJURED IN MOUSEKETEER/STREET GANG BRAWL
-Miami Herald, 7/1/56
In the wake of recent adverse publicity, the Central Office has deemed it advisable to withdraw Disney Defender groups from active patrol until such time as a more comprehensive training process can be completed. Said training will include but not be limited to: Unarmed combat, baton combat, and a thorough grounding in legal matters related to self-defense and the correct manner in which to perform a citizen's arrest. Firearms training may be appropriate in some areas of the country, but it is important to state for the record that Disney Defenders must never be armed on patrol unless all legal matters have been cleared with the local authorities, and unless the Defenders bearing arms are well-trained in their use and over the age of 16.
The training should be complete by the end of November, at which time we hope to resume active patrols.
-Mickey Mouse Club Memo, 7/6/56
SECRETARY OF STATE DULLES MEETS WITH NASSER: Nasser Calls Canal Nationalization Rumors "Zionist Propaganda"
-The New York Times, 7/26/56
SEN. JOHNSON: Therefore, I believe that it is in the best interests of this great nation to take a close look at both candidates before you, and make your decision based on the simple facts. You have before you a President who has done many great things for this country, as I will be the first to admit. He did these great things in his home of Hollywood, California, among the glitz and glamour of that town. Now he's attempted to run an entire country on the same moonshine and fairy dust.
PRESIDENT DISNEY: Before I respond to the rest of the honorable Senator's comments, I would like to make one minor factual correction: The Senator referred to Hollywood as my home. Now, it is true that I worked near there for quite a while, though I was actually in Burbank. However, my home is in Kansas City, Missouri, and it's from that fine city that I draw the dreams, values, and inspiration that drive me every day of my life. I'm sure that the Senator remembers Missouri: It's where my predecessor President Truman came from. The land of Mark Twain, of simple times, happy dreams, and ice cream socials. That's the America I grew up with. That's the America I believe in to this day, no matter where I may live, whether it be in Burbank or the White House."
-Excerpt from first Presidential Debate, 1956
"Tell this Colonel Whoever-he-is that I don't show pornography on this program."
-Ed Sullivan, quoted in Mad, Bad, And Dangerous To Know: Rock And Roll In America
THIS...IS...GENIUS!!