So, rolling with the punch of Normanism, Gamble figures out a way to have all the nobility and ceremony that ideology promises but in an Anglo-Saxon context instead of a French one.
Well played.
Well played.
The Star-Spangled Expanded Universe of "What Madness Is This?"
- Thread starter Napoleon53
- Start date
Bingo!
Yep. Plus it basically justifies the Carolinian order in perpetuity. It's just egalitarian enough to get buy in from the rest of the population.
Maybe a plot twist: they take him, force him to have a child and then make him have a "sudden heart failure", and raise the Washington heir as a prop. Certainly MADNESS enough, but I would think they'd consider Burr and Custer moreso the fathers of the nation than Washington ITTL.
"We're Getting Murdered:" Brits Protest Cokie Economic Policy
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Strom Thurmond, Carolinian Secretary of Treasury, denounces British accusations
Article originally printed in the New York Times
Strom Thurmond, Carolinian Secretary of Treasury, denounces British accusations
April 25th, 1953
LONDON-It was an angry scene at the Ministry of Plenty yesterday morning, where ministers from various departments of the Ministry put aside their normal quarrels to unanimously denounce a new trade deal thrust on them by the Carolinian government. Minister of Plenty Harold Wilson was especially strident, calling it "An economic hit job of such brutality that even a Paddy would feel ashamed" and flat out stated "We're getting murdered in this deal."
There are two main points of contention in the deal which have driven the British to fury. The first clause of the treaty that has drawn British ire is one which forces London to devalue the Pound against the Greenback by a whopping 15%. To the ordinary man on the street, this might not sound too onerous. However, as an official from the Union Mint helpfully explained for us Comrade-Patriots here at the New York Times "The Carolinian demand here will mainly effect the balance of trade between the Confederation and the BU. Cokie imports will be more expensive for the British government and British consumers, but British imports will be much cheaper for Carolinian consumers." Given the fact that Britain imports large quantities of food, diamonds, and bullets from the Carolinas, this could cause an economic and even military catastrophe in the country. Panic buying is already occurring in London and Manchester, as the price of food could increase by 20%. Meanwhile, the British government is already anticipating shortages of wool, suits, dresses, ale, and scotch, among other consumer items. Secretary of Treasury Strom Thurmond justified this clause of the treaty by stating "The continuing inability of the British government to pay more than the bare minimum on their debt to our nation, and their continuing struggle to deal with the Irish Problem and the aftermath of OpCrom seem to indicate a weaker Britain than what the boys in London will admit. So, we think their currency ought to reflect that. If they don't like it, they should try building a stronger economy and army, rather than their current stratagem of bitching and moaning." Bank of the Union analysts believe that this is an attempt on the part of Charlotte to turn Britain into "A second Mittelafrika."
The second clause that angered the British government and public mandated that British firms that work with Carolinian ones transfer technologies deemed necessary by their Cokie partners. Many believe that this is an attempt by the Cokies to get their hands on new fertilizers developed by British corporations. Many of Britain's major companies have denounced the technology transfer arrangement as "legalized industrial espionage." Secretary Thurmond shot back "The Carolinian people have given the British people access to hundreds of our parents and technologies. All we ask for is a little reciprocity." When asked by this reporter exactly which technologies his nation's government has shared with the BU, Secretary Thurmond responded "Hell if I know, and I sure as hell don't care. But, it is an unequivocal fact that we have done so in the past." When asked a follow up, he merely replied "I believe I just addressed that matter, my Northern friend. Thank you." Requests for information were denied by the Cokie government, citing "security concerns."
Despite all the huffing and puffing, the Brits wound up signing on the dotted line anyway. The reason, according to fellow Comrade-Patriots in Treasury authorized to discuss the matter with us, is the Cokies threatened to call in all debts owed to them by the British people, which would have effectively bankrupted the nation. Said Comrade-Patriots have requested that this paper advise all its readers to scale back their investments in Britain for the time being, in order to minimize any potential fallout this deal could have on our own financial markets. All Hail this sound financial advice! We'll continue to monitor this situation on behalf of God, Country, and you the readers, so the American people can make the investments that are best for them and the nation. All Hail the People! All Hail the Treasury! And All Hail President Steele!
That's a really interesting way to look at it! I hadn't even thought of it along those lines per se. If I had to sum up the direction I think Carolina should take (as long as Napo doesn't off them randomly) I think I'd sum it up as a 1950's culture and aesthetic, built on a social framework from the 1880's, and financed via the most modern methods of economic manipulation and neo-colonialism. I do see the Cokies being much more economically libertarian than the rest of the Free World though, to go along with the whole ancap idea
What'll be the Mc[Something] of this universe?
P R I V A T E L Y
O W N E D
P I N N A C L E
C O K I E
M c N u k e s
P R I V A T E L Y
O W N E D
P I N N A C L E
C O K I E
M c N u k e s
Last edited:
Really great work everyone has been contributing over the past while in this thread!
I was wondering if anyone has put together all the canon and expanded universe information on Illuminism in one spot. I realize that it isn't going to have too much focus put on it throughout the Pinnacle Future, but the strange, spiritual syncretism Illuminism has was one of the things that really drew me into WMIT. Searching through the forums brought me a lot of disparate pieces, so I'm sure I've missed out on some kind of Enlightened wisdom!
I was wondering if anyone has put together all the canon and expanded universe information on Illuminism in one spot. I realize that it isn't going to have too much focus put on it throughout the Pinnacle Future, but the strange, spiritual syncretism Illuminism has was one of the things that really drew me into WMIT. Searching through the forums brought me a lot of disparate pieces, so I'm sure I've missed out on some kind of Enlightened wisdom!
Stories Of The Mills: The Mills Rebellion
During the Third American Revolution outside the town of Elk Redemption news came in from Philadelphia. Custard's rebellion had begun! And all troops were being called to action. Most of the troops begrudgingly complied and were packing up their gear. But not Alexander Mills, he and his friend Don Strom picked up their guns and knocked on the door of command. A young soldier opened and Don asked him to join the Revolution against the tyrants for the blonde lion himself Custard! The soldier said: "yessir! Long live the revolution!" The soldier took out his pistol and they rushed to Colonel Oyster's office finding him. "Freeze in the name of Prophet Burr!" Don said as Alexander ran up to the machine-gun tower above. The gunner taking a smoke break was Don's brother Joeseph. Joeseph who was on with the Revolution let Alexander take the mega-phone and light the spark: "My fellow patriots this revolution is bigger than all of us. For Jehovah let's grab are arms for Custard and overthrow the tyrannical system that binds us all. Us the defenders of Jehovah are the ones who can make this world better for our children one without inferiors or papist. The future is in our hands and it can be pinnacle or we can let the papist overrun us. Death to traitors always, fascism forever!"
The troops cheered at the speech and began to turn on the military establishment. The anti-Custard forces opened fired and the pro-Custard troops fired slaughtering them. Alexander Mills ran down and led the troops to the town of Elk. A town of 12,000 that was critical for transport with the train depot that was responsible for transporting the troops in the area and for bringing resources like timber, wheat, and meat. Colonel Oyster was given the choice by Don: join or be executed for treason. Oyster chose shooting him with his pistol in the stomach and shooting the soldier in the head. He sent a message in morse code to the nearest military base before Joeseph shot him in the heart with a revolver. Don died two days later and was given a hero's funeral.
Alexander Mills led the troops to Elk where 200 men were waiting for them. Both sides were shocked to see each other so early and neither was prepared to fight. Alexander Mills, however, fired his rifle killing a man in the front. The pro-Custard forces began firing and the anti-Custard forces retreated to cover as Alexander yelled at his troops to unload the auto-guns. Once set up they showered the traitors with bullets ripping apart bushes and trees as anti-Custard troops deserted. The ones who deserted were shot at by both sides. 20 minutes later the anti-Custard force surrendered and was imprisoned in Camp Osk. Elk didn't resist and joined the Revolution as more troops attempted to crush the Mills rebellion as it was now called. Joeseph Strom led troops against the remaining traitors destroying them with a surprise attack. For Alexander Mills's bravery, he was made Secretary of State of Redemption. His job was simple: kill any traitors remaining and protect government officials in the state. This would all come to a head at the O.K Corral on December 3rd, 1897 only six years after his rule began.
During the Third American Revolution outside the town of Elk Redemption news came in from Philadelphia. Custard's rebellion had begun! And all troops were being called to action. Most of the troops begrudgingly complied and were packing up their gear. But not Alexander Mills, he and his friend Don Strom picked up their guns and knocked on the door of command. A young soldier opened and Don asked him to join the Revolution against the tyrants for the blonde lion himself Custard! The soldier said: "yessir! Long live the revolution!" The soldier took out his pistol and they rushed to Colonel Oyster's office finding him. "Freeze in the name of Prophet Burr!" Don said as Alexander ran up to the machine-gun tower above. The gunner taking a smoke break was Don's brother Joeseph. Joeseph who was on with the Revolution let Alexander take the mega-phone and light the spark: "My fellow patriots this revolution is bigger than all of us. For Jehovah let's grab are arms for Custard and overthrow the tyrannical system that binds us all. Us the defenders of Jehovah are the ones who can make this world better for our children one without inferiors or papist. The future is in our hands and it can be pinnacle or we can let the papist overrun us. Death to traitors always, fascism forever!"
The troops cheered at the speech and began to turn on the military establishment. The anti-Custard forces opened fired and the pro-Custard troops fired slaughtering them. Alexander Mills ran down and led the troops to the town of Elk. A town of 12,000 that was critical for transport with the train depot that was responsible for transporting the troops in the area and for bringing resources like timber, wheat, and meat. Colonel Oyster was given the choice by Don: join or be executed for treason. Oyster chose shooting him with his pistol in the stomach and shooting the soldier in the head. He sent a message in morse code to the nearest military base before Joeseph shot him in the heart with a revolver. Don died two days later and was given a hero's funeral.
Alexander Mills led the troops to Elk where 200 men were waiting for them. Both sides were shocked to see each other so early and neither was prepared to fight. Alexander Mills, however, fired his rifle killing a man in the front. The pro-Custard forces began firing and the anti-Custard forces retreated to cover as Alexander yelled at his troops to unload the auto-guns. Once set up they showered the traitors with bullets ripping apart bushes and trees as anti-Custard troops deserted. The ones who deserted were shot at by both sides. 20 minutes later the anti-Custard force surrendered and was imprisoned in Camp Osk. Elk didn't resist and joined the Revolution as more troops attempted to crush the Mills rebellion as it was now called. Joeseph Strom led troops against the remaining traitors destroying them with a surprise attack. For Alexander Mills's bravery, he was made Secretary of State of Redemption. His job was simple: kill any traitors remaining and protect government officials in the state. This would all come to a head at the O.K Corral on December 3rd, 1897 only six years after his rule began.
The Belle of the Ball: The Story of Baroness Audrey Kathleen van Heemstra
The Baroness at a cotillion ball hosted in her home (1956)
From the beginning of the nation's history, the Carolinas have been obsessed with aristocracies and nobility, the country gentry and the noble knights. In fact, the core of Carolinian society consists of a home-grown aristocracy, albeit one that can be surprisingly meritocratic for those who make a fortune. However, there's always been a sense that it "ain't the real thing." Many European aristocrats scoff at Cokie pretensions to nobility, viewing them as "imposters who lack the blood pedigree or breeding" to be a true aristocracy. For the Cokies' part, there was always a certain "Nordic Charm" that was missing. To solve this issue, one lucky man would help import some said charm, in the form of Baroness van Heemstra.
The Baroness at a cotillion ball hosted in her home (1956)
Audrey Kathleen van Heemstra was born on May 10th, 1929, to Ella van Heemstra and her British husband John Anthony Churchill Miller in the Dutch East Indies. Ella van Heemstra was the daughter of Baron Aarnoud van Heemstra, the Governor-General of the Dutch East Indies at the time. The Baron insisted that Audrey take the family name instead of her father's, as he openly despised the man. Discord between grandfather and father aside, Audrey had a very sheltered and privileged childhood, during which she lived in Amsterdam, Brussels, Paris, London, Copenhagen, and Berlin. Her family's aristocratic Dutch origins and wealth gave them the ability to traverse the continent in a way most people could not. By the age of 16, she was fluent in Dutch, English, French and German, and could passably speak the Scandinavian languages. She had also learned painting and ballet during this time. However, many of her favorite memories of her childhood were of her summers in the East Indies, on her grandfather's plantation. The Baron was indulgent of all his grandchildren, but held a soft spot for Audrey. This was in large part because of her immense interest in the arts of plantation management and colonial governance. She would spend hours with him in his study, learning about crops, soil, climate patterns, and the fine art of controlling large groups of native laborers. Her grandfather also introduced her to big game hunting and horseback riding on a family safari in South Africa, both of which became passions of hers. The relationship between grandfather and granddaughter was incredibly strong, and the Baron was in many ways her father, since her actual father was often busy engaging in various business ventures, political affairs for the BU, and regular affairs. For his part, the Baron viewed her as the strongest of his grandchildren, recounting with pride an incident in which a 16 year old Audrey put down a strike by one of the plantation crews by riding up to the men on horseback, and lashing them repeatedly. It would become a defining moment in the young woman's future.
By the age of 18, Audrey began to court. The selection of suitors was truly stunning. Among their ranks were a Norwegian fish magnate, several high profile British politicians, a half dozen members of the Dutch nobility, a member of a cadet branch of the Goodyear clan, and several high profile Yankee war heroes who had been made Sers by the Church. She spent several years being wooed by these various men at balls, banquets, and chaperoned visits to their homes. However, none of them terribly impressed her. The Norwegian was cold, and coincidentally averse to warm climes like her beloved East Indies. The Dutch noblemen were clearly only after her for her grandfather's status, and felt businesslike when courting her. The Goodyear fellow was arrogant, impetuous, and spoiled. The Brits all reminded her of her hated father. The other Yankees were all rather boorish and crass, and at least one flat out told her that he wanted to make her "A real trophy wife. Bagging a classy Teutonic aristocratic broad like you really completes my image as a Pinnacle Man. What do you say doll?" Nonetheless, by the age of 22, she was seriously considering marrying one of these men. If she took too much longer to marry, she would go from being viewed as "discerning" and become a "possible spinster." She was on another one of the family's estates in South Africa for their Easter celebration when that calculus was thrown to the wind. Family events were never pure blood family; associates, clients, and would be associates came by to socialize and pay their respects to the Baron. This particular Easter, one of their family's long time business partners from Carolina sent his son in his stead. This young fella was William James Newport II, and he was an image of Cokie class and breeding, even if his father was a self-made man. He introduced himself to the family and found Audrey "intoxicating." After paying respects to the Baron, Billy Newport spent his evening pursuing Audrey, who was slow to warm to him at first. What finally broke through to her was when the young Newport told Audrey he liked her because she was "A woman, not a girl." He later received both her and the Baron's permission to court.
Over the course of the next year, Billy Newport II gradually pulled ahead of the pack of suitors. He visited and called often, was extremely knowledgeable in horseback riding and planting, and indulged in grand romantic gestures. Surprisingly to most, he was also very attentive and listened well to his would be wife as she spoke. When quizzed on this by Audrey, Billy replied "I know lots of folks think us Cokie boys are old fashioned when it comes to how we treat the fairer sex. Maybe we are. But part of being a chivalrous husband is knowing your wife. How else are you supposed to figure out her favorite flowers, or what chocolates she likes best? Besides all that, you have a beautiful way with words." However, what finally sealed the deal was a trip to Newport II's plantation in Yonderland, which he acquired himself without help from his father. It was a beautiful 12,000 acre piece of property growing tobacco, cotton, and sugar, and worked by over 150 natives in conjunction with some modern farming technology. During the course of her stay, Billy used the lash multiple times to "enforce order." One day, as Billy was tying a dishonest foreman to a whipping post, he looked at Audrey and said "How about you handle this feller? Us Cokie men like our women to be like steel magnolias. Beautiful, but tough. Go on, take that there lash and do your worst sugar cookie." Feeling like she was 16 again, she took the lash and gave the poor foreman absolute hell. Once it was over, Billy scrubbed the blood from her hands and said "You're a helluva woman, Audrey Kathleen van Heemstra. I'd be the luckiest son of a bitch on Earth to have a woman like you by my side as I run this place." She replied "I guess you better change your name to Lucky then." After receiving the Baron's blessing (he had preferred Newport to the rest from the start) the two were married on November 24th, 1953, in the National Presbyterian Cathedral of the Carolinas in Charlotte. The wedding was a glamorous affair full of celebrities and aristocrats, causing a media sensation. Newport's triumph also caused a minor national panic in Yankeeland because as the New York Times put it: "The triumph of a mere plantation owner from the Carolinas over some of our nation's greatest war heroes, and even a Goodyear, raises serious concerns about the Fluidation of our race. Audrey Kathleen van Heemstra Newport comes from a truly Pinnacle lineage in Europe, and is by all accounts a Pinnacle Woman of the purest, strongest, most refined Fluids. If a glorified farm owner from Carolina can win her over where war heroes and Pinnacle Heirs from here cannot, then it would seem to indicate that a Fluidation Gap has opened between us and the Cokies, and not in the way we would have hoped. Clearly, the nation must do more to breed the best bloodlines so we can close the Fluidation Gap before the Cokies marry all the most Pinnacle women, among other, even more frightening possibilities." Ironically the Fluidation Gap scare caused a small wave of marriages between Cokies and American women, as the Cokke figured they could try their chances in bagging good looking American women, and the women figured they should pursue Cokie men to improve their own bloodlines.
Natives on the van Heemstra plantation in Indonesia
Billy Newport II, pictured a month before marrying Audrey van Heemstra
Dick Nixon jokes with reporters to ease fears of a Fluidation Gap between Carolina and America (January 1954)
Panics in Yankeeland aside, the Carolinian media was obsessed with Audrey Kathleen van Heemstra Newport for a far less bizarre reason; her aristocratic glamor and charm. She was essentially the embodiment of every Cokie woman's dreams. Plus, her pedigree as a member of one of Holland's great families have her an authority that other women didn't have. Women's media soon obsessively followed her for trends in fashion and homemaking, while her love of horse riding saw a spike in women taking lessons. The parties she threw in her family's plantation became fixtures on the social calendar, attended even by the Chancellor. And with the birth of their five children in the first four years of their marriage (the first pregnancy resulted in twins, and renewed fears of a Fluidation Gap in the Yankee press) the family was the perfect image of what Cokie society considered desirable.
Behind the scenes, the couple embraced dynamics that were more equitable than the surface of Cokie culture would indicate. They kept no secrets from one another, and Billy Newport II was often called "the most honest planter in Africa" because his genuine, intense admiration for his wife meant that he never indulged in an affair, or coerced the native women in his employ into bed, and Audrey reciprocated. This wasn't unheard of, but was beyond the norm for many planters and their wives (women normally stuck to affairs with white men for safety). Beyond that, Audrey and Billy made all business decisions together, and the lady of the house could be even more ruthless than the man. Under their joint leadership, the plantation doubled in size, becoming a leading grower in the area. The control of the workforce was also a joint exercise, and one where Audrey honestly took the lead. She imported the latest and greatest psychological theories of workforce management from across the globe for use, and tested them out on various crews. She also earned a reputation for brutality in "disciplining" the workforce. Some of the time, it was the garden variety brutality that any number of Cokie planters and their wives indulged in in the wilds of Africa. However, oftentimes Audrey, dubbed the Baroness after inheriting the title from her mother in 1957, was a bit more clinical in her cruelty. She wasn't interested in gratuitous cruelty most of the time, but instead used physical and psychological violence with startling precision to coerce the laborers on the plantation into total obedience. It was effective enough that she wrote a book entitled "The Art of Native Management: A Scientific Guide" that became a huge success among the settlers not just of Carolina, but also Mittelafrika, South Africa, and even Lincolnia.
When not managing the natives for her husband, the Baroness taught her children Dutch, German, and Danish, as well as the art of horseback riding. She also participated in safaris with her husband and their friends, and consistently bagged some of the biggest trophies of the whole group. In order to offset the effects of hunting, the Baroness and Billy began the Yonderland Wildlife Preservation Fund, and purchased 15,000 acres with donated money to breed lions, tigers, and other assorted game animals. She also fully embraced the role of Southern Belle, dressing in extravagant outfits designed to make her look every bit the perfect Steel Magnolia of the New Camelot. She succeeded in both looking and playing the part.
The Baroness at her family's plantation in Yonderland (1958)
Chancellor Gamble and his second daughter Grace on safari with the Newports
A special room on the plantation grounds dedicated to the Baroness' most impressive big game kills.
Sometimes I forget how close the Cokies are to their northern neighbors, in terms of madness. Still, compared to the RU, they are a breath of fresh air.
Anyway, this was amazing! I hope we'll get to see more of the Baroness and her family.
Anyway, this was amazing! I hope we'll get to see more of the Baroness and her family.
Hmmn, to be honest, I miss more dialogue, quotes or thoughts from madness!Audrey. That way the story could underline more how different she is internally from the Audrey we know. A quote at the start of the story would have been interesting.The Belle of the Ball: The Story of Baroness Audrey Kathleen van HeemstraFrom the beginning of the nation's history, the Carolinas have been obsessed with aristocracies and nobility, the country gentry and the noble knights. In fact, the core of Carolinian society consists of a home-grown aristocracy, albeit one that can be surprisingly meritocratic for those who make a fortune. However, there's always been a sense that it "ain't the real thing." Many European aristocrats scoff at Cokie pretensions to nobility, viewing them as "imposters who lack the blood pedigree or breeding" to be a true aristocracy. For the Cokies' part, there was always a certain "Nordic Charm" that was missing. To solve this issue, one lucky man would help import some said charm, in the form of Baroness van Heemstra.
The Baroness at a cotillion ball hosted in her home (1956)
Audrey Kathleen van Heemstra was born on May 10th, 1929, to Ella van Heemstra and her British husband John Anthony Churchill Miller in the Dutch East Indies. Ella van Heemstra was the daughter of Baron Aarnoud van Heemstra, the Governor-General of the Dutch East Indies at the time. The Baron insisted that Audrey take the family name instead of her father's, as he openly despised the man. Discord between grandfather and father aside, Audrey had a very sheltered and privileged childhood, during which she lived in Amsterdam, Brussels, Paris, London, Copenhagen, and Berlin. Her family's aristocratic Dutch origins and wealth gave them the ability to traverse the continent in a way most people could not. By the age of 16, she was fluent in Dutch, English, French and German, and could passably speak the Scandinavian languages. She had also learned painting and ballet during this time. However, many of her favorite memories of her childhood were of her summers in the East Indies, on her grandfather's plantation. The Baron was indulgent of all his grandchildren, but held a soft spot for Audrey. This was in large part because of her immense interest in the arts of plantation management and colonial governance. She would spend hours with him in his study, learning about crops, soil, climate patterns, and the fine art of controlling large groups of native laborers. Her grandfather also introduced her to big game hunting and horseback riding on a family safari in South Africa, both of which became passions of hers. The relationship between grandfather and granddaughter was incredibly strong, and the Baron was in many ways her father, since her actual father was often busy engaging in various business ventures, political affairs for the BU, and regular affairs. For his part, the Baron viewed her as the strongest of his grandchildren, recounting with pride an incident in which a 16 year old Audrey put down a strike by one of the plantation crews by riding up to the men on horseback, and lashing them repeatedly. It would become a defining moment in the young woman's future.
By the age of 18, Audrey began to court. The selection of suitors was truly stunning. Among their ranks were a Norwegian fish magnate, several high profile British politicians, a half dozen members of the Dutch nobility, a member of a cadet branch of the Goodyear clan, and several high profile Yankee war heroes who had been made Sers by the Church. She spent several years being wooed by these various men at balls, banquets, and chaperoned visits to their homes. However, none of them terribly impressed her. The Norwegian was cold, and coincidentally averse to warm climes like her beloved East Indies. The Dutch noblemen were clearly only after her for her grandfather's status, and felt businesslike when courting her. The Goodyear fellow was arrogant, impetuous, and spoiled. The Brits all reminded her of her hated father. The other Yankees were all rather boorish and crass, and at least one flat out told her that he wanted to make her "A real trophy wife. Bagging a classy Teutonic aristocratic broad like you really completes my image as a Pinnacle Man. What do you say doll?" Nonetheless, by the age of 22, she was seriously considering marrying one of these men. If she took too much longer to marry, she would go from being viewed as "discerning" and become a "possible spinster." She was on another one of the family's estates in South Africa for their Easter celebration when that calculus was thrown to the wind. Family events were never pure blood family; associates, clients, and would be associates came by to socialize and pay their respects to the Baron. This particular Easter, one of their family's long time business partners from Carolina sent his son in his stead. This young fella was William James Newport II, and he was an image of Cokie class and breeding, even if his father was a self-made man. He introduced himself to the family and found Audrey "intoxicating." After paying respects to the Baron, Billy Newport spent his evening pursuing Audrey, who was slow to warm to him at first. What finally broke through to her was when the young Newport told Audrey he liked her because she was "A woman, not a girl." He later received both her and the Baron's permission to court.
Over the course of the next year, Billy Newport II gradually pulled ahead of the pack of suitors. He visited and called often, was extremely knowledgeable in horseback riding and planting, and indulged in grand romantic gestures. Surprisingly to most, he was also very attentive and listened well to his would be wife as she spoke. When quizzed on this by Audrey, Billy replied "I know lots of folks think us Cokie boys are old fashioned when it comes to how we treat the fairer sex. Maybe we are. But part of being a chivalrous husband is knowing your wife. How else are you supposed to figure out her favorite flowers, or what chocolates she likes best? Besides all that, you have a beautiful way with words." However, what finally sealed the deal was a trip to Newport II's plantation in Yonderland, which he acquired himself without help from his father. It was a beautiful 12,000 acre piece of property growing tobacco, cotton, and sugar, and worked by over 150 natives in conjunction with some modern farming technology. During the course of her stay, Billy used the lash multiple times to "enforce order." One day, as Billy was tying a dishonest foreman to a whipping post, he looked at Audrey and said "How about you handle this feller? Us Cokie men like our women to be like steel magnolias. Beautiful, but tough. Go on, take that there lash and do your worst sugar cookie." Feeling like she was 16 again, she took the lash and gave the poor foreman absolute hell. Once it was over, Billy scrubbed the blood from her hands and said "You're a helluva woman, Audrey Kathleen van Heemstra. I'd be the luckiest son of a bitch on Earth to have a woman like you by my side as I run this place." She replied "I guess you better change your name to Lucky then." After receiving the Baron's blessing (he had preferred Newport to the rest from the start) the two were married on November 24th, 1953, in the National Presbyterian Cathedral of the Carolinas in Charlotte. The wedding was a glamorous affair full of celebrities and aristocrats, causing a media sensation. Newport's triumph also caused a minor national panic in Yankeeland because as the New York Times put it: "The triumph of a mere plantation owner from the Carolinas over some of our nation's greatest war heroes, and even a Goodyear, raises serious concerns about the Fluidation of our race. Audrey Kathleen van Heemstra Newport comes from a truly Pinnacle lineage in Europe, and is by all accounts a Pinnacle Woman of the purest, strongest, most refined Fluids. If a glorified farm owner from Carolina can win her over where war heroes and Pinnacle Heirs from here cannot, then it would seem to indicate that a Fluidation Gap has opened between us and the Cokies, and not in the way we would have hoped. Clearly, the nation must do more to breed the best bloodlines so we can close the Fluidation Gap before the Cokies marry all the most Pinnacle women, among other, even more frightening possibilities." Ironically the Fluidation Gap scare caused a small wave of marriages between Cokies and American women, as the Cokke figured they could try their chances in bagging good looking American women, and the women figured they should pursue Cokie men to improve their own bloodlines.
Natives on the van Heemstra plantation in Indonesia
Billy Newport II, pictured a month before marrying Audrey van Heemstra
Dick Nixon jokes with reporters to ease fears of a Fluidation Gap between Carolina and America (January 1954)
Panics in Yankeeland aside, the Carolinian media was obsessed with Audrey Kathleen van Heemstra Newport for a far less bizarre reason; her aristocratic glamor and charm. She was essentially the embodiment of every Cokie woman's dreams. Plus, her pedigree as a member of one of Holland's great families have her an authority that other women didn't have. Women's media soon obsessively followed her for trends in fashion and homemaking, while her love of horse riding saw a spike in women taking lessons. The parties she threw in her family's plantation became fixtures on the social calendar, attended even by the Chancellor. And with the birth of their five children in the first four years of their marriage (the first pregnancy resulted in twins, and renewed fears of a Fluidation Gap in the Yankee press) the family was the perfect image of what Cokie society considered desirable.
Behind the scenes, the couple embraced dynamics that were more equitable than the surface of Cokie culture would indicate. They kept no secrets from one another, and Billy Newport II was often called "the most honest planter in Africa" because his genuine, intense admiration for his wife meant that he never indulged in an affair, or coerced the native women in his employ into bed, and Audrey reciprocated. This wasn't unheard of, but was beyond the norm for many planters and their wives (women normally stuck to affairs with white men for safety). Beyond that, Audrey and Billy made all business decisions together, and the lady of the house could be even more ruthless than the man. Under their joint leadership, the plantation doubled in size, becoming a leading grower in the area. The control of the workforce was also a joint exercise, and one where Audrey honestly took the lead. She imported the latest and greatest psychological theories of workforce management from across the globe for use, and tested them out on various crews. She also earned a reputation for brutality in "disciplining" the workforce. Some of the time, it was the garden variety brutality that any number of Cokie planters and their wives indulged in in the wilds of Africa. However, oftentimes Audrey, dubbed the Baroness after inheriting the title from her mother in 1957, was a bit more clinical in her cruelty. She wasn't interested in gratuitous cruelty most of the time, but instead used physical and psychological violence with startling precision to coerce the laborers on the plantation into total obedience. It was effective enough that she wrote a book entitled "The Art of Native Management: A Scientific Guide" that became a huge success among the settlers not just of Carolina, but also Mittelafrika, South Africa, and even Lincolnia.
When not managing the natives for her husband, the Baroness taught her children Dutch, German, and Danish, as well as the art of horseback riding. She also participated in safaris with her husband and their friends, and consistently bagged some of the biggest trophies of the whole group. In order to offset the effects of hunting, the Baroness and Billy began the Yonderland Wildlife Preservation Fund, and purchased 15,000 acres with donated money to breed lions, tigers, and other assorted game animals. She also fully embraced the role of Southern Belle, dressing in extravagant outfits designed to make her look every bit the perfect Steel Magnolia of the New Camelot. She succeeded in both looking and playing the part.
The Baroness at her family's plantation in Yonderland (1958)
Chancellor Gamble and his second daughter Grace on safari with the Newports
A special room on the plantation grounds dedicated to the Baroness' most impressive big game kills.
Otherwise, I chuckled evily with the "Pinnacle Gap" scandal. In my country, Spain, we have a "culture" of gossip magazines and sensationalist tv programs, but more focused on the TV programs part, so I imagined a TV gossip show with the participants screaming and debating savagely over who are the most Pinnacle celebrities and talking shit about the couples with less posibilities of having good Pinnacle Fluids.
And yes, that Billy guy is probably one of the luckiest men alive.
Furthermore, Audrey being the pinnacle (pun intended) of Great White Hunters/Egomaniac hunters was a totally unexpected but welcomed surprise! Now I want to see her boasting about her hunting feats in an elegant way.
And one last thing, I share with Spangler the hope to see more.
The words Fluidation Gap have stunned me. That and the term Baroness made me think of G.I. Joe.
Seeing the positive reaction from people, I definitely plan on more! I'm not super great at dialogue which is why it was lacking, but I'm thinking about an interview for a woman's magazine in Carolina.
The Fluidation Gap was based on the Manifest Destiny Gap Churchill ranted about in the BU chapter. I'm honestly thinking of writing some news reports and stuff about it because it's such a demented concept
Not to mention Patton's warning to Uncle Joe about a drug gap with the nation's enemies.
Stories Of The Mills: Shootout At The O.K Corral
Alexander Mills and Joesph Strom had heard rumors of an inferior resistance network in 1895. The O.K Corral had been suspected as a base for two years as it had been mentioned in the inferior's version of the books of Manifest Destiny the Book Of Whipple. In the Book Of Whipple, it told of a place where no one would look and freedom would ring in the palace of Redemption. Furthermore, a song was included mentioning a Corral where you'd be set free from the lion and become a legend. Prophet A. A Lincoln had ordered his assassination in 1860 due to his support of the Indians and Catholics. Of course, it was too late as he had written his book just a week before the assassination. His son Napoleon Whipple published it in 1870 leading to RUMP cracking down on the inferiors and destroying several underground publishing factories in the ghettos. Since the Third American Revolution, the book had returned. Ever since the book flooded inferior circles it had inspired dozens of terrorist attacks including bombings and even an attempted assassination on George Custard himself. Alexander Mills has spent countless nights without sleep and now the ORRA troops were ready to destroy the O.K Corral and hopefully the inferior resistance movement once and for all.
ORRA troops surrounded the perimeter of the O.K Corral with Alexander Mills preparing to lead the charge. He fixed his bayonet and fired a shot into the air to start the raid. ORRA troops began to move in and a wooden panel opened up to reveal an auto-gun. The soldiers in the front line fired at the auto-gun as more panels opened up and pumped the ORRA troops with led. "Retreat!" Alexander Mills yelled and began to run for cover keeping his head down as he dove behind a tree into the snow. He fired a couple of rounds at the O.K Corral as Joeseph Strom went to get back up. ORRA troops managed to take out two of the five auto-guns and suffered a total of 32 dead and 21 injured. The snow began to turn red from all the blood. The inferiors had not let up strafing dead bodies to catch anyone still alive combined with only a few medics (one of which was dead) the injured had no choice other to pray for their lives. Joeseph Strom arrived with a couple of mortars managing to take out the auto-guns and get the wounded to safety. The ORRA troops now numbering 398 began to raid the O.K Corral.
ORRA troops kicked down the door and opened fired as a stick of dynamite exploded bellow them and inferiors opened fire with their rifles killing them men. From the west wall, ORRA troops blew a hole into the wall and Alexander Mills and Joeseph Strom unloaded on the men inside killing nine of them. Inside the O.K Corral, the men inside were flanked again this time from the east wall bringing down a shelf full of alcohol and shattering bottles. The men inferiors were killed by the ORRA troops and in a rare moment of calm Alexander Mills could see through the smoke and see the bar. Several bar stools were knocked down from the gunfire and tables were in good shape minus the smoke and bullet holes. 17 inferiors were dead along with 13 ORRA troops. A tear formed in Alexander Mills's eye. A picture of Henry Whipple was hung above a dartboard. An ORRA soldier grabbed a dart and tossed it at the picture getting a direct hit in the heart. A stick of dynamite fell from above and the soldier was killed as shrapnel flew everywhere. ORRA troops stormed upstairs as an explosion shook the O.K Corral...
and then the roof along with the top floor came crashing down as Alexander ran men ORRA troops disappeared under the debris and Joseph was one of them. Then the floor gave out in the middle sending bodies and wood to the area underground. ORRA troops managed to clear enough rubble to safely get down to the underground area. ORRA troops were fired upon and fired back. After 20 minutes ORRA troops moved down to find a cave filled with inferiors. The inferiors ran and ORRA and Alexander Mills ran in an attempt to catch them. Alexander Mills followed an average-sized white man with a gun in his holster. Alexander Mills attempted to shoot the man but his rifle was out of ammo. The man ran out to the forest after 20 minutes and Alexander Mills followed ditching his rifle and took out his hunting knife. The man attempted to fire his pistol and it misfired. Alexander Mills lunged at the man knocking the man to the ground. The man took out his mail opener and as Alexander Mills tried to plunge the knife into the man's heart he stabbed him in the neck pulse killing him. On December 4th, 1897 Mark Hanna was sworn in as the 2nd Secretary of State of Redemption.
Alexander Mills and Joesph Strom had heard rumors of an inferior resistance network in 1895. The O.K Corral had been suspected as a base for two years as it had been mentioned in the inferior's version of the books of Manifest Destiny the Book Of Whipple. In the Book Of Whipple, it told of a place where no one would look and freedom would ring in the palace of Redemption. Furthermore, a song was included mentioning a Corral where you'd be set free from the lion and become a legend. Prophet A. A Lincoln had ordered his assassination in 1860 due to his support of the Indians and Catholics. Of course, it was too late as he had written his book just a week before the assassination. His son Napoleon Whipple published it in 1870 leading to RUMP cracking down on the inferiors and destroying several underground publishing factories in the ghettos. Since the Third American Revolution, the book had returned. Ever since the book flooded inferior circles it had inspired dozens of terrorist attacks including bombings and even an attempted assassination on George Custard himself. Alexander Mills has spent countless nights without sleep and now the ORRA troops were ready to destroy the O.K Corral and hopefully the inferior resistance movement once and for all.
ORRA troops surrounded the perimeter of the O.K Corral with Alexander Mills preparing to lead the charge. He fixed his bayonet and fired a shot into the air to start the raid. ORRA troops began to move in and a wooden panel opened up to reveal an auto-gun. The soldiers in the front line fired at the auto-gun as more panels opened up and pumped the ORRA troops with led. "Retreat!" Alexander Mills yelled and began to run for cover keeping his head down as he dove behind a tree into the snow. He fired a couple of rounds at the O.K Corral as Joeseph Strom went to get back up. ORRA troops managed to take out two of the five auto-guns and suffered a total of 32 dead and 21 injured. The snow began to turn red from all the blood. The inferiors had not let up strafing dead bodies to catch anyone still alive combined with only a few medics (one of which was dead) the injured had no choice other to pray for their lives. Joeseph Strom arrived with a couple of mortars managing to take out the auto-guns and get the wounded to safety. The ORRA troops now numbering 398 began to raid the O.K Corral.
ORRA troops kicked down the door and opened fired as a stick of dynamite exploded bellow them and inferiors opened fire with their rifles killing them men. From the west wall, ORRA troops blew a hole into the wall and Alexander Mills and Joeseph Strom unloaded on the men inside killing nine of them. Inside the O.K Corral, the men inside were flanked again this time from the east wall bringing down a shelf full of alcohol and shattering bottles. The men inferiors were killed by the ORRA troops and in a rare moment of calm Alexander Mills could see through the smoke and see the bar. Several bar stools were knocked down from the gunfire and tables were in good shape minus the smoke and bullet holes. 17 inferiors were dead along with 13 ORRA troops. A tear formed in Alexander Mills's eye. A picture of Henry Whipple was hung above a dartboard. An ORRA soldier grabbed a dart and tossed it at the picture getting a direct hit in the heart. A stick of dynamite fell from above and the soldier was killed as shrapnel flew everywhere. ORRA troops stormed upstairs as an explosion shook the O.K Corral...
and then the roof along with the top floor came crashing down as Alexander ran men ORRA troops disappeared under the debris and Joseph was one of them. Then the floor gave out in the middle sending bodies and wood to the area underground. ORRA troops managed to clear enough rubble to safely get down to the underground area. ORRA troops were fired upon and fired back. After 20 minutes ORRA troops moved down to find a cave filled with inferiors. The inferiors ran and ORRA and Alexander Mills ran in an attempt to catch them. Alexander Mills followed an average-sized white man with a gun in his holster. Alexander Mills attempted to shoot the man but his rifle was out of ammo. The man ran out to the forest after 20 minutes and Alexander Mills followed ditching his rifle and took out his hunting knife. The man attempted to fire his pistol and it misfired. Alexander Mills lunged at the man knocking the man to the ground. The man took out his mail opener and as Alexander Mills tried to plunge the knife into the man's heart he stabbed him in the neck pulse killing him. On December 4th, 1897 Mark Hanna was sworn in as the 2nd Secretary of State of Redemption.
