Tonight, In This Very Ring: A Collection of Wrestling Timelines

[Megafighter3]

Glad Owen Hart lives ITTL; does he injure Austin like OTL, or is that butterflied away, too?

Probably not on this one, if only because I've got the "Austin doesn't get injured" TL on my suggestions list.

 

[Megafighter3]

WrestleMania XIX

Venue: Safeco Field in Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 54,097
Announce Team: Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler (RAW), Michael Cole/Tazz (SmackDown!)​

Heat Match: Big Show/Kane d. Lance Storm/Rob Van Dam for the vacant World Tag Team Championship

The tag titles were vacated after Regal's injury, so we use it to have this match. The two giants destroy Storm and his randomly-chosen partner RVD. Chokeslams all around as they win the tag belts.

Matt Hardy (c) (w/Shannon Moore) d. Rey Mysterio for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Trish Stratus d. Jazz and Victoria (c) (w/Stevie Richards for the WWE Women's Championship
Team Angle (c) d. Chris Benoit/Rhino and Los Guerreros for the WWE Tag Team Championship
Shawn Michaels d. Chris Jericho

Boom!Four straight OTL matches! We really are drifting back into the timestream.

Booker T (c) d. Triple H (w/Ric Flair) for the World Heavyweight Championship

Looks like people like you don't get to be World Champion, Triple H! Yeah, Booker T is more over than Triple H ITTL! Well, okay, Triple H has less political power (even if he marries Steph, Steph has so little creative control in things. Hell, Shane is making more waves as Paul's new "Creative Understudy" and looks to be taking over the company in due time.) so while he was the slow crawl after Pedigree spot, but Booker kicks out and hits the Book End to keep.

The Undertaker d. Hulk Hogan in a Street Fight

We put away Hogan here to add a much bigger match to Undertaker's streak instead of Big Show and A-Train. It's not a technical wrestling masterpiece, but the crowd is on their feet. Undertaker sits up after a Legdrop and hits three Tombstones to put away the Hulkster.

The Rock d. Stone Cold Steve Austin
Brock Lesnar d. Kurt Angle (c) for the WWE Championship

Apart from Brock hitting the Shooting Star Press, not much changed from OTL. The Rock wins and Lesnar gets the title.

 

[Noblesse Oblige]

Probably not on this one, if only because I've got the "Austin doesn't get injured" TL on my suggestions list.

Then I will put it on my suggestions list, would love to see an Stone Cold Steve Austin run that wasn't cut short.

 

[Megafighter3]

WrestleMania XX

Venue: Madison Square Garden
Attendance: 20,000 (Capacity)
Announce Team: Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler (RAW), Michael Cole/Tazz (SmackDown!)​

Booker T d. Big Show (c) for the WWE United States Championship

Just two WCW guys fighting for a belt they're familiar with. Book End for Booker for his second US Title match.

The Dudley Boyz (c) d. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak, Rob Van Dam/Sabu and Triple H/Rob Conway in a Fatal Four-Way for the World Tag Team Championship

The Dudleyz beat three teams here to keep their tag title, but important to this is the finish of Conway taking the 3D. Triple H tried to act as a mentor to Conway, but then he decides that he's done with this loser and gives him a Pedigree after the match before storming off.

Christian d. Chris Jericho

Keep this match from OTL.

The Revolution (Randy Orton/John Cena/Batista) (w/Paul Heyman) d. The Rock/Cactus Jack in a Handicap Match

We introduce the Revolution, a stable of the finest of OVW, led by Paul Heyman. Three of its members are in this match, taking on Rock and Cactus Jack. The match ends as the OTL one did, Orton hitting the RKO on Foley.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. (c) (w/Chavo Guerrero Sr.) d. Funaki, Jamie Noble, Jimmy Yang, Nunzio, Shannon Moore, Tajiri and Ultimo Dragon in a Cruiserweight Open for the Cruiserweight Championship

The same match from OTL, but two people got pulled and instead, it's Ultimo who eats the pin instead of Mysterio.

Brock Lesnar (w/Paul Heyman) d. Goldberg (Guest Ref: Stone Cold Steve Austin)

Heyman is able to talk Lesnar into staying for another year, so instead, he sends off Goldberg after two F5s. The Revolution stands tall at WrestleMania.

The Filthy Animals d. Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty (c), The Basham Brothers and the World's Greatest Tag Team for the WWE Tag Team Championship

And there are our missing Cruiserweights! Kidman and Mysterio win the WWE tag titles after a Shooting Star Press to Danny Basham.

Victoria (c) d. Molly Holly in a Hair Vs. Title Match for the WWE Women's Championship
Eddie Guerrero (c) d. Kurt Angle for the WWE Championship
The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) d. Kane

Keep these OTL matches and as for the main event.

Chris Benoit d. Shawn Michaels (c) for the World Heavyweight Championship

And instead of Triple Threat, we get a one-on-one of Benoit vs. HBK. Shawn, after a year with the title, drops to Benoit to check himself into rehab as the drugs finally start getting to him. Sharpshooter victory as Benoit and Eddie hug to the end the show.

 

[Hulkster'01]

Was Undertaker still a biker for X-7 - XIX?

 

[Megafighter3]

Was Undertaker still a biker for X-7 - XIX?

Yep, After doing the Ministry run, he wanted to pull back on the supernatural gimmick for a while.

 

[Megafighter3]

WrestleMania 21

Venue: Staples Cente rin Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 21,000
Announce Team: Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler (RAW), Michael Cole/Tazz (SmackDown!)​

Pre-Show Match: John "Bradshaw" Layfield wins a 30-Man Interpromotional Battle Royal by eliminating Chris Masters

Well, look who's finally back! Yeah, we haven't seen Bradshaw on a card since... WrestleMania XIV. Dang, where's he been? Mostly working in USWA and Smoky Mountain, sometimes on WWF/E TV. However, in mid-2004 he jumped over to ECW to try out his new gimmick and got immense heat, so they brought him full-time to the WWF. He hasn't gotten the mega-push of OTL, but he's on his way.

Rey Mysterio/Batista d. Big Show/Kane

A weird opening tag, but the Animal helps Lil Rey defeat two monsters. The Revolution has fractured and now Batista's in a weird tweener role. Batista Bomb followed by a springboard splash to Kane ends things.

Chris Benoit d. Booker T, Chris Jericho, Christian, Edge, Matt Hardy and Shelton Benjamin in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match

The same outcome as in "The Beast Remains" with Matt Hardy costing Edge the briefcase, allowing Benoit to win it. Also, Booker and Christian are in the match.

The Undertaker d. Shawn Michaels

So, Shawn never really overcame his personal demons ITTL. He spent '98-'01 partying it up with the Kliq and it wasn't until some time into his second WWF/E run for him to finally sober up, so it's unfortunate to say that this will be Shawn Michaels' last WrestleMania match of TTL. Health issues brought on by drug abuse took him while he was taking time off after WrestleMania and Eddie would join him with his own death (same date as OTL) so I'll give him one match against Undertaker (a very grim, if fitting end to the Heartbreak Kid) to go out on a high note.

Trish Stratus (c) d. Christy Hemme (w/Lita)

Yep. Keep it.

Triple H (w/Ric Flair) d. Kurt Angle

And now Trips is starting to turn things around. Admittedly, Hunter's not as big as before and didn't tear his quad, so he's still a good worker, he just was never able to shake being the fourth-best guy in the Kliq (fifth until Waltman started breaking down) but now as Nash is breaking his quads walking, Syxx is too high to focus, Razor is lost to his personal demons and Shawn is taking time off, Hunter gets to step up and with it, puts on a strong showing against the Olympic Hero at WrestleMania. Pedigree wins it for the Game thanks to interference by Flair.

Randy Orton d. Eddie Guerrero (c) for the WWE Championship

Orton, still loyal to Heyman and the Revolution, took his Royal Rumble victory and turned his attention to Eddie, winning his first main event title after an RKO to Eddie.

John Cena d. Brock Lesnar (c) (w/Paul Heyman) for the World Heavyweight Championship

Meanwhile, Cena begins his face run and main event push. Here, Cena's coming off the dissolution of the Revolution, having been regarded by Heyman as the weak link after he cost them the tag titles. Cena went on to become white rapper Cena and now he's here, beating Lesnar with the FU (which is especially fitting) and becomes the new World champion.

And in, not WrestleMania TL stuff: The TitanSports alliance of WWE, USWA, and ECW has fractured. See, John Laurinaitis was Vice President of talent relations. And keeping up talent relations for three promotions under one banner is harder than the simple WWE-OVW stuff Johnny Ace was dealing with in OTL and he is still not equipped to handle it, making everyone in the inner circle miserable because of his bullshit. Lawler already had problems after Stacy's firing back in 2001 and Cornette is a time-bomb on a short fuse, so the companies agreed to a split. Lawler and Cornette went back to USWA, Heyman and Sapolsky went to ECW (taking with him them a number of ECW originals and, in a big surprise, Brock) and left Vince with only himself, his son Shane and Vince Russo. Not helping matters is how Jeff Jarrett, while certainly huge in Memphis, was pretty much iced out of the WWF since 1998.

So now instead of a united front, we have the top game in town, the WWE and we have a somewhat uneasy alliance of ECW and USWA, connected by a shared exchange of talent with ROH.

 

[Noblesse Oblige]

The Titanic Powers explode...

...I'm guessing, with Shawn passing away ITTL, does that still affect Chris Benoit or does the Crippler still...you know?

 

[eldandythedoubter]

The Titanic Powers explode...

...I'm guessing, with Shawn passing away ITTL, does that still affect Chris Benoit or does the Crippler still...you know?

The best I can hope for in this scenario is that Nancy and Daniel are out of the blast radius if Chris goes lucid.

 

[Megafighter3]

The best I can hope for in this scenario is that Nancy and Daniel are out of the blast radius if Chris goes lucid.

Can confirm. WWE brought in the Wellness Policy early, but by that point, the other factors such as the head trauma and emotional strain of losing Boss Man and Eddie meant it was inevitable and while Nancy and Daniel were safe, it's very similar to the Cornette Call. They found Chris in the Dungeon, hung on the equipment.

 

[Megafighter3]

WrestleMania 22

Venue: Allstate Arena in Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 17,000
Announce Team: Michael Cole/Josh Mathews​

Pre-Show Match: Viscera wins a Battle Royal by eliminating Snitsky

Big Show and Kane (c) d. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch for the World Tag Team Championship

We switch out the mismatched team of Carlito and Chris Masters for an actual tag team, but they fare no better against the giants. Lance Cade's doing a lot better ITTL Your idol and mentor dying of complications from drug abuse is a good motivator to stay away from them, after all. Chokeslam to Murdoch ends this one.

Matt Hardy d. Bobby Lashley, Booker T, Finlay, Mark Henry and Shelton Benjamin in a Money in the Bank Ladder Match

And because RVD headed off for ECW, we have Hardy actually win this match, knocking off Benjamin and unhooking the briefcase. Go Matt.

John "Bradshaw" Layfield (w/Jillian Hall) d. Chris Benoit (c) for the WWE United States Championship
Edge (w/Lita) d. Cactus Jack in a Hardcore Match
Mickie James d. Trish Stratus (c) for the WWE Women's Championship

And there's our marathon of OTL matches. Not much change there.

The Undertaker d. Kurt Angle

We switch Mark Henry out for another Olympian, this time Kurt Angle. We give them 18 minutes to work and put Angle out with the Tombstone. We're in the final stretch of the Streak, folks.

Rey Mysterio d. Randy Orton (c) for the World Heavyweight Championship

We drop Angle and also give this 18 minutes (cut from the Michaels/McMahon match) to make this match mean something. Of course, we still have Eddiesploitation, so the TL is starting to drift back to bad stuff. Rey wins with the 619 and the Frog Splash for Eddie.

Torrie Wilson d. Candice Michelle in a Playboy Pillow Fight Match

And without anyone to stop him, we get this match. Yaaaaaaay.

John Cena (c) d. Triple H (w/Ric Flair) for the WWE Championship

And one more OTL match. Cena's gonna be on top for a while folks, get used to it.

 

[Megafighter3]

WrestleMania 23

Venue: Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 80,000
Announce Team: Michael Cole/Matt Striker​

(Dark: Elijah Burke/Marcus Cor Von d. Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero Jr. in a Lumberjack Match)

Mr. Kennedy d. Edge, Finlay, Jeff Hardy, King Booker (w/Queen Sharmell) Matt Hardy in a Money in the Bank Ladder Match

So, apart from CM Punk (who is currently in ECW) and Orton (who is in another match), this match is the same. Kennedy wins the briefcase.

The Great Khali d. Kane
Chris Benoit (c) d. Montel Vontavious Porter for the WWE United States Championship

And here's some OTL matches. Nothing to see here.

The Undertaker d. Randy Orton (c) for the World Heavyweight Championship

Instead of Batista, we have Orton lose to the Deadman here. Tombstone Victory. We add the time from the ECW Originals vs. New Breed match to this to put it over 20 minutes.

Bobby Lashley (w/Donald Trump) d. Umaga (w/Armando Alejandro Estrada and Mr. McMahon) in a Hair vs. Hair Match (Guest Ref: Stone Cold Steve Austin)
Melina (c) d. Ashley in a Lumberjill Match for the WWE Women's Championship

Yep. More OTL matches.

John Cena (c) d. Batista for the WWE Championship

And in place of HBK, we have the Animal. He and Cena put on a good match, certainly not the classic that we had in OTL, but most of the buys were for Lashley/Umaga anyway, but WWE is starting to lose its edge in the market thanks to ECW having the talent pool that WWE is sorely lacking right now.

 

[Megafighter3]

WrestleMania XXIV

Venue: Florida Citrus Bowl in Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 74,500
Announce Team: Michael Cole/Jonathan Coachman​

John "Bradshaw" Layfield d. Finlay (w/Hornswoggle) in a Belfast Brawl

Same match from OTL. Just a good ol' fashioned brawl. If you want, you can use the battle royal participants from OTL's pre-show as lumberjacks for added fun.

Chris Jericho d. Brian Kendrick, Carlito, John Morrison, Mr. Kennedy, Montel Vontavious Porter and Shelton Benjamin in a Money in the Bank Ladder Match

Since Punk is tearing the house down as ECW Champion, Kendrick takes his spot in the match, but Jericho wins.

Batista d. Umaga

OTL inter-promotional match.

The Undertaker d. Ric Flair in a Streak vs. Career Match

We have Undertaker be the one to retire Flair ITTL. Flair puts on the last great performance before falling to the Tombstone. We do the big goodbye show on RAW the next night.

Beth Phoenix/Melina (w/Santino Marella) d. Ashley/Maria in a Playboy BunnyMania Lumberjill Match
Randy Orton (c) d. John Cena and Triple H for the WWE Championship
Floyd "Money" Mayweather d. Big Show in a No Disqualification Match

All OTL, just one more match.

Matt Hardy d. Edge (c) for the World Heavyweight Championship

Unlike OTL, Matt actually got a push from the affair incident and now he and Matt face each other in the main event of WrestleMania. Matt wins with the Twist of Fate, getting his first main event-level title. It's a big moment for Matt that he never got.

 

[Megafighter3]

WrestleMania XXV

Venue: Reliant Stadium in Houston, Texas
Attendance: 72,250
Announce Team: Michael Cole/Ric Flair​

As you may have noticed, it's been a rotating announce team of Michael Cole and whatever color guy they can grab. As said before, Lawler left for Memphis and JR wasn't far behind after several terrible storylines that saw him abused and mocked on TV. Tazz and Styles went to ECW, so now we're stuck with Cole.

Pre-Show Match: The Colons (c) d. The Miz/John Morrison (c) in a Lumberjack Match to Unify the WWE Tag Team Championship and World Tag Team Championship

Yep. OTL match.

Shelton Benjamin d. Big Show, Christian, Finlay (w/Hornswoggle), Kane, Kofi Kingston, Mark Henry (w/Tony Atlas) and Montel Vontavious Porter in a Money in the Bank Ladder Match

And after several years of entering and losing, Shelton finally wins the briefcase. Thanks for not coming to the company, Punk!

Santina Marella wins the Miss WrestleMania Battle Royal (Guest Ref: Mae Young)

Yep... sorry, guys.

Triple H d. Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat/Roddy Piper in a Handicap Elimination Match

Triple H, looking to prove himself as the Game after Flair's retirement, takes on three WrestleMania veterans, beating all of them with little effort.

Rey Mysterio d. John "Bradshaw" Layfield (c) for the WWE Intercontinental Championship

And we got the OTL match, JBL throwing a fit and retiring.

The Undertaker d. Chris Jericho

And Jericho comes up to get knocked down. It's gonna be a rough patch on the way to the end, especially with losing Shawn, but I think the replacements should do just fine. Jericho takes the Tombstone here.

John Cena d. Edge (c) and Matt Hardy in a Triple Threat Match for the World Heavyweight Championship

We trade out Big Show for Matt Hardy to add some real spice to the world title triple threat. Cena takes the title with an AA to Edge and then to Matt, pinning both men.

Randy Orton (c) d. Jeff Hardy for the WWE Championship

And Orton keeps, playing conniving heel to the flashy babyface Jeff. Not much for the story going in, maybe Jeff won the Rumble. RKO victory for Randy. Man, what's ECW doing around this time? Oh man! Punk vs. Danielson? I'm so there!

 

[Megafighter3]

WrestleMania XXVI

Venue: University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Arizona
Attendance: 71,500
Announce Team: Michael Cole/Matt Striker​

Pre-Show Match: Yoshi Tatsu win a Battle Royal

ShoMiz (c) d. John Morrison/R-Truth for the Unified WWE Tag Team Championship

OTL opener match.

Randy Orton/Rey Mysterio d. Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase

We add Rey to the Orton vs. Legacy match. Cody takes the 619 before DiBiase gets hit with the RKO.

Jack Swagger d. Christian, Dolph Ziggler, Drew McIntyre, Evan Bourne, Kane, Kofi Kingston, Matt Hardy, Montel Vontavious Porter and Shelton Benjamin in a Money in the Bank Ladder Match

Yeah, keep this match here.

Sheamus d. Triple H

Trips puts over his workout buddy, falling to the Brogue Kick. Fella~

Chris Jericho (c) d. Edge for the World Heavyweight Championship
Alicia Fox/Layla/Maryse/Michelle McCool/Vickie Guerrero d. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres/Gail Kim/Kelly Kelly/Mickie James in a 10-Diva Tag Team Match
John Cena d. Batista (c) for the WWE Championship

There are all the OTL matches, now for the main event.

The Undertaker d. Owen Hart

We bring back Owen for one more match. It's a big match, and Owen can still pace it, but it's clear he's rusty after eight years away from the business. It's still a good match and has plenty of nostalgia pops, but it's a sign of things to come that this is the main event. Meanwhile, Danielson, Punk and Samoa Joe are putting on a clinic over at ECW. You really ought to flip over to that, guys,

 

[TheMatthew25]

Been loving this TL series. Love that the Eugene gimmick died here and he teams with Rob Conway (who deserved better in OTL).

Idk if you take request. But I have a fun and unique challenge for you to try: The NWA Invasion of the WWF from 1997-1998.

Yep, I want to see a rivalry between Dan "The Beast", Steve Austin, and... Steve Williams!

If you can make it work, then you are awesome!!!

 

[eldandythedoubter]

Well it didn't take as long as I thought, but here is the brock in njpw documentary.

 

[Megafighter3]

WrestleMania XXVII

Venue: Georgia Dome
Attendance: 80,000 (Capacity)
Announce Team: Michael Cole/Booker T​

Edge (c) (w/Christian) d. Alberto del Rio (w/Brodus Clay and Ricardo Rodriguez) for the World Heavyweight Championship
Cody Rhodes d. Rey Mysterio

We got our starting OTL matches for this 'Mania.

The Corre (Wade Barrett/Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater/Ezekiel Jackson) d. Kofi Kingston/Kane/Santino Marella/Big Show in an Eight-Man Tag Team Match

Instead of jobbing out the Corre, we have them win at 'Mania. We don't Cole/Lawler, so we give the match its time added on, so we got fifteen minutes for this match, which I think is fine. Wasteland to Kofi wins the match.

Sheamus (c) d. Randy Orton in a Lumberjack Match for the WWE United States Championship

We take off the two dark matches and put Orton in the D-Bry spot (Danielson did work for the WWE briefly, but was snapped back up by ECW after tiegate.) Brogue Kick wins it for the Celtic Warrior. The match is almost twenty minutes.

The Undertaker d. Sting in a No Holds Barred Match

Yes. Sting arrives four years ahead of OTL. He mostly had spent his time out of the ring until USWA split off from WWE and worked there, putting over young talent. He decided to wrap up his career and knew it had to be in WWE, so he agreed to lose to the Undertaker. It's as good as you can get from these two at this stage, ending with the Tombstone. We're coming closer to the end, just three more matches to go...

John Morrison/Snooki/Trish Stratus d. Dolph Ziggler/LayCool (w/Vickie Guerrero) in a Six-Person Mixed Tag Team Match
The Miz (c) (w/Triple H) d. John Cena (w/The Rock) for the WWE Championship

So, we add Hunter and Rock to Miz and Cena's corners, but the match is the same up until Hunter comes in for the Pedigree, only for Rock to come in and toss him out... then hit the Rock Bottom on Cena. And the People's Elbow. Miz retains and we build up for Once in a Lifetime. Oh, and there's that mixed tag match that pretty much killed Morrison's WWE career.

 

[Megafighter3]

WrestleMania XXVIII

Venue: Sun Life Stadium in Miami Gardens, Florida
Attendance: 77,363
Announce Team: Michael Cole/Booker T​

Pre-Show Match: The Colons (Primo/Epico) (c) (w/Rosa Mendes) d. Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd and the Usos in a Triple Threat Tag Team Match for the WWE Tag Team Championship

OTL pre-show, next!

Sheamus d. Wade Barrett (c) in a Lumberjack Match for the World Heavyweight Championship

So, since Barrett became Mr. Money in the Bank, he faces off against Royal Rumble winner Sheamus for the World title. We take as many of the guys from Team Teddy vs. Team Johnny and have them work this match as Lumberjacks and the match clocks in at eighteen minutes. It's a good solid match between two big UK dudes. Brogue Kick finish.

Randy Orton d. Triple H

We put Kane in as a Lumberjack and have this match. Triple H has not had a stellar career ITTL. Backstage politics shuffled him out to WCW and he never really got out of Shawn's shadow, even after Shawn's death (which no doubt greatly hindered his drive along with the infidelity between Chyna and Waltman) and while he and Steph got married, it took her years to attain any power as she was kept off the creative team for years. It took the dissolution of the TitanSports Alliance, Vince Russo jumping ship to book for WSX (which, with a smartened Russo behind the helm, actually managed to not only get two hours on MTV, but jump over to Spike in 2008 and run until 2013 before being cancelled) and Shane finally taking full control of WWE for her to be the head booker. Really, at this point Trips is most likely going to go behind the curtain earlier as his best years are behind him. He takes the RKO here and the match itself is 22 minutes.

Big Show d. Cody Rhodes (c) for the WWE Intercontinental Championship
Kelly Kelly/Maria Menounos d. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres

Another set of OTL matches, sorry Cody. We'll give him eleven minutes to work with to make up for it.

The Undertaker d. Chris Jericho in a Hell in a Cell Match

And because Jericho was more of a major player for WWE than Triple H (yes, seriously) he gets the End of an Era match. It's one of the last major highlights of the Streak, ending with a Tombstone to Y2J.

John Cena (c) d. The Rock for the WWE Championship

And we have once really mean once. Cena retains the WWE title, beating the Rock with an AA. The two shake hands to end the night. Passing the torch and all that jazz.

 

[Megafighter3]

WrestleMania 29

Venue: MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 79,425
Announce Team: Michael Cole/John "Bradshaw" Layfield​

Pre-Show Match: The Miz d. Wade Barrett (c) for the WWE Intercontinental Championship

Yeah, pre-show match stays from OTL again.

The Usos (Jimmy/Jey/Joey) d. The Gentlemen's Club (Cody Rhodes/Damien Sandow/Fandango) in a Six-Man Tag Team Match

Yeah, since Jon Moxley and Tyler Black have been tearing the house down in ECW in the TV and World Title ranks, we don't have the Shield. Instead, we get Big Joey Uso again! And hey, I can recycle another match from a previous TL! Whoo! Spear to Fandango!

Mark Henry/Big E. Langston (c) d. Big Show/Kane for the WWE Tag Team Championship

And this time, we have Big E working with fellow strongman Henry to keep their tag belts over two more giants. It's big and big on big and big! Hosses all around! Big Ending to Kane wins it.

Ryback d. Dolph Ziggler (w/AJ Lee)

Just have Ziggler bump like crazy for Ryback to get him some heat after his streak was broken by Cena (because of course, it was.) He's not heel yet, but it's coming.

Randy Orton d. Chris Jericho

And we kill the legend of Y2J here. Just a good solid match, we can take time from the Undertaker match for this. Give them 14 minutes and wrap it with the RKO.

Alberto del Rio (c) (w/Ricardo Rodriguez) d. Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter) for the World Heavyweight Championship

Yeah, OTL match.

The Undertaker d. The Rock

Yeah, sorry guys. Without Punk, we just have Rock. Well, guess if people wanted Rocky to Rest in Peace, they got it. This is pantomime, Rock just can't bring a classic to the Deadman at this stage. Too far gone in Hollywood to recapture any magic and he put his best into his match with Cena last year. Tombstone mercifully ends it.

Brock Lesnar d. Triple H in a No Holds Barred Match

After over five years in ECW and being a top draw there, Vince finally got back at Heyman by drawing Brock away with promises of way more money for way less work. Meanwhile, Trips had been contemplating retirement for a while, so he takes the loss here, tapping out in the Kimura and being stretchered out. Brock is gonna be in standard Brock mode, so get used to that.

John Cena (c) d. Sheamus

Cena's been champ for so goddamn long. And his character has not changed and his matches are so boring. CM Punk's currently on fire as ECW champion, especially now as the leader of the Revolution X stable (himself, Moxley and the KoW) fighting against Danielson, Black, and the Dudleyz, but Cena is just so whitebread. And even worse, he's stale whitebread. Cena hits the AA, pins Sheamus *yawn* Goddamn it, why did I order this PPV?